Stranger
by PatriciaS
Summary: 31 August 2000 Father Antonio meets a stranger on the beach, as he takes care of him everyone’s perspective as to what happened to Ben on Christmas morning 1999 changes. Chapter 66 Ben and Meg as the day comes to the end.... danni Thanks for your review.
1. Chapter 1

Original story and characters belong to the writers etc. of Sunset Beach. With added thanks to Anja as the idea grew while reading one of her stories.

As usual facts and fiction have been mixed together; all new characters are mine as are the errors, omissions and black holes. Oh yeah this is done for fun and feedback is very welcome but most of all I hope you enjoy the ride.

Idea of history well … generally based on the soap opera until Christmas Eve/Morning 1999 … any changes the in history to make this tale, come out during the story.

**Stranger **

31 August 2000.

A gentle breeze whipped round Father Antonio as he stood on the sands wondering if the stranger sitting on the rocks jutting out into the sea was just enjoying watching the red and gold rays amongst the clouds as the sun set, or was a suicide about to happen. Either way, he knew he had to get the person's attention because the waves would start crashing over the rocks instead of against them as the tide was coming in fast.

Realising the jumper and bag lying on the sands near him probably belonged to the person on the rocks Antonio knew he would have to be careful how he got the person's attention. The last thing he wanted was to scare them into the water or be thought a thief and got attacked. Coming to a decision he made sure his hands were in view, took a deep breath and kept his voice casual as he called out. "Excuse me!"

The seated stranger jumped slightly at the sound then staying silent and eased round to face him.

Having confirmed the person was a male and he'd got his attention Antonio decided it would be better if he got a bit closer ... be easier to speak rather than shout. So, still keeping his hands in view he walked round the man's possessions and then stopped to see if there was any adverse reaction.

The man stayed seated and silent.

Antonio guessed the man was weighing him up now he was closer, and hoped he would be recognised as a man of a church or faith because of his white collar and dark suit and was therefore a friend rather than a threat. Seeing him better he realised the man was a 'traveller' rather than a tourist and was likely to be a newcomer as a local one would never sit on the rocks. Also he didn't look like a 'suicide about to happen' which made Antonio relax a little and run through what he could see.

The man was wearing a check lumberjack shirt and jeans, which seemed to be in good condition and was unshaven with dark hair tied back in a short pony tail under a wide brimmed baseball cap. Antonio suppressed a smile while wondering just how much of the sunset the man could have seen as the brim seemed to hide his eyes completely. He then pondered the fact - if the man wasn't there for the sunset then maybe he'd just got tired and sat on the rocks for a rest before seeking refuge in the town or to sleep on the beach for the night...

That thought brought him back to the reason he was there so speaking slowly just in case American English was not the man's first language he explained. "The tide is coming in and this area will be covered very quickly … you and your bag will get wet." There was no reaction to his words so he carried on. "The waves could pull you off the rocks into the sea. So you need to move **now**. … If you want a bed and food for the night we have a shelter in the town. … It's free."

Antonio watched as the man still staying silent got up slowly and started clambering over the rocks towards him. He saw the man was tall possibly six footish but immediately hunched over so looked slight shorter. Reckoned that was to make sure he did not fall off the rock, which made sense. As for age well possibly 30's upwards rather than downwards to 20s and medium to thin build … and gave a very quiet huff of disappointment as his thoughts ran on to the obvious conclusion. … This was not the young runaway he had hoped for, which was a pity, as the lad had been missing for four days now and because no body had been found meant he was likely to have left the area. That would mean a long wait before any contact or reconciliation, which reminded him of his fellow brother who he sorely missed... Shutting down these thoughts he moved to one side so the man could get to his things, and he could indicate which way they would walk into town … that is if the man wanted to come.

As the traveller silently walked past Antonio to get his things he noticed the man stayed hunched over and looked down rather than ahead or to the side at him and wondered if he needed to keep a barrier between him and the world. … Hence the cap over his eyes, which might mean he had been hurt in someway … possibly rejected by family and or friends, even an ex-serviceman too troubled to stay in one place for long. Then of course he might be unable to speak … hence the silence and that was why he took to the road. Whatever it was he knew the man needed to know there were people here he could trust as well as places he should not go.

Understanding this was likely to be a one sided conversation he started to explain. "I'm here as a friend not a converter to my faith. …The shelter is run by a local charity for the homeless and travellers. … It used to be a warehouse so it's quite large … they have single rooms as well as dormitory areas and a large area for food and sitting around in if the weather's bad or you need to rest. … If you don't want to give your name or speak that will be all right, though they will ask you to sign or make a mark in a book when you arrive or leave. … That's in case they have to get everyone out in a hurry it's not happened yet and unlikely to. … They don't allow drugs, drink or smoking in the rooms, but you can smoke in the yard if you wish … each room or each bed in the sleeping area has a locker and you have the key to it."

While he was talking he watched amazed because the man had managed to put the jumper on without taking off or dislodging his cap, it was as though the thing was part of him. He winced slightly at the coloured strips on the jumper even slightly faded they clashed … and guessed it had been knitted by helpers who had picked any old colour from odds and ends handed in. That being the case it was most likely first chosen for warmth and was now possibly a friend, something he knew he could rely on in all weathers. From what he could see of the man's hands they had a 'weather beaten' tan so he had been on the road for a while and was not someone just out of jail or hospital, which might have been a problem. … …

The man's coughing fit brought Antonio out of his thoughts especially as it carried on for a minute or two, as it eased to a stop he said casually, "We can get that looked at and treated for free if you like."

The man stayed silent as he recovered from the fit then shook his head and faced Antonio for a moment, making him wonder if the traveller was slightly slow in thinking and he was going to have to repeat his offer of a shelter. But there came a sigh and a very crackly husky soft voice which disappeared into nothing at the end. "D … D… Doorway fine."

Although Antonio could not see the man's eyes because of the cap he sensed the traveller was surprised, possibly even shocked by his own voice, which could mean he had not spoken for a long time, as in weeks or months rather than days. If so his slowness could be due to lack of contact with people, which in turn could mean he had a people problem in that case he would have to tread carefully not to scare the man off.

Still speaking slowly giving the man time to understand but hoping not to sound patronizing he said. "It might be a chilly night with rain early morning … the police will move you on … they check doorways and the beach regularly. … If there's no room in the shelter they will put you in jail till morning."

Again there was a long pause then a crackly soft husky response "E … Eat … move ...o" disappearing into another coughing fit.

Antonio sighed. Yep definitely a people problem and that cough really needed attention, even without a soaking if it rained in the morning. So, he really needed to get him into some kind of shelter and would not fail him as he had with his fellow brother who he hoped would return soon in spite of the passing months….

He squashed the thought as he suddenly realised if the traveller did not like people he would not like the shelter or jail if he got caught, which was quite likely … so he had to think of something else fast.

The coughing fit died into the odd splutter as the man put his bag over his shoulder and walked towards Antonio and as he got level with him, he turned slightly towards town and carried on walking.

Though the man hadn't said anything Antonio could almost hear the 'come on then what are you waiting for' sigh in the man's body language, which nearly made him chuckle out loud. He now knew the man was content in himself and had a language all his own which he would have to learn if he was to persuade him to stay so that cough would get better and started to catch the stranger up.

After a few paces Father Antonio knew what to do and knowing there might only be a nod or shake of the head, or if really lucky a short "yes" or "no" outlined his idea. "The Mission where I work is on the edge of town … backs onto fields so there are hedges … there is a cemetery of course but that makes it open and peaceful, … … has a nice view across the town and out over the bay. … There's an old entrance at the rear with a covered porch, which will give you shelter from the rain and a yard area for you to use when it is dry and sunny. … There's also a washhouse, which is clean and usable. … You can be on your own if you wish or wander around … we will give you food and bedding and you will be safe. … The gate is locked at night so no one can get in without a key … but you can get out by releasing the latch I'll show you how. Also there's a bell on the side door to the kitchen, which will get you help if you need it day or night.

There are several Nuns and Priests including myself who live in … one of us is always on call so you don't need to think you are disturbing us unduly if you need help or company. You can use it as a base till your cough gets better if you like."

For a moment Antonio wondered if he'd been talking to himself because the man did a slow turn to look back at the sea. Almost as though he was checking it was still there and then turned back towards the town and walked on with his head down watching where he was walking. Antonio just caught a very husky "Thanks" nothing more not even a look in his direction either to check he'd been heard. He couldn't help smiling as he walked, relieved he got his man for tonight at least, which meant there was hope for tomorrow and the next.

A moment later the husky whispered "Place called?" so surprised Antonio he had to think before he answered. "Town's called Sunset Beach." and decided to explain the route. "We go through the passageway between the houses … across the main road and into the shopping area … it will be quiet as most of the shops are closed. … Then we go along a couple of alleyways and along some more roads … not too far really." Realising he'd not introduced himself and hoping he'd get some name back he added. "I'm Father Antonio Torres though most people call me Antonio."

The "Thank you Father" disappeared into another coughing fit.

Antonio realised he was not going to get a name back and that the man's voice though husky was a bit clearer and the cough sounded a little bit easier and smiled at the use of Father rather than Antonio. It was a tiny step in trust perhaps, but by using the Father he was showing him that the barriers would not come down unless he really, really trusted him and that from past experience with other travellers that might take a long time. He thought over the man's few words and noted he did not detect a strong American accent as some states had, but there could be a softer one hidden by the cough. Also English seemed to be his mother tongue so was not Mexican or one of Mediterranean groups definitely not one of the Asian groups due to his built but could be Canadian or even mixed state though...

Letting those thoughts go he noticed that the silence they walked in was comfortable and the man was not edgy either, didn't keep checking to make sure he was there or which direction they were going in. He just kept on walking and looking down in front as though making sure he knew where his feet were being placed. Antonio just about managed to hide and stop the smile that threatening to come as he thought about trees, lamp or sign posts in town and whether he ought to warn the man about them before he bumped into them.

By the time they entered the shopping area he knew the traveller had a sixth sense about things in his way and avoided them easily. He also noticed the man never looked up or gave hint he heard people's greetings of "Good Evening Father" as they walked on by, he knew people were unlikely to stop and talk as he had a traveller in tow but if the need arose they would say they would call later and carry on.

Having just past another couple and seeing no one ahead Antonio decided it was time for another gentle push for information and asked. "How long have you been on the road?"

The man did not look up as he answered. "D Don't know. … c cold getting warm."

Antonio thought he sensed and heard a warning 'not to push with questions' in the man's soft husky voice before it disappeared into a whisper. So he would not. He needed the man's trust more than answers they could come later if they had time together. So, instead as they walked he silently pondered about 'cold getting warm' which seemed a strange thing to say … and as they were coming out of summer … that would be warm getting cold surely. Though he knew even summer nights could be cold for someone without shelter. … Then again he might have come from the north. No that would mean flying … that would mean money …well he could be a con job have a suit squashed in his bag …no, possibly not.

Well could be spring into summer or even winter into spring? … Weather beaten tan so months or years certainly not days or weeks on the road ...but surely he would have said years. … He said 'he did not know' … perhaps he didn't, after all what did time mean to the traveller … all he would need to know is that daylight means you are awake, get food and darkness you sleep preferably in shelter of some kind. … Days would need counting and who could remember numbers without a calendar and travellers don't worry about calendars or watches … he had not seen a watch on the man's wrist, unless it was hidden by his shirt …

He stopped those thoughts because his attention was caught by two ladies up ahead who had just come out of a shop and were locking it up for the night. Smiling he slowed down slightly hoping for a quick word.

The ladies were sisters and close friends of his, both in their twenties, pretty with long hair, one brown haired who took after their father and other black haired after their mother, both with independent ideas and could be stubborn at times, which lead to a very interesting business partnership.

The dark haired one turned and smiled as she spoke. "Hi Antonio, we've been held up by the dreaded stocktaking, everything all right?" she gave a polite nod towards the traveller not expecting any acknowledgement and turned her attention back to Antonio.

True to form the traveller stayed silent with his head down but had moved slightly away from the group as though understanding they wanted and he was giving them privacy.

Antonio saw this move read the body language and knew the man was happy with them stopping so smiled as he answered, "Yes thanks Meg, and you?" Meg nodded as he carried on. "I can see your still blooming Sara not too long now is it?"

Sara laughed brushing her hand over her bump, "About two months if he does not kick his way out before hand!"

Antonio smiled as he replied. "That's the kind of thing Gabi was saying and she gave birth early, must be the sea air. She's fine and would like some intelligent gossip if you have time?"

Meg laughed and Sara answered with a tease. "So… she's had enough of Ricardo then."

Antonio chuckled and said, "You could say that... but don't tell … well not in his hearing anyway" remembering the light-hearted banter between his brother and Gabi seemed to carry a bit of an edge to it recently.

Two very loud sharp bangs from the end of the passageway, where Antonio and the stranger had come from, had the group turning in shock and trying to protect each other. As Antonio steadied Sara when another louder one came he realised they were not gunshots but firecrackers and exclaimed heatedly. "Hell! Not again. I wish kids would stop playing with those things making everyone jump." And took a breath then added. "All right Sara?"

Reassured there was no real danger Sara grateful for his support gasped for air and put her hand on her stomach. After a moment she felt she could answer his question though breathlessly. "Yes ... fine thanks... I suppose I could ask them to do that a couple more times then he'll definitely come early. … Keep up the trend. … If you're seeing Gabi tell her I'll be over tomorrow about 2 o'clock and we can compare notes and chat about the shop. … … Cathy's well I take it."

Antonio stepped back now Sara was recovering and answered. "Yes last I heard she's fine I'm seeing her later this evening, they are going to start taking her out now she is stronger." He looked around to check on the stranger and exclaimed. "Where's he gone?!"

Meg looked round now she knew her sister was okay and saw the man was nowhere in sight and said. "Oh, perhaps he does not like bangs either; I expect he'll wait at the top of the arcade for you. Do you know a good gardener mine's done his back in?"

Giving the passageway ahead a quick second look hoping the man would appear as the last thing he needed tonight was to hunt for him, smiled at her question and answered. "You're not alone; your parents, Tyus and others have asked … as if I could I would magic one up … if I could would because he was ours as well. I must go I promised the man a bed for the night and as he didn't know the name of the town he's not likely to know where the Mission is from my earlier directions either."

"Known him long?" Meg asked slightly curious as they all knew Antonio's recent habit of taking care travellers.

Antonio smiled reasoning it could not hurt to stop just a moment longer. Might even help as the man would most probably come back to a known spot after getting over the shock of the bangs, which had stopped mostly likely due to the burst of a distant police car sirens, and then answered. "No, just found him on the beach watching the sun setting … did wonder if he was going to jump off the rocks but I think he just got tired. Definitely the silent type … did hope it was our young runaway at first. Thinking about gardeners how did your meeting about Ben's idea for the garden centre go?"

Meg smiled at the memory of the meeting. "Good, we've got a few new suppliers who are willing to take the risk and we can get the funds to buy without going into the other accounts. So, all we need now is to convince the owners to sell to us as a going concern rather than to the big organisation which is offering a fortune to shut it down and build on it. Tall order but you never know."

"Quite true and hav ..."

Meg interrupted him gently. "Go and find your traveller but don't forget ring here or at home if you find a gardener."

He smiled at her concern, "Yes and I'll give you a ring sometime anyway. Goodnight to you both then." As he walked away from them he remembered other news so turned and called back. "Oh yes, you should know Maria and husband are back in town."

"Thanks Antonio." Meg called back not bothering to stop for more information.

For a while the sisters walked on in silence and as they came to the car park Meg said quietly but heatedly. "Sara! I don't want any trouble from you, do you understand!"

Sara slightly cross that her sister could read her mind hissed back "If I see her I will say what I think … she should be in jail not just paid a stupid fine, with Ben's money no doubt! Why come back now … she knows she's not wanted here!"

"Sara shut it! Getting through the past months has been bad enough the next are worse and for goodness sake don't say anything to Dad."

Sara immediately regretted her words and apologised. "Sorry Sis, He's bound to find out and it's not as though he's got a thing against Ben anymore." She sighed as she carried on. "You know I reckon Benjy got the best deal, a new home and mum and dad." Then she remembered. "Oh! I found a computer programme that can alter people's appearances … make them look younger or older months as well as years, sketches into photos or 3D things should be fun. Don't suppose Ricardo's had any luck?"

Meg was pleased her sister jumped subjects; she really did not want a fight on her hands. "No the site's quiet … I suppose we could age the photo and put it up … Ben said he would come back when he was ready … but it's been a while since the last email. … I miss him … I wish I never asked for that night alone … what the hell was I thinking of … I should have." She broke off knowing words would only open the wounds she had tried so hard to close.

Sara put her arm on Meg's shoulder trying to give her some comfort and said gently. "I know Sis but it wasn't you … he said he needed to sort himself out as well … it's just taken longer than we thought. Come on it will give Ricardo something to do; he is always saying the security job is too quiet. Mind you I heard Jude is going to ask him to work on a couple of cases. Are you coming over for tea or going to Mum and Dad's?"

Meg put her hand on her sister's as acceptance of her sympathy then gently pushed it away so they could walk together and remembered what she'd heard and commented. "Jude said it was office side not street work, which will no doubt please Gabi. I'll come over if you've got food and behave sensibly, and then face Mum and Dad tomorrow, hopefully be able to give them some more news about the project. You sure you will fit in the car?" Meg teased with a smile.

Sara looked at her and exclaimed, "That is so unfair of you Meg Cummings! For that you can do the clearing up after tea. **And** of course we have food!" The sparkle in her eyes and grin confirmed she was teasing even if her voice sounded otherwise.

Meg smiled they were back on track and said. "That's what worries me your fads are soo way out! Hang on I'll push the seat back I had a long thing in back earlier."

As Sara eased herself in she said casually, "Okay I'll forgo the chilli and banana ice cream for pudding then."

Getting in the car Meg's mock horror sigh was joined by Sara's laugh then as Meg started the engine Sara added innocently "I'll serve the curry chocolate cake instead."

The car did a kangaroo hop judder as Meg moved off making the sisters laugh.


	2. Chapter 2

To Dakota. Thanks for the review. Glad you enjoyed the other story hope you will enjoy this one just as much.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

**Chapter 2**

Making his way to the Mission Antonio glanced down all the side passageways and roads hoping to see his traveller, even asked people he passed but got nothing. It was as if the stranger had disappeared into thin air or gone the other way… He squashed that thought and all it entailed and decided to press on to the Mission then work back if need be.

He also thought of his visit to see Ricardo knowing it was likely to be heated once he told him their sister was back in town. He knew Maria's move out of Sunset Beach had been a relief for everyone, and though he'd not disowned her as Ricardo had, she'd never rung him until the tense call that morning saying she and her husband were in Sunset Beach and wanted a meeting. He was the obvious bridge back into her family where Ricardo was concerned and the one who could tell her not to try it. He knew Ricardo still loved her and would be more hurt if she didn't see him … she or he just had to get past the stubborn streak.

So he'd popped in briefly and was pleased his sister had lost her bitterness/edginess and was stronger than when she'd left them and was happy in her new life. When he'd told her they'd not heard from Ben recently she shown sympathy and admitted that she'd only just got her confidence back enough to come and face everyone here. If it had been possible to put the business off she might have waited a while longer but with her husband beside her she knew she could do it. Ben was stronger than she was and would be back ... his preparation and messages proved that and he'd have his and Meg's full support. Antonio knew she was right and Ben would have to get over the added guilt that it had taken him longer than the weeks his messages imp….

He was jolted back to where he was by the sudden squealing of car brakes nearby, looking round he couldn't see anything so walked quickly down the side road just in case his traveller was the cause of the noise. Rounding the corner he saw a car gradually speeding up off down the road and there was a large dog standing on the pavement. Antonio could not help smiling as the dog was shaking its head possibly in disgust or disbelief at whatever had just happened.

Glad it wasn't his traveller he turned and started to retrace his steps knowing he was losing time and hoped the man would be waiting at the Mission. If not he would ring the police and ask them to look out for him and he would collect him where ever he was. After all he could not have gone far and it wouldn't be too difficult for one of their patrols to spot him as there couldn't be another traveller in Sunset Beach wearing that type of jumper … could there?

Then he gave a short sharp curse as he felt the first raindrop; they had said it would be morning when the weather broke not now.

oxoxo

By the time Antonio went through the Mission gates and along the path to the front door he was a little damp and concerned the man was not there at the gate. As put his hand up to open the door it found space. The door was being opened by nun who if he'd not been to one side would have flattened him, though she managed to put her brakes on so she was level with him as she stopped and he exclaimed with a smile. "Sister Jane, I hope the place is not on fire."

She laughed and said in an anxious rush, "No Father. Sorry but I wanted to catch you before you came in. There's a man in the church yard."

Antonio sighed and stopped the chuckle as he said. "Lots of people visit graves in spite of the weather."

Sister Jane shook her head knowing she had walked into that one and carried on, "Yes I know but this one's been sitting still for quite a while even though it is raining." Then she pleaded. "Will you come with me to check he's all right?"

Antonio immediately guessed her fears and reassured her. "Yes of course. I expect he's just lost in memories not dead. You'll get used to it, how are you settling in?"

"Fine thank you Father." Then she gave a gentle sigh and admitted. "It's just that one **did** in the last Mission I stayed at and I was the one who found him."

Antonio could understand her fear and said gently. "Ah, I see. Well in that case take me to him. I've got my phone if we need help."

She nodded and they walked quickly to where the cemetery looked across the town and the bay. Even now it looked pretty as the lights of the town gave it a warm glow and they concentrated on the figure sitting on the low wall. He was leaning against the tall supporting pillar and that gave him some shelter from the rain and had not moved in spite of the loud crunching noise their feet made on the gravel path the were now walking on.

As they were nearly level with man Antonio signalled Sister Jane to stop where she was, he realised it was his traveller. He felt unease as he had no idea if the man was sleeping or unconscious because that cough had taken a turn for worse. The cap was down over his eyes and he was quite relaxed with one arm across his lap the other was resting on his bag as it leant against the wall. Antonio also wondered because of the traveller's earlier reaction he was an ex serviceman so could be dangerous if woken suddenly.

He knew he had find out how the man was, so made sure he could be seen should the man lift his head up and yet be able to get out the way if he hit out. Ready he put his hand on the man's shoulder and said clearly, hoping his voice would be recognised. "Sir! I see you found your way here."

The traveller gave a start and shivered violently making Antonio take his hand away and step back. After a moment the man staying silent and not looking up swung his legs over the wall so they rested beside his bag, which he now held firmly in his hand and then stopped still.

Antonio stayed still relieved there had been no flight of fear off the wall the other way because there was a big drop into bushes. The lack of recognition in the body language worried him as did the man's stillness … it was as though there was a touch of fear in making the next move. Making the wrong move or even any move at all, which meant the sleep or reaction to the cough if that's what it was, had made him unsure if he was among friends or not.

He knew being on the road as a traveller was not always a friendly place and that went for refuges as well so the man needed to know where he stood … sat. Accepting there was likely to be silence or just a nod or a shake of the head he decided to reintroduce himself and see how they got on. Making his tone reassuring he said. "I'm Father Antonio … we met earlier on the beach … I promised you the porch for the night and some food … … we can go there now before this rain gets any heavier."

As the man just sat there Antonio wished he could see his eyes then at least he could see whether anything he said was going in or that the man was high on drugs or even knew him. At that thought he asked. "Do you remember me at all?"

The man shook his head and started to cough, which sounded bad and Antonio knew he could not wait any longer. If the man got any wetter tonight he would be a hospital case and that would cause all sorts of problems if his present attitude was anything to go by. As the coughing fit died he said in a slightly authoritative voice. "It does not matter the offer is still open. Shall we move."

The man nodded his acceptance and got up putting his bag over his shoulder ready to follow.

Letting Sister Jane lead they walked round to the back of the building and Antonio carried on talking hoping the sound of his voice would trigger the man's memory and that might make him feel comfortable enough to speak again. "You were on the beach watching the sun setting while sitting on some rocks. … I warned you the tide was coming in and offered you shelter which you accepted. … … We walked through town … in the shopping arcade I was talking to two ladies when some firecrackers went off and you must have walked away perhaps the sound startled you."

As there was still no reaction from the man Antonio stopped talking. Their memories would have been different from then on, and wondered if the man was always like this. If so with no stable memory it would be difficult to refer to something in the past and that was why he was so surprised that he spoke. If he could not remember speaking and it might not happen again till something triggered it and then there would be that surprise again...

Antonio stopped his pondering as they'd come to the large porch and sheltered in it. He looked round and decided to state the obvious so it might ground the man in some way. "This is the porch; you can sleep on one of the stone benches rather than the floor. We will leave the light in the hallway of the Mission so it will shine through the top window into here. It should not keep you awake just stop you from hurting yourself if you need to move around. If you decide to stay and want more light we can find you a lantern in the morning. That door has been blocked up so no one can come through it."

There was no reaction from the man other than looking down and tucking himself just inside the entrance. So Antonio carried on and pointed to the small building nearby. "The washroom is just over there the door can be locked from the inside, the small light in it stays on all the time as helpers use it. They will use the one in the Mission while you are here. I'll get some fresh towels and bring a mattress with a blanket for you. You can put that plank of wood across the entrance if you want some privacy or if the rain gets worse."

"Coat okay. … Wash clothes?" Came the soft husky crackly response.

From the first two words Antonio knew the offer of mattress and blankets were being turned down and wondered if their traveller only used words when really necessary and then it was straight to the point. Even so there was a gentleness about the husky tone … no sting or insult … just like … he squashed the thought that had crept up for the third time that evening, and thought about the clothes … the man most probably had only one set and said. "Yes we can do that in the morning after we've sorted out something for you to change into and you can keep the extra clothes."

"No." And the man undid his bag took out a long waterproof coat, which he put on the bench then brought out a plastic bag with clothes in and handed it to Sister Jane.

"Thank you what would you like to eat?" She asked as she took the bag.

"Soup…. Washroom?" Came the husky answer and question.

Antonio understood his need and answered immediately though with a slight command in his voice, guessing this man could be stubborn as well as silent ... he needed warmth to help that cough whether he liked it or not. "Yes of course. Soup and sandwiches with fruit, I'll get some towels and I insist on the mattress and blanket. If I can I'll get you something for that cough."

"Thanks." And the man put his coat in his bag then put the bag on his shoulder and walked quickly over to the washroom. As he came to the doorway he stopped and shivered and then walked in leaving the door open.

oxoxo

As they left their traveller, Antonio said quietly. "Guess he doesn't like buildings. I'll get the mattress and bring the food out. If you or anyone else needs to come around here I think it would be best if someone is with you Sister."

Sister Jane silently followed Antonio round to the front entrance of the Mission and then as they entered together, understanding his meaning said her voice was light and confident. "He's a pussy cat, there's no danger ... "

"**Sister** we don't know that. The firecrackers spooked him and left him seemingly without a memory of earlier. Yes I know he appears to be polite and a gentle tone to his few words **but** I don't know who would be more embarrassed him or you if he came out of the washroom with nothing on because something in there spooked him."

She gave a sigh; her tone was serious when she spoke. "Father, I was brought up in a family of 6 boys some younger than me so I do know what to expect and don't forget the judo."

Antonio laughed, remembering the well built man she had thrown over her shoulder when he hadn't stopped teasing her. "Yes I forgot that and you could be his mother I know."

She laughed as she replied. "Hey not that old thank you very much! **But** I understand your reservations so we'll both deal with food and bedding together."

Antonio gave up she might be slightly built but was very stubborn in a kind way and she was right the traveller could turn on either of them. "Okay, give you ten minutes. Oh make sure there is nothing in the pockets of his jeans I would hate to wash his fortune away."

oxoxo

Antonio went up the stairs wondering why they always stored things upstairs not on the ground floor and smiled as the idea of lifts came to mind. He found the bedding roll and tucked the blanket under his arm; eyed the pillow and decided that would have to wait for the next trip.

As he got to the bottom of the stairs with his burden he heard his name being called and waited for the inevitable remark.

"See they have given you your marching orders then!"

"Thank you Ricardo … for that you can go up and get the pillow it's in the first room on the right on the shelf can't miss it." Antonio replied with a smile and stepped aside to let his brother go past him up the stairs.

Ricardo grumbled as he passed him. "Never know when to keep my mouth shut do I."

"Want an answer to that." Antonio called to the retreating figure.

There was silence while Ricardo disappeared but when he came back into view and started to come down the stairs carrying the pillow he retorted. "Not if you want to keep the roof on this place."

As he reached the bottom of the stairs he carried on with a sharp exclamation "So!" hoping for an explanation but got none and noticing his brother might be in trouble with the blanket took it off him and followed him, hoping he could get more information by being helpful. Then he saw Sister Jane coming along the corridor and exclaimed. "Hey, food as well thanks but I thought we were feeding you not the other way round brother dear!"

Antonio and Sister Jane laughed then Sister Jane said. "No we have a traveller who is going to sleep in the back yard."

Now it made sense to him and stated the obvious. "Ahh but I thought the shelter in town was meant to stop that." then added. "You do know it's raining?"

Antonio put the mattress down and took the blanket and pillow off his brother. "He's in the porch actually and I'll explain later … I think its best if you stay here and I'll come back for the blanket … ready Sister I see it's coming down harder."

"Oh Yeah." Ricardo commented as he opened the door for them and watched them walk quickly round the corner to the yard. He wondered about following but knew his brother must have had his reasons for not wanting his help and it was wet out there.

Sister Jane returned first, looking fairly wet and grabbed the blanket and towel then disappeared back out. Several minutes later they both returned and Ricardo decided they did not quite look like drowned rats but were getting close.

Antonio shook some of the rain off his coat as he spoke. "He's tucked into the porch, there's plenty of room to keep him dry, even if he likes his head near the entrance. I'll check on him in the morning, warn the others not to wander till I say so. Keep the doors locked. I've got my set of keys and will use the kitchen door. If the bell rings before I'm back get someone to be with you as you answer it, I'll be back by 12 at the latest and you've got my phone and Ricardo's number if you need anything."

Sister Jane nodded brushing a trickle of water off her face; Antonio smiled and turned towards his brother as he said. "Good night Sister. Ricardo shall we go."

They walked together as Ricardo commented. "We'll dry you out free of charge then you can tell 'all' over dinner, especially as Gabi will be dying to hear news."

Antonio smiled and asked. "How's Cathy."

"Fine, noisy and growing."

Which reminded Antonio, "Oh yes Sara's popping over tomorrow 2 o'clock is that okay?"

"Great Gabi needs someone to talk to and they can talk babies till their hearts content."

Antonio laughed then ran with his brother out to the car.

oxoxo

With the tray on his lap the traveller sat on opposite bench to the one with his bedding on, he was just far enough in so the rain would not touch him but not so far that fear would make him run out. He did not know what fear or why he'd hesitated and shivered when he entered the washroom; it was something that just happened to him. Just as now, he was content to sit and eat and let things take their course. He didn't know about the meeting on the beach or the noises he'd apparently ran from, didn't know how he came here. Only knew he'd woke on the wall to a voice and touch and there was something about Father Antonio's voice and manner that made him stay not run … made him feel safe. Taking the last mouthful of soup knowing it was nice he did not try to question the reason why or push for thoughts about the Father's words.

Starting on the sandwiches he eyed the bed and tried to decide whether or not to sleep with his shoes on or off. Instinct told him on and in his coat as he might wake up without them if he didn't and there was something about waking in a different place as well. That too was something that just happened and nothing to worry about. But now he knew by the Father's tone of voice he wanted him to sleep in the bed with the blanket and there was part of him that knew he should. So he had to make a choice to sleep with his shoes on or off.

He knew he had to sleep and darkness and sleep would bring threads in his mind, some would stay in the darkness in sleep and others would haunt him while he woke … none made sense to him. And there were the words he'd spoken … doing it felt strange and yet right … felt as though he'd tried and failed before but could not remember when or where. One thing never left him no matter what … his bag stayed with him, there was something precious to him in it as well as things that would tell him what to do when he came across them.

A violent shiver ran through him and he realised it was darker outside so he should sleep. He started to move and felt the tray on his lap looked down and saw two sandwiches and an apple. As he took a bite out of one of the sandwiches he had the strangest feeling and saw in his mind red and gold in the sky, the sea on the rocks and the Father talking to him about staying here till he was better. He unconsciously took another bite of his sandwich and happened to glance at his shoes and lost the other thoughts as he wondered about sleeping in his shoes and he finished his sandwich.

He coughed as he shivered which reminded him of the small cup of liquid the lady said would help it. She had a friendly voice so he drank it and felt it sooth his throat and tried to think back but there was nothing just jumbled threads and darkness. He felt something on his lap move and saw the tray and sandwich and apple as he grabbed the tray his hand touched his bag, which he had kept beside him. He put the tray on the bench and opened the bag and found a box, opening it he saw it was empty except for an envelope at the bottom. He ignored this knowing there was food around and wrapped the sandwich in the piece of paper which had been put on his tray and then placed it with the apple in the box, then sealed the box and put it back in his bag.

For a brief moment he thought about the bag of clothes then gave a gentle smile … they were going to be washed. He took off his cap and shoes tucking them safely in the top of the bag and yawned ... he was sleepy. Knowing this he automatically put the strap of the bag around his arm so he would not lose it and then moved over to the bed. Pulling back the blanket he then snuggled down on the mattress laying on his side and put the bag next to his chest so he could curl round it he pulled the blanket over him. Although the coat he had laid on the bed earlier was within easy reach he wanted closer so decided to wrap the sleeve around his free arm. Satisfied everything that was important to him would stay with him no matter what happened he closed his eyes and let the darkness of sleep take him.


	3. Chapter 3

Dakota - thank you for your comments.

**oxooxo**

**Chapter 3 **

As Casey finished helping put the tea things away he watched Sara and Meg. He was pleased the dreaded stocktaking was out the way and the fright of the firecrackers hadn't led to a phone call about a premature baby. That would have finished him off without a doubt as today had been one of **those** days. As well as the usual minor mishaps he and his team had to cope with a large group of school kids and helpers who'd never been to the seaside and had only swam in a pool. So it was adults and kids finding the expanse and waves exciting or frightening and got into trouble and then they found out it was grand place to get lost on … especially the eight year olds.

If that was not enough they had to call everyone out of the sea for a short while, which was always difficult. The threat was invisible so some would sneak back in or just play deaf and dumb till they were hauled out on the board or boat. Of course then there was the rush back in when everything was okay and some grumble because they couldn't understand what all the fuss was about as no one drowned! Last but by no means least, was **that** pile of paper work at the end of the shift. He gave a slight smile remembering he'd stopped for while to watch the stunning sunset the clouds and sun produced and told him the predicted rain would come sooner rather than later.

Having finished **that** pile of paperwork successfully he had arrived home glad to see Meg was there and knew he was in for an easy evening. But, just as he sensed the mood on the beach when on patrol so he sensed the hidden tension between the sisters as they chatted comfortably over the evening meal. He was used to Sara's mood swings due to her pregnancy and knew Meg would be edgy remembering how last year they had accepted, that after Ben's trip in September he'd gone back to his wife Maria and his son Benjy. Only to find out the truth on Christmas Eve morning that Ben had never returned from Seattle … his identical twin Derek had kidnapped him and Benjy was Tess and Derek's son.

The events that morning in Southern Avenue had been traumatic for all of them. While he and Sara were escaping from the cupboard Derek had nailed them up in Tess and Maria had been fighting in the lounge and a more deadly fight between the identical twins had been going on in the basement. Meg had been able to help Ben gain vital moments towards their freedom only to have to watch the brothers fight with a gun between them. When it went off and the twins stopped fighting and lay still and she had the heart stopping dread that Ben was dead. He wasn't it was his twin who was fatally wounded and Derek's rejection of his brother's help added to the twin's burden. A burden they found out later had lead Ben to leave them on Christmas morning so they could get over Derek's deceit and he could mourn his twin's death and his part in it.

Casey tucked those thoughts away and hid his smile knowing he'd waited till everything had been put away so nothing could be thrown at him or between the sisters as he confronted them. From their chatter he'd reasoned there was only one person the tension could be about. Giving an almost silent sigh as he took a breath and feeling as though he was getting ready to dive headfirst into the sea to rescue someone the thought struck him … he was … the sisters from themselves and he should be used to it by now … shouldn't he? Knowing he could not turn back he silently hoped for a ripple rather than a tidal wave and said gently. "You know you two can't keep doing this don't you."

The sisters looked at him with looks of pure innocence, which confirmed his suspicions. So he gave them the look he gave his students when he was not going to stand for any nonsense and carried on. "Amongst other things you've mentioned stocktaking, your parents and Ben without fighting **and** Annie's tucked up with Jude. So that means it has to be Maria, **right**?"

Sara stayed silent; but Meg could not help smiling sighed and owned up. "Okay, you're right. Maria is back here with husband in tow and I told Sara to leave her alone and she said no."

"Oh" Casey sighed understanding everything now and turning to his wife said gently, "Sara sweetheart, she's paid the fine, had to get help and no doubt she will be monitored if she has children. It's understandable she broke down Christmas day, she'd been deceived in a big way, **and** yes she should have handled it better and not deserted Benjy **but** she's only human. We all could have handled those two days better and Benjy is okay he's in a very good home and they love him very much."

At Sara's intake of breath ready to spout, Casey held his hand up carrying on, he was not going to be interrupted. "I know in your eyes she compounded the whole thing by selling Ocean Drive for a lot of money but it was the agents not Maria who mentioned the twin connection. You have to remember the house belonged to Maria not Ben.**And**, can you honestly say if it had happened to you that you would have sold the house for a dollar to get rid of it. I doubt it, I also know you certainly would not have wanted to live there knowing that for four months you had been sleeping with an impostor and thought his son was your son, nor would she. She has a right to see her family, we have to accept that and I know Ben would if he was here. I doubt she will be staying long there are too many bad memories here…."

Sara didn't want to hear any more and spat out "**Casey!** … She didn't have to rub our noses in it. **She** got a million for that house as well as Ben's divorce money, … … then what did**she** do … try and get more because Ben left his fortune in Meg's care. **Hell!** She did not care what happened to Ben." She could feel her anger dropping, she knew it was no-one's fault and yet everyone's fault and the one person she wanted to talk to was not with them.

Meg sighed as her sister let off steam; she could see both sides, understand Maria's pain as she too had been cruelly deceived by Derek when he'd kidnapped Ben the first time round. And this time … well she had believed Ben had made the right decision to go back to Maria and Benjy and had not understood her doubts. Knowing her sister had run out of steam she said gently. "Sis she cared but she was hurting too. Ben made sure the divorce would be finalized Christmas morning so she could be free and everyone would know they would not be together.

She should not have left Benjy but at least he was safe and she didn't hurt him. She was lucky and found someone who calmed her and brought her back to Ocean Drive to make sure everything was all right. She and Ben needed people to look them not as victims but as ordinary people in order to ground them as they come to terms with everything. She also needed money so she could stand on her own two feet but not charity or guilt money and Ben knew that. He also knew he could not help her through it because he looked like his brother who had hurt her so much." Then she admitted softly. "And it's my problem what happened to Ben Christmas morning not hers or yours."

"No! It's not it's our problem as well." Sara and Casey said together startling each other having had and said the thoughts.

Smiling at them Meg shook her head as she spoke. "No, I was the one who left him on his own with Benjy that Christmas Eve day. Leaving him with the problem of sorting out how to explain to a child the tricks that had been played on him … on them … and do it in such a way the boy could still love his dead father. I didn't even think of that, I just wanted them to be together and to make sure my family were okay. Later when he came round to Surf Central in spite of his obvious love for me I asked for that night alone and we'd meet after Michael and Vanessa's wedding. He listened to me and talked to me and rather than pushing his need on to me … let me have my time alone.

In my love for him should have realised he needed my support, after all we'd been through part of it before! But honestly I was so relieved Derek was dead and could not hurt us ever again and knowing how much Benjy meant to Ben I wanted everything done and dusted. I wanted Benjy's trust and friendship in the morning coupled with Ben's love. … Sort of opening the parcel up on Christmas morning and finding our new future ready for us without having to look or think about what had happened in the past."

She ran her fingers through her long dark hair and gave a heartfelt sigh and carried on. "I was so wrong, and Ben was right when he said in the message I was still in shock and we all needed space. **But** I should have seen we also needed that night or even just part of that night together. I doubt if we would have made love … it would have been more like our so-called wedding … when we sat together till we fell asleep … it would have been enough. Then if he'd still wanted to leave in morning I could reassured it was all right or even left with him … but I doubt he would have accepted that. He knew my parents needed me as much I needed them and you Sara. Instead he made that decision alone…"

Casey had sat beside and knowing her fears were deeper and she needed them out in the open rather than letting them fester inside as they were starting to and interrupted gently. "We all made mistakes that day Meg … and it's easy to see them in hindsight and feel guilty. … Yes Hank and Joan could have gone over to Ocean Drive and stayed with you, Ben and Benjy for a while and it might have made a difference. Maria and Benjy were asleep when Ben left so we don't what happened. What we do know is it was not a flight of fear because of the messages he left us.

And yes it was a pity that Tyus was not in town at the time because we know he would have done things differently. Instead Ben only saw the Medics before they whisked me off to hospital. And even in my muzzy state I should have checked with him later. They saw he was all right just a bit touchy but everyone expected that … we were all a bit jumpy. … You could say the police were wrong because they didn't 'baby-sit' him or Benjy during the day. I doubt he would have welcomed that close attention. Also they should have asked more about Seattle rather than focusing on the shooting at Southern Avenue. **But** they had to make sure it was not murder and when they sure it wasn't there was the fact the threat was over because Derek died and Tess was in custody.

Also the more experienced officers who would have known better were out looking for Ricardo's body believing Antonio and Gabi had killed him. … It always hurts when one of your own has been killed or is in trouble, it's the same if a Lifeguard goes missing in or out the water … on duty or off. Then they found it was a set up and had to deal with that. … Ben has always been a capable quiet person unless really angry and everyone took his quietness as a good sign and he did needed private time to sort things out with Maria and Benjy."

He paused for a moment but Meg just looked ahead not round at him so he carried on gently. "The way he sorted things out that evening proved he was thinking properly, the divorce papers were signed ready for collection early morning and to be cleared immediately by an understanding Judge. All the financial dealings and instructions were good and his message to you showed how much he loves you and understood you needed time to get over everything … especially having watched his brother die like that. He also explained his need to you knowing you would understand it and his message to Michael and Vanessa showed his respect for their day and his care for them."

Meg had taken in his words and looked at him then voiced the niggle that would not go away anymore. "But Casey that was then and it is nearly September 2000. He should have come home by now … He said it would only be a short while … His cash card has not been renewed, even the few emails to Charles and myself have stopped now. **And** would you honestly leave your fortune with me for so long?"

He smiled knowing the answer immediately. "Yes if I loved you and knew I could trust you and he knows Charles to help you he told him to. Don't forget he also asked you to find a home that you two could live in and you have. We know his car has not turned up in a crash, been stolen or sold; his cards were used until the end of February when they needed renewing. He most probably decided it was easier to get new ones along with a new business, we all know that when he is troubled he turns to finance and makes the odd million or two."

Getting a hint of a smile from Meg he carried on. "We had proof of that from the email he sent Charles telling him not to worry about the card being cashed to its maximum as he had his eyes on a new venture. I know the few emails have always been one way and not very chatty but grieving for an identical twin must be different from grieving for a brother … then add their history and how that death came about and I expect that was why he needs a longer time... away."

Meg sighed. "I know, but Ricardo could not find any trace of him after they traced the mail to the internet cafes and my mail was always bounced back. Perhaps we should put his photo in the paper rather than on that web site."

Casey knew Ben would hate that kind of fuss and gently shot down her idea. "Meg for a start which paper and where … he could be in a different State. And as Ricardo said it will bring all the nutcases out and ransom demands because every one would know he's a millionaire. The web page Ricardo has contacted is good because we didn't have to give too much detail about Ben … but there's no harm in asking him about it.

I know it's hard …and like you I keep wondering what he's doing. But I know it's not with another woman **you** are the only one he loves. He's very sensible knows how to get help if he needs it and being a very private person and would hate the fuss if it was in the papers. He'll come back quietly and I do know he'll be very pleased about the deal you are pulling off on his behalf … especially as you've managed to get AJ interested in it."

Meg smiled feeling slightly better, true sometimes she had not been too sure who to be angry at herself or Ben ... and wondered if he was enjoying a joke at her expense … her waiting for him while he lived it up elsewhere. But then she knew Ben would not do that that was Derek's style…

Turning way from those darker thoughts she concentrated on the last bit of Casey's words and answered. "Yes I thought that was good, it's only as a minor partner but his name or influence will be useful if we have to get a manager. It was lucky Charles remembered Ben's note about the place when he heard it was for sale. I like Ben's idea of linking it to the Shelter … use the chalets as halfway houses for the youngsters ... perhaps that will help influence the sellers."

Warming to the idea a thought struck and she exclaimed. "Oh! Antonio said his traveller needed a porch instead of a building perhaps we could build something like that with a washing block for others who don't like buildings but like gardening."

Casey smiled at the change in her and said lightly. "Yeah Antonio and his strays I wonder if he will find a gardener."

Sara chucked "Perhaps that's why he's been doing it." then she turned to her sister and said with feeling. "Sis I'm sorry, put it down to baby hormones. Can you manage the shop tomorrow afternoon while I see Gabi, perhaps she can help me?"

Feeling more settled now things were off her chest…out in the open Meg smiled, "Yes we've got plenty of cover and you're forgiven, my fault for being touchy. The idea could work that traveller was quiet, but he was a stranger and we were talking so what else do you expect. I hope Antonio found him and he's not out in this rain."

In spite of hearing the rain on window she knew it was time to go so she got up and carried on. "Its funny how one man getting back trouble can cause so much disruption; mind you I don't suppose he thinks it funny having the pain and no money coming in. I must go and see if I can seal this deal they said they would all be in tonight. Thanks for tea."

Sara smiled and got up to hug her sister goodbye knowing they were all right this was not a quick exit because of her and added as she released her. "Okay Sis, see you in the morning and good luck with the phone call."

"Meg I'll walk you to the car, I've got an umbrella."

"Thanks Casey." Meg said and followed him out.

As they walked together Casey said casually but hoping to reassure her. "You know I still think it's amazing it was your father who's stood by Ben's thinking and made us realise he would have tried to take on our guilt as well as his own so would not really mourn his brother's death properly if he'd stayed."

Meg sighed, knowing that had amazed and slightly unsettled her and admitted. "I know but I wonder what he will do when Ben returns."

Casey gave a gentle chuckle; they both knew Hank's hot and cold attitude towards Ben even though he made Meg happy and was a good prospect, and reassure her. "Hank will be fine, he's seen you grow into a real business woman with a mind of her own and he knows you still love Ben even after he dumped his millions on you so suddenly."

Meg chuckled as Casey carried on. "I heard him talking to Antonio and they both seem to think Ben might feel guilty about making more millions while away grieving, but we all know that's his way of coping. It's never let him down people have. We know from his message he's moved on and started up before, this time though he's got to come back to where it all happened and that must be doubly difficult. But he will come back … he loves you too much to leave you. Trust your father Meg and tell him about Maria being around and how Sara feels **but** most of all talk to him about how you feel or your mum and she'll tell him … he needs to know."

Meg smiled thinking over his words as she found her car keys, unlocked the car, hugged him and as she released him to get in said. "Thank you, I needed to hear all of it. I know deep down Ben will seek help if he needs it and he will be back. I just want to hug him through the coming months and reassure he's never going to be alone again. It could not have been easy for him in Seattle."

Casey held the door open for her and gently told her off. "Hey, don't go there with your imagination he would not want you to. He'll come back without a fuss and I expect it will be very soon so keep trusting him Meg. Now go and make that phone call or visit and ring if you want us."

Meg said, "Thanks I will." and got in the car, started the engine and drove off.

Satisfied he'd done all he could Casey watched her then went back to Surf Central.

oxoxo

Antonio and Ricardo walked into the lounge having just finished their meal; Gabi was out of the room looking after baby Cathy.

Antonio sat down and Ricardo spoke as he moved the papers from his chair and sat down. "Well now you know all our gossip so how about your stranger."

"Not a lot, it will take two minutes if that and you can advise me whether I should tell the police we have a fragile traveller around."

Ricardo gave a gentle laugh and adding "Him and all the other travellers especially when they are drunk. Seriously, how long have you known him?" He looked up towards the doorway and carried on lovingly, "Hey, bringing Cathy into the debate?"

Gabi came in holding her daughter up against her shoulder gently rubbing her back saying. "Have you noticed she always wants a feed just when the conversation gets interesting?"

Ricardo nodded and smiled. "Well she's misjudged it this time as you knew all our gossip and it's getting interesting now. And as it's her burping time so you can listen as well. Come to think of it she misjudged her birth date and came early … fancy being here for your proposed birth day … do you think we should have a celebration when it comes."

Antonio laughed at his brother, liking the change in him and teased. "Any excuse for a party." Then added seriously. "She's looking good and catching up fast. Well my traveller … umm I've only known him a few hours and he was sober when I found him, even if he was on the rocks." Seeing his brother's expression he clarified. "**No**Ricardo rocks on the beach not ice, I spoke to him because the tide was coming and he'd get wet or swept off them. Anyway he seems to have memory lapses or possibly complete memory loss due to black outs, so I want to keep tabs on him rather than restrict him to one place. Should I lose him I want him back not in the cells for the night or Cedar Oaks he's an outdoor type as in does not like buildings and been on road."

Ricardo nodded his understanding so Antonio carried on. "It was at sunset and I thought he might have been our runaway or a suicide about to happen but he wasn't. I offered him a place at the shelter, which he rejected, offered the porch at the Mission and walked him with me into town. He's the silent type … only got a few words out of him and wears a cap and looks down at the ground so couldn't see his face. I saw Sara and Meg outside their shop in the arcade, which reminds me, Sara suggested 2 o'clock tomorrow if that's okay Gabi."

"Oh great!" Gabi said laughing as Cathy had given a small burp and hiccup as Antonio had finished talking.

Antonio smiled and could not resist commenting. "Umm don't think I should tell Sara what Cathy thinks." Seeing their smiles he carried on his story. "Anyway some kids let off firecrackers we jumped and the man ran. Sara was shaky but fine and we did not actually see him go but he was gone. I found him later in the cemetery at the Mission don't know how he found it, it's difficult to find it from the arcade … perhaps he asked or got lucky and got a lift. No scrub that if he does not like buildings he would not like cars."

Ricardo nodded and let his brother carry on. "You know it takes ten minutes to walk straight to the Mission from the arcade … well I wandered a bit so add say another ten minutes. Anyway when I arrived Sister Jane asked me to check to see if a man sat on the wall was still alive as he'd not moved even though it was raining. She wasn't sure how long he'd been there she just spotted him there. Anyway it was the traveller and I put my hand on his shoulder and called him, it was a good thing he did not jump the wrong way when I touched him otherwise he'd have fallen into the bushes."

He smiled in reaction to his brother's smile and added. "Yeah I know we would have had to call the fire service out to rescue him. He could have been asleep but whatever it was he did not remember anything, me, the beach nothing. I should add he seemed surprised when he spoke to me on beach earlier so I don't think he does it often. He's got a bad cough so I thought I might get Tyus to see him, goodness knows where though. He does not like buildings so it can be the hospital. He had to force himself to go into the washroom I saw a shiver run through him and I don't think it was from the cold. He's also sleeping as close to the entrance of the porch as he can without getting wet. He is unshaven but neat and tidy in appearance he asked for his spare clothes to be washed so he likes to be clean. When he spoke about the clothes he used two words to get his message across so he could possibly a man of few words anyway."

Ricardo nodded and contemplated his brother as he thought things through for a moment then commented. "Okay I know you're going to 'baby-sit' him if you can but be aware he could be a con job. So look for pattern and definitely check with Tyus. I know you know it but be careful around him … I don't want you injured or worse. Don't trap him physically or verbally. If he wants to do something let him lose on the cemetery and if he's any good send him out other gardens but again be careful warn everyone. You should tell Spence everything including a description and he'll pass it on. Mind you if the traveller doesn't like cars the officer will call you and you'll have to walk him back."

Ricardo couldn't help a smile as he teased. "That will keep you fit. You could of course put a label on him or in his pocket so if anyone else finds him they can send him back." Seeing his brother's expression and Gabi's chuckle he added seriously. "Might be wise to find out if he can read and or write, of course you give me something he's touched I'll get his prints and ask Spence to run him through the system and get details that way."

Antonio shook his head saying firmly "I need his trust to get anywhere; taking them behind his back would break any trust before it starts. Asking him for them could make him feel threatened though he did not react at all when I mentioned police to him earlier. I'll ring Spence in the morning after I've checked to see if he is still around he might have decided to move on. …If he is still around I could try the idea of a label in the pocket I suppose. The cemetery needs doing he can't do too much harm to it if we start off with the easy bits. I suppose there's nothing new about Ben."

Ricardo shook his head and Antonio knew he couldn't put his other news off any longer and said casually. "Oh yes, Maria's back with her husband. I warned Sara and Meg she was around I just hope fur does not fly."

Gabi gave a gentle laugh as she sat rocking Cathy in her arms and added. "Sara's never forgiven her for selling Ben's house the way she did or what happened to Benjy. I assume Maria's settled down with the same bloke."

"Yes same bloke and still married." Antonio said with a slight smile and then added seriously, "They seem very happy, and she's accepted her missing years are gone for good, the doctors reckon she was kept on one of the milder drugs which blocked her memory of Sunset Beach and made it difficult to impossibly retain day to day memories. Of course we all know Tess will keep to her story that Derek introduced her to Maria as a companion and dealt with everything himself and she didn't know about Derek being Ben till the very end."

Ricardo said gruffly. "Goodness knows what Maria sees in the bloke, he came out of nowhere and took her away. I should run him through the works after all she's a good catch having all that money."

Antonio sighed. "No Ricardo leave him alone, she's here to sort the accounts Ben left her and she was advised not cash till now as well as seeing Mama and the rest of the family including Cathy now she's stronger and ready to…"

Ricardo interrupted sharply. "**Hey, brother!** I don't believe I'm hearing this. Our sister left Benjy alone in that house Christmas morning **and** you think she should be near Cathy and have our forgiveness. … **Oh come on! ** She paraded that bloke in front of us … everyone … saying he was the only one who listened and understood her, then married him as soon as she could. Not a word since **and** now she wants to see us as though nothing has happened!"

Antonio said gently trying calm his brother down knowing what was going on deep under the surface where his brother was concerned. "Ricardo she broke down because of what Derek did to her and we could not have done thing differently that night. You needed Mama's help because if you'd gone to Cedar Oaks we would have lost you and we … Maria included didn't want that. Gabi was at the Loft there was no where else for her to go just as Ocean Drive was the only place for Maria to go. I was at the Mission dealing with the other Fathers so I didn't see Ben that night and I promised myself I would see him in the morning. If I'd gone that evening perhaps things might have been different for both them but we don't know that. We live with what we did and move having made those decisions.

No one's disputing that what she did was wrong, from what we saw Benjy hadn't been very co-operative but at least he was safe and things were not as bad as we thought they might have been. She left to get air and Bette heard and saw Benjy couldn't get in so rang Meg who was getting ready to come round anyway having got Ben's message.

Look Maria knows she messed up and they will most probably watch her if she has children but she putting her life back together again and needs our support. We … you should at least listen to her, she's renting one of those new houses on the edge of town from a friend and I don't think she's staying long. It need only..."

"She should have stayed away and I will tell her that when I see her!" Ricardo said heatedly.

Antonio nodded and didn't carry on with what he was going to say as Gabi put in quietly, "You love her Ricardo and feel as though you let her down and that's why you are angry. As for forgiveness well the three of us knows all about mistakes and being forgiven and the strength we get from it."

Ricardo looked at his wife and nodded remembering exactly what she was talking about and to make her point Gabi glanced down at her daughter before looking up at the brothers and saying. "Cathy's nearly asleep so I will say goodnight Antonio." As she got up she added softly knowing how those two could talk. "Join me soon Ricardo."

Antonio laughed at his brother's sudden change of expression at her last words and said to her, "I won't keep him too long Gabi I know you'll be up later on for her so called midnight feast. I'll... ..."

The phone ringing interrupted him and Gabi left the room quickly as Cathy was startled by it and started to whimper.

Ricardo quickly got up and answered it to find a rather breathless Meg on the other end.

"Ricardo two things … I've closed the garden centre deal … and I've got an e-mail from Ben… I know it's him there are some personal things in it that only we know about. … He's sorry for the quiet spell and has sorted himself out. Apparently he's been ill and will be back late October or early November when he's sorted some business deals out and can travel.

He refers to an earlier letter he sent me … I guess it got lost in the post. He wants to explain everything face to face but he's lost his voice that's why he's not ringing. I zapped off a reply, which has not been sent back so he must have received it. I'm so relieved Ricardo!"

Ricardo thought for a moment as he heard Meg finally get her breath back and steady down then said. "That sounds good, but I need to see the e-mail and I'll send Paul round so he can try and trace the address make sure it's real and get an idea where Ben is."

"Ricardo, don't say that, I know it's real." Then Meg huffed realising the sense of it and gave in saying. "Okay Paul can come round tonight and I'll let him take a copy but only you can read it."

Ricardo was pleased with the compromise and said quickly. "Fine, leave the computer as it is and get some rest, you know it's only me being paranoid. Well done on that garden enterprise Ben will be pleased, I trust you told him about it."

"Yes of course and that I understand why he's taken his time and I love him and look forward to seeing him. Thanks give Gabi my love."

"Will do."

Antonio watched his brother closely as he put the phone down with growing excitement having caught Ben's name and asked. "What is it?"

"Ben's emailed Meg; apparently he wrote a letter to her which has not arrived. He's sorted himself out and been ill" he smiled in sympathy knowing how frustrating it could be and explained. "He's lost his voice hence the email not a phone call. Hopes to be back late October or early November and needs to speak to Meg face to face. I'm guessing that will be done before he sees everyone else. Her reply wasn't bounced back this time."

"That's good isn't it?" Antonio exclaimed as he'd heard something in his brother's voice.

Ricardo said slowly pondering over the call. "Umm I suppose so but it's the way she said personal stuff proves to her it was him … we both know Ben is a closed person in that way." As he heard his own words he looked at his brother then shrugged his shoulders and carried on. "Oh I don't know, he did meet Meg on a chat line and they opened up to each other on it so perhaps he would with the email."

Antonio thought about what he would do and admitted. "I must admit I would not, but it was to her email address so he knew she would get it, and he most probably believes he has a relationship to repair and it's got to start somewhere … so he reaffirms what they know." Thinking on about his friend he clarified. "I mean he wouldn't want to just appear out of the blue and say 'Hi honey I'm back', he'd want her to be prepared and do it quietly in case things have changed and she wanted to say no. He did say he would accept her decision in his message to her. Now she's sent her mail he'll know she didn't get the letter and she's not refusing him, which means he'll send more details … possibly as soon as tomorrow. So what's making you edgy?"

Ricardo shrugged his shoulders and said. "Don't know, you make sense … perhaps it's because her others got rejected. Perhaps once I read it I'll settle. Anyway Paul's good at tracing these things so we might just as well do it and see how far away he is. Before you say anything I will keep where he is a secret even from Meg. Grab some coffee for us both while I ring Paul and get him round to Meg's tonight, the sooner this is done the better."

Antonio got the drinks thankful he'd not voiced his suspicions about who he thought the traveller was. This was not the first traveller he'd seen and taken care of and thought of Ben and how he might have ended up if things had gone wrong for him again.

oxoxo

In her lounge Meg sat silent watching Paul doing his magic on her machine and hid a smile at the odd tutting under his breath as he paused now and again. Satisfied he got all the information to disc and his friend was finally coming home Paul swung round and looked at Meg and smiled then started to go through things with her. "I've got all I need so you can use the machine when you want to. As it's too late to check things out now I'll do it tomorrow and report to Ricardo who will keep the information to himself. I know Ricardo's told you before but I'll say it again any strange messages computer or by phone you tell him or me."

He got a nod so carried on. "Right, saying that Ben knows your original mobile number and Ricardo's looking after the landline number from Ocean Drive its on trace and answer machine. You just gave Ben your new landline number in the email so it might be wise to leave the answer machine on all the time in case he rings. I doubt he'll ring the shop it's too public for him but he knows your there. You know Ricardo will take good care of the information here and I expect he'll ring or call round tomorrow evening so you can talk privately. I know he's got a meeting late morning and this will take time especially if I have to travel to check the place out. If I bump into Ben I will explain everything and he will understand why we are doing this."

Meg gave a slight smile knowing he was trying to reassure her and said. "Thank you I ... I don't know what to feel. I'm sure it's from him but as I read it again after speaking to Ricardo I remembered what Derek must have done to take Ben's memories last year. … So I do understand why Ricardo wants to read it and check ... he knows Ben just as well as I do. … As it's the first of September tomorrow it feels like everything's repeating itself only last year we didn't know he was missing… …"

Hearing her anxiety Paul moved his seat so he was beside her and stopped her gently saying. "Hey Meg he went on his own free will and he's away because he wants to be … well needs to be. It must have been rather a lot to cope with after all his brother had touched everything that was his and Christmas was family time. It's possible he found out about Tim's murder either then or later and wondered about the implications after all no one knows who did it. Never will not enough evidence and then there was Gregory's deceit and arrest though Ben wasn't around they knew each and it could have shaken his confidence in people. We've sorted ourselves out and know we can move on with him when he returns.

Then you add in the lost letter that could have been about it all, he might have been waiting for a reply to before thinking of coming back. As nothing came he sent this because he couldn't ring could risk you misunderstanding something. I doubt if it is too serious just a nuisances but he would not want to come back sick. He needs to come back standing on his own two feet … so you two can meet as equals and so can all his friends. And he needs to leave whatever has helped settled… done and dealt with."

Meg sighed and ran her fingers through her long black hair, which showed her unconscious anxiety and admitted. "I keep wishing I could have done things differently that day. Casey's right I should have just grabbed Mum and Dad and took them to him...to Ocean Drive…"

Paul interrupted her gently. "Meg, don't go there Ben wouldn't want you to and you don't know how your father would have reacted that day either. Ben understood it all that's why he left. No one could have guessed Benjy would turn against him and we know Maria had a hard time with him Christmas morning. It's also not surprising the boy's never talked about those two day to anyone I'm just pleased he seems to have settled with Claire and Josh."

Meg sighed and smiled remembering the news she'd had from them. "I know at least someone got love out of the whole episode … thanks for letting me dump this on you. I expect your wife is waiting for you."

Paul smiled knowing it had been difficult for her and said truthfully. "Yes, but that's okay and you know anytime you need an ear I and Kate will be there for you and nothing goes beyond us. I'm afraid it's still a waiting game but at least you know the first steps have been taken and it might only be a couple of months with more contact in between." Then to reassure himself he added. "Will you be all right?"

She nodded knowing she would be, so Paul got his things together saying. "Okay see you soon and try and get some sleep."

Meg let him out and then with her mind still churning slightly made her way to the kitchen passing the shelf where she kept Ben's photo … He was wearing a dark suit with white polo neck sweater and leaning against a door frame facing and towards the camera. He truly lived up to his reputation of tall, dark and handsome, even more so as his dark eyes were glistening and his smile showed his happiness and laughter just for her.

She ran her finger gently over the photo remembering she had been standing beside Casey as he took the photo. So she knew that smile was really just for and because of her. Then it had been her turn to have one taken and she could not stop laughing, so Ben had come up to her and kissed her with such a depth it stunned her. Casey had taken her photo just as Ben got out of shot … her eyes had sparkled and her smile had a slight 'oh' to it that only she and Ben really understood. She smiled to herself remembering other happy times they had together then suddenly wondered about those missing months in Seattle when he'd been without them and a shiver ran through her and brought her back to earth.

To her surprise she was in her kitchen holding an empty cup, she'd made and drunk her tea while she'd been deep in memories. She shook her head and washed the cup then checked the clock on the wall and realised just how late it was and knew she needed to go to bed. Passing the photo again she looked at it and said quietly. "Good night Ben, see you soon." She'd said good night to it… to him every night tonight it was different she knew she'd be dreaming of him knowing he was safe and would be home soon.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 **

As the first fingers of dawn started to chase the darkness out of the old porch at the Mission a bout of coughing broke through the traveller's dreams, which plagued his sleep and left him with a deep sense of sadness. Still lying on his side he controlled the coughing fit and started to realise there was something covering him as well as something comfortable under his head and body. Opening his eyes he saw the other bench, the walls and the archway into the yard. Moving his arm he found something wrapped round it and realised it was his coat and there was a blanket covering him. And he was lying on a mattress and pillow with his bag close to his chest.

Fully awake now he looked round and didn't know where he was or how he got there but instinct told him he was safe and he knew he could trust that deep feeling. As he sat up he untangled his arm from his coat, pushed back the blanket and automatically reached for his bag to get food. As he did so he noticed the tray on the other bench and stopped, looking at them for a long moment he realised the bowl etc were empty. He must have eaten before he'd slept and if food had been provided then, some would be provided again and someone knew he was there so he would wait.

Satisfied he didn't need anything from his bag he swung his legs from under the blanket so he could go out into the yard to deal with his other need. As his feet touched the cold hard floor surprise and shock stopped him and made him look down at them and he realised he was not wearing his shoes. Registering that fact he automatically opened his bag and found his shoes and cap on top and put them on. As he didn't need his coat he packed it in his bag and then stood in the archway and looked around the yard wondering how to take care of his 'need' and spotted the small building with a light on.

Studying the building he hoped answers would come … as nothing came he looked back to his bed and then over to the tray on the bench and studied them. After a moment tiny shivers ran through him and fleeting impressions started to form in his mind and then became clearer. They were of a young man in a dark suit and shirt with a narrow white collar and a woman in a grey suit. He recognised them as a Priest and a Nun and that they were nice and he'd felt safe with them but not who they were. The shivers increased slightly as he remembered the man telling him he could stay till his cough was better and the small building with the light on was a washroom which he could use.

With the knowledge gained and the need now urgent he knew what to do. Memories and shivering stopped as he picked up his bag, pulled the blanket over the mattress and walked over to the building. As he walked he noted the weeds and uncut hedge and knew he would deal with them as he recovered … work for food and shelter that's what he did.

Although he felt safe in the yard when he got to the washroom doorway he shivered violently with apprehension and unknown fear before his 'need' forced him to go in.

oxoxo

In spite of his late night and early start Father Antonio felt well rested as he carried the tray with a bowl of soup and bread through the Mission. He smiled knowing the traveller was just someone passing through and his twinges of recognition were guilt and that would be put right as his fellow brother would be home soon. The smile turned to a soft chuckle as he remembered Father Brown's smile last night while Sister Jane cheerfully gave him a late night report. "The traveller was not only a well-feed fast asleep pussy but rather a handsome as he slept with cap off." It wasn't just her words about the pussy or the cap being off as sleeping with cap on would have been difficult that made them smile. It was the fact they were realising she liked to 'mother' **all** her charges and this traveller was definitely going to be one of them. So instead of checking on his traveller he'd gone straight to bed promising he'd rise early and deal with breakfast in case the man wanted to move on or needed attention.

Though it would have been quicker to go to the yard via the kitchen porch he'd chose to take the same route as last night so a not to surprise the traveller and check the main gate just in case he'd left early and it open or meet him on the way out. Noting it was closed he continued round into the yard and stopped his musings and then slowed his walking … the yard had that empty stillness about it. There was no snoring or heavy breathing from the porch or the noise of running water from the washroom. Nor was the man sitting out in the yard enjoying the early sun after last night's rain.

Anticipating he might be too late Antonio checked the porch and saw the bed was empty and neatly made. He noted the empty tray from last night was still there so the traveller had not taken it over to the kitchen porch. He knew Sister Jane had left it there after she checked him in case the man woke and was disturbed to find it gone or woke without remembering anything and would realise someone knew he was around and cared for him.

He sighed and swore quietly under his breath knowing he could not call out to the traveller as he didn't know his name and shouting 'Hello are you there' sounded daft especially as it was likely he wasn't and could not necessarily answer back or might even be scared off by the call. Remembering the man's reaction to the washroom last night he decided to check and he put the tray on the bench.

Inside he found it was empty but the walls of the shower area were wet and there was a wet towel tossed untidily on the floor. Remembering the tidied bed Antonio reckoned the traveller had succumbed to fear and rushed out. He discounted blind panic because his clothes were gone and he was not in a heap in the porch or near the porch. Back outside he did a quick scan of the area just to check he was right and the man hadn't tucked himself against the Mission wall … he hadn't. He went back to the porch and picked up the tray deciding to walk over to the wall where they'd found the man last night, it was in the right direction and there was open space and hoped he'd not gone over the top into the bushes.

As Antonio walked he hardly noticed anything around him because he didn't want to spill the soup. In one of his quick glances up he spotted the man sitting on one of the benches instead of the wall and was looking out across the town and bay. And wondered if the view helped calm him in the same way it seemed to help grieving friends and relatives. He suddenly felt a familiar flip run through as well as excitement as he realised the man didn't have his cap on. But before any other thought took shape he had to look away and concentrate on the tray and its contents as he was stepping down from grass onto the gravel pathway which lead the to alcove area.

The crunching of the gravel was loud and the traveller put his cap on instead of looking round to see who was coming he sat very very still almost as if he hoped no one would notice him.

Managing not to spill anything Antonio carried on walking then gave a quick glance up and realised the stranger's reaction was a bit like a very young girl who had been playing a game of hide and seek with some older children a couple of days ago. Instead of going and hiding as they others did she stood where she was and closed her eyes tight, totally convinced that no one would see her as she could not see them and no one could convince her otherwise.

He also reckoned the cap was the traveller's wall against the world rather than just something to shade his eyes against the sun and knew he would need to take extra care not to frighten the man away. Before he got too close to the bench he said gently but clearly. "I see you're an early riser, I've brought you some soup and bread and you can have more or tea or coffee if you would like to come to the kitchen door and ring the bell. It's that porch by the tables." and then put the tray down on the bench.

"Fine" was just a whisper that ended in a coughing fit which sounded tighter than the ones Antonio had heard yesterday. When the coughing fit finished the traveller turned slightly to face him and without looking up pulled the tray towards him.

Antonio moved away a bit to give the man space, knowing someone standing over one could be intimidate and sitting down with him could also encroach on his private space and asked hoping to start a conversation. "You slept all right?"

The man nodded as he tucked into his soup and bread and Antonio realized that would be the only thing on his mind so he stood still and looked round the cemetery to see what work could be done later. Looking around he shook his head in amazement and guessed the traveller must have woken at the crack of dawn. Granted there was still a lot to do and the higher hedge would have to wait till that cough was better and he might need a helper even then. But the lower hedge and bushes were neatly trimmed and four of the graves were tidied and there were no cuttings or pulled up weeds to be seen. He reckoned they'd be tucked away in the half hidden compost area by the far hedge and the man would have looked around before starting.

That thought made him check on the tools needed for the job and he knew the man could not have had any in his bag. He spotted them and the coat the gardener usually used when he worked after it had rained or was chilly, and felt a shiver run through him. With a sinking heart he left the traveller eating his soup and walked over to the four graves that had been tidied and stopped at the furthest one and studied it. He then looked back at the traveller and understood why he'd run at the noise of the firecrackers and had found his way here … and didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

With emotions flooding through him he took a deep breath and let it out slowly and walked quickly over to the shed and checked the door then went back to alcove and sat on the wall so the view was behind him and he could ask questions and stop any escape in that direction. He reckoned the gate would slow the traveller up but most of all he didn't want any flight of fear but he needed his thoughts confirmed. And then hopefully he would by talking to him find a way into the man's closed mind.

He watched for a moment and then asked gently but casually, "How did you get the tools and coat?"

The traveller who was just going to take a spoonful of soup froze for a moment then without looking at him said "Just knew." in his emotionless husky whisper.

"Where the key was?" Antonio gently finished in a question hoping it would make the man explain where or just how he knew.

"Yes." was the immediate short reply.

Antonio saw his traveller tense up and finish his soup quickly almost as though he was expecting it to be taken away from him and what then be turned away. No he would not do that not now or ever and knew he had to reassure the man and said gently. "It's all right no ones going to ask you leave. You've do a good job thank you. Would you like to do some private gardens later … you'll get paid of course."

The traveller popped the last bit of bread in his mouth and nodded without looking in Antonio's direction as anyone else would have done.

Antonio felt stunned and frustrated … trying to get his traveller to talk was like wringing a slightly damp cloth in the hope of getting a large pool of water out of it. In a way he didn't need any more answers as to who he was. They'd been together when they first used the key to the shed all those years ago. It was when they had been close and happy brothers-in-law answering a plea for help from the Mission because their gardener was too ill to work and like now no one else was available.

With his mind racing with questions and emotions as well as desperately not wanting to frighten the stranger he carried on casually. "Fine, I'll make the arrangements and drive as well as stay with you so you'll not get lost." He just managed to stop the word 'again' that was on the tip of his tongue.

"Walk" Came out in a flat matter a fact statement.

Antonio sensed there was no sifting him and found it difficult to resist urge to whip the man's cap off and take him by the shoulders so he could really see him. Then hug him and tell him he was amongst friends and not a stranger amongst strangers or even a stranger to himself. But most of all he wanted to tell him he would be there for him this time….

Sister Jane's footsteps crunching on the gravel path and her cheery "Morning you two!" as she came towards them carrying the traveller's clothes broke Antonio's thoughts, urge and tension. He could not help smiling understanding her problem … the same as he'd had earlier…

Putting the clothes on the end of the bench next the traveller Sister Jane then stepped back Sister Jane and asked innocently. "What do we call you I can't just shout Hoy! Or Cooeee! Can I?"

The traveller stayed looking down and silent but tilted his head slightly to one side.

Though they could not see all his face his body language said he was puzzled and was closing down even more.

Antonio suddenly realized the man might not remember last night so said gently without any hint of reprimand or worry about repeating facts. "This is Sister Jane; you met last night when we gave you the bedding for the porch. She gave you food, something for your cough and you asked her to clean your clothes, which she has. I was with her I'd met you earlier on the beach and told you, you could stay here for the night and until your cough is better and longer if you want too. My name is Father Antonio Torres you called me Father though Antonio is all right as well."

The traveller sat still … the man's words felt familiar … comforting and he felt safe again. After a moment he nodded and said huskily, "Don't know, black outs" and stopped unable to explain any further.

"What happens if you are out and you need to find your way back home, base, shelter?" Antonio asked trying to ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach.

The traveller did not move for a moment then pushed the tray away from him and put his hand in his pocket and produced a handful of cardboard labels, which he handed over to Antonio, who had got off the wall and come over.

Antonio stepped back and looked at them there were five, some in better condition than others. They all had the words 'This man suffers memory black outs, not harmful just scared please return to or contact ...then an address and telephone number..."

In spite of the pain he was feeling Antonio could not help smiling remembering his conversation with Ricardo and wondered what message to give to Spencer. His smile disappeared as he remembered Ricardo's other conversation and knew he would have to act soon, but by doing so he could scare the traveller away or close him down and those were the last things he wanted to do.

His thoughts stopped as the traveller started coughing and was finding it difficult to stop.

"The medicine last night didn't help." Sister Jane asked unaware of Father Antonio's thoughts.

The man managed to control the coughing and shrugged his shoulders not really knowing the answer or how to explain.

"Hurts more?" Antonio asked getting concerned for his friend and wondering how they would get him treatment.

The traveller nodded and started to cough again.

Antonio knew what to do and said gently but firmly. "Okay the first garden will be the Doctor's he can look at you and wave his magic wand. Where is your bag I didn't see it with the bedding?"

Between coughs came the husky whisper, "Here." and the man moved his arm and pulled the strap so the bag moved. It had been by his legs so if he moved he could not miss it.

Antonio wondered if he did that instinctively and relied on touch sparking off the memory to grab it, realising it might be difficult for the man to keep it near him as he worked he said. "We can lock it up for you if you wish."

That brought a violent shake of the head and a grab at the handle with both hands.

Antonio immediately moved away so the man would not feel threatened and carried on. "It's okay to keep it with you; I'll not be long. Do you mind if we contact these people to tell them you are safe."

The traveller stayed silent giving only a slight shake of the head as he quickly packed his clothes into his bag, which he then slung on his shoulder as he got up and walked away from them.

Antonio shivered as he watched wondering if his friend knew they were there any more, and whether it was reaction to his words about the bag that had caused the shutting down of the small gap he had managed open. He wished he had checked him last night but nothing would have changed … his friend didn't know him. Sister Jane didn't know him as she was new to the area and Father Brown would have just kept Sister Jane in sight so as not to frighten the traveller if he had been awake. Antonio gave a gentle sigh and not wanting to voice what knew said. "Sister, watch him for me but not too close though."

She had been thinking about everything as she watched the traveller and voiced her thought as she answered. "I understand. You know it must be strange forgetting everything like that … I expect if I called him now he would not know me or what we were talking about."

Antonio nodded and said sadly, "Your right, but on the other hand he came here when he was frighten yesterday because he knows the Mission. We'll just have to hope if he leaves in a panic he'll come back again, hopefully that will not happen. I'll be back soon, call me or someone else if you need help I'll take the tray back and make sure the kitchen door is left open."

Sister Jane said with a smile. "As I said he's a pussy cat."

Antonio could not help the gentle laugh but knowing his friend's temper and said. "Yes but this six foot pussy cat has a suppressed memory that could mean he's a tiger when roused or scared, so don't forget that."

Sister Jane smiled and hearing something in his voice so took notice and said "Okay." and then sat on the bench to watch their traveller.

oxoxo

Antonio closed the door to his office and went over to the phone; he was not surprised to find his fingers shaking because his mind was buzzing with all the implications of what might have happened, including the worry of who had managed to write the email he'd read last night before he'd left his brother's house. It was so convincingly Ben.

He took a breath and calmed himself knowing for his friend's sake he would have to think of him as the traveller, the stranger and not Ben with loads of questions to be answered. And he had to be the calm Father rather than a 'brother' with emotions running wild.

After a moment he found the number he needed and felt a little better knowing that Ben was safe with them. As he dialled the number he knew he would be able to get advice on how to cope with the situation so when the phone was picked up he said cheerfully. "Tyus good morning to you"

And then smiled at the sleepy disgruntled. "Antonio it had better be good! I was on a day off. You know late morning lie in not a 6 am start!"

"Sorry, big favour."

There was a heavy sigh "That's not a good start!"

Antonio laughed. "You need your garden done."

There was a short silence then "That sounds suspicious my good Father, something like a favour for favour."

Tyus's tone had been lighter but still not letting him off the hook or taking the bait, so Antonio teased back. "You're a good Doctor.".

"Flattery, flattery … good Father... go on who's the patient and where is he or she." Tyus said with a resigned sigh, he knew he would do whatever it was.

Antonio admitted in a slightly more serious tone "That's the difficult part ..." and heard Tyus's gentle laughing interruption "Isn't always" as he continued. "He will be in your garden, **doing** your garden."

Tyus was silent for a moment then said. "Now, that sounds very interesting and a good ploy. Does he **know** I'm going to examine him, because the last time something like that happened, not in the garden I hasten to add, I ended up being the patient. …. The nurses promised a walk out if I ever became a patient again and **I** believe them."

Antonio could not help laughing; knowing how everyone liked and respected him and then went on seriously. "Well I'm only going by what I've seen so far, which is not much. He knows about it now, but whether he will by the time he sees you is a different matter. His memory seems to go when he blacks out and possibly when he sleeps. I think he might switch off sometimes as well because he's just walked away from us as though we did not exist. And I'm not going to ply him with questions to find out so I'm having him watched all the time. One thing though he might have a touch and remember memory he keeps his bag close to him and grabs it automatically when he gets up. Of course he might have just gone back to the gardening because he saw the state of it or the tools, I really don't know … he wears a cap and I can't see how much he can see."

He paused for a moment and from the silence knew Tyus expected him to carry on so did so. "We only get a few words out of him at a time, but I think he knows about the memory loss and that's why he does not have a name, I reckon that's why he does not talk much either. Mind you he's got a cough which is hurting him don't know how long he's had it and sounds worse than last night. But can tell you one thing for sure you've not got a hope in hell's chance of getting him inside a building such as a hospital; he just about makes in to the washroom to do the necessary and wash. He slept in the old porch here last night because it was raining and I suspect he would sleep in the yard if it's dry tonight."

Tyus's voice though serious had a slight a tease in it. "Thank you for your challenge, you did say mission impossible didn't you, I trust the phone will not disintegrate in five minutes. Okay back to business you want me to find out if he is shamming as well."

Antonio laughed knowing Tyus would help him. "Yes but I also want you to examine him closely."

There was a pause then Tyus said, "That sounds really interesting. I'm assuming you don't mean the under the microscope in little pieces."

Antonio smiled, "No ... as a person."

"Right, any hint why or do you want me to keep an open mind on something."

"Got it in one."

"Well, now you have woken me up I would like to have had breakfast by the time you've walked over here. ... Hey you're going to be fit." Tyus ended with a chuckle.

Antonio pretended to be hurt. "You can stop laughing Doctor I'm quite used to walking. See you in a while. … Just a thought your garden's not over looked is it?"

"No and my girlfriend's away on a course and I've got a talk to write up. See you soon."

Antonio put the phone down and looked at the clock then smiled hoping Cathy had woken her parents for her early feed. He dialled and waited for pick up and looked at the squares of cardboard on the table wishing they gave more information than local addresses and telephone numbers and hoped they were all close together in time and area and that being a gardener would account for the weathered tan.

"Ricardo, sorry to bother you." He said cheerfully.

"Antonio! The Mission been blown up!" Came the wide awake reply.

Antonio laughed and did a double check round the room half expecting people to jump out the walls as he started speaking because this time he would have to explain everything. "No got something that will make a big bang though and give you a huge puzzle to work out."

Ricardo sighed. "Okay you've got my attention bro especially as it is soo early in the morning."

Antonio ignored his brother's remarks and jumped in feet first. "Last night's e-mail to Meg is a forgery."

Ricardo's voice showed his surprise and concern. "Now why would you think that, we both looked at it and recognised Ben's style even if some of the information was personal?"

"My traveller is Ben. I haven't seen his face yet but everything adds up."

There was silence on the other end of the phone, and then Ricardo said slowly, "Okay ... What makes you think he did not send it earlier and then travelled here by train or road?"

Antonio rushed on with his thoughts. "I was with him while the sun was setting and I have cards with addresses on them which you can check … only let them do the talking and don't mention Ben's name, because he does not use a name…."

"**Okay** stop there!" Ricardo butted in sharply then carried on to calm his brother down. "This is a bit like you telling me my job little bro and with only half the information. It's a big help if you start at the beginning and that is you telling me why you think your traveller is Ben and could not send those emails. Gabi's not here at the moment so be quick."

Antonio guessed Gabi was dealing with Cathy and would get information later and tried to gather his rambling thoughts together. Talking to Tyus had been easier he hadn't needed the details. "First he has no memory … that's wrong, he does not consciously know Sunset Beach, but yesterday evening after the shock of the firecrackers going off he made his way to the Mission … therefore he has instinct memory, knew it was a safe place to go and got there. I think his other memory is suppressed rather than lost through accident, could be wrong of course but Tyus can check that.

He was up crack of dawn and did some gardening using things from the shed; no one mentioned or showed him where the key is hidden. He knew where it was from that session we did just after he married Maria. He tidied up the lower hedge and bushes and four graves one them was Derek's and he's put some of the flowers he'd trimmed from the bushes in a vase on it, the other graves were left bare. He could have put some on the others but didn't, and he must have take the vase from the stock we have in the shed or another grave of course.

When we found him here last night he was sitting in a place where grieving relatives go … he was there when I saw him this morning … he could be grieving for his twin. Possibly not fully realising it … have not asked about the grave yet might do later I'll see what Tyus says. I know I could be jumping to conclusions and he could have been just resting there and just enjoying the view."

He paused for a moment trying to find something concrete to give but as his brother did not jump in with questions he carried on hoping he was making sense, but also starting to see it could be one huge mistake. "Okay other reasons. You and I are people watchers, you know we pick up things other people don't, I know you by the way you move, walk etc. When he stretched to clamber off the rocks last night I thought of Ben, I know I've done that with other look-alikes but there was something in the few words he spoke that made it stronger and it only went away when you had that phone call from Meg.

He is slightly stooped so you don't see 'Ben' when he walks, he wears a baseball cap which hides his eyes and of course his beard and his longer hair mask the rest. **But** when I saw him briefly without his cap this morning I had that gut feeling back and it hit me full force when I saw Derek's grave.

I don't think he is hiding deliberately because there is nothing in his body language to suggest it and there's a passiveness about his day to day existence … I just wish I could see his eyes." He sighed in frustration and paused.

He hoped his brother would say something but just got silence so carried on again. "We have to be very careful how we approach him; his cough is getting worse so I'm taking him round to see Tyus, so he can garden as we chat and I've not told him who he is I though he could confirm or otherwise. You know you joked about return labels well it's been done; he has five of them all saying he has loss of memory and is to be returned to the given address or phone a number. Unfortunately none of them have town names or phone codes. None are dated either so it could have happened recently, but then there's his hair and the places could be shelters. One looks like a farm I'm hoping you can check them through Jude if necessary." Antonio stopped he had run out of steam and breath.

Ricardo stayed silent for a while as his mind picked up everything and tried to sort it out gradually realising his brother was waiting for his reply said slowly. "Okay ...You know you can be really bossy sometimes"

He heard a gentle snort from his brother and knew he had broken the tension his brother had been feeling, he also knew he had to throw in a warning and added. "You know of course if this is **not** Ben I'm taking you to Cedar Oaks for a short stay."

Hearing a huff from the other end he carried on. "**But** I trust your instincts even if it throws up a whole lot of questions about what he's been up to and who sent that e-mail. Thinking about that when you speak to Meg be careful, remember she was going over Ben's kidnapping with Paul last night. If he manages to trace a home for it I will send him out and he can hunt around for answers. Possibly find out if Meg's reply is hanging around."

Knowing his brother only too well he went on reassuringly. "Look we know Ben left Sunset Beach because he wanted to so don't feel guilty about that, whatever's happened was most likely to be recent. I expect there is a flat and a small business somewhere waiting for its tenant and boss to turn up and there will be a call from another police station as someone realises he's not around and calls it in.

As for that email … well it didn't ask for money so it could be someone he spoke to, possibly has a warped sense of humour, you know bit like Annie. Look the only other person who might have had such information is the man who kept Ben in Seattle. Doubt if he's around, not that we know what he really looks like as Ben's description was poor and according to locals he wore disguises all the time. We never found out how he was paid because Derek either hid it too well or did not pay him. Perhaps he heard about Ben not being here and decided to stir things up from a distance.

If that has happened we have the advantage of having Ben here, so let us do the worrying and searching while you just be there for him."

Ricardo paused for a moment and heard his brother's quiet "okay" then carried on. "I think its best if we keep it quiet till Tyus sees him and confirms it is Ben. You can of course bring him round and do our garden if you want another opinion. There's always Meg's garden to be done better check with Tyus about that one. Of course Hank's garden might be a better one Ben's familiar with it having been there before. **But **remember those two never truly got along no matter how hard Ben tried … having said that Hank understood his reason for leaving better than any of us so he might be the best one to try."

In spite of Ricardo's reservations Antonio felt better hearing him talk about what to do and said easily. "You know that's a big hint about your garden bro but don't count on a lot of information coming from Ben he only says a word or two at the best of times. Of course that could be just a phase he is going through, might even get better because he's back home. As you say I'll let you do the searching so I'll give you the addresses and phone numbers now and you can start tracing them in case I can't see you when he's at Tyus's."

Ricardo chuckled because he was just going to ask for them then said. "Good idea and I'll tell Spence you have a fragile traveller with you. Hang on a sec pen's not working. … ... Okay fire-a-way."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 **

Walking along the road Antonio pondered back to when he returned from his phone calls. He'd hoped to find his traveller working or sitting on the bench, instead he found Sister Jane sitting at the tables by the kitchen porch with the explanation her traveller had packed up and gone back to the yard without a second look for them. He could not help his smile at the 'her traveller' they'd both adopted the man regardless and they both went to the yard to find him. They found him sat huddled against the wall of the Mission, head down and bag clutched tight and Antonio could almost see the wall of silence around the man. Ignoring the silent, invisible 'keep out' sign he sat down close by so they could chat and Sister Jane found a window sill to lean against. Feeling slight worried he asked if he knew him and got a slight shake of the head so he quietly reintroduced himself and Sister Jane and where they were and what they were going to do, and realised just how fleeting the man's memory was.

Thinking about it again, he still was not sure whether the silent nod he got at the end of that lot was a 'yes thank I've got that but can't/don't want to talk' or an 'I remember now but still can't/don't want to talk' or just a nod because he'd stopped. The body language been nil and the man's head had stayed down.

Not wanting to just sit in silence or risk getting up and the man not following him he decided to talk some more and hope his voice would relax him and so described Dr Tyus Robinson in detail as in what he looked like, his manner and job and home address, but not that they knew each other in the past. As he'd talked he'd felt the man relax and knew by the end of it he would walk with him so they'd got ready to go and he'd told Sister Jane they would be back for lunch. But as soon as they walked through the Mission gates the traveller's invisible shield slammed into place as far as the outside world was concerned.

Now as they walked easily together in silence Antonio concluded his stranger was as complicated as his friend was and he decided to find out just how much local knowledge was lurking behind that silent shield. Ready to resume the lead if need be he casually slowed his pace so the man gradually took a slight lead, making him take the first step round the corner into a new road or cross one or even ask which direction to take … verbally or silently.

The silent traveller seemed accept the change without a fuss and walked steadily on not hesitating once. He knew which corners to take and where to cross the roads, though that gave Antonio several heart failures. The man did not look to check if the road was clear to cross just seemed to trust his instinct or hearing or complete faith the driver would slow. So rather like an anxious parent or 'older' brother Antonio found himself giving a warning word as they crossed, though in fact it was never really needed, they always made it nor was it acknowledged by the turn or nod of the head either.

He also noticed the man did not like large groups of people, who were luckily on the other side of road nor did he like loud vehicles when they passed. Both were greeted by a step closer to him which went back to the traveller being slightly in front when it was clear again. Antonio was greatly relieved that no vehicle back fired and no one let off firecrackers in the vicinity and hoped that would continue till they got to Tyus's house at least.

Although Antonio was now totally sure it was Ben beside him he knew he could not think of him in that way … not till at least Tyus told him what to do. He smiled as a police car came slowly by and the passenger police officer gave a nod and smile back. He knew the message had been passed on and wondered if they'd groaned when told, and what it would have been like if Ben's name had been mentioned. He also knew it wouldn't matter help would be given anyway and then he realised he was over the shock, there was instead curiosity and acceptance it would take time and knowledge and he could protect his traveller and brother now he was home.

He realised his traveller had slowed and smiled reading message in the man's the body language. "I've done my bit your turn now." He could understand the man's problem with his cap wedged over his eyes and reluctance to look up or around while walking there was no way he could read the number of the house now they were in the right road. So he accepted the lead with a shrug of the shoulders and a casual. "It's three houses down on this side, and we go through the side gate into the back garden."

oxoxo

As soon as Tyus saw the gate open he walked slowly towards them and called out. "Morning Father Antonio, put the latch on the gate so no one can come in please." and was going to introduce himself but was stopped by the traveller's coughing fit. He could not help his slight smile; this was just what he wanted to hear, a totally unforced performance. Listening to it he reckoned it was not a hospital case yet. Taking in the traveller himself, he noted the cap wedged well down over the face, the jumper, the bag on his shoulder and his slouch as well as the fact he was close to Antonio, possibly using him as a shield and knew this morning was going to be interesting.

When the coughing finished he said kindly, "Right, after that performance the gardening can wait, it's all very obvious and not urgent. Do you know if you are allergic to any medicines?"

There came a shake of the head to indicate 'No'.

"Do you know how long you've had the cough?" Tyus asked hoping for some reaction other than a shake or nod of the head.

There came another shake of the head.

Tyus gave an inward sigh, it was going to be a long job and he really wanted to hear the man's voice and see his face to gauge what was going on. He also realised he needed to give reassurance while telling the man he was going to get the answers, so toned his voice accordingly. "Okay we will keep it simple, go for the tried and tested drugs if they are needed, I've got some inside so that's no problem. Let's go over and sit at the table."

As they went over he explained what he wanted to do. "I need to check your pulse by holding your wrist, look at and hear your chest front and back so you will need to take your jumper off but you can lift your shirt up for me. I will also need to look down your throat and feel around your neck as well as look into your eyes. They will give me an idea of your overall condition but only when you feel comfortable about it, you can always tell me 'no' and I will stop. I would also like to know a bit about your history, what you remember. My name is Doctor Tyus Robinson have you any idea of yours."

Observing the traveller as he spoke Tyus noted he'd chosen the chair away from the house and had moved it a little further from the table so there was a clear line of exit to the gate. He also saw the man's bag come off his shoulder and was leant against his leg with one hand resting on the handle, which meant if he took flight he either grabbed the handle or tripped over the bag. And it had all been done automatically so the man's sub conscious mind must pick up the information around him and use it. Taking this into consideration he wondered if the traveller had been trapped in some way either physically or mentally so needed an escape route in order to feel comfortable. If so he would have to be careful not to disturb the quietness around him and trigger that flight response because he doubted he would get him back into the garden or see him again if he did.

While waiting for a reply Tyus sat down and leaned across so he could hold the traveller's wrist to check his pulse as he'd just explained he would.

The man's quiet husky "No" and accompanying shiver surprised Tyus. He'd hoped for a longer answer but now knew they were working with a talking and thinking blank sheet. He also knew the shiver was not an adverse reaction to him checking for the pulse, the hand had not been snatched away. And wondered if the man somehow recognised the examination and trusted it, still carrying on he nodded his silent acknowledgement. Knowing full well everything would be a darn sight easier if the man lost the cap so he could see his face and eyes … but that was life and nothing was easy.

Having finished checking the pulse he then felt around the man's wrist and hand gauging the state of them and then did the same to the other one and felt a buzz of recognition. Trying to stay casual he glanced across at Antonio, who sat down, and got a blank expression but saw the twinkle in his eyes and thought '**you little devil**' and understood the tone of their phone call.

Quelling his own feelings of excitement and apprehension he looked back at the hands resting on his with total recognition and recall. They had not been so weather beaten or hardened then but there was no mistaking the very faint scar line on each wrist. He had bandaged them when they were cut and sore after the first kidnapping and had then fought hard to save the man's life when his heart stopped through shock and ill treatment. And now… that same man sat next to him a stranger to them and to himself by the looks of things.

Tyus silently moved his hands away and moved back into his seat so the man would not sense anything amiss. Then silently released the breath he'd been holding and let his mind get over the shock while working out what to do. They needed to hear him speak to get the final confirmation Antonio obviously needed and then work on getting those barriers down and find out what happened. Looking at the man he said easily. "Okay, pulse rate is a little fast. I take it you walked here?"

He got a slight nod and knew he would have to go for the other option to get recognition, even though it might be difficult and take time. But they had all day because neither of them were going to let this man go anywhere without confirmation of who he was or alone. Making sure his voice was gentle but firm he said. "I need to look into your eyes … you can put your cap back on after if you wish. No one is going to see or disturb us as the gate and front door are locked. You are safe here with us."

For a long moment there was no response from their traveller, though Tyus could feel the man's his eyes on him in spite of the cap and lowered head, and hoped he was giving a friendly picture and the earlier shiver had been some recognition of their past. Though the impression could be the wrong one, after all the man had nearly been killed and kidnapped from his hospital bed while under his care, so there might not be any trust there. But on the other hand he was here with Antonio so there must be trust coming through somehow.

Their patience was rewarded because the traveller's head came up and he slowly removed his cap then sat silently blinking as his eyes got used to the daylight before looking back down at his cap which he held in his lap.

Feeling the excitement and apprehension running through him again Tyus gave the man a gentle reassuring "Thank you". And glanced across at Antonio who'd given a near silent sigh and had a hint of a smile as he nodded as if confirming what they both saw.

They knew the face of their friend though he looked different having the beard, they'd also seen no recognition from him of them. In fact Tyus knew some would say 'there was no one home at the moment' because there was no curiosity in his eyes or body language either, he just sat passively waiting. But Tyus knew the real man was buried and not completely gone because he'd seen as their glances met for a fleeting second a flicker of trust.

Understanding that his friend had unconsciously put his foot on the first rung of the ladder back to them he was more than ready to back off if need be. So, picking up the penlight that was on the table with his other instruments he said gently. "I need to shine this light in your eyes so I can check them. Can you look up and try not to blink. Best thing to do is to look past the light but straight at me."

The traveller immediately looked up at him and waited.

Tyus examined both eyes and was pleased they were clear and healthy then keeping all emotion out of his voice except his doctor tone said. "They are healthy and clear if you would slip your jumper off and lift the front of your shirt I'll listen to your chest. I want you to take a breath then let it out slowly to a silent count of 5 then give a cough do it twice, one each side. Do you understand?"

The man nodded, took his jumper off and put it beside his bag but still held his cap in one hand and held his shirt up and let Tyus work. Each time he coughed Tyus could hear the tightness and saw the slight flinch of pain on the last one; it was not too bad but would get worse quickly if not treated and asked. "If you could lean forward slightly so I can check your back please. Antonio, could you come round and help a second."

Tyus lifted the man's shirt and stopped and looked at Antonio who had come over as asked neither said anything knowing questions and answers might come later. Tyus then listened carefully as the traveller breathed and coughed as he had for the front, then with a nod to Antonio to let the shirt go he said. "Okay, thanks, now I would like to check your throat and glands, also your head for any obvious injury that might cause you to black out or the loss of memory. Then I'll get you a drink."

Tyus checked everything noting the throat was a bit sore and the glands were up slightly but not enough to cause trouble and knew it was just a bad chest. There were no obvious signs of head injury either which was good and unconsciously nodded that fact to himself and said. "Be back in a moment." and went inside.

Walking away he noticed the man was looking at the table and not around the garden nor had he shown any anxiety at not being told anything about his findings or what drink it was to be. He reckoned that talk button was going to be hard to find. But not out of character really, his friend had been quiet at the best of times, but always asked questions if necessary.

Once in the kitchen and out of sight Tyus gave a chuckle of relief and a deep breath, he knew this was serious but manageable and far more interesting than writing his speech. As he got the things he needed he mulled over what to call his friend. The man was a stranger to himself; to them he was a friend with a name or a traveller or a patient. To just call him by his name or any name would be wrong unless he knew and recognised it. The problem there was they would need to use it to find out and that could trigger that flight or shut down or nothing at all or of course a 'Hi' and a big hug but he seriously doubted that. Sighing he put the drinks on the tray and went back out knowing that he had to stay focused be the doctor not a friend with a history and expectations. And Antonio would the 'Father' not close friend or brother as well, which he was doing very well and wondered just how long he had known the man's identify, would have liked a chat with him now but knew that was not going to happen.

He put the tray on the table and sat down beside his patient, surprised and pleased the cap and jumper had stayed off even if he was still looking at the table and not around. He wondered if he'd forgotten about them or felt safe and relaxed enough to not need them if they were his shield. It was warm enough even though it was still early and there was a slight cloud around. Knowing he needed eye contact with his patient if he was going to break down any more barriers he looked at him as he said firmly but gently. "Right, grab a cup of tea if you want one. The cough is not too bad. I would normally like a chest x-ray but I understand from Father Antonio you don't like being inside buildings. Do you know why?"

"No. Feel bad in them." Came without hesitation but was husky flat emotionless whisper and he didn't look up at Tyus.

Tyus saw the flicker of surprise race across Antonio's face and guessed it might be the number of words spoken, knew it was a good sign and asked. "Do you blackout when you are in them?"

That got him a silent blank look.

Tyus guessed he'd won one and lost the other. He could at least see his patient's face, even if that blank look disturbed him a little. He took several sips of his drink to not only give the man a hint about drinking, but also so he could work out how to get round the blockage about answering questions. He considered it briefly then said. "Okay. You tell me what you remember and feel."

After looking at Tyus the man then looked at the table before easing forward and taking the cup and started to drink taking his time between sips.

Tyus carried on drinking slowly and watched him pondering if they had been forgotten or perhaps he could only concentrate on one thing at a time, then again it might be the switch off Antonio had mentioned on the phone. And, they had over loaded the system all ready. He put his cup down and glanced at Antonio and saw he was also drinking while keeping his eye on the man and tried to hide his smile.

His attention was brought back to his patient by the husky. "Tea's nice. Feeling sick giddy darkness emptiness flashes or threads don't always make sense, most go on waking. One always comes and stays though." The words had come out with hardly a pause between them and the voice like the eyes were emotionless.

Listening and watching Tyus wondered if the tea might have been a trigger of some kind. He had made it just how his friend liked it, though he had been tempted to put sugar in just to see the reaction and had rejected it; he needed the man's conscious and unconscious trust more. But he'd notice the drink had been accepted with passive acceptance and he needed the man's curiosity so he could break down the barriers. The list of words intrigued him and definitely needed filling out to make sense and wondered if memory triggers were starting to work, he'd trusted Antonio and the Mission because deep down he knew them and now he trusted him here because he knew his voice and touch...

He was startled out his musings by the words and the change in voice; though husky it had his friend's gentle English accent, but otherwise the man remained emotionless. "Ducks on a large pond or small lake with geese and trees nearby, the sun is shining and a girl about 7 years old with long curly brown hair tied back in a pony's tail sits beside me on a bench, the book she's reading to me has pictures and words."

There was pause which made the listeners wonder if that was it, but it wasn't he carried on without looking up. "Then I see her lying on my lap, my arms around her, her eyes closed as though asleep but I know she's not … she's hurt. Some men in uniforms gently take her away from me … my head and back hurts and I'm resting against a car's wheel on the roadside, nearby people are standing … talking ..."

He paused again and shivered then looked up at Tyus knowing only he had to carry on. "It leaves me feeling sad, I sure she's dead but I don't know if I caused it or could not stop it … and I know those people … but not any more … only that I did. I don't understand it." He stopped to take a breath and blinked.

Tyus felt stunned by what he heard and by the sadness he could feel coming from the man. As the man had shivered he could see something was going as if he was going back into himself and was losing the memory and reckoned those were what he called threads. Memories lost at night and blackouts….

The traveller spoke again his voice was still husky but flat and emotionless like his expression had been. "Very little stays with me, so I have no idea of time, only that something has passed. Sometimes everything is through a haze - people, words and gardens and I can't speak, so I keep to myself. All I know is I must have my bag with me it's precious and tells me what to do and the cards will get me back if I'm lost … but I don't know where."

Again he paused but looked at Antonio for a long moment then said still in the same flat husky voice. "Felt different on the beach ... heard and saw you … running, darkness and woke at the Mission ... feel safe there." He looked back at Tyus and carried on. "I forget things without darkness. I know I trust you and Father but not why." then turned his head away as he started to cough again.

Tyus could see Antonio's stunned expression and knew it most probably mirrored his own; for a man of few words this was an out pouring of information. Something that inner person had to push out … before it was … what … forgotten again … which meant it was important to him. A clue for them perhaps and given his history a child getting injured could have pushed him over the edge, but not keep him there, because he'd come back to them for help.

Trying to stay in doctor mode rather than friend and protector Tyus shook out a couple of pills and then pushed the glass of water across to him. When the coughing fit ended he said firmly but gently. "Take these two now and I'll give Father Antonio the rest, they will break that cough up and ease it. You need them three times a day and from tomorrow onwards it will be just one tablet each time. I suggest you have meals at the Mission and that will secure the link in your mind." He paused for a moment and got a nod of acceptance as well as the taking of the pills. Though he noticed his friend hesitated and looked at the pills before taking them.

As he carried on Tyus hoped his voice would open that door again as well as reassure the man. "They are just for your chest and will not make you drowsy or anything. You are not going daft you are reacting to a shock of some kind. The flashes and threads as you call them are your suppressed memories breaking through. Possibly as you sleep if you call darkness night time and they will be confusing if sound and vision don't match up and if you can't find a reference point when you wake. The blackouts and other darkness if not at night could be because your mind doesn't want to remember something or it's a safety let out because things have got too much for you.

You obvious felt attached to the child might have got to know her for while. But you don't have the whole picture as to what happened. It's coming back in pieces so you will have to wait to know what happened … its in past so you can't alter it you have to accept it. You could have hurt your head and back then and as you don't like buildings refused treatment, possibly ran off so you've lost where it happened. She could be all right and you feel sad just because you don't know the whole picture and you can't go back to find out as you don't where it happened.

We know you want to remember because it's the first thing you've told us and you've done that because you trust us. Don't rush things just let them happen, you are safe at the Mission. We will help you piece things together and find out what happened. I don't suppose you remember talking about it with anyone else or talking at all."

There came a quiet flat. "No"

Tyus was disappointed by that and realised he'd phrased it wrong but didn't want to go back in case he confused his friend with too many questions. As the man was looking back down at his cap Tyus wondered if they'd lost him and if they had, he would remember their conversation. He decided to try a different track … give a bit of information and see what happened. Because if memories were being triggered by familiarity it would be better to have something happened here than on the road back to the Mission.

So watching for any sign of trouble he said gently. "You say you trust us but you don't know why. We are from your past and a past you don't need to worry about. Father Antonio was and is a close friend, I'm your doctor and you lived here in Sunset Beach for many years. That's how you know the Mission and how to get to it last night and feel safe there. We will answer your questions but will not fill in all the gaps … you need to remember them yourself. If you lose any information we will retell it to you and it will gradually stay and help your memories or threads. Antonio will stay with you if you want to travel away from the Mission in case you blackout or panic or forget where you are."

Both saw a violent shiver run through their traveller and when he looked up he looked around the garden and then back to Tyus and though his expression and voice was expressionless his words were a statement not a question. "You wanted gardening done."

Tyus smiled and knew something deep down in the man had pulled the plug; he had had enough, which was fine and so said pointing things out. "Yes please, the tools are over there, the lawn needs cutting and new flowers put in the border as well as tidying them up and trim the bushes but leave the hedges till that cough is better. You need to rest to get rid of that cough, so don't rush and it also means you sleep in the porch tonight even if it is a dry night."

"Fine." Was the short husky reply.

Antonio knew his friend had shut down and gave a slight nod, which he knew Tyus had caught.

They silently watched their traveller tuck his cap in his waistband and as he moved to get up knock his bag, which made him bend over and pick his jumper and bag up. As he walked towards the flowerbed he let the jumper drop so it was between him and the gate, the bag stayed either on his shoulder or close by his side as he worked.

When their traveller was out of hearing Antonio and Tyus looked at each other and smiled and with a gentle shake of his head Tyus said seriously. "Okay, he's Ben Evans and **you** Father Antonio need to talk to me I **need **to know everything" though he emphasised the next words there was a lightness about it as well. "Especially when you knew he was Ben."

Antonio gave a quiet gentle short laugh; his feelings were mixture of relief and pain for his friend, because it looked as though life had dealt him an unfair hand again and said. "Okay, I admit I thought he was Ben when I phoned you, sort of 95 sure but had not seen his face because of that cap or heard his voice properly. But I can tell you one thing you've touched his talk button as I only got a couple of words out of him though his body language is good. Also Meg received an email from Ben which I don't think he could have sent if he was in this state yesterday. Back to my meeting him I was walking on the beach mind my own business ……………..

When he finished Antonio let Tyus look the cards he'd been given and then fired questions at him. After while they both fell silent and watched their friend work till Antonio asked quietly. "What do we do from now on?"

Tyus smiled said. "Make him safe and wait and see. This loss of memory is a problem especially as it is still slipping but it should stay eventually there is no time scale. You could almost say he's split in two and having an argument with himself and doesn't know it."

At Antonio's expression he added. "Bit like looking at a cake, wanting it but wondering if you are going to like or not and weighing up the pros and cons before taking a bite. Deep down part of him wants to come out tell us what happened the other doesn't so is blocking it. I reckon being around us has started a crack in that barrier and he's chucked us a very vague starting point. A point of pain, it won't go away. The girl is obvious important to him and hopefully the threads or memories will get bigger then we'll get the whole picture and I'm praying it will be good news if not we will help him through it.

As to why he closed down and moved on rather than face it. Well he was attached to Benjy but lost him in angry circumstances and he seems to have lost the girl in an accident. Both short and sharp losses and so he closed down, he said he hurt his head suppose he was knocked out in the accident and woke up in hospital total confused. The histories blurred and not recognising the hospital or people in it or even possibly seeing the hospital as a threat given his history he left. Once away from there he couldn't remember where to go back to so kept on walking unknowingly trusting his instincts which have guided him back to us. He is a natural survivor.

Being left out in the hospital or at the site of an accident is easily done; the parents of the child would be with the child or rest of the family if she died. We don't know time scale could have been hours or less, he might have only known her hours. Perhaps he met her at the pond and then the accident and that bit made a strong impression that has stayed with him. Of course he could have caused the accident and walked away from it his mind closing down in pain again instinct brought him back to where he was known and now he needs it all cleared up. If they know his name the police will be close on his heels so it must be recent.

He paused for a moment as he saw Antonio's raised eyebrows and gave a shrug of his shoulders and carried on firmly. "I know conjecture **but** one thing's for sure he's not going to Cedar Oaks and the good Doctor there. Ben was not too keen on her in the first place he's not going to be now. He needs to be in safe familiar surroundings and that's the Mission and he could come here again as he's opened up here. Of course we can't take this openness for granted, you've had to introduce yourself several times and when he's not talking he's totally shut down. Unfortunately this might be the norm for a while.

Antonio nodded and sighed knowing that made sense but didn't like it, he'd hoped Ben would keep on opening up here and now.

Tyus added reassuringly. "Hopefully Ricardo can get something from the cards, might get something about the girl especially if it was recent, could still be going through the works. Regarding the state of his hands as a guide well over a month but then he could have been working as a gardener in a proper job before he became a traveller. He's not up to his old bodyweight but that doesn't mean much as we do know how well he's been looking after himself. Not even going to think about the email till Ricardo's dealt with it and nor should you."

Tyus paused for a moment knowing it was a lot to take in and he needed Antonio's attention for the next bit, when Antonio nodded to say he was ready he smiled and continued. "From what you say about the firecrackers and finding him at the Mission I'd say you have about ten minutes before he actually blacks out when something shocks him or he over loads. Of course its possible that if he knows he is safe where he is he'll blackout instantly knowing you'll pick up the pieces."

At Antonio's quiet huff he smiled and added. "What you need to do is to stay with him till he comes round and take it from there, try not to move him its better if he wakes where he fell. From what you say I expect he'll find somewhere safe and go to sleep rather than fall in a heap. So watch be aware if he suddenly looks around for somewhere to sit down find somewhere safe for him not too public. If it's a firecrackers or car back firing you'll know the cause immediately otherwise if could be difficult to find it why he did it." then he added with half a smile. "Just try and make sure it's not in the middle of a busy road."

In spite of the thought Antonio smiled and nodded and then asked cautiously. "His back?"

Tyus sighed nodded and said slowly. "Yeah, now that is interesting." He paused for a moment's thought then carried on "I suppose I can talk to you under confessional silence."

Antonio nodded and said. "Yes, like your Doctor confidentiality it will stay between us no one else."

Tyus gave a slight smile, nodded and said. "Okay, though I think Ricardo might need to know so use your judgement. After Ben's first kidnapping he came see me to told me to check him over to prove he was Ben, then asked for a quiet check up every six months or whatever timing I though best. But he didn't want it too frequent or a set date in advance nor was I to write anything down about it. I was to call him in and was not to accept any refusal such as board meeting etc he would cancel and come. If he made an excuse of any kind I was to get Meg and everyone he cared for safe and call the police and get him to the hospital for the check up. I was to deal with it according to circumstances as they arose.

He wanted a quiet safeguard because they didn't find Derek's body and he knew Meg was worried so could not tell her about it. He had after all reassured her that his brother and could not have survived that fall but he wasn't sure he had survived by grabbing a branch. I must admit I learnt a few swear words as I caught him in difficult moments but no one was any the wiser because I managed to get him rather than anyone else when I called the Ocean Drive or The Deep or Liberty Corp. Because my diary got full quickly I used to mark the appointment with a red square but no names I did the same for dentist or time off so my secretary was used to the system. Anyway I had the choice of two dates one at the end of August or first week of September which I would have been moved to a bit later as he would have been away that week."

He paused for a moment sighed knowing Antonio had caught the significance of it and then carried on. "I tossed a coin it came down for August so I called him in, he was down and confused about what was going on, missed Meg like crazy but knew he had to respect her wishes and was wondering if he might go away to sort things out once and for all. His back was clear then so the two scars are after that.

I wish I chosen September or at least had him back in after the trip … and then I was not there for him Christmas Eve because I was out of town till my late shift … by morning it was too late."

Antonio nodded and said gently. "Not your fault, like the rest of us we thought he had made his own choice to stay with Maria and nor was Christmas Eve. I know what you mean I keep feeling I should have been there for him earlier on and spotted and done something after all Meg was worried about him. But I also know how unwise that could have been for him and all of us, we know Derek kills when cornered. We have accepted the way things happened and our part in them so did he, at least we can both be there for him now what ever happens."

Tyus smiled "I know and I've accepted it. But now it looks as though he's been kicked again and as you say we will be therefore for him. So, you can ring me at any time day or night my secretary will give you priority when I'm at the hospital and I will need to call in and see him again to check his chest anyway but we can deal with that later.

Regarding his back one scar is older than the other and I reckon one is a whipping scar possibly given by Derek to subdue him. Prove that he had power over his twin and it would also make sure he did not try any escape too early. I'm guessing knowing Ben he was not an easy prisoner either through trying to escape or talking to his jailer.

The other looks more recent because it goes across the old one; it's a bit wider but not as deep as the other, possibly snagged it on sharp piece of metal somehow. It might have taken a while to heal properly, its age is difficult to gauge as its covered most of the time but not within the last month. Timeline for how long he's been on the road well that depends on what shelter he found as I said he's a little underweight and we don't what he did before could have been a gardener. Length of hair could mean he wanted to be completely different from who he was before. As for the chest well its nothing complicated could have just flared up from a tickle in a day or so or it could have been hanging around for a while and just reached its peak.

Regarding his brother's death and the past I'm sure he's accepted it other wise he would have wrecked the grave not tided it. So we must be ready to move on with him and not dwell on the past, having said that he might feel guilty about the months he's been gone once he has his sense of time back, but we can get over that." He paused to make his next point then added. "He's talking to me as his or a doctor but he trusts you completely Antonio."

Antonio was trying to take it in and shook his head slightly and said what he felt. "It's strangely unnerving, I know this man and yet he is so much a stranger to me … two people in one body, and he sees me as a stranger not just once but each time we meet so how can you say he trusts me?"

Tyus said gently understanding his confusion; he found it the same in some respects. "He followed you when you called him on the beach, anybody else he would have walked away once he got his things. He's a stranger among strangers, to himself and a stranger amongst friends … could be like that for long time. Could also wake up tomorrow and be Ben with all his memories and guilt about the gap to go with it. Till then we do as I said earlier so it's a little different from what you did for Maria. I'm hoping he is now unconsciously processing what has happened so far might even come back for more information in moment or tomorrow we will see. It's important we don't push our memories and emotions onto him that is the same as Maria. The first lead comes from him and our replies unbiased as possible, if we are not sure we tell him if he asks for nudge we give one as I did earlier."

Antonio nodded then asked. "What about meeting Meg and Maria. He saw Meg yesterday there was nothing there no chemistry between them, mind you the firecrackers did not help but he must have ran straight to the Mission … possibly used the narrow alley as a short cut." He stopped and looked at Tyus hard and then continued slightly amazed. "You mean that even if we had not met he would have turned up there because unconsciously he expected me to be there."

Tyus nodded with a slight smile, seeing the penny drop as to how much Ben trusted him and confirmed it by saying. "All most certainly. On the beach he unconsciously recognised you and followed you, you recognised his body language he was talking to you even though he didn't know it. Think of it, who better to come to for help … you've never gone against him in the past and from what I understand you were close before Maria's drowning. When you returned here you supported him and his friendship with Meg in fact you became her friend and was willing to marry them."

Thinking it over Antonio realised Tyus was right the Mission would have given Ben protection from the outside world till the time was right. Though it sounded a lot he never lost his friendship with Ben, he found it daunting though to think if he'd not been there when Ben called what might have happened. Then smiled knowing Sister Jane would have tucked him under her wing even if she was shorter and younger.

Tyus's voice brought him back. "As for the Meg and Ben relationship that it might need a trigger or careful handling as it could be part of the problem. She asked him for time and he gave it her but not as a rejection he wanted her to find their future home and look after his fortune. As you and Hank suggested once away from here he might have found it harder to return, was returning and then this accident whatever happened. Who knows we need more information and that will take time. As for his dislike of buildings well, that could be from his time in the basement we know very little about only that he was kept in chains and he and his keeper had arguments."

For a moment they watched their traveller finishing the first flower border and realised time was passing as well as what a good job he was doing. Antonio could not resist the thought and asked in a light voice. "Well Doctor Robinson can you tell me for our readers what's it like having a multi millionaire for a gardener."

Tyus chuckled then looked at his friend and said gently knowing what he meant in his tease. "Well Father Torres what is it like having a multi millionaire traveller at the Mission." Antonio nodded and laughed as Tyus continued. "Yes people are going to feel it, but once over the shock they will be pleased to have him back safe and sound like we do. Well, sort of sound and yes I think Bette's going to put weeds in her window boxes just so he can pull them up."

Antonio laughed and said, "There are a lot of gardens that need doing apart from Meg's and Hank's. Ricardo gave me a big hint about his and that will get bigger after I see him. I know Meg is working this afternoon so I was wondering about Hank's Ben knows the garden and perhaps that would give him a trigger into the family … I'm assuming we should tell them as soon as possible."

Tyus laughed. "I think we should try and let this out slowly, could be wise to see if Ricardo can arrange to have the police told in case he runs. You're right about Hank's garden being a good start, might get Meg there in the background. Let her be introduced if things go smoothly warn her not to get emotional, he'll not understand the implications and get confused or of course he might recognise her and start chatting.

He's not likely to want to just sit around and do nothing and the drugs might pull him down tomorrow rather than today so let him stay at the Mission this afternoon and if Hank is around early evening let Ben see the garden and do some light work with a view to going back another time. Of course he might just want to roam the streets and beach and there's no way we are going to be able to tie down him in one... Oh that's such bad use of words, but you know what I mean."

Antonio gave a smile and nodded as Tyus carried on, both realising words would trip them up and everyone would have to accept that. "People might not recognize him straight away with his hair, beard and slouch; he will most probably wear his cap till he feels comfortable I'm surprised he's not wearing it now."

"You told him he was safe here and I think he trusts you as much as he does me other wise he wouldn't have said what he did." Then he added a little bit worried. "I sort of recognized him yesterday surely that would mean others would as well."

Tyus nodded then said gently, "That's because you were subconsciously looking for him you've been doing that ever since he left and you felt you let him down. If it had turned out to someone different I would have been asking you some serious questions, though I don't know about marching you off to Cedar Oaks as Ricardo would have done."

At Antonio's snort of a laugh he added. "You weren't sure till this morning and you were close to him. Normally people just see the familiar outlines, his slouch protects that and his jumper will put people off. Of course that's a good way to recognise him if he gets lost so don't discourage it." he was laughing at that as Tyus carried on. "You can slip out and see your brother and do some work I'll watch him, got that speech and paper work to do. He should take a couple of hours to do that lot; use the front door there is a spare key on the table by the door."

Antonio got up to go saying. "Thanks I'll see Ricardo and tell him we have a mystery on our hands, the police already know about my traveller but not who and I need to see a parishioner as well as ring Meg, Hank and Father Brown."

Tyus nodded at the list and said. "Tell Hank I will ring him later and remember Meg has to be careful not to let her emotions get too much. He'll probably ignore her, which could be devastating for her and tell them to keep it within the family circle for now. It will leak out soon enough knowing this place. The phone is in the hall." Then he added with a smile. "**Hell **she is going to be pleased."

"Oh I think pleased is going to be the understatement." Then Antonio smiled as he added wickedly. "That is after she's shouted at him for leaving her of course."

Tyus chuckled then added seriously. "There is always the possibility he might not want to stay with us but we will cross that bridge when we come to it. Just don't let her get too carried away."

Antonio nodded then said confidently. "He came back to us that say he wants to stay, surely."

Tyus nodded. "Yes could be but we must not assume the obvious. Go, he will be all right but if I get into trouble I will page you I've got your number."

"Okay the house call should not take too long it's nearby but I must do it." With a last look back at the traveller he went into the house.

Tyus watched for a moment noticed their traveller looked back at the house as if sensing one was missing then went back to work quite happily. Having no other diversion he settled down to do his paper work he'd deliberately left on the table so he would not have to leave their traveller alone.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 **

With a mixture of suppressed excitement and apprehension Antonio dialled and waited, as soon as the phone was answered he recognised the speaker and asked. "Meg are you busy?"

Meg replied brightly. "Good morning Antonio, we've got two customers and three staff so no we are not busy. Surely, you've not found a gardener for us all ready."

Her happiness was infectious and Antonio replied lightly "Well sort of," then paused and became serious as he carried on, "but I need a quiet word with you and you might want to sit down and try not to scream as I tell you."

Meg felt the handset shake in her hand, ever since she had woke up she had been suppressing ripples of unexplained excitement and uncertainty because there was nothing different happening today. She'd convinced herself that it was reaction from the frill of completing the garden centre deal mixed with relief that Ben was coming home and the dreaded stock taking etc had been successfully completed and was actually correct. But now with Antonio's words it was rushing through her in waves rather than ripples hence her hand shaking and she couldn't understand why.

While walking over to the window corner seat, which was out of everyone's way when they needed to be served, she took a deep breath and let it out slowly trying to calm herself and clear mind. Sitting down, she unconsciously gave a little shake of her head and then ran her free hand through her long dark hair brushing it away from her face, before nestling the handset against her ear, then taking a smaller breath said. "Right, I'm sat down and the others are well away, so go ahead."

Antonio sighed at the worry in her voice and said gently. "Right, it's about Ben."

Meg gave a very quiet "Go on" her stomach flipping with fear but her mind was telling her it was not all bad - Antonio's voice had a happy-serious tone so Ben was not dead. If he had been he would be there beside here not on the phone and suddenly heard his words through her thoughts.

"You know the traveller with ..." That was as far as Antonio got.

As soon as she heard the word traveller Meg felt as though the world exploded and just about managed to control the exclamation "**Noo!**" as it burst from her mouth, so it died in whisper and as far as she knew had not drawn attention to herself.

Antonio smiled and shook his head, because that was definitely a 'yes' kind of 'no' and not a 'no' of disbelief or despair either, and said quickly and gently so she would understand. "Yes, but there is a problem."

Meg's mind flashing back to yesterday evening and the traveller she had hardly noticed and yet she knew she must done deep down because that buzz she had just now was satisfied. But the excitement was still there so everything came out in a quiet rush. "He had two arms, legs and a head if I remember rightly. Oh yes, a ghastly jumper but that's fine we can change that, and I forgive him the time lapse we..."

Antonio knew he had to put the brakes on and interrupted firmly. "Hold on Meg. He does not remember anything at all."

The words hit her hard and she exclaimed without really thinking who she was talking to. "**Oh Hell!** **Not a Maria!**"

Antonio smothered the laugh he felt at her exclamation of despair and went on to reassure her. "No, it's different in some ways but in one way it is the same we can not push our emotions onto him we have to stand back as he did for her…"

Was interrupted by Meg's hurried gasping apology. "Oh, I'm sorry I didn't mean…"

Antonio said gently "It's okay Meg it was one of my thoughts as well. Where as Maria's mind was umm … blank in her memories his mind is a bit like a jigsaw possibly due to a shock. We think he has all the pieces …though he might not know which side is right side at the moment. Can't find the whole picture as he's away from the area and people who could help. It seems his mind tries to sort out it out at night as he sleeps but when he wakes they are suppressed so he can carry on with the basics of life. Tyus reckons he found the Mission because he subconsciously knows he will be safe and be given the space to recover from whatever happened. That's where we come in … we can gently guide him so he can put those pieces back in the right place, though Ricardo will be needed to find out what has happened over the past months."

He gave a sigh as he carried on knowing the hurt this could cause and hoped she would not jump to the wrong conclusion. "He's come out with some information but we don't have the whole story yet. But I think you should know it's to do with a young girl getting badly hurt and it leaves him very sad and confuse, he thinks she died but does know. She's older than Benjy…

His words were interrupted by a very gentle "Oh no." from Meg as she felt as though her heart had just dropped ten feet.

Antonio carried gently. "Meg, hopefully Ricardo can find out a bit more during the day and it might not be as bad as it seems, so don't dwell on any of this. Ben needs us to stay free from possibilities till we know the truth and he does not want our pity or sympathy he would not understand them. What he needs is us just being there for him, I thought you should know in case he comes out with if and when he sees you. There is an added difficulty his present memories don't seem to stay long, so I keep having to introduce myself and where we are and met but I think as I keep doing it he will eventually actually remember for himself. If not I'm going to get it taped."

"But you'll have to mime them otherwise he'll not know you said them, and think he met a tape machine on the beach."

Antonio gave a chuckle realising though shocked she was still with him and carried on. "True, Anything we do has to be done carefully, he knows he loses his memory but is not distressed by it, just accepts it as normal. He's quiet even by his standards, I only got one word answers last night but I can read his body language which sometimes speaks volumes, just as it did when I first knew him years ago. But something made him talk to Tyus, which was good we also know sudden bursts of memory can shock him into blackouts when he forgets everything and is unable to talk for a while."

Meg thought through his words and remembering Ben's flight said softly. "Oh no the firecrackers ..." then exclaimed as the penny dropped. "Derek's shooting!"

Antonio sighed. "Yes we think that could be a connection … good thing though he found the Mission before blacking out. I found him sitting on the wall not long after the rain started and he woke up at my voice and touch. Obviously the Mission is going to be his base, so I'm keeping him."

He was pleased with her chuckle and laughed at her surprising but gentle remark, "And a lead so you don't lose him again."

Antonio smiled. "Yeah, very tempting but no, not even a room to keep him in. He slept in the old porch at the back of the Mission but as he doesn't like buildings very much. He has a bad chesty cough and is doing Tyus's garden at the moment then I'll take him back to the Mission to rest, eat and potter around. Tyus thinks it would be a good thing if Ben works some where he knows before we take him to strange gardens the only one I can think of is Hank's.

He ignored her very gentle gasp he added. "You can do a walk on part, and if everything is okay we can deal with yours tomorrow or another day depending how he is. I'll be with him and Tyus will be a phone call away if things start to happen. We don't want to crowd him but it will help him to be around familiar things put those pieces back together again. It's so strange to be with him, he's very passive accepts what we give him and tell him. He does not know us yet he trusts us and has given us this bit of information."

He paused for a breath and then carried on gently with touch of seriousness that he hoped she would understand. "Meg, you will have to take things very steadily no rushing to him with hugs or trying to deal with the past. To him it does not exist and when it does he will need time to understand everything. It needs to be first time introduction type of thing. Hi I'm Hank this is the bush that needs trimming etc and then if Ben stops for drink and biscuit Hank could introduce you just as his daughter and possibly Joan no one else.

When we talked in the past you said you had a connection with him when you touch I suggest you don't touch him it might confuse him if he feels it. On the other hand you can not lie to him if he asks you things tell him the answer but not everything around it." He paused and waited for her reaction, which was not quite what he expected.

As Meg listened to his words her mind suddenly jumped back to last night and feeling a little frightened for both herself and Ben exclaimed. "Antonio! I had an e-mail from Ben yesterday!"

Antonio had hoped she would not remember that quite so quickly and said gently hoping not to frighten her. "I know I was with Ricardo last night and I talked to him briefly earlier it's a forgery by an opportunist prankster, I expect he'll send Paul to have a look around if they find out where the email was sent from. Could be someone Ben talked to remember Anne and the hypnosis thing. We know he's here and safe but we don't know how long he's been like this, I'm giving Ricardo some address cards Ben had on him they don't have towns or exchange codes so it will take a while to run them to ground. You need to have a lot of patience no quick answers."

There was a very quiet "Okay" from Meg as he carried on.

"I'm with Tyus and he has confirmed it is Ben not a look alike; he checked his eyes and recognised the small scars on his wrists from the warehouse kidnapping. He's got a couple of scars on his back one could have been from the kidnapping in Seattle the other could be more recent but months ago rather than weeks, and they are minor ones so don't worry about them too much."

Meg felt shattered thinking about the past and what might have happened and said quietly. "He'll not have to relive all that again will he?"

He tried to think of a way to reassure her knowing that they really did not know yet. "Possibly not, one of things he did this morning was to tidy his brother's grave and put some flowers on it but we don't know if he remembers he did it. We can not cross question him abut what he did but when we are back at the Mission he might mention it. See and remember, it's a case of waiting to see what he says if anything. Of course he might just keep it all in a closed box and live for today and tomorrow so we won't know what happened in Seattle either.

We need to see his reaction to you but you need to expect rejection not because he does not love you but because he does not know you at the moment. Of course seeing you might open the gates and he'll tell you everything and it will okay. We don't what will happen. We are trying to keep this within a small circle to give him the space he needs so just talk to family and I will ring Hank and get him to tell you when and then hopefully I can tell you more when we see you."

Meg took a deep breath as she quickly went over his words then said. "Fine, you think Dad will be all right with this?"

Antonio gave a gentle chuckle remembering past conversations with the man. "Yes he'll be okay don't worry."

She accepted his words knowing she could trust him to tell the truth and said. "I'll be waiting. So he's like a stranger..." her voice trailed off as she fully realising what she was saying and it caught up with her.

He knew this was hurting her and tried to sound reassuring as he said. "Yes, and it's going to be difficult for everyone because we are watching knowing everything while he only knows segments, but he's made the first step and that could be the most important one. Just do not expect too much all right. You might say slowly progress is good progress."

Meg sighed and asked gently latching on to practical things. "How is he getting about?"

"Walking and wakes up with the dawn by the looks of things." Antonio said with a sigh.

She smiled and teased. "Fitness freak then … that's okay and you'll be with him."

Antonio's smile showed in his voice. "All the way … day or night. In about half an hour could you ring the Mission and speak to Sister Jane, bring her up to date on Ben's likes and dislikes on food, I know some but I don't want to add to his troubles. I'm going to ring Father Brown in a moment and tell him to bring her update regarding his history and see if we can arrange some private space for him.

Meg realised he needed to get on and knowing Ben would be in safe hands tried to steady her feelings of need and said. "Right I'll do that and let you go, tell Dad he can get me here at the shop. Take care of him Antonio I don't want to lose him again."

He understood her fears and said gently. "I'll make sure we don't lose him again, no doubt Ricardo will make sure the police know and keep a watch on the Mission at least. Take care of yourself and remember this is not your fault; he left because he needed to grieve for his brother in private and he knew you would be safe with your family. He was coming home and tripped over this and he's home now and safe among friends who will help him."

He put the phone down after Meg's gentle "Thank you." hoping he had reassured her but knowing her mind must be full of questions as his was. He sighed and found the next number he needed to call.

oxoxo

Meg sat, her heart thumping wildly with her mind still spinning and creeping through it was the thought of her father's reaction to the news. Would it be hot and cold like it had been before but then she started to reason it out he'd been there for her all the way through this and not against Ben either and this had been turning point in their relationship … seeing each other as equal adults not child and father so he would be all right. Then she churned to another thought should she have recognised him last night…..

Her thoughts stopped as she felt a hand gently rest on hers, which was still clutching the hand set now in her lap and felt the weight of a body sit beside her along with her sister's gentle question. "Sis, why is there a silly grin on your face?"

Sara had kept an eye on her sister after seeing her tell tale signs of agitation as she sat on the window seat and had left her customer as soon as she could and now she as she looked closer at her sister she added gently with concern. "Hey, is that tears as well?"

With her free hand Meg wiped the tears away and took a deep breath her voice was shaky and it all came out as a quiet rush. "Sort of good news but don't yell. Our stranger yesterday was Ben but he has no memory so only family must know. But it's not like Maria's, he is going to do Dad's garden and I'm going to do a walk on job see if it jogs his memory into putting the pieces in the right place." Meg stopped she'd ran out of breath.

Sara looked at her sister for a short moment then in a rush that matched her sister's and grew in excitement as she realised what Meg had said, exclaimed. "But he's got long hair, beard and that terrible jumper! Where's he been sleeping for heavens sake? Wow!!! We cannot do the shop can we?..."

Meg laughed at her sister and knew she had to calm her down quickly so interrupted. "Yes, we will do the shop and you'll go and see Gabi this afternoon as though nothing has happened. You never know you might get news before I do, Antonio will be telling Ricardo everything. Dad should ring here later I expect we'll meet for tea after because Mum will cook anything she can."

Sara shook her head slightly, her eyes bright as she remembered their mother always cooked when troubled and said in a slightly stunned voice. "I don't think I can believe it."

Meg knew she mirrored her sister's feelings and took a breath as a shiver went down her spine then carried on explaining briefly what she knew, guessing she would do it again in detail when Casey was around, he was family and Ben's friend after all. "He's staying at the Mission in the porch and seen Tyus this morning as far as they know he closed down after something happened to a young girl, hopefully Ricardo can find out what. … Oh Sara what happened to him? …. Why him?"

She stopped herself seeing her sister's frown and said. "Sorry I know, he is the only one who can answer that …. which he can't at the moment. … It's not fair." Meg shook her head knowing she had to get control of herself and said. "Look you can ring Casey if you want but no one else."

Sara was not going to miss that invitation so took a better hold of the phone as she said. "Right, move over Sis I need the phone." As she got the phone she looked up and exclaimed under her breath. "Oh Hell there's a customer!"

Meg laughed and got up knowing she needed something to stop her mind from going into over drive, which it was rapidly. A customer would be good, but walking over in their direction she was not quite sure whether she was happy, sad, worried or even that her feet were on the ground. Only that a little thought was tucking itself into the back of her mind – "Ben was home and she would stand by him this time no matter what."

Sara dialled and waited looking up at the clouds drifting by feeling really good and excited and when Casey answered the phone asked. "Are you sitting down, love."

"Christ your not!" Casey exclaimed immediately worried her and the baby.

Sara gave a short laugh realising his worries. "No, but I want you to come over to the shop, I've got some news about Ben. But it has to be kept very very quiet."

"Be there in five!" And the call was cut off and Sara smiled knowing he would be happy again in spite of the problems.

oxoxo

Feeling slightly jaded Antonio walked through the house and into the garden; he had done all his phone calls, visited his brother and made the house call nearby. He smiled and the tiredness flew out the window as he saw their traveller mowing the lawn, the stoop had gone, he was Ben in manner if not in conscious mind. Then frowned as his friend stopped and started coughing, and realised it sounded painfully tight then jumped slightly as Tyus called out. "Grab a drink and a break … the cough will only keep on and tire you out." He dropped his voice so only Antonio could hear and added. "Not lost his stubborn streak, that's the second session. I called out and just got a shake of the head as he carried on coughing and working. He knew you left but was okay with it so it wasn't that. I'm wondering if that's how they worked it… he got left and then picked to be taken back for food. That means he should behave himself now your back.

Antonio took in the comment and smiled with a shake of his head as he watched the man stop work and come over to them and sit in chair he'd sat in earlier. He might have been silent and seemed to do it automatically but his body language shouted. "You called M'lord." In the same way he'd seen that 'what are you waiting for' of last night on the beach.

Hiding his own smile Tyus poured a glass of orange juice out for the man and left it on the table for him and then one each for themselves so he would get the message over by sign if need be. One thing he was learning fast was you couldn't assume anything with this silent stranger.

Their stranger took the drink without hesitation and drank some then held the glass in both hands rather than putting it back on the table and looked over at Tyus and said. "You know me." It was said in the flat husky voice as a statement not a question or something gained from a burst of memory with all its consequences while he'd been working.

Antonio smiled as he sat down wondering if as far as their friend was concerned the break in their conversation had never happened. The work was forgotten or one layer down where their conversation had been while he worked. Now that was to the forefront and he felt comfortable and safe enough to find out more … and what tell them more as well. He took his drink and found it hard to steady his hands because of the excitement running through him and silently told himself sternly to shut up and calm down.

Tyus looked back at his patient trying hard to keep within that doctor mode rather than excited concerned friend mode and said gently "Yes we do know you. I'm your doctor, Tyus Robinson and you've known Father Antonio for a lot longer and you lived here at Sunset Beach for quite a few years." and left it at that not wanting to touch on the complications that lay in the background of that information.

For a moment the tension was nearly unbearable for both men as they waited for a reaction … any reaction.

When it came it was just a nod of acceptance and not the explosion of memories coming back in a rush or even slowly … as they'd feared or sort of hoped for.

Tyus relaxed a bit but not much as he had the feeling there was something lurking just under the surface though there was nothing visible to indicate it, and knew it could be just his hopes … fears of what might happen….

"Will I remember it if you tell me?"

Tyus felt excited as he heard it, though the voice was still flat and husky and no emotions or recognition showing on the man's face, curiosity was breaking through and that was what he wanted to help him break down the barriers around the man. He silently took a breath to calm himself knowing he had to step carefully one wrong move could be devastating shut him down completely but the right one could open him up to them. He needed to know more and asked. "Do you mean your name?"

Antonio very carefully put his drink down; his heart was racing with anticipation way too much to concentrate on anything else especially as he could almost see Tyus weighing things up.

The man nodded and drank some more juice; again his dark emotionless eyes watched Tyus all the time.

Tyus didn't waver under his friend's gaze though he found it slightly unnerving and breathed slowly as he quickly thought things through. He'd expected questions about himself and Antonio or Sunset Beach first. To tell him his name could open up all of the past his losses and the trauma in one go – with the possible acceptance of it or shut down because of it. Or it could be something he felt he needed to know, be just a label to him and there would be nothing behind it and once given they could use it, call him by it when necessary. The fact he asked it meant he was able or had been assessing things … possibly as he gardened … and was willing or able to make a decision. So he might accept it and work again and then come back with more questions … well that would make gardening interesting either here or elsewhere.

Though nothing showed on his friend's face Tyus had seen that trust he'd seen in the man's eyes earlier transfer into body language as he was cutting the lawn ... he felt totally safe here although he might not consciously know it. He'd always known this man had a unique sense of trust for certain people in spite of all he'd been through and Antonio had been one of them. But he'd never realised he was another; though he was used to peoples trust being a doctor, this was a deeper trust though rarely given quickly. Now he knew he was in that group he'd have to be really honest with him, no white lies for comfort sake because they would come back to bite them and that loss of trust would break him and them. This man had left them to get over one tragedy and had somehow tripped over another on the way back and instinct had brought back here… to them for help.

Deciding what to say he quietly took a breath and made sure he was in doctor mode with a hint of reassurance in his voice and said. "It might not stay with you but we can tell it again and with each reintroduction it might stay or become familiar to you. In the same way Father Antonio has been doing. Hearing it could trigger your memories slowly or in a rush either way it can be frightening for you. We are here for you and will help you through it and memories are things that have happened in past and have dealt with you here safe and with friends. It could also be the case your name won't mean anything other than a label to be called by and that's all right too. Father Antonio will be with you should you feel worried by any memories that come back suddenly and he can always talk to me. I think as you have asked for your name you should have it given to you, but first do you remember how you came to be at the Mission and what you did there this morning?"

Their traveller nodded still keeping his eyes on Tyus.

"That's good." Tyus said though he had hoped for words but the nod was positive and now to check the rest he added. "Do you remember coming here and how I examined and the work you've done?"

Tyus got another nod, wanting to make sure he'd not been frightened off he asked. "You still want to know your name?"

Their traveller blinked and nodded again.

Tyus guessed Antonio was feeling the same as he was, excited and yet a little afraid and there was no going back now. So hoping there would not be an immediate blackout said clearly and calmly. "Your name is Ben Evans."

There was no eureka moment from their traveller, no flash of emotion or recognition just a silent long look at Tyus and then at Antonio then he looked at the table as he put the empty glass on it. Still looking at the table he quietly said "Ben Evans". The words came out slowly and huskily with no emotion attached, rather like someone repeating two words they'd just heard for the first time.

Antonio sat silent hoping waiting. Tyus also stayed silent and nodded even though he was not sure Ben could be see it or even noted it, it was really for his own satisfaction that it was correct and waited hopefully, anxiously ….

With the two words Ben Evans echoing in his mind the man knew he'd got what he wanted, what he needed. He'd drunk the drink as told and it had stopped his cough. He looked up and saw the lawn mower and knew he had to finish the job … that's what he did... that was why he was there… he found his bag resting against his leg and picked it up and got up.

He put his bag on is shoulder and took two steps so he cleared the chair and glanced at the two men sitting at the table and shivered violently as he turned away from them to go back to mow the lawn. In his mind where there was either confusion or blankness there he started a mantra as he glanced at the two men. "Father Antonio friend, Tyus Robinson Doctor, Ben Evans me." That deep feeling that always accompanied him told him it was okay so he carried on walking towards the mower and his work and with each repetition of the mantra the words went deeper into his mind.

It all disappeared as soon as he touched the machine and started to mow the lawn this was all he knew now … his job was to finish the garden. But it was not gone, like everything else it unknowingly slipped into the confusion of mismatched pictures and voices. Instead of becoming just another misunderstood mess the words in the mantra started to pull voices and pictures together, though nothing made complete sense as he had nothing around them… yet.

oxoxo

Antonio and Tyus sat silently watching Ben work, then Tyus said quietly not wanting to temp fate. "Ten minutes are up I reckon we can breath again."

There was a sigh of relief from Antonio which made Tyus smile as he carried on. "That felt a like throwing a pebble in to a thick pond, perhaps the shiver was a gentle ripple on the surface…. better than a big splash and a tidal wave I suppose. At least we have a name we can refer back to now but I wouldn't yell when you are at the Mission it at him just use it at close quarters." He turned to look at Antonio and with a smile added. "So how did you get on, the shop still in one piece?"

Antonio gave a gentle laugh feeling the tension run out of him the exclaimed with feeling. "That man should carry a health warning." Tyus snorted as Antonio carried on. "She was good, got it as soon as I mentioned the word traveller, I wonder if she felt something but did not realise it. I didn't go into too much detail though I told her about the girl, thought I'd catch up when I see them at Hank's." He hesitated and eyed Tyus as he carried on. "Oh yes, after Hank got over the shock and a few swear words he said he knew just how Ben felt."

Tyus chuckled and said "Mention lost keys to him when you see him."

Antonio laughed and said with feeling having lost papers rather than keys. "Oh dear."

Tyus smiling carried on. "Yeah in the Shock Wave of all places, I popped in for a quick coffee. Guess Joan will have a field day; mind you we've all been there in one way or another. I'll ring him later if you like."

Antonio nodded and said "That would be good because we had to break off the call, a group of kids invaded them. We've arranged to go over late afternoon he's only got a small amount of work to do; the lawn was cut a couple of days ago. Not too sure how we are going to keep it in close family as Ricardo says he needs to tell Charles so we rig up a safety net, something to do with next of kin."

Tyus nodded. "Yes I expect he'll ring me. If Ben was still married, Maria would be his in the same way he acted for her but as they are divorced and she's remarried it would revert to close relative. He didn't leave a next of kin note with the other documents so he could have left something with Charles I suppose. We could use you as you will be close to him, perhaps we should have two. Meg would be good one because he left his fortune with her and asked her to get the house. I assume you don't mind taking on that role."

"Either or both is fine though I think Meg might be better, just in case…"

Tyus added for him with a smile "He takes a swing at you."

Antonio smiled and sighed "Yeah, accidentally of course, but we do know he has a temper and can defend himself."

"Quite true. Okay I'll see what Charles or Ricardo thinks. So."

"Right, we tossed ideas around and it's mainly a case of him and Paul putting the addresses and numbers in the computer eliminating them till they get a match each one done separately. Of course it will take time, once they know that they can start checking back as for the accident they will try and get something from the information they have but they really need dates. He'll obviously get Paul to check out any information about the email if they get time. He said he'll speak to you later so I guess your quiet day has gone."

Tyus chuckled "I reckon we will all be chasing each other with phone calls as this thing progresses, sort of on the hour every hour, perhaps not at least a couple during the day."

Antonio thought for a moment then said. "As you're the doctor and he listens to you." Tyus eyed Antonio suspiciously but stayed silent as he carried on. "Could you tell him to rest when he gets back to the Mission and after lunch otherwise both or one of us is not going to make it to Hank's tonight."

Tyus shook his head and gave a gentle laugh. "Early morning catching up with you."

"You might laugh but it was the crack of dawn for him and later for me, I know I do a lot of walking but by the time I take him back and feed him then he works on the graves and I sort other things out. We then walk to Hank's and back which is across town there is a possibility **he** might peg out and I can't carry him or him me if I peg out of course." He sighed and gave a chuckle "That sounds like I'm taking a dog for a walk and Meg mentioned about a lead as well."

Tyus chuckled "I know what you mean and it's good to laugh about it. I'll be near the phone if you need me. I don't know what he'll be like tomorrow when the pills really kick in, he might like to sit or sleep and keep close to the Mission. When he's had them before they've worked by the second day and I've given an extra boost for today. You'll just have to watch and act accordingly. What about Meg's garden."

"I suggested tomorrow or the next day nothing fixed, we'll see how things go we both know she'll be there when needed. I'll ring her and discuss it, she'll need up dating on how he is each morning at least." Antonio looked towards Ben and said quietly. "I know he's always been quiet but there's always been a presence, at the moment he's so closed up and passive and then to forget everything …" He sighed not wanting to continue.

Tyus smiled and said gently for him, "Always a stranger. You must admit it has some advantages, if you make a mistake one day you don't remember it the next, but on the other hand you don't remember the good bits either." He paused and then went on slowly knowing he was touching a sore subject. "You will have to warn Maria I wouldn't want them coming on each other unexpectedly he will not understand it at the moment so she will have to take her cue from you. In fact that might happen with anyone he meets not that I think he will go out too much especially as we want him to rest and tell him so. In some ways it's going to be like having a very quiet child around."

Antonio laughed "Yes, six foot one at that, I've cleared it with the other Fathers, he's my only project, though I might have to check a few things but nothing away from the Mission and I'll have Sister Jane to help me as they've been introduced. Let me know about the phone bill. Should I tell him about Maria though?"

"Forget the bill. No not unless he asks, he might remember he's divorced her then again he might not… it could be interesting with her husband around. Oh yes don't forget he was married to Meg for a short time and both marriages took place at the Mission so make sure you know which wife he's remembering if he talks about one when he's there. To talk about the wrong one could cause huge problems."

Antonio sighed with a heartfelt. "**Oh great!** … You know nothing is easy is it. Why couldn't Maria have come back a few weeks earlier or later? I'll ring Ricardo when I get back and tell him he's got to see her I don't want to leave the Mission for long. Mind you that meeting should be interesting we talked last night and he's still not happy about things. She's come back to mend fences and deal with something Ben set up for her. I hope she'll be all right around Ben after all they agreed he should leave them that morning…" He shook his head to calm himself and looked at the man working adding. "Sara's pissed off about it all, Meg understands Maria due to her own past with Derek so I can't say things will be quiet around here … mind you it never was ... I think he's finished now so we will leave you in peace."

Tyus laughed knowing he would not get as much peace, and realised as Ben was coming towards them he was walking slowly and looking at the house rather than them and form his body language, he was plucking up courage … and the penny dropped so he got up and quietly called out. "Ben, I'm afraid it's upstairs, I'll show you." He was pleased that Ben actually turned towards him and hoped it was recognition of his name rather than you are coming towards me and talking therefore it concerns me, and led him into the house quietly explaining the way.

Antonio watched and waited feeling a little anxious remembering how he found the shower area earlier and was relieved that there was not rushed exit a couple of minutes later. In fact they came out as they went in, nice and quietly and Ben carried on down the garden to put a few things away.

Tyus stopped beside Antonio and said quietly, "Once inside and reassured he could get out he was fine, which is a good sign. Don't worry about the silences his mind might be playing catch up and sorting things out; he's learnt a lot this morning. Can't truly say he knew his name but at least he didn't run from it. Remember the pills three times a day, two for today drop then down to one tomorrow, warm drinks like the one Sister Jane made for him are fine and I'll pop over and check him tomorrow afternoon but call any time if you need me. Should warn you I always swear when woken at night that's force of habit nothing to worry about and I don't mind even if it's just to check up on something. I'm at work in the morning but you will be put through to me no matter what I'm doing they won't know about Ben just you must speak to me." He gave a quiet cough and admitted. "Oh yes I sneakily taped the earlier conversation so I'll give it Ricardo I know I can trust him to keep them safe it might help him in some way."

Antonio smiled and said. "Good idea. Thanks."

Seeing Ben put his bag down and start to put his jumper on Tyus walked towards him knowing he had to get in before the cap went on. As he got close enough to talk he called out quietly "Ben, wait a moment." He was pleased Ben stopped and looked over to him and longed for the old expression instead of this blank one, but it was a start and keeping eye contact said. "I need you to rest a lot so that cough gets better. So sit and rest till lunch, Father Antonio will tell you when that is and after that do light gardening if you wish or rest till you see Hank late afternoon early evening. It's only light garden work so it should not tire you but you stop if it does, you can always go back another day. After evening meal sleep in the porch like last night rather than outside in the yard, you need to be covered in case it rains or is cold."

He paused for a moment to let that sink in and then added. "You might feel more tired tomorrow don't let that worry you, just make sure you take the pills Antonio gives you and rest. Let him know if you feel ill, he will contact me and I will see you. I know you might forget this so Antonio will remind you."

Without a change in his expression Ben gave a nod and then slung his bag on his shoulder and as he turned to walk towards the gate he gave a quick glance across at Antonio and walked on. From the silent body language Antonio and Tyus read the definite "come on lets get going then" message and they gave each other a smile of acknowledgment and understanding as Antonio walked over to catch Ben up.

As Tyus watched the pair he smothered a chuckle wondering just who was in charge and then sighed as he noted that by the time they'd reached the gate the cap was on and Ben was back to the closed down attitude including the slouching shoulders and hoped the easier attitude would come back once he got back to the Mission.

Walking behind them as they went through the gate he saw Ben drop back slightly letting Antonio take the lead and wondered if he forgotten the route to the Mission or his subconscious was resting.

Once they were clear of his garden he reluctantly turned away so as not to draw attention to himself or them, though there was a definite itch for him to watch them till they were out of sight. Closing his garden gate behind him he knew one for sure today wasn't going to be the easy day he'd originally thought it would be.

oxoxo

Walking on down the road with Ben tucked in away from the kerb Antonio let the comfortable silence between them settle though he kept his senses alert, hoping those firecrackers and backfiring vehicles would stay away. The last thing he wanted now was Ben to bolt or even just walk out in front of a silent cyclist as they crossed a road as his head was down looking at the pavement as they walked.

By the time they got to the Mission gates Antonio was feeling tired and his stomach was reminding him breakfast had been a long time ago. Pushing the gates open he saw the sign and smiled, then felt his silent companion go towards the Mission doorway as the sign asked all visitors to do. As there was no one around and before the gap got too big Antonio said quietly. "It's all right Ben we can go round to your yard. That sign is for everyone else so you will not disturb you while you are here. A Father or Sister will always be around if you need them as well."

He stopped because Sister Jane was coming towards them and when they were close enough for a quiet conversation he smiled and said. "Sister Jane this is Ben, how are things?"

He saw Sister Jane's flash of surprise and then bright smile, and though he knew Ben could not see it knew he would hear the warm unforced greeting that came immediately. "Ben it's nice to know you, I'm glad we can help you."

Ben nodded, which both took as a greeting back as he obviously wasn't relaxed enough to talk. Antonio decided to push for a rest and food; especially as his stomach was getting ready growl again and even if Ben missed it Sister Jane wouldn't and said. "Tyus said he should rest before lunch."

Sister Jane nodded and turned towards the path to the yard and as he followed them Antonio thought about the notice. He knew there would be a buzz about their 'silent gardening traveller who suffered from blackouts so needed to be left alone when around'. And on the whole people would respect it, wouldn't mind be escorted to the graves of their loved ones if need be. As for those who …

His thoughts were stopped as Sister Jane quietly explained. "Ben, we've put some small bales of bedding near the Mission's wall where it gets the late morning and afternoon sun. There's a canvas sheet there to cover them so they don't get wet and might make it more comfortable as well. Also several chairs and a table with a portable water cooler etc so you can have a drink when ever you want to, one of us will fill it up for you as needs be. You may eat in your yard if you want to but I hope you'll join us at the tables outside the kitchen porch as well. I've also put a couple of guide books about Sunset Beach in the porch so you can browse if you wish, there always books from our library if you want any. We've set up a work station just outside the kitchen porch so I or Father Antonio can be available and the other Sisters or Fathers would like to help if we are not around. You are welcome to come and go as you please of course."

There was a nod of acknowledgement and Antonio noticed Ben was gradually relaxing and hoped it would continue once they got into they yard. When they walked into the yard Antonio was surprised that the alterations made it feel more homely.

Ben hesitated then walked in the direction of the bales of bedding but didn't look like stopping, Antonio who'd followed him guessed he had remembered the earlier gardening and said gently. "You should rest as Dr Robinson said. I'll come round when lunch is ready and we can decide what you do this afternoon."

He had to smile, although his words were met with silence there was a definite 'huff of if you insist' in his body language along with a nod which he assumed was acceptance. His friend stopped and let his bag slip off his shoulder so it was by his leg as he started to move the bales around. Antonio with the thoughts whispering in his mind … 'he'd done this before' … watched fascinated as without hesitation a comfortable seat rather than a bed was made. A bale made the back rest, one each for the sides and one for the seat and then it was covered sheet, and the rest stacked in pile further along.

Antonio then saw Ben take off his jumper without knocking his cap off and then wrap the strap of the bag round his arm then made sure the bag was tucked next his leg and sat on the seat. Realising it would be easier for Ben to rest or sleep in a chair so his cap would stay on as people would be around Antonio stepped forward and asked gently. "Do you know if you will remember everything when you wake?"

He got a silent shrug of the shoulders as an answer and watched as Ben used the jumper as a blanket and snuggled into the seat so all they could see was his cap then his jumper and his legs.

Wondering if Ben needed to cut himself off from the world so he could sleep or rest he stepped forward again and crouched down and feeling more of a brother than a Father and said. "Don't worry I'll remind you when you wake and we'll see how things go, just know you are safe and amongst friends, Ben."

He hope those words would stay with his friend and had not expected a reply and heard a flat husky muffled "Thank you." which made him smile. Though he couldn't see Ben's eyes or hands he knew by the man's breathing he was asleep within a minute of those words. Silently he got up and knew Ben would not be disturbed or recognised as he slept and looked across at Sister Jane who was also smiling. He nodded to her and they made their way quietly out of the yard and across to the kitchen porch so they could talk and watch.

As soon as they were out of earshot Sister Jane said quietly with a smile in her voice. "A bit like flicking a switch one second awake next fast asleep, I wish I could do that. He trusts you a lot even if he does not remember you and as you are close to him it must be very strange even unsettling." Antonio nodded allowing her to finish what was on her mind without pausing. "No one here will tell anyone who he is and you should eat before you worry everyone about earthquakes or volcanoes and then rest as he is **but** first tell me all."

Antonio nodded with a smile knowing she had not missed his stomach rumbling and he would never hear the end of it, and with a sigh said. "Okay, sort a small snack out for me, but we'll all lunch together. I've a few things to do inside so you'll need to keep guard and I need to up date Ricardo.""

Sister Jane went off with a chuckle and a respectful "Yes Father."

He sat at the workstation and looked back into the yard, knowing if he could deal with things inside he wasn't ready to …he didn't want to leave his friend and brother yet even if he knew he was safe and asleep. He remembered their early days together as they got to know each other as brothers and how Ben had listened to his ideas and wishes rather than just squashing them out of hand as youthful fancies. Their chats enabled him to face his family and merge his hopes and beliefs with their expectations with an easier mind. He knew now it was his turn to listen and gently guide his friend and brother back home and to his family and friends. He sighed hoping he was up to the job and knew he was not on his own he would have help and found his phone and started to dial his brother's number.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7 **

Jude was talking to the desk sergeant in the reception area at Sunset Beach Police Station when he saw Ricardo walk in. He broke off turned to greet him with a smile and calling across casually. "Ricardo, are you early or am I late."

Ricardo carried on walking and without smiling said. "I'm early actually because there is a problem which could become a police matter."

Jude knew by the man's manner that whatever it was needed clearing up before they got down to their real work so became serious and said quietly, "Okay, we'll work on through lunch into this afternoon if needs be." Turning back to the desk sergeant he added. "I'll get back to you for those notes and I'm not available unless something **really** urgent comes up." Then back to Ricardo. "Go on through to my office, I'll grab two coffees you look as though you need one."

"That would be great thanks." Ricardo answered and went to Jude's office.

By the time Jude came in with the coffees Ricardo had put brief notes with a photo of Ben on the table and sat down with his folder beside him. Putting the coffees on the table and sitting down Jude looked at the photo and then back to Ricardo and asked seriously. "Is he part of the problem?"

Ricardo nodded and added "There's a brief summary and a transcript of a tape Tyus made. You can listen to it but it only tells you that his voice is emotionless and husky. Husky due to the lack of use rather than the chest infection he's got."

Jude nodded and read it through then exclaimed in shock and concern. "**Hell**, that's a load to take in. What's he doing at the moment?"

"Sleeping on a straw chair in the yard at the Mission under Antonio's care, he's been told his name … did not recognise it and might not remember anything when he wakes, so it's a case of wait and see."

Jude said with a sigh. "So it's no good going to him for any answers?"

Ricardo knew that was the best source but knew it was not wise and answered. "Tyus says no it could confuse him even more too many people. I think we should restrict what we tell Antonio otherwise he will start second guessing Ben's words or actions. We aught to check anything tells us though but as Ben's past is still a mystery it could be difficult and confusing if we don't know what part of his history he is recalling."

He paused for a moment feeling guilty but knew the thought had to aired and said. "Bearing that in mind and the fact Derek killed when he was cornered or trapped … I think you should make arrangements so everyone at the Mission can be got out quickly and Ben can be stunned should he go on the dark side. I hasten to add I don't think it will happen, it took a lot to wind Ben up and he usually wrecks the place or throws the person out rather than attacking them. We know he will defend himself if attacked and he did Tim hit at the wedding but he held back when Hank decked him at Ocean Drive."

"Right … I take your point." Jude said with a slow smile and nod of understanding, after making a few notes on his pad he looked across at Ricardo and added. "So let's go back to Christmas Day and work forward because you are my best source of information about him and what happened.

Ricardo nodded opening his folder and immediately falling back into one of the things he'd missed, the old routine of bouncing information between officers to get ideas or just sort things out.

Jude started the ball rolling. "We know it was Ben's idea to leave, that he was sane enough to sort everything out and he left in the early hours of Christmas Day out of respect for Benjy and Maria. He had a large amount of cash as well as his cash card and his car. The car has never turned up stolen or sold so that is likely to be in a garage hopefully attached to a flat or house somewhere. We know from his brief emails to Meg and Charles that he used money for investment either business or flat and he needed more time.

This was not the first Ben started up life again and we know work was his lifeline from when Maria was thought to have died. The only difference this time was he was coming back to continue his life. Antonio and Hank thought it might take longer than suggested in his messages to Meg and Charles. We've been reassured by a few emails to Charles and Meg, and assumed he started a new cash card elsewhere when the other one finished, less hassle that way. He would come back as Meg and his fortune were here."

Ricardo nodded and added. "Meg tried to send answers to his emails but they bounced, we traced the last one to a 24 hour internet café, Paul showed his picture around but no one recognised him which was not surprising it was extremely busy. They rightly refused to show security tapes but he checked the signatures and found one that could have been his writing but wrong name, again he could not do anything without a warrant."

Jude nodded and carried on with his run through. "There was no reason for police involvement no crime had been committed. Because of the lengthening silence after the last email and a sort of just in case, you and Meg decided to put his picture with little detail on a lost contact webpage but nothing solid came of it. So the only thing you could do was to sit and wait and track back the next email.

**Now**, we have a spanner in the works namely one Ben Evans with little or no memory, broke, certainly not in a position to have made the latest email which means that one is a forgery. That's worrying because it's personal and Ben's not likely to have talked to just anyone, so it's someone he trusted and that someone has broken that trust."

Ricardo nodded; Jude sighed and rounded things off. "So, Ben's memory thread could be something from before he came here or could be recent … either way it's important enough to disturb him now. Assuming it's not part of his deeper past we need to know if he started a business that failed and then he came across or caused the situation and it sent him off the rails completely, or it was big enough in itself to send him over. Or of course he's a victim of scam … a business deal/family set up which ended in him believing he hurt a child and he went over the edge or they might think he's dead and they've scooped up his money. From what you've found out so far it's possible he's been on the road since sometime in March. Yes?"

Ricardo nodded and said quietly. "No much for one guy really."

Jude chuckled understanding his humour and said. "Not with his past. So, I'll open an investigation now we know about the email and possible accident involving a child. That will give police backing to you asking about accidents concerning children if we follow that lead. As you are working for Meg and this department I suggest we make sure your home computer is linked with ours and you can work here and at home."

Ricardo nodded his acceptance and Jude sighed and added. "Now… I need your take on everything and I know I'm going to hate saying this … **but** how much of Ben was Derek …. if you see what I mean. Because I only said Hi to the real guy before he left for his trip to deal with personal business, which turned out to be Seattle."

Without giving Ricardo time to answer he gave him a serious look and emphasised his next sentence. "Also where do you stand? After all the man's twin lived with your sister for four months and to be honest you were not on good terms with the real Ben before that."

Ricardo didn't rush into the answer understanding Jude's need for real honesty; he took a couple gulps of his coffee and then said. "Any anger I have about what happened is with Derek who is dead and not Ben. Derek became Ben in every sense of the word, certainly enough to fool my sister into thinking she was starting a new beginning with her husband and son.

You've got understand the real Ben was strong on family as a unit and that was one of the reasons he never took Meg away from hers or hit back at Hank when he turned on him, he didn't want to break it up he wanted to fit in.

When I first met Ben I wanted go into his background but Maria told me not too, he was her choice and I could see they loved each other so I didn't. He always showed us respect and friendship. When he first joined our family he helped Antonio through a sticky patch and became a sort of second brother to him. Because of that I was a bit jealous but then I found things easier I had more freedom to become myself not be the head of the family with a mother and two young adults to look after. Taking that into consideration it was understandable when went back to Maria and Benjy that September people thought he'd forsaken fancied new love for his family and old love.

In the early years he did win my respect and guarded friendship; I liked him, it was just the air of mystery around him I did not like. Could call it police gut feeling especially as he came with a small fortune, I wondered where it came from. Anyway all that respect and friendship was turned on its head because of Maria's so called drowning. It seemed to be too convenient with no witnesses and a body around and there was her message that she was frightened of him. Then the arguments they had came to light, which he never admitted to just stayed silent about. … Well, you know me and fixed ideas. … And of course we all know why he never explained things … I mean to say I found it hard to believe about an identical twin and that was when Ben got free and Meg was kidnapped and there was photo proof of a twin."

Jude finished drinking his coffee and asked. "Was his business sense as good as AJ said it was or was it luck?"

Ricardo gave a gentle laugh "Oh yeah really good, but he never flaunted his wealth or knowledge like some people we know. It was quite a surprise to find out just how large his fortune was earlier this year. … I did know he could make or break a business by word and mouth; people listened to him and acted, as far as I know he never used that power.

Derek used being with Maria and Benjy to mask the fact he was standing still business wise and to get out of anything difficult. So yes I think it would be difficult to pull wool over his eyes. But if Ben was recovering from Derek's death and all its impactions he might have been vulnerable and fallen for a scam … wanted to feel needed … that type of thing."

Jude nodded and thought about the Derek/Ben he had known, AJ's and Ricardo's understanding of the complex man and knew he really needed to meet and get that 'feeling' for him. But that would be impossible he was a hidden shell at the moment and said. "Okay we come up to date you tell me what you have found regardless of the gaps. We can do a white board later."

Ricardo stretched and checked his folder and found the cards and started. "Right, I managed to match towns to the addresses and telephone numbers on these cards Antonio gave me. There are a total of five rang them and left messages on two and got immediate feedback from the others and that's where things really get interesting."

Jude eyed him and got up and got a map of the State from the filing cabinet; Ricardo cleared the desk and as the map was laid out carried on. "So far they are shelters for the homeless, the one in the south seems to be a garden centre or farm of some kind, that's the one I left a message on the answer machine, the other oneis up north. Bearing in mind he was interested in the garden centre on the edge of town and from what Antonio and Tyus said he's a good gardener I wonder if his family in UK used to run that kind of business and he's returned to something he's familiar to ground himself. Anyway we know he wears a stripy jumper, which Antonio thinks was something one of the groups gave him as a freebee to keep warm or even as a label. I've asked all of them about a nameless traveller and given them his description, including jumper and asked for dates if known."

"Show me the towns." Jude asked intrigued and hoping for a pattern.

Ricardo pointed out the towns in turn and then continued. "When you think about it he would not have wanted to travel north too close to Seattle, inland and you come across the mountains, flying he might have felt trapped in the cabin so south was the best way to go. The first real contact we have is here."

He pointed to the town as he went on. "Arrived mid March and was in a bad way as in silent, grubby and hungry, he found the mobile soup kitchen and they took him back to the shelter. They didn't know if he could read or write but he was courteous and gentle, he did gardening and lived outside then one day up and left, he stayed about two weeks. They didn't try and trace him because that's what travellers do; he seemed content and was able to cope with life. I asked about blackouts apparently they used it on their card because he seemed to lose memory easily, but they never actually witnessed a blackout and they didn't know about the other cards so he might not have had them. Troubling part is he already had that jumper and baseball cap so it might not have been his first stop."

Jude nodded his understanding and knew neither liked the implication of that and let Ricardo carry on.

"Ben turns up here" Ricardo pointed to the town, "and stays only a few days again no reason given for moving on, again silent and living outside though they did admit to trying to get him to move into one of the rooms. That might have been enough to make him move on. As they said it was not really very good having someone sleeping under the tree if you were trying to bring people in off the road. … Oh yes he paid for food, came out in envelopes with 'money for food' written on it so it must have been from the first place.

If the dates carry on in same sequence as the towns it looks as though he goes pass Sunset Beach and tracks back down to till he arrived yesterday, which could mean he was better than what he is now. The other place denied having a traveller with a stripy jumper but I thought he was lying so perhaps a police presence might be a good idea I've asked Paul to have a quiet look around. The most recent one is here." He pointed it out and carried on. "The people who actually looked after him were not around and the person taking the call didn't want to say anything it's their policy that only carers discuss travellers. I told her Paul would call in which seemed to be okay, I don't think they were hiding anything.

It looks as though he slept rough for one night, most likely outside Sunset Beach otherwise the officers looking for the runaway would have found him. It's possible he had only just arrived when Antonio found him, bearing in mind the significance of the town, bay and sunset hearing Antonio's voice might have brought him back from an episode or stirring memories."

Jude nodded thoughtfully then said. "Yeah and it's totally unsettled him, I'll have a quick word with Tyus and see what he says … I mean it's been assumed that he actually blacks out as in collapses on the ground and then wakes up. … It could be he just stays still then carries on as though nothing had happened … except of course he does not know where he is or what he is doing there … which must be really strange. … but … yeah well let's not think of that at the moment."

Ricardo shivered knowing his unsettling thoughts and carried on. "Paul's checking on as many of the shelters he can and will then get back to me most probably tomorrow morning." He sighed as he carried on. "You realise if this is right it contradicts everything we thought happened to Ben, he clearly has not had money or memory for a while."

Jude nodded made a couple of notes then asked. "You've got a list of cash points Ben used so you can mark them on the map."

Ricardo got the list and said. "Okay, but he would have needed a plane to have been able to use them."

Jude looked at Ricardo a bit puzzled but as the flags were put out he sighed and said. "Okay, so the cash points used appear to be in the north and not in the same towns as the shelters … the timing appears to be wrong anyway, especially as they might run in sequence. That is assuming he went south first and stayed there then came north. … He could have gone north saw the idea or offer whatever and got the money then went south … you know as well as I do he would not think twice about hiring something like a helicopter if he needed … just wouldn't make a fuss about.

One thing of the things the twins have got in common is resourcefulness, but leaving that out for the moment what are your thoughts on the matter."

Ricardo voiced his thoughts. "Ben never wasted money, it's possible he flew south and something happened around March that set him on the road. My thoughts ran on the same lines as yours business failure and then the accident could be either together or a part. **But** there is another possibility, which I really don't like … that he was mugged at some point hence the scar on his back, Tyus thinks one scar was done by Derek. Ben gave the muggers the pin number and got away with his life … adding that onto his previous kidnapping and Derek's death … well it would send anyone loopy. We all know car details erased or changed and that's why nothing has come back to us."

Jude sighed not liking that thought at all. "I rather prefer the business gone bad and a recent accident child thing to explain the scar. But let's go through it all the same. We know muggers would have used his card immediately for as much as they could, so flags would gone up and the company would got in contact with us here. That was why Ben emailed to let Charles know he was cashing large amounts on the card, didn't want them to worry. If it happened it would have been after that email was sent. As for the car they would have needed to get rid of it quickly burning can leave partial numbers so it would have got back to us as would just dumping it and running. Because Ben would have been injured a hospital, police and possibly missing persons would be involved if he lost his memory as well and I or someone here would have seen the state wide sheet.

It's more likely he buried himself in a new business as you said it's his lifeline, one that's not failed him before. But if failed ruined him and possibly some else that would send him over the top. If it's a one man business the car could be in a garage and the house or flat with all correspondence going back to it, and knowing our luck on a yearly rent in a different name if he got shot of that as well. Now if that happened I'm thinking he would have found it even harder to come back and face everyone."

Ricardo sighed. "Yeah and he usually shuts down on his difficulties in order to help others."

Jude nodded and said. "Let's go onto the last email. I'll only need to read it if you think it necessary but do you think its something separate, sort of coincidence?"

Ricardo flicked though his notes and found his copy. "I don't know …from the fact it mentions a letter being sent the sender knows Ben's not here. We both know that can be a ploy to put Meg off the scent it's a forgery make her feel guilty worried. But I can't see the point of the e-mail itself there's no mention of money to be sent … it's a personal I'm okay remember this that and other and will contact October/November. Re reading it, it feels like someone out to cause mischief … a bit like Annie when she was trying to get Ben back. Oh! sorry Jude." Ricardo said quickly remembering Jude and Annie together.

Jude smiled, nodded and said. "Its okay I know all about Annie's obsession regarding Ben I just hope him coming back a freeman so to speak will not set it off again. I'll talk to her and keep an eye on her don't you worry. Yeah it could be he talked to someone in his better moments and then closed down and moved on without them, they are hurt and needed to get back at someone else so sent the mail.

But they would have to have Meg's mail address … and you don't give those out in casual chat, mind you they could have got that through her shop. … I'm assuming Ben knew about the shop … might be wise to ask Meg about that and any odd phone calls or enquires about email addresses, but not today, tomorrow perhaps. I don't want her too worried."

Ricardo nodded then said slightly hesitant. "There is another possibility though I think if he had any sense he would be miles or States away."

Jude looked at Ricardo and said quietly. "Ben's jailer."

Ricardo sighed hearing Jude say it so readily. "Yeah, he most probably was around when Derek took the memories … Ben would not have given them willingly. We never found out if he got paid or who he was Ben's description was scrappy and from house to house it seems he wore disguises when around and never shopped locally so no camera footage. Of course it didn't help that the house was a pile of ashes by the time the truth was found out."

Jude thought for a moment. "Hope it's not, but you have a point. But you can't chase someone when you don't know who you're looking for and there's only a partial fingerprint, which would not stand up in court because it was not big enough. It's in the system just in case something comes along but we really need a good one to get a match and it could be someone totally innocent anyway.

I suppose this could be just the first mail the next one asks for money. You know the kind of thing. Lost the money, no card, need to pay rent and can you send cash so I can come home.

Nice ploy about the lost voice that stops you from thinking about phone calls and gets sympathy going add in lost letter, personal stuff and you've got pain for the reader. So who ever sent it is clever, but we have the advantage we know it's a fake and Ben is here … what about where the email was sent from?"

Ricardo pointed to a town on the map. "It's not a long drive from the town where they were huffy about Ben being there, which could be nothing or significant. Paul was going to poke his nose around there; he has a photo of Ben but not one with beard, ponytail and baseball cap etc."

Jude smiled trying to imagine the smart man he met to the one Ricardo described and said. "Right, he'll need a warrant for the Internet café if he needs to get into the computer records so give me his mobile number and route or car reg. and I'll get one of my contacts to meet him and they can do the whole lot with official backing. So, we'll most likely get the first news tomorrow morning when they get back rather than odd phone calls, mind you they will ring if it's ground breaking news. It's not as though it's a life threatening case and Ben might remember fairly soon anyway.

But first I need to tell our people here what's going on; we need a safety net around the Mission, can't have him disappearing on us again now can we?"

Ricardo shook his head and wrote out the information while Jude rang the duty sergeant asking him to call in the office immediately. Then Jude asked. "How's Meg taken the news?"

Ricardo smiled "Good as far as I know, Ben is due to do Hank's garden late this afternoon and she is going to be there." He saw Jude's expression and said "Yeah I know he and Hank had history but Ben always respected Hank and as Antonio said it will be under controlled conditions and Tyus will be on the end of the phone if needed. Then he will deal with her garden tomorrow if there's a good response. Of course he can do ours the next if he wants."

Jude said gently but with a slight grin. "I thought the idea was not to scare the poor lad."

"Oh thank you very much!" Ricardo huffed. "No …"

The rest of his remark was stopped because the door opened and the duty sergeant walked in. "You wanted to see me Jude?"

"Yes close the door. I need you to set up a team of sensible officers to watch the Mission day and night to keep track of a traveller."

The duty sergeant smiled and said. "You mean Antonio's lost sheep. It's okay we can track him if he's wearing that terrible jumper of his."

Ricardo snorted and Jude smiled "Yes but that so called lost sheep happens to Ben Evans." The duty sergeant's mouth fell open in surprise and Jude carried on quickly. "Before you say anything it is on a need to know basis because we need to keep it **very** quiet. He does not know who or where he is and might suffer from blackouts if frightened."

"**Oh hell!**" The duty sergeant said and got his mind into gear and asked. "I assume you don't want him shadowed when he's out and about." Jude shook his head and the sergeant thought for a moment and suggested. "We could give Antonio a phone which would get straight through to the car outside the Mission, rather than having to go through the switch board and they will be able to put out a direct call or go there to assist. We will need to know where they are going and how long they are going to be out and about. I would suggest we use a marked car outside the Mission otherwise people will think we are on the make or something and keep calling in. Anything in particular that might make Ben run?"

Ricardo said quickly, "Firecrackers." both Jude and the sergeant looked at him so he continued. "He ran last night when some went off and ended up at the Mission, he loses memory so would be totally confused. Your men would have to calm him till Antonio, Sister Jane or Tyus arrives and no way will he get in a car."

The sergeant nodded and said quietly. "We'll use stun guns rather than ordinary guns and we will keep an ear out at the Mission just in case. I'll use experienced officers who might be able to talk him down, don't worry the last thing we would want to do is harm Ben."

Jude nodded "Okay, I like the phone idea and see if the men on the beat can do anything about the firecrackers, bring the kids in if necessary."

The sergeant nodded and left. Jude turned back to Ricardo as a thought struck him. "If Ben is a danger to himself or anyone else shouldn't he be in Cedar Oaks."

Ricardo snorted and exclaimed. "Hell! No. A it's a building. B that woman is a menace and she'd love to have Ben on the couch."

Jude could not help a chuckle and Ricardo realised what he had said. "No not like that!" and sighed. "You know, all **that** woman wanted me to do that Christmas Eve was to go through what I did and how I felt again and again and Ben does not want that. The only thing that saved me was my family and Gabi getting me out and standing by me and I reckon that is the only thing that will bring Ben back."

He sighed and came out of his memories and said slightly more calmly. "Charles thinks Antonio and Meg should be made next of kin or guardians but unfortunately Ben needs to understand it all to okay it and he's in no fit state to do that so he is doing it by proxy i.e. Ben found Antonio so trusts him and he left Meg his fortune so trusts her and put that before a Judge and hope it works. But if that so called doctor finds out he has no one and is likely to loss what memory he has etc she will go over Tyus's head and have him in a padded cell at Cedar Oaks saying it is the safest place for him … assuming she could get him anywhere near the building that is."

Jude nodded and said "Yeah I agree that's the last place he needs to be given the lad's history." He thought for a moment came up with nothing and added. "Okay, that's as far as we can go for now let me contact my friend in the FBI and you read up the murder notes."

Ricardo suddenly remembered and said. "Before I forget again, I've given Antonio couple of single band hand sets to use around the Mission; the cars could be tuned into that if they wanted to. Also I've asked the two missing places to ring here during the day or my other phone during the evening I hope you don't mind."

Jude smiled "No I shall need you here I'll make sure switchboard know they are to put them straight through to either of us. Has Maria been told?"

Ricardo winced. "I was hoping Antonio would see her but he quite rightly has thrown it back to me. Unfortunately I still keep itching to put her husband through the works and she knows my feelings, which does not help."

Jude laughed. "I saw her earlier she seems very happy with him I gather it's only a passing visit possibly only a few days, a week at the most. You should leave him alone perhaps you've just got a thing about men with beards or Maria's men you know big brother syndrome."

Ricardo gave him a long hard look hearing the warning and remembering Antonio's and Gabi's words a few months ago and said. "You know I think that's been said to me before, and if its beards well Ben's in trouble again till he shaves."

Jude laughed and said. "Ben may be hiding behind his but Rodney's small goatee couldn't hide anything."

Ricardo nodded understanding what he was getting at and smiled. "Glad she talked to you, we've not spoken since she left and I'm not looking forward to this."

Jude said gently. "Perhaps you should make it earlier than later, rumour mill will start whether we like it or not. By the way try not to give into temptation and sneak a visit to the Mission or Meg's in the morning."

With a very innocent expression as he started to gather up his papers he replied. "Had not thought of that, could take Cathy and Gabi for a walk. Thanks Jude."

Jude laughed taking the tease then added bringing things to a close. "**Right**, I'll make the phone call and grab another coffee while you look at Mrs Jackson's file, do you want a refill?"

Ricardo got the files Jude wanted him to read and said "Please and food if it's around."

"**And **I thought I was the boss around here." Jude muttered as he left the office.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Walking quickly through the corridors of the Mission Antonio gave a sigh as he checked his watch. It was time to collect Ben for their walk to Hank's house and wished he could use the car ... it would be so much easier. A smiled crossed his face as he pondered Ben's nickname Little Brother, it was so right. He needed watching, had no sense of time, likely to forget anything you told him and they all wanted to protect him as he took his next step back to them. Which he felt was happening little by little ... granted he was still silent but they knew through body language, nods and shakes of the head that the morning's memories and trust had not been lost while he'd slept … so perhaps they would stay….

He paused in his thoughts as he checked the yard and washroom and found them empty …. So Ben was either waiting by the kitchen area or still pottering.

As he passed the straw chair he smiled remembering how hard it had been to suppress his smile as he woke Ben for lunch. He knew it was unfair to smile but he did look funny with his cap and jumper still in place, he'd not moved at all. He'd woken as he'd gone to sleep, and only a change of breathing as he'd quietly called Ben's name was all that told him he was awake. Antonio knew Ben needed that shield to relax and the porch where he could have lain in private was for last resort only, and he hoped there would not be an argument tonight over that. Also perhaps tomorrow Ben would be able to lie on the straw bedding now he knew he would not be disturbed by strangers while he was in his yard. He would no doubt curl round his bag ….

With these thoughts running through his mind he'd come to the workstation and Sister Jane who was talking on the phone nodded to him and raised her hand trying to point in a certain direction. Antonio nodded back, stopped and looked in the direction and noticed the golden rambling rose that had always been an unruly plant was now trained to cascade across and down the low hedge. And could see the flowers which had been cut off were now in vases on the children's graves and the graves had tided up making the whole area beautiful and welcoming.

He saw a family group arrive and add their own flowers to one of the graves, when the father looked over at him and raised a hand in a brief wave, he smiled and nodded back knowing Ben's work had been appreciated. He also knew if this was Ben's idea of pottering the rest of the graves would be done in a couple of days and wondered if he could somehow keep him on after his memory returned … say once a week or twice a month perhaps.

Spotting Ben standing by his brother's grave he tucked the thought away and slowly walked over to him taking in his stance. The head was bowed and cap firmly wedged down, shoulders slouched under the jumper and his bag not only against his leg but actually on his foot and knew the man was deep inside himself. He carried on warily knowing he'd have to be careful not to startle the man when he told him they should go.

He stopped close to Ben letting his shadow show that someone was there and waited a moment then said gently. "It's Father Antonio." Getting no response whatsoever he checked no one was close to them and added quietly. "Ben, are you ready to go to Hank Cummings' garden now?"

Ben stayed silent giving only a short sharp nod before reaching down to pick up his bag and then slung it over his shoulder. Keeping his head down he started to turn away from the grave then stopped and Antonio heard a soft emotionless husky, "Father, I killed him … our fingers were on the gun which was between us as we fought … my fingers … his pressure … can still feel it against my body as it fired … hear the noise in my head … he rejected me as he died."

Antonio felt his stomach and mind lurch. What could he say to him 'you are forgiven … it was the right thing to do', or just silently be there for him, but that didn't seem to be enough and briefly wondered if it was their twin connection that had brought him here, made him tend that grave first and asked gently "Do you know who he was?"

Still head down Ben nodded and answered steadily, "Derek, my identical twin. I loved him in spite of everything, always will. I'm sorry I did it, but he would have killed again and I would have lost the person I love more than life itself." A shiver ran through him as he finished talking and he then walked towards the path that led to the Mission gates as though nothing had been said.

Antonio stood for a moment stunned, almost not believing what he had heard or the hint of understanding and acceptance that was in Ben's voice and made the whole thing even more unnerving. He took a deep breath and got control of his thoughts knowing by that shiver and body language the moment, words and memory were gone, possibly buried deep inside the man and walked quickly to catch him up before he walked out the gates to go to Hank's garden.

oxoxo

As they walked side by side out onto the road Antonio saw Ben shiver again and drop back a bit instead of beside him, which was fine by him there would be no scares about crossing the road. But then he wondered if they should be doing this at all especially if Ben's memories could break through at any time. Perhaps they should leave it till morning let him sleep on it and turned to suggest it to him when he saw a sharp shake of the head of 'no', almost as though the man could read his mind and was dead against returning to the Mission. He decided to ask him anyway just to make sure. "Are you sure you are okay for this Ben?"

He saw a sigh in body language and the sharp nod as an answer 'yes' so quickened his pace deciding to be on guard, knowing he had to trust the man even in his closed state and that was a very definite yes. As they passed the police car he got a nod from the officer and knew they would be ready if he called and double checked he had his phone in his pocket and prayed the firecrackers and loud bangs of any kind would have the night off.

It had been decided to take the longer quiet route avoiding the town centre so he started to enjoy the comfortable silence between them and the walk in general. After a while though he started to get slightly edgy … watching everyone who passed them and said good evening … wondering if they knew who was walking with him and that was why they were out and about. Which was daft … no one did and they could not recognise Ben … none of the visitors at the Mission had so the word could not have got out ... yet. Oh he knew it would no matter what they did to try and stop …it always did and to the wrong people as well.

Once again his thoughts, their silence and walking stopped as Ben started coughing again. Antonio waited for it to stop and mulled things over - this was the second coughing fit was worse than the last and they were not quite half way. So they could turn back as the next one could be worse. He could not order Ben back so once the coughing finished he said. "Sure you are all right, we can go back to the Mission and rest and the garden can wait. They will understand."

Ben gave a definite shake of the head as in 'No' and started walking forward quickly.

Antonio gave an almost silent huff and quickly caught up and took that slight lead in order to slow the pace so Ben would not get out of breath or start coughing again. He knew they would go come what may, he'd seen that silent sigh in body language and the definite shake of the head and knew he'd just been told off for fussing … again … Oh joy. Oh joy.

oxoxo

Meg pulled up outside her parent's next-door neighbour's house and tried to calm down. It had been one of _**those**_days ever since she had heard about Ben, so much so she had had to rush to get here and _**now**_her father's car was where she wanted to put hers. _**And**_she really didn't want to have to walk to the house only to have to walk back again to move her car in a minute; _**he**_ knew she was coming for goodness sake!

Out of the corner of her eye she spotted the net curtains of the neighbour's house move and huffed. **Great **they were getting twitchy and she'd only been there less than a minute, as if her car would spoil their view or cause congestion. It was only a quiet road for heaven sake! Feeling cross she found her phone and speed dialled her father's phone.

When her father answered she said in a heated rush. "Dad why is your car outside!"

Her father laughed and said "So you can put yours in the garage."

"**Dad!**" She exclaimed thinking of the hassle they would have when she wanted to go home later.

Her father said with a sigh that told her he thought it was **way** too obvious for words but he would explain. "Ben gave you that car sweetie, he might react to it. I opened the garage doors so you could drive straight in … Oh and don't forget to stop before the end wall, your mother is in the kitchen cooking."

She laughed at her father's cheek suddenly feeling better and switched off the phone and drove into the garage, got out and pulled the door shut.

As she got to the front door of the house, it was opened by her father who gave her a hug and said. "Ben will be here soon so I'll move my car and then we must talk. Go stop your mother from feeding the five thousand she's done enough for three thousand already."

She broke the hug and went through to the kitchen and laughed, dishes of food were on the side and table and her mother was just getting a tray of biscuits out of the oven.

Joan said defensively. "They are Ben's favourites Antonio can take some back and they improve with keeping. Don't pick they are hot."

Meg gave her mother an 'oh so' innocent look and found a cup cake on the side table and took a bite, Joan laughed and admitted "Well you know me I cook when I'm worried and the others will be over later. How's your day been?"

Between mouthfuls Meg unwound. "Utter chaos and a rush ever since I knew Ben was around. … We had a coach group who just couldn't make up their minds what to buy and then a seller wanted me to look at everything in his damn catalogue … and of course Sara has not rung with news … but that didn't stop everyone else phoning with questions, orders etc … making me rush to the phone and the others asking why … and me not being able to say a word but wanting too … then the traffic was bad… and I couldn't find the right jumper and jeans." She sighed and smiled adding. "Mum, he's home and I feel good about it."

Joan gave a gentle understanding chuckle as she finished putting the biscuits out to cool and moved towards another dish of food.

"Meggie." Hank called from the lounge doorway.

Meg turned knowing that word and tone - it was the one he used for bad news when she was young, so she got in first and all of a rush which was never a good thing when talking to her father. "Dad, I know he can't remember me but he will and it will be all right he's home and safe, the person who hurt him is dead and I know he will feel guilty about the missing months but I know it will be fine." She stopped for breath and hoped it came out right.

Hank shook his head with a smile knowing those 'rose tinted glasses' were on, and said gently. "Meggie, we don't know that and don't expect him to walk into the garden and remember you or me."

"Dad! …"

He became very serious and carried on not letting her finish. "No sweetie, Tyus says he loses his memory frequently as in every day and sometimes during the same day."

Meg butted in forcefully. "Then I will be with him and remind him, we will work it out Dad! I know I love him. … Yes it's a bit late and it took him leaving leave me to find out just how much … **but** if I have to find a mobile home and follow him as he walks the roads then I **will** do it!"

With Joan's gently chuckle in their ears Hank smiled and came over to his daughter and hugged her and said gently. "Well let's hope it will not come to that. Will you stay tonight?"

She loved that hug and knew she needed it, her words were true but she still felt shaky, as she broke from it she said. "For tea, then I will see. How long before they arrive?"

He glanced at the wall clock and then said. "Well, Sister Jane rang five minutes ago so we've got about five to ten minutes, go help your mum get things ready then when you hear me show them round the side come through quietly and be ready to be introduced. **Remember **you do not know him unless he acknowledges you and even then be careful. There is a chance he will just walk straight off to start work in which case I'll do the introductions at the table. I expect Antonio will sit with us as Ben works so we can find out how things are then."

Meg nodded feeling all of a flutter and went back to help her mother.

oxoxo

After Meg had helped her mother put the meal in the oven for later, they took it in turns to tidy up and look through the nets in the front window to see when Antonio and Ben crossed the front lawn to the side gate. Doing her bit of tidying up she heard her mother's excited gasp so ran across the lounge and stood beside her hardly able to breathe as they watched the pair arrive. Her racing mind recognised Antonio and saw the man just that half step behind him and plummeted into truth and not her rose tinted version she clung onto. He was not her Ben just dressed differently, bearded and a little lost. … No he was the closed up traveller she did not know at all … and would not know her...

She felt her mother take her hand and lead her out the room, half hearing her reassurances that everything would be all right … just not today … perhaps tomorrow and he needed her understanding not pity even if she was Meg the stranger to this stranger.

Half hidden by the gazebo they stood waiting hand in hand - Meg feeling a lump in her throat and her heart beating fast and loudly with the words 'Why didn't I know I loved you so much?' running through her mind. The words stopped and anticipation to hear his voice so he would become her Ben once more hit a new high as she heard the men's voices come nearer.

Hearing "Ben, I've bolted the side door, no one can come through without our knowledge." she briefly wondered why Antonio would say that and then heard him carry on. "Hank's wife Joan and daughter Meg are here we'll meet them later when you stop for a drink."

'Damn!' she thought and felt her mother's grip tighten on her hand and heard her mother's gentle quiet voice in her ear "We knew that might happen, trust Antonio Meg, and **breathe**."

She smiled and managed a nod then a sigh as she heard her father start to explain that he needed the flower beds tided and new flowers put in and everything was out ready but he could leave it if it was too much for him. She caught her breath again as she saw Ben hesitate for a brief moment as they walked by the gazebo, and wondered if he could see or sense her. She pined knowing she really needed to see his face and all she could see was the cap down over his eyes and the dark beard …

She felt her mother's grip and gentle push they needed to move back towards the house and walked a couple of paces still looking at the men who were now well into the garden. She saw Antonio who had dropped behind give a small shake of his head and a smile, and knew it was a 'stop and be quiet' one. So she stood and waited watching Ben look round the garden to see where things were and wondered if there was any sense of recognition or even that he could see anything with that dark blue baseball cap was so far down over his face. But then again he was taller than she was so height help …

Thoughts stopped and her heart nearly leapt out of her mouth as she saw Ben slip his bag off his shoulder and Antonio silently stop Hank from reaching out and taking it, then that jumper came off and was dropped on the path. She stifled the gasp of pure anticipation of what she knew was underneath that shirt and of seeing her Ben properly hoping that cap would come off.

But no.

As soon as the jumper was left on the path he put the bag over his shoulder and walked off to the far end of the garden only stopping to pick up some tools that had been left out for him.

Damn.

She started to breathe again as she saw Antonio gently guide her father up towards them and heard his gentle voice say. "That was good; the jumper must stay where it is, if he runs for any reason he will come across it and pick it up. See, it's in direct line to the gate, which is his only exit and we must not block it. You never know the cap may come off later; it gets tucked into his waist band. He wears both at the Mission because there are people around by doing this here and now I know he feels safe, might even recognise it, deep down and without realising it himself."

Reaching them he nodded a greeting and continued knowing his voice was helping them. "He keeps the bag with him at all times, it's either on his shoulder, by his feet or very close by when he mowed the Tyus's lawn. He told Tyus it tells him what to do which is a bit worrying but I've not seen him talking to it or it shout at him so don't worry. Let's sit down and talk while he works." As Joan and Hank started to walk away Antonio added gently. "Meg to earth."

She laughed and started to follow them she'd heard the gentle order in his voice that she was needed here not at the other end of the garden where she really wanted to be right now.

oxoxox

"Oh that feels so good" Antonio sighed as he sat on the chair at the table and the others found chairs so they could watch the worker as ordered.

Sitting down and hearing Antonio's normal reaction to what was going on helped Hank get over the shock and helped him realise the worse was over. They weren't waiting anymore and yes if his daughter needed protecting from the man he would but he also trusted her now and asked gently, lightly and in sympathy. "Been a long day?"

Antonio snorted and added. "I'll say so. Up early by my standards, found out he got up even earlier and was Ben and then later Tyus calmly says I could sleep when he sleeps. Ha! if it was just Ben and me yes but with everyone else around … Oh No… as for being in a house of peace and quiet … soon as I lay down a herd of elephants walked through the Mission … tried again and a smaller herd went by. **And** everyone wanted me to clear things up so I can be with Ben … of course they can't clear it up can they it's my stuff." He gave a gentle huff. "So I guess I managed to sit down for about five minutes and that was lunch time and don't even mention the walking."

Joan smiled in sympathy and Hank chuckled feeling a more relaxed and then said looking at his daughter. "A bit like Meg's then. … Hey Meg you can stop watching him he'll not disappear." and sighed at his words and then added. "On second thoughts and knowing him."

Joan and Antonio chuckles brought Meg out of her trance and she just managed exclaim. "**Dad** that's not fair." Moved her glance to them and asked "How is he Antonio?" before sneaking another view up the garden.

Antonio answered knowing she was listening. "Don't know really, but on the whole fairly good, certainly not starved so we don't think he's been on the road too long. That cough keeps getting him so it could be breaking up … got him twice on the way over … last time told him we could go back." He gave a gentle huff and admitted. "I got told off." He chuckled at their reaction and explained. "No, not in words, he doesn't need them, body language and a short sharp shake of the head and you got your answer. He seems to close down when we go out on the road, which seems strange if he's been a traveller for a month or so."

"As long as that!" Meg gasped still keeping an eye on Ben but trying not to stare at him.

Though that idea shocked Hank he said gently. "Meg, leave him for the moment."

She knew by that tone, she really aught too, but whispered "No" watching hungrily. Ben who'd been trimming the small hedge that edged the bottom border had stood up and took his cap off and was tucking it in the waist band of his jeans, and then looked towards them. She wondered if he was checking they were there and somehow managed to resist the impulse to wave to him and saw him go back to work.

Antonio gave gentle chuckle "Guess he feels really safe here. Looks good doesn't he Meg."

She nodded not trusting her words and tried hard to get her heart to stop pounding so hard, 'looking good' was an understatement. Her father's voice brought her back to the present. "Obviously not in a chatty mood but has he remembered anything more during the day?"

Antonio became serious glad in away he would be able to talk about what happened earlier knowing it would not go any further and they would understand and answered. "Just before we came out he remembered about his twin's death."

"Oh No." Meg exclaimed with a heartfelt sigh.

Antonio nodded and carried on gently. "He knows his finger or fingers were on the trigger and his brother's fingers pressing against his making the gun go off. He can hear and feel it and knows Derek died rejecting him and he will always love his twin. He also knows that Derek had to be stopped otherwise in his words 'he would have killed the person I love more than life itself' but it was gone possibly back into the murky pool of forgotten memories as soon as the words were spoken."

Hank said gently "Did he mean Meg."

Antonio sighed. "I would think so; she was the only other person in danger down in the basement then. But whether he will be able to put the feelings he has for Meg together with the person he sees today or if that memory will come back to the top as he see her is an unknown Hank. **And** what he said must be forgotten by us till it surfaces again."

"You mean we can not make judgements on what happens." Joan said.

"Or assumptions as to what happened or what he means unless its really clear. I said a month or so but we don't know could be just a couple of days ago. His hair and beard could be just a reaction to losing Derek a need to be different from his twin and his old life. His hands could be weather beaten because he's been working as a gardener or been doing a house up somewhere. Possibly walked out because of this accident concerning the girl and people are just beginning to miss him. Charles or Jude could get the paper work tomorrow regarding the car if he was involved or if it's parked somewhere it should not be.

We don't know, we don't even know if the same girl is involved because his memories are messed up. We have to wait for Ben to remember and sort it out or Ricardo to come up with the story from the cards I've given him so we can match them up get something concrete to go on. It's a wait and see game I'm afraid."

Trying to concentrate on the group rather than Ben Meg said quietly "But he knew her."

Antonio smiled. "As a friend of a family I expect Meg, he did say she read to him by a pond… could be years ago or it could have been days ago. I know you had your fears Meg and sometimes shouted at him thinking he had moved on without you. Now he's here put them away and their guilt, they are normal everyday fears that people have when someone they love disappears and then comes back."

Meg nodded feeling oddly contented by his words and asked. "Has he blacked out at all?"

Antonio shook his head as he said. "No but he does not need to, to forget … it seems to happen in a blink of an eye. As he did at Derek's grave, just walked away subject closed and forgotten. It's unnerving but as long as he can see his next step it's okay."

"And if he doesn't?" Hank asked gently realising that Antonio wanted… needed to talk things through.

Antonio sighed and said honestly. "Don't know. Possibly just waits till something happens, something comes back, we'll just have to wait and see. I've got Tyus's phone number on speed dial and another one which connects me to the police car stationed outside the Mission they can get me help immediately if needed. I've given him a card with my telephone number and the address of the Mission, who he is and how to treat him should we lose him. So I think we have things covered. I know our secret would be out but the police looking for him would take care of that anyway."

Hank nodded taking it all in and said "Strange not to know who you are and what you are meant to be doing or done."

Antonio smiled and said. "Yeah, a bit like losing your keys."

Hank and Joan chuckled and Hank said. "Oh, the good doctor told you."

Meg looked at her father as Antonio said. "Well, just said to mention it."

Hank nodded and remembering said with feeling. "Never ever lose anything in front of a doctor. Could not remember where they were, I so hunted high and low, cursed everyone and then found them in my jacket pocket, which I'd already been to." Meg broke into a fit of giggles, her father carried on glad to see the tension broken. "Hey you can stop that madam. I bet you've done something like it before now and **you** are younger."

Joan asked "Does Maria know about Ben."

"Yes Ricardo is telling her when he gets the chance."

"That should be fun for him." Meg said as she stopped laughing.

Antonio sighed. "Yeah bring them together I hope. Has Charles been in touch Hank?"

"Yes, he's talking to a Judge first thing in the morning but things are looking good he's found another case of two people being appointed guardians in another State so he's getting more details. I suppose most of Sunset will know about it by the morning."

"Hope not, the police are keeping it on a need to know, although I've been giving people second looks as they come towards us on the way here. The people visiting the Mission are being watched gently guided by the Sisters etc, mind you they give him a wide berth guess the jumper puts them off. **But** as long as the people at Cedar Oaks and Bette don't find out I think it will be okay."

Meg said quietly. "Bette can keep a secret especially if it concerns Ben and Tyus can reassure anyone at Cedar Oaks that Ben is safe in your care."

"Hope so." Antonio said and they sat quietly watching the worker.

When Ben finished the top boarder Joan got up and said. "I'll get the drinks and biscuits, which reminds me Antonio I've baked a few extra for Ben."

Both Hank and Meg snorted a laugh, which made Antonio smile as he replied "Thank you Joan and a few other things as well no doubt."

"Oh half the town could be fed tonight quiet easily." Hank teased gently.

Joan said as she walked into the house. "Well that's one less for tea tonight then."

The three of them laughed and went back to sitting and waiting … after a moment Hank said quietly "He's not bad you know."

Antonio smiled and said. "I'm wondering if I can make him carry on doing the Mission once he's back with us."

"There's always penance." Hank said with a smile.

"Dad!"

"Only joking sweetie. Perhaps he buried the knowledge along with his past when he first came here and now it's time for a change. You could always do something with the Garden Centre with him if he cannot settle in town. But don't think about it now just concentrate on him."

Antonio chuckled as Meg gave a very bright "Yes Dad!" Which made Hank sigh and ignore them.


	9. Chapter 9

Dakota - Pleasure … hope you enjoy this one.

oxoxox

**Chapter 9 **

Antonio got up as Joan came out with the tea and said, "I'll go and get him as we don't want the neighbours knowing his name, he might not know it anyway or realise we are calling him."

They watched the one way conversation and knew Ben was coming by the nod, as they got closer Hank started to try and get Antonio's attention but he shook his head so Hank stopped and watched the men.

Antonio carried on towards them and Ben walked over to the tap on the wall near the shed to wash his hands.

Hank asked Antonio as he sat down. "Did you tell him how to turn the tap on?"

"No I assumed he's used it before and thought I'd see what happens. See how good his subconscious memory is."

"Yes he has." Hank answered and then carried on slowly realising Antonio tactics. "So he has to ask for help if he can't remember and if he remembers the old Ben is just below the surface still." Antonio nodded as Hank added with a slight grin. "Oh very clever, Father."

Meg said quietly. "That's not fair the tap's a pig of thing to use, I have to get Dad to do it for me."

They watched quietly as Ben had no trouble turning it on and off to wash his hands then dried them on the towel beside it and then walked towards them.

Watching this Meg felt the rise of anticipation surely he would speak if he felt 'that' comfortable here, and studied him taking in the beard and remembered the times in their past when he was hurting and had stopped shaving for a day or so, and realised that was his way of dealing with it. Then she saw his eyes and felt a small shiver run through her they were soulless and dead.

Joan like her daughter noted the difference and guessed how her daughter was feeling but stayed still and silent knowing comforting at the wrong time could break her and possibly confuse him.

Antonio also watched and waited leaving Ben a choice of an empty chair, which was a little way away from them so he would not feel trapped but was close enough to reach the table or he could sit on the rockery wall and be away from all of them.

Hank decided to take the intuitive and knowing the man always used the word biscuits instead of cookies said quietly. "Ben, come sit and grab a mug of tea and biscuits." Then showing him who was who carried on "This is my wife Joan; she made the biscuits and this is Meg my daughter." Joan and Meg gave slight smiles a nod at their names.

Ben stay silent nodded and sat on the chair placing his bag against his leg and waited.

Hank moved the tray over towards Ben while trying to get used to being looked at without any recognition or interest. He had hoped for an answer to help break the silence knowing just how unsettling it was to be watched by a group of strangers. As that thought hit him he clutched at straws and said quickly. "Meg is part owner of a shop called Sunset Sisters, her sister Sara is the other partner … they sell all types of things from clothes to ornaments and other knickknacks. Joan and I run the Shock Wave, a cafe on the sea front perhaps you walked past it when you came to Sunset Beach."

Ben's gaze didn't waver from the mugs and there was only a slight shake of the head as he leant forward and took a mug and biscuit. To them his reaction said it all 'thanks for the food and drink but no more questions', which brought a bit of an awkward silence to the group.

Meg caught Antonio's eye and saw a slight nod and decided to try and ease the conversation along a bit as well as keeping her eyes off Ben, knowing she should not stare at him so glancing away she started. "Dad, you know that hideous green vase I ordered by mistake last month." Her father nodded letting her carry on. "We had two people wanting it this afternoon, so I've ordered another one to be sent direct."

Hank took his drink and a biscuit half expecting Joan to keep her threat of not eating her food tonight and saw her smile instead so knew he was safe it had been a tease and said. "So it was not such a bad mistake after all."

Meg laughed, "No I suppose not but I must make sure I don't mess up the order numbers again. Antonio, Sara's going to be working in the morning so if it stays dry and Ben's okay the garden can be done then. You've got my number if you need to change the arrangements haven't you?" she was surprised her voice sounded so calm because nothing else was.

Antonio smiled. "Yes, I was thinking we might come round late morning." He looked at Ben and said. "I'm hoping you'll sleep later than this morning Tyus said the pills might make you feel a bit rough so you will need extra rests."

He got no reaction from Ben who was finishing his biscuit then reached for a second one, so he turned back to Meg and carried on, with a slight roll of his eyes, which he knew Ben could not see and said. "It is light work isn't it?" He caught the slight smile on Joan's face as she watched Ben and wondered what it was about mothers and feeding people, Carmen always did it when he visited and took a biscuit to go with his drink.

Meg also saw it and tried not to laugh as she said. "Yes, tidying up and sorting out some new bedding plants I bought last week and have not got round to putting in. I got them from the garden centre that's on the edge of town we've just bought. We're thinking of making it into a working centre with accommodation, perhaps you might like to stay or work there if you are still in the area Ben."

She'd had been watching Ben as she talked and was not sure that the little nod of the head was a yes to her words or just an action as he finished drinking his tea and put the empty cup on the table. Still showing no sign that he knew she had been talking to him he picked up his bag and got up then put it over his shoulder. As he started to move away though he looked at Hank and they heard his voice for the first time as he said "I'll put the plants in then take my Master back as he's feeling a bit tired."

Hank nodded and like his wife and Meg tried heard to hide a smile, having heard the gentle tease in the husky voice though there was no emotion showing in his eyes or face. Antonio, on the other hand openly smiled and shook his head, which Ben most probably missed as he was past him but on passing Meg they heard a very quiet husky. "Should never have left you, then she would not have died." which left them all stunned.

Meg recovered first and called out gently. "Ben wait."

But he was walking away from them and there was no reaction to the call, Antonio got up quickly and put a hand on her arm to stop another call or her going to him and said gently. "The moment's gone Meg; but it's there somewhere, possibly tumbling around as he works. … I just hope Ricardo finds out about the girl soon it seems to be the main thread that stays with him and hurts him."

Hank said quietly but forcefully as they watched Ben start working on the small flowerbed. "I really want to shake him."

"**Dad!**" Meg exclaimed thinking he'd gone back to his old ways.

He smiled and added gently, "Oh not in that way, just to get that lose screw back in place so he knows he's amongst friends and so we know what's been happening to him and we can help him." He looked at them adding forcefully. "Come on, we've all thought he was fine even cursed him for staying away, sometimes thought he was living up and forgotten us altogether. Instead he's come back in pain possibly in the hope we can help him and we will this time, whether he likes it or not."

Though close to tears Meg suddenly felt better she had his support and knew what she needed to do looked at her father and said. "Thanks Dad." Then she looked over at Antonio and added. "I'm going to help him with the plants, then his master can get an early night."

Antonio said with a gentle laugh. "Yes that was Ben wasn't it." He gave a sigh adding seriously. "He **is** coming back to us but you've got to be careful about touching him or talking about your love for him, don't do it unless he starts first. Remember he might say things he does not really understand at the moment and things can be gone in moment. **But** if he does collapse don't be alarmed just stay with him I have Tyus a call away, and to be honest I would rather it was here than along the road."

Meg nodded and left them.

Watching Meg go Joan said "Before you tell us everything so we can tell Meg later. Casey is bringing the rescue truck over when his sift ends. He thought Ben might be able to ride in the back as it is open and he really needs to see Ben if only for a second and a refusal of his offer."

Hank chuckled and Antonio smiled and thought then said. "Well I suppose it might work, we'll see what happens. So, where do I begin?"

Joan laughed and said "From when you saw first saw him."

Antonio nodded. "That seems a long time ago. A figure sitting on rocks looking across the bay as the sun was setting… … … …

oxoxo

After her gentle "I'll help" and a nod from him, Meg worked quietly beside Ben enjoying his nearness and sensed he was at peace as he worked. She understood his nods and shakes of his head and sign language so she passed him the right plants, she was mindful of Antonio's caution so was careful not to touch his hand. Gradually the pleasure she felt over took her and she stated to feel they were getting a sort of oneness as they worked.

Suddenly she came back to where they were and who they were and realised their hands were touching as the last plant was handed over. She took her hand away quickly knowing it had been a light brush but even so she had felt the tingle she'd always felt at his touch. She watched waiting anxiously, heart racing needing his recognition - a spark of one, a hesitation, a look, but not a collapse. But there wasn't one, there was nothing from him not even a hesitation as he finished putting the plant in and then tidied up around it. Gathered up the other bits and pieces before getting up to put them in the compost bin … leaving her kneeling watching him.

She wondered if it had always been one way as she'd thought when Derek pretending to be Ben and touched her and she'd felt nothing. Or perhaps he needed more than just a brush of the skin … a longer touch … a holding of hands and memory. She told herself that was okay and seeing him move she knew he had lost some weight but otherwise was okay. A couple of coughs as he worked didn't sound too painful or tight and they were being treated by Tyus. Staying where she was watching him tidy up round the compost bin she knew she had to stop staring at him he'd be back in a moment for his bag and decided to gather up the tools and help him put them away.

Just as she was ready to get up, her mind fully occupied with getting up with tools in one hand, she suddenly felt a presence and a hand outstretched to help her up.

It was such a natural gesture from him, as it was for her to accept the offer of help. So she put her hand in his and started to get up feeling his strength pull her up.

Within his grasp she felt that tingle she'd always felt when they held each hands. That tingle of love and safety flow through her and for a moment as she looked into his dark eyes she thought she could see their love.

It was gone in second, the connection and support broken as he released his grip and stepped back away from her with a puzzled frown and his dead eyes showing no recognition at all.

Luckily she was on her feet and managed to steady herself but dropped the tools she had picked up and felt ripples of shock and anxiety run through her.

oxoxo

Up at the table the conversation had ceased Antonio was getting his phone out, giving a quick look at his watch remembering Tyus's words - ten minutes or if he felt safe it could be immediately after the shock and might look for a safe place to fall. It had been a shock that was obvious to all of them. Hank watched and heard Antonio say quickly and quietly. "If I need to go to Ben speed dial one for Tyus just tell him little brother is down and where we are. If Ben gets out to the road speed dial two for the police car and give them details but that will take time to come so try and watch him don't corner him. I honestly don't know if he will get violent or not so you need to have the phone and know what to do."

Hank nodded and they all waited with baited breath.

They could not hear the words but they saw Ben was talking to Meg and started to breathe again and hope.

oxoxo

Ben and Meg stood facing each other, one with an emotionless face the other trying hard to hide and control her emotions.

With his hand by his side Ben asked in a flat husky voice. "Do you do that to everyone?"

Meg ran her fingers through her hair getting it out of her face as she got her mind round the situation and that very loaded question. She quickly decided she had to tell him the truth come what may and said gently with a slight smile. "No, only to the man I love and have loved for sometime Ben."

There was not a flicker of surprise, recognition or even question just a gentle "Oh" a shift of his bag on his shoulder as he picked up the tools and then walked towards the shed to put them away now the job was done.

Meg stood there feeling totally confused and heart broken, her words had meant nothing to him and yet he felt something she was sure. She'd seen their love in his eyes for a moment; their connection was real and two-way. She sighed, feeling tears and a lump in her throat as she slowly walked back to the group and noticed time had past. He was all ready to go, even had on that damn baseball cap and jumper, the bag on his shoulder and looking towards the path round the side of the house. He wanted to go. But she didn't … if he stayed a little longer he would …

A toot from the front of the house brought her thoughts to a stop and she rubbed the tears away and started to move quicker knowing she could not keep him and must not miss this goodbye. She caught them up as her mother gave Antonio the bag of biscuits and stayed near the back as they made their way round to the front of the house. As soon as they were on the front lawn Casey got out the rescue truck.

Hank said quietly to Ben. "That's Casey we all know him and is a friend of yours."

Casey came towards them and nodded a greeting to them but spoke to Antonio. "I wondered if you and Ben would like a lift to the Mission in the back of the truck."

Antonio looked back at Ben who had just started to cough again and decided to take a risk. "Yes please I think we are both a little tired." He turned back to Ben who had stopped coughing and said reassuringly. "Casey is a lifeguard and knows how to drive with people sitting in the back and I'll be with you if that's all right with you." Because Ben's shields were up he knew it would be a nod or a shake of the head so watched and waited.

There was a little hesitation then a nod of acceptance, so Antonio said goodnight to the others and noticed a slight nod of goodbye from Ben, which he thought was another step forward.

Just the three of them went to the back of the truck Antonio went in first knowing Ben would follow and was please to find a mattress for them to sit on. He shuffled along and tucked himself into the corner as Ben got in and settled down beside him. He started to like this idea even more because Casey would wait till Ben was safely settled back at the Mission and then report back and help Meg get over her shock of what happened.

Seeing all was well Casey put the back up and started the truck and then took extra care as he drove to the Mission. As he drove he pondered over what he'd seen … knowing Ben was back was one thing … seeing him so closed up and Meg trying to hide her tears was a completely different matter and it hurt.

oxoxo

The three left on the lawn watched the vehicle drive away knowing they should move or neighbours would come out and ask awkward questions. A taxi pulled up into the space left by the rescue truck and Sara got out saving them the need to move just yet. She practically bounced out of the taxi with a bag in her hand and walked quickly over to them and as she got close said. "I need you in the back garden before the light fades."

Hank was already by Meg with his arm around her feeling her shake as she let her tears fall now Ben had gone and said gently but firmly. "You're staying here tonight Mum can go round with you in the morning." and started to lead them in.

Meg nodded her acceptance and said quietly "He felt our connection Dad I know he did but it didn't mean anything to him it was just something strange and confusing."

Hank told her gently hoping in someway it would reassure her. "Ben gave a couple of shivers as he got close to us and Antonio thinks whatever happened has gone to join the rest of the pebbles that have been thrown in today. I'll explain later lets see what Sara is all fired up about."

Sara had already taken in her sister's distress and said quietly as they neared the gazebo. "Don't ask I know less than you except Ricardo will tell you when he knows anything which is likely to be late tomorrow morning at the earliest. Gabi and I were looking at baby pictures and we decided Ben needs a small book of photos, so every time he forgets someone can remind him, who what and where.

So I've got postcards of the Mission and the beach at sunset might not be the exact spot Antonio found him, but I shouldn't think that matters as he forgets things. And we are borrowing Ricardo's instant picture camera so I need one of all of you in the garden or single ones and hopefully Casey can add one of Antonio in the morning when he collects them to see Meg's garden. If the ride back goes okay he's going to be taxi for them. I was wondering about labels with the photos so he could read the names perhaps we can put blank ones in tonight so they can write on them as new photos are added."

Hank and Joan nodded with a smile obviously liking the idea; Meg laughed feeling a bit better and asked. "Does Ricardo know you are borrowing his police camera?"

Sara smiled brightly, "No. Gabi will tell him over tea and its ex-police camera anyway. Now what do think Dad one of you and Mum together in the garden and a separate one of Meg or one picture and the three together?"

She hesitated for a moment then added with some sadness in her voice. "I'll take them because I don't think I should be in them the bump might cause too many questions and an old one and then seeing me like this would cause even more confusion. Perhaps if we meet I can have one then. We'll take one of Casey if he gets back in time otherwise he can do that at the Mission. I expect he'll wait till Ben is settled if Antonio thinks its okay."

Hank nodded and looked at Meg and said. "A separate one of Meg will be a good idea perhaps near the work he's done and then one of Mum and I near the house. So Meg, go and wash your face then come and look happy he will not understand any tears or red eyes. Sara I think it's a wonderful idea and though you are not in them you area help him. Lets get ours done we've got things to talk about as well."

Meg nodded and went indoors and the others started to sort themselves out.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

About the time Ben and Antonio were walking round to Hank's garden Ricardo parked his car near the house Maria rented for her stay. He could still hear Jude's words in his ears. "**Go and see your sister now!!**" He need not have shouted, he was going to see her, and it was not as though he had been deliberately putting it off. He had just been busy with the murder case and starting the 'time board' etc for Ben if they were needed - in fact following Jude's orders.

Okay so he was a little reluctant to go… silently hoping the phones would ring with a quick easy answer … yeah when had anything regarding Ben Evans been easy, and he knew warrants would not be quick or travelling between towns come to that. So, in all honesty morning … late morning would be the first reasonable time to have news. **And**, he had tried to call Maria, just kept getting the answer machine and what use was that … all could he say was "I need to see, you ring the police station." Nope not a good idea, it needed face to face no warning, no time to get hackles up on either side. Of course it didn't help that Jude added he wanted her account of what had happened Christmas Eve and Morning and Ben's mood at the time. Oh joy.

He sighed, stretched and pondered; he could understand why Jude needed to have an insight into Ben's mood that night, he only knew Derek's version of Ben, though he had already talked to Tyus and Charles earlier to get some general background information. And of course as Jude had oh so casually explained if he (Jude) interviewed her it would be more like an official police interview, bring back all the wrong memories, whereas with him it would be an informal brother to sister chat about what happened. … Oh yeah with their history about that time definitely an interesting chat.

He knew Jude wanted to keep the tapes from Ben to Charles, Meg and Michael private after all Ben had not gone over the edge that night, he had just gone away to mourn his brother's death and give them space. He also knew that after Bette's and Meg's calls they half expected to find two bodies in the house, murder and suicide done in the heat of the moment by either of them and that was why Benjy was crying in his bedroom. He'd also kept a very private fear to himself - that Maria had murdered Ben, his body was in the sea and that was why she broke down. He was proved wrong by the first email to Charles saying he was okay and he knew she'd just been over whelmed by events and Benjy's attitude. Since then he'd often wondered if she sensed his private fear in those intervening hours and that was why there was more tension between them than with his mother and brother. She'd always complained he was too much a cop not enough a brother when he wanted to look into Ben's past in the very beginning….

He sighed knowing he could not put it off any longer it would look really bad if she came out and found him hiding in the car so he got out hoping Rodney wasn't there. Yeah that was the other thing that got to him and in all honesty he could not understand why Rodney set his nerves on edge, but he did. … He was good for Maria, stood by her and helped her through the court appearance etc and he was just an ordinary man … nothing like Ben, which should be good right … unless he was after her money of course …

Passing their car to get to the front door he knew Rodney was not spending her money in that way and sighed. Perhaps Jude was right it was big brother, police pride and guilt all mixed up because he had not protected her from Ben in the very beginning and had been so fixated with Gabi and Antonio that he missed the change of twin this time round. So saw devils where there weren't any and didn't want to trust her judgement in a partner just in case… Where that thought was leading onto brought him up short. And he knew he had to stop thinking like that or he would fail before he began on **all **accounts.

He knocked on the door and waited anxiously, then gave a silent sigh of relief as Maria opened it. "Ricardo! The last person I expected. Do you want to come in?"

Ricardo smiled, taking in the very cool welcome and slightly harsh tone in her voice and said. "Yes please, is your husband home?"

"Yes. Does it make any difference?" Maria said turning away from him knowing he would follow her.

Ricardo heard the very defensive edge in her voice and winced knowing he had already stepped on her toes and he was only just on the doorstep. Trying to sound casual as he followed her in said. "No, but I want to talk to you about Ben and thought it would be easier done privately."

Maria didn't falter in her step and gave a short sharp. "No. Rodney knows all there is Ricardo and he's been there for me when I needed someone."

Ricardo winced at the dig and stayed silent wondering if he was the cause of her mood or an argument with Rodney which would really make this hard and was that really a dig or was it just a phrase...he had to stop second guessing things.

He need not have worried about Rodney, as soon as they entered the lounge and Maria explained why he was there, the man was up and over with a smile and a greeting.

Unfortunately that tipped Ricardo into detective mode as his police instinct was screaming everything about the smile and greeting was false. Yet his voice of reason told him to shut up, then was just a guy who'd had his privacy interrupted and didn't want to offend … knowing the history – in fact just like any other couple when police call unexpectedly only he was ….

Rodney's voice broke into his thoughts. "Can I get you a drink Ricardo …Tea or Coffee as you are obviously on duty?"

Ricardo could not help but smile at the dig about his old job or attitude and said casually. "Coffee, milk and no sugar please, as of today I work as a consultant with Jude so I'm not on duty as such. It's mostly paper work and interviews where needed." He inwardly smiled at the flash of surprise that crossed Rodney's face and turned away from him so he could concentrate on his sister and said. "Ben is in Sunset Beach."

Maria said sharply. "I suppose he's just waltzed in and told you to tell me to leave!"

Her defensiveness and anger surprised him, and he said gently trying to get into brother mode rather than detective mode. "No, nothing like that Sis, he's not been well and I don't want you ..."

Maria jumped in quickly still on edge. "I see. He's the one who walked out and I'm supposed to tip toe round him. Bet Meg's over the moon!"

Rodney came in with the coffees and put the tray on the table then handed Maria hers saying gently, "Love, Ricardo said Ben's been ill hear him out, and if I remember rightly you asked Ben to leave before Benjy woke so as not to cause any more heartache for the boy." Maria gave a nod and Rodney carried on. "Sweetheart, we knew this trip would be difficult but needed to be done, so sit down over there and relax, then hear him out." After that Rodney took his own drink and sat on the sofa next to Maria leaving Ricardo to deal with his own cup.

Ricardo took his drink wondering about Rodney, he knew the man had been trying to get under his skin while still being the perfect host, but now he was giving her support and trying to get her to hear him out. Was that for real? Or was he just proving he was the perfect husband and now would look after his wife in a time of crisis and as he, Ricardo, was family rather than a guest could look after himself. His inner voice chided him for being so suspicious wouldn't he do the same if it was Gabi … and knew he would.

To give them space he started his coffee, which was nice the real stuff not instant, and looked around the room, noting how nice it was. When Maria started drinking her coffee he saw Rodney look at him and give a nod and he knew the man had been aware of him all the time and it was all right to go ahead.

He nodded back and said. "Ben is a traveller, we think he's been on the road since sometime in March, Antonio found him on the beach watching the sunset last night. He is suffering from loss of memory, looks like it gets buried during the night, so it's a new start every day. We hope now he's on familiar ground and with friends we can get those memories to stay and eventually get the old ones to come back. He didn't recognise his own name when Tyus told him it but accepts it now. I guess you know how he feels better than we do."

"Oh Ricardo!" Maria exclaimed in shock and added with concern. "He must be so confused to lose it every day … my new ones stayed with me so I had something to ground me. … But that means he has no idea of time or the months he's been gone or why." She paused for a moment considering things then carried on a little bit hesitant. "So you think it will harm him if he sees me? …But … but I have things I need to do over the next few days after that we will be going back to Seattle … Rodney has a new job to start and I'm setting up a business."

She sighed then apologized. "Sorry about earlier … today has been awkward so many bad memories, odd looks from people as well as the odd comment said in a whisper… it's confirmed my feelings … I should to stay away from here. But I needed to see Mama and wanted to talk to you and Gabi see your daughter, I guess you know I've seen Antonio already.

Ricardo nodded and smiled hearing her real concern for Ben and the reason for her bad mood and felt that old sister brother tie come back and said easily. "Yes I did, he asks you ring if you want to see him. I suspect evening after dark would be best Ben would be asleep then, but you can always leave a message and he'll ring you back. We don't expect you to stay indoors or hide away just be aware of what is going on. So if you bump into him and there is a blank look and silence you will understand why. You know as well as I do he does not want to hurt your feelings."

At her nod he carried on. "Antonio didn't recognise him at first due to clothing, beard, longish hair and cap over his eyes. Ben had a bad cough and wasn't talking as they walked to the Mission; unfortunately some firecrackers scared him so they got separated. Even so Ben managed to find the Mission but when Antonio saw him he didn't know anything about the first meeting and the promise of a night in the porch. Ben does not like buildings very much but he slept there and in the morning he realised it was Ben and took him to see Tyus at his house. Well garden actually, he talked a bit to Tyus but nothing made much sense because of the memory loss, but on whole he's silent and does thing automatically.

We believe he's been doing garden work so he's doing Hank's garden now and Meg will be around so Antonio will find out how he reacts to them and from that we will be able to gage whether or not he can walk around Sunset Beach or meet old friends or should stay at the Mission in isolation. There is enough work round the Mission to keep him happy for a while anyway and if they do go out Antonio will be with him and is in contact with a police car should Ben run for any reason. Naturally we are not informing the world that he's back as he needs privacy. If all goes well tonight he'll do Meg's garden tomorrow and hopefully Gabi's and mine after that."

There was a pause for a moment as Ricardo got his breath back and drank some more coffee then Maria said softly, "How can I help?"

After a moment Ricardo said gently. "See him if he asks and if you meet him in the street let Antonio or Ben take the lead, don't be hurt if he does not know you at all. I suppose it's a bit like we treated you, all answers to be brief unless details are asked for and not to put our interpretation into things. Lastly don't expect any answers from him it might be just confirmation he needs … it will disappear into his mind, hopefully to come back again as a whole picture."

Maria nodded thoughtfully; Rodney sat quietly drinking his coffee taking it all in.

Ricardo knowing this would be really hard for her and was likely to be thrown out by Rodney anyway said gently. "I know it will be difficult for you but Jude has asked me to have a chat with you about Christmas Eve. He was dealing with Gregory Richards at the time … now he needs to know from you what happened and Ben's mood after you got back from seeing us and Tess at the police station. … We need to know if he was deeply troubled by the shooting because the firecrackers seemed to have set him off and possibly a step backwards."

He watched as his sister finished her drink then get up and put it on the table, her silence started to trouble him as she paced round the room, stopping for a moment by the window before starting again. He was just going to get up and go to her when Rodney caught his eye with a slight shake of his head and mouthed "let her be" so he decided to trust him and sat back and waited.

Eventually Maria said with a certain amount of tension. "Of course he was troubled by it … they were identical twins for heaven's sake! I was not there I was fighting Tess at the time so speak to Meg about it!"

She stopped pacing and looked at her brother and then sighed. "Sorry. … That's unfair to everyone. It's just that I really don't want to relive that time again having got over it. I know everyone thinks I jumped into bed with Rodney a few days after it all happened. In fact we are only just having that kind of relationship now … I used to suffer, still do occasional from bad nightmares. At the beginning I would not have known who I was sleeping with had I been with him and that would have been unfair on both of us."

Staying where he was Rodney said gently. "Love, its okay just pretend you are in therapy sitting on the sidelines watching it all. I know our love is different from the one you had for Ben, don't worry about me and I know you can do this ... you need to do this."

Maria looked across at Rodney and said very quietly. "Thank you." She turned back to Ricardo and said. "I think I'll walk as I talk … it might not come out in the right order or anything so butt in if you want to."

"Okay take your time Sis." Ricardo said in a tone she would know from earlier days.

She nodded and started to walk slowly and said. "I suppose I should go back to when I found him in the basement. That was horrible … just a shape under a blanket … I was so sure he was dead when I pulled back the blanket he looked so still, peaceful … then I found his pulse I so relieved I even thought he would love me again … But when he was coming round he called for Meg and I knew I had lost him … and everything I'd hoped for just shattered into little pieces. He was strong for me, did not fall part as he learnt the truth, fought for our freedom and lives … he became the Ben we all know and love. Concerned about us rather than himself and didn't hesitate about looking after Benjy while I came to the station to see what was happening with you and Antonio and Gabi. I suppose I assumed he would have Meg to help him after all he did go to her after making sure I was okay."

She stopped and looked at Ricardo and after a moment added. "When I came back from the station later that night I was surprised he was alone … I suppose I thought I would have to look after Benjy while he went to Meg or Meg would have been there. To be honest my mind was in a hundred places at once. Instead he sat in the lounge alone and as you can imagine there was tension but we greeted each other cordially, we did not speak about the last four months … too many demons. … What on earth could we say to each other … other than sorry it happened? … I don't think sorry was a big enough word for either of us … and we both knew we were sorry it happened … so we kept to essentials of how things were regarding my family etc.

Although he didn't say anything he knew I was having trouble seeing who he really was, Derek played him so well, and he could see my shattered dreams and my foolishness. I really thought my love for Benjy could conquer all mine and Benjy's demons … looking back I realise I was trying to keep a little bit of Ben with me as well. Even though he was not Ben's…but that's been dealt with for the best I think."

She sighed and tossed her head and carried on walking slowly. "Saying he was the Ben we know and loved is probably not enough … but that is who he was in spite of the four months he'd been shut away. He and Benjy bought and decorated the Christmas tree and did lots of other things together … he also told Benjy about Derek and Tess. He told me he had to … Benjy would talk about something and he knew nothing about couldn't lie to the child. I hadn't thought of that, and there was the television news etc … you could not keep the boy in isolation it was Christmas after all. The only thing he left out was that Derek had planned to kill him not set him free and he'd killed Derek in the fight in the basement. If think he knew he would have to tell him eventually just could not do it then … it was an awful lot for Benjy to take in. They'd put lots of presents including the ones from Tess and Derek under the tree … you know about the card for Derek's coffin.

Ricardo nodded and she carried on. "Ben liked the idea that I was adopting Benjy, he was ready to care of him if necessary that was providing Meg and Benjy agreed of course. He reckoned he would have to stay in the background while Benjy and I bonded and give him time to really understand about the twins. He said he knew Benjy was likely to be confused in the morning and would need everything to be explained to him again.

He told me he had made tentative arrangements with Michael about sharing their wedding but it all hinged on certain things coming together. Charles getting the divorce papers dealt with in the morning … a courier would come over first thing to pick them up. And if that went through he would get the dress etc sorted and ask Meg just before the wedding though not in front of everyone."

Ricardo watched his sister as she walked and silently taking in the information and made sure his feeling didn't attract her attention now she'd got into an easier flow of talking.

"He was so considerate when he discussed the divorce and Benjy's allowance; he had found the old divorce papers in a bedside table and had checked with Charles they could be used. We discussed about the house … I thought I could manage as long as I kept out of the main bedroom and would move out when Benjy was ready. Ben was going to pack some things Christmas Day and I would keep the money from the sale as the house, which had always been in my name.

To help me he had moved my things from the main bedroom into the studio … not left them in little heaps on the bed or dressing table as other people might have done. He had put them away for me … it must have hurt him doing that. …So everything was ready for a fresh start in the morning."

She sighed and for a moment stopped her pacing by the window and looked out as she carried on. "I told him everything about you and Antonio and he told me he'd been round to Meg and she had asked for the night alone. I could tell he was hurting although he had accepted it, knew she needed time to get over Derek threatening her like that … as he said she had had it twice once at the cabin with a broken bottle and this time his arm round her neck and threatened with the gun. He was so proud and grateful for her courage and actions. Then doorbell went and he got up I have no doubt he hoped it was Meg come over to say she had changed her mind. I started to walk towards the glass doors to give them space and see to Benjy should he have been woken up by the doorbell.

I was out of sight of the door when I heard loud voices male and female and a flashlight go off so went over to Ben who seemed to be stunned or blinded, I realised it was not Meg but the press. One of them suddenly yelled out "What's it like to know your uncle Ben killed your father Benjy?" Ben went mad and with my help managed to get the door shut but the damage was done. Benjy had heard the doorbell or had come out after a dream … I don't know but was standing on the landing he'd understood the words. He screamed at Ben and as Ben walked towards the stair to get to him the boy shouted that he had killed his daddy and he hated him.

So Ben stayed where he was and I went to Benjy, it took me ages to get him to calm down explain about the fight, eventually he let me go downstairs to Ben with a promise I would be back very soon and Ben would not be in the house in the morning. Of course it hit Ben like a ton of bricks, but he was thinking straight; he said he would move out before dawn sleep in the car if necessary he knew the company suite was not available and hotels were full. He'd already tried them in case I'd wanted him out the house that night. He hoped Benjy would come to love him again eventually but doubted it but I was to keep in touch and ask for what ever help I needed from him. He would arrange for people to come and pack up his things as soon as he could. It was all discussed in a matter of minutes because Benjy was waiting for me and Ben knew I had to with him.

I went up to Benjy and eventually he went to sleep and I went into my own room more than exhausted. I remember hearing music from the lounge at some point not very loud sort of background I expect he was working things out or just trying to pick up the pieces. He did not need me and I knew he was not... in danger … he was thinking of our and his future."

She paused and just looked out of the window then turned back to Ricardo. "I woke up in the morning still feeling shattered … I honestly can't remember if I dreamt or not … I knew Benjy would be around soon so I got up to check on Ben see if he had left. As I passed Benjy's room I saw the Father Christmas toys Derek and I had bought were on the bottom of the bed. So Ben had kept that promise and the main bedroom was empty and tidy … almost as though no one had been there … perhaps he hadn't.

I went downstairs it was tidy, on the table were the divorce papers with a note added about an account for Benjy's upkeep and a cheque to cover rental of a house etc so I could move out immediately. There was a short note telling me not to worry he was okay but had decided to leave the area rather than stay in town and if there were any problems to see Charles or Meg. Also that he had left recorded phone messages with them and would contact Charles by email as soon as he was settled. Hoped I had managed some sleep and Benjy would be all right. I got scared he had only talked about staying in town so rang Charles who was very sleepy but he rang his office and got Ben's message and said he sounded okay and would talk later if he survived the kids and toys.

Benjy woke up screaming but calmed down as I explained Ben had left, he got scared about the presents on the end of the bed so I explained the secret of Father Christmas and that Derek, Tess and I had bought them. He was happy as he unwrapped and played with them. He came down for breakfast saw the Christmas tree and went mad because Ben bought it, yelled he wanted his mummy and daddy not me. He also went for the breakfast things the only thing I could think of was to give him the presents his parents would have given him. He grabbed them and tore back to his room and shut me out. I could not do anything with him and he would not stop screaming till I went away.

So I told him I was going and went downstairs to the lounge and saw the mess … the gentleness and love that Ben had tried to bring to the house and Benjy … had been swallowed up by Tess's deceitfulness and Derek's death so I ran I admit that."

Ricardo said gently. "If you'd rung I or Mama and Antonio we would have helped."

She gave a gentle understanding laugh. "I know that now but then you, Antonio and Mama were trying to sort out your own troubles. I could not face Bette or the others either … and I could see Derek in his son … so I ran and ran, and ran into Rodney. He stopped me, talked to me and you know the rest … I can understand Meg's fears that something bad might have happened." She looked at him and said gently. "Even yours … and I've never really thanked you for making it possible to have it dealt with in private court rather than in public.

Ricardo gave a slight smile. "I knew the Judge would understand after all it concerned a young child." Maria nodded and Ricardo added wanting to clear it up in his mind "So Ben didn't mention about thinking of moving on or making the phone call to Michael about cancelling the wedding plan after just Benjy's screaming at him."

Maria thought for a moment then said. "No perhaps he thought of it while listening to the music. He might have been knocked for six over Benjy's reaction but he was still thinking positively, are you thinking Ben might have been like this all the time?"

Ricardo said gently understanding her fears. "No, don't think so because of the emails and cash taken out and the car was not found in a ditch. Looks like something happened in March a business deal went wrong as well as witnessing or being part of an accident finally made him take to the road. As you said Ben was looking to the future in spite of everything and we can always check his phone records if we need to get an idea of time he left Ocean Drive. I don't suppose his car leaving woke you?"

Maria shook her head "Don't think so. I don't actually know what woke me I think it was just the need to go to the bathroom but I could not be sure. It was daylight anyway and he said he would be gone by dawn. Do you know where he's been all this time?"

Ricardo smiled understanding her embarrassment "We have scraps of information about his movement and tracing them will take time in the meantime don't worry yourself about it he is safe now. Do you mind telling me what the money deal is?"

Maria said thoughtfully. "He never seems to get much peace does he? No I don't mind it was a savings deal he put together for me when we were together. … Meg and Charles persuaded me to leave it in rather than trying to cashing early. … That's where Sara got her idea I was trying to rob Meg of more money… in fact by keeping it in I think I will get more than Ben estimated so they were helping me.

I'm not going to make trouble for anyone the only anger I feel is towards Derek and he's dead … as for my missing years the doctors have told me I will never remember them now and Tess is not likely to admit to anything more than obsession and fear regarding Derek because she wants to come out in fifteen years or whatever the deal was.

I care for Ben as a friend nothing else that's what moving on is all about. I'm glad you've got part of your old job back and I expect Gabi will be pleased that the dangerous part is gone. I need to talk to you but not tonight and I need to see Mama first." She gave a gentle laugh then carried on. "I only managed a brief 'hi' between her clients today, so we booked a time for tomorrow morning I was wondering if I could see you sometime later in the afternoon with Gabi and your daughter, Rodney of course would come as well."

He was not going to refuse her so nodded his agreement and let her finish. "I guess you know my mobile number and I do need your trust as a brother Ricardo. I'm having a girls night in with Annie so there's no danger of seeing Ben tonight."

Ricardo knew she was gently getting rid of him, guessing she needed privacy and it had been a lot for her, so he got up went over and gave her a hug knowing they had forgiven the past and said gently. "Okay I understand, not too sure about tomorrow though, we are dealing with a murder case as well as gathering information about Ben so I'll ring you if it can't be done and I do trust you and I'm sorry I'm failed you."

As they broke the hug Maria said gently "You never failed me regarding Derek he had all the cards and Christmas Eve was the time everything came together for the end game. I know you mean well … just your big brother thing gets in the way occasionally … try and smother it I'm a big girl now and Rodney is okay I promise you."

Ricardo smiled and gave a nod of goodnight to Rodney who nodded back then got up and walked with them to the door.

Turning once as he walked back to his car Ricardo saw them in the doorway as a couple who loved and trusted each other and he knew he could live with that.

Once in the car and without feeling any guilt he took of the mini mike he had been wearing and stopped the tape machine before driving home. As he drove he pondered things, he knew a small tape recorder on the table would have made his sister nervous this way he got her real reaction, he would destroy the tape after he had done his report. He smiled and wondered which side of the evening meal he would ring Jude to fill him in. After all, they both knew meals, free evening rarely happened while working for the police and Jude had kicked him out of the office to do this.


	11. Chapter 11

Thanks for your comments Annie and welcome aboard. Hope you and Dakota like this one.

oxoxo

**Chapter 11 **

Casey saw the slight nod of acknowledgement Antonio gave the officers in the police car. Then he stood and waited as Antonio stopped by the gate into the Mission and demonstrated to Ben how the gate locked and unlocked and saw the answering nods or shakes of the head and then followed them finding it all disconcerting. … His friend always understood things first time round and though quiet talked when spoken to, could hold his own in most situations and didn't need protecting. … Whereas this silent traveller did and he could see from the man's body language he was comfortable and trusted Antonio and being here and had survived the truck journey.

He gave a silent sigh of relief that it had been a quiet one and he'd not been expected to drive off into the evening leaving them at the gate of the Mission…. He doubted he could have done that he would have parked up further down and walked back and spoken to the officers outside. Instead he'd got a nod from Ben that he could come in and see the porch and stay a while, at least he'd be able to reassure Meg Ben was safe … and she'd be able to rest for the night. .. No he doubted she would or he would come to that, after all his mind was already running into overdrive with questions and fears … and none of them were good….

Realising they were stopping he came out of his thoughts and looked around the dimly lit yard and as Ben started to make his way over to a small building he heard Antonio say quietly. "Ben, after you've been to the washroom we'll meet you over at the tables in the kitchen area."

They got a nod as reply and watched him walk into the building after a slight hesitation. Walking past the porch Casey looked in and saw it was okay and heard Antonio casual comment. "This yard's got everything but tv and cooker … oh look! they've added a bench … goodness knows what they'll think of next … curtains for the porch I expect."

Hearing Casey's quiet chuckle as he followed him, he knew he had broken through the shock and now he hoped his friend would start to relax let those questions and fears quieten as he realises that Ben will be all right. That he did not need a guard all the time rather friends, trust and space, after all the man had managed to find them without starving and carried on away from that thought saying. "As you saw the mattress makes the bench a bit more comfortable, though given half the chance I think he'd sleep outside especially as he used the bales as a chair. He might lay them out if he knew no one would be around, there's no canopy but if he tucks into the corner the two walls there he'll be protected by the over hang. Then if it really rains he would go back into the porch. But I'm hoping he will do as Tyus wants him to and that's sleep in the porch. I'll have to remind him about that later and hope he remembers … could be an interesting argument otherwise."

He saw Casey's smile they both knew Ben could be stubborn, and added. "I'll get some sandwiches and soup for us and you can sit and have cup of tea as you'll be eating with the rest of the family. Seeing you here will help both of you, him that you are welcome around here and you … well reassure you he's not helpless, he always has had good survival skills to have coped with Derek and start a new life out here and the storm and its aftermath."

Casey nodded knowing that was true and said hesitantly. "What do I say to him there so much I want to explain and ask?"

Antonio smiled "Yeah, just like the rest of us. But that bit will have to be squashed for the moment; he is leading us and not the other way round. You being here hopefully will waken any memories or threads as he calls them, don't worry too much if he starts to shiver as he talks or after you've said something. I call it a stone going into his muddy mind but don't tell him that. … Sister Jane might put in an appearance she's taken him under her wing." He saw Casey's smile and carried on. "Yeah I know … don't let her size or age fool you… she's not called mother hen for nothing only don't tell her I told you either."

Casey chuckled "Scared of her peck."

Antonio laughed. "No, not really, as for what to say to him, Hell I don't know it's all new to me, just don't expect answers and keep it casual, perhaps instinct will tell you, nothing complicated that's for sure. We'll keep this kitchen porch light on through out the night and that's our worktable so we can watch him during the day. Don't know what we'll do if it rains ... sit in his porch and play cards perhaps. I'll be back in a moment as I expect Sister Jane's left the soup on the side, yell nicely if he wanders off I don't want to lose him."

Casey laughed and nodded, in the quiet he let his mind drift back over the past months and what he knew about Ben so far, which was very little. He was still miles away when he felt and subconsciously knew Ben had sat on the bench on the other side of the table and nearly jumped out of his skin when a soft flat husky voice asked. "Father left for the night?"

He looked towards his friend and smiled, seeing him for the first time without his cap and said. "No, Father Antonio has gone for food and drink he'll be back in a moment. Was the drive in the back of the truck all right?"

Ben nodded then said. "Know you."

Casey felt the flutter of anticipation as he replied. "Yes you do … we are friends my name is Casey Mitchum and I'm married to Sara, Meg's sister." and stopped wondering if he'd said too much but it felt so right to say it... rounded off the family connection.

Ben looked towards the porch and as he got up said, "Good you suit each other."

Casey felt totally shocked and confused guessing Ben had now forgotten him as he was now walking over to the worktable where Antonio had left a paper bag of something. Fascination took over his confusion as he watched Ben pick up the bag and walk back to their table put it down and then sit down and resting his arms either side of the bag. The man's attitude said that the bag was his and he was going to keep it come hell or high water. And he was sat so he could watch Antonio who was coming out with the tray of soup and sandwiches.

Antonio didn't turn a hair at the situation he just put the tray on the table smiled and said casually, "I was wondering if you would like those biscuits put in the kitchen and you could have them as extras during the day or at meal time."

Watching Antonio through out and though he remained silent and with an expressionless face his whole body language screamed at them "Hands off these are mine!" Ben shook his head and put his bag, which had been slung on his shoulder on his lap and put the paper bag in it. Then he wrapped the strap over his arm so he would not be parted from it and put it on the bench beside him and furthest away from them.

Antonio fought hard to stop a chuckle knowing full well Ben's actions were in earnest and he needed reassurance and said. "That's okay no one here is going to take your food or things away from you; just don't eat them all at once. I'll just get Casey's cup of tea, you can start your soup and sandwiches Ben."

Ben watched him go then started to eat.

Casey sat watching wondering what to say it was so confusing one moment it was as if Ben knew him the next he or they were people who were likely to pinch his food and now it was as if he was alone with his soup and sandwiches... nothing else mattered or was known about.

Antonio set Casey's mug of tea on the table and started on his own soup and sandwiches and said quietly. "I take it you've not introduced yourselves yet."

Casey smiled and said quietly "Ben spoke said 'know you' it was flat expressionless so I introduce myself and told him Sara and I were married and she's Meg's sister. He said he thought we were suited then before I could think of anything to say the bag on the table intervened."

Antonio looked at him in surprise and nodded with a smile and said. "That's really good; he obviously saw the bag and remembered then acted and made sure I knew they were his. Surprised he didn't speak to me … but that's him all over … totally confusing. Your words hit a nerve brought the old Ben back for a moment; it's all buried and churning around in there somewhere." He then added quietly. "You know I would really hate to have to take him shopping."

Casey smiled at that and as there was really no reply to it they ate and drank in silence enjoying just being together.

That is till the silence was broken by a quiet. "You all seem to know me but I look in the mirror and see a stranger."

Though shocked Casey managed to put his tea down and gave a quick glance at Antonio before turning to his friend, who was still looking ahead of himself rather than at them. He'd never realised you couldn't know yourself and got an idea and said gently. "Ben, the last time I saw you, you didn't have a beard and your hair was shorter. Perhaps if I asked your barber to come in the morning and cut your hair and give you a shave, then when you look in the mirror you might recognise yourself and it will help your memories stay or just make you feel more settled."

At his name Ben had looked at Casey and listened, though without expression, then he looked at Antonio, who nodded and said reassuringly. "He could bring a photo of you so you can see yourself before you decide what to do."

Ben's nod turned into a coughing fit which was soon over and Antonio handed out two pills and a cup of water and said firmly. "Dr Robinson said you need these for your cough. As it's getting easier you'll only need one three times tomorrow and the next day at least."

The pills stayed on the table by the cup and Ben looked at Antonio straight in the eye, his hand resting by his empty plate.

Antonio held the man's gaze almost seeing the silent argument going on in his head in spite of the expressionless eyes and face. He knew to look away now would mean Ben would not take his pills or do what he wanted him to do later, barely breathing he waited and hoped.

The tension between the pair was eventually broken by a small nod from Ben who then took the pills and water.

As soon as the cup was put back on the table Antonio carried on as though nothing had happened "Tyus also said you needed to rest in the porch so I think you should go to bed now you've finished your food and make a late start in the morning. Let me come and get you rather than starting work at the crack of dawn. Don't forget just ring the bell in this porch if you need anything during the night, I'll be around later as I usually do check of the gate etc but don't stay awake for it."

There was a quiet "Yes Father." as Ben got up and put his bag on his shoulder and a couple of clearing coughs as he walked off his yard.

Antonio and Casey looked at each other with smiles and then Antonio exclaimed softly. "So, you heard it as well!"

Casey still smiling nodded and with a gentle tease in his voice confirmed. "You mean the 'yes daddy' rather than the 'Father' of the church. Definitely a touch of the old Ben who **hated** being fussed over … remember Bette when he had the flu."

Antonio chuckled and nodded then said "Strange I never really thought about looking in the mirror and not knowing yourself or that he would realise it or question it. I should have after all I know his memory's not there."

Casey said "Yeah know what you mean I always thought it was automatic you look and see yourself and you knew yourself regardless."

Thinking back Antonio commented. "I wonder if that's what Tyus was looking for this morning, curiosity or realising that you've missed something and you want it back."

Casey pondered for a moment then said. "Could be, its funny you can almost see the old Ben poking his head out to see if its all clear then suddenly unsure ducks back in. … So now we wait till the next time … and grab him"

Antonio gave laughed adding softly. "Some hope, yeah it's been like that all through the day." then turned serious. "Only it's been memories about Derek's death and I hope the good ones stay in the morning. You know I really hate the idea of having to repeat myself again and again."

Casey smiled realising something else and said. "You add to it each time."

"Yes I'll have to … which will start confusing me … let alone him. But the good thing was he recognised me lunch time so it might just be once in the morning and then the abbreviated version … me Antonio you Ben … which would be great."

Casey could not resist the tease. "Just remember not to get between him and his biscuits though." then asked. "I don't suppose Ricardo's been in touch."

In spite of the seriousness of what might have happened Antonio laughed then sighed, "Yeah. And you can tell that to Joan I'm sure she'll be pleased. Ricardo left a message he'll try and pop in when we are round Meg's but it will depend on when Paul gets back from his travels and what information he comes with, **and** if anything happens in the murder case he's helping with. Come on I'll walk you to your truck and then I think I'll check on Ben to make sure he's in bed before catching up on other things."

"Yes, Father."

"Casey!" Antonio exclaimed with a laugh hearing 'that' familiar tone in his friend's voice.

Still bantering teases between them they walked through the gate to the Rescue Truck, seeing the police car Antonio waved to the officers and mimicked sleep and got a nod from one. After saying goodnight to Casey he turned to walk back to the Mission then stopped tuned back and said hopefully. "I don't suppose you could give us a lift to Meg's I think he might need it."

Casey smiled and resisted asking if it was for Ben or him and said. "Yes, as soon as I knew what was going on I delegated everything I could … left myself with paper work and a meeting which is late afternoon but it should not take long. So I can be with you whenever you like and you've got my phone numbers."

"Thanks, he'll be back here in the afternoon I want him to rest then as we might need to go for a walk in the evening there is a service on. Got a feeling loud organ music and voices might worry him. Have you told the lifeguards that Ben is back?"

Casey could understand that and said. "Only my chief and he'll stay silent but I think word is going to get a round."

"Yes it's bound to I just hope people will leave us alone."

"I think they will. I'll bring a photo of Ben and the barber with me so it might be before he opens up in the morning."

"That will be great I've no doubt we will be around can't see him sleeping too late. I know you'll tell Meg how things are reassure her he will be okay."

Casey nodded and got in the truck while Antonio walked back through the gate stopping only to make sure it was closed properly before walking round the side of the Mission to check on Ben.

oxoxo

Antonio saw Ben standing in the archway of the porch looking at his bed, and called his name softly so as not to startle the man. When Ben looked up Antonio realised there was a puzzled expression on his face and asked gently. "Are you all right?"

The puzzled expression cleared and Antonio heard softness in Ben's voice as he said. "You married us in the Chapel. She told me in her father's garden after we touched she loved me and yet I left her."

Antonio felt the now familiar flip in emotion realising Ben was connecting a memory of Meg in the past the one from today and that meant the two Bens were coming together and said gently. "Yes I did and all your friends were there, Casey who was here just now was your best man." And silently hoped Ben would not remember everything else that happened that day just the good bits.

Ben turned away looking towards the Mission wall and windows and Antonio thought the chain was broken but then heard Ben's gentle words "I remember her, dressed in white, she was beautiful as she walked towards me" and saw a shiver run through the man's body. When Ben turned back to him the eyes were emotionless but the voice showed a hint of the emotion as he carried on. "I'm scared Father … if I sleep I will lose her again just like everything else" there was another pause and sigh of defeat, "but then I don't deserve her because I will only bring her pain."

Antonio could hardly believe the jump his friend was making back to them and said gently. "Meg is not a thread. She is real just as you and I am. You will not lose her, you love her deeply and she knows that. You left Sunset Beach for a while to grieve for your brother but you trusted her with your future and fortune, she has and will wait for you.

Trust us to help you find your way back. You are safe here and hopefully the threads of all the things that have happened today will come together as you sleep. Should you lose them then I will talk you through everything that has happened today even take you back to Tyus's and Hank's gardens, Casey will be here in the morning and you will be seeing Meg tomorrow."

Ben looked away from him and back to the bed in the porch, so Antonio put his hand on his friend's arm as he carried on hoping the physical support would help. "You need to sleep to get better and we are not going to leave you. This morning you did not know me, lunch time you knew me as Father who you met on the beach yesterday; soon you will know me as the friend and brother you have known for a long time."

Ben looked at him, and Antonio saw a slow smile, another sign that the old Ben was there even if it didn't reach his eyes, but the gentle insecure words he heard were not the Ben he knew. "You would all do that for me?" they were from the stranger.

Antonio said gently without any hesitation. "Yes … and a lot more, you have nothing to be scared of or feel guilty about Ben. Now if you are ready for bed I will wait till you are settled if you like."

"Tuck me in and read a story." Ben said quietly as he moved towards the bed.

Antonio smiled and sat on the other bench, remembering that gentle tease that had been between in their early friendship but stayed silent. He found it fascinating and reassuring watching Ben pull back the blanket, slip his bag off his shoulder, sit on the bed take off his shoes tuck them and his cap in his bag. Then wind the strap of the bag around his arm and tuck to his chest as he lay on his side tucking his legs up on the mattress leaving the blanket down by his feet and silently looked at him.

He gladly took the hint and picked up the blanket and covered his friend as far as his shoulders, as Ben had not moved he wondered if he was okay and was just going to put his hand on his shoulder and check when he heard a gentle. "She did and then she died."

Antonio felt a cold shiver run through him and crouched down beside his friend so he could see those dark empty eyes and asked gently. "Who did what Ben?"

The reply came softly; the eyes did not blink or show emotion. "Betsy, she read to me beside the pond."

Antonio remembered Ben's threads might be faulty and said gently. "Ben, she might not be dead, remember you said your head hurt, perhaps you lost your memories or threads as you call them of what really happened. It could be the ambulance men took her to hospital and she recovered. Don't mourn for her till we know the truth and then if needs be we will mourn together if not then we will find her together. You are not alone and Ricardo will find out has happened."

There came a gentle quiet "Thank you" before Ben closed his eyes and was asleep.

Antonio stayed crouched on the floor shocked by the flash of deep trust he had seen just before those eyes shut. He then gently laid a hand on Ben's shoulder and said softly with full emotion. "Watch over him tonight and bring him back to us quickly so we can help with his pain."

Then he got up and went out into the darkening evening and looked up into the sky and added "Help me, help him" and walked back into the Mission wondering who to phone first Tyus, Jude or Ricardo. Thinking about it he suddenly needed to hear his brother's voice, have a family chat possibly get him to ring Jude and then ring Tyus, then shower change into fresh day clothes and sleep downstairs just in case Ben … his brother needed him.

oxoxo

Meg sat in bed in the spare room at her parent's house feeling like a child, doing as her mother gently ordered so she could sleep tonight. Hence the mug of hot chocolate on her bedside table and a note book on her lap and pen in her hand ready to write her thoughts about the day.

She rebelled for a moment and looked across the room out at the dark night sky with the stars glittering back at her, usually she would have pulled the curtains but tonight she wanted to know that she could see the same stars as **he** could see… if **he** had been a wake. She smiled at the brief phone call Antonio had made and his anxiety that she should remember her soulmate might forget it by the morning but tonight he had remembered her in the Mission on their so-called wedding day … her touch and love had got through to him after all.

She sighed and snuggled back into the pillows hoping that he could feel some comfort in the mattress that he slept on … what did Antonio say it like was a light bulb being switched off … that had some good points if you are on hard ground surely.

She shivered at where her thoughts were taking her … her parents had told her not to go there … after all they didn't know whether he actually slept on the roadside nor for how long he had been like this … most likely to have been only a short while because people would have worried … the phone call to Charles or the police would come tomorrow.

She looked down at the blank page then wrote.

_Dear Ben_

_Mum told me to write my thoughts about you today so you could read them if you wanted to. I don't think she meant me to fill the page with 'I love you and I'm sorry I did not fully understand our love but I do now. Forgive me … love me.' Nor the question did you sleep on the roadside, which I've just thought of._

_My feelings about today … well they been in chaos … but we've done chaos before haven't we … the difference this time is I know I love you and don't want to hurt you ever again by walking out on you. And I know you love me though I don't think you actually realise it at moment though remembering me walking down the aisle to you is a good start._

_Casey told us about the biscuits hope you enjoy or enjoyed them and if you want more there are plenty. Yep mum went on a baking spree … well, she was worried and happy you were back. You were right to hide them from Antonio and Casey they love them. Not that they would take them off you of course._

_Perhaps I should write about things I think you might like to know … easier written than said and can be mulled over quietly._

_That brings me back to Christmas Eve._

_You were right shock was one reason for asking you not to stay with me that night, the other as Dad would say 'I had my rose tinted glasses on' … wanting to have everything right for us regardless of your feelings or really understanding your need. You were in far deeper shock than I was and yet you took care of me … no … of all us that day. I still have your message to me and will always keep it. _

_It seems a cold thing to say … but you did the right thing in leaving us as you did. Any later and we would have made you stay and smothered you with our pain or made things harder for by trying to hide our pain, which would have kept us in our own little groups – blaming and bickering to each other. You my love would not have healed properly. Instead we came together – family, friends and workmates talked and healed, ready for you to come back and complete the process. _

_I'm sorry I did not let you stay that night helped you through part of the night before you left us, or perhaps I would have come to my senses and left with you. Let everyone else heal by themselves and then we would have come back and joined as a family, which we will do now. I did not and you came to that decision by yourself._

_It was a lovely idea of us marrying with Michael and Vanessa; they really loved the idea, though I understand your second thought of respecting their day. It went well, though Tyus had to stand in for her father, the airport was snowed up they cleared it and he came for the evening do at The Deep. Vanessa's mother is fine that was why Tyus was away he helped find a cure and was escorting her to Sunset Beach. I missed you; Michael drank your health in the toast. Put in a bid to be second best man when we marry, I don't think I'll be short of Maids of Honour either. But that is in the future._

_Back to the past we all attend Derek's funeral not because of hate but love or understanding for a brother who had somehow lost his way and needed forgiveness to find peace. We were worried when you did not come home but it was Dad and Antonio who helped us understand you might find returning harder than you thought but would come back. _

_Don't feel guilty about the time spent away and thank from all of us for giving us the space we needed._

_Somehow along the way you've picked up more pain, Antonio said her name was or is Betsy and your memories might not be right about the accident. I hope they are wrong and she is well and with her family and we will become friends. If they are right then let us mourn as a family this time and be with you. I understand why you are in pain … she is a child and you had just lost Benjy, become an uncle instead of a father. I hope by the time you read this I will have told you his story he is well and happy. Mum and Dad keep in contact with him and his aunt and uncle who look after him because Maria found she could not._

_Enough of the past … tomorrow, Oh tomorrow … you will see our home and garden. I'm sure you will like them; the inside will wait till later I know. … Come to think of it when you read this it will be yesterday or the past. _

_Never mind, the garden is part mine and the family who lived there before. So I've been making some changes and I'll need your ideas as there are a couple of blank spots, where they took things with them. I thought we could do them together, of course there are a few I'm iffy about but most of all I hope you'll like the small rose bed I've made. The white ones are our special one, the one you always gave me with such a wonderful scent. I had great fun tracking it down. The red ones are for our love and the other one is really fascinating the buds look pink but when the break open they have a hint of yellow running though them and as they continue their cycle the colours get darker. The three together in a vase in the lounge look fantastic as well as in the border._

_God I hope the memories that the roses might bring will not be too much for you._

_You did not collapse at my touch …. Just a question and my answer, which I hoped would stir the Ben I know and love. But you weren't there. Those fantastic eyes, the ones I used to disappear into and showed me your soul … they were dead … Oh that word means so much hardship to you but they were dull, empty not you. But now I know you felt me, felt our connection, our love and you remember me. Antonio says even if you forget it is inside you getting ready to come back bigger and better. _

_Well you did find us … okay the sunset and Antonio … and then the Mission … good choice all that space and protection. Not to mention half the police force looking out for you so I guess we will not lose you again._

_I made Dad laugh when I told him I would follow you should find you can't stay in town, need to move on from town to town. … I said I'd have a mobile home and park it nearby … so I like my comfort … but it will have a canopy to give you shelter if it rains and chairs so we can sit together … seriously I love and want you but I'll not tie you down should you need space I only need to know you are safe and happy ... though you in our bed would be great of course. _

_Working beside you today was wonderful and you felt so much at peace as you planted the flowers. Were you or your family involved in gardening and is that why you've turned to it and why you were interested in the garden centre on the outskirts of town. Well it's ours now I've just bought it with your money. Hey having a fortune to look after is a very interesting experience and I guess I've grown up a lot as well. Thank you for trusting me. So if you need space or when you finished at the Mission you can move there. Dad loves the way you put the flowers in it makes that border really stand out, thanks from all of us. _

_But I must not look ahead do as Antonio says treat each day as it comes. It must be strange to live just for today, I hope today stays with you as you sleep and when you wake. I hope you like our photo album and it helps you remember what you did today and will do tomorrow. _

_I know what ever happened to you in Seattle and during the months since you have kept us in your heart ... we all want you to come back to us so we can share the future together._

_I will be honest with you I have ranted at you for being away but I've also seen the good it's done and understood your reasons. You said in your phone call you wanted to come back as the whole person you were before it all happened. You are and always have been that strong quiet man we used to know join us now so we can be together._

_I love you Ben now and forever _

_Meg_

She put the pen on the table and put the pages in an envelope marked Ben for safe keeping sealed it with a kiss and put it in the draw. Seeing her cold cup of chocolate and shook her head at the thought of going downstairs and getting fresh one … she felt warm and tired. Looking out at the stars she said quietly. "Goodnight Ben" and put the light out then snuggled under the blankets.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

The firework announced its presence over the resting town with the first of six very loud short bangs and in the short space between them beautiful coloured stars rained down on the town.

Startled dogs barked loudly at each bang, sleeping residents woke and those out and about or just awake anyway looked up in awe at its beauty hoping for more and counted the number bangs. A few like the police officers on the beat jumped thinking it was a gunshot then saw the stars raining down and relaxed a bit.

The officers outside the Mission came alert and swore, as luck would have it one had just started to drop off to sleep, they'd decided to take turns in naps during the night shift. Now they both opened the car windows and looked across the town watching the firework and after the third bang one officer flicked the on switch of the radio to the Mission quietly hoping that somehow 'little brother' was sleeping through it all.

From the short comment "I'm up and checking." they knew that at least a Father was already alert and they would have to wait for further information so went back to watching the area.

After the sixth bang and coloured stars there was silence … for just long enough for the police officers to start to relax … then they came alert again as a firecracker went off in the distance. The Officers muttered as another one went off and then there seemed to be a ripple effect of bangs through the town and coming in their direction. And their police radio had crackled into life with the sharp words. "Two Nine. Don't apprehend any youths running in your area. ... Only move if help is needed with little brother … no firearms ... use stunner if necessary to contain the situation. Cars will be in your area as soon as possible. Keep in touch."

The Officers acknowledged the message, and opened their doors and took up positions and waited for events. One officer watched the main gate and the area to the left of it, the other watched to the right of it and in particular the low wall with the four-foot drop into bushes silently picking out the easiest route to get to someone tangled in those bushes.

oxoxo

After the phone call Jude got dressed quickly cursing the fireworks knowing it was an early start to a long and fraught day. He'd thought that after his talks to the colleges and schools that afternoon along with the firecrackers that had been collected they would have a quiet night. Instead by the sounds of the firecrackers that were now going off it had brought out a challenge from the youngsters and that was the very last thing he had wanted to happen. He had warned the youngster that there would be arrests if any were caught. Now it looked as though he was going to face parents, guardians and lawyers dragged from their beds or early morning calls about kids who'd not come home and might be a match to those who refuse to give id once arrested. He also knew he could not promise a sleepy worried Annie that he'd get back to her with news about Ben, the only thing he could do was to warn her not to call him and not to call or go near the Mission. He **would **eventually call her.

oxoxo

Across town, Ricardo was feeling helpless and frustrated as he watched Gabi try to quieten Cathy, who'd just finished feeding as the noise of the large firework went off and got startled and was crying louder with each bang. Not so long ago he would have been out there protecting everyone now he could not even ring or see his brother in case he was in the way or ring Jude to offer help regarding the firecrackers.

Only the gentle sympathetic smile and a gentle "Antonio's not alone and Jude will need your help later, so why not make us a drink then give Cathy a cuddle, it looks as though it's going to be awhile till she settles." made him feel a little better because he could finally do something for the two people he loved.

oxoxo

In her parents' house Meg woke as the first bang cut through her sleep. Still half a sleep she scrambled to find her robe as the bangs continued and the beautiful coloured stars fell on the town. She flung the robe round her in a hopeless mess of arms and armholes never quite matching and ran to the window pleading quietly 'Don't run Ben, please don't run' over and over hoping he could somehow hear or feel her presences across the town and stay safe.

Her parents entered the room quietly and put their arms around her knowing words of reassurance were no good at the moment. They felt her shiver as the firecrackers started and when she turned to her father with a silent plea he could only give her a reassuring smile and say. "They will ring love. They will ring." And let her body rest against his while feeling his wife's comfort beside him.

For a while the noise seemed endless especially as police and ambulance sirens joined the quieter popping of the firecrackers. Eventually the town quietened and the phone in the lounge rang. Joan left them wondering which one it would be because both Sara and Antonio were likely to ring … one to seek reassurance the other to give news good or bad…

oxoxo

Usually after a deep sleep Ben's mind began it's jumbled, miss matched sound and vision journey through his past leading up to the one which left him silent and sad. On waking he would instinctively know whether he was safe or not or had to leave but not who he was nor where he was or sometimes there had been a pervious day.

Tonight though was different because part way through his mind's chaotic journey something started to match a few voices with people, faces with names and a few places with information gathered from before he'd slept. They were snapshots frozen in time with no explanation around them all. Just the knowledge that he'd been there when they'd happened or been told about them. Then they disappeared back into the chaotic jumbled threads they'd come from. In one or two cases he had the sensation he was looking at something very important and he must not lose them … **it** … and he had to tell Antonio on waking. Only he wasn't sure what **it** was … and had the distinct feeling time was running out and that would be bad the ones he loved.

The first loud bang of the firework was just a sound to be noticed and discarded as part of the jumbled threads in his mind at the time. The second he recognised as a gunshot going off in a fight … making him feel the impact of the gun on his body as the bullet tore into his twin. The next one sent the jumbled threads in all directions as he tried to duck the bullets knowing he had to escape **now!**

Gasping for air he shot to consciousness, arms and legs scrambling for freedom not realising it was the blanket he was fighting or even he was safe. He fell off the bench onto the cold stone floor in a tangle of blanket and bag. He fought to free himself and the blanket was left lying in the entrance, the bag was held by a strap and dragged behind him as he staggered into the yard.

Being deafened by the bangs all around him real and imagined, and blinded by images spinning round his mind he was too traumatised to call or seek help or even know help was available.

He had to get away … with no shoes to protect his feet … pain tore through him as he stepped on a sharp piece of broken concrete. The bag fell from his grasp and was forgotten, his cry of pain was just a whisper. **But** the pain broke through his confused and blinded mind allowing a suggestion to surface … that he was safer back in the porch where someone would come and help him.

Semi blind and in pain he started a stumbling limp back to the porch relying on instinct to tell him where it was. When he faltered he whispered a name that came into his mind. "Father" and felt it was familiar, at another stumble "Antonio" joined Father and the mantra grew with each stumbling step back to his refuge.

He managed to find the bench and sat on the mattress, back against the wall, his chin on his knees, his arms wrapped round his legs tucking them close to his chest as he could and unconsciously rocking backwards and forwards in time with his mantra. "Father Antonio friend, Tyus Doctor, Meg stay," it didn't always come out right, sometimes a whisper and sometimes stronger. It was never enough to rid him of the noises or images that blinded and deafened him or conquer the fear that was building up inside him … but it stopped him from running and that he knew was important though not why.

oxoxo

Once Antonio realised what woke him, he flicked the radio handset on and told Father Brown he was up. He then put on his shoes and jacket grabbed the torch and radio handset then ran in the direction of the main entrance.

Knowing they'd not planned for this and cursing the next bang he met Sister Jane and another Father in the corridor, he checked they had radios and gave instructions on the move. "Father, you and Stephen take the kitchen area and the low wall in case he's already moved, check round Derek's grave he's been back to it during the day. I'll take the yard and the porch work my way towards you. Sister, you and anyone else take the front of the Mission moving in that direction as well. Check the shrubs in cases he's hiding in them and the gate. Ask Father Brown to stay on the main radio and don't forget Ben will be scared of the noise and possibly us as well as silent so he can't cry out. If he's unconscious stay with him and say so and the police will get Tyus for us."

With nods they quickly moved off.

With all the bangs making him feel even more edgy Antonio ran round the back to the yard half expecting to be bowled over by a terrified Ben or trip over his body. He slowed to a walk then stopped as he entered the yard to look around and then swore seeing the bag by itself near the wall. … That was not good.

He took a breath and let his instinct take over while looking round the yard, noting the washroom door was still closed, and then looked into the shadows for a huddled figure against the walls, hoping Ben had not run far. As he looked he became aware of a muffled sound coming from the porch and realised Ben must have come out in fear and gone back in greater fear.

Quickly but thoughtfully he slung the bag on his shoulder then called out "Ben its Father Antonio" and walked towards the porch, hoping his voice would be welcome and possibly get a verbal response.

As he got closer he saw the blanket on the floor and as the voice was a bit louder he caught his name amongst the other words, and gave a hint of a smile. He did not rush, though he wanted too and listened to the mantra as he walked. It was soft getting stronger and by the variation of order he knew Ben was fighting his fear … of what … the loud noise or the memories of his brother's death or was he in the middle of both in which case he would have to be careful not to make things worse by suddenly appearing.

He called out again "Ben its Father Antonio" and shone the torch downwards and stopped in the entrance of the porch so as not frighten or blind Ben and could move out quickly if need be. He knew Ben could defend himself if need be, had been to classes with him in the early days.

He winced a bit as he saw Ben hit the wall gently while rocking backwards and forwards in time with the mantra and stepped back into the yard and spoke into the radio softly. "He's in the porch terrified but safe, ring Tyus and get the police to get rid of the damn firecrackers."

He carefully put the torch on the bench so it gave them some light, tucked the bag under the bench so it would be out the way and picked the blanket up and put it with the radio by the torch. All the time watching his friend and realising the man didn't know he was there. He went over to and sat with him and said gently "Ben its Father Antonio, you are safe now. It's only firecrackers nothing to be afraid of."

The rocking did not stop nor did Ben's head come up at his voice but Antonio did hear the mantra clearly now and couldn't help smiling when it came out jumbled as Father Meg, Antonio Doctor stay friend Tyus.

It stopped as another really loud firecracker went off at the back of the Mission and Antonio saw Ben's body shiver violently. He gently put his hand on his friend's arm and repeated himself "Ben its Father Antonio you are safe now. Its only firecrackers nothing to be afraid of." hoping that touch and voice would bring him out of the nightmare he was obviously fighting.

Ben's head came up with a jerk and looked at Antonio with his eyes wide open and tried to shift back away from him, but the corner wall would not let him. Ben's words were soft pleading and sent a cold shiver down Antonio's spine. "Let Meg and Benjy live, my life will be enough. Don't kill them please."

Antonio's mind was racing as he said gently hoping to bring him out of his terror "Ben! They are safe. Derek's dead … he can't hurt you any more. You are at the Mission not Seattle, it's firecrackers you can hear. The police with stop them. Ben! You are safe. "

Still looking at him Ben gave a cough and shivered then a whispered. "Antonio?" as another firecracker went off this one was further away and there were police sirens in the distance.

Relieved he had got through Antonio answered, "Yes Ben, everyone is safe. You are at the Mission." And hoped some of the terror would leave his friend's face.

Instead Ben gasped and flung his arms out grabbing Antonio's then said with a whispered gasp, "Falling."

"No you are not Ben. You are safe at the Mission." Antonio tried to reassure him guessing he was going back into a nightmare fast.

Ben's grip relaxed on Antonio's arm and his words were again whispered as though he was talking to himself. "Head hurts, can't move …back and chest … Meg I'm sorry."

Antonio almost yelled trying to bring Ben back to here and now, not wanting him to blackout back in the nightmare. "**Ben**! You can move you are not hurt! You are safe at the Mission. You saw Meg this afternoon when you were in Hank's garden. Come on Ben remember!"

He felt the grip tighten on his arm as Ben whispered. "Benjy safe?"

For a brief second Antonio cursed him for asking such a loaded awkward question and said "Yes he's with Tess's sister and her husband. You are safe at the Mission."

He saw Ben's eyes start to close and yelled at him "**Ben **stay with me don't blackout."

He saw Ben try to focus and start to sit up away from the wall but a firecracker went off in the distance and he felt another shiver run through the man then the grip relax and heard a whispered. "Protect them for me and hide me Antonio."

Then Ben collapsed against him so his head rested on his shoulder and all Antonio could do was to hold him and say, "They are safe Ben and so are you." Hoping his friend heard him and understood.

He sat holding his friend trying to calm his own thoughts and fears, then checked for a pulse just to make sure the steady breathing he could hear was real; the pulse was rapid and strong. He repeated a mantra of his own hoping his friend could hear him. "You are safe Ben and I will be with all the way."

A shadow came across the opening so he turned his head expecting one of the Fathers or Sister Jane and saw Tyus.

Tyus took in the situation and eased himself round Antonio saying quietly, "I was leaving the hospital when the firework went off so I came straight over. I know it feels like an age but it's around ten minutes. Ben's out of it I take it?"

Antonio nodded and said shakily. "Yes, he was terrified and mixed up, pleading with someone not to kill Meg and Benjy that his life would be enough. … I guess he must have been back in the basement in Seattle. … Another time he said he was falling, could not move and that his head, chest and back hurt. … Might have been the accident … Then I think he knew me and asked me to protect Benjy and Meg and hide him. … I wonder if he thinks he's escaped and Derek's still around. … What I do know is he might have hurt his feet, he had no shoes and his bag was near some broken concrete he must have stood on some and fled back here. Which was good, because I'm not sure he would have realised the wall was there and would have run into it. He certainly didn't see me at the beginning."

"Right I'll check him over so let's lie him down." Tyus said knowing action was better than words and Antonio was in shock as well.

With Ben lying on the mattress Tyus checked him over noticing he did not stir even when he dealt with his feet, which he knew would be slightly sore in the morning. The skin had not been broken but the shock would have been magnified by his terror. Letting Antonio put the blanket over Ben he motioned him to sit on the other bench knowing Ben would not hear them and Antonio needed to know what Jude had told him earlier said. "Antonio they've found out that Ben's been on the road since sometime in March."

Antonio looked at Tyus startled then sighed and said quietly "So the fall he mentioned could that have been it and the memory of the girl is something different. But surely we would have heard, it's not as though he went under another name there would have been documents a wallet."

Tyus shrugged and said gently. "We will just have to wait for the full picture but it would make sense and account for the back injury being healed as well as any head injury not showing up. The firework and crackers could have disturbed his threads in his sleep, which would account for the terror … he was still in them till he heard and recognised your voice. Hopefully your voice was still in his mind when he blacked out."

He paused for a moment as they watched Ben then said gently, "I know it was frightening to watch but you never know it could be a jolt forward rather than one backwards even if he's silent first thing. I would suggest closing the Mission for the morning if you can and see what happens." he hesitated and then added very gently. "There is also the possibility he will not wake up Antonio."

Hearing his own silent fear spoken Antonio shivered.

Tyus didn't give him any time to say anything by carrying on. "In which case we will have to admit him to Cedar Oaks as its mental shock that has caused the unconsciousness not a physical one and they will take it from there."

Antonio quietly exclaimed as he looked at the Doctor. "You can't he'll never survive being indoors or their questions and isolation from his friends, you know what she's like! We both know he needs to be here today's proved that!"

Tyus nodded and smiled. "It might not happen you just need to be aware of the possibility. You will be his health guardian along with Meg if the Judge agrees. You know I would only do it if I thought he really needed it and there was no other way. I'm more inclined to think he will wake up as though nothing happened it's just one rather large stone in the pond of his murky mind. More memories tomorrow and a better night till eventually his threads are matched up."

Antonio knew what he was going to do and said. "I'm going to sleep here be there when he wakes, should I tell him about tonight when he wakes?"

Tyus understanding Antonio's need to physically know Ben could not leave without his knowledge smiled and said. "I thought you would and I'll contact a friend out of state see if he knows anything more about cases like Ben. Ben needs to trust whoever looks after him and he certainly trusts you and if we can keep this quiet it should be okay. I think you should do what you've done all day let him lead and give him nudges if he asks for them.

I expect you will have to introduce yourself again, tell him where he is and use his name straight away and see how things go. You can show him what he's done here today; refer to it as being yesterday see how he take it."

He stretched and got up and carried on. "Father Brown thought you would stay so he's got a mattress and blanket for you. **Now** remember ring me if he does not wake up, don't hide it from me I'll come over and see how things go. I'll ring Jude and tell him everything. … Remember it's more difficult for us than him after all he forgets we don't. … Oh yes don't fall off the bench when you turn over."

Antonio half smiled then said "But he did not want to forget tonight Tyus for the first time he wanted to remember. He set up a mantra to help fight his demons Father Antonio Doctor Tyus friend Meg stay … granted it go mixed up once or twice and I'm sure he really remembered me when I spoke near the end. He needs to stay here with friends around him … us."

Tyus nodded "I know he does and that is a very good sign his mind is coming towards us and not going down deeper into a coma, so this sleep could be a healing sleep. I know its daft to say don't worry but we cannot second guess this … it will run in its own time. Try and sleep call me if you need me and I'll check in with the main Mission rather than actually bother you."

Antonio remembered. "He was going to have hair cut etc in the morning."

Tyus recalled their phone call and said gently. "Carry on even if he does not remember but let him back a way if necessary."

"Thank you." Antonio said.

As Tyus moved out of the porch Father Brown with mattress etc said. "Can you wait a moment and fill me in Doctor. Antonio, Sister Jane is bringing a drink, I'll man the main radio in case you need me at any time."

"Thank you Father, Tyus suggested closing the Mission for the morning."

Father Brown nodded. "Yes and this afternoons singing practice for the evening service can be done in the hall but the service will have to go ahead I'm afraid. … We will stop anyone coming into the yard as we did today or escort them if need be. I'll warn the organist to be a bit quieter on the loud bits and perhaps you and Sister Jane could stay with Ben during the service."

Antonio nodded and watched them walk away then made up the bed checking Ben every so often till Sister Jane arrived with the drink and an update. "The police are giving chase but they could not move till they were sure Ben was still here and contained. The firecrackers were all over town and are being dealt with, shall I ring Ricardo and tell him how things are."

He nodded and said. "Tell the officers I'm sleeping out here and call Meg as well, I know she will be awake and tell her someone will call in the morning about arrangements regarding her garden. You know he could wake up all right as if nothing happened."

Sister Jane smiled at his need for reassurance and it would be a little scary sleeping out here. "I know Tyus told me and I'm sure Ben knows you are close by. Now drink that before it gets cold."

He drank the drink and realised there was whisky in the tea and gave her a look at which she smiled innocently back and said, "I'll tell Meg he blacked out and Tyus checked him over, it's the not knowing or little white lies that will make her worry more. You've got your radio so try and sleep."

Antonio nodded and after she left he sat for a moment just watching Ben, not too convinced the thin mattress was going to be at all soft and wished he had Ben's ability to switch off. Feeling a chill he lay down and pulled the blanket over him, fidgeted a bit then convinced he would not sleep decided to just watch Ben.

Gradually the town went back to its sleepy state and tiredness crept up on Antonio till he closed his eyes and slept.

oxoxo

Across the town Joan put down the phone and walked back to the spare bedroom and as father and daughter looked round she smiled and said, "First call was Sara to say she was okay and asking for news so I rang her back after the second call. That was from Sister Jane Ben was scared but is safe at the Mission; Tyus has been with him and Antonio is sleeping in the porch with him. Ben blacked out in Antonio's arms, so they think he will wake up silent and no memory of today but it's a case of wait and see … someone will ring about the garden later in the morning."

Hank tightened his hug round his daughter feeling her starting to shake and said gently. "You need to sleep. He will need you to be patient and he has the photos from today which will help him. Don't expect the worst but don't expect miracles either."

Joan said gently as she saw Meg nod. "Hot drink and then sleep."

Meg gave a shaky laugh and nodded knowing some things never changed, and decided she would help her mother make the drink and drink it this time.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

As Ben asked for Antonio's protection and lost consciousness the threads in his shocked mind had slammed together and untangled and Antonio's words as whispers in his mind and felt his friend's support. Ben knew why he needed to be hidden and the others looked after … he knew all his past and what had happened. Trying to gather the important threads together he started a mantra of words so he would be able to find them again. Now all he had to do was to wake and tell Antonio everything before he lost it again. He tried to wake but couldn't the barrier of darkness stayed down.

He felt angry and frustrated knowing he had to wake up and thought of Antonio talking to him and holding him and pushed through the threads to get to him. But as he did so everything that seemed so clear started to fade and was being replaced by a familiar buzzing and jumble that left him confused and unable to speak on waking. He made a desperate grab for the mantra of words hoping he would be able to whisper one or two to Antonio and he in turn would tell them back to him and he would then remember something. It had worked before.

Without warning the barrier shattered and he just managed to hold onto a name, but opening his eyes the dawn light blinded him sending shock waves through his mind and body. Time had passed … he was alone … the person he trusted was not there… he could not tell him … what … **what** … what … he didn't know … it was gone ... there was nothing there … he felt lost and didn't know where or who he was … or if anything was real ...

Instinct took over and calmed him enough so he lay still as he tried to understand what he saw and what he felt. Slowly he realised he was on a bench like the one opposite and there was someone sleeping on that one. … So, he must have been sleeping and it was the usual jumbled nightmare threads. … Nothing to be afraid of and he was safe and dry … and amongst fellow strangers ... travellers … not cold or wet or under a hedge.

He tried to call out to the person opposite but nothing came and the buzzing in his head increased till it threatened to overwhelm him into darkness again so he closed his mouth, lay silent, breathed quietly and evenly and waited for it to stop.

As the buzzing lessened he forgot he'd panicked just knew he was waiting for the person to wake and heard the birds singing, knew the light in their shelter was increasing and the word 'day' crept into his mind and he knew the darkness had been night…and he was in the countryside…

There was movement from the other bench so he watched the man hoping he would show him what to do but was also wary in case this stranger was not really a friend.

oxoxo

Antonio stirred and stretched carefully before even attempting to sit up, he was soo creaky and stiff … if he needed to do this again he would definitely put another mattress on top of this one and another blanket perhaps … … his thoughts stopped a second as he realised he was being watched, … which was good and then realised there was no recognition in Ben's eyes or body language whatsoever… more guarded like someone ready to defend himself …That was not so good.

He knew he needed to do things naturally with no sudden moves or staring so he slowly pushed the blanket back and sat up, found his shoes and after putting them on looked at his friend and said gently not wanting to scare him. "Morning, Ben sleep all right?"

He gave an almost silent sigh because there was no reaction from his friend and wondered if Ben had tried and failed to talk earlier. But that would have brought a shake of the head surely, then again that might be difficult to do that lying down. There didn't seem to be any fever from the looks of things, so was it possible he could not even understand him … oh joy.

It took him a moment to come to terms with that and discard it and wondered if perhaps just hearing his voice might help bring his friend's memory back sort of oil some cogs somewhere, find that lose screw. He pondered about going back to their first meeting … nope way too difficult … so how about basic things for here and now … might just work and at least it was between the two of them no watchers … umm a listener maybe … but Father Brown would understand and keep quiet.

Feeling slightly self-conscious Antonio pointed to himself and said clearly. "My name is Father Antonio." Then pointed to Ben and carried on. "Your name is Ben," he then repeated his words and actions again then rested his hands on his knees, after a brief moment he put one hand on the porch wall and said. "This porch is at the Mission" he then pointed to Ben again as he added. "You had soup and sandwiches with me last night."

He rested his hands on his knees and waited … got nothing and wondered if a question about last night might bring a response rather than just being talked to and asked. "Do you remember the firecrackers that woke everyone up last night?" … not the best of questions he knew but what else could he ask.

There was no response, not even a blink of the eyes.

Antonio ran his fingers through his hair wondering how you start to communicate with someone who does not appear to understand anything and he really needed to move before he embarrassed himself. **But** he was not going to leave Ben alone and go to the washroom either. Calling on the radio and getting Sister Jane here would take time … and of course a crackly voice coming out of nowhere could frighten Ben, which wasn't the reaction he was after. … Perhaps if he went things again but with more detail it would get some response … even a shrug of boredom would be good.

So he touching the porch wall again as he said. "This is the porch at the Mission, the catholic church in Sunset Beach. You stayed here yesterday helped with the hedges and plants, tidied up some of the graves and two other gardens in town. You slept here and during the night a firework and firecrackers woke you and scared you and you collapsed in my arms. I'd come round to make sure you were safe then l slept here with you so you would not wake up alone.

We need to get ready breakfast and after that I will show you what you did here yesterday and what you can do today that is if you feel up to it. … I expect your memory will return as we look round and it's all right if you can't speak at the moment that will come back during the day. Just nod your head for yes or shake you head for no. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Seeing a long blink from Ben Antonio couldn't help smiling as he said. "I hope that long blink means yes."

It got another long blink and Antonio assumed it was yes and realised that Ben might need the washroom just as much as he did but needed that extra nudge to remind him. He remembered seeing parents with toddlers and how they encouraged them to do things they weren't sure of. So he got up and held out his hand to Ben and said gently but firmly. "We need to go to the washroom, now Ben."

To Antonio's surprise and relief Ben reacted immediately by sitting up letting the blanket fall and started to reach out to take his hand. But then he stopped and looked at his arm and then down at his chest onto his lap as if he'd just realised he'd lost something … something important.

It clicked with Antonio … the bag and he reassured the man "Ben, your bag is safe" and quickly crouched down and got it and handed it over adding. "You dropped it in the yard last night and you hurt your feet on some broken concrete and came back in here. I found it when I came to check on you and decided I should stay with you. Your feet might feel a bit sore, Tyus your doctor bandaged them and if they hurt too much you can wear slippers or just rest here in the yard for the day. The choice is yours."

To his relief though still expressionless Ben nodded and then opened the bag and found his shoes and cap and put them on. As he put his feet to the ground he nodded again but didn't try and get up completely instead he went back to his bag and brought out a plastic box, opened it and offered it to Antonio.

As much as Antonio wanted to go to the washroom the silent gesture was obvious and he knew this was an important break through... he was being given something in box. Looking into it he saw a sad stale sandwich wrapped in a messy paper napkin and an apple and guessed it was from Ben's first night here. … So, his friend hoarded food to eat on waking or for when he felt hungry … he hadn't needed the food till now and that was why it was stale **and** why the bag was so important to him … could not be lost no matter however lost it's owner was.

And now Ben was expecting him to share the food with him as a sign of what … gratitude, friendship or trust. … Nope … No way, nor did he want Ben to eat it either. He knew if he chose the safer bet of the slightly battered apple Ben would take the stale sandwich … not good. … Even worse he couldn't even try hinting about Joan's biscuits without getting Ben confused or angry …So, between the devil and the deep blue sea then …Oh great start!

He knew he could not just refuse outright; trying to explain could look like rejection and thought of a compromise smiled and said gently. "Thank you Ben but we will have food from Sister Jane in a moment and there's water in the container in the yard if you want refill the bottle you have in your bag. Washroom first though." He added firmly.

He watched with relief as Ben nodded and put away the box then put the bag on his shoulder and got up … as they walked together towards the washroom he silently chalked up his success and pointed things out in the yard and reckoned something had clicked inside Ben's memory. They were back to nodding stage of their first meeting although the body language was not there yet. Even so it was a good start and Ben was walking well on his sore feet so they could not be too bad either.

Entering the washroom Antonio noticed Ben walked straight in and wondered if his fear or unease had gone or just was not awake yet. He also knew what they were therefore so that was another problem solved. Seeing two piles of clean clothes and towels he remembered what looked like the result of a possible panic attack yesterday and didn't want one this morning so decided to head it off and said. "Ben you had a shower yesterday so if you want to you can just wash and then change into clean clothes. You've got a set in your bag or you can take some from the pile Sister Jane has left for you. I'll meet you by the door if you beat me as I've got to shave."

He was pleased with Ben's nodded and actions as they went their separate ways to clean up. As he sorted himself out he kept a listen out in case Ben got into trouble and was pleased he seemed okay. When he came to change his shirt he gave an inward sigh, Sister Jane had put out the formal Priest's shirt and collar. He would have preferred a casual shirt as there wouldn't be anyone around the Mission this morning, but also understood that Ben knew him as Father Antonio rather than friend Antonio and this would secure it in his mind. … Oh joy.

As Antonio quickly tidied the washroom after they had finished he pondered. …. Ben had hardly looked in the mirror … so, was having Jake come a good thing after last night. … How could they find out … talk it over through breakfast … but could he rely on Ben's nods and shakes of the head for real answers … there might be shrugs for 'not sure' by then so it might work.

Putting the wet towel in the basket he looked at the doorway expecting to see Ben he wasn't there so went outside. He found him waiting just a little way away from the doorway with his cap and jumper on. In all honesty Antonio had hoped to find them in the pile of towels or tucked inside the man's shoulder bag, proof he felt safe and comfortable here. … Perhaps that would come later when he realised no strangers would be around.

He shivered at the word stranger and knew there were many questions he wanted to ask him … The first one was simple were you enjoying to sunshine or was the fear back. The others were loaded … what are you thinking and feeling and how can we help. But he knew he couldn't because Ben was closed down … those dark expressionless eyes were watching him from an expressionless face. But there was a tiny difference Ben seemed to be watching him or watching for him and not just looking into to space, though he reckoned if he'd been an hour Ben would have still stood there. Coming out of his thoughts he said pointing his hand in the direction they needed to go. "Ben, we go this way to the kitchen area and breakfast with Sister Jane."

oxoxo

As they walked together he pointed out the work Ben had done and what was needed but didn't mention Derek's grave, he would deal with that later if Ben brought it up by walking over to it. When pointing out the rose cascading over the hedge he saw Ben give an extra nod and wondered if that was one of satisfaction – hopefully a memory of a job done well rather than one just mentioned, because it did look beautiful in the early morning light.

He was just telling Ben to find a seat when the kitchen door opened and Sister Jane came to join them smiling and saying. "Good morning Father Antonio, Ben, what would you like to eat?" She'd known they were coming after Antonio's quick radio call just before he left the washroom.

Antonio chuckled and said. "Good morning Sister Jane. A fry up please, sleeping out makes me feel hungry." Then turned to and asked "Ben?"

They got a blank look from him.

Before Antonio could say anything Sister Jane explained. "Fry up is eggs, bacon, potatoes and tomatoes or if you can have vegetable soup and beef sandwiches like you enjoyed last night. Or a drink of tea or coffee and have something later. How's your cough this morning?"

She got a shrug and a nod and realised she could have done things better so hoping to narrow the field down a bit said. "Okay lets try, soup, sandwiches and tea and you're not too sure about your cough."

Antonio could have sworn there was a hint of a smile in Ben's body language as he nodded and sat down at the table. As he sat beside Ben he remembered the box in Ben's bag and said quickly. "Ben, give Sister Jane your food box, so she can put some packets of biscuits, cheese and fruitcake which will keep till you need them."

Ben gave a shake of his head but got the box out of his bag and then handed her the stale sandwich, which she hesitatingly accepted and took away. Antonio noticed a label on the lid of the box as well as some small packets in the bottom of the box and was going to ask to have a look when Ben went back to his bag and brought out the paper bag.

Antonio smiled and wondered if his use of the word biscuits or Ben touching the bag as he got the box out had brought it to mind, or perhaps he was just intrigued by the paper bag whichever it was, it was good. He silently watched Ben open the bag and when he looked inside there was definitely a puzzled expression in his body language. … So he could not have remembered the biscuits. He would have loved to have seen Ben's eyes, see if they were expressionless or now showed his feelings, but they were shielded by the cap and the tilt of his head. He'd noticed as they walked over from the washroom the cap was not so far down as usual and hoped that too was a good sign.

Fascinated he carried on watching as Ben took out a biscuit and looked at it, felt it, then look over at him. His eyes and face expressionless but his body language made up for it … it was so much like a toddler silently asking for information and permission to try something new. He knew that was good – it was the curiosity Tyus had been looking for yesterday.

He smiled and nodded and said gently. "Joan made them for you yesterday. We went to Hank's garden you tided the borders, trimmed some low hedges and put some plants in and met Meg his daughter. You know them Ben just as you know me." He watched Ben tilt his head as though possibly trying to get hold of the lost memory so he carried on to reassure him. "It's okay the memory will come back. The only people coming here this morning will be Casey and Jake who you know, I'll explain over breakfast. You can have a biscuit now if you want one."

Ben watched him for a moment then nodded before biting into the biscuit chewed tasting every morsel and then ate the rest slowly.

Antonio could almost taste it as well as imagine the memory cogs working and was sure there was a satisfied nod when Ben finished it before he reached into the bag for another one. He wondered if he should stop his friend from stuffing himself then realised Ben had pushed it over to him and another one was going to where Sister Jane would come back to. Ben's natural wish to share was there and this time he would accept without hesitation.

He smiled and said. "Thank you, they are favourites of yours and mine." and bit into it noticing Ben's nod as he put the bag away then looked around. It was not a steady look round; he stopped for a while in places making Antonio wonder if memories were starting to stir and Tyus was right it was a step forward and even Hank might have got his wish as well as painful as it was. Perhaps all Ben would need was a voice to unlock his thoughts, sign language could be difficult but writing … that might work … could try it later … leave a pad and paper on the table rather than present it to him, which could make it feel like an order.

As he finished his biscuit Antonio could not help a slight smile wondering if he could persuade Joan to make a stock of them so he could use them as memory joggers and friendship tokens. And then decided to do what Ben was doing - enjoy the early morning and the view across the town and bay while waiting for breakfast.

oxoxo

It was not long before Sister Jane came back with a tray of food and thanked Ben for the biscuit and gently suggested he clean the box with a tissue and hand over the sad looking apple. She stacked the packets so he could reach them while Antonio helped sort out the rest of the things on the tray.

Ben nodded and took out the small packages and the sad looking apple and then cleaned the box with the tissue then put the new food in and all but one of the packages. This one he pushed over to Antonio before closing his box and putting it in his bag, which he then put beside him.

Antonio knew he was expected to accept it; he took it, looked at it and smiled. It was labelled '_for food_' and knew Tyus would be pleased Ben's bag did actually tell him what to do. **But** not in imaginary voice form that Tyus was worried it might have been and would have sent Ben to Cedar Oaks. In setting things on the table he'd read the label on the lid of the box. _Food__ then_ underneath _if empty use envelopes of money to__buy some_. Under that _Check bottom of bag if box empty_ And lastly _Can be used for clothes or shelter if needed. If you need help use card in pocket or find a police officer_.

He'd found it scary that Ben needed the reminders but good to know someone cared enough to do it for him. Handing the package back to Ben he said. "The food and shelter are free Ben, in any case you've done a good job here … that's more than enough thank you. We'll carry on the practice of money envelopes when you do other gardens so you'll have something if you want to move on at anytime." He knew full well he would not let Ben move on unless he was sure it was what he really really wanted or needed to do and certainly not without Meg's knowledge.

Ben nodded and put it in his pocket.

As they were grouped together Antonio said quietly. "Thank you for our food Lord." And then they ate. After awhile Antonio started up the discussion with Sister Jane of what they were going to do and they noticed that Ben started to join in with nod and shakes of the head with the body language rapport back to what they had during the day. Antonio knew without a doubt Ben was coming back to them in leaps and bounds and it wouldn't be long before he would be talking. Especially now he knew members of the public would not be around this morning and possibly only a guided few in the afternoon, this evening and the service well he'd face that problem later ... he knew it would happen.

They had just finished eating when Sister Jane took out the bottle of pills and shook one out putting it on a plate with drink of water and pushed it over to Ben saying "Ben, you need to take your medicine now."

As Ben looked across at Sister Jane Antonio noticed the change of body language immediately. The guard was up, fists were clenched and he saw Sister Jane pale a little, so he said sharply. "Ben. Look at me!"

Ben looked at him, even though the cap shaded his eyes Antonio he could see the hurt and anger add that to his body language and he knew there was danger in facing this man down – he was ready to explode.

Antonio knew he didn't have time to wonder what made him change so quickly, nor could he rely on the 'Ben' he knew who would never hurt a woman or friend being there somewhere. This one he was not so sure of. … Not yet anyway … He remembered yesterday evening and how he faced and won even though he did not like it …he knew he had to do it again without flinching or backing down at all. … Take whatever came and hope Sister Jane could get help quickly he hoped she had her radio in her pocket rather than wade in.

He met Ben's angry eyes without flinching and said firmly. "You must take it Ben. Remember that coughing fit you had in the washroom earlier?"

He got a sharp nod as a reply, their eyes remained locked on each other neither was giving ground but Antonio knew Ben was listening which was good. With the same firm manner he carried on. "That cough hurt you, yesterday it was worse, sometimes you had difficulty breathing and Tyus Robinson your doctor gave us these pills for you to take. They will make the cough easier but you have to finish them all … if you don't that will cough get worse again and you will have to go to hospital. It's one pill three times a day with food."

He got a glare and a shake of the head and knew Ben wasn't having it no matter what. He knew he could not backtrack to take a breather nor could he raise his voice to get his point across, loud voice could make Ben even angrier or more stubborn. He didn't have time to consider all his options the man could just walk off in close down so he took a gamble and keeping his voice steady and firm asked. "Do you trust me Ben?"

There was a pause and then a short sharp nod.

Antonio was pleased with that it meant Ben trusted what instincts he had as well as listening so carried on his voice firm but with a hint of friendship to add true feeling to his words. "I would not give nor do anything to harm you, neither will Sister Jane." Then added gently but firmly, "Yesterday morning you and I walked round to Doctor Tyus Robinson, tall dark American, you've trusted him in the past as you trust me now. You worked in his garden, cut his lawn while I visited some people. You talked to him about what you could remember … about a young girl getting hurt and how you are unable to remember things. … We promised to help you find out what happened as well as keep you safe while you remember us and your past. We told you your name Ben."

There was a longer pause and then a nod the anger and hurt had not gone but Antonio knew he was winning the battle so went on. "Ben, you were able to trust him and took two of these pills three times yesterday. I'm asking you to take one, three times today and tomorrow and the next day in needs be. If you don't your cough will get worse and you will end up in hospital and to be honest I don't think that will do you any good as you don't like buildings. So trust me and Sister Jane."

Antonio could see Ben was still smouldering with anger and hurt as he weighed things up, and then Mother Nature took a hand in the form of a coughing fit … a bad one.

When it ended Ben reluctantly took the tablet and water before leaving the table without any acknowledgement, just stormed off towards the low wall.

For a moment Antonio thought Ben wasn't going to stop but he did and swung his bag off his shoulder before sitting on the bench facing away from them. He knew whatever trust Ben had in him had been shattered as he'd stormed away from the table. He hated having to do it but knew Ben had to take that pill he also knew Ben would have hated himself if he'd hit out at Sister Jane. Perhaps he would have back down earlier had he left it but he knew Ben had a temper and presence that could stop fights or insulting behaviour at The Deep. He'd never been on the end of it … till now … but there had been something else in that look as Ben had taken the pill and then stormed off ... a soul destroying hurt.

Going back over it and to brutally honest Antonio wasn't sure whose soul was hurting the most his or Ben's nor did he know if this gulf could be healed once Ben calmed down and accepted it had had to be done. No one was to blame or hurt. Perhaps he would forget it in a blink of an eye … but till when … till lunchtime or tea time ... would it come back worse because he'd won this time or would there be capitulation with no understanding of the real reason. And even if Ben could forget it he couldn't, wouldn't and it hurt. He didn't want this, he wanted to see the trust that had flashed through Ben's eyes when they parted the first time last night back again. To see it blossom during the day into knowledge and stronger trust and most of all to have their old friendship back.

Watching Ben's hunched figure he pondered at the body language hoping it would give him an answer into what the man was going through. After a moment he said quietly. "It's almost as though he is waiting for something to happen." His mind took him one step further and a cold shiver ran down his spine and he exclaimed. **"Hell!" **

Sister Jane exclaimed quietly. "Father Antonio!"

He looked at her realising he'd said it out loud and calmed himself though he was cross for not asking Tyus's advice about it earlier. He shifted so he could see Ben and explain it to her. "When Maria found him in the basement at Southern Avenue Christmas Eve morning he'd been drugged unconscious. If he'd been hit over the head the ambulance men would have taken him with Casey and perhaps none of this would have happened. Tyus would have seen him in the evening. … Anyway, after Ben left us, Jude, Ricardo and I talked about what might have happened in Seattle."

He hesitated for a moment trying to get the worse ideas out of his head and carried on slowly. "They said he could have been made to take his own sleeping drugs before being driven down here. It would have been a way to prove dominance over him and of course the jailer would not have had to get up close and personal to make you take the drug. Also drugging the food could prove messy Ben could have thrown it across the room or at the jailer, way for Ben to score points if need be. They also said the jailer would most probably used threats to make Ben compliant and not just beatings a more powerful one that Meg and Benjy would get hurt if he misbehaved. Ben would know they would not be empty threats Derek had murdered before and he was just a phone call away in Sunset Beach so they could be hurt before Ben could do anything at all. … … I've no doubt Ben was an awkward prisoner …"

Not wanting Father Antonio to go down that road Sister Jane interrupted him gently. "This time he took the pill because he trusted you … mind you Mother Nature gave him a big enough hint. … He's made a step forward a barrier's been broken down … emotion has come through … not quite the way we wanted." She gave a gentle light sigh as she carried on "And granted the pussycat turned into a tiger but he kept control Antonio. … He did not kill as his brother did when cornered …he didn't even hit out … and you have to admit you were close enough to him for him to do so … he listened and he smouldered and that's what you saw as he walked away. He is still the Ben you know and trust and you are still his friend he trusts."

She then, knowing she could get away with it put a gentle command in her voice as she said. "Help me take this lot in and show him we trust him to stay without being watched. But you should warn the police not to confront him if he decides to leave us for any reason … just watch from a distance while we work out what to do."

Antonio nodded and gave a quiet "Thank you" and hoped he could really face Ben again if it came to it and looked back over at his friend just to check he was okay before helping her clear the table.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

As Ben picked up the pill and put it in his mouth then drank the water so the pill could be swallowed and it could do its evil work. What trust he'd found in Antonio's words was drowned by past images and voices merging with his hurt and anger. Two things out screamed at him **they** had betrayed him and **he** would lose his freedom again.

Pure instinct guided him to a safe spot as he stormed away from the table too defeated, hurt and boiling with anger to see where he was going. Confirming his panicking muddled thoughts the strength was going from his legs but he managed to collapse so he sat on the bench facing away from his betrayers. Because his bag had swung off his shoulder he automatically wrapped his arms around it clutching it to his chest, trying to protect it for as long as he could. Knowing** they** would take it along with his freedom when the darkness came.

Finding it difficult to breathe he gulped in short breaths of air expecting each one to be his last conscious one. He knew any attempt to get rid of the drug was futile … would mean something worse … it was two against one - the odds were against him. Always were always had been. As he gulped in more air he became conscious of the view and decided to watch that while waiting for the inevitable darkness rather than face them or evade them showing them his panic … his defeat … their success.

As the moment grew longer and the view stayed steady and the darkness did not come, his mind and breathing started to calm though little shivers ran through his body. The shivers stopped as he began to realise it was possible he'd not been betrayed … the pill was just as they'd said, for his cough. The angry tangled images and voices were sliding back into the darkness of his mind and giving away the quieter clearer memories from the earlier breakfast discussion. Going through these he felt a strange puzzling frill … two names that had meant nothing to him then were becoming more defined and he realised he knew and trusted them.

One was Jake the Italian American who would wave his hands and arms in the air as he talked endless but was gentle and skilled when working on client's hair or beards, and the other was Casey the blonde lifeguard who's friendship, quietness and strength he remembered and who had a girlfriend … no they were married now … which was good … so time had passed somehow.

He did not fret at that realisation because he heard Father Antonio's words "Do you trust me Ben?" again, but not what went on around them and remembered he had known the man as a friend … and had been the one to help him instead of the other way round as it was now. They had been parted in sadness and then reunited again as equals and his friend was a Father in the Church this time. … He knew he'd answered yes to that question because he had trusted him in the past and would do so on into the future. And there had been a falling out but the view had calmed him and he hoped his friend and Father would understand and accept him for what he was a stranger to himself and him.

Feeling the need to move he got up and stretched his taught muscles and took off his cap to enjoy the early morning sun on his face and saw he was alone. A quick flicker of fear that he'd been deserted changed to an understanding that they trusted him to stay, knew he need time to come to terms with whatever had happened. He walked across to the other bench and tucked his bag down beside his leg with his arm through the strap and sat down so he could look at the view that seem to mean a lot to him and watch for his friend to come back … and he … they would come back… soon.

His thoughts went back to Jake and why he was coming … he knew he needed to have his hair cut, beard off to see who he really was … but he also felt it was wrong but could not understand why. … These were his friends who wanted to help him and they thought it would help him … help find himself … stop him from being this continuing stranger. … That was good surely … But what if he didn't like what he found … he had already lost something … something that was important to him and something he had to remember … that flicker of thought was gone in a moment but he still felt as though might lose something more by doing this and wanted to find out more.

He pushed back past breakfast and got nothing then found fleeting threads … threads of before darkness fell … yesterday's threads … different gardens and people and realised thinking like this was new even if nothing stayed and were just odd snapshots rather than sequences. … The buzzing that usually brought darkness was there but stayed in the distance … these were not the tumbling chaos of the ones in darkness … in the night … it was daytime. So were what? … Memories … **his** memories not ones told to him so he would know where he was …to keep him grounded ... give him reassurance …

The realisation and thoughts were lost as something flickered not only across his mind and body. It was of a young woman with long black hair and a beautiful reassuring smile along with a feeling of warmth and love when she… She vanished and was replaced first by echoes of a girl's laughter then her as she ran towards him to join him on his bench so she could read through her storybook as they sat by the pond.

She never reached him because she disappeared when he heard Antonio's voice and understood his question and responded to it by with a nod. … He knew he was sitting at The Mission waiting to see Jake and Casey and Father Antonio still trusted him and he would trust him back. And by doing so he would eventually find himself and the girl and woman again.

oxoxo

In spite of Sister Jane's good intention that they leave Ben alone neither did, how could they. They needed to know he had not blacked out or wandered off so they kept a secret watch from one of the windows as they sorted things out. They had to smile the kitchen was the busiest place in the Mission at the moment and that included one officer from the night and day shift. …Apart from the food everyone wanted to check on 'little brother'.

Just as Antonio was going out to talk to Ben now he'd moved to a different bench and his body language showed he was more relaxed, the police officers in the car buzzed to say Casey and Jake had arrived. Still mindful of their argument Antonio made sure he was on the gravel path and in Ben's sight and not too close as he called out just loud enough to get his attention without sounding threatening. "Ben, is it all right for Casey and Jake to come over?"

Antonio smiled at the nod and knew the angry episode was over, most probably totally forgotten … well he certainly was not going to ask to find out was he. He turned and walked quickly to greet the men so they could have a quiet talk as they walked to greet Ben and said casually. "Casey you're bright and early."

Casey laughed. "Yeah blame that on Jake he has an early call to make across the town so we are the very first one. It was really noisy in town last night and Sara's fine still in one piece with baby … if you see what I mean. How are things?"

Antonio smiled and said quietly. "Glad she's okay, it was quite bad, Ben's silent, with no or bitty memory …can't ask him which. We were back to nods etc but we had an argument about the pills, so take things easy though as you'll see he's taken his cap off which is a good sign." To Casey's questioningly look he added. "I'll explain later but think of yesterday's biscuits episode with blazing eyes and clenched fists and it felt like a hundred times worse."

That brought a mouthed 'Ouch' from Casey and an even more puzzled look from Jake who didn't know all the history and was trying to get used to seeing Ben as he was now, but stayed silent and let Antonio carry on. "It's difficult to get any depth with words to help his memories as to what he's done, here we can point to it but nothing about Hank's or Tyus's garden. I guess I need something he can refer back too in his own time and space or we can point to ... no doubt I'll puzzle something out later."

He took a breath and carried on knowing he was going to ask a lot of the man. "But first Casey could you stay with me all day today or most of it? You were with him while I was away after Maria's disappearance …so you can help answer any questions that might come up. Also you'll be another friendly face and can help shift him if he blacks out on me as he did last night. I'll explain what happened later."

Casey nodded understanding the seriousness of the plea and said easily. "Definitely sounds as though life is getting interesting here. It will be all right I talked my boss just now and he's willing to take this afternoons meeting and I've got some paperwork I can do here or at home in the evenings if needs be. All I have to do is confirm what I'm doing and tell Sara of course I've got the answer to one of your problems."

From his bag he got out the small photo album and admitted. "Sara and Gabi's idea actually and an instant camera with film care of Ricardo and as you can see snapshots care of the family with the odd postcard thrown in for good measure ... all labelled with extra blank labels in the bag."

Antonio smiled as he took it and flicked through it then said "Great idea and it won't take up too much space either." Knowing it would go in Ben's bag so he could touch and bring it out and look at it either accidentally or not. And could ask questions by pointing at the photos if needs be or if it was totally forgotten or buried he could tell Ben to find it and start the circle again …Brilliant.

When they were closer to Ben who had been silently watching them Antonio held out the album to break the ice and see if he got a reaction saying. "Ben, Casey has brought a photo album with photos of some of the work and people you met yesterday. You can refer back to it whenever you want to and we can add photos and labels as we go. If you like we can put one of you with the Mission in the background in the front so should you get lost you can show it to someone and find your way back here. I'll keep it for now okay."

He got a nod so he tucked the book away for later and then did the introductions. "This is Casey the close friend I mentioned at breakfast and this is Jake who will cut your hair and beard. We have a photo of you as we remember you, you can look at it and then decide what you want done. No one is going to force you either way if you're not able to speak to us then all you need to do is nod or shake your head and we will understand. Shall we go over to one of the tables in the kitchen area?"

Ben knew he could not talk at the moment so nodded and got up and went over to Casey and Jake, shook their hands with a nod and got a "Morning Ben" back. He found their quiet acceptance felt normal and put him at his ease and he dropped back to let them take the lead in the short distance to the tables.

As they walked Ben watched Jake talking Antonio remembering the gestures and the tone of voice from earlier broken threads. Memories … threads were at night or darkness and jumbled, scary forgotten in a haze on waking … memories were day time and clearer though confusing…

His thoughts stopped as they stopped walking and Jake opened his bag took out a small mirror and photo and looked at him saying. "Ben, where would you like to sit?" his free arm waving across the tables indicating the choice was really his.

Ben felt a shiver got through him and walked over to a seat - the one he had that morning. It was the furthest from the Mission and the easiest to get away from the table if need be … the one Antonio had pointed him to go to for their first meal. Before sitting down he looked at Antonio and got a reassuring nod and sat down. … He could do this … he could trust him.

Casey and Antonio found seats making sure not to crowd Ben, they could see he was hesitant and could not blame him. Jake put the mirror and photo side by side on the table, his Italian accent was pronounced but his voice was soft reassuring. "In your own time Ben, just look from one to the other for now. If you wish me to cut your hair point to the photo and nod. If you don't want it then just shake your head and I can come again. After we do this we will see about the beard. I can take all off or make it look as though you have forgotten to shave for a couple of days. The choice is yours Ben."

Ben took a deep breath and picked up the photo and saw a stranger looking at him, he let it fall with a shiver and a shake of his head as loud buzzing was back and almost overwhelming. He waited a moment and let things settle willed himself not to run … not to panic and took up the mirror and looked at this stranger then ran his hand over his face seeing and feeling the beard. Then he took off the band and shook his hair free and then looked at the face looking back at him and knew it was not him … not the person he really was … and put the mirror down.

He picked up the photo again and this time fought back the buzzing … disjointed confused images spinning round his mind … it was him … as he was … as he should be … he knew those eyes and in a weird way felt comfortable with it … but there was also something frightening about it as well.

Shaking his head he put the photo down and then looked at his friends watching him. He could see worry and yet reassurance in their faces and manner they wanted him to do it. … And he needed to see this stranger back again … find out who he was … is … two strangers in one. … Could he do this? …. Why did he do this … Why did he leave them … Who was he really … stayed unanswered and mixed with the buzzing in his mind.

He went back to the photo and mirror and put side by side so he could see them together … they were both strangers and yet both him. … And suddenly he knew without a shadow of a doubt he **had **to do this.

He pointed to the photo then to his hair and his beard and then looked at Jake and nodded.

Jake wanting confirmation, needing to know what he was going to do would not traumatize his friend any further, knowing neither could be stuck back on again … he would be the person in the photo visually if not in mind and said gently. "You want the hair and the beard cut Ben?"

Ben nodded keeping his eyes on Jake so he could see he was sure … as sure as he could be.

Jake looked at Casey and Antonio and said "If you could get a large mirror so Ben can see what I'm doing as well as the other things I said I would need."

As Antonio left them Jake got a large towel out of his bag ready to put it round Ben's shoulders and hesitated then took it off and said. "Ben, I think it would be good if you have a photo of yourself now as you will have memories of yourself like this. It would make them feel real less like a dream. Casey can do that with the camera and the photo can be put in the back of the album so as not to confuse you."

Ben nodded and watched with everything in his mind tumbling into its normal calm of accepting what came next without question as Casey took the photo of him. He watched it come into being and duly put into the back of the album and labelled and then Casey take the album to the next table where he sat down.

Antonio came out with the large mirror etc and Jake talking quietly to Ben set things up explaining he would cut the hair first and then the beard. Antonio sat with Casey at the other table and watched as Jake with quiet words as he worked and the odd shake or nod of the head Ben turn one stranger into one they could recognise, but wasn't still the true Ben.

Now they'd finished Jake took of the towel and stood slight back and Casey and Antonio watched slightly anxiously as Ben looked from the mirror to the photo which had been left on the table. He knew he was like the stranger in the photo even down to the odd strands of fringe falling across his forehead. … But there were still two differences … the stranger in the photo didn't have a beard … he did one that had been taken back to 48 hour darkness, a stubble that could be shaved off later, when he felt more comfortable with it not being there. The other was the eyes … even in the photo they looked at him with a sparkle and more knowledge than he had.

He then looked back to the stranger in the mirror for answers now they were alike but got nothing … not even a whisper. So he turned inwards for the other stranger and found nothing there … only the familiar buzzing in his mind.

Feeling lost and confused he gave a sharp nod and grabbed his bag as he felt it by his leg as he got up and left them. He need something he could control that was constant and not so overwhelming, his instinct kicked in and took him there.

oxoxo

It had only taken a couple of minutes and Casey, Antonio and Jake watched his reactions and his leaving silently knowing he had to come to terms with what he saw … what he had decided to do on his own. After all, what could they say to him … are you okay … no he wasn't … welcome back … he wasn't back … everything would be all right … not one of them had their crystal ball that morning … and they only knew some of his memories. They certainly couldn't bring the other stranger back and any lies could hurt more than silence. He was the one who needed to come to them when he was comfortable with everything… well what he'd done. They could talk over their thoughts and feels because they weren't strangers to each other… whereas he was still a stranger.

Antonio knew they had been forgotten and Ben needed time alone to think about it all in his own way. He had taken a couple of photos while Jake worked and could show them to Ben later if need be. And he would make sure that he would be with his friend the next time he looked in a mirror in case the shock was too great. There was no going back for any of them now and he wondered if they'd done the right thing. Had they by letting Ben do this put pressure on him, should they have said "No, leave it another day". But Ben had not been comfortable with the other stranger that morning in the washroom he was sure of that. Ben had wanted the change and that surely was a good thing. He just needed the time to adjust, be alone amongst friends even if he didn't know them at the moment and they would give him that.

He watched as Ben now with his cap back on get the key to the shed and get the tools out and knew he would work for a while and hoped he would find the peace he seemed to find doing it. Then he turned his attention to Jake who was quietly tidying up and thanked and reassured him Ben would be okay and they found themselves reassuring each other that this was the better way. That none of them had really wanted the big "Oh yet it's me I remember" from Ben immediately and all its complications. But they also agreed it would have been nice to have seen a flicker of recognition or just a nod of thank you but certainly not a blackout and a set back ... this way their friend would come back slowly and stay with them this time.

After Jake left Antonio and Casey settled down again and watched Ben work in his own world, Antonio knew some part of Ben was still with them because he was doing the work they had discussed about at breakfast. Feeling better about things Casey and Antonio started to swap stories about last night and what happened at breakfast and plans for the day.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

Unquestioningly Ben followed his instincts, letting them guide him to a place of quiet where his confusion and lost feeling might be relieved. Those instincts guided him to find his cap to protect his eyes from the sunlight, find the key to the shed and the tools he would need and then to the right place to work.

Setting the wheelbarrow and tools down Ben slipped his bag off his shoulder so it rested against his leg while he looked at the line of untidy graves and the one in front of him in particular. Automatically he registered what was needed and found the tools for the job then set his bag close by as he worked. Feeling the plants in his hands as he pulled them or tended them and smelling their scent gently pushed their names and how to treat them into his confused mind. After awhile when he removed some dead plants and found bulbs waiting or just starting to shoot into life he knew there was a past, present and future and he was part of it.

As he worked the buzzing and confusion gradually calmed allowing feelings and memories of the stranger he saw in the photo and in the mirror come through. They were random snapshots not necessarily understood or stayed, and some dropped into the background as if ready to be picked up later others disappeared completely. There were other snapshots of just peaceful quiet moments … scenery rather than people and nothing else about them.

Through it all he knew he was feeling more tired than usual … than yesterday … so needed to rest every so often and that this was all right … nothing to be alarmed about, though he didn't know why he was feeling this way.

Finishing another grave he dumped some weeds in the wheelbarrow turned and saw he had missed one. As he dug it out he felt his mother's presences as he had in childhood and smiled remembering her gentle answer to a question. "Ben sweetheart weeds are there to bring us back into the garden so we don't just sit and look at it. By going back and working we appreciate the peacefulness again." and remembered echoes of his father's gentle laughter joining her words as they worked together in the garden. … He knew their knowledge and love had been guiding him through life.

Moving on and tidying the other plants he remembered other childhood episodes … heard a chuckle … one of happiness and playfulness that was identical to his own and the fun they had together … … things as they used to be but weren't anymore. … And knew he had lost him … his identical twin … and it had been his doing. … But also his brother … his twin was at peace now … could not be harmed or do harm.

He stopped his work and looked once again across the other graves to the one where his twin lay and hoped they understood and forgave him. He shook his head knowing nothing could undo the past and went back to work letting the snapshot memories and the peacefulness surround him again.

oxoxo

Antonio and Casey were deep in conversation till they heard someone coming from the kitchen area and looked towards it.

Sister Jane came over with a tray of drinks and smiled a greeting then said innocently. "Father, I know it's not quite eleven yet but as we had an early start and Ben should rest before going to Meg's I decided drinks would be a good idea."

Shocked that it was so late Antonio checked his watch and then looked back at her with a shake of his head at her tease and exclaimed. "Oh, Come on its just gone half nine!" then with a slight nod carried on seriously. "You've got a point though **and** we were awake much too early. Are you joining us?"

Sister Jane gave a gentle laughed. "No Father, some of us have work to do! … Perhaps you might tidy up after him if he wants to sleep."

Antonio smiled and said. "Okay, hint taken Sister we will put the things away for him." he knew she thought it was better if she kept a low profile for a while after this morning's scene and hoped she would join them for lunch and get things back to … their sort of normal … small crises rather than the big one. Though he and Casey had been talking and sorting things out even some paper work he'd noticed Ben was slower than yesterday and occasionally stopped giving his head a shake as though to clear it of something. Had wondered if it was just the drugs or memories about this morning … even regretted doing it or having his hair cut. Possibly a combination or the whole lot, he'd check with Tyus when he called lunchtime or earlier if it got worse, the drink would give him a chance to see Ben up close.

Satisfied all her charges were okay Sister Jane went back to the kitchen and Antonio looked back to where Ben was and got ready to call him over and swore sharply if quietly.

"Antonio?" Casey asked concerned by sudden change and language, he couldn't see anything wrong… he hadn't dropped anything and Ben was working okay.

At his concern Antonio glanced at Casey and shifted so he could see both friends and quickly explained. "Just realised Ben's doing Tim Truman's grave and he's been looking over towards his brother's grave every now and then all morning. Doubt if he knew Tim died it's not likely to have come up in conversation I mean Meg wouldn't have mentioned it and he was with Benjy or Maria the rest of the time. It was old news really sort of forgotten so not on tv or radio." and could not help his heartfelt sigh as he carried on. "I just hope we don't get an angry or bad reaction if we have to tell him its possible Derek murdered Tim because he was having an affair with Tess. … He'll consider it another mark against his name especial where Meg and her family are concerned."

Thinking about it Casey nodded and said. "We still don't know that's what happened so we could just say the truth his body was found in the monument along with Spencer's uniform. He could have died preventing a crime or about to do a crime and fell out with the others and they bunked off. It's only Tim's history with Derek and that Tess was Derek's wife and we now know Derek was around at the time that has lead us to that conclusion. It doesn't say murder on the gravestone and Ben and Tim never got on so he might assume accident and say nothing. If we don't say anything about the grave he might just let the matter lie. You know this place is a minefield for him."

Antonio nodded and admitted. "Everywhere around here is, hopefully it will all help him move forward not backwards." Knowing there was no one else around to hear he raised his voice just loud enough for Ben to take notice and called. "Ben, stop for awhile and have a drink."

Hearing the voice and recognising his name Ben looked up and took notice. With snapshots of memories in his mind he made things tidy and then slung his bag over his shoulder. As he walked towards the kitchen area he recognised the two men waiting for him and knew they needed to know what he was thinking about and wiped his hands on his jeans.

Casey said quietly. "At least he knows his name." Antonio nodded and watched their friend come over.

oxoxo

When Ben got to the table he gave a nod of acknowledgement, pleased there was a glass of hot honey, raspberry and herb for him. His cough was threatening to break through again so he sat down letting his bag slide off his shoulder and rest by his leg and silently drank his drink.

They hadn't expected Ben to talk so Antonio and Casey nodded back their greeting and drank their coffees.

It was just three old friends stopping mid chat or work to enjoy a comfortable silence while having their drinks. Something done every day so no big deal. Only … Antonio could feel a little ripple of excitement run through him, this was their Ben with all his gentleness and character … the silent confused traveller/stranger of the morning was gone … even the cap was shading his eyes rather than hiding them as it had been before.

And so it was quite natural that when Ben put his empty glass on the table and looked at his friends he spoke. They were of course stunned into silence not only by the fact they had their friend back but by his topic, it was as if all three had been on the same wavelength and it was old news, which they all knew about ... sort of.

Ben's voice though husky had his gently British accent and lightness of tone though for the first few words there was slightly apologetic tone as he addressed his friend because of his calling and beliefs. "Antonio I know its wrong … **but** either I or Casey would have killed Tim if Derek hadn't strangled him and hidden him in the sea chest at Surf Central before he and Tess dumped it in the monument. Of course, he had the luck of the devil that it was available that night but they weren't to know the concrete was flawed even without Tim's body in it."

There was a slight causal shrug of Ben's shoulders, which seemed to emphasis his next word as far as the still stunned friends were concerned. "Okay, so Tim might have tried to warn Meg by phone that he'd seen Derek and Tess together in the grotto, but that was only when he was in trouble and I doubt he wouldn't have mentioned anything about my plight otherwise. True he wanted Meg back but it didn't stop him having a fling with Tess or playing her games. But why then put Meg's life in danger by going to Surf Central that night, why not go where there were people or the police station. If Meg had come out of the kitchen while Tim and Derek were fighting she would have been killed. Of course when you and Sara came back with food Derek had to think quick and shove the body in the sea chest and get out quick. He got it later and then used Tess as a distraction while he dumped the body in the monument." Now that urge to speak had lessened he tried to pick up the other elusive threads that seemed to be just out of reach.

Casey couldn't say anything he was too surprised by the change in the man as well as what was being said.

In spite of the shock Antonio was getting used to the way Ben changed, and was catching up fast realising just how Ben would have known about Tim's death and briefly wondered why his friend had not said anything at Southern Avenue when Tess was arrested. But stayed silent not wanting to disturb the flow of information or this Ben.

Ben took their silence and slightly stunned expression to be criticism of his point of view, he understood Antonio's reasons but thought Casey would have supported him. With another snapshot suddenly clear in his mind and the urge to discuss it with them he turned his attention to Casey. He huffed, his exasperation. "**Oh come on Casey**. He set things up so you heard him and Sara arguing about what she'd done months ago to make sure you broke up with her in the worst way and you did. She was heartbroken when you turned her out of Surf Central that night. … Though I'm glad you managed to see sense in the end and married her."

He sighed and then said with real feeling though he couldn't get any memories of the time that must have past and just knew what he said was true. "Just sad I made an ass of myself and lost Meg."

Shrugging his shoulders he paused for a brief moment knowing it was important for his friend to know this snapshot no matter how painful and went on in a steadier tone. "No excuses, I accept I should have thrown Maria out bodily when she refused to leave The Deep that night/morning, but I was too shocked and devastated to think straight. Of course I didn't know Tim and Tess had set up the Casita so Meg would think I had taken Maria there for a romantic outing.

I just thought Meg had had enough of our relationship. ... It was up and down a lot after all. … It's no wonder she didn't want to know I existed and needed your embrace and comfort. … I'm glad you were there for her … though at the time I should have come out and knocked your block off instead of going and hiding away in the office at The Deep. If I had things might have been different, you would have had a headache and I would not have disgraced myself with Maria and have Meg walk in on it in the morning."

Not giving his friend react in anyway Ben sighed with frustration, the snapshot had gone they were all going and he needed to say what was still in his mind so carried on quickly. "Tim needed us to be at odds with each other over Meg so she would go back to him. Instead we quietly went our different ways and Meg stayed with you at Surf Central. Tim never realised I knew Meg needed you as a friend or lover if that's what she wanted. I knew I could not go on hurting her … she had had enough … she made that plain when I saw her later. … Then just before I went to Seattle I knew you two were not lovers … and I started to think I might have a chance in the future if I was careful. … Of course everything made sense when I was told of Tim's death."

He stopped abruptly the buzzing that had been in the background was now intrusive but he pushed passed it and with all the regret he felt showing in his voice said/asked … pleaded his case to his friend. "I know I've hurt Meg deeply and she'll most probably never forgive me for my betrayal. But if you could tell her I'm sorry for the hurt it caused … I caused and that I still love her … and if … if there is any chance of her forgiveness sometime … I would like to give our love another chance … if she will … does … I missed her so much." He gave a slight shake of his head to try and clear it, get back what he was trying to say … think … feel …but it was all gone.

Seeing the empty glass on the table he knew he'd had his drink and his cough felt better, so he picked up his bag as he stood and then slung it over his shoulder. He looked at the man who'd been sitting opposite him and said. "Father, I think Tyus was right I need to rest but I would like to do the garden as promised and perhaps go to the Shock Wave or the beach when the service is on. ... See if I can find something of myself there ... it was so peaceful watching the sunset while sitting on the rocks."

Somehow Antonio managed a calm "Yes, good idea Ben we'll tidy up for you." and watched him walk towards his yard seeing the stranger come back with each step away from them. He'd known they'd lost their Ben because his voice was flatter and tired and his body language said he was asking permission from a senior … a person who had power over him rather than the close friend he'd been talking to earlier. Tucking everything Ben had said and the sadness that they'd lost him again he glanced at Casey.

He knew Casey would be doubly shocked by the revelation and the change in Ben … yep he was shocked but the man was still … with them … thinking … that was good enough for now. Antonio knew he couldn't stay Ben needed him beside him when he went to the washroom to wash his hands etc before sleeping. … If his friend looked in the mirror saw the change and got another shock after this lot … blackout alone … no, that didn't bear thinking about.

So he got up and said firmly but in an understanding tone. "Casey, sort everything out in your mind first before you even think of speaking to Meg. I'll be back in a moment and discuss things then." And walked away with his own misdemeanour concerning Ricardo and Gabi flashing through his mind … yeah he knew exactly how both parties would be feeling but also knew good could would come of it …just as the acceptance of what had happened had done for Ricardo, Gabi and himself … their marriage and Cathy had proved it.

Casey was still trying to get over just how quickly Ben changed personalities and managed a "Yeah okay" and watched Antonio run after Ben. Gradually he accepted what he had seen was in fact all right … sort of … creepy certainly but Antonio had not jumped up and down about it… not rung Tyus for help. And then he moved onto what Ben actually said but not in order just let them jump out at him.

He shivered at the thought of Meg's close call that night at Surf Central … and a what if jumped out at him. … If they had come back earlier … Tim might have lived … the odds would have been in there favour…. Or Derek would have had hostages … no Derek would have been arrested and then they would have known the truth then not later… But they hadn't come back earlier… **Hell!** The sea chest had Tim's body in it! …He'd have to get Hank to burn the damn thing! … They were going to use it for the spare baby things and changing table. … No way! Thank goodness they were not at Surf Central anymore otherwise they would move out tonight! … No now!

He shivered again realising Ben must have been told while he was in Seattle … why tell him … so Derek could … what … enforce the fact that he could … would kill again if necessary ... that he could get so close to Meg and friends family … make someone else disappear without being suspected. **Hell!** It would have put pressure on Ben not to escape … be a good prisoner and wait his fate! ...his death … How the **hell** had he managed to survive? … Why hadn't he been there for his friend Christmas Eve? … Because he'd nearly lost Sara…

He stopped thinking about that as his mind went back to Ben's other words and cringed with embarrassment … **Ben had seen them at South Pier! **… The betrayal he must have felt seeing his soulmate and best friend in such an embrace … and it was an embrace he had been so hurt that he welcomed her feelings and she likewise … so there was no faking what Ben saw and he would have known that embrace and nothing else. **Hell**.

Casey put himself in Ben's place remembering his friend had admitted to being shocked and too stunned to come out in the storm and face them. … Why … Why … Because it had thrown him back to … Oh no … the night of another storm … when he'd walked in on Maria and Derek in the studio bed at Ocean Drive… Maria had thought Derek was Ben so the betrayal was innocent, but still a betrayal through his twin's actions … and then he'd lost her in the drowning … supposed drowning. … **Hell** he'd been beside his friend through those dark painful days … and then years later Meg came and Ben had found love again. … And this time … … this time …it looked like … his closest friend was the betrayer with Meg his new love. …

Who could you go to this time Ben? … No one … …you'd already lost Mark and Gregory.

Where could you go Ben? … You couldn't go home Benjy, Maria and memories were there … so you went to The Deep to be on your own … but at sometime Maria found you there … drowning in your misery. … She would not understand … … because she wanted her dream of you loving her as you used to … and you my friend … how could you have found the words to tell her. … …you said you couldn't think … … and you could not leave because you had nowhere else to go nor could you throw her out.

Or did you try and touching her tipped you over. She would not have understood, and you couldn't tell her …that her wanting you unwittingly pushed you over the line and you clung on unthinking to survive … and Meg … walked in on you when you … what … surfaced and found out what you had done. … That must have been a shock knowing you … and would have doubled your guilt … made you feel you'd betrayed not only yourself but Maria and Meg. Understandably Meg was too hurt to listen to you …But why didn't you walk out on Maria and tell Meg everything later … guilt and events … Maria needed your support and you gave it to her … and you would never have pushed Meg against her will. You needed her true feelings … her true love.

He shook his head and sighed understanding everything now, and went through what he'd done afterwards in the hope of sorting things out for his friends. He'd let the dust settle a little but was never convinced that Ben would have taken Maria to the Casita so he very discretely asked around and found out Ben had been out of town that day without Maria and she'd been see in town so the story hadn't added up. He'd asked Sara how she got to her parents house and got told sharply that Ben had looked after her … cared for her more than he did and had then gone looking for Meg not long before the storm started. He'd left her knowing time was needed and he would build some bridges somehow he loved her. He'd reasoned that Ben had missed them, hadn't wanted a soaking or had been called back home because of Benjy or to The Deep. After all if he'd seen them early enough they would have talked okay shouted it through, and if he'd seen them together in the embrace or while he carried Meg he would have been dead or in hospital…

As he ended those thoughts he swore quietly realising it hadn't only been the action and memories that had shocked Ben it was Meg's words … she had rejected him... wished she'd never known him... never wanted to hear his name again.

But he hadn't known that then, all he'd known was he had an idea that made sense and that was that Tim had been up to his old tricks of trying to get Meg back and Ben hadn't been to the Casita. He'd assumed Tess had unknowingly helped after all she seemed to like Tim … seemed to suit each other. So he'd saw Meg at Surf Central and told her and instead of the tears of joy and plans to stop things going bad he'd got an earful. She'd yelled back at him in anger and deep hurt … that it didn't matter what had happened at the Casita Ben **had **slept with Maria at The Deep and she **had** walked in on them! ... End of story! Period! Forever!

What could he do …proving the story wouldn't do any good … his friends had made their decisions to go their separate ways. He could not split himself in two and he knew he couldn't hurt Meg and he loved Sara … so he had let his friendship with Ben slid and die. Only that had not been the entire story … had it … and now … and now Ben had asked him to intercede on his behalf … wanted Meg to forgive him and give their love another chance. …

Shaking his head a little he smiled … he would do it and she … she would give their love a thousand chances now she really understood her love for Ben … and he … well he would get his best friend back again…

The understatement "I think Ben is a bit confused" broke through Casey's thoughts so suddenly that he looked up at Antonio and quipped back "Yah think so."

They looked at each other and laughed, all the tensions suddenly released into good feelings and Antonio carried on coming to sit beside him saying seriously. "He thinks there are two Megs and doesn't remember anything of the conversation regarding Tim etc." then he gave a huge heartfelt sigh adding casually but with feeling. "I think I'll need that room in Cedar Oaks not Ben."

Casey laughed adding. "I think I'll join you. What happened?"

Antonio gave half a smile then flicked the radio handset he'd got out his pocket on and said. "Little brother's asleep in the yard so watch the passageway, Casey and I will stay on watch and tidy up. But I'll need a break in about ten minutes."

There came "Okay Father, will tell the Officers outside and be out in just over ten minutes unless you want burnt pie later."

Antonio smiled and answered. "We'll wait." then flicked the radio off and put it on the table. He sat for a moment and thought and knew he'd have to be totally honest about his feelings as well as what happened and sighed, then looked at Casey and explained dropping back into memory as he spoke.

"Ben was standing outside the washroom obviously not wanting to go in but knew he needed to … so, I called out that he should wait so I could go in with him. He spun round to face me with a 'what for I'm a big boy now' defensive body language so I explained casually that he'd had his hair cut and beard partly taken off and it might be a bit of a shock if he looked in the mirror. He looked at me for a moment, I suppose he was thinking back then nodded and said "Thank you" and we walked in together."

At Casey's look he huffed and said. "Well he went slightly first otherwise we would have got stuck in the doorway and his voice was flat so I knew he was nearly closed down. He looked in the mirror, then took off his cap and tucked it in his waistband and looked back in the mirror while washing his hands. I could see by the tilt of his head he was puzzled but he stayed silent till he faced me while drying his hands and then said. 'I still don't know him or me, though I don't feel so scared anymore Father.' **That** was heartbreaking but good in its way he hadn't blacked out on me … I hope he never does or we go through what we did last night either. But, I needed to know just where his memory was so I asked gently. "Do you remember talking to Casey and me just now about Tim and Meg?"

I thought I lost him because he stayed silent while he used the urinals, washed his hands and when he got back to drying his hands he looked at me and said. "No I had the drink Sister Jane left for me then told you I needed a rest before doing the other garden and I wanted to go to the Shock Wave or the Beach this evening and you said yes and you'd tidy up for me." Then he picked up his bag and walked past me and over to the porch. Quiet frankly I was stunned, though he'd lost what he told us there was some of the old Ben's gentleness in his voice so hopefully it or he will come back.

Anyway I followed him over to the porch wondering if in spite of his fear of buildings he needed a corner to curl up in… to sort of think about things. But no, the fear was there because he stood in the entrance just close enough to snag his blanket from his bed. I realised then he was going to sleep in the straw chair so I told him he could have mine as well. He gave a nod and snagged it and clutching them to his chest and walked over to the straw chair."

Antonio smiled at the memory as he carried on. "He put them and his bag down and started to lay the bales out so I helped him with the rest and we made a mattress and covered it with the canvas. … He's in shady sunlight, warmth without sunburn, then he folded one blanket into a pillow and the other would cover him against any breeze or just give him that feeling of being protected. But I can't let him do that tonight.

Then he sat on the mattress and started going through his ritual so his bag would be clutched to his chest as he slept. As I knew I would be forgotten soon or possibly was I stood beside him and told him I would wake him when it was time to go to Meg's garden. He looked up at me with those dark empty eyes and said. "Good and you'll stay so she'll not worry about having a stranger in her garden, Father."

Antonio looked his friend in the eye and exclaimed with feeling.** "Hell**! Casey what could I say to that!" and moved his gaze as he carried on. "I could not help the slight smile as I tried to reassure him that I would stay and so would you and that he knew Meg so there would not be any trouble about him being there. … I suppose I was hoping he would remember something but he didn't. … He just shook his head and said "We only met yesterday at Hank's garden Father, so she can't know me. Then added in a half whisper … I don't even know myself."

Glancing at his friend he exclaimed. "He is **so** frustrating Casey! … I knew of course I would not be able to get passed that barrier and he was sounding and looking very tired … so I just gently reassured him that everything would be okay and he could rest and he was amongst friends. I got a nod and a quiet "Thank you Father" and then watched as he lay down on his side tucking his bag to his chest and within a couple of seconds after our eyes met his were closed and he was asleep so I covered him with the other blanket.

You know I envy him that … not the fact he could wake with nothing … just to be able to switch off and sleep like that. … I stood there for a moment just looking at him … he looked so peaceful it seemed unfair he should be so confused when awake and I wanted so much to stop being 'Father' to him and be his friend again.

I knew I could not hang around and we needed to talk so on the way back I mulled things over … hence my exclamation because we not only have two Bens jumping from one to the other we have at least one of them thinking there are two Megs!"

Casey gave a slight smile understanding Antonio's frustration and said. "He sees you as two people at the moment as well, but you've always been his friend that's why he chose you to come back to. … Something deep down has told him he is safe with you and you can cope with all this mess, we all value your friendship as well as the Father side of you, only we don't usually see the join."

Antonio nodded and smiled feeling slightly reassured, Casey knew he'd said enough on that point explained his thoughts. "I think part of the reason he's confused about Meg is because his soulmate didn't have a house and garden when he left Sunset Beach she was at Surf Central and this Meg has. There is also the fact he thinks he's betrayed soulmate Meg and she'll have nothing to do with him … while this other Meg will because she wants her garden done and talked to him yesterday."

He added lightly seeing Antonio's expression of confusion and not blaming him. "Either way a Meg will get a Ben … we'll make sure of that. … I'll ring her up get that bit about the Pier sorted so she'll be okay by the time we go round to the garden. I assume we are still going."

Antonio smiled and nodded. "Yeah …Don't forget he understands why it happened and trusts you as much as he trusts me. He's asked you to intercede on his behalf and it was also important to him that she knows all of it. But … and that is a … big but … I don't want Meg to touch him, she's got to give him time to get stable."

Casey laughed and Antonio shook his head and chuckled then took a deep breath. "Okay who am I kidding? No don't answer that. I'm going to ring Tyus and Ricardo. Then I'll deal with the rubbish and tools."

"Okay but I'll help as well." Casey said as he stretched his arms then got up and took his phone out his pocket and added. "I'll go over to the other seats to give you space as I'm going to have a brother and sister chat with Meg and than ask if Hank can help me get rid of that damn sea chest and face Sara for me."

Antonio nodded as he dialled and got an answer right away and said "Tyus can we talk about little brother. … … Good, you know those pebbles we chucked into his mind yesterday. … … Well, he's been throwing boulders back at us … … Yeah but we ducked, well sort of … … …

oxoxo

Casey couldn't help laughing as he walked away from Antonio it was so apt. He sat and dialled and got a pick up straight way and wondered if everyone was waiting by their phones this morning. "Hi Meg are you at home or your parents' house. ... … Good and Joan still with you? … No Ben's okay I just need Hank to get rid of the sea chest in the nursery and then face Sara with the reason. … … Umm there's no easy way of telling you this but Ben told us Derek killed Tim at Surf Central and hid his body in the sea chest."

He winched at Meg's language then carried on gently wanting to get the rest of it out as quickly as possible so they could discuss it after the shock had worn off. "Meg, Ben saw us under South Pier … … no the last bit just before I took you home and that's why he did what he did with Maria." He held the phone away from his ear for a moment then came back to it and said. "Meg… Meg its okay we can talk this out Ben understands why it happened. He's asleep so I've got time but you should know he does not remember what he's told us nor does he know you are his Meg and Antonio wants it kept that way when we come round later. ... … …Okay let me talk to Joan then I'll get back to you just remember you love each other.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

Trying to sort things out in his mind as well as checking he'd got everything for the meeting Ricardo left the office he was using at Sunset Beach Police Station and nearly bumped into Jude, he stopped and took stock and asked, "How are things?"

Jude's frustration was clear as he exclaimed with feeling. "If I hear about another child being an angel I'm going to hit the roof big time!" and they started to walk along the corridor together.

"That bad then." Ricardo replied sympathetically knowing what it was like having parents and children in the station for the first time especially if it was in the early hours of the morning. Now though it was late morning and the rumour around the station was ten children and rising in different stages of questioning, cautioning and implication through other children. He was **so **pleased he was just a helper now.

Jude half smiled accepting Ricardo's support and carried on. "Yeah that bad and I've still got a couple more coming in later … they are older and been in before so know the ropes. Honestly you'd think homework sleepovers on the spur of the moment would have sent some warning bells ringing. But no, not a tinkle … ah well guess they will be band for a lifetime after this. Of course it doesn't help we are taking their computers away from them either. Are you ready? I hear Tyus and the boys have just arrived."

Ricardo smiled and said. "Yes on both accounts, by the way I've news on the missing teenager … he's safe, I'll explain later so we don't keep Tyus waiting."

Jude looked at Ricardo weighing up what they had been discussing earlier about the lost boy and said slowly "Okaay but reassure me about the parents."

Knowing Jude's thoughts Ricardo said. "More like the brother and sister trouble. I don't suppose there's anything we can do about Tess now we know she knew about Derek earlier than she claimed."

Jude was learning to respect Ricardo's judgement and accepted the change of subject. "No not without solid proof against her. Of course it would have been better if Ben had said some thing to the Officers on Christmas Eve. But I can understand he didn't want to do it in front of Meg, she had been close to Tim and there was Hank's attitude to consider as well and he had to get used to freedom. It most probably got buried as the day wore on and then it was another thing against him coming back. Now he seems to be clearing the decks to come back which is good. The Chief has already admitted someone should have been sent round later that day and it might have been picked up then so its not Ben's fault.

Even so we've no proof it actually happened that way Derek might have decided to make up the story to keep Ben quiet, but if it happened that way Ben's not going to be considered a stable source, no offence to him intended. You said in the note Hank was going to get rid of the sea chest.

Ricardo nodded and said. "I took the liberty of asking Spence to talk to Hank and suggest it goes to the lab for testing. I expect it's had a few things in it and possibly cleaned as well as so don't expect much, as you can imagine the family is not happy. There was a blanket with the body in but that was just an ordinary blanket, millions of the things sold. What about aiding and abetting after the murder."

Jude sighed. "Again no proof any evidence from the chest will point to Derek not Tess and she'll stay silent on the matter or deny it say it Derek twisting Ben's tail. She's pleaded guilty to deception and minor charges so Benjy can have a new start without it going through the courts. We can't drag this up on the off chance Ben and Benjy have been through enough. We've no proof she was at the site unless the site manager changes his story of a toilet break. He'll have a lot lose if he was off site for any other reason so he'll keep to his story. It might affect her visits regarding Benjy or her chance of parole when that comes up but again we need proof can't just be hearsay. All we can do is wait and see what Ben has to throw at us and add it to the pile if necessary."

Ricardo nodded that had been his view of things and let Jude carry on. "By the way Castletown had a firework display last night a bit earlier than ours. Do you remember that supermarket mess up a couple of months ago?"

Bringing it to mind Ricardo checked it with him. "You mean when kids invaded the shop about a quarter of an hour before closing and used big notes for small items and demanded the money be counted into their hands. Wasn't it done through emails and chat rooms to get back at the manager for supposedly short changing a kid?"

"Yeah, looks like similar thing here, general annoyance without getting caught because they didn't expect the police to come running quite so quickly. But we've got a lot of machines and statements to go through before we get the real picture."

Ricardo said with feeling, "Yeah well … they succeed on the annoyance point." remembering Cathy's reaction and the fact he'd left Gabi and Cathy sleeping in and he would have to try and catch up on his sleep later or not at all.

Jude nodded remembering his disturbed night and smiled as they entered the office acknowledging Tyus and Paul and then Jude introduced the other man there. "Ricardo this is FBI Agent Patrick Smithson." As they nodded acknowledgments Jude added. "Patrick, are you willing to carry on with us, or do you have to go back to work."

As Jude and Ricardo sat down Patrick laughed then answered, "This is far more interesting than the pile of paper work, especially as you had us flown back."

Jude smiled. "Thanks for that I know equipment helicopters are not the most comfortable rides. Your cars will be here around lunchtime. Its Paul I really need first, can you carry on with us?"

Paul nodded and Jude informed him of his next job. "Great. I would like you to work with our IT unit as I have a lot of kids' computers which means irate parents because their loved ones don't have their dummies at home. It's regarding last night's firework then firecrackers through out the town at about 1 am, lasted about ten minutes and scared the hell out of Ben and Antonio come to that.

Have a word with Castletown police they had fireworks last night see if it was proper party or not. I need to know if this was just a one off prank, a coincidence or a start of a chain of events with a gang leader and if it was organised what time it started the rounds. Perhaps you or another officer could check around other towns and nights see if there's a pattern. By the way when I said you might be joining the group there was a general sigh of relief so don't worry about treading on people's toes and they will guide you on legal aspects when needs be. I need a result of some kind before tonight or even better before close of school. The kids need to know we mean business and hopefully it will stop any copycats tonight. I really don't want Ben to be disturbed again or another hurt child."

Paul nodded as he finished scribbling notes so Jude moved the meeting on. "Tyus thank you for coming, any more news on the injured boy before we turn to Ben."

Tyus nodded. "Yes his face is okay but fingers and hands will need skin grafts so he'll need help for awhile. Not a pleasant way to make the kids think twice but it might. The mother has asked that photos be taken to schools and shown but as that will leave out the older kids or truants she wondered about tv but no interviews from her just pictures and a statement."

"We'll arrange that." Jude confirmed and let Tyus finish. "I'll be checking in on Ben around lunchtime, emergences permitting. It looks as though he's trying to clear things up before coming back to himself or us. He should be going to or be at Meg's garden about now, though he's not running to a timetable especially after the events of the morning."

Jude nodded and looked across at Ricardo with half a smile. "Ricardo and I were thinking it might be better if Meg and Antonio are kept more in the picture from now on. We'll explain what is known and what are our thoughts and they might be able to work out if this threat that is worry Ben is old news or not. Also they can give Ben any information we get, which would be better than me or Ricardo walking in and giving it."

Tyus nodded. "I agree but we have to be careful about second guessing him as none of us have the whole picture and we can't rush him in either direction. His temper so far is controllable the fact he didn't hit out at Sister Jane or Antonio proves that, but if it does go it could leave guilty feelings on all sides especially if someone is badly hurt. We know Ben can defend himself and I'm sure being on the road would have sharpened up those skills."

Jude and Ricardo nodded then Ricardo asked. "Do I start?"

Jude hadn't been able to make up his mind whether to start with the first sighting or the last and work backwards so tossed up in his mind and said. "No let's start with middle of March I assume our southern address card didn't feature in your timeline or been in touch."

Ricardo said. "No message back yet."

Seeing shakes of the heads from Patrick and Paul, Jude carried on looking at them. "Okay let's leave that one till later; once we finished you two can mark up the timeline board for us. We still refer to him as Little Brother even though the whole station knows about him. The station is busy so I can't guarantee who will come in or out of the office or over hear things but I still want to try and keep a lid on this a little longer. AJ is dealing with the newspaper at Lib corp. but there are others who cannot be controlled without going to court and I'm not doing that. When the time comes to go public we will do it through Vanessa and possibly in the form of a police statement.

Tyus, we've set up two cars in the area of the Mission day and night. The one last night could not move till back up came, we'll have one stationary outside and the other cruising around nearby or parked up say a minute or two away at the most. They will swap duties and be linked by the special radio of course. Do you think that is enough to cope if he runs?"

Tyus thought for a moment and said. "Yes and they know not to yell or confront him."

"Yes, and they are volunteers who know Ben so that should help and of course there are the Fathers and Sisters at the Mission who will look out for him as well."

Tyus nodded and explained what was worrying him. "It should be okay, unless there is a complaint made to the Medical Officer at Cedar Oaks. As I know Ben's reservations about her I'm in contact with another specialist Doctor, unfortunately he cannot fly in till tomorrow lunchtime. We are in phone contact and he agrees with me Ben must not be shut up in a building or even a confined to a garden area. He needs to know he can leave at any time, which means Cedar Oaks is the last place he needs to be. Unfortunately that would be the first place she will take him to be assessed and treated and I'm pretty sure she will add Derek's behaviour into the mix.

Even though I'm treating Ben by proxy at the moment if she brings in an order I will have to accept it and let him go there conscious or unconscious. Of course it helps that Antonio and Meg are medical guardians, trying to get them together might delay things and means I might be able to get Judge to stop the move or release him as soon as possible."

Jude nodded and started writing while saying. "Right, I'll give you the names of a couple of Judges who can be contacted easily … though going to them too early might be sighted against you i.e. you knew he was a threat etc."

He handed the paper over to Tyus adding. "We'll keep this fairly brief, as I know you've got patients to get back to. If you think you need full written reports let me know and I'll get them sent over." He then looked at Patrick and Paul and asked. "So which one goes first?"

Paul smiled and started. "Okay, first of all they confirmed we're talking about the same traveller, he had the jumper from the beginning. The first shelter said he was in a bad way, that meant silent, shut down and grubby rather than physically hurt and starving. They reckon he had not had a good meal for a few days rather than weeks. They didn't start the money envelopes didn't know about the food box either. He wouldn't let anyone near his bag and he could stare anyone down who tried to take it or his outside shelter. He knew the ways of the 'road' and kept himself to himself. They checked around the other helpers and reckoned it could have been a group of rowdy travellers that made him move on but not sure.

Adjusting to the information Tyus asked, "How did Ben communicate?"

Paul answered. "No attempt at speaking used a bit of sign language very basic gestures one of the helpers said it was something you might teach a child. For example pointing to himself to say me, or the other person for you, to his eye to suggest see or look then point at the object he wanted you to look at, also tapping someone on the arm twice quickly but gently to get their attention ... certainly not the complicated sign language of the deaf or dumb. They liked and felt at ease around him even when he was really closed down.

They never actually saw him have a blackout but he needed to be reminded of things especially first thing in the morning so they put blackouts on his card knowing you don't have to collapse on the ground to have an episode. Their doctor did a quick look over and thought he was okay no obvious head injury. If the travellers wanted they could earn money by gardening, he joined the group automatically; they noticed he was more relaxed in the garden area there.

He also went to other gardens but left early without his helper once and a police officer brought him back, they don't know if he got lost or blacked out, before they could communicate with him he was back in his shelter and asleep. He didn't know anything on waking. The Officer told them the traveller approached him and handed him the card face down and just waited. He didn't show any reaction when the card was turned it over to be read nor did he respond to the Officer's questions. Except one, a nod when asked if he wanted to be walked back to the address on the card, so they weren't sure if he could actually read. They assumed he'd just remembered to hand over the card and it will help. He'd not shown any interest in any papers that were left around on the garden seats by other travellers or helpers."

Tyus nodded and Jude said. "They didn't try and find him when he left then."

Paul shook his head. "Travellers are expected to come and go when they want to, he was not ill or hurt or a threat to anyone and he could look after himself they knew that.

It's the same story with the short stay one except he paid for his food with money envelopes, which means he must have met someone between the two shelters who drummed the idea into his head as well as earning or giving him enough to survive on. He didn't use sign language at all, mind you it was only a short stay and it was in a noisy busy area, even when we were there two men were yelling at each other. The helpers calmed things down fairly quickly and did it well. They gave him the card because he handed them one, thought it was what he did as he went from place to place, sort of see the states on foot and this is my base for now. They did not consider him a threat he just wanted to be left alone which they did.

Paul paused for a moment then carried on. "I'm still trying to work out how he managed not to walk round in circles or just stay still if he didn't remember anything on waking. It must have been pure luck that he came across the shelters when he did and good instincts to have survived the way he did." He gave a fleeting smile adding. "Oh yeah, somehow he always made sure he had one lot of clothes cleaned, they wondered if that's what he stopped for … he always liked clean clothes with memory so I guess that didn't change when he didn't have it. Back to the first shelter, we also checked a couple of others in nearby towns just in case he was there earlier or later but no joy."

"Okay what about the first reluctant one." Jude asked looking at Patrick knowing his expertise would have been needed to open doors.

Patrick sighed. "Okay. There are two shelters the town the quieter better one was full so they escorted him to the other one. That one is in the process of being closed down now so I waved my magic badge to get the information. Briefly Ben was in a state had been in the hedgerows and was agitated when he was found so he might have been having blackouts or just bad luck or nightmares … whatever it was he was not capable of explaining anything to them. But he did want to go with them, he wouldn't get in the vehicle so two of them walked with making sure they didn't crowd him … as I said he was agitated but silent.

The shelter was an austere building in a high wooden fenced compound and in view of Ben's history must have sparked a few bad vibes. Just to add to the fun while he was there they had two drive-by shootouts; a couple of days between them, the last one caused Ben to run. Actually they all ran under police escort and no one realised Ben was missing till later that night."

Tyus swore and asked heatedly, "Did anybody treat Ben at all."

Patrick snorted and said "Sort of. Of course Ben being completely silent, closed down and agitated didn't help matters … add their lack of money, time etc. The only thing they could do was to prescribe calming pills and make sure he was kept in the compound while on them. They issued the card so he could be returned to them should he leave … escape. They grudgingly admitted they had trouble giving him the pills … but they were used to awkward customers so got him in the end."

He handed Tyus the name of the pills and Tyus gave a shake of his head as he read the name but stayed silent allowing Patrick to carry on. "Unfortunately when the first shooting happened, which was just a couple of shots Ben sat hunched in the corner of the yard rocking forwards and backwards obviously distressed. They gave him another pill to stop it and that was when he floored one of the burly helpers so they were careful with him after that, but they made him take the pill. The helper we talked to was an ex-nightclub bouncer so you can imagine his size and capability. He said it wasn't physical force after the first time, it was a case of they gave him the pill and a drink on a plate and then sat and watched him take it. Then they would let him have his food, it was meant to be taken before food. The helper admitted that if looks could kill they would have been dead each time they did it but he did take the pills and he was calmer. Other than that he was harmless and when he was on duty he made sure everyone left him alone."

Ricardo winced looked at Tyus and said. "No wonder they had the scene and he hated Antonio."

Tyus said evenly though they could see he was cross. "Yeah and unfortunately the pills would have left him feeling very fuzzy headed **and** that was the last thing he needed. At least Ben trusted Antonio enough to take them and as the fuzzy feeling never happened he might be better at taking them lunchtime. At least we can talk him through it now we know and yes he has to take them. Mix those shootings with Derek's death and it might account for his reaction last night especially if you add interrupted dreaming or nightmares it cut through."

Though intrigued by what they'd missed Patrick carried on. "The second shooting was a big one, lots of police shot back, so there was a lot going on. It's a pity he got missed in it all, the new temporary place was out of town and because of the shootings a doctor was going to assess them for stress etc. Ben might have got proper help if he was found. Don't get me wrong they gave him clean shelter, food and cleaned his clothes it was just a very bad place for him."

Tyus said thinking it through. "He was lucky he didn't run into any bullets and he most probably found the nearest hedge and hid till his head felt better, possibly slept a lot then would not go near a town for awhile even if he didn't remember the shooting clearly. Surprised he found or even went to the last shelter. Then again if his memory completely clears of events when he blacks out he most probably woke up and walked the way he was facing or the easiest way as though nothing had happened and continued till he found the shelter or was found by someone."

He paused then looked at Jude and said. "Right Jude, we know he's having flashbacks of things that are important to him or possibly affected him strongly so if he runs for any reason he could revert back to that situation, which means your officers back off … no weapons or anything that looks like a weapon that includes radios and phones in hands. Use them out of sight if they are looking for him then check hedges or weeping type trees or very long grass rather than buildings or walls. You know the drill hands where he can see them, palms showing, sit if he's sitting no towering over him, and talk quietly to him if they can otherwise just to sit nearby till Antonio or I arrive. If he needs to be talked down then do it gently no raised voices and we'll just have to hope no one's car back fires near him."

Jude smiled slightly and nodded asking, "What about being out with Casey and Antonio."

Tyus thought for a moment. "He's shown restraint and trust when around Antonio and he seems to trust Casey as he's been in the back of the truck and talked to him. So a lot of the old instinct is there now he's back on familiar ground, we've just got to give him time and trust. As long as he keeps to the quiet parts of town and quiet times I think he will be okay. He does seem to understand police means safety, which is good so the officers should be in uniform at all times.

I would like a full written report on what you have found as quickly as possible along with phone numbers of people I can talk to if you think I might get anything more out of them. Unfortunately by putting this in writing it could make a stronger case against Ben staying at the Mission should a complaint be made or he runs and we have to put a call out for him. The reports as you know can be called for and we would have to hand them over especially if Dr James is not around. We could try losing them if she asks for them but I expect she'll have that covered before she comes. After all she knows Ben's views on her treatment from when she treated Maria so she knows he won't ask her for help. I got two possible times for her arrival back here one is late tonight and the other is the first plane in the morning."

Jude nodded and turned to Ricardo, "Right the last place." to his surprise both Patrick and Paul smiled.

Ricardo nodded with a smile and said to Paul and Patrick. "Mrs Gossip was sorry she could not see you but she thought you were there to take away her other client. Once she realised you were not there to take him away she contacted me this morning as promised."

"Mrs Gossip." Jude said wondering if that was her real name.

Paul smiled and said. "Yeah, but doesn't nor does her husband or staff … though from the photos at the shelter she's a very homely, mum type person just right for Ben after the last one. It's a halfway house as well."

Ricardo nodded and explained. "Yes but she not too overpowering though. He was in quite a bad state, totally shut down and they only found him because she and her husband travels the roads looking for lost souls. She is known so people usually point her in the right direction and they also do a soup kitchen for the ones who do not want to come in but still need food and help. They do it without fuss or pressure and point them to safe hedges if needs be. Her husband walked him to the shelter once they realised he would not go near the vehicle; he must have known he needed help because he went with him willingly. She knew he had been deeply traumatised at some point because of his empty eyes and the fact he was reluctant to accept any food from them at first.

They walked into the garden at shelter and he made straight for a comfortable tree to sleep under and stayed. She and her husband gave him bedding and prepared some food on a camp stove for him so he could see what was going in it and he ate it, luckily they had an outside washroom and he used that. Though she told me she would have found an earth bucket and a hose for him if need be, she certainly was not going to lose him. She admitted she was unnerved by the way he switched off to sleep but they watched over him from a distance to make sure he was still around in the morning.

That was when it became clear he had no idea where or who he was or who they were. She said it was bit like leading a child for the first five or ten minutes; he trusted them and listened to them as they explained everything and started to cooked breakfast for him. That was when the wariness came in but he accepted the food watching them as he ate it. Afterwards he gave them an envelope of money and his dirty washing, which she thought was fair exchange, and as they had his clothes she knew he would stay." He smiled as he added. "She hoped by the time they got to the second set of clothes being washed they would have his trust."

The others nodded understandingly and he carried on. "Mr and Mrs Gossip were his main carers, they noticed his level of trust varied but gradually evened out to trusting them but he never let anyone close to his bag always slept with it close to his chest. Would go to it on waking and once she found out about the food box she made sure something was in it. She reckoned he had touch memory, touch bag look in it eat if hungry if not leave it then check surroundings for hints of what to do. If he couldn't keep his bag with him it would be close enough so he would trip over it to get out the garden or if there were people around he was between it and them. So she made sure no one touched that bag other than the traveller.

They talked everything through with him repeating as necessary including what he had done the day before when it looked as though he'd forgotten. Once or twice when in the shelter garden or work area and he would stop and look around and seeing his sleeping area would walk over to it and sleep regardless of time. They got nods and shakes of the head, which progressed as he got used to them into basic sign language and his body language apparently spoke volumes about his attitude towards them... good moods and bad moods. They made sure someone was up at dawn when he woke to tell him he was okay and food would be coming soon.

On the second day there they had to stop him cooking his own food because he blacked out on her and they didn't want him to hurt himself if he did it near the fire. She said the blackout lasted about ten minutes and when he came round he was distant so she took him back to familiar surroundings and gradually over an hour or so he 'came back to her'. She didn't know what caused it she just watched him fold onto the ground; luckily it was onto grass so he didn't hurt himself. She gave him an address/help card but he tore the name of the town off so she gave him another without it and he accepted it.

She said he automatically did her garden and helped her husband with some repairs to fences etc so she sent him round their friends. The two of them walked him round and one of them would collect him, or stay with him if necessary. They put some money in envelopes and gave them to him. He put some in the plastic box the rest went in the bag possibly as a reserve, they'd taken money for his keep out at the beginning and he knew that. She believed he could read because not long before he left them he'd picked up and scanned the odd paper that was left lying around. She said it reminded her of someone waiting for something familiar to appear in front of him to let him know that he was looking for. Rather than reading something of interest, she asked if she could help and got a shake of the head so knew the subject was closed. I think because she took the time he actually started to come out of himself and really tried and trust someone again." He couldn't help a slight smile as he added. "Oh yes, she nearly dropped the phone when I told her he was speaking which was just as well for my ears."

Smiling Tyus asked. "Why did he leave?"

Ricardo chuckled "He might have heard Antonio's appeal about the runaway on the local music station. Usually they had taped calm music, as she said loud music or drum rolls tended to send people running for cover. But they had a new helper who liked the music station and Mr and Mrs Gossip were out on an emergency, which left Ben and the new helper working in the grounds, the other helper was in the house. When they came back Ben had gone with his bag so she knew he was okay. Neither of the helpers actually saw him go, but the new one noticed he stopped working when someone had been talking on the radio, so we reckon he heard it a couple of times and something clicked. Antonio has said he switches from one thing to another quite easily and the other thing is forgotten completely. Somehow he must have found the right direction and walked here.

She didn't try to find him because she respected his right to travel though she was a bit worried about his cough. He would not let her get a doctor, though she managed to get him to have an herbal drink for it but it was not getting any better. In fact she wondered if her trying to get him to take the drinks made him go now she knows differently. Needless to say she wants to come over and see him but as she knows he's okay and with friends he trusts she's going to stay back there with a certain young teenager who needs her help at the moment."

Jude said quietly. "Ours."

Ricardo smiled "Yes, a bus driver put him down there; they know it's a safe house so they have discretion to pick youngsters off the kerbside and take them over there. The lad's claiming his brother and sister are bullying him and the parents wouldn't believe him and there is friction between the parents anyway. The brother and sister are bright he's more hands on type of boy so it's a complicated case. He needs help rather than being dumped either in care or back with the parents while it's sorted, she's got a suggestion she would like to run by you."

"Right we'll deal with that as soon as we've finished here. At least Ben found a good home for some of the time. Right lets move on to the email and his money."

Patrick sighed. "An ATM will hopefully give us a picture either later today or in the morning." He smiled at the look Jude gave him and continued. "It's taken a Judge's order and loads of phone calls because it's gone to the place all old ATM's go to, to be taken apart, melted or squashed, hopefully none of these have happened yet. They have to find the actual machine and then hopefully his picture is one of the ones stuck in the camera part."

"Okay, when was it taken out of action. " Jude asked not quite believing their luck.

"February, several days after Ben used it, it was an old machine that liked eating cards and sometimes refused to spit out the money so they replaced it with a bigger better version."

"Interesting. Should we read anything into it?"

"No, only that Ben was lucky not to have his card eaten or be moneyless. We traced back that name and address, we found the man does not exist and the office was empty and clean of dust and prints, which always gets the hairs on my neck to stand up on end." Patrick said softly.

"So you're thinking of scam somewhere along the line." Jude asked cautiously.

Paul answered instead of Patrick. "Yes unfortunately, but whether it was a big one or not we will have to wait and see if Ben gives us anything.

Regarding the email that was sent to Meg, we have two choices, someone outside the internet café used it as a false location or it was left undetected in the machine till the right time and then sent, the machine then had a virus and died. I certainly don't believe the ten year old who was on the machine at the time the mail was sent was capable of doing it."

Jude sighed and said softly. "After hearing about our crowd last night I wouldn't be at all surprised if she didn't do it all."

Patrick chuckled. "This one had mum with her and the café owner had to keep going to help them sort things out that's how they knew the machine was dying and not just their mistakes."

Paul continued. "Either way we are dealing with someone who knows computers, I'm going to put a tracer and protection on Meg's machine as soon as possible in case we get another call with an unwanted present attached. The email address and Meg's reply are gone. The virus only hit that machine in the café and it needed a new hard drive so evidence has been lost as the old one was completely destroyed.

If it were a sleeper mail it could have been in the machine for days, weeks or months and no one would know it was there. We can go through tapes of people coming and going but we'd need a time frame and who we are looking for and he will be changing tapes at the end of the week, reusing the older ones first. He said we could exchange the old tapes for new if we wanted to as long as he got the new ones first. I assume that is possible as you got a helicopter for us."

Jude nodded and said "Well that was a rushed job but AJ is giving us help. I'll talk it over with him can you give me a price to work with?"

Paul nodded and continued. "The cameras are very well hidden so I don't think anyone would think about them after all you can't walk out with the computer under your arm, and there are cameras at each end of the road to put off snatch and grab merchants for the till money."

"So what are you two thinking?" Jude asked beginning to know they were on the same track and not liking it one bit.

Patrick looked at Paul and nodded so Paul spoke up for the pair of them. "We know Ben has been silent since March so there is the possibility that he befriended someone during January and February and they are doing this because they feel jilted because he walked out on them. Or it's the jailer who was around when Derek drugged Ben for his memories, though why someone with that much computer knowledge would have looked after Ben for four months amazes me. Unless it was a cover for his computer obsession sort of get paid while playing, therefore there wouldn't be very much contact between Ben and jailer as he was just a side line to pay the rent."

Ricardo nodded his agreement.

Jude thought for a moment then looking at Patrick knowing he was a profiler as well as an agent and thought out loud. "He does seem to be intelligent … as far as I remember he rarely used local shops so could not be traced by camera or use of cards. Everyone knew he wore disguises and accepted it as normal for him … so he was confident in what he was doing. We've not come across any unidentified bodies since Christmas, so I reckon that means Derek left him alive. If he was a computer wizard that might be the reason we've never found out how he was paid, he would have known how to hide it on or off the computer. So do we have to look out for the Jailer coming after Ben now he's around and getting his memory back? "

Patrick took the hint and said. "From what Paul's told me I think he's too canny to be around this email was done to tease, remind Meg what happened and who she is missing, which means he does keep an eye on the papers probably via the internet. Logically if he uses disuse outside he would have with Ben. As to what or when Ben went over the edge I don't know but it was definitely before the middle of March. He was silent and …well comfortable with being the way he was and knew the way of the road and were to find help and that does not shout out learner to me."

Jude thought for a moment. "Okay, I don't know if Paul told you but Ben's been around homless kids for years so would know about being on the road without actually being on the road. That might have given him the edge. So you're saying the email is not a distraction while someone comes in and makes trouble."

Patrick smiled knowing what Jude was doing and exclaimed. "That's **soo** unfair of you. There is always that possibility but I don't think so. He cannot be sure you're not waiting for him to turn up rather than having a countrywide hunt for him. I think its stirring from afar with no risks. Whether he knows Ben is here or not the email causes pain ... if he's not here it sets Meg's hopes up reminds her of what she's missing. He'll know asking for money could trap him when he picks it up so does put in a threat. On the other hand if Ben was here with Meg think of the timing and the shiver it would send down Ben's spine … it's sent to Meg not him …she would turn round and ask him if he sent it he would say no and know who did. Twice the kick and little or no risk."

Jude nodded understanding the kick it would produce … was producing. "Tyus about Ben how soon do you think it will be before he comes back to us and more importantly will he stay, as Ben or will he flick back into the stranger."

Tyus looked at him and chuckled then said seriously. "You really don't believe in the easy ones do you? Okay, will he stay stable once he returns? Yes, from what Antonio told me the past is settled and he knows he wants Meg but on her terms not his. **If** she says no then I think he will walk away from us possibly back on the road rather than chose death, as Patrick and Paul say he's a survivor. When you think about it his financial ties here can be easily settled The Deep and Java Web have run quite happily without him, friends are also settled so he can move on start again if needs be, he's done it before, just the same as we have when needed.

**What** I don't want is Meg being frightened by this possibility; tell him things she thinks he wants to hear. Its better she tells him her doubts, her true feelings and he goes and comes back when she's ready for him. If she doesn't he'll take it as pity not love and walk away … he wants … needs her to be happy. That's why he's doing it this way giving her information about Tim etc. **We** **all** have to tell him the truth, step back if needs be especially Meg's parents, from what I know he respects Hank, Hank has to show him that respect as well. Meg and Ben have to sort this out for themselves but also Ben has to be stable enough to do it and he's not yet."

Tyus sighed and looked round the group who gave nods of understanding then he carried with a shrug of the shoulders. "When will he come back? Too many things to take into consideration to give an actual day or week or month, he feels safe at the Mission probably more relaxed now there are fewer people around. He knows he is safe with Antonio, last night and this morning proves that. Providing he feels comfortable at Meg's garden, seeing her away from old memories as in Hank's garden will be a good thing. Make her more real to him help make him remember she is special and will make new memories that will say he's seen her since he was in Seattle.

You have to remember she was a memory for four months while he was there then he saw her Christmas Eve and left Christmas Day morning which would mean she's dropped back into memory again. Possibly so buried it was just something on the edge that he could not grasp till yesterday and that's why we have two Megs. Memory Meg and physical Meg and they need to become one in his mind so it can become stable again. If this morning is a success he could be back with us as early as lunchtime and it could be just like earlier sit down and say Hi guys I'm back can I move in with Meg and sort things out."

They all looked at Tyus surprised he gave a smile and continued. "Of course he could do it the hard way by collapsing on us and then waking up with nothing again but then we can repeat the whole story to him reinforced by photos and or revisiting gardens for as long as it takes, which is anyone's guess. Each time it happens could be a step forward after all he knows Father Antonio now with just a little prompting."

Tyus stopped for a moment and looked at them then carried on slowly knowing they would not like it, neither did he but it was something they had to face. "And there is the other possibility that we must not forget – that when he remembers everything and everything is in its right place … he is here to say goodbye to Meg and all of us it was never his intention to stay **and** we will have to accept that decision. **But** we will make sure it is his considered decision not one done with only half the information as he is working on at the moment."

Ignoring their reactions of disbelief Tyus carried on. "I said we were not to pressurise him but by doing as he asks we are doing it, hopefully at his pace not ours, though his is pretty fast at the moment. Antonio will always make sure he can back out of any situation if he wants to, have isolation to recharge and do whatever another day. We give him the information we get and he deals with it at his own pace and if needs be we pick up the pieces for him. Parking tickets etc.

He then reassured them gently. "From what Antonio said about last night I think it's possible he is still trying to protect Meg and Benjy from Derek he is seeing things as snapshots no the whole picture. Once he knows there is no threat he will be okay and move on to the next stage of getting to know her as she is today. … Don't forget she's got to get to know him as he is today, they have both changed and we've got to remember that. And before you ask it, yes he will feel guilty about the length of time he's been away but at the moment I don't believe he has a full understanding of time or the missing time. Eventually we will have to prove to him that it was all right for him to leave for so long and we stand by him as friends. I'm sure in my own mind if he had stayed he would not have been able to mourn his twin's loss properly and could have been in deep trouble."

They all nodded silently even Patrick who didn't know Ben understood the feeling in the room – they would standby this man no matter what they found out and he would not be on his own that part of his past was gone he had a family of friends and acquaintances.

Breaking the thoughtfully silence Jude asked. "What about Derek's grave being an indication Ben is safe?"

Tyus nodded. "Yes it is and it could be the reason he keeps going back to it or looking at it. **But **rememberthere are two Bens at the moment one might know about it and the other doesn't so holds back. Though I believe they are coming together as Antonio said some the old Ben is there in the traveller now, which is good. We don't know whether the firecrackers jolted him forward and the pieces are tumbling back into place or he was going to do it anyway but what I think is sure sleep and gardening are his safety blankets and we must make sure he has them.

Of course, we also have the partial memory regarding the girl and the accident to deal with. He couldn't get any information about Sunset Beach out because he didn't trust the others enough. But he's managed to give us a hint hoping we can fill in the gaps or feed other information to him, which will most probably be sorted out in his sleep. If he has calm memory flashbacks I believe we will be able to talk to him and get more information that way. Unfortunately I think any flashbacks he has regarding the girl will now drop into the back ground as his mind is concentrating on memories of Sunset Beach. I take it you've not come across her."

Paul gave a gentle short laugh. "No. Kids at that age are in and out of ER like yoyos we checked back once we had the name Betsy and nothing sprang out from the lists."

Tyus nodded thought for a moment then said. "Okay so its possible second mark on his back and the girl's accident are one or close together … whatever the case, Benjy and the girl are close in ages. We know he loved Benjy deeply and realising he was not his son it would have be like losing his own child. So if he got attached to this Betsy through a business connection and it failed as well as the accident then I think it would have been enough to push him over the edge. He buried himself, let his instincts take over and he's been trying to find his way back ever since hence the traveller. No one could give him the clues to work with until the last shelter, if he'd found that one first he would have come back sooner. I would like Mrs Gossip's number Ricardo."

Ricardo scribbled it down and handed it over as Jude nodded and said. "Right Patrick, as soon as your car arrives I would like you to drive down south to the farm come nursery and check it out. We **will** treat it as a hostile address so be very careful when asking questions."

They all looked at him; he gave a slight smile and explained. "We have to bear in mind it looks as though he became a traveller about this time. You've already smelt something fishy about one of Ben's deals … hopefully the ATM will show him drawing money and the deal is legit they just had good office cleaners and went down south to carryout their plans and things went wrong and he left and came across the accident had the accident or whatever.

Ricardo said he's not had a message back I can't find anything on the net about them though it was a very quick scan because of events. I want you to go down, I know you've picked up Ben's profile talking with Paul etc and you'll get a good feel of the place and people do a mix and match and report back. It's a small town hence the car rather than helicopter coming in and no doubt everyone will know everyone else so you'll stick out like a sore thumb anyway but don't tread on anyone toes just watch and listen." Patrick smiled and nodded as Jude carried on. "Then we'll decide whether we call in the local cops or go in full FBI mode with you leading or just give them a big hug because they are the good guys and they've been off on holiday.

Up until now we've managed to keep Ben's arrival fairly quiet but as Ben looks more like Ben and getting out and about with Casey's help I think word will get out very soon. So expect questions and refer them back to here for answers. We certainly don't want the mess regarding reporters etc we had over Christmas. We'll tell Antonio and Meg we are now looking at the southern address but will keep it casual."

Jude spotted Tyus' nod and looked around at everyone as he asked. "Anything else for Tyus to know or you need to ask?"

They shook their heads. "Okay thanks Tyus do you need full reports or brief ones?"

"Full please."

"You'll get them as soon as the lads write them up and you'll keep in touch."

Tyus got up and the meeting started to break up. "Yes I've got your two phone numbers, how's Anne taking all this I assumed you told her he's back."

Jude nodded and gave a sigh. "She was worried then really concerned this morning when I left her. I don't think it's her old obsession about him either I think she really sees him as a friend now."

Tyus smiled. "I'll have a word with her if you like."

Jude smiled "Thanks but I think you have enough on your plate. I'm going to keep her informed but will watch her just in case and get in touch if need be."

Tyus nodded. "Right talking to her will be good then she'll not feel left out or shut out because she's not trusted. Is she still working at Masons?"

"Yes and likes it, but she's got this morning off she saw Maria last night so I so I suggested she go talk to Bette who is upset but dying for the story and she's promised not to print a word until told to. As you know we've got AJ's backing so we can use the plane if you need to fly Dr James in quickly, just give him a ring. Do you want the notes at the hospital or home?"

"Home will be fine thanks." Tyus said and went on his way.

Jude turned to Ricardo, "You've got this afternoon off to see Maria, right."

"Only if you are sure, I can cancel you know."

"No that's one of the perks you have of working paper for me, you get to keep your appointments. But come in after we should have more information regard the reports you gave me yesterday about the murder case. I've also booked you out late tomorrow morning so you can go shopping with Gabi as you didn't manage it this morning after last night's do."

Ricardo nodded acceptance as Jude carried on. "Right, while the lads are doing their paper work we'll go over what you need to tell Antonio and Meg, then you'll just manage to get round there before they leave. Ring Casey before you get there to make sure its okay, if its not we'll ring Sister Jane at the Mission and then see Meg later."

As they walked back to the other office Ricardo asked. "Any more leads about the firecrackers around the Mission as opposed to the town."

Jude laughed remembering and explained. "Yeah I've now got an officer on the beat looking for an odd shaped black car, as in the old type rather than brand new one."

Ricardo shook his head with a smile as Jude carried on. "I know, he's never going to live it down but he says he'll know it when he sees it. Give him his due, it was dark being away from street lights and the others were looking for kids who might have been in the fields and the car was too far away to see any number plate. Of course they could not give chase because they needed to make sure the fields were clear of firecrackers. So let's go over the points … …"


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

While walking over to the sleeping figure Antonio quietly commented to Casey, "It's almost a shame to wake him." and realised Ben was watching him so carried on over then crouched down and asked gently. "Ben are you all right to go to do Meg's garden now?"

Ben sat up and looked at them both and tilted his head to one side in a silent question rather than the nod or shake of the head Antonio had expected.

Antonio gave a silent sigh realising Ben had not only woken silent but didn't remember what they were going to do and asked "Do you remember me?" expecting a shake of the head in reply and got a nod so carried on, "That's good" and got up and sat beside him putting the photo album he'd been carrying on his lap.

Not wanting to confuse things Casey stayed silent and went over and sat at the table to watch and listen as Antonio explained. "Ben, I've got some photos in this album among them are Meg and her father in the garden we went to yesterday it will help you understand or possibly remember things."

He felt Ben shift a bit and put his bag beside him rather than clutching to his chest and knew he was ready to look at the photos. Antonio started with the one of the Mission and himself to make sure Ben understood about photos and where he was, though he didn't get a nod he sensed he could continue. He went slowly through the book so Ben would understand where they were going even though they didn't have one of Meg's garden. By the time he got to Casey and the rescue truck he knew they were back to their comfortable silent communication mode along with the same kind of you lead I follow trust of the early morning.

He closed the album and handing it to him and pointing to the bag said. "Ben, I want you to carry this around with you that way you can look at it at any time you want to. If you like I can take photos of the garden we are going to now and add them later."

He got a nod and watched Ben put it in his bag then as they both got up and walked over to the washroom he saw Casey get up and leave the yard, and knew he would make sure the area at the front of the Mission would be clear of people. The last thing they needed was someone calling out questions and confusing Ben even more.

oxoxo

In the lounge of their new house Meg ran her fingers through her long dark hair and spun slowly round stopped and sighing out loud. "He's coming home." Hearing it made her feel good; she had been up and down with happiness and guilt ever since Casey's phone call. Her reaction and Casey's request had provoked a heart to heart with her mother; though it helped she still went back to pondering things now she was alone.

… And knew no matter what excuse was made she had walked out on Ben an awful lot before he left for Seattle … and when Derek came back as Ben though she had sensed something was different had never really challenged it head on …kicked a few dust clouds yes but not really made a fuss. …Not till the end.

Why? … because Maria was still Ben's wife and she felt guilty of taking his love away from wife and son… his family …and she hadn't understood her love for him ... or his love for her come to that.

… Okay in hindsight making a big fuss too early might have killed her … probably had a catfight with Maria over Ben … Sara had one with her but that was different … but she hadn't she'd just talked and walked away. … The idea of a twin replacement had not occurred to her till she stumbled on it at Ocean Drive … it should have there were enough clues… his teasing … quick cold touches …all made sense … and now … and now her Ben was asking her forgiveness … for him making love to Maria when he hadn't know what he was really doing.

Oh Yes that had hurt seeing them together that morning… but she had gone to Casey for comfort… not made love to him granted … but she hadn't believed Casey's words that Ben would never have taken Maria to the casita … nor had she trusted the fact Ben had always said he loved her. … Worse she had not really … really appreciated just how much she loved him till he left on Christmas Day.

Now that had really hurt … she understood his reasons … honestly she did … but it still hurt. Hurt to know she could not help him … that only strangers could help. … Was that the hurt he felt when she walked out on him all those times … when she went back to Casey or her parents? … And now … he was asking her for her forgiveness. Shouldn't it be the other way round?

She sighed and looked round the room making sure everything was okay even down the empty vase on the table waiting for flowers … the rose buds from her garden. Should she dare ask him to cut them for her?

She walked over to the photo of him that sat on the shelf, resting her hands either side of it and spoke quietly as though by doing so he would know and understand her feelings and everything would be all right. "You asked me to buy you a house… a home… our home … and I know you will like the inside when you are able to see it. … You said it yourself … we are soulmates … So, don't you dare turn away from it now Ben Evans! … Give you another chance I'll give you a thousand … you gave me enough when I kept walking out on you, didn't listen to you as you asked … no … pleaded for me to stay."

Without picking the photo up or knocking it over she ran her finger gently round it as she carried on gently and firmly. "One way or another Ben Evans, you and I will be together this time … Understand!"

She looked at the picture in silence then laughed gently at herself and walked away from the photo and opened the patio doors. Then stood leaning against the doorframe looking down the garden and smiled picturing him tending the roses and as he turned to check which roses she wanted him to pick she shook herself sternly reminding herself … he was ill, it would not happen, he didn't know her as his soulmate only someone who needed some help in the garden.

She remembered yesterday and their hands touching, how it was like a puzzle to him but to her it was that safe loving feeling he always gave her. It was so strange he was Ben but not Ben and now he would look more like the Ben she loved and still not be him. She felt a wave of panic, what if he collapsed on her; … she stopped the panicking thoughts by reminding herself that Casey and Antonio would be there, they would not be alone ... he would not be alone.

Her mind suddenly whispered the thought, what if he rejected her and wanted to be alone. She slammed away from it by grabbing the idea they might need food as time was getting on and if they took their time Sara would just have to accept she would be late at the shop. She went into the kitchen and started to look in all the cupboards trying to find something that would look as though it was just a casual put on the table thing … a snack rather than prepared meal that could be put away if rejected with no hurt feelings on either side.

As she slammed a cupboard shut and opened another one thoughts of Tim's death at Surf Central came into her mind sending shivers down her spine; she grabbed a packet of cakes and put them unopened on a plate and knew she had to get out of there. She walked quickly through to the front of the house deliberately checking everything trying to stop her thoughts and out onto the driveway looking up the road just in case and half hoping they had arrived or were arriving.

Nope, not even their neighbours to say hi to, and decided to complete the circuit back into the garden just to make sure she had left the side gate unlocked for them. She had, and smiled realising if she hadn't she would have been stuck out on the driveway hoping Casey had one of the spare keys. In the garden again she went across to the shed remembering the trowel she had forgotten earlier and put it by the other tools and plants near the border where they were needed. She couldn't help it she could feel his presence nearby enjoying the quietness of the garden and knew she had to do something before she called his name out loud in the expectation he would come over or answer her.

As she walked back towards the house wondering how she was going to survive as each second seemed like a minute she stopped suddenly finding it hard to breath as the side gate opened and Antonio came into the garden. She was sure in spite of the distance between them he could hear her heart thumping; it was beating soo loudly and way too fast.

Antonio smiled and signalled her to come closer, but she could not move she was watching Ben come in behind him and was shocked even though she had been warned. It was her Ben with a baseball cap, the unshaven look rather than bearded … she knew that look … been the cause of it … ponytail gone and knew the style would be his usual but hidden by the cap … his eyes … if only she could see them … were they empty or was there a glimmer of something because she was sure he was watching her as she was watching him.

If only she could breathe properly, though she knew she must be as she was still upright and thinking and realised he was not stooping like the closed down traveller of yesterday, but still had that jumper, which seemed to be part of him now not so awful as she'd first thought and of course his bag over his shoulder. Even so … he was her Ben … and here.

She realised they had come to her rather than she to them and he had been waiting not watching, she could tell by his body language. The temptation to close the gap and snuggle close so his arms would automatically embrace her was so strong she had to remind herself that Casey who was joining them had told her in big bold letters that she was not to touch him under any circumstances. Damn!

Antonio's hand on her shoulder and his words cut through her thoughts. "Ben this is Meg Cummings, Hank's daughter, you met her yesterday round at his garden and saw her photo this morning. Meg, do you mind if Casey makes a drink while you show us what needs doing, riding in the back of the truck makes me thirsty."

The formality of his introduction and Ben's brief nod froze her mind for a moment but the casualness of having Casey do the drinks made her mind click on and she managed to find her breath and voice "That's okay he knows where things are … Ben would you like a drink before you start?" She needed to hear his voice have him sit down in the calm of the garden….

Ben shook his head and smothered a cough as he started to walk towards the border where she had put the plants and tools.

Meg watched knowing just seeing him would have to be enough then walked quickly to follow him realising he could still out pace her and how wrong it felt to tell **him** what to do in **their** garden. Discuss it yes but to tell him and sighed, she had looked to him for advice, orders whatever in the past now it was the other way round. … She had a sudden idea how the two could be combined and said as she came and stood close by him in front of the flower border. "Ben, as you can see this needs tidying up and the plants putting in and the rose bed needs tidying.

Around the garden there are several of empty spaces that need filling with bushes or plants or something, perhaps you might like to think of ideas. … Possibly put something down on paper … it's a long term project so there's not rush. You can always come over again with the ideas or show them to Antonio." The need to touch him as she talked was nearly too great so she took a step back and watched as he nodded and put his bag down by his leg and looked along the border then gave another nod.

She felt her body shiver as he took his jumper off and dropping it by the tools and then he tucked his baseball cap into the waistband of his jeans. Finally he picked up the tools and bag and found the place he wanted to start work. Meg quelled the ripple of desire with the knowledge the only thing on his mind was the flower border … she was already forgotten. And started to walk back to the table where Antonio was already sitting down watching them.

She knew it was going to be hard, but not this hard or feel so wrong, she should be beside him … this was their garden … he needed her … she needed him. She sternly reminded herself he might collapse if she touched him … and the imp inside came back quickly he hadn't before and if he did she could the sit beside him and watch till he woke. She smothered the imp as she reached Antonio and sat down making sure she could see Ben work.

"How do you feel" Antonio asked gently seeing her disturbed state, while tucking the photos he had taken in his pocket and leaving the camera ready for some more. He would put them in the album with Ben later so he could bring back these memories.

Meg gave a shaky laugh "Confused, yesterday he was a stranger now he's more Ben and yet still not there." She sighed then carried on softly, "If he should ask I forgive him and want him back. But you know that don't you."

Antonio chuckled softly, "Yes and I'll tell him if the time comes and you are not around. When the early evening service is on at the Mission he wants to go to the Shock Wave or the beach to help find himself.**So** I think it might be a good idea if you meet us there possibly for food … a snack or light meal. Sort of date … could even call it a blind date."

She looked at him not believing he could take it so lightly and saw the sparkle in his eyes and smiled and said "Thank you Father I'd loved to." Antonio nodded hearing the tease in her use of Father while she took a deep breath and carried on. "Last night was no fun I kept jumping at each bang …even with Mum and Dad with me … it was worse for him though … I'm glad you were there."

Antonio knew she needed the truth and said. "To be honest I don't want to live through that again, he was so deep in a nightmare he had difficulty finding his way out but he did and knew me at the end before collapsing in my arms. But if it's his way forward then I'll be there with him tonight and every night. I'm sorry you had to hear about Tim's murder that way."

Casey came out and joined them "It's already but we'll wait a moment. Meg, I'm keeping my phone but on silent because Ricardo's going to ring just before he arrives, I disappear inside to take the call. Did Joan manage to tell Hank about Tim and sea chest?"

Meg nodded. "Yes and as Sara's at the shop he'll get Roger to help him get rid of it and Mum knows where they can get a baby cabinet to replace it so it should be done by tonight and she'll tell Sara lunch time and stay with her to make sure she's okay."

"Oh thank goodness for that. Are you okay about it?" Casey asked.

Meg sighed, "Yes I think so … nothing's going to bring Tim back and I doubt they can do anything about Tess. I suppose it makes his death understandable … he was trying to do good … though why he could not have run to where there were people or dialled 911 I don't know … perhaps Ben's right Tim would not have helped him … … to know about his death as a threat must have been frightening … … and to think we were so vulnerable without knowing it."

Antonio said gently. "Meg"

She replied quickly "I know it might not have been like that and Derek just used the situation against Ben. But I was in the kitchen when I heard a sound in the front area and didn't go out to check it so I think Ben is telling the truth." She looked towards Ben turning her thoughts away from that dark area and said honestly. "This is soo confusing looking at Ben yesterday I could understand him being a stranger but looking at him now he is so Ben … so much so I expect him to tell us to shut up and help him."

Antonio and Casey chuckled and Casey said with feeling. "Yeah … one second Ben talking, next second stranger/traveller voice and all … now that is spooky to see and hear."

She chuckled knowing it would be and watched Ben as he stood and half turned towards them then looked back at the plants … she knew he wanted her and turned to Antonio pleading. "He needs me … I'll not touch him but he wants to know what to do."

Antonio had already read that in his body language and said, "Go on then but remember your promise and be careful what you say it's only going to be nod or shake of the head in reply."

As she left them she heard Casey say. "Give her all of ten seconds." Missed Antonio's quiet reply and heard Casey's exclamation "Antonio!"

oxoxo

Meg picked up the filled spare filled watering can knowing he would need it soon and put it down beside the tools before going to stand beside him and asking. "You wanted something Ben?"

He nodded and pointed to the plants he had laid on the border in the positions he intended to put them. Where she would have put them in a straight line he had grouped them in circles of four with the variegate plants each side of the circles, making the whole border look different.

"That's a brilliant idea Ben thank you. Is your cough okay?" She asked knowing she should walk away but needed to stay, after all if he needed her just as she got back to the table he'd have to wait while she walked back to him.

She watched him expecting just a nod, which she got but to her his eyes didn't seem so empty or perhaps it was a trick of the light either way she knew she could not just walk away from him, so answered his nod gently. "Good, shall I take some of the weeds away for you?" knowing she could do that without touching him and still be close to him.

She got another nod and gathered the weeds and bits and put them in the wheelbarrow, she would get Casey to get rid of them in a moment … hadn't he said Ben needed to take extra rests and found herself watching the speed and expert way Ben put the plants in and shivered knowing he'd been doing it for awhile.

She came out of her thoughts because he'd suddenly stopped and got up and was looking at her with his head tilted at a slight angle as if he was pondering something. She watched him and held her breath, slightly puzzled by the movement of his hands - one went to his chest then up to his eyes then to her then it went down to his wrist, the one that would have had a watch on had he had one and then he drew a small circle once back at the top of it he then drew it backwards … anticlockwise. He saw she did not understand so put his hands together and repeated the movements again slower.

It struck her - I saw you yesterday.

She breathed and said, "Yes. Yesterday in my father's garden he loved the way you did his plants for him. Thank you."

He nodded and then pointed to her, back to the house then with his hand as in sleep and she realised what he was asking and said. "Yes I live here by myself." Opps she thought and hoped he would be careful if he carried on or she would be.

She watched as he pointed to himself but drew his hand across his body as if there was a second him beside him then pointed to his wedding finger. She thought for a moment and knew he wasn't talking about himself, and realised what a minefield she was just going to enter. Especially as he then pointed towards the house and then at his wrist only this time the fingers moved clockwise. She pondered quickly … so that was, was her boyfriend going to join her in the future and answered. "Yes I hope my boyfriend will join me fairly soon." and silently begged for the next question wondering how he would sign it.

Instead she just got a nod before he turned and crouched down to work on the plants.

She was torn between screaming at him to ask her who her boyfriend was, or pushing him into the border just to get a response … instead she breathed realising it was over … gone … he was back to his plants she was forgotten. Damn … So she walked away, with quick glances back at him just in case he called, threw something at her to get her attention, anything.

She got back to the table Antonio and Casey were looking at her; she sighed and said suddenly depressed. "He signed to me, it was basic child like signing Antonio … he did it with ease of a second nature the same with the planting, it's not been weeks has it … it's been longer."

Antonio remembering Tyus's words last night said gently. "They reckon it could be as far back as middle of March. It could be two separate things Meg; we'll just have to wait for Ricardo to tell us when he comes he's bound to know more by now. What did he ask you I could not quite make it out?"

She ran her fingers through her hair so it was back off her face and said trying to stay calm realising March was a long time ago. "He remembered me from yesterday and asked me if I lived here alone and if my boyfriend would be joining me. I said yes hoping he would ask who but he went back to those damn plants. Why couldn't he have asked me who my boyfriend was!"

Antonio hid the smile knowing just how frustrating Ben could be at the moment; everyone was finding out the hard way him in particular and said gently. "Meg you know he does not really think of you as Meg his soulmate because he's never been in this garden with you before. So you saying he was your boyfriend would have confused him, it will all come together eventually we've just got to give it time."

She nodded and said mournfully. "He knows what he's doing Antonio …

Casey butted in gently. "Meg he's always known about plants we've just never realised how much. He helped design the garden at Ocean Drive so it would not need more than a couple hours every so often. He only had time to potter at gardening then now he's doing it most of the time it's all coming back while the rest is smothered. I expect he tucked it away when he came to America, a new country a new start."

"Really?" Meg looked hopefully remembering Ben and plants.

Casey said reassuringly, "Yes, now I'll get us those drinks." He looked at Antonio and said, "Do you want to call him when he's finished that border Father?"

Meg looked at Casey who smiled and explained casually, "Father Antonio is his boss; so he's more likely to stop for him than you if you see what I mean."

"Gee thanks Casey." Antonio said under his breath, Casey smiled and went into the house.

Meg and Antonio saw Ben pause in his work and look towards Antonio then with a slight nod go back to work and Antonio said quietly. "Sometimes I swear he knows what I'm thinking."

Meg smiled but asked quietly "Did you really have to face him down. "

"Yes he's not too keen on pills; Sister Jane went a bit pale as her so called pussy cat showed his claws." Meg gave a gentle laugh as he carried on. "Yeah don't tell either of them what I said and he's very protective over your mum's biscuits as well … now that I can understand. Unfortunately I might have to do it again lunchtime. Hopefully Tyus will be there and as his doctor he can do it." He raised his voice and called out so Ben could hear as Casey came back with the tray of drinks. "Drinks are ready."

Ben nodded and walked slowly towards them, stopping first the rinse his hands under the tap. Instead of joining them though he took his mug of tea and sat on the edge of the raised rockery. Antonio stopped Meg from trying to join him or mention anything about it realising Ben needed space.

As they drank their cups of tea Meg said loud enough so Ben could hear. "Casey will empty the wheelbarrow for you, he needs the exercise."

She got a dark look from Casey but a calm reply "Yes that's okay after the roses have been done right." which got a nod from Ben.

Then there was comfortable silence while they drank and when Ben put his empty mug on the table Meg said. "Ben if there are any nice rose flowers or buds that would just get thrown away I've got a vase on the lounge table which needs filling … about six would do nicely." She thought she saw Casey wince but she got a nod from Ben as he walked away, she looked at Casey and carried on quietly. "It would be a shame to throw nice ones away or have to cut some from the bushes after he's worked on them or worse buy some from the shops tomorrow."

Casey said quietly in spite of Ben being out of hearing. "I know but he used to give you white roses ... that type of rose … white roses with scent Meg!"

She shrugged her shoulders and said. "You said he does not remember me as that Meg his soulmate so it should be okay. Anyway there are the pinky-yellowy ones and red ones as well so he might choose those or a mixture."

Antonio gave a quiet snort and they both looked at him, he stayed silent and looked innocently back at them.

Casey shook his head and got up getting his phone out and said. "Ricardo's calling be back in a moment."

Antonio could see worry setting in and said reassuringly. "Meg what ever happens it's not your fault. He will be around roses white, red or whatever and memories will come back. Its better here than on the road."

"Okay" Meg said and settled down to watch the main attraction as far as she was concerned. He looked as though he belonged here; quietly working away… she missed him so much. Casey seemed to only take seconds but she guessed it was a little longer all the weeds round the roses were gone. She watched Ben look at the roses and listened to Casey explaining that Ricardo was nearly there and would come through the front door as he had a key and Casey would watch Ben so they could talk in the lounge then Antonio could fill him in later.

She nodded that was okay and watched Ben go round the red rose bush and the pinky-yellowy one throwing out all the dead heads, and unwanted stems and could tell they were looking so much better than before. He looked round the white one and started to work and she was lost in imagination only coming out when he stood back having thrown dead heads and unwanted stems out.

She found she could hardly breath and her heart was beating rapidly again …yes … he was cutting them for her, … breathing without realising it she watched hungrily as each stem was carefully cut tucked safely in one hand … right up till the last one was cut and then he put the pruning cutters down on the ground by the bush and stood up and turned towards them.

Every fibre in her body and mind screamed at her had to go to him and get her flowers. So she got up with a promise to herself she would not touch him only the rose buds he had cut for her. He could drop them into her hands. It would be fine. Honest.

oxoxo

As Ben tendered the flower border after he'd signed to Meg images and voices flitted through his mind, they contained the four of them in different situations which confused him. … He had only just met her and she had a boyfriend. … The thoughts and snapshots started to consolidate as he drank his drink and then heard her request for rose cuttings.

It made sense that she would want some and as he pruned the rose bushes images of her and rose became more prominent. So much so he knew only the white ones would do even though the others were just as lovely. As he looked at the white rose bush he could see the ones he wanted to cut for her and the scent from the flowers seemed so familiar it brought the images of her clearer.

As he started cutting the white rosebuds he knew who her boyfriend was … he was.

He could see her dressed in a long black dress accepting a bunch of white roses from him … the smile was not only in her face it was in her eyes and in her soul. … … They were lovers.

No … they were more than that … he saw her dressed white, in a chapel, knew it was the Mission, knew Father Antonio had married them… he was more than a Father he was a friend. He had married her … and he … her husband would take these flowers to her as she had asked.

He looked towards the house and saw her get up and walk towards him the sun shone on her hair, she looked beautiful and she was smiling … that beautiful smile he'd missed for so long and then she called his name very gently but clearly.

Her call echoed through his mind into all the visions bringing them together and he called her name wanting to tell her so much … but darkness started to cloud his mind and he clung onto the roses and her smile but the darkness took over as he heard his name again being called out in distress this time.

oxoxo

Antonio and Casey stopped talking and watched Meg walk towards Ben. Antonio's heart flipped he could see the difference in their friend especially when he called Meg's name but in the seconds after he knew Ben was in big trouble. He told Casey to make sure Ricardo stayed hidden and moved to catch up with Meg hoping that one of them would be in time to be beside Ben as or before he fell. Tyus' words screamed at him 'if Ben felt safe he would collapse instantly.'

It was done as though the body knew not hurt itself on landing and the flowers must not be dropped or crushed. The bag, which was on his shoulder slipped down his arm to the ground just slightly in front of him, his legs buckled slowly allowing the rest of his body to fold easily so he ended up with his head resting on his arm lying on his side half curled round his bag and rosebuds … peacefully asleep.

Antonio and Meg got to him at the same time. Totally shocked Meg went on her knees beside Ben and gently took the flowers from his hand and saw the red specks of blood from the thorns on the roses and looked across at Antonio.

Trembling Antonio had knelt beside Ben and was checking for pulse and breathing and relaxed slightly both were okay, looking at Meg and said gently but firmly. "Put the flowers back Meg."

She looked at him horrified, eyes blazing - they were her flowers he was going to give them to her, Ben not the stranger or the traveller but** HER BEN** - and shook her head and carried on holding Ben's hand gently while keeping the flowers in her other hand.

Antonio knew he had a fight on his hands and he so didn't want this, Ben and Meg together yes but not like this and said firmly. "Meg, he needs to wake as he collapsed and that means you away from him and the flowers in his hand."

She was shocked into stubbornness. "He called my name and was looking at me. I need to be here when he wakes **these **are **my** flowers **he** was going to give them to **me**."

Antonio sighed, why did she have to do this to him, why couldn't she see reason and why did he have to face everyone down today. Making sure he kept eye contact with her he said very firmly. "Your touch … connection if it's there it will confuse him … he will wake up silent … totally shut down … **and **we will take him back to the Mission immediately!"

Casey came up to them said quietly "Ricardo will leave you a message at the Mission Antonio. Ben's done this before and will wake in a moment; he will need the familiar soundings of the Mission to get his bearings again so it's not as bad as it looks Meg. If Ben is okay you will see him at the Shock Wave tonight if not we will ring you."

Although Meg gasped quietly "I can't" she reluctantly let go and put the flowers gently back in Ben's hand and got up and stepped back to be with Casey who gently guided her further away. She could not take her eyes off Ben … they were so close to getting him back and now she'd lost him. She only vaguely heard Casey's whispered "He knows who you are now I'm sure of it."

She tore her gaze away from Ben and looked at Casey who carried on gently, "You know he did not see you as his soulmate now he does. I know it's not how we wanted it but it is a step forward … he will come round … the information is in there."

She nodded rejecting any other thought and looked back at Antonio and Ben.

oxoxo

Hearing Casey's words Antonio felt a ripple of relief run through him, Ricardo knew some of Ben's past it would be over soon and they would have their friend back. He felt Ben start to stir and called his name again and was rewarded by the movement of his hand. He gently put his own hand under Ben's and explained he could let go of the rose buds if he wanted to, he would keep them safe for him. He felt Ben's hand release them and continued explaining everything to him.

After a moment Ben opened his eyes and gave a slight nod. Still talking to him Antonio gently helped him sit up and knew he was back to very 'closed down' silent traveller stage. He held the rose buds while Ben found his cap and put it on then looked at his hand and wiped the specks of blood off. The silent understanding between them was good enough that when Ben held out his hand Antonio knew he needed help getting up rather than have the flowers again. But all the same he asked if he needed help getting up just so he could get a response and then helped him up.

Once up Ben picked up his bag and slung it over his shoulder and looked at his arms and then around the garden he was missing something.

Antonio realised what he was looking for and said gently. "Ben you cut these flowers for Meg do you want me to give them to her while I get your jumper for you?"

He'd wanted a nod but got a shake of the head and Ben reached out for the flowers, Antonio knew he couldn't insist so handed them over and walked over to get the jumper throwing Meg a look which he hoped told her to be very very careful but was not sure she was taking anything in at the moment and who could blame her and he certainly wasn't going to shout a warning.

Ben's mind was full of buzzing and confusion though the light didn't hurt so much now his cap subdued it. The same thing that told him he needed his cap told him he needed to give the lady the flowers. So he gave them to her with a nod and then looked towards the man besides her knowing he would take him to a place of quiet and all he needed to do now was to wait for the Father and his jumper.

As soon as Antonio joined them and Ben put his jumper on and slung his bag over his shoulder everyone knew he was ready to go.

Casey nodded to Meg and said gently. "Someone will ring you later. Stay here we'll see ourselves out.

Meg stood holding the rose buds trying hard not to cry, it had been going so well and now he didn't even know her. She felt Antonio's hand on her arm and looked at him and heard his gentle. "Trust us Meg."

She nodded and watched him go... she couldn't do anything else.

oxoxo

As soon as the group were through the gate Ricardo walked across the lawn to Meg and said gently. "You put those in water and make tea and I'll clear up here then we talk. Okay."

Meg nodded and said hopefully. "Its good news isn't."

Ricardo said gently "Some, he's home and getting better Meg."

She looked at the roses then at Ricardo and started to ask but he interrupted quickly and gently "Meg, wait till we are inside."

She looked at him with troubled eyes and said. "Trouble is the police always say that when it's bad news."

Ricardo sighed and put an arm around her shoulders then gently led her inside knowing the tidying up would wait and she was partly right.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

It was after lunch and Ricardo watched Maria and Rodney turn into their driveway and said to Gabi who was carrying Cathy trying to get her settled after her latest feed. "The car's different."

"So?" Gabi asked with a smile as Cathy produce a very unladylike belch and sigh.

Although Ricardo couldn't help smiling hoping Cathy would now be on her best behaviour for their guests he said seriously. "We are looking for an odd shaped black car that drove near the Mission last night … meaning its not a new model and had no success as yet … Rodney had one … now, he's got rid of it."

Gabi said anxiously "Ricardo that kind of thinking can get you into trouble with them. Don't push too hard you know what you can be like."

He looked at her and she smiled innocently back at him causing him to sigh and explain the obvious. "**But** I need to find out Gabi and I'll be careful promise." As she didn't look too convinced he asked. "Would you rather a uniformed officer in a police car went round to their house or came here and asked questions. Jude's too busy to do it at the moment." Gabi shook her head as he carried on with a slight plea. "Just keep Maria away for awhile and everything will be fine."

She laughed and shook her head again Ricardo smiled and knew she might but also it wouldn't be fair on her, so he would try and do it carefully and went out to meet the couple as they go out of their car.

oxoxo

Maria and Ricardo hugged, and then Ricardo nodded to Rodney who was too far away to shake hands and showing them into the back garden tried to sound casual saying. "See you've got a new car Rodney." they knew he'd seen the old one on the driveway yesterday so it was an obvious question surely.

Maria smiled and butted in. "Before you boys talk cars, anymore news on Ben we were out getting this monster, hence you getting the answer phone."

Having been brought up to date Ricardo said easily. "Last I heard he's still sleeping hopefully recovering from his blackout and lunchtime temper tantrum threw things rather than people. I must admit it was quite a shock to see him so dependant on Antonio and Casey in Meg's garden. … If he wakes as he did this morning they will run through things using the photo album and see how much he remembers. We've left it that they will ring if there is any definite news good or bad, and they will give us an evening bulletin when he goes to sleep rather than us ringing for news all the time. You know Sis it felt very strange leaving a message on some one else's machine nearly put the phone down thinking it was a wrong number but then I remembered who Connie was."

Maria smiled and explained. "We didn't think it was worth changing the message for just a few days stay and it would have confused their friends. Glad Antonio can help Ben so much and thank you for keeping me up dated I half expected to be kept out of the loop being an ex. Meg must be worried sick and frightened to have him collapse on her, we all knew he had temper just hope everyone remembers to duck. How about Gabi and I go and talk gardens and babies while you two talk cars."

Maria's friendly expression didn't change as she started to walk towards Gabi but just as she was leaving her brother's side she glanced at him and said quietly. "For some reason Ricardo you have **that** look just remember what I said last time I saw you and in case you're wondering Ben's money paid for the car and the rest will go into my business idea not Rodney's pocket." She then turned her attention to Gabi and as she reached her said happily. "Hi Gabi you're looking well and this is… … "

Ricardo was surprised his sister had caught his vibes he'd thought he had schooled his reaction just right, but then again she knew his past reaction firstly to Ben and then Rodney, and led Rodney over to a garden seat hoping he would not be hostile.

Rodney sat down and said. "So, what's wrong with the car or my old car to be exact?"

Ricardo sat down to make sure his brother in law didn't feel threatened hearing the guarded tone in his voice and especially after his sister's quiet warning. This was not the way he wanted it to be, he should be welcoming the man into his family especially as Maria had said she had something important to say... a new addition perhaps certainly not a break up. Instead he was just going to ask questions that would or could be construed that he thought Rodney was jealous of Ben and had somehow got hold of and then let off firecrackers to get back at him. …Not likely they'd only heard about Ben being there in the afternoon, but even if Rodney hadn't been anywhere near the Mission the words and accusation would be out there between the three of them. … Yeah good one Ricardo … so as casually as possible he said "Yes it's the old one I'm interested in … where it was yesterday evening through to the early hours of the morning say up to 2 am and why the change today."

Rodney said straightaway. "You mean 'I' as in working for the police but because of Maria you don't want to make it official till you hear my answer … Right"

Ricardo nodded hearing and understanding the undertones in the man's voice.

Rodney looked at him for a moment then said casually. "Okay I can live with and understand that and I've nothing to hide. As you know Maria had a girls' night in with Annie so I was out of town seeing some friends I can give you their addresses if really needs be. Thought the car played up on the way home in early hours I did managed to drive it home.

This morning we, as in Maria and I were driving it over to the garage when it played up again Maria saw the new one outside the showrooms and decided not to waste money on repairing the old one. As she said Ben's investment of her money was better than we both thought so we decided to splash out on something for both of us. My turn now why the old car and last night or early hours of the morning?"

Ricardo thought for a moment knowing if he was still an officer he would keep silent and insist he give the whole story of the night before explaining but he had to keep this friendly for all their sakes and said "It's a matter of eliminating you from our enquires regarding the firecrackers near the Mission. We can account for kids in the other areas of town but no one for that area. One of the officers in a police car saw an odd shaped black car driving away from the area. Odd shape meaning an old fashioned car rather than an up-to-date one, we need to find out if the driver was involved or if he or she saw kids or adults in the fields or on the road so we can stop anyone else being hurt."

Rodney nodded. "Fair enough, hang on a sec." He looked across the small garden and called out. "Maria! The back route you told me about was that by the Mission?"

Ricardo had that sinking feeling as Maria stopped talking to Gabi and came over quickly with a puzzled expression as she said. "Yes but you said you got lost." She looked at Ricardo for a moment then exclaimed "Oh! Is this something to do with the firecrackers last night?" She turned back to Rodney and continued, "But you didn't know about them till I told you. You had that damn music up so loud you wouldn't hear anything anyway." She looked at her brother and with a plea in her voice continued. "Ricardo I'm sure it's against the law, you can hear it three cars down with all the windows closed!"

Ricardo smiled at least her reaction was not hostile, yet, and said "Sort of … if it's too loud you can't hear the emergency vehicles sirens which could be dangerous, not to mention deafening yourself in the process. So you were there."

Rodney looked at Maria for a moment then turned and looked at Ricardo straight in the face and said thoughtfully, "Hadn't thought of that perhaps I should turn it down … a bit….Was I there most likely but didn't realise it had no reason too. … I was trying to go round the back route as Maria called it, rather than go through the town on the one way system …it was okay going out of town getting back in was a totally different matter. Ended up getting lost and went back onto the original road so I had to go through town in the end anyway … did notice a few police cars floating around but thought nothing of it coming from a city."

He paused for a moment then carried on. "Let me see I'd just passed a left turning when the car spluttered and died I left it for a moment then restarted it, the music tape was not affected which I thought was odd. Mind you it's an odd car anyway. As it came back into life I saw two lots of police lights and realised they might be something to do with some lights I thought I saw in field to the left. I didn't want to get caught up in people fleeing on foot or hindering the police on road … the earlier road was narrow in places I thought the rest might be … so I turned round and then took the first turning hoping it would come out somewhere nice with a sign post saying 'home this way'. Damn car was sluggish, didn't want it to die on me again so I floored it and it suddenly picked up and I took off."

Rodney looked a little sheepish as he carried on. "As brother to brother I will admit I could have been a little over the limit as well so I didn't want to meet the cops. I had been out with the boys and one drink led to another but I was not drunk or incapable of driving. I suppose I should have called a taxi before I left the group and accepted Maria's temper when she found we would have a double journey out of town to get the car this morning."

They ignored Maria's sigh and shake of the head as he carried on. "Instead I took a chance and found the car was defunct … it's been spluttering on and off for a while but not enough to worry about according to the garage back home. And yes because Maria wasn't with me I had the music full blast so I most probably wouldn't hear anything and as I was driving I had my phone off so I missed Maria's calls.

I got home and found her was quite distressed she told me about the firework and firecrackers and was worried about Ben, to help calm her I convinced her Antonio would have everything covered. Then we talked about Annie's visit and my evening though I don't think I told her about the police cars just that the car died and we needed to deal with it before we drive back to Seattle she told me about a good garage to got to. Managed to get some sleep then as you know she called you knowing she could not call Antonio and got Gabi as you had already left for work."

Maria said with a definite bite in her voice. "I Trust you're not accusing Rodney of going after Ben because he's still supporting me!"

Ricardo looked at his sister and said calmly, "No, we had a sighting of an odd shaped black car in the area and you have to admit your car was old, black and an odd shape compared to these days. So it would stand out in a police officers mind who was trying to do two jobs at once.

They could not chase the car at the time because they were trying to clear the area of firecrackers. As far as they knew Ben could be in a catatonic coma if another firecracker went off and no one wanted that.

So far they have not managed to trace the car, I knew you were coming this afternoon so I could eliminate you from enquires without any fuss. We need to know if there are adults controlling this or if it is just children doing a one off. From what Rodney's just said it looks as though its children idea of fun, can you remember how many lights or if there were any other cars around."

Rodney thought for a moment then gave a short laugh. "They were jumping around might have been three but it was so dark without street lights. Think they went towards a hedge and trees or just a group of trees to my left not sure. At that point I was looking towards the bay and the turning was to the left. Think that was the only turning in the area no I think there was an earlier one … nope not sure. Nothing had come past me and I hadn't seen any tail lights so I was really enjoying the music and was starting to think I might be lost." He gave a sigh "Maria told me I would get lost in the dark. Perhaps if someone drove me out there I might be able to show them where … not that it will do any good now of course."

Ricardo knew Rodney was right and said, "I'll bear that in mind at least now we can stop looking for the dark car and concentrate on the information we are getting from the kids computers. Let us know if you remember anymore."

Rodney nodded as Maria asked. "Why are you going after them so strongly? Is it just because of Ben?"

Ricardo was glad of the question it meant they were back on better terms. "No the firecrackers are faulty one lad has had his fingers and hand badly burnt and another in a different group was lucky to have jumped out the way as his exploded early. It looks as though Castletown was affected as well but had more fireworks and some adults in another town have been injured when the crackers were thrown at them. You're right we don't want Ben to wake up in nightmares as he did last night; he's giving himself a hard enough time as it is. So you like Cathy, should warn you she's got a good pair of lungs especially at night but even so I'm keeping her."

Maria laughed and Rodney got up to look at the baby and have quiet word with Gabi, and as Maria showed no sign of sitting down besides him for their private chat Ricardo got up and they started to walk round the garden.

Maria broke the silence, as she knew Ricardo expected her to do. "Yes she's lovely so is the garden and you are both very lucky. … I saw Mama this morning, I'm sorry she's still against Gabi but I think she might be softening she did send her love in around about sort of way. She did a family group reading said there was going to be disturbances within the family but strong family love around Cathy. I was to pass it on so you will not mind the disturbed nights so much.

She was right about family disturbance and I'm the one causing it so I told her what I needed to and she gave me her love and support. Told me to tell you which I was going to anyway I just needed her to know first. After I've told you I would like you to tell Antonio as soon as he is free."

"Sounds serious Sis." Ricardo said with concern.

She gave a slight smile and looked at him and said gently. "Yes it is but it's also nothing because it is in the past and finished with a long time ago. … I know everyone thinks I've just walked away from this Derek thing and got on with my life... Okay after I did a big flip etc … in truth Rodney and I have only just started being a real couple as in no ghosts in the bed and we want to start a family.

The doctors who've been looking after me say I should start with a clean sheet. Know I have my family support and understanding … I really need it Ricardo … But to be really honest if it was left up to me I would have let this lie buried … I suppose they are right I've enough blank bits in my mind to unsteady me without having a secret that can be forgotten rather than hidden."

Ricardo said gently seeing her uncertainty and pain. "It's okay … in your own time."

Rodney had dropped back to be near Maria and Gabi had put Cathy down in her pram and was just going to push her towards the house to give them privacy when Maria stopped her saying. "No Gabi, you're family so you need to know this."

So Gabi pushed the pram with them as Maria went on. "As it's in the past Ricardo, you don't need to know his name only that I was married and divorced before I met Ben. Remember when I went to look after Mama's cousin?"

Ricardo stopped dead and looked at his sister not really believing what she was saying but found himself nodding and answering her question. "You were a bit wild … too much of Annie and her crowd. Mama said you needed a break I suggested a summer school type of thing regarding art, teaching or learning she had other ideas and moved before I could."

Maria nodded and gave a short snort of a laugh. "Your idea would have been better … I was rebellious got bored and fell in love … sort of … … I think we knew it was not the real thing, but it might have been a good marriage if things turned out differently. As it was we had just over two months together, because Mama's cousin died and I had to return home. If you remember there was one of those family busts up, Mama thought she was going to get something because I did the work but got nothing. … There had been a double tragedy on his side, which meant he needed to save two family businesses by marriage, hence, my husband's very quick quiet flight to get a divorce. It was a simple one as there was nothing to divide. "

"Maria what the **HELL** were you thinking of!" Ricardo spat out angrily finally managing to get his head round the situation, Gabi stayed silent absolutely speechless.

Maria gave a gentle laugh "That's what Mama said but in Spanish and twice as loud. I explained it was only a civic wedding not done or blessed in church, which seemed to help her understand why we could cancel it the way we did. If we'd been married in church we would have acknowledged it immediately. I told her his name and she told me he'd died and that's why I'm not going to tell you his name and I don't want you to chase it up with the information I've already given you. His family need never know apparently he made a wonderful husband and father and his widow is starting on a new life with a new man.

As to why well as I said I was bored … in the evenings … so was he … I was an outsider and we got talking and it progressed from there. Neither of us had love commitments to anyone either. When the tragedy happened he could not let his and the other family starve …neither could I. Guess our family love was stronger than our own."

Ricardo could hear the sadness in her voice and the shadow in her face and knew she still felt something for the lost marriage most likely the 'what if' of it all and the fact the man died and asked gently. "When did he die?"

Maria sighed as she said. "Funnily enough on the day of the storm I disappeared in … only it was a car crash for him. We kept it all secret only the cousin I was helping out knew the truth… we took precautions when making love so I guess deep down we both knew it was a holiday romance gone a bit far.

Yes I did love Ben … he was not on the rebound or my hope of excitement … he was something special … he taught me a lot. Perhaps I'm fated in some way I hope not for Rodney's sake our love is I suppose more mature we both know pain and happiness from life."

Ricardo shook his head and sighed. "You want me to tell Antonio, knowing how he feels about marriage even just a civil one."

Maria looked at Ricardo and said gently, "Yes and because I can't exactly tell him while he's looking after Ben now can I?"

Ricardo sighed. "No. I just hope Ben never finds out. How did you manage to keep it a secret for so long?"

Maria gave a slight smile. "That was easy I just forgot about it Ricardo. It was over he was to remarry and Ben meant everything to me … I buried it so deep I've only recently remembered it They say that was most likely because I was away from Sunset Beach and Ben was no long in my life. I don't want to hurt Ben so he'd need never know but should he ever find out tell him our love was true."

Ricardo looked at his sister not surprised he could see the beginnings of a tear and said gently. "It's a lot to take in but you have my support and yes I'll face Antonio for you but I expect he will want to talk to you so make sure you are ready for his phone call or a visit if you are back home. I take it you've not moved house."

"No Mama has our address, I know its on the outskirts of Seattle I can cope with that. Thank you and you Gabi."

Gabi smiled and said. "Will you stay for a drink?"

Maria wiped the tear away and looked at Rodney who gave a slight nod and spoke for her. "Yes but not for long we are hoping to take in a show and a meal later and to be honest I think Maria needs some time alone before hand."

Ricardo hugged his sister and then said to Gabi who was going to move inside. "I'll do the drinks; I need to tell Jude about the car … tea…coffee and we'll have them inside so you can have a look round if you wish Sis."

Maria smiled and said. "I'd like that, coffee for both of us but no sugar in Rodney's he's slimming."

As he walked away he heard Rodney's soft "That's so unfair Maria."

Once inside the house Ricardo sighed and let his outer calm understanding facade drop, the temptation to smash something just to hear it break to wake himself up was great. Yet in amongst the anger and disbelief there was understanding and acknowledgement it was typical of her at that time. She had been rebellious, missing her father's guidance and love, resenting the fact he was the father figure and not a brother to confide in. But he had never suspected or even thought of the possibility of marriage not even a holiday fling.

**Hell!** Did he really know his sister at all? Yes … he knew she was no angel even though people used to say she was but she was not truly deceitful either, but to marry and hide it. He realised it would have been very hard for her to have explained it to him and their mother so burying as it was over would have been easier. They had taken her quietness to be sadness at the loss of the aunt and what they had wanted her to do - grow up. And then of course Ben had come along and she had shown her need for independence, hence his non interference and he had started to concentrate on his own and Antonio's life.

He sighed, she was right it was in the past and there would be anything gained in turning over old stones, and picked up the phone and dialled Jude. He reported about the car and got that niggle back about Rodney but still could not put his finger on it, the man had taken it very well. And was just going to suggest they take the car in when Jude very firmly told him to leave it alone, just enjoy his sister's stay and come in later. Of course he hadn't mentioned about Maria's marriage that would stay in the family and he would see his mother later as for Antonio well that would wait.

He put the phone down consoling himself he could at least make the coffee without getting into trouble.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

Due to events Tyus couldn't get out to the Mission till mid afternoon, in the kitchen area he and the others had a frank discussion about events then he and Antonio persuaded a rather torn Casey he should go and comfort Sara. They'd reassured him that he was only be a few minutes and a phone call away, Tyus understood that pull … the need to see how their friend was but he also understood that an extra person could be a crowd.

Sitting in Ben's yard waiting Tyus knew that he might face the most difficult job of the day or the most rewarding. It was after all the most natural thing to do to wake up after going to sleep … so no bid deal … only it was a thing Ben had failed to do so far. Why they were going to do it now. Hopefully he would wake up a silent stranger even better a silent or talking Ben. The difficulty would be if they couldn't wake him or he woke violent and too confused to understand them… or trust them. Then he Dr Tyus Robinson would have no choice but to immediately commit his friend and patient to Cedar Oaks and therefore out the his immediate care regardless of their reservations or his friend's wishes.

Coming out of his thoughts Tyus gave Antonio a reassuring smile knowing there was really no going back and watched the third party in the scheme come and join them. Sister Jane silently put the tray of two drinks and sandwiches on the bench beside Antonio rather than on the table beside Tyus and glanced at the two men. Seeing two nods with encouraging but serious looks and knowing how they were feeling she smiled back and then as she turned to walk over to the sleeping figure teased softly, "Chickens the pair of you." and heard their soft chuckles and knew she'd broken the rising tension.

Reaching Ben Sister Jane looked at the peaceful sleeper who showed no signs of waking and crouched down beside him. She took another brief moment just to check he hadn't stirred and then knowing she could roll away safely if need be she put her hand on his arm calling gently but firmly. "**Ben**,it's time to wake up."

Sister Jane's words cut into the darkness and Ben woke with a small cough, as he controlled it and his vision cleared he realised who'd called him. "Sister Jane?" Came out as a question rather than the clear thought he had in his mind and he sat up slowly pushing his bag to one side realising he recognised where he was.

Smiling with relief that Ben was talking, knew her and was calm Sister Jane answered cheerfully. "Yes, and there's food and drink on the bench if you want it after all you only pecked at your lunch. How's the cough?"

Ben thought for a moment and breathed deeply then said, "Better, not so tight, thank you" and as he saw the others in the yard added with a slight tease, "See they sent you to do their dirty work."

Sister Jane gave a gentle laugh as she nodded; she was starting to see a whole person instead of a shadow of one she had only heard about and liked him.

Looking past her Ben gave a brief nod of acknowledgment to each saying. "Tyus … Antonio" and got smiling nods back as he slung the strap of his bag over his shoulder then got up and walked towards Antonio.

Antonio moved the tray onto his lap feeling totally relieved and happy that the silent closed-down stranger, who'd turned stormy, leaving a trail of smashed plates and scattered food before that deep worrying sleep, was gone. Here was 'his Ben'; the one with a sparkle in his eyes who always called him Antonio and treated him like a friend or a brother rather than a Father of the church who needed respect. But he feared it was all so fragile … fragile because they needed answers to questions. Those questions might make 'his Ben' to blackout or storm off and sleep … and then wake as a stranger to them again and he certainly didn't want that.

oxoxo

With his mind still settling after his sleep and totally unaware of the surprise he'd given them Ben sat beside Antonio. Because his throat was dry he took the cup of tea and drank some, as he returned the cup to the tray he realised he was hungry so picked up the sandwich and in doing so he realised Sister Jane had not joined Tyus at the table. He looked around and saw she'd sat on the straw mattress and knew he could cope with that so turned his attention to Tyus and why he was there. Seeing the cup and saucer by the doctor's bag on the table he smiled and said. "Guess as I'm okay that's an expensive cup of coffee I'm buying you Tyus."

Tyus smiled at the gentle tease and kept a lid on any excitement he felt. True, he would have liked to have more time to suss out this Ben out but he wasn't going to turn down the opportunity he'd just been given and said in doctor friend mode. "Yes, but I'd like to earn that cup of coffee by checking you over and know what you remember."

Ben took a bite of his sandwich then nodded and as he ate he mulled things over in his mind. He knew he felt better …and that was not just the cough … he felt different ... more himself. As he started to wonder what 'more himself' actually meant a violent shiver ran through him so he concentrated on eating his sandwich … in doing so he gradually realised the fact he was questioning things was new and felt… okay … right … natural.

When he finished the sandwich he picked up another one and ate it and tried to tip toe into the idea of memories as Tyus had asked and ended up totally confused and had a feeling there was something important he should be doing or remembering. As he could not explain it to himself he couldn't begin to explain it to Tyus so he would leave it on the side… hope it would clear up later.

Swallowing the last mouthful of sandwich he looked over at Tyus hoping what he was going to say would make sense … to someone and started. "Fine … but confused about what you mean. I know I have memories we all do … … you can't want to go through them all … take too long and not possible and not really important anyway. I know I'm home … well sort of … and amongst friends, and everyone is safe because Derek died and Tess was arrested … if that helps."

"For the moment." Tyus said wanting to reassure his friend, he had hoped for an answer that would open doors, such as 'oh you mean where have I been for the last few months?' etc. instead it showed he needed more help ... specifics so that could wait. He knew if he explained his next move to this Ben he would confuse him so he picked up his stethoscope and got up and walked towards Ben watching him covertly for any adverse reaction.

As Ben watched Tyus approach he had the wispy feeling he did didn't like what was going to happen but couldn't think why and came out with the half teasing nervous comment. "Hope that thing's not too cold." Seeing a 'what else to do you expect' look from Tyus he sighed and loosened his shirt and got ready to be good … after all he trusted the man … didn't he?

After breathing and coughing when told, Ben relaxed enough to admit he'd had a headache but didn't know when it started only it was gone now … and got a bright pen light in his eyes with a set of new questions, which he somehow managed to answer to Tyus's satisfaction. When his wrist was released and Tyus stepped away from him to go back to the table Ben looked at him with an innocent expression and asked softly. "Happy now?"

Tyus smiled back at his friend and said "Yes thank you Ben and I enjoyed my coffee." then turned and walked back to his table knowing they were in a little bubble with the old Ben. And he would most probably burst it by his next actions and words but also knew he had to do it for all their sakes. Putting the stethoscope back on the table he picked up the bottle of pills and then went back to Ben, watching him carefully as he showed his friend exactly what he was doing while talking in the same doctor friend mode. "I think the headaches will lessen as your memories get stronger and fall into place. If the headaches are bad let either Sister Jane or Antonio know and they can either give you something for them or tell me and I will come out and see you. Your chest is much clearer but you must finish the course of pills I asked you to take yesterday. That includes the one you refused at lunch time. … Will you take it now?"

The pill lay in the palm of Tyus's hand waiting for Ben to take it … it was not really a question it was a very gentle order. While talking Tyus made sure his gaze on Ben hadn't wavered, knowing just how much hung on this simple action. If Ben took it quietly and calmly it would be fine, if he hesitated then they could talk it through with him, open up his memories and calm his fears now they knew that bit of history. What they didn't want was the angry flight making it necessary for Sister Jane to bring him down as he ran past her. Tyus knew she would do it after all she'd lived with older and younger brothers and taught self defence classes to the highest level. He also knew that if it happened they would lose Ben's trust because he would know they'd used his respect for women and this one in particular against him. If they had used Casey instead of Sister Jane Ben would have felt trapped three men against one … she was his open door his escape route that they had to close before he got on the road in a panic.

As Ben silently looked at him and he stayed waiting the tension rose.

Though Ben had sat still watching Tyus and listening to him he felt agitated and torn … the pill looked big and ugly … and small shivers of apprehension and clouded memories ran through him. He wanted get up and run, he knew if he was quick he could beat Antonio off the bench, a hard shove would floor Tyus then he could run past Sister Jane without hurting her and out of the Mission over the wall and away. And yet, he knew he trusted them … they would not hurt or betray him or his trust … and this was where he wanted … needed to be … and he trusted this doctor implicitly.

Silently coming to his decision he nodded to himself and then reached forward taking the offered pill and quickly popped it in his mouth before he changed his mind. He then drunk from the cup Antonio gave him and though he couldn't explain it waited for something dark to happen. As he put the cup back on the tray he remembered Tyus's question and looked at the doctor who was turning away from him answered and forgot what had just happened. "Don't remember lunch sorry."

Tyus was slowly silently releasing a breath amazed at the trust he'd seen in Ben's eyes as he came to his decision and took the pill. He knew it would have been devastating if this man had run and they had lost that trust, and knowing that moment had been lost finished putting the bottle back on the table.

Sister Jane breathed a silent sigh as she relaxed musing it was just as well her so called pussycat could not remember the raging silent tiger he became lunchtime, and decided to watch rather than enter the fray of explanations just in case chaos ensued and her skills were needed after all.

With very mixed feelings Antonio and Tyus glanced at each other sending a silent message of 'don't go there' till with a slight nod Tyus then said gently. "That's okay Ben do you remember doing any gardening this morning."

With hardly a pause for thought Ben said. "Yes. At Meg's new house, hope her boyfriend likes it."

Tyus managed to a smile and gave Antonio the slightest of nods letting him know he would have to deal with it as he had been there.

Antonio smiled at Tyus then turned his attention to Ben and asked gently. "Do you like it Ben?"

Ben looked at him and thought for a moment picturing the garden and found he knew a bit about the area as well and said. "Yes, the garden is nice … needs some more work on it … could put a small pond in the left corner, another seat possibly making an alcove with the trees on the right ... Rockery is good and the other flower border is okay. It's the quiet end of town, quite near the sea so would make a nice evening walk after work or first thing in the morning. Who is her boyfriend?"

Sister Jane smiled with the thought "Gotya" knowing they'd wanted Ben to get the answer to the unasked question left hanging in Meg's garden that morning. She guessed from the others' expressions of delight and relief that Ben had used past and present memories to get the information about the garden. She wondered if anyone would really mind if she cancelled tonight's class so she could walk along the beach if a certain reunion was going to take place.

Tyus and Antonio answered gentle but together "You are Ben" but Antonio carried on hoping to lead Ben on to other memories which would answer their questions. "You asked her to find a home for the both of you before you left to mourn your brother's death and that is your new home."

Ben looked at them as the words sank in … he couldn't remember all the details but knew about his brother … his twins death … and his part in it. He also knew he'd given Meg a choice and now he knew Meg still loved him … she'd found their new home and she was safe. He couldn't think of anything else to say except "Right." with a nod hoping to reassure his friends he did understand it even if he couldn't remember it all or didn't want to push the boundaries. Spotting the last sandwich on the tray on Antonio's lap and knowing it was his he took it and ate it. Finishing it he turned to Sister Jane guessing she'd made it for him and said with real appreciation. "These are very nice thank you."

Sister Jane smiled and nodded her thanks for the compliment wondering what on earth was coming next. It looked as if he was naturally a 'closed book' with or without memory and at the moment anything could spark things off or make him lose track of what was going on as seeing and eating the sandwich had just done.

Tyus and Antonio looked at each other suppressing sighs both knew the signs - the subject was closed ... finished … gone. But at least they had got **that** bit of information in and hoped it would settle and come back later. They both knew they would have to find out if they'd hit a dead end or if his memories in general didn't flow from one to another. They were all walled block which needed triggers so they could be opened which would make this job really difficult.

Antonio gave a slight shake of the head deciding Tyus's doctor friend questions would work best, though he would come in as friend or Father mode if need be and saw Tyus's slight smile with a nod and knew their code was still working okay.

Tyus accepted Antonio's gift and decided to see if he could start a question and answer session by asking. "How much of your past do you remember Ben?"

Ben was leaning forward picking up the nearly empty cup of tea from the tray and looked over at Tyus and said quietly. "Bits and pieces… not sure really ... know I know and trust you." he glanced at Antonio and asked. "What day and month is it Antonio?"

Trying hard to hide their dismay Sister Jane, Tyus and Antonio glanced at each other then back at Ben who was finishing the drink, none of them expected nor wanted **that** question … not yet anyway.

Antonio knew there was not getting away from it and he would have to deal with it and said. "2nd September 2000."

The world started to spin and he shivered violently not believing the date he'd heard, the sound of the cup he'd been holding smashing on the concrete made him jump up automatically taking his bag with him he was being threatened.

"**Damn it!**" Antonio exclaimed seeing not only the want to flee but all the colour drain from Ben's face, while realising it was most probably the first time, time meant anything to Ben.

Antonio's exclamation stopped Ben from running, with the memory of the Christmas tree in the corner of the lounge at Ocean Drive as he'd phoned Meg's answer machine Christmas morning tumbling through his mind he stuttered out. ""I …I … couldn't have left her that long. … I wouldn't have."

Antonio started to try and reassure him that Meg understood he didn't mean to stay away…

But Ben just gulped for air then surprised them by rushing towards the washroom rather than the gap where Sister Jane sat ready to discourage his flight.

oxoxo

As Ben disappeared inside the building Tyus said reassuringly to Antonio. "It needed to be done. Go after him and sit with him he might be silent."

Antonio gave him a look knowing it could be worse than that and went after Ben wondering what he would find.

He stopped just inside the doorway and saw Ben sitting huddled on the floor by the washbasins, his head in his hands and was breathing in gasps. Walking over to Ben he reckoned gasps were okay and the fact he'd not thrown up what he'd just eaten either even better. When he reached his friend he quietly sat beside him and put a hand on his shoulder saying gently. "Ben, its Antonio."

With the nausea feeling gone as he entered the building Ben had collapsed burying his head in his hands while trying to gulping in air as the combination of shock, fear, shame along with impressions of Meg being alone and fearful engulfed him. When he pushed for why he'd left her he found nothing except waves of darkness started to wash over him, which stopped when he felt Antonio's hand and heard his voice.

He clung onto the echoes of Antonio's voice and the feel of his hand and thought of Meg as he'd seen her that morning, and gradually the waves of darkness turned into buzzing and confusion. Eventually he lifted his head and tried to explain to the person beside but nothing came out and knew he was silent, trapped and this time scared.

Antonio saw his distress and said gently. "Ben, its okay, just relax don't try to speak or remember just breath and listen. … We know some thing happened to stop you from coming home and we are trying to find out what. … Meg loves you and understands why you went and it was for the right reasons. … The past is accepted and understood and we want you back with us so we can move on together as family and friends. … You might not remember but this morning when you worked in the garden of the house she's bought for you both you tried to give her some white roses. You as in the Ben we know the one she loves, but you blacked out because your memories were to great for the moment. Just now you came back to us again and we shocked you about the date and I'm sorry about that.

Part of you wants to know the other needs to get used it and your mind is jumbled as it all comes back to you … that's okay it will sort itself out. … You've made huge steps forward today and they will carry on. … You've not spoken to anyone for a long time and it's all right if you can't now … you will be able to do so again soon. You have to give yourself time Ben … you are safe and we are willing to wait for as long as it takes."

The voice and words and a certain amount of comprehension felt like a warm blanket wrapping around him but without the energy to do anything else Ben could only nod his thanks. Along with the buzzing in his mind he started to feel as though the room was coming in on him from all sides he **needed** to get out of there and away from these people he trusted before it was too late. Shivering violently he tried to get up and failed.

Antonio felt Ben's shiver and try to get and said gently. "Hang on I'll get up, then help you."

He knew it wasn't going to be easy because there wasn't much space, add in the fact the bag was tangled in arms and legs and Ben wasn't going to let it go of it for a second … it took a while. But Antonio used his voice talking Ben through every stage and felt that blind panic settle till it was just a very very strong need to get out of the building. He reckoned that fear of buildings had just woken with a vengeance and wished he could ask Ben what it was.

oxoxo

Walking unsteadily out of the washroom Antonio was relieved to find Sister Jane and Tyus were sitting at the table and the broken cup had been cleared away. He spotted a mug of water on the table he said. "Ben do you want some water while Tyus checks you over?" hoping it would keep Ben from trying to leave too quickly.

Getting a nod he guided Ben over to the seat and helped him sit down and then stood beside him.

They all noticed Ben's hands shook as he took the drink but no one mentioned it, instead they listened as Antonio quietly explained what happened.

Tyus listened as he quickly checked Ben over knowing things could have been worse especially if the question had come while they were on the road or out tonight with Meg. He knew it would have Ben's curiosity was getting stronger. He was not surprised that as soon as he released Ben's wrist, Ben found his cap and put it on thereby completing the closing down process. But was surprised that Ben had not got up and walked away he was waiting for clearance before moving away and said. "Everything's fine Ben, sorry it was such a shock for you. What do you want to do now rest or garden?" And realised he should not have asked it like that because Ben was silent.

To everyone's surprise there was a whispered. "See Meg later?" accompanied by a violent shiver, which made Tyus get ready for a collapse, which didn't come and he realised Ben needed a reply and said. "Only if you feel up to it … not a late night though and certainly not a long walk along the beach. You need to rest and have the pill if you eat at the Shock Wave or at the Mission understand."

He got a sharp nod and then a shrug of the shoulders as Ben got up and then turned walking away from them adjusting his bag onto his shoulder reminding them of the traveller, except he was walking without a stoop. They didn't rush after him knowing he would stay within the confines of the Mission and he would either tend the graves or just sit and look at the view from the benches in the quiet spot.

Antonio looked at Tyus who said casually "That was good, even if his shrug and look said 'yes daddy but I'm a really big boy now!' … to both of us."

That caused Antonio and Sister to smile as Tyus carried on seriously. "What are you going to do tonight if he wants to sleep on his own? He obviously hates being mothered … sorry fathered." He hastily changed which was accompanied by Sister Jane's partly smothered laugh.

Antonio sighed and said trying to ignore the pair of them. "I'll sleep downstairs again; they've wired the porch for sound so we can hear if he leaves but I doubt we'll get anything else as he sleeps so soundly."

Tyus laughed, "Oh a baby alarm, not a bad idea are you going to tell him."

Sister Jane smiled at Antonio's. "Not likely … unless of course, you think differently in which case you can do it."

Tyus kept a straight face as he looked at him and said. "No he needs to feel independent and now I must see my other patients. Don't forget keep an eye on him especially at sunset on the beach with Meg."

"Tyus!" Antonio exclaimed sharply to which Tyus said innocently "You've my number Antonio." And picked up his bag and left.

Antonio shook his head and muttered "You're just as bad Sister." looking at her. She'd just picked up the tray and turned away from the table while was trying to smother her laugh. He sighed and shook his head and walked towards the kitchen area and tried to find his phone so he could call Casey back, he also wondered if he was going to survive till tonight let alone tonight and tomorrow.

As he reached the tables he found the phone and saw their silent traveller was sitting on the bench looking out over the town and sat down to make his call.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20 **

Patrick knew it was after half four and he was feeling more than a little tired and irritated as he looked for the driveway that would lead to the house he was checking out for Jude. He'd spotted a house …nope had to his house, several miles back but the damn thing looked surrounded by crops with no way in. Seeing a for sale sign sticking out of the hedge five minutes ago, which explained a lot so he was mulling over lines for his cover story, just in case he actually found a way in. Was just trying to get the "Hi I was just passing saw the 'for sale' sign and would like to look a round your beautiful house and of course snoop while you are not looking." to sound authentic when he swore "**Damn!**" and slammed on the brakes to bringing the car to a squealing dead halt.

He'd found his driveway to that damn house.

He sighed relieved there hadn't been anything behind him to hit him and knew why he had not spotted the entrance earlier. It looked like just another sowing/harvest track stopping at the hedge, which looked continuous from the road. That is till you get to this point then you see the gap which coincided with the track. He reversed enough so he could drive down the grass covered track and then cautiously turned past the overgrown hedge noticing the wrought iron gate tucked back into it, which had Welcome Farm written on it. … **So** this was **the** house … a ruin of place no doubt as there was a grass covered rutted track for a driveway and a for sale sign.

Though he found the track surprisingly firm and even he very drove slowly in case a hole or large bolder suddenly appeared. He also kept his eyes on the opening at the far end of the track to make sure that didn't disappear. This was starting to remind him of a Hitchcock movie, which name escaped him as did the ending … all he could remember was tall crops and a chase scene … and the star was on foot. He was surprised his mind was playing ticks it was **just** a track but then again the crops either side the driveway were taller than his car and the driveway was really narrow. It also felt as though the only thing keeping the crops back were the thin wire fences that could break at any moment. **So** perhaps it was the film about moving plants that eat things or was that people he should be worried about….

To stop it all from creeping him out even more he thought back to the rather rundown looking greasy spoon café he'd visited a little earlier ... that had been misleading too. Rundown outside … clean and bright inside ... He smiled remembering the sign he dutifully obeyed "Need a Pee buy a coffee and or cake OR pay $100 just for the 'privilege'." apart from the food and drink being cheaper than paying just for the 'privilege' the guy behind the counter was built like a weightlifter so he doubted anybody disobeyed **that** order or anything else come that.

While waiting for his coffee he'd found an old guide book for the town he was visiting on the shelf by the counter so scanned it as he drank his very good cup of coffee and ate the irresistible cream cake silently promising a return visit on the way home. He struck lucky with the guide book and came across a small advert regarding Welcome Farm, it had been called an old fashioned mixed smallholding, garden nursery and recovery centre. He pictured a few people working in small fields on whatever they cropped with the odd horse and cart helping out. Certainly wasn't the half hidden house with these imposing crops waiting to be harvested or eat you up around it. Granted he hadn't worked out the recovery centre bit – humans, plants or animals.

So, perhaps as he'd started to think earlier this was Ben's failed venture … the names of the people in the advert were different from the one's he'd been given on the card and different from the other deal they could not trace. Profiling what he'd learnt about Ben he reckoned the man would have tried to save such an idea even if he was a very astute businessman. … To have it fail after all he'd been through would have been a shock … a huge one … then toss the girl into the equation during or after and the close down was self preservation because of the guilt he felt over business, child and failure.

It could have been failing and needed more money he knew Ben had to return home and face Meg and or Charles to get any more money. He'd made that the only way he could get extra cash after going over his limit … as safety net … no it was more personal than that it was an anchor to keep him safe if he was in trouble. He trusted the pair of them to do things quietly and be there for him Charles possibly more than Meg; he had given her that let out.

Suppose then he left to get more funds and saw or was involved in the accident regarding the girl and shut down happened, therefore loss of contact wouldn't the owners try and find him to get their money and tell him what happened. Or did they believe he'd walked out on them thinking it was a failure and were now trying pick up the pieces of their lives by selling the place. If so Ben would have to accept all that fallout once he remembered everything and that guilt well could tip him back again. Then again it could have been a scam and he was the … ….

His thoughts stopped and he silently wowed in amazement as he came out of crop jungle into sunlight and saw the whole front of the house for the first time - this place was very impressive … and useless if it was on its own as it seemed to be.

He drove across the gravel turning circle and pulled up in front of the house and got out the car ready to jump back in just in case the place was guarded or an angry owner appeared... you never know what to expect. He did know the crops and narrow driveway did a damn good job of keeping people out anyway. Standing by the car looking around he could feel that deserted feeling an empty property gets along with noticing the weeds amongst the untidy plants in the front borders. Knowing about the weeds in his garden he reckoned they were anything from a few weeks to a month rather than smothering mess that should have been there if no one had been here since March. … So, someone had been here for awhile in between and what … found it too much and left was leaving be another name to add to the list.

As no one had come charging out nor had he been deafened or eaten by a guard dog he reckoned there wasn't anyone hiding in the outbuildings, behind the wrought iron gate that shut off the yard or round the far side of the house. And wondered if the whole thing was a mistake? … That he should find the agent's number from the sign in the hedge and ring them before they went home for the night and meet them here. There would be just time if he moved now. He shrugged not wanting to face the drive out just yet **and** anyway he was here and Jude wanted news as soon as possible. He would ring the doorbell and see if the owner was at home … if not well he would have a quick look round then go and find that sign and number then contact the agent knowing a few more details than before.

Satisfied with his plan he walked up to the front door mentally sizing up the house; five large windows upstairs so could be seven or eight bedrooms depending where the bathroom and stairs were and how deep the house was. Either side of the large front door were two double sized windows with wide brickwork in between, perhaps each window was a room or just a hellava big room each side. … Whatever, this was some house in its day, no wonder it was looking a bit lost … and smiled at his thoughts. Pressing the bell and hearing it echo through out the house added to that deserted empty feeling he was getting.

After a moment he stepped back and glanced over at what he could see of the outbuildings which seemed to disappear into the crops. Like the house they could be well looked after no obvious signs of lose tiles or vegetation on or coming out the roofs. He then turned his attention to the opposite side of the house, there was a strip of grass and a couple of large trees that had hide the actual size of the house from the road before a new fine wire fence kept those crops out. The wire fence and close crops gave him the feeling the landowner wanted the house and buildings off his land …so perhaps there had been ownership dispute and the house owners lost.

Walking to that end of the house so he could look down the side to get an idea of depth of it he remembered part of a tv programme he'd caught a few weeks earlier about an old building being physically put on loaders and moved across a State via road and barge. And smiled reckoning this house would love that … get up and move to somewhere with space. He shook his head at his thoughts and looked in the window of the end room and stopped and whistled. Not only was there another window down the side it was combined with a large glass door opening onto the grass area making the room very light and comfortable … no window in the end wall so it didn't run the full length of the house.

This house was much bigger than he thought and took a closer look at the room and realised this was not a posh glossy magazine type house this was a comfortable lived in home. It was tidy with a couple of large sofas and armchairs near the empty fireplace, a small table with chairs then a large pile of scatter cushions near the usual tv, video music complex with stacks of cds and videos on the shelves. … Oh yeah shelves lots of them along one wall and part of the bottom wall the long one filled up with books, the other one filled up with boxes possibly board games, jigsaw puzzles that type of thing and a large box of something with what could be a bat of some kind poking out then a small pool table close to the end wall. So a games' room and as nothing was covered with dust sheets was someone brave enough to live with the crop jungle or did a cleaner brave the driveway it once a week.

He decided not to look down the side of the house but to make his way back to the front door in case someone just got there having been in another part of the house when he rang the bell. It was possible everyone seemed to catch him upstairs when they rang the doorbell and though it was just a two bedroom house and it seemed to take him forever to run downstairs to find them either gone or looking as though they'd been there forever. He certainly didn't want to get on the wrong side of these people, they had enough trouble. Harvest time didn't bear thinking about.

Walking back he couldn't resist peaking in the window of the next room and liked it even if it was darker than the other because of the lack of the extra window. It wasn't glum it was cosy even if one wall full of shelves of books… who on earth read so many books. And smiled as he pictured himself in one of the armchairs or the sofa which were drawn up round the fireplace and looked for the tv. It was missing and saw a radio and music centre with a stack of cd's on the shelves and a sewing machine and things on the table near the window so this was a 'quiet' work room – boisterous kids one room and adults in the other fair enough if the walls were thick and they didn't break all that glass.

He shook his head to concentrate his thoughts knowing this place was really getting under his skin in a nice way and went back to the front door and rang the bell again and waited. Then that itch to look in the next window got to him so he walked the few paces and looked. He realised this room was smaller than the others which meant the staircase could be behind it and saw things had been packed away, the shelves were empty with storage boxes on the floor. .. So they had started to pack to leave … but there was a tv, an armchair, small table and chairs as well as a single bed already made up waiting for use rather than packed for shipping out. A wave of depression hit him as he suddenly pondered if the owner had not been able to use the stairs … possibly room bound … gone to a nursing home or even died.

Pushing the thoughts away he moved onto look into the window of the last room and sighed. This had been a study and would have been a lovely one but now it was a storage room with packed boxes and its furniture labelled and covered. Paintings possibly from the rest of the house as there were too many for this room were wrapped in protective sheeting waiting for their special racks in the moving truck when it came.

He moved away from the house to get rid of the depressive feeling and reckoned as no one had answered his second ring he was right - no one had stayed. He decided to walk round to the gate which he noticed was unlocked and thought about what he'd seen. …Profile the house if not the people … In spite of the depressive feeling just now it was a comfortable house … just needed a family to wake it up again. The spooky feeling he'd got from the crops … perhaps that was just a little claustrophobia because he was tired and they were so close make the driveway wider and it would be better.

He opened the gate and walked into the yard and stopped. It was amazing … the outbuildings had outside stairs to the upper level and looked as if they could be one room or two room apartments, sleeping rooms whatever. The downstairs had closed stable doors so could be use for storage, workspace or animals. But it was too clean and tidy to know which, and again there was an apology for grass strip before that wire fence which kept the crops at bay. He wondered what had it been like before ...hedges with little fields, medium ones or a big one and had they gone on till the mountains that made such an impressive backdrop. Or had the small wood been bigger and whoever owned the crops had chopped some down but this lot refused to go just like the house. He knew this was not on the scale of the massive fields in other States but it looked out of place and boring. But then again perhaps it was the only way the farmers around here could survive ... he'd look into that.

Ignoring the temptation to take a closer look at the two outbuildings and carried on round past what he assumed was the working entrance to the house. … It had a large half brick half glass porch where racks for boots and hooks for coats and a dumping table stood on a tiled floor, all clean and empty. Turning the corner he found the first window and looked in on a farmhouse kitchen with a modern cooking range etc down one side of the wall and the sink and work surfaces under the window with cupboards along the other and two doors at the end of the room one looking as though one could be a 'walk in' storage cupboard or small room rather than two doors into the rest of the house. In the middle of the room was a table, which he thought was a working table rather than the main eating table because it's size and stools rather than chairs … so there had to be a dinning room.

As he walked round the stacked tables and chairs against the outside wall to get to the next window he wondered if they just used the garden. Then realising it would be too cold in winter, looking through the large glass door and window he saw this was the dining room. Like the others the furniture was well made possibly handed down through the family rather than the arty modern stuff, and knew this move must be painful for the owners … if alive. He liked the long table and chairs that dominated the room and a smaller table with chairs tucked to one side and wondered if that was a serving or children's table. He glanced back at the main table and then looked at the cabinets which held china and glassware no doubt silverware in the draws, and noticed the hatchway which must have been hidden by or in between the cabinets on the other side and reckoned that must save someone's legs. Then he realised with a jolt why part of him he kept coming back to the main table as he looked round.

On the far end of the table in this very tidy room lay a casually folded up coat. His mind went on alert noticing it was a lady's coat not a man's jacket and made his way to the last window knowing if this room was not large there must be another room with a side window and would have to ignore it. He looked in the window half expecting to see someone standing looking out or cowering in the corner … no one … only sofas, tables and chairs with comics, dolls house and boxes of toys and a shelf of soft toys etc all ready to be played with and he was right there was another room and he would ignore it. He would go back the way he came as there were two doors… unless they used the glass door on the other side of the house.

With the hairs on the back of his neck tingling he knew he better find the telephone number to the house and ring it and talk to the owner of the coat. Perhaps they were speaking to Jude or Ricardo right now so would know who he was but then again Jude had said they could be considered hostile and his own thinking had brought up the possibility. **But** nothing here said that as yet unless it was doomed from the beginning and they took Ben's money and ran. He knew from his work the quietest and nicest of people could also be the coldest and most dangerous when push came to shove and something had without a doubt pushed this place over the edge.

He walked quickly back with his systems on alert for his protection but also aware these people could be innocent and there could be a very scared woman waiting for him to go … would she have rung the police … after all there wasn't another car around … so might have walked surely not, it was still a fairway to town and that driveway… car was bad enough walking impossible so taxi perhaps. Could there be others waiting … a car in the stables … Ben's car even … once back at the car he'd ring that number on the card if no answer he'd leave a message explaining and suggesting a meeting with other people around to make her feel safe and then drive away … she'd not opened the door to him before so was not likely to now.

oxoxo

Walking through the gate alert and happy with his plans he slowed and then stopped not quite believing what he saw and yet knew it was true.

Waiting for him was a beautiful woman, with a top and trousers though decent, left no hiding places for concealed weapons. Possibly late twenties with her long chestnut coloured hair free except for the strands that were clipped back so it was away from her face, and her dark bright eyes seemed to smoulder as she was sizing him just as he was sizing her. She was totally relaxed leaning against his car … so there was no anger there yet and the smouldering eyes were also laughter not anger … …

Carrying on slowly towards her he kept his gaze on her, hoping she read the right signals in his expression and though he was keeping alert for possibility of someone else being around he kept his hands away and down by his sides, and made sure she could see his phone which was in his hand could not be mistaken for a weapon of any kind.

Before he could explain his presence the beautiful woman spoke. "Mr Patrick Smithson of the FBI how can I help you?" Her voice was gentle and full of confidence.

Patrick stopped again and smiled even though her words shook him - his cover was gone he'd have to rethink and knew they were at the talking stage. He could use his gun if necessary and she was not holding a weapon unless her phone counted as one. Like his it was held in full view… duel by phone could be interesting ... on the other hand her looks and voice could count as a big weapon so he kept his mind alert but his voice casual as he answered back. "You have the advantage over me, you are?"

She gave a short gentle laugh and said, "No, Mr Smithson you tell me what you want or you go out the way you came and come back tomorrow with a warrant or whatever your legal boys can think of." She held up her phone while adding. "People know you are here that's how I know your name and I'll call 911, which is on quick dial if you try anything. I'm unarmed but can defend myself if need be and I'd like you to keep you hand away from your gun which is under your coat while you start telling me why you are snooping round this house."

Patrick kept his hands away from his body weighing up new information about her. She was very confident in dealing with him; she certainly didn't fear him or his badge. She must have good friends somewhere … his car and ownership as well as FBI couldn't be traced by every Tom, Dick or Harry and he would have been warned by phone of such an enquiry. But there'd been no phone call, while looking round the house his phone had been on and close to hand … a press of a button could summons help and get him traced. So whoever had called his base hadn't thrown up any red flags. On the other hand if the whole thing was a scam and had caught Ben they must be very clever and said. "Before I explain can you tell me how you got my information?"

The lady smiled and nodded as she spoke, "Yes your car was run through trace for me by a friend …your base says you are working for another force but not which one and you are getting information for them. Now I would like your ID on the ground just to make sure your badge checks out with the number I've been given and you are the right person.

Patrick nodded and got his ID out and put it on the ground a few paces in front of him and stepped back so she could pick it up. He watched her crouch down and pick it up without taking her eyes off him or having to feel for it. He knew not many people could do that so easily which meant she knew the tricks of the trade as well as the fact he could have jumped her while her concentration was on getting the badge. So, a fellow officer of some kind, hence the phone call to records not being called to him, which could be good. He watched as she gave his ID a quick glance then spoke into the phone giving someone his details and description as she looked at him.

As he listened to her voice he wondered just how wise she'd been guarding his car … in some ways it was trump card he could not go without her moving, but if he was desperate enough he could shoot but then risk damaging the car and not getting away. Perhaps not a bad move really and she was giving the description as a police officer would … as she stopped speaking he said with respect. "So the line was open to your friend and 911 was a cover very good … and you know how to pick the card up without being vulnerable and give the description. You've had dealings with the law so I trust you'll hand my card back when you finished with it."

Still looking at him she laughed and signed off on the phone then said to him. "I have to ring back in 15 minutes to confirm I'm all right, the roads will be blocked if I don't and they have your number etc anyway. Yes you can have your card and so to business you first if you don't mind. Who did you want to see and why?"

He knew he could be macho stand on his rights as an officer and demand information first but why fight, she could slip up if put at ease just as easily as in an argument, and an argument was not what he wanted. He reached out for his card to remind her he needed it back and said. "As far as we know no one has done anything wrong I want to find and talk to Helen and Tim Weatherfield who I believe live or are staying here, though the house is in another name. It's regarding a man's lost memory; we've tracked him back as far as mid March 2000 and this address has come to light. We rang and have not received any reply my boss thought a personal visit would be good. I was on the way into town and looked up the address hoped to talk before going through official channels. We need to know when exactly and what the man was doing in this area, whether he was a traveller or a business partner or just passing through and if someone can help with his memory."

She handed him his card back and replied. "Sorry I can not help you very much. Helen and Tim are my parents as you can see this place is up for sale and the smallholding has already gone. They have been trying to find somewhere else to live and I thought they would have been here … to be honest I don't think they will stay even if they could." She looked around her and said very quietly. "It's changed too much. … I have only just got in from Europe, delayed flight and haven't been able to contact Mum on her mobile I'm hoping she left a message on the machine here. I've not lived here for over a year and only visited because of bereavement last year."

Patrick could hear the pain in her voice and the truth in her body language and said gently. "I'm sorry for your loss and to have troubled you. If I could I have the reg. of the vehicle we will find them and find out if everything's is all right and arrange for a chat." He put his card and the phone in his pocket but left it on just in case, though his intuition told him there was not threat here just a lot of sadness.

She looked at him for a long moment then nodded and walked towards the front door of the house and continued. "I'm a reporter, an investigator rather than a gossip and I could use the same friend I rang about your ID to trace them but thanks for the offer. I moved away from home and some of my recent work has been undercover so I still feel the need to be careful who I meet. I've not checked the answer machine yet so they could have left a message … we were all meant to meet up and start packing things away… the great family break up." She gave a light laugh to break her sadness "I guess we are all putting the moment off."

Patrick nodded his understanding while enjoying her beauty and noticing there was a peaceful homely feeling in the house as soon as they entered the hallway.

The woman stopped by the table where the phone and machine sat and introduced herself. "My name's Cynthia but I answer to the name Sy as in Sigh out aloud, which I do a lot so my colleagues and Mum tell me. Mind you Dad said Mum did it when I was born so between the two of us I have the nickname and its way better than Cyn. This beautiful house has been in our family for too many years to count and I'm extremely sad to lose her ... her garden, pond and a couple of other outbuildings have already gone, which seems impossible."

She pressed the button and the answer machine wound back then as it played the messages she wrote down the details on a pad while Patrick waited silently. The first one was Ricardo's message. The next couple were friends reminding her parents of dates as they could not get replies on the other numbers, the last one brought a smile to Sy's face and she just listened to it.

"Sy love sorry we're not home to greet you. Everything is sort of fine … well … we are … but a great big truck fell in love at speed with the rear of the 'old dear', which was parked quite legally at the time … the truck was going down hill so it was at least a quick end. You'll be glad to hear the truck driver got out with a few scratches and there was a lot of smoke and it made the local papers. … I miss the old lady … Especially as we are in a creaky old thing, which is running on prays and square wheels. Dad is threatening to write a stinking letter to insurance company who gave it us … perhaps if we get to our next port of call tomorrow we'll just dump it outside their offices and let them deal with it. We watched it all happen having just popped out to grab some coffee and cakes and as it was so nice the men left their coats and phones in the van … No, their cards and wallets were stuffed in their jeans pockets thank goodness. As you can imagine we've only got a few bits out the rest was squashed or foamed as they put the fire out."

There was a gentle laugh then the speaker carried on. "Oh yeah if you've tried to get me on my phone that went out the window earlier after it decided to have a mental break down. It was a different town in case you're wondering about threes … come to think of this van could count as third one anyway. The phone stopped dead even the assistant couldn't understand why it happened or why he couldn't get any information off that card thingy inside either. Guess what … he tried to sell me a new one but it was complicated and I didn't trust it so I thought we might find another brand another day ... possibly tomorrow. … I need to have a word with John so if you can be round there at eight this evening we could chat I know he will ring me back and pay the bill."

There was a gentle conspiratorial laugh then her voice turned serious again. "As for our future we've found nothing yet, Betsy is better away from the house now everything has changed sorry if it's a shock to you. I never thought they would be able to put the pond and stable down to crops but they have. I don't think we'll be coming back to pack up, but it will depend on Betsy … John knows the firm we were thinking of using for packing and storage … they can be trusted to do a good job so take what you want or get it put in separate containers, the paintings are in the study wrapped up so just mark any of those you want."

The phone message ran out and Sy looked a bit lost then the next message came up. "Hi I'm back hope you've not missed much. If you have just go to John's by eight we will discuss things when I phone him, can you bring any messages with you and put a new one in … I can't pick them up now as there's a queue and we need to move on. We are hoping to go to a place called Sunset Beach there's a garden centre, which is or was up for sale but because of my phone going south and the crash I've got no contact details. Guess we'll just have to hunt for it when we get there… we might have lost our chance anyway but you never know they might need mangers or doctors or something in the town. Whatever it will be a complete change of scenery which might be a good thing for everyone.

Betsy of course is totally unsettled by the crash she has lost yet another tie with her Mum and Dad I'm just hoping she will not go silent on us again. She was moody regarding the house anyway that's why we left. … Bob's with us at the moment and sends his love... Dad and I are trying to get him to see the specialist possibly at SB if they have one on call … he's in pain and been hopping around like a one legged sailor! Perhaps you should get him a stuffed parrot and meet us then he'll take the hint." there was a gentle laugh as she carried on. "Of course it does not help he's in a tent because the van is too small!

We'll talk longer when you're at John's as we'll have all night. Oh hang on I'll give you the reg. of the van in case you need to get in touch with us and I forget tonight. Don't use that yellow pen I meant to throw it out, perhaps you could, the number is …………"

All the way through Sy could almost feel her mother beside her rather than down the phone and as she replaced the tape with a new one she knew she was on her own again. She was aware Patrick had been listening and showed an interesting range of reactions including concentration at the number of the van and guessed he was trying to remember it as well as everything else. She tore her page of notes off and silently handed him the pad and pen knowing if he couldn't remember it he could work out a way of getting it … she wasn't going to offer it. Still with her mother's conversation in her mind she walked down the passage into the kitchen knowing he would follow he had questions to be answered and she needed a drink … a little more of her past had just gone. She wasn't afraid of this FBI officer he would respect her wishes … she was a good judge of character and her friend would be outside on the driveway soon and put the kettle on.

Patrick jotted down the number and followed her wondering at the coincidences life tended to throw up and decided sharing one might open doors, she'd been shocked at hearing about the crash and said. "Sy the place where the traveller is is Sunset Beach. Could you tell your parents to call in at the police station in the morning and ask for Ricardo or Jude they are both dealing with the case."

Sy turned and smiled with surprise "You're joking!"

Patrick smiled realising her mother's message had made her forget Ricardo's call. "No, I'll pass the information on when I report back this evening. Hopefully they can help with this traveller's memory."

Sy sensed Patrick's real concern and sniffed a story in the air so asked. "Why … travellers are usually brushed under the carpet or moved on very quickly."

Patrick knew he had to be careful there were still a lot of questions including one about money which this place could have eaten up very easily scam or no scam. But everything he sensed about the place including the way the woman talked on the answer phone gave him the feeling they were good people … not people hiding a secret … and now he knew Betsy was alive he needed history. Something he could trust … they could trust if they needed to talk to Ben before the morning and reassure him she was alive.

Bearing that in mind he explained briefly, "He is a friend of Detective Ricardo Torres and lived in Sunset Beach that's all I know I'm just gathering details to be passed on. Who is Betsy?"

A shadow of sadness crossed Sy's face and body and as she started to make the drink and asked. "Coffee, Milk? I brought it with me so it's okay."

Patrick nodded yes knowing she would tell him in her own time, which she did.

"Mum and Dad have guardianship of her, her mother was Mum's sister, she with her husband owned the smallholding and house … when they died it was bought by the larger farm down the road. Mum and Dad didn't have enough money to buy the house and I guess the promise of a roof over our heads till a new one was found has run out or never existed. Can't see the idea of Bed and Breakfast or hotel working it's a bit too quiet for such a large house and outbuildings to be filled … not to mention those damn crops along the driveway.

So, I guess it will be demolished or left to ruin, no doubt they'll lock the gate and plough the driveway into the field as soon as possible. Mum and Dad are not farmers and the place was losing money anyway, they did dream about someone rich coming and buying but it was just a dream. I think they knew they would have to move into town some when but had hoped to leave a legacy of something special, which it was … but it's gone now.

Sy stopped for a moment gathering her sad thoughts and then carried on hoping her voice would stay steady. "Claire and Alex Morris died November last year in an avalanche that's why I came home to say goodbye to them. We were a very tight family group, they were on a holiday weekend Mum and Dad with Betsy were caught on the very outer edge of the avalanche. They got covered but were near the surface and got out … Dad never let go of Betsy thank goodness; she was unconscious a short while. …Her parents were with the other group further up the slope another couple lost their lives as well… so another family mourned a loss. … Betsy and my parents watched the search teams bring in their bodies down. She was silent through shock and loss and seeing them buried at the funeral didn't help … I don't suppose cremation would have helped either … she's a very bright kid understands death means not coming back.

I wanted to come home at Christmas as well to help her and family but the firm and story made it impossible. This is the first opportunity since the funeral I've had, I've been out of communication except for a brief note saying they were on the road and to meet up to clear things out. Mum and Dad along with Claire and Alex ran this place some of the workers were people recovering from breakdowns and then there's Bob Paxman that's Mum's brother he drifts in and out as well as helps John, his brother and John's family with the trucking business. So that's our history in a nutshell."

Patrick took the cup of coffee from her and asked. "Did this place have a pond?" remembering her earlier words but needed her to carry on talking for her own sake as well as getting information.

Sy gave a sad smile at the memory and said. "Yes it was out the back, more to the left and somewhere in the big field of whatever it is now. They've knocked down a small barn and stables, greenhouses and a couple of wooden sheds ... it amazing how different this place looks. Something you think would take years to go must have taken weeks rather than months as the crops are on the land. Believe it or not we had the fields out front they had plants rather than food crops it looked beautiful if they flowered and some flowered as they needed the seed. But that was Claire and Alex's job … Mum and Dad could not run it they were the medical side … we all used to pitch in of course.

Dad's a medical Doctor based at the hospital and Mum's a shrink or head doctor hence the recovery centre. Claire and Alex knew this place was hanging on by its finger tips when the farm next door was swallowed up by the same group over a year ago."

She sighed and drank her coffee in silence. When she put her empty cup in the sink and looked out of the window she said softly. "I think Mum is right I should stay with John … not here it's too painful. I want to go and sit by the pond but I can't."

Patrick knew he had some answers and wanted to bring her out of her sadness and spotted the jumper that had been hidden from the window and asked. "That jumper?"

Sy gave a gentle slightly wobbly laugh then took a breath and said softly. "Not so bright as when it was first knitted years ago … Aunt Maud died nearly two years ago, she was in her eighties. Compulsive knitter, used to do sensible … beautiful garments and sold them, but as she got older she could only do simple patterns. Used to knit the seams on those as well ... the wool shop in town used to sell us out of stock or odd balls cheap ... bag of the things hence the colours.

She gave a real happy laugh seeing Patrick's expression and then carried on. "We had to do something … no one was safe unless she was knitting something. Mum used to say a long end on a jumper you were wearing would start life as a new one by the time you stopped talking to her … and she used to talk bless her. She was a lovely character had the room out front so she stayed one of the family. She used to make similar ones for the shelter in town, that's not the only one I expect the rest are packed Mum used some for her patients who wanted to be around town but might need a helping hand to come back home. It's not a very large town so everyone knows everyone and anyone looking lost in a jumper used to be guided back here or we would get a phone call. As they were warm, weatherproof and comfortable we kept them in the porch used then as jackets on the farm, of course if we forgot we had them on and went to town we'd get the odd smile."

Patrick smiled hoping Ben had been a worker rather than a patient and knew Sy could not tell him any more he needed her parents. He looked at a happy family photo on the wall and noticed the sisters were very alike and with such a family would need the room for gatherings and said casually. "I can give you a lift if you like I'm stopping in town tonight, too tired to drive back up north." He still needed to suss the town out.

Sy shook her head and smiled "No thanks my lift should be here now."

As if on cue there was a loud positive toot of a car's horn from the front and she walked past Patrick with a nod, which he took as a follow me and realised her so called 15 min phone call was in fact someone coming to see her … and was slightly troubled she had lied so confidently… and it could run in the family so they could still be looking at a…

Sy's voice broke into his thoughts. "You've enough information about my family just be carefully around Betsy especially if she's silent or moody she's gone through enough recently and still going through it by the sounds of things. I would love to know what started her talking though … hear her laugh … perhaps I might travel and find Mum and Dad rather than stay in town."

Patrick joined her on the steps and saw a police car waiting besides his car and smiled then said. "Thank you for the information, I see your protection is here. We will be careful don't you worry, when you speak to your mother tonight ask them to call in late morning that will give them time to travel from where ever they are. If they need assistance because of the square wheels or just want to check times ring Ricardo or Jude at the station and we'll sort something out. This is the station's number." He handed her the card and then walked over to his car giving the uniformed officer a nod of greeting.

The Officer was standing nearer to Patrick's car than his own nodded but spoke to Sy. "You need a lift Sy."

Sy smiled at the statement rather than a question and answered. "Thanks for coming and yes please round to John's. Mum will ring there later this evening. Can you come and help with my things and Patrick needs to stay in town for the night."

"That's okay anytime you know that." Then the Officer turned his attention to Patrick. "Mr Smithson the best hotel is The Black Horses, top of the drive turn left then first road right, not the track and it's on the edge of town you can't miss it. If you want any information about anything ask me in the morning I've got a 'do' to go to this evening. The locals like their privacy and these are good people." It was said nicely and without any hidden threatening undertones.

Patrick knew it could wait till morning at Sunset Beach, and besides he wasn't going to lock horns with the Police Chief of a small town so opened the car door and as he sat in the driver's seat replied. "I'm off work now so all chat will be just gossip about nothing in particular."

As Sy had come round to his side of the car and stood by the Police Chief he turned his attention to her adding. "Take care and thanks for your help, look forward to seeing you in Sunset if you decide to meet your parents there."

He closed the door and switched the engine on and then carefully manoeuvred his car round to drive out …the last thing he wanted was to dent that police car. Being very conscious of the fact they were watching him and would most probably be following him in awhile he decided to find the hotel and then report to Jude rather than find the nearest lay-by and ring in from there.

There was no rush and if need be they could put a call out for the van later on otherwise it could all be done in the morning and made a mental note to make an early start... he wanted to meet this family.

oxoxo

As Patrick was pulling into the 'The Black Horses' car park, somewhere north of Sunset Beach with steam coming from its bonnet a trailer van chugged slowly into the lay-by and stopped with a sigh as the engine died. The four occupants looked at each other then three burst out laughing feeling it was better than crying the fourth one looked as though she was ready to cry big time... she'd had enough.

Helen put an arm round her silent niece and said gently. "Betsy it will be fine as soon as it has had a rest and another drink of water. Now we'll look at the map and find a park to stop for the night and I'll ring John find out if Sy's home and then tomorrow we will go to Sunset Beach and find a better van and charge it to the twit who gave us this one."

Tucked in her Aunt's arms Betsy felt the fear and sadness start to fade, part of her wanted that silence she had after her parents death … she could not seem to stop losing things she loved …but part of her knew if she drifted into that silence she would lose herself again and not be able to get back... she'd lost her helper as well….

Her spiralling thoughts were stopped by a loving squeeze of her arm and her Aunt's quiet gentle words. "Let's find those iced buns we hid in the cupboard earlier shall we?"

The thought of food brought back a memory of her Aunt, mother and herself curled up in the armchairs in front of the fire with a plate of iced buns and drinks. With its warm sadness wrapping round her she got up and helped her Aunt rummage through the cupboards for buns, plates and mugs.

Tim and Bob who were in the front part of the van found the map and opened it out hoping help might be close by this thing wasn't going to go very far. Noticing Bob wince as he moved his leg Tim said gently but firmly. "Tonight you and Betsy sleep in the van then tomorrow you'll the hospital and no more hiding."

Bob sighed "Oh come on it will go off." then exclaimed hoping to take his brother in law's mind off the idea "**Look!** There's a park about half an hour on this road and it's down hill till we get there. Do you think this thing will make it with a little shove and no engine?"

Tim smiled at the ploy and said. "Yes but not with a shove from you and no **it** will not 'go off' as you put it. As soon as we have been round the garden centre and found the beach for Betsy and Helen I will drag you screaming if necessary to the hospital."

"You and whose army?" Bob said softly giving Tim a serious sidelong look.

Tim recognised that look and tone and knowing just how dangerous his brother-in-law could be said firmly. "Me, all by myself … you're retired from active duty so I've nothing to fear and anyway think of what Helen would do to you if you touched me."

"Hmm so you're hide behind her skirt?" Bob said very seriously keeping his laughter tightly reigned in.

"What skirt?" Helen said sharply sticking the plate of iced buns between the men and carried on softly. "Drinks in a moment when you two have stopped playing big boys as I don't want them thrown about this **beautiful** van."

Tim took the plate with a laugh, which was joined by Bob's though they stopped as they heard a wobbly giggle and turned in their seats to look at Betsy who looked back and blinked causing her tears to run, then keeping her eyes on Bob she said a wobbly "Please" and bit into her iced bun to keep more tears away.

Bob looked at her and smiled knowing he was beaten … three against one were just too bigger odds especially as one was so close to a lot more tears. "Okay tomorrow afternoon." then bit into his bun as if to seal the deal with Betsy who nodded as she chewed.

Helen said softly hoping to put her plan into action. "Morning rather than afternoon otherwise it will be another day gone knowing how hospital doctors work. And we can suss the place out and stay in town for a while regardless."

Bob sighed silently pleased Helen hadn't accepted the new phone otherwise she would have rung them there and then, assuming the damn thing had worked and had not been a heap of junk like the van of course.

Between mouthfuls of bun Tim summed up their plan of action just to make sure his brother in law didn't wriggle out of it later. "So I fill the radiator up and we drive down the hill to the campsite there should be a phone that you can use Helen so you can still ring John. It looks as though there's a café and a shop on site so we can get food for tea and you young lady can play on the swings etc. I'll see if I can get the hole plugged for the morning and tweak a few wires and you Bob can rest that leg. We'll work out different sleeping arrangements and in the morning we'll find Sunset Beach dump Bob in the hospital and find the garden centre see what is on offer, and see the beach then go back to Bob and find out how he is. And lastly we'll find somewhere to stay with or without the van depending whether or not I've seen a certain insurance firm or garage."

Seeing nods all round and liking the idea Helen decided it was safe to get the cups of tea and juice.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21 **

Sitting in the quiet area looking out across the town and bay Ben let the fragmented memories, questions and realisation of time tumble through his mind knowing they would settle and possibly disappear. Gradually he recognised the view and what it meant to him as well as the fact there were memories he could not get to. He knew Father Antonio and Sister Jane were there for him but ignored them because he felt trapped by his silence, though there was a ripple of understanding that together they would find the keys to the missing bits and he was not alone anymore. Also he needed to trust them in spite of the deep unknown fear that had swamped him, closed him down and made him move away from them ... made him feel that space between them was safer for them… him ... he didn't know.

After awhile he was tossing and turning his fragmented memories of Meg with his guilt of leaving her and knew he needed to ask her for forgiveness tonight regardless of the large gaps about their relationship and his life. And knew her answer … her reaction to him meant everything to him … rejection or acceptance… heartbreak or love. He felt restless, edgy and could not settle … there was something else … something important that he should know or do or be doing. But he couldn't get hold of the information didn't know where to look or how … the darkness was still there in the distance waiting to swallow him up. He could not explain it to his friends who were watching over him and he could not sit there anymore he had to move do something and hope this strange edgy feeling and catching memories would settle.

He got up and walked over to the children's graves checking over the rose as it cascaded down the hedge and those feelings memories disappeared giving him peace for a moment.Spotting a weed near a child's grave he crouched down picked it out then tossed it under the hedge out of sight and memories of his time with Benjy swam into focus. He tried to get them clearer and into context as they were tiny fragments but darkness threatened to overwhelm him. He thought of Meg as they'd worked side by side in the garden and found the darkness started to drift away back to the edges of his mind leaving him breathless.

Taking a moment to get his breath back he realised he had successful in evaded darkness by thinking of something else … of Meg. But he also sensed he could not return to those memories of Benjy and started to wonder why it should worry him and who Benjy was. Feeling agitated and restless again he got up and looked around then walked slowly towards his brother's grave wanting the strange closeness he found there and hoped this time he would have some answers as well as comfort.

He stood for a moment looking down at it and then eased himself down to sit beside the grave and ran his fingers over the letters on temporary headstone that read 'Derek Evans died 24 December 1999 Rest In Peace'. Feeling the strange closeness wrap round him he let his mind drift back into their child and young adulthood rather than the recent past, which he knew could bring another fight with darkness… he missed and loved his twin.

oxoxo

Father Antonio looked over at Sister Jane as she walked towards him and smiled knowing she wanted to be with them but couldn't and if he was brutally honest he was dreading tonight, perhaps they should change places but that would mean he'd …

Her quite cheerful voice broke through his thoughts. "Good luck Father my thoughts are with you and I'll keep my phone on in case you need me. So don't hesitate to ring but I know you won't need to. He trusts you and so does Meg and you've got Casey with you as well."

He gave a quiet laugh finding tension and fears gone and said. "Thank you Sister. I'll see you later tonight and I'll tell you what happens"

Sister Jane smiled nodded and then looked over at Ben before walking away knowing she would keep Father Antonio to that offer no matter what time he came in and how briefly if he was going to sleep out in the porch with Ben.

Picking up the phone from the table and putting it in his pocket Antonio then walked over to Ben knowing they should move as people would start coming to Mass soon, and he didn't want them starring or asking questions. Nor did he want to rush Ben who seemed to be in deep thought and hoped he would be back in talking mode. He had no idea how his friend was as he'd not taken any notice of them since walking off in the afternoon and now the sun was setting and dusk would turn into night and he would sleep. As Antonio walked over and then sat beside Ben he considered all the possibilities including total rejection and asking quietly. "Are you all right Ben?"

Antonio sighed silently as he got a nod then concentrated as Ben moved his hands quickly away from his brother's grave and started the basic form of sign language he'd caught a glimpse that morning in Meg's garden. As he watched he realised what was being said and hoped the shrug at the end was not Ben's way of saying 'slow coach' as he took a couple of moments to get his thoughts together and then said needing confirmation. "You don't understand why Derek treated you like he did; you love him and would have shared everything with him especially Benjy."

He was pleased he'd got a nod from Ben and asked "You left home on good terms?" half expecting a 'cut off' gesture, as Ben had never spoken about Derek after the first kidnapping and he had not pushed as they all thought Derek was dead and it would take time for Ben to come to terms with it and then event happened as they all ways seemed to do in Sunset Beach.

The gesture never came, instead Ben shrugged and nodded then drew four stick figures in the air and pointed to the white air trail that a plane had just left in the sky and held his hands together four times with a slight grin.

Antonio was quietly enjoying the experience now he was getting used to the gestures and guessed thinking over his own childhood. "You had your usual brotherly troubles but you all said goodbye at the airport with love not anger, the break with your brother came later."

Ben nodded and pointed to his brother's grave and drew one beside it and Antonio knew he meant his parents and said gently. "After your parents died?"

Antonio couldn't help his slight smile as he saw Ben's sharp nod and then read Ben protective signing that Derek had nothing to do with his parents' death and reassured him with genuine feeling. "Its okay I understand, didn't think he would. Perhaps his grief turned him against you regardless of the help you or anyone else gave him. Did you return home for your parents' funeral?"

Ben nodded then clasped his hands together as he had in the beginning then broke the clasp and then let them rest on his legs.

Antonio knew their conversation about Derek was closed and was about to suggest they move when he saw Ben move his hands towards his chest one resting on his heart before reaching out to him with both of them and grasping his hands gentle in them and guided them to the temporary headstone on Derek's grave. While making sure he neither toppled nor showed resistance Antonio noticed Ben's expression was softer and understood what he was trying to get across. He gently turned his hands in Ben light grasp so he could hold Ben's hands to reinforce the truth as he said. "Ben I'm glad I could do it for you and your brother. Those who came to the funeral did so with understanding not hate and I'm sorry you could not come. I read your wishes and the Will he wrote in your name and the other Fathers agreed it would be all right for him to rest here. If you feel the need for anything different it will be all right to change things." He felt Ben's hand move and broke the grasp but carried on. "But now we should go if we wish to miss the rush for Mass and not keep Meg waiting."

Feeling the warmth and truth of Antonio's words Ben nodded and tried to find out why he didn't go to his twin's funeral and found nothing at all only the threat of darkness and knew not to push for any memories. Remembering about the coming visit he knew what he needed to do before he saw Meg and pointed towards his yard hoping Antonio would understand.

Antonio understood the message and said. "That's okay I'll see if Casey has managed to park close by then come and get you."

They helped each other up and Antonio couldn't quite put a name to what he was feeling as he watched Ben go, perhaps it was a mixture of everything with a large dollop of pride that he should be so trusted by this man. After all, Ben had never opened up about his brother before and to do it now and in sign language showed it was important to him. But the fact he was so comfortable with sign language in that state worried Antonio and hoped next time Ben would feel he could actually speak to him... join the silent Ben and the talking Ben together.

Walking towards the kitchen entrance to go round the front of the Mission he could not help wondering what was going to happen when Ben saw Meg … would he sign to her or would he try and break that barrier and speak. Trouble was they had other barriers to break through as well … their reservations and guilt about their past and leaving each other … they had both done now it was not just Meg leaving Ben as it had been … and would that make a bigger barrier or would it help them break it down. He shook his head to stop his thoughts … they weren't doing any one any good least of all him and he needed to find Casey before Ben was ready… find out how far they needed to walk or if the police car had moved to let them in…..

oxoxo

Having found Casey and dealt with the odd bits and pieces that always seemed to crop up Antonio walked into Ben's yard knowing everything was ready for their getaway. He smiled as he saw Ben come out of the washroom and stop in the light from the building and look over at him with a slight tilt of the head which Antonio knew was a silent question to him. He nearly laughed because nothing could be taken back now if he'd said 'no it was not a good idea' instead he gave his nod of approval but could not help asking. "Are you sure about this Ben?"

Ben nodded and put his cap on, hitched his bag so it was comfortable on his shoulder and started to walk towards him. As they met Antonio couldn't help adding "I want you to be careful when you see Meg …don't rush things … most of all don't worry if you stay silent she'll understand."

Ben stopped for a moment and looked at him then nodded and turned his head and saw Casey at the end of the passageway set off to meet him.

Antonio walked behind his friend wondering what the hell this evening was going to produce because the lost stranger was gone … this was Ben as in Ben on a date. Especially as he was now clean shaven with body language that screamed Ben Evans in spite of the cap and jumper. … He also wondered if Ben thought by doing this he would break through his wall of silence when he saw her. … _**He hoped so **_. Or was it stronger than that … Ben **knew **this was the trigger he needed and it had come to him in the washroom or perhaps as he sat watching the view. … _**But what if it wasn't**__** What if it set him back?**_… Antonio did not have time to finish that depressing thought because they met up with Casey.

Casey smiled as he put a hand on Ben's arm saying "Good to see you Ben." Then back to Antonio. "Its all clear we've just missed an early group but we've got to keep moving." Then he turned and escorted them out through the Mission gates to the rescue truck trying hard to quell the feeling of excitement that was running through him because in spite of the cap and jumper he could see that old determination in his friend's body language and knew he was nearly back with them ... so tonight could be it ... the start of their new beginning…

They quickly found their places in the rescue track and as Casey drove off Antonio hid a smile seeing an unmarked police car pull out and follow them at a distance and knew he had back up if he needed it.

oxoxo

Across town Meg had felt the full range of emotions since Ben's collapse that morning and had been updated by everyone and been given the green light by Sister Jane not long ago. Along with the full rang of emotions there was frustration on Ben's behalf but at the moment she was simmering with nervous tension like she had on her first date or the knot when she went for the job she really really wanted and felt totally unprepared for. … But this wasn't a job this was as date with the man she loved … who she couldn't touch … who didn't know himself….and might not know her when he arrived. … How strange was that?...

She'd been through her wardrobe pulling out dresses and skirts and putting them back finally deciding Ben needed familiarity rather than feminine beauty. He'd seen her in top and jeans in the morning so she went through her tops and finally found a matching set of cardigan and top which she felt happy with and now with jeans and only a touch of make up was ready to go.

Trying to take a breath to calm herself she checked bag again for what seemed to be the tenth time and chided herself silently "Everything is there! Get move on otherwise you'll be late and then what!"

Flicking the side light on in case she was late back she made it out the bedroom though her mind was racing over that afternoon and her fears again, which was soo stupid. She had nothing to fear … not really …Ben would not reject her … he'd come home … Okay so he might not have realised he was home at first …but he does now … and he still wants to see her. It would be all right if Ben collapsed as he had that morning Antonio would be there as would Casey and he would wake up from it he had before. … She could also reassure him they all knew he was not responsible for Tim's death no matter what he thought. And her father, bless him had gently reminded her that he was okay with everything **and **the red car was still off limits. …

"The**keys** to the 'work' car … in your bag idiot!" She huffed and checked the time and ran downstairs, she really was going to be late if she wasn't careful and just as she got to the front door the phone, which was in the lounge rang.

Anxiously she turned and put one step towards walking to answer it when the door bell rang followed instantly by an impatient loud knocking and the bell again. As the phone had not stopped she was torn between the two.

Being nearer to the front door than then the phone she opened the door and found a flustered Bette on the doorstep.

Turning away from her friend and expecting her to come in Meg said. "I'll just get the phone Bette."

Instead Bette grabbed Meg and yelled "No! Don't answer that or you're other one either just go!"

Meg turned back with a grimace of pain and anxiously said. "Bette it could be about Ben."

Bette immediately let go and gave a short sharp laugh and exclaimed. "**Yes!**It's that damn Doctor wanting to get him on her couch!"

Surprise swept the pain away and Meg said sharply. "Bette, explain and I'm going to be late if it's long." Knowing how Bette could go on and on before she got to the point.

Bette gave a sigh as she turned and walked towards the cars knowing Meg would have to leave the phone and let the answer machine pick up, which is what Meg did. Meg also made sure she had her keys and locked the door and then walked quickly to hear Bette's dramatic and rushed explanation.

"The**bitch** is with Tyus, AJ and Charles at the hospital. We were having a quiet talk about Ben when she charged in ranting on that she should have Ben at Cedar Oaks before he got killed forgetting where he was when walking the streets with Antonio or taking flight or worse killing someone as he hit out in confusion or anger or like Derek. She said there had been a complaint made, but not by whom. I sneaked out for a supposed loo break to warn you. I think they need both you and Antonio to commit him. When I left Tyus was explaining about the other doctor don't know how long that will hold. She's on a roll and wants Ben, always has since she knew there was a twin. You and Antonio need to get Ben out of town or somewhere safe perhaps by…."

"**Bette!**" Meg shouted to stop her friend carrying on and then calmly said. "If we hide she'll get hold of Jude and he'll have his officers bring Ben in and we can't have that."

Bette got agitated and pleaded. "**Meg!** He needs somewhere safe and quiet we all know that. Not her damn questions or padded room while we go get the Judge to get him out! As long as she can not get hold of both of you he will be safe I'm sure of it. You need to get him!"

Meg was over by her car and knew she had to placate Bette or she'd kidnap Ben herself and another kidnapping however well meant to add to his list was the last thing anyone wanted. "Okay I'll see what Antonio says when I meet him at the Shock Wave and we can get hold of Jude through the officers who are with them."

"Good girl, now go and remember switch that phone off." Bette felt better as she got in her car and drove off she'd done all she could for her Prince of Darkness and now she'd have tell AJ what she'd done and think up and excuse for being gone so long. Though she reckoned they understood and that meant the damn Doctor as well….

As Meg drove to the Shock Wave she began to fear she would see a reception party there with her presence making it all legal for him to be taken away. It was the sensible place to expect them if they'd been missed at the Mission and she knew about the meeting. What could she do to help Ben they all knew he was a danger in flight hence the precautions but who'd put it down on paper … had word got out that it was Ben at the Mission … perhaps the good doctor had made up the complaint once she heard the rumours or was someone getting payback? Ben had stood on a few toes in the past….

oxoxo

About the same time as Ben and Antonio were sitting beside Derek's grave Ricardo was just reaching the door out of the police station ready to leave for the evening when he heard Jude's shout. "Ricardo! Wait I've just got off the phone and need a word. It won't take long I know Gabi and Cathy are waiting."

Ricardo turned and spotted Jude had a cup of coffee and signed he was going to grab one, Jude waited in silence and Ricardo guessed by his silence it was about Ben rather than the murder enquiry so waited till they got in the office and Jude had closed the door before saying. "Well."

Jude smiled knowing the look and tone of voice as well as the fact it was well known a cup of coffee meant a **long** session and said hoping to reassure as well was explain. "I was thirsty and this will not take long I promise you. Patrick's just rung in and I'd like you to hear the information and discuss or just agree to sleep on the information will be fine." Jude took a gulp of coffee as Ricardo nodded and found pen and paper then he carried on. "Patrick took the freeway down it was a good journey as it was clear but it took him awhile to find the farm because … …"

Feeling relieved Ricardo finished his coffee and gave a slow smile as he pondered all the information and knowing Jude would give him free reign said. "I agree with Patrick's assessment now we know Ben is into gardening etc. But it would not have been a senseless risk no matter what he'd been through he didn't when mourning Maria. It was more like the other way round which caused some of my suspicions against him... he was thinking too clearly doing too well… of course I know that was not the case now … that's how he mourns. I agree with you we should not rub the local boys up the wrong way especially as we might be dealing an established family whether good or bad, perhaps he'll get something without asking.

It great to hear about Betsy and know she's not just part of Ben's mixed up mind though there is still a possibility something's not right there... he could be remembering things wrong. If the kid was silent that could account for the signing he knows and he's just slipped into it. I know Patrick has a good feeling about people but still doesn't answer why they've never contacted us if he went missing on them. Don't forget this Sy woman admitted they needed a rich rescuer. … He could have been that rich rescuer that last withdrawal was February and he doesn't come to light till mid March. Could be he tried and failed and they turned on him, hence no contact. Of course that would mean with them coming here we are giving them bad news and will be putting Ben in danger at a time when he can not defend himself. Word against word no proof on either side. It will be a family against one.

Jude nodded and said "Perhaps but we can protect him because he is silent and on our territory, but I take your point. But surely if that was the case wouldn't they have stayed well clear of Sunset Beach knowing it was his home ground. I don't know this information opens more questions than answers. Patrick's going on line see what he can find now he's got more history and the other names to play with. He's eating at the moment and playing nice as he put it.

Of course there's always the possibility Ben decided to change his name along with his appearance to break with his dead twin completely, which would mean these people didn't have a contact address don't know they are coming to his base. There is the other possibility they might have thought they were being taken for a ride it could have been a 'cash in hand' arrangement in the beginning and he left to get more cash and never came back as Patrick suggested."

There was silence as the both pondered the new possibilities and then Jude started hesitantly with the other suggestion. "Umm we don't know what effect Derek's death had on Ben after he left, … could have started out all right then he went down hill … which throws up the possibility he was a patient not a business partner at all, … and the money was payment for treatment only or part payment and there is a business venture in a completely different area which we have yet to find.

He sighed and concluded. "That unfortunately would produce a whole lot of new questions, which I don't want to face till we've positive proof. The group are coming in late morning now I'm assuming that will mean 10.30 onwards. They have our phone number if they need help or to change things and I'll stay on direct call all night. I know you won't like this but it will be just Tyus and I seeing them …**Damn and blast it**!"

Ricardo, who'd been thinking he would be excluded, looked at him sharply because of his sudden exclamation.

Jude shook his head and sighed then carried on very seriously. "The name Bob Paxman has just rung the bell that's been niggling me since Patrick mentioned the names of the people. There was a special services officer who lectured to an FBI course about going deep undercover without getting killed as well as how to run certain scams."

At Ricardo's raised eyebrows he added. "He was damn good and if he went native I've no doubt he could get rid of bodies if need be without them ever coming to light if things went wrong … not that they would go wrong with his thinking."

"Well at least he is not a body, though he nearly was after the first kidnapping and anyway I thought I was the miserable one regarding Ben." Ricardo commented packing his pen and pad away knowing they were moving into speculation rather than facts and that could go round in circles for ages and he needed to get home.

Jude gave a short laugh. "True and Patrick did say he got good vibes from the place and Sy, but I'll bear it in mind and get the history before we take them to Ben. Still it's odd that they were coming regarding the garden centre, Meg bought it and Ben's turned up. I don't know. We've got their van reg. and we know when the accident to the old one happened, so we can track it via internet papers and find out where they are likely to be coming from. I'll set up a watch at the freeway junctions and pick them up then guide them in. If Patrick comes up with anything doggy I might ask the local officers just to watch camping sites in case they do a runner or the story is a hoax."

Ricardo nodded "Of course if we go with your thinking that this Bob character is special ops and a villain then you'll have no idea if he's lying or not and that might complicate things slightly. How's Annie?" and shifted his chair back ready to get up.

Jude gave a soft laugh "Complicated will not be the word for it. … Annie she's been bugging me for the latest and a trip down to the Shock Wave in five minutes but I told her no and added the threat of jail time if she sneaks over there. … Though I must admit it's a tempting idea."

Ricardo smiled and any comment was stopped by a knock at the door and an Officer coming in and handing Jude an envelope which he opened as the Officer left. Pulling the photo out of the envelope Jude sighed and put it on the table and reached for the phone and dialled, while waiting for pick up commented. "Unless Ben's done a quick female and blonde job we could have trouble over his money."

Ricardo looked at the photo as Jude spoke into the phone. "Patrick can we talk … … Any of the female members of the family have long blonde hair … … …. Okay, it's a grainy ATM photo which means Ben must have trusted someone enough to let them have his card. … … … Thanks, and you can check it out but don't cross swords with the locals and that definitely includes the chief. … … … I need you back early but don't drive through the night as I might need you to do some leg work for me here … … … Yeah you can ring me any time … … … and goodnight to you too." and finished his call.

Ricardo had been thinking while half listening to Jude's call and said. "Sara gave me a programme which could make this one clearer."

Jude was thoughtful for a moment. "As far as he knows all the family down there have dark hair so that could clear them. Ben could have been laid up and needed the cash so it was a friend doing a favour …adds credence to our other theory unfortunately. Do the picture and we'll keep it quiet for the moment. Patrick's going to walk round the churchyard to see if the story about Betsy's parents' checks out after he's finished his meal … says the apple pie looks good enough to die for. That lad really knows how to make me feel jealous."

Ricardo smiled and nodded then added looking at the photo. "I think we both agree Ben would not have trusted just anybody with his card, so we'll have to go back and think about the emails and the other ATM's etc." Though he voiced the thought he knew Jude would wait till tomorrow when they hopefully had more information unless of course Ben decided to tell everything to Meg tonight but that was more speculation he didn't want and put the photo in the envelope and asked as he walked towards the door. "What are you doing about tonight and the firecrackers?"

Jude finished scribbling his note to the duty officer and got up to join him hoping Ricardo had not heard his stomach rumbling, he was going to get Patrick when he got back. He'd been fine till apple pie had been mentioned and now he was starving and said. "Double the patrols and hope. Must admit was tempted to give Ben ear muffs or get Tyus to give him a sleeping pill tonight but in view of his reaction to pills I canalled that one. If you include the firecrackers that have gone off already and the lot handed in there can't be too many out there. Mind you it might only take one to send him over the top.

Of course as we very publicly arrested a group of kids a warnings gone out and the fact there could be a big fine has also gone round by word and mouth as well as on the telly. As you know Paul and the IT Officer are checking the chat rooms for this Simple Simon character hopefully they'll be able to trace him back or stop anything from happening and I'll pass on this other thing about the van. Other wise have a good night."

Ricardo nodded and said lightly. "Some hope as Cathy will get us up anyway. I'll drop this picture in early if you want me too otherwise see you after my shopping trip."

They had got to the reception desk so Jude handed the slip of paper to an Officer with instructions what to do and then continued their conversation as they walked towards the Station doors. "Don't make a special trip everything is running smoothly regarding the murder investigation. I'll leave any information I get from that and this other family in the office and give the Desk Sergeant the key if I need to go to the Mission with them to see Ben. I'll ring you at home if anything else turns up so take an early lunch then you'll have a clear run through till the evening. I know you can't do anything yourself but you can ring me if I'm not available then Spence or one of the senior officers to act on it I know I can trust your judgement on things, also Patrick will be happy to discuss anything with you as well don't forget he can use other data bases if needs be. Just to cover yourself though put everything in writing with times etc. You settled down after your sister's visit?"

"Sort of I need to discuss something with Antonio which will have to wait till after Ben's been sorted." Ricardo felt good that Jude trusted him but didn't feel a close enough bond to explain what had happened.

Jude noticed Ricardo's ever so slight unease and knowing he'd lost that tight knit relationship police officers had and probably didn't have one outside yet said hoping to reassure him he had a lifeline. "You know you can discuss anything with me and it will not go any further or judgment given unless wanted."

Ricardo thought for a moment and was nearly tempted but knew it was a family matter at the moment and said with real appreciation. "Thanks I'll bear that in mind and see you tomorrow after lunch." He held the door for Jude to walk through but a sergeant who'd just answered the phone yelled Jude's name.

With a shrug Jude turned back to take the call muttering "Well, guess that's my tea in the bin again!"

Ricardo couldn't help his smile of sympathy as he left.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

Antonio knocked on the back of the rescue truck to signal they needed to stop and felt it pull over and stop. He helped Ben get out and looked over to see Casey walking quickly towards him looking very concerned and reassured him. "Its okay Ben wanted to walk" and smiled as he continued "so we could talk."

At Casey's look of surprise he added hastily. "He's still silent and is signing well but it's damn difficult for me to answer. He can't hear me and I can't think of the signs to make him understand. Frankly it's disturbing he can do it so well, of course it doesn't help the question was about Maria and Benjy. Warn Meg if she's beaten us and wish me luck I think I'm going to need it."

Casey smiled and nodded as they both watched their friend who while standing on the promenade was looking out across the bay and was hitching his bag onto his shoulder with an air that said 'let's get moving'. Understanding the body language Casey started to move back to the driver's side of the truck saying. "Hank's reserved a space right next to the Shock Wave bins so I'll be in the café bit as planned."

Antonio waved a salute and walked up to Ben who was still looking across the bay but in the direction they needed to go and they started to walk towards the Shock Wave. Trying hard not to stare as they walked Antonio pondered about Ben's memories and hoped if he was having them they were good ones and knew he needed to answer Ben's earlier question before they got too near the Shock Wave. Deciding to take the plunge he smiled at the aptness of the thought, which helped give lightness to his voice as he got ready to pass on what could be worrying news. "Ben, you asked about Maria and Benjy."

Since seeing the sea and knowing he was actually on the beach he'd walked along in his past the snapshots in Ben's mind had been flashing bits of information which didn't connect or make sense but made the pull … the need to see Meg stronger. There was, also a mixture of emotions breaking through with them and one of them was anxiety about being here on this promenade. He smothered it assuming it was just about him seeing his Meg. He knew there was only one and he'd left her but could not remember why. The murky light as the clouds started gathering after sunset made him edgy want to shut down … hid and sleep ...again he didn't know why or if it was just his natural being. He'd known he would miss sunset and that hadn't worried him once he'd remembered he was meeting Meg … Antonio's words brought him back to what he'd wanted to know while they were travelling and he turned his attention to him letting everything else drop into the background and disappear.

Antonio hoped Ben would accept the outline he was going to give, they could discuss details tomorrow after all tonight was for him and Meg and said. "They are fine but not living together." Relieved he just got a nod he carried on. "During Christmas morning Maria realised Benjy's connection with Derek was too hurtful, would and was causing friction between them. Benjy was understandably unsettled and wanted to be near Tess as she was his mother and not Maria … he was also coming to terms about his father as well … he still treasures the gifts he had from them.

Hank and Joan looked after him till Tess's sister and husband came over later that day. Charles contacted them immediately. They can't have children and were looking to adopt. The family Judge agreed they could look after Benjy with a view to actually adopting him later. They love him very much and he's settling down with them, new town, school and friends is a lot to get used to and he's turning into a very bright cheerful young lad. Hank and Joan still see him and keep in touch via cards and the odd phone call. He also visits Tess in jail and knows he can visit Derek's grave and Sunset Beach if he wants to, he came for the funeral but has not been back again. Tess pleading guilty to helping with kidnapping and deception charges without explaining anything and is away for 25 years with an appeal at 15 as there wasn't a trial and you weren't around the media frenzy ended very quickly."

As Ben listened he knew things concerning Derek, Benjy and Maria were in darkness and he could not push it, he'd just felt the need to find out how they were. Now though he wanted to know something for the future and signed his question knowing he could trust Antonio's answer.

Understanding the question Antonio thought for a moment about his sister's account of Benjy's reaction to Ben and hoped time had helped with the boy's understanding of events. He also knew Ben might not remember everything that had happened so said reassuringly. "Yes I'm sure he'll want to make contact with you. But I think we'll have to wait till both of you are really ready and take it very steady. I visited him once and keep in touch through his new parents so I'll contact them either tonight or in the morning and explain things it will also mean they hear it from me rather than the media should your return become news worthy. To give you privacy AJ is making sure nothing leaks out from here but you never know who might recognise you as you are out and about now."

Ben felt a slight shiver run through him as Antonio said the last bit and yet another part of him felt slightly settled that Benjy was all right and nodded his acceptance and was caught by a snapshot as a car went by.

Antonio knew he had to take the next obvious step as it was not coming from Ben and said. "Ben, Maria's visiting Sunset Beach do you want to see her at all."

Ben stopped and looked at Antonio knowing in that instant they both knew his relationship was with Meg now not Maria and shook his head the pointed to his wedding finger and drew a question mark in the air just above it confident his friend would understand the question.

Antonio had to smile even signing Ben was short and to the point and answered. "The divorce went through Christmas Morning as planned and she's remarried they live just outside Seattle and her husband is with her at the moment." he felt a ripple of tension build up across his shoulders wondering what reaction his words might trigger but relaxed as Ben gave a slight smile and a nod then walked on as before, looking out across the bay before coming back to look along the promenade towards the Shock Wave which was now very close.

Letting the comfortable silence settle Antonio felt slightly pleased Ben wasn't seeing his sister as it could've thrown up all sorts of problems. This way everyone would know where they stood … apart … And hopefully if Benjy could get over Ben's part in his father's death they might become Uncle and Nephew even with the distance in between. He knew Meg would be very happy with that situation and came out of his thoughts and looked ahead as they drew level with the Shock Wave and said. "Ben, you go and sit in the eating area I need to talk to the people up ahead. Casey's told Joan we are coming so she should be out in a moment if not wait till I come back. She knows what I want so you just have to sign it or point on the list what you want. Is that okay with you?"

Feeling the flip of anticipation of seeing Meg wash over his very mixed emotions and memories Ben nodded and turned towards the eating area.

Antonio was still torn as to whether he should leave Ben but he needed to see these people before they got any closer and saw Joan came out and called across to her. "Joan I'll be back in a moment I need to talk to some people coming this way."

Seeing her smile and nod he left them.

oxoxo

The outside eating area of the Shock Wave had been made as private as possible without actually closing it in. All but one of the tables were stacked to the side so people walked away from the area to get round them as well as a note on the far side of them explaining the area was closed but the other door could be used. Inside the café just behind the eating area the tables and chairs were stacked for cleaning so no one could sit there and Hank kept near the counter just in case someone didn't take the hint.

Having watched with nervous anticipation the pair come towards the Shock Wave Joan left Hank and Casey with a protesting Sara to come out and greet them. Hearing Antonio's words she smiled and nodded it was okay then turned her attention to Ben who was walking slowly towards her.

She didn't break her stride though she watched Ben careful just in case he didn't recognise her and saw she needn't have worried. In fact she felt a rush of warmth for him which showed in her smile and voice as she greeted him. "It's so good to see you Ben don't worry about your silence we understand." To her surprise she found herself walking into a welcoming hug which she tucked into and then before she got too emotional she said. "Come on how about food and tea, Meg's just trying to park the car, someone is moving out so it may take a moment."

Joan found herself gently released and looked into a gentle smile and nod, so led him to one of the chairs at the table so he would see Meg when she arrived. She stepped back and watched fascinated as Ben put his bag next to his seat with the strap in grabbing distance on his leg, then held her breath for a moment as he took his cap off and tucked it into the waistband of his jeans, she knew he only did this when he felt really safe and relaxed.

Her smile and welcome smothered all anxieties and as Ben hugged her he felt warm and totally safe. The feeling continued as he sat down and knowing this was where he wanted to be he turned to tell her what had been haunting him on and off all afternoon. But as he tried to tell her and nothing came … and he felt trapped and deeply frustrated.

Joan saw the attempt to speak and the gentle expression turn to frustration and said quickly to help him. "Knowing you were coming I've cooked spit chicken just how you like it. Meg and Antonio are having fries and veg as well as a mug of tea. Would you like the same?"

Ben managed half a smile with a nod. Ever since he'd managed to whisper to Antonio he needed to see Meg regardless, he'd had the taste and smell of the food drift in and out of his memories. Now he was going to taste it for real and really know he was here with them… with her.

Joan felt a glow that she'd been right and said gently "I'll bring Meg's tea as well I expect she's parked by now." And went to the doorway and passed the order to Hank, doing so she saw Casey was sitting with Sara and guessed if he came over Sara would to because she was in a pushy mood tonight.

She closed the door quickly knowing she needed to be with Ben till Antonio came back and went over to one of the extra chairs they'd left out knowing Ben didn't like to feel crowded but might company at some point and sat down. She'd always known Ben had layers of personality, she knew the guarded one who loved her daughter and worried about the silent stranger who'd done their garden. Now here was another one, one who wanted to give and receive a mother's hug and was total comfortable in her presence. She remembered that type of hug from her daughters when they came back from school, the hugs that said 'hi it's really good to be home, hope you've had a good day.' and then they would chat away over a drink and cookies … and the adventures of the day came out along with the little worries and she said gently. "Don't force anything Ben just let it come back naturally Meg really does understand and I'm happy you're back so is Hank."

Ben looked at her and something deep within him smothered his confusion and he knew he could say a couple of words which he hoped would convey everything he felt. "Thank you."

Joan smiled and couldn't help the gentle short soft happy laugh, those two words with the look of warmth in his eyes said and meant everything to her. He was back with all his caring gentleness and said warmly knowing he would want to know and understood her. "Meg knows she loves you, the person rather than the dream she once had. Don't dwell on the past Ben. She's grown up looking after your fortune and realises how much you care for her.

I won't deny she's been cross with you and herself for being so blind … but you know that's natural and you must have felt so frustrated with her when she walked out on you because she didn't trust her feelings or yours. That's gone; she knew you would come home when you were ready and we know something happened to stop you. The most important thing to us is that you are here now and safe. Enjoy this evening without guilt Ben and let it all come back slowly we will all be here to help you."

She smiled at his gentle "Thank you." And nod and got up knowing the teas would be ready and the food would there as soon as Meg came, it had been on standby … though if she'd received a shake of the head instead of a nod they would have prepared something else for him.

oxoxo

As soon as Joan opened the door Hank was there with a tray of three mugs of tea and as she took it caught a glimpse of a frustrated Casey and wondered why Sara was being so much trouble and hoped it was not guilt or jealousy.

Back at the table she sorted out the mugs of tea taking the third one for herself knowing Antonio could have a fresh one. As she didn't want Ben to think she was standing guard, even though she was she went back to her seat to have her drink. She took a sip and found it too hot and too hot to hold so bent over to put it on the floor beside her chair.

Ben nodded his thanks for the mug of tea in spite of the little shiver that ran through him and watched Joan put Meg's on the table then go and sit down. He put his hands round the mug feeling the warmth and familiarity of it all wash over him and took a sip of the hot liquid. The taste was familiar and suddenly his mind and body were on alert things cleared in his mind and he knew he'd made a terrible mistake coming here … he and Meg had to get away now!

As Joan came up from putting the mug on the floor she heard the noise of a mug being slammed onto the table. She looked over at Ben and immediately saw the change from relaxed to terrified but before she could do anything her attention was split two ways Meg had arrived and Hank was opening the door ready to hand her the plates of food so he could stay out of sight. She knew Meg would cope with Ben she needed to get the food and stop Hank coming any further though she'd needed Antonio he was Ben's rock at the moment.

She moved quickly and took the plates of food and called to Sara to get Antonio immediately hoping it would free Casey to come but also knew a rush of people would confuse things and Meg might be able to calm things down. Ben wanted to come here and see her and food would bring normality but something had happened to change that.

Meg came to a halt just inside the area seeing the fear written in Ben's face and attitude and said anxiously. "Ben! What is it?" her mind was still expecting to see the doctor trying to drag him away but it was only Ben and her mother, who was getting food for them.

Meg's voice slammed the important things into Ben's mind to the front the rest he'd have to sort out later and gasped out, "**Not safe!**" as he got up finding his bag and putting his cap on so it was well over his eyes and hunching down into his jumper, becoming the stranger … but also muttered, "**Should have died with Derek. Not safe Meg we must hide now!**" and walked round the table towards her adding. "No one must know Joan, make sure Benjy's safe."

Joan was goaded into action by the determination in Ben's voice and body language, she trusted this Ben and put the plates on the table turned back to the doorway and leant inside and grabbed two 'hot bags' they kept for takeaways giving Hank a short sharp "**Stay**". Then went back to the plates on the table and expertly and quickly slid the chicken and fries into the bags leaving the veg and sealed them.

While Joan was doing that Meg somehow managed to get her mind into gear realising that Antonio was not there and she needed to act, but also she had a car and Ben hated cars so said. "I'll get Antonio and Casey and we can go to the Mission and talk there."

Ben stopped beside Meg and said sharply. "Not Mission …not safe for Antonio or Casey … we can't be parted again Meg. **Drive me**."

She didn't need telling twice he was protecting her … them not running blind. "It's the black car third one along facing out." And flicked the key fob in her hand so the lights flashed on and the doors unlocked. She grabbed the food bags her mother was holding out and said to her. "I'll find somewhere safe and ring later tell Jude not to chase us." and rushed of after Ben.

Though Joan was shocked she noted that Ben was already getting in the back of the car and felt a hand on her shoulder with a gentle anxious. "Love what's wrong, want Casey to stop them?"

She leant against her husband wanting to feel his familiar support as she said. "No. Ben got scared Meg's going to look after him." She felt someone join them and knew it was Casey as Hank said "You should h…."

But that was interrupted by Sara and Antonio coming into the area and stopping.

Getting that sinking feeling knowing they had not seen Meg and Ben walk out onto the beach Antonio asked. "What happened to Ben Joan?"

Joan was not sure what to say and came out with, "He got scared and Meg's taken him for a drive."

Surprised and appalled Antonio exclaimed. "Joan he won't go near a car! He'll collapse! She will never get him out." and was realising Ben was already in the car because it … they weren't here.

Joan said softly concern washing over her. "Antonio he asked her to drive him. It happened so quickly.

"He was talking!" Antonio said in surprise and some alarm then asked "What did he say?"

Hank interrupted them, "We should tell Jude now!"

Joan exclaimed. "**But** he said no one must know and Meg doesn't want Jude to chase them. He was fine Antonio then suddenly he was terrified and said he should have died with Derek and it wasn't safe at the Mission or for you and Casey but didn't say why. I don't know if he knew."

Antonio's mind was racing as he found his phone and speed dialled Jude knowing it would get through where ever he was.

oxoxo

Jude was in the action of putting his hand up to open the door, his stomach growling because he'd still hadn't eaten and his mind consoling him he would eat soon all the problems had been dealt with. …. But his phone was ringing and now he wasn't sure what to do and was still hoping someone else would answer the phone only...it came from his pocket so what should he do first open the damn door or answer the damn phone.

He stepped back so the door to the Shock Wave café area would not hit him should someone come out in a rushing and answered the damn phone. Recognising ID number and Antonio's panicked voice interrupted him immediately saying. "I'm just going to open the door to the other entrance so be I'll there in a second." and killed the phone.

With the adrenaline rushing through him he marched into the Shock Wave and seeing a waitress at a table called out. "Police, at least one mug of tea with milk no sugar and some for the group outside front **now **please." And ignored the fact all the customers were looking at him, which he felt was good … it meant Ben had not thrown a wobbly in here just outside.

Jude opened the other door and looked at the group who'd turned towards him and took in the fact Ben was the only one missing and defiantly got that sinking feeling and said "One at a time what's happened and were is Ben."

Joan said quickly he didn't know anything. "With Meg in her car. You must let them drive to where ever they are going if you stop them Ben will close down and she'll never get him out the car. He asked her to take him he's not blindly running. He's thinking and scared."

Even before she'd finished talking Jude was back on his other phone using speed dial to the officers in the car hoping they were following Meg at a distance as ordered. It was immediately answered and he ordered. "Talk to me."

He listened and then answered. "Okay just follow at a safe distance you are their shadow make sure they are safe. Only move in if either of them are in danger then do so carefully remember hands where he can see them and talking only, even if it's one way and it takes all night. … He needs space and could be talking I'll get another team to you in awhile. … … yes on this number only and I'm with Antonio he's fine."

Closing the phone down Jude turned back to the group and said. "They are safe. Sit down, mugs of tea will be here in a minute and if you don't mind I'll have something easy to eat otherwise I'm not going get anything this evening." Looking at Antonio who was pale he added. "You need to eat as well he'll need your help tomorrow."

As everyone started looking for chairs Jude knew he needed to make this group smaller and said. "Only those in direct contact with Ben and Meg need stay, I'll explain what's going on and news later."

Casey immediately gently ushered Sara out before she could think of a reason to stay and as Hank started to leave Jude added "Hank if you see the Doctor from Cedar Oaks tell her to leave or she'll be arrested for harassment and **that's** official so you can all officers for back up."

Hank looked surprised but saw he wouldn't get anything else nodded and made way for the waitress with a tray of teas and told her to bring the extra ones back in immediately and they were closing up for the evening regardless.

oxoxo

Jude let the moment settle by taking a couple of sips of tea knowing the panic was over he needed facts. Seeing Antonio had taken a couple of sips from is tea he turned to address both of them saying gently but firmly. "I need to know everything that happened from the time he left the Rescue truck to the time he left. I take it you were both here?"

Antonio feeling immensely guilty shook his head then said slowly "No I left him for a moment, we'd agreed earlier that Casey would stay inside we didn't want to crowd him and thought Sara might be a problem. We didn't want to confuse things so Hank was going to stay out of sight as well and Joan would be our contact. As we arrived she came out into the area and he was fine about being left … … I had to stop the group of people from meeting him … you see I knew he didn't want to met them."

"He told you?" Jude asked knowing from reports Ben was silent but also he'd spoken to them just now.

Antonio took another gulp of tea so he could carry on, hoping it would relieve the knot in his throat; he'd been gone such a short time and it had gone horribly wrong. "Yes, signing not talking that was why we'd been walking along the prom, we had tried it in the truck but I could not answer back. He'd asked after Maria and Benjy so while walking I explained things and asked him if he wanted to see Maria he said no but he was happy she'd married. We walked on in comfortable silence each to our own thoughts as we came level with the Shock Wave I noticed a group ahead with Maria and Rodney in it and they were walking our way so I left him with Joan to head them off as he didn't want to see her."

Hank came in with Antonio and Jude's food and Jude nodded his thanks and pinched a couple of fries before he carried on. "That's okay you did the right thing, do you think Ben saw Maria and did she knew he was coming here?"

Antonio could not face food as he thought for a moment. "No and I doubt he recognised her I've noticed he sometimes takes awhile to register things … surroundings so it would be the same with people. His mind must have been full of memories they don't necessarily join up or make sense and he wasn't nervy as we walked so I guess they were good memories. I honestly doubt if the small group registered with him. It was only seeing Maria and Rodney join them that I realised the problem. They were walking this way and I knew Ben didn't want to see her and I thought it would be difficult if he did. Cause a trust problem … time is a problem with him. He was fine when I left Jude if he wasn't I would have got Joan to do it for me."

He looked at Joan for confirmation she nodded and said. "Ben was very relaxed and knew me enough to give me a hug; he'd sat down with his bag beside him and took off his cap off." She stopped realising Antonio needed to finish his side of things she could explain the rest later.

Antonio smiled wishing he'd seen the greeting and felt better so carried on. "When I went over to the group Maria was surprised to see me. I spoke to her away from the group and she admitted she'd recognised me and realised the cap and jumper figure must have been Ben and hadn't said anything to the others. They were going to use the crossing point to get to the Italian restaurant for a meal before seeing a show at the Theatre so they would not have got as far as us. Spur of the moment choice of parking two spots were vacant its easier and free, otherwise they would have used the car park further on. I'd just finished talking to her when Sara came up and said Joan was a bit worried could I come. Maria promised not to say anything to the others knowing we wanted Ben's presence kept quiet, Sara and I came back quickly and found Ben had already gone with Meg and he was talking."

Jude nodded finishing the mouthful of food he'd started eating as Antonio finished talking and said reassuringly "Don't blame yourself Antonio; you did the right thing, calling out to Maria would have made things difficult and even explaining to Joan might not have worked. I suspect Ben's memories got mixed up there must have been an awful lot of them, hopefully he will sleep soon and Meg can ring us and then we can pick things up from there. I must admit when I saw your id I thought the Doctor from Cedar Oaks was trying to get Ben and it had gone wrong."

"Oh No." Joan said quietly.

Jude smiled to reassure them both. "Its okay Joan she can't actually take Ben, Tyus and I have managed to foil that one for now, but I must admit if this gets out it will reinforce her reasons for having him somewhere safe … they were way too close for comfort. I know it's difficult but I need to know that he was thinking when he left, Joan said he was not running blind so his exact words might help us get an idea of what memories he was working from."

He saw Joan shift in her seat and added. "I need your complete confidence on this Joan so I'm going to promise you that what you say now will not go any further unless you think it is safe to do so. Also we are going to act as though Ben is still at the Mission so there will be restrictions there, a police car outside and if anyone asks it's a case no comment and refer them straight to us. I'm on his side."

Antonio asked quietly. "Will that include Maria and Carman?"

"Yes **everyone**, only I and the police officers shadowing him will know where he is, this thing is out in the open now and I don't want any of you telling lies or being trick into telling the media where he is. So if you think you know where they are forget it and that will mean Sara and Casey as well Hank, Joan. I'll tell them later if I think its right."

Joan and Antonio nodded and Antonio exclaimed. "Damn" Jude looked at him and he carried on. "Ben's pills he needs them and he's not good at taking them."

Jude smiled and noticed Antonio was getting more relaxed. "Hand them over and I'll get them to him when I know where he is and I'll have a word with Tyus about it. Now eat while I get Joan to tell me everything."

Antonio nodded and got the bottle of pills and handed them over and Jude turned his attention to Joan who was looking very unsure of herself.

Jude looked at her and said gently understanding how she would be feeling. "Joan I really need to know."

She knew she could trust these two but she could still hear the desperations in Ben's voice and he thought silence from her would protect them… but would it. She nodded and sighed knowing it was possible it was just his muddled memories, he and Meg were safe and were together and said. "He said no one must know and he wanted me to protect Benjy but didn't say against who or what … I'm not sure he knew otherwise I think he would have said. Jude he knew Derek was dead, he said he should have died as he did."

Jude took his pad out and wrote understanding Joan's worry now and said. "Okay its most probably mixed up memories and guilt over Derek's death Joan but we'll work with it as he'll need to be reassured that Benjy is safe. Now we don't want to worry Benjy so I'll have a chat with the local officer he knows about Benjy's past see what he thinks. I'll ring his new parents and explain might even suggest they take Benjy away for a couple of days."

Antonio added. "When he was signing to me I told him I'd make contact he wanted Benjy to know he was around I explained it might take awhile I don't think Ben remembers Benjy's hostile behaviour towards him."

Jude nodded. "Okay I'll ring them later. Right Joan from when he walked into the eating area what happened exactly."

Joan nodded and started to tell them everything.


	23. Chapter 23

Thanks Dakota nice to know you are still with me.

Sorry to everyone about the delay ... Computers are lovely but ours went down from the 1st March and had hiccups right the way through till yesterday when we took it in to the experts and it got a clean out. Now it's back with new parts and is better... hopefully. (of course its a bit like Ben no memory!)

On with the story.

**Chapter 23**

Meg found she felt very calm as she drove away from the Shock Wave, even though her mind was racing trying to figure out what the hell had happened back there and were she was actually meant to be going. On instinct she'd joined the traffic flow following it along the seafront and eventually out of town rather than crossing it to drive into town to find Tyus or go to her parents' house as places of help or quiet refuge.

Glancing in the mirror to check what was behind her she could also see Ben with his bag clutched to his chest snuggled into the corner of the back seat as though he was trying to disappear into it. Their eyes met briefly because his baseball cap was now tipped back and she could tell he hated the ride and guessed seeing her was helping him cling onto consciousness. … That was good because if he went under now there was no way she could drag him anywhere and him waking up in the car if his past attitude was anything to go by would not be pretty for either of them.

Not wanting to dwell on that she went back to consciously concentrating on the traffic and another way of keeping his attention …singing … nope no way … talking … would be good even if it was just her ... he was too out of it for answers. … Perhaps if she talked she might even sort out where she was actually taking him. On the drive over she'd been planning to leave that type of decision to Antonio and or Casey had the need arose … the three or four of them on the run … but now it was just Ben and her … and she didn't even know what they were running from ... whether it was real or imagined or if he even knew now.

Her voice caught as she started to talk her thoughts and started with a sort of order. "**Ben** … I need you to stay awake … I can't get you out the car otherwise. … I've got to decide where's safe to stay, can't take you to our new house everyone will expect that … Dad's garden is out neighbours are too damn nosy, though the gazebo would be good for you to sleep in. Sara and Casey's well she'd never give you any peace, Tyus nope too obvious. … So where?"

She thought silently while she sorted out the hold up at the junction and decided to keep to the main road. Getting clear of the mess she glanced in the mirror and saw his eyes starting to close and said sharply suddenly inspired. "**Ben!** Come on **Ben** stay with me. Think of the food you've got to eat before you sleep … try that mantra Antonio heard when the firecrackers went off …Okay?"

She saw a slight nod and hoped he'd somehow managed to kick into second gear and realised where to take him and said. "**Good**... We are going to the garden centre just outside town … loads of open space with places to tuck in for shelter and I'm going to stay with you regardless. It will be fine. We've technically bought it … verbally done the evening you arrived here … luckily most of the staff will stay. Mind you the actual change over will take another couple weeks or so as we need to find a new manager to run the centre. Ironically it was your scribbled ideas to Charles on how to run the centre including a sideline as a halfway house that persuaded the family not to sell to the developers … …"

As Meg chatted on about the garden centre she was mindful as to what she was saying and how she was driving. After the last things she wanted were for him to have panic attack over something she said, a bad tempered driver on their tail or of course a noisy flashing police car pulling them over because she'd done something wrong. There was also a niggle in the back her mind a police car would pull them over because of the confusion they'd left back at the Shock Wave.

It seemed an age to her before they cleared the town and the road got easier … fewer cars and junctions, which was good. But now she'd run out of to say to keep his attention and hoped the silent mantra was working. … She reckoned something was working his eyes hadn't closed but he was expressionless so who could tell if he was thinking or not and kept a steady pace.

She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw the sign to the garden centre and said as she quickly glanced in the mirror again to check him. "We are nearly there Ben … just think of getting out the car and eating tea when we stop … I know I'm starving." That was true she'd not eaten much lunch hadn't felt like it … then cursed silently seeing Jenny's car pull out of the centre's lay-by entrance a car in front of them. Desperately trying to think of another plan of action she realised Jenny was in fact closing the gate and guessed her husband must have been driving the car. She tooted hard on the horn hard to get her attention hoping she might recognise the car in spite of the dusk and let them in then ask questions after the gate was closed. Coming up to the lay-by she turned in as a demand they were coming rather than a question of can we please come in or be mistaken as someone just using the lay-by, she wasn't too sure about Ben's reaction to her stopping on the side of the road bearing in mind he didn't seem to like enclosed spaces.

The unmarked police car that had been carefully following them drove on round her and past the garden centre entrance and then pulled into another lay-by further on and turned round so they had a view of what was going on and killed its lights. The officers were already sizing up whether it was the best place to stay the night to watch over their charges without being observed by anyone else and debating when to report in to the boss. … Now as things were happening or in a while when they thought the couple had been accepted and were settled for the night. Both had good and bad points … either way they knew it would be by phone not over the radio... the radio was no longer safe because outsiders could well be listening in so they had to make sure they had a signal.

oxoxo

At the long toot on the horn Jenny looked round and was then blinded momentarily by its headlights when the car started to turn into the lay-by and muttered crossly to herself. "This is not a public lay-by nor am I at every very latecomer's beck and call especially now. You can damn well come back in the morning!" But stepping to one side not only to get out of the glare but to finish closing the gate to make her point they were unavailable Jenny recognised Meg as the driver.

She quickly re-opened the gate and waved Meg through with a mock bow knowing there would be a lift back to the house and good chat. So perhaps her husband forgetting his keys had not been so bad after all, and then hoped Meg was not bringing bad news about the deal or about what she'd read in the newspaper that afternoon. When shutting the gate behind the car she realised Meg was not alone and found her heart racing in anticipation at who might be her back seat passenger and guessed why they'd had been chosen as a refuge.

Getting in beside Meg Jenny looked back towards the passenger and said softly and with genuine friendship, "Ben, how lovely to see you." then turning back to Meg and buckling up and asked with concern. "Trouble at the Mission already?"

"Sort of! But how did you know he's back?" Meg exclaimed in surprise, not only at her knowing he was around but also the warmth in her voice, there'd no mention of a friendship yesterday. But they knew his business reputation and they'd been friendly towards her enough for her to come now…

Jenny gave a gentle laugh and said. "From one of the freebee papers that are delivered here, I'm guessing it's out of Liberty Corp's control. Small front page article saying Ben was back in Sunset, silent, has no memory and panicked or not is a danger to himself and anyone else around so should be in Cedar Oaks for treatment and not at the Mission for a rest. Sorry Ben" she added apologetically knowing how unfair it was to the man and Father Antonio.

"**Oh****Hell!**" Meg exclaimed then quickly checked back on Ben via the mirror and realised he didn't seem to be taking anything in and explained briefly. "Something spooked him so he does not feel its safe at the Mission with Antonio so we need shelter for the night. He's going to shut down in a minute and I won't be able to get him out the car if he does. He's not going to harm anyone Jenny especially if he's got safe space around him."

Jenny quickly understood her fears but as she'd known Ben a lot longer than Meg she said with confidence. "Drive on down. Its okay, I know he won't harm us. We've got rooms in the house or you can have one of the chalets."

Driving on Meg explained in a rush. "He doesn't like being shut in … so something with a cover and without a door or something that has big opening windows might be good. It's trial and error at the moment. I need to be near him and I haven't got any clothes and don't know what he's got." Suddenly realising that sounded so wrong she hastily added. "We planned a meal not…"

Jenny chuckled wickedly and interrupted softly. "You can keep digging out of that hole if you like it sounds interesting." Meg laughed and Jenny carried on slightly more seriously. "Drive past the main buildings and over to the chalets. Make for the one at the far end with the van parked nearby … go behind the van and the car will be out tucked of sight. I assume you want peace and quiet."

Relieved Jenny was taking it so well and could feel her support was real Meg answered truthfully. "Yes and he doesn't want anyone to know we are here. I've got some food in the bags on the floor for tonight."

"Umm I can smell it and it's making me hungry so it must be good." Jenny said and then turning round as best she could so she could see her old friend added. "Ben you okay back there. Nod or shake your head."

Seeing a bit of a nod, though his gaze was fixed straight ahead she carried to reassure him and Meg. "Good, the chalet has downstairs bathroom, kitchen come dining lounge area with a bedroom next door both have large glass patio doors out into the garden area. No one will know you are in there as the windows on this side have been boarded up … the upstairs ones are okay." With a cheeky grin as she turned back to face Meg she then added. "We thought the new owners could deal with that little problem later … the others were going to flatten them so it would not matter."

Meg felt her nerves relax and parked the car saying. "Gee thanks Jenny what other little hidden secrets are there."

Jenny laughed as she got out. She'd put the food bag on the seat deciding Ben might want to get out really quickly, if he didn't like buildings he certainly wouldn't stay in the car any longer than necessary. As she closed her door she called over to Meg. "None and it is only a small problem …a five minute job really. **But** we can try and find a few more if you like. I'll help Ben as I'm his side, you grab the bags and lock up." and opened his door.

In the back of the car Ben was feeling confused and decidedly woozy in spite of the mantra he'd been using … it had not about Antonio that one had been forgotten along with its reason … it was about food and Meg and being safe. His emotions and memories were mixing and tumbling with bits disappearing and as he only partly understood what the two ladies were saying he relied on his instinct to guide him. He trusted Meg's judgement implicitly and though he'd not recognised Jenny he understood by her tone and actions she was a friend not a foe. When the car stopped he needed to get out quickly before it all crowded in on him so he was ready when the door was opened and ignored the helping hand. To accept it meant he would have had to let go of his bag and he knew he would never do no matter what happened and got out unsteadily and started to cough.

Jenny was not offended by Ben's guarded attitude so stepped back to give him space. Once she saw he was getting out okay she went to open the garden gate knowing time might not be on their side where he was concerned. She was also starting to accept her curiosity would have to wait until tomorrow, which would be hard but not impossible.

Grabbing her handbag and food bags Meg got out the car and hearing Ben's coughing fit exclaimed. "**Damn** his medicine is with Antonio, it's a chest infection getting better but he needs to finish the course." Knowing she couldn't do anything about it she'd locked the doors and walked round to him. As the coughing fit ended she took his arm and with gentle words of encouragement she guided him over to the gate.

As the couple joined her Jenny led the way to the chalet saying. "I'll get some home made cough brew it works wonders and I can creep into town to collect the medicine from whomever in the morning if you wish. The garden's a wilderness Ben so feel free to work your magic if it helps you to relax … tools are in the shed and we'll put any plants etc on the tab and sort it out later."

"Right." Meg said slowly ending with a slight laugh … it was getting complicated old and new owners together before change over, not to mention her silent 'stranger' and his problems.

Jenny smiled at Meg's tone realising she needed to be careful about what she said for all their sakes and carried on in a matter fact tone. "There are twin beds in the bedroom, we can move one near the door which can be left open so Ben can feel as though he's outside. The furniture in the dining area can be left outside as well, just bring the cushions in at night or if it rains. There's a phone near the stairs in case you need it, flick the heating on if you want to, the controls are in the kitchen area and are simple to use. There are two bedrooms and a shower room and toilet upstairs. The downstairs bedroom also links through into next door, which has the same layout but we use it as bedrooms and storerooms the third chalet is empty. Sheets are fresh as we use the rooms for sleepovers, which usually happen at an hour's notice. As you can see we have nightlights in the garden so none of the kids trip up in the dark if they or we need to come over I don't think it will disturb you in the bedroom without the curtains drawn. The hedge will give you privacy and it's fields behind anyway. The oldest is on a sleepover in town so we are safe from invasion and the other one is deep in homework."

She unlocked and opened the glass doors to the dinner/lounge then walked along the path to the bedroom and opened that door and then stood back so Meg and Ben could catch up and go in or look in if they wanted to.

Feeling Ben stop and shiver Meg let go of his arm and made sure she had eye contact with him and looked into his blank expression and said gently, calmly and firmly, though she didn't feel it. "Ben, hold the food bags and stay here. Don't forget you need to eat before you go to sleep. I'm going to help Jenny move the bed then come back for you and we'll sit on the chairs in the doorway of the other room and eat the food Mum gave us."

She saw his slight nod and made sure he held the food bags tightly before leaving him.

Giving the room a quick glance round to register where everything was Meg then put her handbag on the bed and helped Jenny move the other bed. She reckoned the room was all right and as soon as they'd eaten Ben would sleep so now would be the only time to move it and hoped he would be okay.

oxoxo

Outside Ben gripped the food bags knowing he didn't want to go in that room and was spiralling towards shut down, so was losing his grasp as to why he wanted to get Meg away from the Shock Wave. Intertwined with all this was the feeling he'd promised some one, some when, he would explain everything when he woke. As he tried to push for who and when as well as to keep the other images he was losing he shivered violently and drew back knowing he would blackout and cause Meg even more pain. His rumbling stomach reminded him he was hungry and remembering he was carrying food bags and he needed to eat before he slept he lost his other thoughts.

Meg and Jenny had just finished putting the bed near to the doorway when they saw Ben shiver and then sway. Going to him immediately hoping he would not collapse on them because he needed to eat to keep his strength up Meg put her hand on his arm and gently but firmly told him what she wanted him to do.

Jenny didn't follow Meg outside instead she took the inside route and got there before them having flicked on the inside lights and picked up scissors from the kitchen area. She also just had time to push two chairs into the doorway leaving the third just behind and between them so she could sit with them, to be there if needed as she reckoned time had run out for Ben.

To her surprise Meg found Ben easy to guide to the chairs and when he sat down she made sure the strap of his bag was still over his arm as it rested beside the chair before taking the food bags from him. She put one food bag on the other chair and grabbing the scissors Jenny held out cut Ben's food bag open so it made a plate for the food and put it on his lap. Seeing the automatic reaction the smell and sight of food had on Ben she made sure he ate a few bites before she picked up her own food bag and sat down the cut it open and handed the scissors back to Jenny to deal with. As she started to eat her food Meg found the familiar taste ground her … panic was over. They'd found their safe haven … had not been stopped by police officers, which most probably meant her mother or Antonio or even Jude had stopped them …and most of all Ben was calmly eating not sleeping.

As Jenny returned to her seat she smiled half wondering if she dared pinch a couple of fries but resisted the temptation and said. "Meg, regarding the phone by the stairs lift the receiver and press Green button 1 and you'll get the house, try there out of hours, Green button 2 is the shop, someone is there 9 in the morning till about 6 at night tell them you want me I'll make sure I'm within calling distance. Otherwise it's a line straight to the outside world and you can ring who ever you want to, but only the house or shop can ring in so any calls will be from hubby or me, no one else. I'll be back in about five to ten minutes with Ben's drink and clothes, Mum and Dad won't say a word to anyone and hubby's not back for a couple of hours and he'll be fine about it so don't worry. As for tomorrow we can put up a stock taking sign or members only one to restrict customers. We have a couple of long distance coaches coming but they will be easy to regulate if need be."

Meg who had a mouthful food nodded her thanks and Jenny then walked round to the bedroom to use that doorway and then left them to their meal.

oxoxo

Ben felt strange as he ate the food … it was satisfying his hunger and that woozy feeling … tasting the flavours in the chicken he knew they were familiar … special ... cooked that way for him. That recognition drove some of the confused images out of his mind and brought a kind of warmth and settled feeling to it. That feeling went deeper and took away the coldness down his spine that had crashed in on him earlier, although he couldn't remember what or why just knew it had. As he carried on eating he realised the lady name Jenny had left them and would return with a drink later.

One of the times when he looked up knowing Meg was glancing at him from time to time he saw her smile. Seeing it swept everything else out of his mind and brought to the surface the knowledge she loved him and trusted him. Knowing he could not speak but wanting to reassure her all right … they were all right, he kept his eyes on her and nodded then went back to his meal. It was too good to let get cold and if he ate his Meg would eat hers and that was important to him. Tasting the familiar flavours in the chicken again drove those thoughts away and brought back that warm settled feeling he had when he'd eaten this type of food in the past, though the history of it didn't come he did understand he was safe with this lady called Meg.

As he ate the last bite of food he realised he had greasy fingers and needed the bathroom and glanced across at Meg questioningly hoping she would look up and understand his need as he could not speak to her.

While eating Meg couldn't help glancing at Ben ever so often… sort of checking he was still there that this wasn't a dream or nightmare and smiled at her thoughts this time. … They were the fact this was the best meal she'd had in ages … she was with Ben and he trusted her completely … she'd seen it in his eyes as he'd said the words "Drive me." She'd let him down in the past but not now … not ever again. Realising Ben had caught her glance and smile she hesitated before looking away not expecting any reaction from him and felt a warm tingle of love run through her as he nodded to her. It was not just any nod his eyes were sparkling with love and reassurance … as if telling her he was okay … her Ben was in there and okay. Because he went straight back to eating she did the same not wanting any lingering look to embarrass or confuse him because she instinctively knew the moment was over ... gone but hopefully not forgotten ... not by her anyway.

Not long afterwards she sensed he needed her attention just as she had in her father's garden and glanced at him. She was right and seeing his questioning look understood his need and saw he was that trusting silent stranger again … her Ben had disappeared. Confident he would return again sometime Meg pointed in the right direction saying calmly. "Bathroom's beyond the kitchen area and just past the stairs don't think you can miss it Ben."

As got up Ben screwed up the food bag into a ball then hitched his bag onto his shoulder and then started to walk into the room Meg could see from his body language he was anxious about it and wondered if he would close down on her. His fear of buildings being greater than his need and hoped he would not collapse in the bathroom ... probably not he'd managed the washroom at the Mission after all. Knowing he needed her she finished her last bit of chicken and went after him saying. "Its okay Ben I'll be close by."

Seeing his nod she walked with him and left the food bags on the counter in the kitchen area and then gave him the privacy he needed. She relaxed when he joined her in the hallway and saw he needed to get out immediately so said gently and reassuringly. "Ben I need the bathroom as well so wait by the chairs for me I shan't be long." Seeing his nod she left him.

Job done she walked across the lounge area to join Ben, glad he was standing by the patio door looking out into the garden instead of wandering off or was a heap on floor as she'd feared and wondered what to do now. Jenny wasn't back with the promised drinks yet and Ben had had his food so might want to sleep and she didn't want that.

As if answering her unasked question she saw Ben push the nearest chair to him further away from the building and then sit down in it, without a backward glance. Making her wonder if looking out into the garden was the only thing on his mind, which was fine by her as they could about still see things because of the nightlights. Taking the other chair she set it down close to him not wanting to crowd him but wanted him to know she was still there and as she sat down she realised just how quiet it was … just like back on the farm in Kansas and it had been the house lights across a well maintained garden not a wilderness as this one.

Looking up at the dark sky she saw the stars and suddenly felt alone and the enormity of the problem now people would be sleeping … daylight always seemed to make things look better. That feeling along with questions that couldn't be answered because Ben couldn't provide them even if he could talk ran through her mind. There was also the promise she'd made her mum to ring when she'd settled … should she … they could be fugitives from the law or that dread doctor … and her ringing could mean all this was in vain. Calls can be traced even without her mother's knowledge. And yet she wanted to ring her mum put both their minds at rest … she needed to her voice know what was going on in town…

The opening and closing of the garden gate made them both jump and look over in that direction. Meg realising that Ben might not remember who it was said reassuringly. "Ben, it's Jenny with the clothes and cough drink for you. You stay here and I'll go and help her with that pile of bags."

Seeing his nod she got up and left him.

After silent smiles of greeting Jenny off loaded one bag onto Meg and explained as they walked back together. "Thanks, glad to see things are okay. That one has bits and pieces you might need as well as a tracksuit each to sleep in. It will be chilly with the door open and you might need to walk around as well. There is also a shawl you can use if you want to sit and read before going to bed. Ben might not need a tracksuit as I expect he's got things in his bag as he clung to if for dear life when getting out the car. Seeing him walk around with it seems to be part of him. He might just sleep in what he wears anyway.

In mine there is a carton of milk, packet of tea and a jar of and coffee, the squashes etc in the fridge are unopened and fresh enough to use if you want something different. There's food in the freezer such as ice cream, home made tv dinners, fruit pies and chunks of meat and veg if you feel like cooking. It's a second store for the restaurant area so it's all good stuff. Last but not least is a flask of mother's brew, its hot milk and herbs with an added something. I'll get a mug for you Ben in a moment."

Realising she was talking to him Ben nodded and as things were tumbling through his mind again he got up, hitched his bag on his shoulder and walked up the garden path into the wilderness.

Jenny and Meg shrugged wondering what was going on in his mind before going into the chalet to sort things out. With the odd glance out into garden to check on Ben Meg quickly dealt with the things Jenny had given her and then joined her out by the chairs. Jenny had added an extra one and a small table from the lounge and was putting the tray of drinks on the table. Hearing Meg's gentle chuckle and seeing she was looking at the highly decorated mugs and not Ben Jenny huffed good-naturedly disowning the mugs. "Kids' not mine … something about independence of choice." Then added seriously. "Are you going to call him?"

Meg nodded and called Ben's name expecting him look round and come back to them and got no response, so called again hoping he'd not forgotten them completely.

This time Ben turned slowly to face them and to Meg the nightlight seemed to highlight the puzzled expression on his face reminding her of the first time she'd seen him on the beach by South Pier at sunset. Her mind then had been full of the legend of seeing your soulmate on that part of the beach when the moon was in the sky as the sun was setting. He had walked past her as she'd sat under the palm tree and she'd had thought him interesting… good looking so carried on watching him as he'd walked on down to the seashore and saw him stop and look back in her direction with a puzzled expression on his face. To her he looked as though he'd just felt a tug of something unseen and unknown and looking round was well looking for it but not seeing it … anything unusual turned back to walking away from her. Had she'd moved then she wondered would they would have talked … it didn't matter … they'd found each other eventually. She wondered if it had been two soulmates unconsciously recognising each other as soulmates but neither of them consciously knew what it was … now though it was one knowing and one unknowing or unconsciously knowing like it had been back then and it caused her heart to flip and made it difficult for her to breath.

With his mind full of confused images Ben had heard the first call but wasn't sure it was anything to do with him so ignored it. At the second call he knew it was for him and looked round to see who was calling hoping he would recognise them now he realised he was not alone. As he looked at the two women he gradually realised he knew one and a coughing fit stopped him walking towards them or acknowledging her.

His coughing broke the spell for Meg and she found she could breath enough to call out. "Ben! Jenny's got you a drink that will help ease your cough."

Ben stood for a moment getting his breath back then nodded and walked towards them, as he walked he knew both women and that he needed the drink. Sitting down in the chair furthest away from the chalet and table he took the drink Meg gave him knowing he trusted her and took a sip.

Satisfied Ben was all right and would not want her hovering over him … not matter how much she wanted too … Meg got her drink and went over to her chair and sat down. As she started to drink it she found it calming, realising she wasn't really alone. ... Jenny who must be itching with all sorts of questions was quietly drinking her cup of tea … giving them her silent support. And Ben … well … he'd not blacked out on her or forgotten them … if he had just then he'd got things back under control … knew he could trust her … them … and that must be a good thing ... surely.

Drinking the warm soothing concoction Ben found memories of a similar drink he'd at the Mission along with other brief snapshots of Father Antonio cut into the tumbling confusion in his mind. By the time he finished the drink he knew what he was going to do next and handed his empty mug to Jenny who was nearest the table saying. "Thank you, need to sleep now."

Jenny just managed to keep hold of the mug in spite of her surprise at being spoke to and saw the flash of amazement in Meg's expression as well.

Without realising the effect he had on them Ben got up and put his bag on his shoulder then looked at Meg and though he didn't know why, just that he had spoilt their evening and had separated her from her family he said gently. "Sorry " then turned and walked along the path to the bedroom knowing that was where he would sleep tonight.

Ben had only taken a couple of strides away from them before Meg got over her amazement and then the shock of hearing the deep sadness in the "sorry" he'd said. And was out of her chair following him, knowing he should not take the blame for whatever was going through his muddled memories or mind at the moment. When she got up to him she put her hand on his arm stopping him in his tracks and said gently but insistently. "Ben, don't be sorry … I love you and want to be with you … whatever else you forget remember that."

She saw the gentleness in his eyes and got a nod instead of words.

Even though she would have loved to have stayed, saw what happened and asked the thousands of question that were in her mind Jenny knew it was time to leave and got up saying so they could hear. "Meg, I'll come over in the morning with fresh eggs, bacon and bread. But ring any time if you need me."

Meg glanced back at Jenny and smiled knowing she really meant 'any time' and said. "Thank you."

As they watched Jenny walk towards the gate Meg felt Ben gently take her hand and when they were alone she said gently hoping that their connection would not disturb him too much. "Come on sleepy head lets find your bed." and walked with him along the path to the other doorway. Getting closer to the bedroom Meg felt Ben hesitate so she stopped him and said gently with a slight tease hoping it would help him. "Think of it as a big decorated porch and this time the bed has springs."

He gave a short laugh and they looked at each other in surprise then he continued his voice faint but loving. "You need to tell your mother you are safe. I'm sorry I don't understand my fear."

She smiled at his concern remembering this was just like him and how she never realised it and said gently. "I will later and you don't need to push yourself to understand your fear everything will come back eventually and I will be here to help you. You are safe here and you know that." Suddenly her emotions swamped her and she said without thinking. "And one day you'll carry me over a threshold as Mrs Evans." As soon as the words left her lips she wondered if she had lit the fuse for a big explosion … collapse … melt down … everything had so many memories and meanings.

She saw a nod and a smile with a very quiet "Some when" and she felt her hand gently released as he walked towards his bed. She knew the moment had gone and everything except the need for sleep was forgotten and wasn't sure whether she was pleased or not. She knew one thing she would wait till was asleep before she left him and said. "I've put some night things on the bed for you as I didn't know if you had any in your bag. I'll put chairs away and then sleep in the other bed so wake me if you need me."

Meg decided to stay near the doorway rather than coming in, he could look out of the room to her and also know she was not blocking his exit. She saw his nod and watched him slip the bag off his shoulder as he sat on the edge of the bed, and realised Jenny was right it was part of him and that he'd lost his cap and had not noticed it. She wondered if that was a good sign he was relaxed here he didn't need it and wouldn't wander away if woke in the night. Or was he so mixed up he didn't know he'd lost his cap or had it and didn't know he could leave if he wanted to. Thinking back she reckoned the cap must still be in the car and she would get it later when he was asleep. If he asked she'd tell him and then go and get it but she would not bring it up and disturb his train of thought.

Seeing the tracksuit lying on the bed it seemed natural to Ben to change into it so he took his jumper and shirt off and put them in his bag so he'd know where the were. Taking no notice of the chill he then went to take his jeans off and stopped and looked at the tracksuit bottoms and decided against them … he felt comfortable in his jeans so they would stay. Having seen the clean sheet and pillow he knew he could not sleep with his shoes on so bent down to take them off and was going to put them in his bag when he felt someone sit beside him and heard her gentle voice.

As Ben took off his shoes Meg came closer and saw the scars on his back, and realised they were the ones Tyus had mentioned and worrying about them sat beside him and unknowingly voiced the last to words of her thoughts. " … your back?"

He looked at her puzzled not understanding the two words he had heard.

Meg realised she'd said something out loud and asked. "You've got some scars do they hurt?"

He shook his head trying to remember them not getting any thought still puzzled asked "Where?"

Meg gently traced them with a mixture of worry and enjoyment. She loved the feel of his muscles reacting to her touch but worried about the scars one they thought was from the basement and Seattle the other she didn't know both of them said pain to her.

He turned his head and looked her and said softly. "No but that's nice... familiar."

She laughed and stopped and took her hand away knowing things could go over 'that' line and neither of them wanted that and said. "Don't worry about it and you need to sleep."

Ben nodded and said. "Okay"

From the tone she knew the subject was closed even forgotten because he'd gone back to putting his shoes in his bag then fastening it and was putting the tracksuit top on. When he done that he handed her the tracksuit bottoms with a shake of his head and she knew he was silent now as well.

Even though she found this in and out of knowing things and talking a bit creepy she smiled as she took them and to reassure him said. "It's okay if you feel like keeping your jeans on." And smothered a giggle as she realised that sounded **so** bad and watched him just nod and then wrapped the strap of his bag round his wrist and clutch his bag to his chest. Quickly realising she might be in the way she got up and watched him shift over so he could lay down on his side and half curl round his bag and his head resting on the pillow. She was amazed he'd worked it all out without seeming to and knew he was ready to sleep.

She had folded the thick blanket and sheet at the bottom of the bed in case he'd wanted to sleep with just the coat covering him. She knew Antonio had managed to get him to sleep with a blanket and the coat on top, she didn't think she could force him to do that. He would have to make up his own mind see the choices and make them and by the looks of things he didn't want or didn't remember his coat and hadn't touched the blanket. Seeing him lying there, it all suddenly reminded her of her mother when she put Sara down for a sleep and would pull the cover up for her and knew what to do and asked gently. "Would you like the sheet and blanket to cover you?"

She got a nod and with half a smile took them and gently covered him up to his shoulders. As she folded them down she could not help bending down and gently kissing him on his forehead it seemed so natural.

Ben felt a warm loving sensation ripple through him as she kissed him then shifted his position slightly so he could see her better as she moved after it. He saw her eyes were bright and loving and different impressions tumbled quickly through his mind. Bringing his free hand out from under the bedclothes he gently touched her face and feeling her warmth and gentleness heard echoes of her calling his name as he'd held the white rose he'd cut for her and said with full feeling. "I love you Meg."

Meg could feel all her emotions swamp her and knew what to do saying gently reassuringly, "I know sweetheart. Now go to sleep." and then bent down again and kissed him this time on the lips. Though it was a gentle butterfly kiss that took seconds it was received with as much love as it was given and she knew it was all right. As she broke the kiss and straightened up Ben tucked his hand under the bedclothes and turned his head so he could sleep and closed his eyes.

Hoping he would remember that kiss and still feeling warm from the kiss and his words she watch him wondering what it was like to switch off to sleep like that. She waited a moment longer and then decided she would get his cap in case he needed it if he woke. Finding her keys she dashed out to the car and found it and dashed back but walked quietly into the room. She knew he'd moved and wondered where she should put the cap and decided to try and tuck it into his bag. Very carefully she moved the bedclothes back and tucked the cap into the top of the bag and then tucked him in. She watched him knowing he'd not moved through the whole thing and resisted the growing temptation to kiss him and left him.

Quietly she put the chairs and table back, closed the door and made sure she knew where everything was. Then she checked Ben again before washing etc and changing into her tracksuit for the night and sat on her bed leaving the bedside light on. She made herself comfortable and had to be satisfied she could only the hump of Ben's body as he was facing away from her. Staying quiet she realised she could hear his breathing and knew that was all right and phone her phone and knowing all the pros and cons she dialled.

On pick up she smiled and said softly. "Hi Mum I won't get you into trouble if we talk. … … So we are not being chased that's good. Can't speak too loudly Ben's asleep. We are safe and fine, he knows me on and off and I'm not going to tell you where are ….

oxoxo

Meg finished her long phone call and looked across the room and quietly got out of bed wrapping the shawl around her, partly to keep the chill out and partly because she wanted something around her to hug. She checked on Ben as she walked by him and saw he was okay and then leant against the door frame and looked out beyond the garden nightlights and saw the stars twinkling down at her. Her thoughts were churning with all the information her mother had given her and she shivered as her mind grabbed the thought that the jailer might be behind the last email … the man was faceless … no had too many disguises to pin down and was still out there. They'd been right in their assumption the mail had been perfectly timed whether Ben was around or not. Her hopes had been buoyed up in anticipation of his coming home or just the next mail to explain exactly when and where they would meet. Then of course her hopes would have been dashed by the silence or because Ben hadn't turned up and she would know where to look for him. If he'd been home and they'd received it she would have been worried and he would have covered his pain to help her. She knew it had to be the jailer she couldn't see Ben talking about the things that had been in the mail willingly to just anyone … they weren't explicit sexually acts between them because he wouldn't ever write that kind of thing they were just special him and her times.

She knew she couldn't dwell on it after all Jude and Ricardo were onto it now and Ben was safe and he might wake up in morning and give a description and name … clear the whole thing up. She was his rock now as Antonio had been at the Mission so she would have to let the others do the worrying… sort of. They weren't being chased and the 'good' doctor could not touch them for now… she was not alone there were officers out there watching over them … would stop him if he walked during the night … so they were totally safe. She smiled hoping Jenny's husband wouldn't be too shocked when he found out he had guests as well as a special delivery of the instant camera, Ben's pills and her phone charger so she had all her phone information as well as being able to make calls away from the chalet building.

Silently sighing she looked back at Ben and went on to the better news … sort of better … she didn't like the idea he might have been silent right back to March but it could explain how he could use simple sign language. She couldn't help her very quiet chuckle as she thought of Betsy the little girl that seemed to have stolen his heart. She could understand how and why he helped her … especially if she was mourning her loss and he'd just mourned his … he would help her through it from painful silence into talking. Be ready to leave to come home and then the accident happened so shock and guilt caused him to shut down so stopping him come back.

She would not be jealous of a child this time, it was so typical of him only she'd not been willing to see it before … he'd done when Maria came back accepted her into that threesome because it had been the best thing to do and again when Benjy turned up. When she herself had come here he'd helped her and then when they knew each other he always encouraged her ideas … never pushed their relationship always wanted what was best for her. Why hadn't she seen his deep love then hadn't realised exactly what he was saying when he told her all he wanted was for her to be happy with or without him. She had not seen he loved her so deeply he would let her go … well she knew now and she knew he **had** to be told about Betsy as soon as possible. But how she couldn't just blurt it out they had no reference points here for her to show him.

Standing there pondering and watching him her mind went back to the other time when she stood beside his bed in the hospital after the first kidnapping when he'd been so ill. The only things in her mind were why anyone should hurt him and her love for him ... she'd talked to him from her heart forgetting about all the people and past against them … hoping that somehow her love … no … their love would pull him through. Then after the chaos at the cabin and they were safely back home and she needed his support so much he had gently told her it was her voice … her words … her love that had made him hang on to life, try so hard to regain consciousness to warn her about Derek … but he'd not had the physical strength to do it all the way... she had never failed him.

Remembering it she knew what to do and pushed herself away from the door frame and walked over to his bed. She gently put a hand on his shoulder and called his name and waited. As she expected nothing happened so she knelt down and got close so he could hear her and said gently but clearly. "Ben, Mum's made sure Benjy is safe and so is everyone else. You've nothing to fear no one is going to harm us or you Jude and Ricardo will make sure of that. The girl Betsy is alive and well, she's coming to town with Tim, Helen and Bob, Jude will see them and talk to them and if he thinks it's okay he will bring them to us in the afternoon. I love you and always will … trust that if nothing else Ben." She felt tears starting to come and knew she'd have to move so got up and watched him for a moment. As she wiped the tears that had escaped away she hoped for a reaction from him … something small … a smile in his sleep perhaps … but nothing happened and as she started to feel the chill she made her way back to bed.

With the shawl round her shoulders and the pillows stacked up behind her she tucked her long dark hair away from her face and snuggled into the blanket so she could still see him. Knowing it was still early compared to her usual bedtime she reckoned she would watch for a while and then catnap through the night rather than sleep deeply. She wanted to be aware of him but also knew as he might wake early so she needed some sleep and turned the bedside light off.

The nightlights in the garden provided a dim glow into the room so she could still see if Ben was all right and settled down to watch him. Feeling warm and comfortable along with the reaction from the day catching up with her Meg's watching soon slipped into a catnap, which in turn went into a deep sleep that would last till morning. So she missed the violent shiver that went through Ben's body as he went him into a deeper sleep than usual.

oxoxo

Ben had heard her words and they met up with the warmth of the butterfly kiss and travelled through the chaos in his mind. Their combination opened old and new memories … some came in quick flashes then closed and disappeared … others stayed and were sorted out … put in order … bedded down … understood as accepted … then were closed and put in their natural place and might be recalled if given the right keys. It left him in one where he could see and feel the countryside and weather around him and he expected the people he was staying with to call him at any moment as he sat on the bench looking across the pond. The quietness of the farm was broken by the sound of hurried footsteps and then a young girl ran into view and then silently clambered up beside him so they could watch the ducks in the cool March sunshine together.

He looked at her saw her deep sorrow and felt her snuggle up beside him and knew she was alive and talking … he'd not caused her death after all … time had passed things had changed.

Feeling a book being put gently into his hands by the child he turned his attention to opening it. He smiled knowing it was the one that gave her comfort and had helped her heal … that was later this was now. Pointing at the page and then at the ducks on the pond he began signing his version of the story knowing it would help her mood. Not long into his version of the story he stopped signing as he heard a gentle shaky laugh, which then turned into shaky words as she shifted round and then snuggled in so she could start reading the story to him. As he listened to her voice and heard her heartfelt healing sobs the whole memory dream closed down and disappeared into the darkness.

A violent shiver ran through his body as the knowledge flashed through his mind … it was Bob, Betsy's uncle he'd promised to explain everything to when he woke but he had not done so. … As it disappeared into the darkness Ben was pulled into a deeper sleep.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

As she walked back from her phone call Helen acknowledged the people passing with a smile, and glancing up at the stars in the night sky realised it was getting late and was glad John paid for call. … She certainly hadn't enough change for a call **that** long ... there had been so much news between the three of them … unfortunately she couldn't say the call had made her exactly happy either. … But at least she knew the family were healthy and they'd be seeing Sy tomorrow … assuming they made it as far as Sunset Beach of course. 

Turning the final corner and seeing the van she smiled and thought it seemed sadder than ever … and who could blame it. When she'd gone to make the phone call there had been bums showing from under the hood along with the dark mutterings as the two men fiddled with the engine and leaky radiator. Now the poor thing was raised up on two small ramps with a front wheel off, and two pairs of feet were sticking out from under the front along with more dark mutterings. Glad she couldn't understand the dark mutterings and knowing one pair of feet she decided she'd leave well alone … he'd come in when ready with the good or bad news, which meant she'd have to say news twice.

Shaking her head she gave a very quiet chuckle as she remembered their grand entrance and vaguely wondered whether they should not hug the van instead of condemning it … it had after all got them there and the chalet for the night. But then again, it had been slow going and they'd held their breaths and mentally got out and pushed the thing to keep it going a couple of times, when the road had a slight incline or a long flat bit making the engine chugged a lot. The last bit to the campsite had been the worst but they made it … just. They'd had some steaming coming out from the hood from the turn off and had hoped … prayed more like it that it would last … and it did as far as the 'signing in' office for the campsite. It stuttered shuddered and more steam blew so they couldn't see then there was a loud bang and it stopped dead … it had had enough and wasn't going to move ever again ... that's what it had felt like from the inside … before they evacuated as they could. 

Of course people had come out of the campsite shop at the sound and the owner came out of the office ready to turn them away as the site was full. Realising they weren't going anywhere any time soon he offered them a chalet for the night. It was going to be done up that weekend so had no cooker but had a couple of sofas and beds so he wouldn't charge and would put the tv set back in. Then with the help of some of the onlookers, who were relieved it hadn't happened to them, the van was pushed to in front of the chalet. Definitely one way of breaking the ice … but she wouldn't want to do it again. Once unpacked they'd had a wonderful free meal with the owners and had found out that hubby loved 'playing' with engines and a challenge … yeah that made them all laugh, afterwards he and Tim went out to 'play and swear' to see if they would make it to Sunset Beach the next day.

She smiled deciding she wouldn't hug it nor would she be too sad to see it go … just hoped it would find a home of some sort rather than be a heap waiting to be squashed, and sighed as she turned the handled to open the chalet door wondering what mood she would find within. Opening the door, which lead straight into the living room she relaxed slightly because she could hear two lots of laughter, which was a good sign. It meant Betsy was getting back on track and Bob was getting over his grumps at the thought of the hospital appointment tomorrow. She had to admit if they'd been in time she would have rung the hospital first and made the appointment for him knowing full well he would try to wriggle out of it … still will do given half the chance in spite of his promise to Betsy. 

Closing the door she walked into the room and was greeted by smiles from the two and a breathless "Uncle John all right?" as Betsy managed to stop her giggles and was eyeing the bag Helen was carrying, hoping there was something edible in it and it was for now not the morning.

"Yes and so is Sy and they all send their love. How's your knee?" Helen added looking across at her brother who was laid out on the sofa while Betsy sat on a pile of cushions on the floor by his side, the remains of the game they'd been playing was on a tray on Bob's lap.

Bob knew better than to lie especially as he'd been seen limping earlier. "Better for not having to sleep on the ground tonight, though I think I'll stay here rather than try the stairs, any interesting news?"

"Right." Helen said with laugh knowing he'd changed the subject and she wouldn't be able to get back to it and sighed admitting. "Difficult to know where to begin really." She stopped and turned as the outside door opened and her husband came in, thankful for the interruption she greeted him with a smile and asked. "Finished?"

Tim smiled and nodded and stepped out of his grubby overalls then as he rolled them up and put them on the side out the way and confirmed. "Yeah and we think we've blocked the hole in the radiator but we won't know till the morning if it's likely to make Sunset all right. Assuming it does we'll trade it in there it's too small and other things need replacing. Simon's going to give me the name and address with directions of a reliable garage and dealer who'll take it off our hands and will probably argue with the insurance company for us. He'll give us the paper work at breakfast he'll include notes of everything we've done tonight, he'll try and ring the bloke when the garage is open and explain everything. Sy, John and family all right?"

While her husband went over and sat on the other sofa Helen decided to stay standing and answered his question, now able to talk to them as a group. "Yes health wise, I'll explain the rest in a moment. I told them everything that's happened and they send hugs all round and I sent some back on your behalf. Sy's arrived all right and is staying with John, the firm have given her a couple of weeks leave and then they will decide what her next job is. I think she wants to stay over here for a while though the firm says she will be safe if she went abroad again. … I get the feeling the whole thing has taken its toll on her confidence though she sounds quite upbeat about the whole affair." 

She looked over at Bob who nodded and voiced his thoughts "I'll have a word with her if she comes to visit us or phone her … debrief her and reassure her it's quite normal after a covert operation etc. I reckon they will give her good references if she wanted to move on or try a different field." and deciding to make his sister get straight to the other point asked, "Everything ready for moving out?"

Helen gave a slight smile, then nodded and feeling the sadness she'd had as she'd talked to her brother and told them. "We've gone through it all and he'll start the wheels turning so the packers can move in and power etc turned off. Sy's dealt with her things and marked the bigger items she wants stored they will go with everything else as she's not got a base yet. There are no clashes as to who has what so that's okay the other bits we knew could not be catered for will go under the hammer soon. He's had an offer for the dining table, chairs and cabinets they will stay together and go to a house in another Sate so I told him to accept it." And looked across to Bob for his okay.

Bob nodded and guessing from her look added quietly knowing she would understand. "Divide the money between the two of you." 

Helen nodded knew he'd guessed the rest and that he was the only one with home went on to confirm it. "Thanks you are right I'm afraid John's business has been closed as of this morning the bank's head office called everything in. He's got no option but to hand it all to that new firm tomorrow … they are at least paying for the clients' list, which means he'll have something to feed the family with for a while, but there wasn't an offer of a job." She sighed adding. "Not sure he'd take it anyway, a bit like rubbing salt in the wounds. Bert's told them they can move in with him as their house was included … it will be cramped but it's better than a hotel they can't afford. They move out Wednesday."

Seeing the sympathetic shakes of the heads from her husband and brother and hearing a sad hiccup sigh from Betsy, knowing she'd just cancelled out all the good Bob had done smiled and said gently. "You never know we might have another helper if this idea comes to anything. It could be just him a while as I'm not sure Sandra and the kids will be able to move at the moment and we of course will have to find accommodation which could be interesting." She saw a wide eyed nod and knew she'd not really done any good but they understood each other … it was not the end of the world they would get through this … and added trying to sound as casual as possible. "Oh yes, I nearly I forget, we have to call in at Sunset Beach's Police Station tomorrow morning."

Feeling this was really the last straw Tim exclaimed crossly. "They're blaming us for that damned accident!" 

Helen smiled understanding his feelings … nothing seemed to be going right for the family and said. "No love, nothing to do with that, a traveller has turned up with an address card but no id and no memory so they want us to id him and give any background we can. I think they traced some of his movements back to the middle of March this year then nothing. I'm assuming it's a traveller rather than a patient turned traveller as they usually went back to families or to doctors with notes and back up, but you never know. Sy wants to come and see us rather than stay down there so I've asked her to bring all my remaining files and a few other bits and pieces for us. I presume she's hiring a car as she said she'd have transport, discussing travelling times we thought we'd meet at the police station around 11 am. I've got hers and the station's phone numbers so we can ring them from here if needs be." 

Without giving them time to react she told them her plans for tomorrow. "I reckon you Tim, Betsy and Sy could deal with the garden centre see how things stand there and deal with the van. Meanwhile Bob and I will see the police that should not take long so I'll grab a taxi and pop him into the hospital with your notes. Of course if we pass the hospital and it's early enough we can make a definite appointment for later rather than a wait and see. We'll make the hospital another meeting point as we've still got to buy new phones, Tim you'll be with Sy so I can ring her if needs be and you can contact me via the hospital or the police station and then I'll grab a taxi and meet you elsewhere."

Knowing his sister Bob asked seriously and quietly. "Why me?" 

Helen smiled innocently not wanting to explain in front of Betsy. "Because I need my hand held and you're big and fearsome."

They laughed at that but stopped when Betsy said shakily and hopefully. "It could be Joe which means he'll save the house as he promised."

Bob and Helen looked at each other knowing this could break Betsy heart once again, and Bob put his and on Betsy shoulder saying gently "Sweetheart this traveller could be anyone. I'm sure Joe would have got back to us earlier if he could have helped us. To be honest I don't think we'd like living there anymore not with the crops all round it that's why you left remember. "

Betsy looked at them one at a time, remembering it all and knowing she would hate it but loved the house and not trusting words nodded.

Helen knew they couldn't go back Betsy mood swings and nightmares as the crops got bigger had driven them from their home and knowing she needed diverting before those memories swamped her she quickly asked with a smile. "So who was winning before I came in?"

Bob and Betsy looked and pointed at each other, which made them all laugh and Helen said. "Fine … that means cakes for all … they need plates and tissues so you go hunt for them Betsy." She'd bought them knowing the news would make them all sad and they would need comfort food.

With a nod and her mind on what the cakes might be Betsy got up and went into the kitchen.

Once she was out of earshot Bob asked quietly knowing they needed to talk privately. "Any idea when the house will go and is the traveller in custody?"

Helen sighed. "We'll talk more after Betsy asleep but John thinks it will take a couple of days to sort things out but it will depend on the packing firm so it might not be till next week. I expect they'll have the bulldozers in the second the last carrier leaves. Before harvest so they don't have to reinstate the path. As for the traveller it has to be serious the messenger was an FBI bloke. Sy thought the Agent was okay. He said the traveller was with a friend a Detective Ricardo Torres of the Sunset Beach police force, I've got the names of the officers concerned on my pad with the numbers. He also said the man had one of our jumpers but we all know some of those went walkabout." 

Bob gave a snort of a laugh, while Tim shook his head and Helen shrugged and carried on. "Oh cynics the pair of you but point taken the Agent could be the friendly face. Pity the computer part of the cafe is not up and running or we could get information about the town and possibly find out what's in the papers before we get there. Bert didn't want to call them up in case it did more harm than good he'll be around if we need to phone tomorrow. Sy did a quick scan of a local paper on the net couldn't find anything that looked like anything but like us she wouldn't know what to look for. Travellers aren't really news and if the police are involve then I expect they've clamped down on it anyway. She's bringing your spare laptop Bob but that will be too late, I don't suppose yours has decided to work?"

Bob huffed. "No not surprising really consider what it went through I'll get someone who knows more than I do to look at. I would say tomorrow but I've got to be with it and you lot want me in hospital … I can't leave it with just anyone as it's got valuable information in it. I expect I'll have to contact base get someone out to collect it, I can do that from the police station be better than a pay phone."

Helen nodded knowing he could be in trouble for what happened and added. "Okay, regarding the traveller I'll make sure we have as much information as possible before I say anything. If they get huffy I could claim the travellers were my patients so doctor privileges come into force. You know if it does turn out to be Joe this loss of memory could be a big problem all round."

Bob sighed, "True especially as the FBI are involved … I doubt they told Sy the whole story so it might not be total loss of memory **and** assuming, it's him it's going to be his word against ours there's no hard evidence about what happened. It most probably isn't him he's not the only one who went with a jumper and those cards were always around since the real Joe came calling …"

"Guess someone's still hungry sweetheart." Tim interrupted as he saw Betsy coming with plates, tissues and a huge smile.

Helen opened the bag and handed out four big cream cakes and then said as a thought struck her. "Just realised that FBI bloke will most probably be going back to Sunset and if he's handsome he'll be Sy's transport. Hope it's bigger than a two seater or she'll be walking with things I've asked for."

With his mouth full of cake Tim mumbled. "That figures." 

"Dad!" Betsy exclaimed.

He looked at Betsy and swallowed and hearing soft chuckles from Helen and Bob he glared at them then said to Betsy. "Sorry sweetheart … not with my mouthful I know." 

Betsy nodded content she'd made her point and sat on the cushions and slowly munched her cake. She knew tomorrow would be a good day … it had to be … and if she took a really long time eating her delicious cake she'd stay up even later than it was now ... and now was late. 

oxoxo 

Unable to sleep no matter how hard he tried Antonio gave up and walked along the quiet passageways of the Mission till he got to the smallest chapel. He put the side lights on and entered and didn't stop at seats but went on to sit beside the Alter seeking its silent comfort and let his mind go over everything. He felt lost and guilty without his 'little brother' nearby which was daft really … he could not have done anything else to head off the situation. Sending Joan would have caused a lot of problems and possibly upset Ben when he found out Maria was nearby and being sent away because he didn't want to see her. 

Instead he'd gone to do the job and Ben had felt relaxed enough to hug Joan. Yeah he was more than sad he'd missed that. He should be grateful he was not in the porch trying to sleep … he'd found it difficult enough last night and waking stiff wasn't clever either ... tonight knowing how hard it was would have made it impossible ... even with an extra mattress he was going to get.

There was also the point he'd wanted Ben and Meg together … okay so he wanted to be there as well … as a threesome … after all there would be things Ben might not want to tell Meg but could tell him. … He knew about being on the road from other travellers and Ben had talked to him about the first kidnapping in confidence. … They'd been brothers again in a way … and he thought they were again when Ben had signed by Derek's grave and Ben hadn't really turned his back on him tonight either. 

He should of course also gain comfort from Jude's phone call that Ben was sleeping with Meg close by … he hadn't gone catatonic on her … them ... in fact he seemed to be getting stronger in himself. Jude hadn't said where they were … didn't need to he could guess but would not … less thought about less likely to be tripped up about it. He also knew trusted officers were watching the couple and would keep them safe and he could go to the couple at a moments notice. So why oh why couldn't he sleep in his nice comfortable bed!

As his mind refused to rest and carried on churning he huffed silently … he **needed **to be awake tomorrow … nope today it was past midnight. The press and people would be asking and he would be saying 'no comment' to family or even closely trusted friends … thanks to that blasted freebee newspaper. He hated the way the story had been slanted towards Ben's troubles in the past and because Derek was dead Ben would take on his characteristics. He knew it wouldn't happen in that respect Ben wasn't identical to Derek; the other points mentioned were too close for comfort. They considered the 'good' Doctor being the unnamed source of the information … she had the medical knowledge to make informed guesses and unfortunately they were bang on target. She'd been unable to get to Ben when she was having sessions with Maria he'd neatly side stepped them … now all it needed was a couple concerned citizens to complain about Ben being at the Mission and she'd have him in Cedar Oaks before Tyus could get other support flown in.

He gave a slight smile knowing they the advantage … he wasn't here … but it would mean Ben couldn't come back if he woke up in the morning and wanted to come back. Then there was the news about the doctors coming in with the young girl Betsy, he was pleased she was alive but it brought other worrying thoughts … where they the good guys or bad guys in the story … were there any bad guys … had Ben been a patient or a business partner … and how far did it go back was it just to March or was it back to February … if so what about that final pay out. Was Jude thinking like this and saying nothing so as not to worry them if that was the case what about Ben could he have been.. 

A shiver ran through his body as his mind shied away from the next word and jumped onto the other news of the night. The one he'd prised out of Ricardo as he gave him the brotherly support he'd needed and was grateful for. He'd sensed something was troubling his older brother no matter how hard he tried to hide it so he'd slowly careful turned the tables on him … so he was the one talking not him, which was as usual like getting blood out of stone. Unusually he'd got some … yeah he found out about Maria and her first husband, divorced and dead. Some track record, if you think about Ben … nope don't go there … he's not dead he's going to be fine and so is this new husband. 

True he'd been cross … no … too mild … disbelieving then extremely cross … but now having had time to cool down … cross and a bit hurt more like it. He still could not understand her attitude towards the marriage considering her upbringing **but** he could understood why she'd hadn't wanted to tell anyone and buried it. She'd been right Ricardo and Mama would have blown their tops and as he was the youngest in the family and still finding his way in the world would not have been approached regarding confidences or discussions from any side. 

Would Mama and Ricardo have tried to hide it from everyone or would they have made her tell Ben before she got married. Knowing Ricardo he would have wanted Ben to be told. Not out of spite but just so he would understand the situation and it wouldn't come up and hurt them later should someone find out … as in blackmail. On the other hand Maria would have wanted it hidden wouldn't have wanted Ben thinking he was loved on the rebound or possibly that she was untrustworthy in her feelings … jumped from one husband to another when things got bad … or was there even the thought of being soiled goods. But Ben had been a man of world and bound to have had other relationships before Maria so he would have understood. Remembering back to those early days and the marriage he knew they loved each other they'd all seen it … so she should have trusted that love. … Had the marriage run its natural course back then or was it failing because both of them were keeping family secrets. … So perhaps the doctors were right … now Maria knew she would never remember her time in Seattle but was strong enough in herself to face the other buried secret it should be out in open as far as the family were concerned and then she could relax and start her family and new life properly. 

He smiled remembering his brother's pained expression as he admitted that he'd been warned off and both Maria but Mama refused to tell him the man's name in case he started digging into the past. … Yeah that detective itch was being held back but they both knew it was a bit like the last cake on the plate and Ricardo was feeling very hungry … it would be eaten sometime right down to the last crumb.

He shook his head and became serious as his mind went back this evening, they'd come to the conclusion it was confused memories, that didn't run in sequence or tell the whole story. Likely to have been about Derek's death, Ben had mentioned Benjy rather than son so could known the child was his nephew not son … but who could really tell what he'd been thinking there'd been no lead up to it. What troubled him the most was the fact that Ben had said he should have been dead like Derek … was that part of his muddled thinking or was that something he really thought.

It all churned on, he knew Ben's memories worked by triggers so they might have been the beach, the Shock Wave and Joan's tea … the last one was seeing Meg and that's how he knew how to get away from there. Joan had told them it was his favourite tea she'd always made a point of giving it to him … sort of family bonding. But they weren't sure he drank any, Joan was not looking at Ben when he changed only just after the mug hit the table. What if he had drunk some and it threw him back to Christmas Eve when he would have made his own at Ocean Drive first time in months. … He'd thought they were not safe out there in the open and he needed time to think things through so wanted the ones he cared for safe. Or was it nothing more than muddled thinking with Benjy's name and their safety in the forefront and he panicked and took it from there and luckily things were working out.

He sighed wondering if it all three that had been the trigger. … If perhaps Ben had seen the jailer somewhere in town while out with Benjy that Christmas Eve as they bought the Christmas tree and had not said anything having the child in tow and buried it through shock and grief. It might have surfaced as a nightmare and he'd woken deciding it was better if he was gone …dead like Derek … so the jailer could not use any of them against him. Would he have left things so they wouldn't worry about him was possibly going to tell someone from a safe distance but didn't … it had got so buried he could not retrieve it … just knew he was going to mourn his brother and had done so … till tonight when the triggers threw him back to then and he wanted them to be safe.

It was all supposition he knew, but Ben wouldn't know the jailer was still free that he was the only one who could finger him and hadn't yet. He wouldn't know about the house in Seattle being destroyed by fire … no one but family and police knew that. What would happen if Meg told him the truth … Tyus said no one should lie to him … could she reassure him enough to make him stay and remember the jailer's description so they could find the man? Stop the fear of the threat to his loved ones for his silence. Yeah big country one person, needle in the haystack, then there was that damn email and they were seriously thinking jailer from a distance for that. But now the media know Ben is back … would it be big news or could it be kept local.… 

He looked up as his mind registered what he'd heard a little earlier … the sound of soft footsteps that had stopped at the entrance of the chapel … and acknowledge softly. "Sister Jane."

She smiled it wasn't often you saw a Priest sitting by the Alter looking so forlorn and said gently. "Don't blame yourself … Ben knew what he was doing even if he could not tell you. He's safe and with Meg what more could we want … well apart from his memory back of course." At least that brought a faint smile his face; she still couldn't understand how Father Brown knew Father Antonio was in trouble and had sent her on her hunt for him. He had been stuck by the phone since early evening and would be for the rest of the night so she passed on his message. "Father Brown is on night duty and wants a chess partner if it will help you."

Antonio nodded and got up knowing that even if he could not concentrate on the game he'd be able to voice his thoughts without them going any further. **And** he might even find a way of helping his brother stop that detective itch before it caused any trouble. 

Walking with Sister Jane he felt his mood lighten as with her twist of humour chatted bout her evening classes, which had been full because the rumour mill had started to roll as soon as someone read that freebee paper and her gentle no comment had seemed to confirm the people's assumptions. 

They were within a couple of footsteps of Father Brown's office when they heard a loud bang from outside; they both stopped and looked at each other. Antonio shivered as another bang sounded and he could see through the window the coloured lights flickering as they fell confirming their thoughts. … It was a firework rather than a firecracker and as they walked on and opened Father Brown's door another bang was heard and they both silently wondered how many there would be tonight.

Father Brown looked at them as they entered and seeing their expressions said softly. "Perhaps he was right to leave us after all." 


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25 **

As the first rays of dawn started to lift the night's darkness to grey Ben came from deep sleep to consciousness with the feeling something had changed and he would understand it when he opened his eyes. He wasn't ready to do that yet as he could feel something more comfortable than the hard ground he'd expected and tried to puzzle out what it was and felt a whisper of a butterfly kiss on his lips and his words "I love you Meg". Followed by an echo of a female voice saying "I love you and want to be with you … whatever else you forget remember that." but there was no memory of who, where or when it was said. Unsure of what it meant he let out silent sigh as it disappeared and nothing followed it and knew he had to open his eyes.

Opening his eyes and letting them focus he'd expected things to click into place as his feeling had told him it would and froze … nothing clicked into place … he didn't recognise anything nor did he know how he got wherever he was or if he was safe or his name.

Slowly his mind started working again, on the one bit of knowledge that was there - this was not the porch at the Mission this was a room of a house or a home with a garden and **he** was **in** the **room**.

This made his heart race and his chest tighten with anxiety which then gradually eased as he started to take note what exactly was in front of him and he realised not only was there a large window there was a large door which was open. …**He** could get out when he wanted to … he was not trapped and he was in a bed with a blanket and sheet covering him. As he realised this he heard a whisper in his mind of that gentle voice again and this time there was a hint of reassuring tease in her words "Think of it as a big decorated porch and this time the bed has springs." he tried to see the woman in the memory but it disappeared and the word 'wife' flitted through after it sending a shiver down his spine as there were no thoughts or memories to go with it or after it.

Lying still getting his breath and bearings he noticed the wilderness of a garden outside and though he didn't recognise it, seeing it woke the knowledge he could do tidy it up and landscape it if he wanted to and they were safe. Though he didn't know who they actually were or what they were safe from, he did know if he pushed for answers it would lead to darkness so stopped. Knowing this he would follow his instincts till he understood what was going on. Bearing this in mind he knew darkness going to light meant getting up and moved the covers of his body and from the familiar weight next to his chest he knew his bag was with him and safe.

Silently sitting up he knew he needed the bathroom and wondered if there was one outside he could use. As soon as he though that there was another whisper from that gentle voice saying "Straight past the kitchen don't think you can miss it." With that familiar anxiety rising he knew he had to look behind him into the house or home to find the doorway that would lead to the bathroom ... there wasn't one outside. Slowly he eased round and looked across the room and saw not only an open door that could be the one he wanted but also there was another bed and someone was sleeping in it.

He tried to clam his sudden fear and turned back to look at the floor near the door into the garden and thought about what he knew since he woke up. … He was a traveller, his things were in his bag and he'd expected to wake up on the hard surface of a bed in a porch of a Mission. Instead he'd woken in a comfortable bed with a female voice in his mind and a memory of a kiss on his lips and the ghost of the word 'wife' that followed it. … He knew he lost memories on waking … had he also lost time … were these old memories that had surfaced somehow. … Had he loved someone and lost her … had he just moved from the Mission to here and forgotten or had that too been in the past and he'd been here a long time. A shiver ran through him and he realised though answers didn't come reasoning this way was new to him … could this be the difference he'd felt as he woke and suddenly felt the tingling of darkness and realising he might lose what little he had shied away from pushing for answers.

Instinctively knowing that answers might come as the day passed and he needed to move soon he turned back to look into room wanting to know who was in the other bed before he walked by them. He couldn't see much just someone snuggled into pillows and blankets with some black hair showing where the head must be. The hump of the body was smallish like that of a slightly built person… a teenager perhaps rather than adult like himself. So a young male helper and the women if any would be elsewhere. With slight tremors running through his body he looked round spotting the closed door and guessed there could be other rooms leading off of it … bunkhouse and other travellers came to mind along with the knowledge he really needed to move, the rest could wait.

With the thought that he was safe and needed his shoes he automatically went to his bag. Finding his cap and shoes he left his cap till later … there was something puzzling about the cap but he couldn't catch what and put his shoes on. Doing so he realised he was not wearing his usual jumper or shirt but they were his jeans so he had changed before he slept. Whispers too faint to catch flitted through his mind reminding him that this morning was really strange but as he could sense **that** feeling he trusted above all else he didn't worry about it.

Getting up he squashed his anxiety about going bathroom and quickly tided the bed and then carefully slinging his bag over his shoulder he walked silently up to and passed the sleeper. As he did so he realised it was a woman and stopped knowing that was unusual … the bunkhouses or rooms in shelters were either all men or all women … unless they were a couple. His thoughts slowed as he studied what he could see of her face … she was sleeping on her side, facing him with her long dark hair tucked away from her pretty face with the top of the blanket covering her chin and the rest of her body. Slowly he realised he knew her and felt the warmth of the butterfly kiss they'd shared along with his words "I love you Meg" and shivered because nothing else came. No hint of who she was or how they came to be here or how long they'd known each other... nothing.

Breathing silently he carried on looking at her and feeling good knowing she was safe and near him. He stepped forward and put his hand out intending to gently brush her cheek to make sure she was real and this was not a trick his tangled mind was playing. But as his hand got close to her face he pulled it back knowing he could not talk to her he was silent. There was also a warning deep down inside of him that he should let her sleep he needed time away from her to make things right … and that meant the bathroom, changing and time away from her.

Trusting his instincts he left her and found the bathroom with one thing in mind … do what he had to and silently get out. … He did it all quickly and automatically until just going to leave the room and saw himself in the mirror and stopped dead. … The confused bearded stranger wasn't there instead there was a clean shaven, short haired confused stranger looking back at him.

Studying his reflection some of the confusion wavered and he knew his name was Ben Evans and he came from Sunset Beach. As he put his hand up to his reflection to check it was really there a strong feeling of foreboding rose up and overwhelmed him. So much so he stormed out of the bathroom, through the bedroom ignoring the sleeping figure and out into the garden.

Amazingly he did it all so quietly it didn't disturb Meg at all.

Ben stopped as soon as he was well away from the building and put his bag down beside his legs and took deep breaths to calm down. Gradually he saw where he was and the fear along with the fleeting feelings and memories totally disappeared till all that mattered was the garden around him.

Dawn had progressed enough so he could see that the garden had been worked on once and then neglected and he reasoned that was why he was there … it needed clearing and laying out as he thought fit … he could do that as he understood plants and landscapes. Suddenly hearing a girl's laughter coming towards him from behind he turned sharply expecting to catch her before she ran into him and found no one there and felt totally confused. He knew the girl's voice but not her name only that she was alive and needed a pond so he could find her again … and then … he would be able to explain everything to Bob as promised.

As the brief memory disappeared he realised he was standing next to a weed filled impression in ground and if cleared and lined it could become a pond. Glancing around he saw a tap the hose by the shed and knew tools were there so it could be done. He looked further up the garden for the seats he would need and saw logs and planks and a dead tree that needed to come out and knew that would make the firewood he wanted. Deciding to do the quieter jobs first he went to the shed and found the rope and tools he needed. As he worked he let ideas for the garden tumble through his mind and gradually doors to other memories opened and he knew a lady called Meg and another lady would bring him food later and if he needed any before then there was some in his bag.

oxoxo

Meg was sitting on the farm fence rail enjoying the rhythmic thwack of the axe while watching her father chop the dead tree stump and branches into a pile of logs for the fire. Hank stopped to clear away some of the thinner bits which would eventually be kindling wood when the silence was broken by another thwack of an axe and the crash of a falling tree close by. She knew that was odd as her father was in front of her and no one else would chop the trees so close. Looking round to see who and where everything dissolved into nothing and she became aware she was waking up and it must be a dream brought on by the sound of her father chopping wood outside in the yard.

Opening her eyes she gradually realised she was not in her room at the farm or at her parents house or her new home. Hearing the familiar thwack of axe chopping wood start up again she knew it wasn't all a dream and remembered she was at the garden centre and Ben should be in the bed by the door. She quickly eased herself up expecting to see Ben stirring and saw the bed was empty and made tidy.

With the rush of alarm and the thought of "Damn he's gone she'd lost him" she grabbed the shawl and scrambled out of bed …then cursing for sleeping not catnapping as promised, she made her way to the open door into the garden. As she moved she realised the sound of chopping wood could be coming from the garden rather than further away like the farm and hoped it was Ben … he had not left her … he was working … done an early lark bit while she'd slept.

Coming to the door frame Meg stopped and leant against it having a clearer view of the garden and sighed with relief ... he was at the top of the garden. She ran her fingers through her hair getting it away from her face and wrapped the shawl round herself properly then breathed deeply as she watched Ben, who looked totally relaxed as he worked with the axe. She smiled feeling her heart racing not with fear but with pure pleasure while she started wondering what to do and just how much he might remember about last night. … He obviously knew where the tools were and he could work without orders … so … would he remember that butterfly kiss and her words … his own words even … and would he understand them and what they meant.

Or was a stranger … he knew nothing woke and saw the wilderness, hunted in the shed and found the tools then tidied up the obvious things i.e. dead tree chop it down … so he wouldn't know her … hadn't seen her as she was tucked up in bed. He need not have used the bathroom if couldn't remember where it was or his fear stopped him. … If partial memory or even nothing at all she could tell him about the photo album in his bag and take him through it … they didn't have any from here yet so she'd have to just have to explain … somehow. … Would, you asked me to drive you be enough or would she have to explain what she'd walked in on at the Shock Wave. … Could she admit to kissing him or should she leave it out completely just say he went to bed. … Of course he remembered the kiss and asked she'd tell him about her love for him and his for her … skipping over the bad bits … and give him a reminder of the kiss if he wanted it ... Yeah … she could do that all right.

Feeling a warm shiver down her spine at that thought she brought her full attention back to Ben as he worked, just to check he was okay of course. Then she glanced round the garden to see what he'd done … find out just how long he'd been up and noticed the roped off areas, which she was sure weren't there in the nightlight last night. There were a couple were down the sides and a sort of circle in the middle of a grassy area that one seemed to have a natural dip in … could be filled up and they might become flower beds. Would look good and he'd already cleared dried debris and shrubs leaving weeds and grass to do … well she could help with that digging she'd done it in the past at home and enjoyed it.

Her gaze travelled back to where Ben was working and checked it over … yep there was the pile of debris from the borders in the corner along with a small wood pile … must have come from the tree he'd just felled. She knew from watching her father, he'd take some branches down first and then the main trunk and that's what she had heard come down. She spotted a neat fire pit with the base of a fire ready to be lit so he was going to burn it rather than drag it through the garden fair enough. No neighbours close-by and green grass fields behind them if she remembered rightly.

Her pondering stopped as her mind went on alert … **a fire** … Ben had blackouts … could collapse over that fire at any time. She **had** to stop him … she **had** to move regardless of the fact watching him was fantastic. … The main bit of the tree was being stripped of the remaining branches so it would not be long before the trunk would be logs and then he would light the fire. … Damn he worked fast and she had to get dressed … **Now!**

With that thought she moved quickly and found her clothes knowing she needed to be around him for his own safety, even if he didn't understand why or know her. As she dressed her mind went back to her mother's message from Tyus's … not to 'mother hen' he needed space and to do his own thing … and squashed it. Ben might have been on his own for several months but he was 'home' now, was remembering things and blacking out she'd seen it. She could not risk him getting hurt … she would never forgive herself.

As though she was challenging her own thoughts she remembered he hadn't blacked out last night it seemed he had gained control, knew her and went calmly to sleep. And he might have remembered everything and be perfectly all right if given space. But that got squashed too. ... By her own growing need to be beside him now she was awake and regardless of his memory or lack of it.

oxoxo

As Meg walked carefully along the path making sure she didn't spill the tea from the two mugs she was carrying her heart and mind were racing ... one with excitement and love the other hoping for some recognition as well as wondering how and when to call him to get his attention the teas were a good reason for stopping. It was not a gravel path so he wouldn't hear her coming and he was facing away from her as well. She knew he might not recognise his name but just hearing a voice might make him stop. But if she called out and that axe fell as he turned in shock …he'd hurt himself … and that was certainly not what she wanted … it would be just as bad if she didn't call out … made him jump by suddenly being there.

Perversely she noticed his bag covered by his jumper was close to him and quickly pondered the fact it was not near enough to trip him up as he worked but if he walked towards the chalet he could trip over it or would just knock it and pick it up. … So he felt safe here, which was good and he wasn't wearing his cap either … was that another good sign or was that because it got in the way so he took it off. But then again he might not wear it unless he needed to protect his eyes from the sun but he wore it last night...

She stopped pondering because she knew she had to call him she was getting very close to him. Clearing her mind of all speculation she watched the axe split the log and while Ben was brushing part of it out the way she called out in an even tone. "Ben, I've brought some mugs of tea"

Suddenly hearing a voice Ben went on alert knowing he had to protect the things most valuable to him. Slamming the axe head into the wood to keep it out the way he turned and in one stride was standing in front of he bag and jumper on guard and ready to protect them. He looked at the intruder and recognised her as being the woman who'd slept in the other bed and relaxed slightly. Seeing the mugs of tea he got his cap which he'd tucked into the waist band of his jeans and put it on and looking past the woman to the chalet asked. "Isn't the boss joining us?"

Seeing Ben's very quick and potentially aggressive reaction sent a shiver through Meg and the realisation he thought she was an enemy … the last thing she wanted and stayed still hardly breathing till she saw him put his cap on. Hearing him speak nearly made her drop the mugs but somehow she managed to hold them. While her mind quickly highlighted the obvious … he was talking it then flicked to the other point … he thought Jenny was the boss so must remember something from last night, but not necessarily correctly and she would leave that bit till later. Hiding her excitement she smiled and answered his question. "Jenny will be over later with breakfast I thought this might be nice and I'll help you till she comes."

Ben nodded realising he was right she was a helper and there was a boss so he could tell Jenny his ideas later and as the tea was welcome said. "Thank you." then pointing to the plank of wood resting on two logs near the fire he and knew something else and reassured her. "The seat is safe to sit and put the mugs on Meg." Without waiting to see he reaction he picked his jumper up and put it round his shoulders rather than on, he'd only have to take it off as he worked again. Then slung his bag over his shoulder and tided up odd bits of wood as he made his way over to the seat allowing her to get to the seat first.

Meg nodded unable to say anything, her heart was jumping and her mind screaming … **he** knew her name … then she started notice the truth …he did know her name **but** not as they used to be as lovers … not even close friends or friends … more like a name to a face and he'd just accepted her as being here because he saw her asleep in the bedroom this morning … so he didn't really **know** her or possibly anything else ... guessed at someone being the boss.

As she walked over to the seat she realised the two logs she'd seen by the roped off circle could also be used as seats as they were larger, the plank across these made up for size and smiled. … So up with the lark as Antonio had warned wasn't true … Ben had beaten the bird hands down. Putting the mugs down and sitting down she looked at him coming over and said without thinking it through. "What time did you start to do all this?"

She regretted it immediately she heard her words as she realised he wasn't wearing a watch and it wasn't just any old watch that was missing either. It was the engraved one she'd given him and Derek had taken away each time he'd been kidnapped. Not only that she was there when Ben took it off his dead twin's wrist in the basement Christmas Eve just before they took Derek's body way. There'd been no anger or hate just deep deep sorrow about what was lost and then afterwards he'd slipped the watch on and promised her he would never lose it again or his love for her … they meant too much to him. Yet somehow he had and now…

Ben's soft chuckle and words as he sat down leaving the two mugs of tea between them brought her back to now. "First cracks of light in the sky … it got easier as it got lighter of course. Sorry if woke you … I have little sense of time even less once I get going and I want to get it going and burn the greener bits early so the smoke will rise with the morning breeze and won't hang around and trouble anyone."

She smiled at his concern and wanted to make sure he didn't worry so explained. "That sounds good, I heard the tree come down but I think I was waking anyway. How are you?"

Ben stayed silent and turned to his bag, which was resting against his leg furthest away from Meg and thought about the question … her voice was bringing back some of those confusing memories he'd had earlier as well as knowledge of some things. As he didn't know the history around the memories and they could be embarrassing he'd leave them alone. Touching the paper bag he was looking for he took it out and answered the safe part of her question. "Cough's much better, so Jenny's stuff seems to have worked. I don't know where we are or how long I've been here but I know I'm Ben Evans from Sunset Beach and I know you are Meg."

He paused as he opened the bag and then offered what was inside to her saying. "I think these biscuits might be nice with our tea, there are two left. I had one earlier with some water; the taste seemed familiar … comforting … though when I pushed for memories of when I'd eaten one before or how I got them darkness threatened so I stopped and just enjoyed it."

Meg nodded, took one and couldn't help smiling knowing she'd tell her mother about that sometime and let him carry on enjoying the fact he was talking and sounded like her Ben not the stranger. "I've got a lot of impressions running through my mind and I need something to make them solid though having said that I feel as though they are solid … memories not dreams though some could well be dreams." He sighed adding "I guess I'm totally confused." and took out the last biscuit and tucked the paper bag in the unlit fire so he could burn it later.

She couldn't help her short gentle chuckle … he was right he was confused and it was going to be interesting and awkward to put things straight. There were so many things just waiting to trip her… them up … if they did … well she'd have to pick up the pieces later and wondered how Antonio managed so well.

Suddenly realising Ben was looking at her with a slightly puzzled expression, hoping he had not taken offence at her chuckle she thought she saw a flicker as something might have clicked into place in his mind. Deciding not to ask as it might sound as though she was cross examining him, which she'd love to do she said gently. "Drink your tea and eat your biscuit or as Joan, that's my Mum calls them cookies … she baked those for you as she knows you like them. You've got a photo album in your bag, show her and some of the things you've done over the last couple of days we'll go through it when you wish."

Seeing Ben pick up his mug and give a little nod then take a sip tea she was reassured that this was what he wanted and carried on. "Later we can add photos of here so they will remind you where you are. We are just outside Sunset Beach and this is a garden centre. Last night you and I were meeting at the Shock Wave where my parents work and something possibly part of an old memory made you want to find somewhere safe to think things out. I brought you here as you didn't want to go back to the Mission with Father Antonio where you had been staying. We are in the process of buying the garden centre off Jenny so you are right she's the boss."

As he'd stopped drinking his tea and was watching her Meg decided that was enough information for him for the moment so she picked up her mug and took a sip then a bite from her mother's cookie and looked down the garden towards the chalet, hoping Ben would do the same. As she carried on doing it she had the strange calming feeling that sitting enjoying the early morning sun beside him was right and though she didn't look at him she knew he was doing the same and wondered what he was thinking … after a moment got her answer.

Meg's voice and her words fascinated Ben and some words hit a hint of a cord and started to stir an impression or two and woke up some knowledge, when he saw she'd finished he copied her. By the time he'd finished his biscuit and drank more of his tea the whispers of two impressions had got clearer but not complete and the implications collided in his mind. … One was of a different garden and Meg was working beside him, but he signed rather than spoke to her and found out she had a boyfriend and that was their house and garden. The other one made his heart race and was of a butterfly kiss and disconnected words "I want to be here and I love you" which asked the question had he stolen her from her boyfriend and couldn't remember either. Or were they all friends and was she just a helper … helping him … and that butterfly kiss he'd felt and her words were his tangled mind playing him up again … it was a different Meg who'd kissed him or it was just a dream … his private wish that would never happen.

After all, he kept on hearing a girl's laughter … could even sense her enough to expect her to run up to him … touch his arm and he knew her. … But each time he turned to her laughter … she wasn't there... no one was there … and there was the point he could not remember her name or face either. Nor was it a child playing tricks she wasn't behind in the wood pile as he'd thought the last time he'd heard her it was too small and he'd just built it.

The need for answers to these awkward questions out weighted his fear that he might shock or frighten her or have soul crushing answer that he was mad, so he made a tentative start with a comment. "Your boyfriend must be very tolerant to allow you to sleep in the chalet with me."

Meg felt a ripple of surprise and shock … she certainly not expected that one and turned to face Ben and said gently with love hearing the anxiety in his voice. "I have nothing to fear from him Ben because he's you. You **are** my boyfriend."

He looked at her taking in her words along with the love and reassurance in them … and decided that the whisper of wife he'd heard in his mind must have been future thinking and smiled as he asked gently and hopefully. "We kissed last night was that a dream or real?"

She gave a gentle laugh and put her mug down then put her hand out to him as she said. "Yes we kissed a butterfly kiss. I hoped you would remember it as you fell asleep … later I wondered if it was the right thing to do as you might not remember everything about it … about us. When I touch you I feel the warmth of our love and I know you will feel the same."

She felt the warmth of his hand as it found hers as well **that** familiar feeling he gave her and saw him nod as he silently looked at her, and wondered if it was a yes she did the right thing, or yes he could feel their love in their touch and decided it didn't matter. Just as she was going to go on to explain further Ben's very tentative "I keep hearing a young girl's laughter and turn expecting to see her but she's not there nor is the pond. … I get the feeling if I build a pond she will come and I can put things right. … Do you think Jenny will mind if I build a small pond … she said something about putting things on a tab?" stopped her.

Meg shook her head amazed, her words must have got through to him last night and immediately realised he could misread her reaction and said gently. "It's okay. We can build the pond and you're not going daft if that's what you think. Her laugh could be from a memory her name is Betsy you knew her while you were away from us. I suspect your memories of Sunset Beach are crowding the ones of her out. When you talked to Father Antonio and Doctor Tyus Robinson you thought she had died and it troubled you. Last night when I rang my mother she told me Betsy is fine. She will be with Helen, Tim and Bob when they see Jude later this morning, and then if he is satisfied with everything is all right and you want it they will come and see us in the afternoon or when you want them to. Because it worried you I told you last night as you slept that she was alive and was coming to see us I'm sorry if it caused you any confusion."

Ben paused as a mixture of impressions and knowledge started to click into place, but some were too quick to catch hold look into or sort out. Most were there just long enough to know things were okay … not as confused as usual … and said. "No I think it sorted a few things out while I slept rather than me blacking out on finding out. … I think I used have confused dreams but nothing stayed when I woke now I think some things do or will." He got a fleeting feeling of something else and remembering her earlier words added. "So Jenny owns the garden centre?"

Meg thought she heard a very gentle tease in his voice in his last words and wondered about it. It sounded as though he knew something she didn't … in nice way but she wasn't going to push that one. Then again it could be he just forgot it and needed to be reminded … of course he chose a complicated one didn't he. She could say just yes and leave it there or tell the truth. She knew which and started hesitatingly. "Not quite ... her father handed the running of it over to her last year when he had a stroke and she's selling it on his behalf so they can move to another business with easier accommodation and to be near her sister. … And I'm buying it on your behalf with your money. There's still some paper work etc to be done and a manager to find. So really she is the outgoing owner and you will be the new owner. But for now you can relax and enjoy working in the garden as you untangle those memories. Jude is the only one who knows where we are, others think you are at the Mission my family know we are safe and together and that's how it will stay till you want it changed."

He nodded knowing it felt right and he shouldn't try and push for anything else, he need space and quiet to let everything settle so let go of her hand and got up.

Meg knew he'd had enough and hoped he'd not gone silent on her but wouldn't blame him if he did and asked gently. "Can I help for a while?"

He turned to her as he took the jumper off his shoulders and worked the stiffness out of them and said "I need to finish chopping then tidy up round here after that I'll start the fire, it should burn the greener stuff without too much smoke."

She knew that tone they were back to business not in memories and said. "Fine I'll start tidying up over here if you go and finish dealing with the tree. My dad used to chop trees so I know about safe distances." She saw his nod and leaving the mugs there she got up and started work knowing he would do the same.

Enjoying being near him as she worked Meg enjoyed hearing the rhythmic thwack of chopping wood and it threw back to life on the farm in Kansas reminding her just how much she enjoyed the peace of it all as she worked with her parents. She also knew that she enjoyed the buzz her life at Sunset Beach gave her and began to wonder if they could combine the two … run the garden centre and live at the new home. … After all he wanted to own the garden centre and it would be like Sunset Sisters on a bigger scale with plants and other bits and pieces. It would mean he'd either sell or be a sleeping partner in The Deep and the Java Web, the Liberty Corp was done part time anyway and she'd have to see Sara about the shop. She stopped her daydreaming thoughts realising she could not even give him a hint of her thoughts till he had got his own memories and ideas stable and knew his plans.

All too quickly the jobs were done and Meg found herself watching Ben take out a box of matches from his bag then crouch down to light the fire. It caught first time with a small amount of smoke as the sticks started to burn, then when it was strong enough he added a mixture of dead wood and greener bits, the smoke came but not enough to trouble anyone. Just as he said he'd done this before obviously … Her growling stomach made her looked at her watch … it was only quarter to seven but it felt much later.

Now she was in a quandary she needed to wash and find out when Jenny was coming over but didn't want to leave Ben with the fire even he knew what he was doing and decided just to ask and hope he would come. "Ben I'm going to see if Jenny's around so we can rustle up an early breakfast, why don't you come and rest for a while as you were up so early?"

Ben turned his attention away from the fire as he said. "Breakfast sounds good but I'll be fine here."

She recognised that gentle stubborn edge to his voice but couldn't get the picture out of her head of him unconscious on the grass in the other garden. … He admitted his mind was tangled and she had told him things that must have been going through his mind or would be now he finished chopping wood and starting the fire. Anyone of those things she told him could trigger blackouts and she'd be on the phone in the hallway out of sight away from him, she panicked and ordered him. "**Ben**, while I'm in the chalet I want you down there and away from the fire. You've done it so it can be left for a while so that will be all right."

Ben stopped and looked at her puzzled by her tone, then gave a slow smile as a bit of memory clicked in. But that was of a different lady, a different garden and she'd stopped him cooking food on a fire too, which was strange because he knew he was safe around fires. They'd kept him warm in the bitter cold and he would cook food on it quiet safely. But Meg needed reassuring so he said. "I'm fine; I've been around fires for a while without blacking out on them." Then he came over to her and said knowing he could trust her. "I don't understand it but when I'm near or in a building I feel as though I'm trapped or I'm going to be trapped if I go in … not going to be able to get out or be let out of it … and there's a feeling of being betrayed by people very close to me...so I'm better up here where I don't feel that."

Thinking his words over Meg came to one conclusion and said gentle putting her hand on his arm hoping it would give him support if he needed it. "You were trapped in a building when there was an earthquake …a lot of us were. We were all scared at the time but everyone close to you got out and were safe. You've also been kidnapped … three times each time someone stopped you from getting out of the building or room."

She hesitated deciding not to mention the coffin and the mortuary assistant but if he remembered she'd confirm it. "You most probably feel betrayed by people close to you because your brother was the one who kidnapped you twice and at times your close friends have unwittingly left you alone when you might have needed help because they believed you were coping all right."

Watching him closely wondering if she'd said too much and was ready to admit that she failed him, she saw a nod and then that familiar slow smile which this time reached his eyes and felt her heart miss a beat by the gentleness of his voice when he spoke.

As Ben listened to her words reasons clicked into place though not all the memories around them, it was mainly the feeling it was a reasonable answer to his fears, there was also a deeper understanding of her when she said close friends had left him. And with that understanding he knew she needed reassurance even if he didn't understand all the ins and outs of it and said. "Meg, I may not remember everything of my past but I trust you and I know that you and my friends did not fail me. Deep down I know you needed space to get over things and show your love for me, and I was willing to give you that space. I guess that space has just been a little longer than I'd planned. I can see you are worried for me so I'll bank the fire and do some digging … I'll be fine. By talking to you and being around you I've become much steadier in myself."

Meg felt as though he'd read her mind just as he used to do and smiled then sighed and knew she had to give him space, give him the trust he needed. She nodded and got a half smile and nod back and then he turned to attend the fire. She knew she couldn't stand and wait for him to do it so went over to picked the mugs up and walk slowly down the path resisting the temptation to look back to make sure he was okay and was going to his next job. Getting down to the chalet door she gave in and looked round and smiled … Yes he'd left the fire and was starting on what she guessed was going to be the pond.

oxoxo

Meg had just rinsed her hands when the phone rang, she quickly dried them knowing it would be Jenny and picked the phone up and said brightly. "Morning Jenny."

"Hi who's up early and setting light to the property I can see smoke."

"Ben he's got the old tree down and wants breakfast." Meg said with a laugh hearing the sleepy tease rather than worry in Jenny's voice.

"**Hell!** Meg what time did he start!" Jenny said wide-awake now.

Meg smiled to herself and decided not to tell her everything just yet and said. "Early and I slept through it till the tree came down. He is nearly back and talking."

"Oh that's great." Jenny said with real happiness guessing he was back in himself but not all his memories and knowing time constraints said seriously. "I'll be over with eggs, bacon and bread and other bits and pieces. You know you've got guardian angels don't you?"

"Yes, how did hubby like having guests?"

Jenny chuckled and added softly. "He thought he was going to be breathalysed at the gate."

"No!" Meg exclaimed smothering a giggle.

"Poor lad ... Good cover though … you know Jude's very nice, even if he didn't like my suggestion that his officers go undercover as daisies or gnomes as they check people in through the gate."

Meg could not stop her giggles just picturing the officers in the costumes.

Jenny was also laughing remembering Jude's expression as he creased up; when she got her breath back she carried on. "Yeah poor lad couldn't stop laughing either. We're having a members and coach party day and at least one officer will be on the gate in ordinary clothes I hasten to add, and one milling around inside and one or two hidden on the roadside. He reckons there be some press interest here, as it will get out you are buying the place. He's put a car outside the Mission and your house as well. Amongst other things he brought over Ben's pills with a note saying if Ben doesn't take them don't worry the most important thing is he stays doesn't run. Tyus will come out if that cough sounds worse I explained about my cough mixture and that got the thumbs up so will bring some over how is it by the way."

"He says his coughs getting better; I've not heard it yet."

"Right, you know that's tempting fate, he'll be spluttering like mad in a moment. I'll catch up on some details when I come over which will be in a little while, hubby can oversee the kids but I will have to get back. Is there anything else you need?"

Meg smiled remembering Ben's request and said cheekily. "Oh just a pond to sit by."

"**Hell!** that boy doesn't think small does he!… how big? No don't answer that I'll see the size and think about it. At least there's a tap and hose otherwise you'd be humping buckets."

Meg laughed and they signed off through their laughter, she put the phone back then went back to the lounge area to check on Ben. She'd found the handset was a cordless one so had stayed in the back of the lounge area and watched Ben as she talked. Now she put two of the casual chairs out so they were away from the building and went over to Ben who was working hard. He stopped and turned towards her and the look he gave was a subtle cheeky 'I've been good and stayed away from the fire' and nearly knocked her off her feet and he held the spade out to her.

She laughed taking the silent hint, she could do some more clearing he'd done the difficult bits and now she was there he would no doubt check the fire and then join her as there was another spade. Taking the spade from him she noticed his expression changed to a more serious troubled one and wondered what tumbling thoughts had caught him out and if he was silent, as he'd not said anything, his body language was saying it.

Ben liked her laugh and as her hand gently brush his he knew he had to explain what was going on in his mind and hoped she'd understand and started to explain. "I remember bits of last night but I don't know why I felt the need to protect you or Benjy or stay away from the Mission and Antonio. I suppose it was just tangled memories of my kidnapping and past … they don't connect or seem to be in any order … though I think that might be starting to change ... but there large gaps as well.

I don't remember everything about Antonio but I do **know** I need to talk to him … tell him I trust him because I know I do and I believe he's been good to me. … I still have this strong feeling for privacy and to be here rather than the Mission. Do you think I could I ring him on your phone rather than the one in the chalet." He gave a sigh and admitted. "Though we've talked about my fear of buildings and I know I'm safe with you I really can't stay inside other than go to the bathroom."

Meg smiled hardly believing how much he was improving and as she wasn't sure how far the handset would work from its base said reassuringly. "I understand and so will he … he's been with you for the passed two days and knows you, knows you trust him as you trust me. Why don't you sit on one of the seats I brought out or on one of the logs you've put out as seats while I get my phone and check the battery? Jenny's brining my charger over so if it's down you can ring later."

She saw the nod and felt the spade gentle taken from her grasp and watched him start to walk towards the lower log seat and then turned and walked quickly into the chalet knowing Antonio was going to have his morning made.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

Patrick smiled his thanks to the beautiful brunette behind the reception desk and walked out of the hotel lobby to get to the car park a short walk away. Usually he hated 6.30 am wake up calls when off duty and technically he was off duty **but** as this case just got more intriguing as the hours rolled by **and** as he wanted to be in Sunset Beach when the family rolled in he accepted it.

He toyed again with the idea of finding Sy, see if she decided to see her parents and needed a lift. He could spare the few minutes it would take … after all he knew a bit about her and where her Uncle John lives, he'd already emailed Jude with his new findings … what's more been good not trodden on any toes … well as far as he knew that was and in a town this size he reckon he'd know pretty quick.

As the hotel was not converted to computer terminals … work on that would start two hours after he left … to miss it by a whisker felt like a personal snub. The small internet café … well had been way too public so it was the library, which stayed open late last night and what was better it had all types of facilities. After that as it was a nice evening he strolled to the church and let the warden talk as they stood by the graves of Betsy's parents and past relations. …You soon found out who was respected and who was neglected in the town.

In this case the warden took him straight to the graves without looking up any plans or hesitation and they were nicely kept with fresh flowers. The warden was of the old guard who spoke with respect about the family's fortunes and misfortunes, when gently pushed he confirmed the brother's trucking company was closing in the next day or so, and Bob was considered a 'light worker with itchy feet' would come and go do odd jobs between the two families when down on his luck. And that no one was really surprised that the family with Betsy were thinking of moving on rather than staying in town.

As he'd listened to the man he'd realised if Jude was right about Bob being Special Ops then the cover story was very good. It allowed space of movement and privacy if wounded, as well as easy police protection from the highest quarter if needed. His sister and her husband were well respected doctors. The family were not running away from any obvious dirty deed, they were just cutting their losses and moving on if something came up if not then they would stay in town.

Of course, it hadn't helped him find out when Ben turned up or what state he was in as the warden had gently ignored the photo he'd offered with the excuse his reading glasses were being repaired and he needed to go a pick them up. Patrick wasn't daft, he knew it was a nice way of ending the conversation so gently pointed out it was way past closing time … without the usual hints of a cover story it came out the man's brother in law was the local optician. So with comfortable companionship they'd left the low lit graves and walked down the street till they got to the optician's where the warden knocked on the door and was greeted with a hug from his sister exclaiming night cap and glasses were inside along with their other halves who were wondering if they should send out a search party or not as bell ringing had ended a while ago. Yep, small towns were great like that … along with no traffic jams to get to work.

Thinking about things he hadn't been too sure whether what he'd found out was good news or bad. Ben's business venture wasn't the farm that was a dying duck beginning of January and dead in the water February … as far as he could tell the brother's trucking business collapse was too recent to count. So the email warning of big withdrawal due to business idea had to be up north not here. If Ben had been here in December things might have been different but not a lot, the farm was doomed anyway.

No the only thing worth saving was the house providing it was moved bodily to somewhere else, which Ben could have arranged easily … called Charles who would have been here like shot and growled at the large Corp. about improving the access and found a firm to do the work. Unless of course Bob out of desperation did a scam on it and it failed … Ben would have been feeding the crops not walking the streets. Unless of course he really was the cat he seemed to be … and hadn't used up his nine lives yet. In which case Jude would have to be very careful bringing the two men together … but he'd covered that in his email so that should be okay.

Trouble with that theory was he hadn't seen any fight for the land or house it looked as though they knew they were beaten and were trying to leave with pride intact. It had been a classic case of the big Corp. swallowing up the other farms first and they were the last in line so got a low price for land and the house well that was a liability. There had been a promise of a roof over their heads till a new home was found now that was being called in because the harvest was due and big machinery would churn up the drive as they drove across it once the weak wire fence was taken up.

They had had no choice really the money for the land had gone to pay debts leaving a small amount to start elsewhere. As it was a small town the two doctors could not increase their part time work till someone left and there was Betsy's future to think of. Her parents' insurance cover brought nothing as the company nit picked about the claim and went out of business without warning. Without money to pay lawyers to fight the case they would have to wait with all the other people in the hope there would be a couple of cents sometime in the future.

Yeah he'd heard that one before so it looked as though the family decided to make … … Patrick came out of his musings realising he didn't need to find Sy and smiled trying not to hesitate to show his surprise.

She was there waiting for him, not by his car but draped seductively across the bonnet of his car. There were two snags though one she wasn't dressed in the low cut clothes the models wore in the magazine shots … no she was wearing a close fitting trouser suit which he had to admit looked great.

And the other … was her damn minder sat in the police car and next to his, which could mean this was a new way of arresting FBI Agents who'd stepped out of line … **but** on the other hand the man was out of uniform and smiling so perhaps not. Trying hard to sound serious yet casual rather than a man drowning in thoughts of **all** possibilities he asked. "Do you do this to everyone Sy?"

Sy shook her head and laughed then very ladylike slid off the bonnet and waited knowing full well that Patrick would come to the car and her luggage would be unloaded for her from the other one.

Patrick watched her move pleased the car was clean and was trying to get his senses going in the right direction … especially as her laugh was nice and was sending ripples through him. So he did the obvious and concentrated on the minder knowing full well no one kept the Police Chief hanging around a car park on a whim and asked Sy. "How did you know I was leaving this early?"

Sy flashed a brilliant innocent smile and said "A little bird told me." then turned serious but could not resist a tease at the end after all she liked the man. "Mum needs her files by personal carrier as they are very very confidential. So I accept your generous offer and in case you are wondering Mister FBI man you're not going to peak either."

Truth be told the smile and gentle tease that could be taken two ways nearly got him, **but** he was wise knew all about being knocked off his feet by beautiful scheming woman from both sides of the law, and knew they were definitely not the weaker sex. So far though everything about her felt genuine and he was willing to play along with his feet firmly on the ground and smiled then answered back likewise. "Yeah right. … **So** the lovely brunette who deals out early wake up calls and late night orders sung. … **Well**, we can't disappoint Mum or my boss now can we, **and** as I hate travelling alone I'll let you come."

He opened the trunk of his car and put his bags in and saw what was coming out of the other car … the bag of files plus what looked like a lap top and three or four other cases and possibly a coat and turned back to Sy with a very innocent expression and said. "Moving house as well I see." Then deciding to help with the loading up after all a collapsed police chief in the car park was **not** a good idea and those cases did look heavy.

Sy laughed and said "Oh just a bit to wear and just a few things for the family to replace the things they've lost. Did think about Edward the four foot to five foot teddy for Betsy then decided against it."

Ignored the snorts that came from both men she turned to her friend who'd stopped loading and was looking at her. She sighed and said feeling tight with emotion and truth "I hate goodbyes, thanks for your help." And reluctantly held out what she'd been holding tight in her hand as she carried on, knowing they would be gone forever once she let them go. "Here are the keys to home … John will need them for the packing people. … I know you'll help him … I'll be in touch when I've talked to Mum."

They hugged and broke with soft a 'take care' from each and Sy watched him walk back to the police car then sighing turned to Patrick who had just finished loading up and said. "I need to be at Sunset Beach Police station by 11 am to meet the family if their van holds out."

Patrick closed the trunk down and replied. "Okay I can cope with that. But I'll just warn base you are coming so they can tell your parents if they should ring in." and took his phone out and left a message for Jude to pick up later, knowing this would also act as a safe guard in case she was not as innocent as she seemed. He then tucked the phone away and opened the door for her and as she slid in added with a smile. "As you know this area perhaps you can navigate save us getting lost."

Patrick heard the slight tension in Sy's laugh as he walked round to the driver's side and got in then asked gently. "How's the family?" the switched the engine on and got ready to leave the car park, leaving the police car behind them.

Sy sighed, which made Patrick smile realising just how apt her nickname was, and it was a lovely gentle heartfelt sigh and listened to her instructions. "Left out of here then take the first right and then second left. Not good really everything seems to be going down hill fast with no breaks.

Once the house is empty the bulldozers will go in, it didn't stand a chance I mean who would live there with that damn crop outside and a huge rent for the driveway, which would be churned up every sowing and ploughing time. The packing people say it will take two days to do the whole complex and given a possible date of early next week John's got to ring the firm this morning to check it then he'll call me as Mum's not on the phone … we both know it will be go ahead. Then I'll have to tell her and she'll have to ring John etc."

She sighed again paused trying to fight all her feelings and then carried on finding it a relief to talk to someone not involved. "I've had to arrange for my stuff which is coming over from Europe to be stored elsewhere as John's business has collapsed completely which means he's lost everything so he and family will move in with Uncle Bert … that's the police chief. John's wife is his niece but their house is small so everything but essentials will have to be stored as well. The whole lot homeless now … well as good as."

"Oh right." Patrick said gently anything else that came to mind sounded trite and he wasn't going to push about Bob's state, and couldn't help his gentle laugh as Sy sighed again.

Hearing Patrick's gentle laugh made Sy realise what she'd done and smiled then said. "Guess they are right about my nickname ... its worse when I get emotional, which I am at the moment." She took a break for air trying to hide another sigh and the lump in her throat, and saw something that could distract her and not Patrick as no one could miss it as they drove by and commented "That burnt out wreck of a house has been there nearly three years … it's lived in … the downstairs outside front rooms on each end. What a sight to greet you as you enter town or leave as in our case."

It certainly was a depressing sight and Patrick also noticed they were going a different way from the one he'd come last night and realised she hadn't wanted to pass her family home for the last time so ending an era and asked. "What's the history?"

Sy brightened a bit it was a juicy tale. "Mum and two adult sons lived there, she owned the house, when she died the Will stated that the house should be divided in half as in right and left half as they'd never agree who has upstairs or downstairs and a Judge had to say which had which. Or they could sell if they both talked to each other and agreed it was what they wanted and the price was right. There was a time limit of twenty days or it would be sold for two dollars and they would have one each."

At Patrick's gentle exclamation. "Really?"

Sy nodded and admitted from memory. "They were a weird family husband included, some say the boys have never spoken to each other and others said they did once or twice but only when they argued. Of course one wanted to stay the other wanted to sell and neither would talk to the other to sort things out. On the final day they managed to say they would stay and the house was partitioned down the middle only the wooden stairs stayed as they were because they were narrow.

They settled into life, the story goes that on the day of the fire they both got distracted … one was in the garden dumping rubbish out back and the other one answered his house phone which was near the front door. They were both using deep fryers on the stoves; a wooden panel that divided the kitchen ran between the cookers so that lot went up along with the wooden stairs and upper floor along with part of the roof. Rumour has it they never used upstairs as they didn't want to meet on the stairs so all their stuff were the two outside front rooms which were saved from damage as the doors were closed. The one on the phone rang the fire station which is just round the corner so they were pretty quick and the one in the garden grabbed the hose and tried to put it out.

No doubt the insurance company and the police asked questions, no arrests were made; don't know if any money was paid out. If they didn't that's most probably why nothing has been done. If they did well both would have to agree to the work and as you can imagine they aren't talking to each and now the judge has given up on them doing anything to the house."

Suddenly seeing a picture in her mind Sy gave a gentle wistful laugh then carried on sensing he wouldn't mock her. "I wonder if our house would like it there, assuming we could offer the brothers something they could not refuse and then move it there of course. … Certainly have a different view from the one now … but that takes money and time, which we don't have."

Patrick smiled thinking back over his previous thoughts with a new one creeping in … if Ben was involved and everything was above board he could still save it … and said casually. "You got a few days yet things might change."

Sy looked at him and gave a small shake of her head and sighed then exclaimed. "Yeah and pigs fly I know!"

Patrick knew she was looking at but kept his eyes on the road and could not resist a gentle comeback added. "Yeah in planes." then added as they were coming to an unmarked junction. "Right or left."

Sy came back to earth, looked around and realised where they were and said. "Oh! Right … as in right hand road then stay on it and we should meet the freeway." Realising she'd not been on this road for rather a long time and things happen to minor roads sometimes...

"Hopefully?" Patrick gently questioned sensing more than a slight hesitation in Sy's voice. He took it anyway, reasoning they were heading in the right direction and most roads met with the freeway in the end … just might not be straight away ... or was she worried it was a dead end …

Sy laughed suddenly feeling much better and said positively. "Okay … **Yes** we **will** meet the freeway very soon." Then raised her hand and started to count things off as she said. "**So,** all we have to do in the next few days is to look for someone who would buy and flatten the burnt out wreck successfully. … **Buy** my family home off the evil Corp. … **Could** either, move the house brick by brick or shore it up and put it on a wagon and move across town. …**Therefore** must have several million dollars to throw away … **And** last but not least would offer it free of charge to John and Sandra so they could stay and run it as a hotel, which they've never done before." Giving a hint of a sigh she added forcefully. "**Then** Mister FBI man your pigs can fly."

Patrick chuckled glad she was perking up and nodded hoping wouldn't she wouldn't insist on his pigs actually flying if his supposition from his quick profile of the man was right. And realised he hadn't actually said his pigs were real ones … **so** they could fly … if of course she settled for little fluffy plain or multicoloured ones and a short trip to Hawaii perhaps. …

A truck coming towards them hooting 'hi' to the van in front them made him come back to full concentration. … He had work to do and guard to keep up … just because she had been out of the country didn't mean she couldn't be part of a family cover up after the fact … whatever that fact had been he also wanted to get back to where the action was going to be safely.

oxoxox

Comments are welcomed.


	27. Chapter 27

Coetzer123 ... Thanks for your review.

oxoxo

**Chapter 27**

Just before 8.45 am Ricardo walked into Sunset Beach police station and stopped … there was organised chaos which meant they were either going to raid somewhere to rescue or arrest someone. Well he knew someone needed arresting after last night efforts and saw Jude, nodded 'morning' then waited noticing the man though looking tired looked fairly happy about something … so it had to be something good as far as they were concerned going down.

As soon as Jude finished talking to the officers he walked over saying. "Ricardo I thought you'd be sleeping or having quality time at home."

Ricardo gave a snort of disgust replying. "Fat chance, catnapped for a while then my brain wouldn't stop working. Have you ever tried creeping round the house while others sleep? Everything you do seems to make a loud noise. So I gave up, left a note and disconnected the phone, will pick them up later for the shopping do. Of course it didn't help I wanted to know how Ben was and you're not the easiest person to track down **but** I can sort of see why now." He added with a slight nod in the direction of the dispersing officers hoping Jude would tell him all.

Jude smiled knowing from creeping around his suite while Annie slept it was difficult and hoped the large envelope Ricardo was holding was something to do with the ATM blond. And showed him into the spare office closed the door then sat on the table as the chair would be too comfortable at the moment and said. "Reckon Ben was in the best place last night. He's fine by the way even rang Antonio this morning and explained he can't remember what spooked him but still needs privacy with Meg rather than the Mission."

"Really!" Ricardo exclaimed extremely relieved and pleased for his brother's sake knowing how hard he'd taken last night's exodus.

Jude chuckled knowing the feeling he'd had when Antonio rang with the news and then went on seriously. "Yes and in view of last night episode we are saying Tyus gave Ben a mild sleeping pill before it started and he's still sleeping. If you've tried to ring Antonio using the Mission line you know the phones are out of order."

Ricardo nodded "I didn't try his personal phone in case he was sleeping."

Jude smiled and explained. "It's only for short time; we caught a couple of newspaper reporters trying to climb the wall and a phone post. As we don't want a lot of visible policemen around there yet some 'phone men' are trying to find a fault and will nab more culprits if they appear. We'll review the situation after we've dealt with this other business. We did think about gas or electric fault and close the road but you know what chaos that could cause so this is the easy option.

Not waiting for Ricardo's nod he carried on. "You know if that article in the paper was meant to turn people against Ben its back fired. … Well amongst the locals anyway … they are feeling very protective about the Mission and one family has already offered the Priests their house and phone for the day. No one's complained about the equipment being in the way in fact the workmen have had knowing smiles and nods, from passers by walking and driving which is bugging them no end. I'm guessing if they stay there too long they will get stuffed with coffee and cakes."

At Ricardo's snort of a laugh Jude carried on his briefing knowing he would understand the jumps he would make. "Paul and co. could not find any sign of Simple Simon last night even though the chat rooms were busy. He's now going to go through firework companies to see if those set off last night can be traced in any way. We know they are not from the stolen batch, those were basic firecrackers the ones last night's were definitely not."

That had been Ricardo's conclusion and had brought on another fear which he didn't want to mention at the moment and asked. "You couldn't find out where they were set off from."

"No, believe or not there were only four rockets but each had six bangs with colours, they went up without a whoosh so the first thing was the bang and colours and there was that tantalising gap between each, which left you wondering whether or not there was another. There were patrol sightings and some photos so we managed to get sequence of colours and will send them of to the firms through emails. They reckon either the beach or the park as no one has rung up to complain about him or her next door keeping them awake.

The beach is long and patrolled and no one reported seeing sparks as the rockets were lit of course someone just needed to wait till the patrol went by. The park is locked up at night and the guard walks the dog round before he locks up, which he did last nigh without incidence, mind dog's not trained for fireworks just people hiding in bushes. He's let us have the tapes for last night and we'll check them when we have time and a good reason. If you're thinking the same as me we've got to prove this was aimed at Ben and it was not just a party or a drunk having fun if we are going to bring a case before the courts."

Ricardo nodded and let him carry on.

"I've asked the chief to contact the editor about the source of the article but I doubt if we'll get anywhere about the source, I'm pretty sure it's come from the 'good' doctor even though she should not have known about Ben. We are expecting a formal complaint sometime this morning that Ben should be kept at Cedar Oaks in view of last night. She'll either do it or through two members of the public the DA is going to look into whether we can insist on knowing who they are."

Jude paused knowing he had to be careful about this next statement but could see Ricardo getting edgy possibly already there in thought and said "I know you've got issues regarding Rodney and his feelings about Ben and Maria's past together. But he's in the clear for last night's effort. … After he and Maria went to the theatre the group went back to the rented house and the guest didn't go till well after 3 am."

Ricardo was surprised and asked. "You had them followed."

Jude smiled. "Not actually followed more like checked up on … as I would with anyone else involved in the case. It was made easier as a new officer lives nearby so had a good view of the house and road. So what's in the envelope?"

Ricardo felt relieved Jude had understood his fears and they were groundless … Rodney was all right. And got the photos out and put them on the table beside Jude so he could look at them and explained. "I put the photo from the ATM through the computer program as promised and as we couldn't sleep I tried sketches to photo image programme which takes time but as you see is quite impressive. They are the id sketches of Ben's suspected jailer we had to discount the hair due to the wigs and the last one is what the programme gave as a possible composition taking all the common points and bringing them together. Reckon we could check them against the ones in main computer."

Jude looked through them and studied them and nodded. "Right we can definitely use the woman's photo now it's improved. It will take awhile even if she's got a record … Paul and the IT officer are using the machines at the moment so I'll slip them a note and with luck we'll know by lunch time one way or the other. These photos from the sketches are a good idea we can put them in and see what it throws up though I wouldn't hold my breath for it.

Of course we could send them back to Seattle and see what they think … it's their open case regarding arson after all. If you want to find a home for that programme we could use it here or you could keep it and we'll use it through our link."

Ricardo thought for a moment and remembered the other uses. "Sounds good, you can also alter the age of the person as well about stripping down a photo but haven't got that far into the programme for those. **So** what's the chaos if it's not Ben related."

Jude smiled "Your work has paid off and we are springing the trap, should be back here with murderer in tow before you need to collect Gabi and co." he paused and looked at Ricardo and said with genuine warmth. "If it's not like rubbing salt in your wounds you can come with me but you'll have to stay in the car."

Ricardo gave a slow smiled "No I'm sure I can sit and watch you do the arrest … thank you."

Jude nodded and continued. "Good, after shopping and an early lunch come in check through progress that has taken place on the case and anything the family's left us. I might have taken them to Ben if things are all right. Patrick's bringing the daughter and confidential notes; she's meeting her family here at 11."

"So what are you thinking regarding the farm and family?" Sensing there had been changes over night.

Jude sighed. "Melting pot actually if you get time you can read Patrick's report for a better idea before you go shopping if not then afterwards when you are with Paul. We can't disregard the family and a scam gone wrong … they've certainly hit rock bottom. But we've also got to contemplate it might have been just another stopping off point for Ben as a traveller not the starting point. The ATM blond back in February could be that if Ben didn't give her permission to use the card, hopefully we'll trace her from records police or driving licence of course if it's out State or other records it will take longer. If we get hit we'll be able to trace Ben's earlier movements.

Ben could have started a one man business and was travelling around and ended down south and called in at the farm because he needed help getting over his brother's death. They are well respected and qualified doctors, they've also got a Police Chief in the family circle **but** that doesn't blind me to the other possibilities. We'll be treading carefully as we might want him on our side regarding searches for Ben's car etc. In view this I want you and Paul to go over everything again and we'll put Ben's car reg. in system and see what it throws up after I've seen the family if need be. There's a possibility it's in one of their outbuildings and there might be a very good reason why they've not contacted us about Ben."

"Right" Ricardo said slowly understanding all the implications then added. "How is Ben's memory coming along apart from last night's do?"

Jude smiled and laughed. "I've written some notes regarding your brother's call briefly he feels more confident in his memories he knows they are but he doesn't remember them. He knows Meg on one level but not that they were lovers, she's told him he's her boyfriend and he accepts it. Of course he can still lose it all in seconds, but I reckon he'll unconsciously protect her from the worst of things that might have happened to him. … It's a pity we can't get Antonio out there and then Ben can have both of them to chat too, but it's too risky and I need him here later anyway. At least Ben didn't blackout last night, which is good, and he's going to put a pond in the garden so he can get Betsy back."

He saw Ricardo's look and explained knowing how it sounded. "He's knows she alive and has been hearing her laugh and feeling as though she's behind him but can't see her and he doesn't actually remember her just knows he knows her. … Yeah I know, **but** Tyus is happy about it … says it's a step forward both lots of memories coming out not just Sunset Beach ones." He gave a sigh adding. "Mind you we both know someone would love to hear about it and use it against him. So we are keeping that information under our hats. He still hates buildings and reluctantly took his pill this morning but he took and seems happy around Jenny as well which is good. Oh yes he's been up since the crack of dawn."

Ricardo shook his head and said. "Know the feeling, glad I'm not looking after him."

Jude smiled and there was knocking at the door and an officer popped his head round and announced. "We are rolling."

"Fine, take this to Paul for me." Jude said putting the photos in the envelope with a note and handing it to the officer then turned to Ricardo. "As this idea has worked well the boss is thinking of bringing you in under the umbrella of our CSI group and you could add to your skills as well … possibly make it full time eventually. In the meantime we'd make sure it didn't conflict with your other job of course. You would automatically have an officer with you if you're out in the field, shouldn't be dangerous as you would be there after the crime had been committed and a lot of it will be office based. You'll be reporting to a case officer, likely to be on shift call up I suspect you'll choose daytime rather than night and we'll check rates of pay for you later."

Ricardo liked the idea and didn't think Gabi would mind and as he followed Jude out he decided he needed to clear something else with him and said quietly. "Yeah definitely like the idea. You said yesterday I could talk to you as a friend and it's about Maria."

Jude knew the tone and said without hesitation. "Okay, give me a hint as no one is around."

"Maria was married and divorced before she met Ben, the man is dead by the way but the more I think of it the more I want to check it out."

Totally surprised by that one Jude stopped and looked at Ricardo asked "Really?"

Ricardo nodded, knowing which part the really referred to, and they walked on in silence to the car, once inside and driving with the police radio chatting in the background Jude said. "Before you explain let me say you **can't** investigate this or Rodney you've promised Maria you would leave both alone."

Jude held his hand up to stop Ricardo jumping in and carried on quickly. "You can't risk another break up with her … I trust you and your cop instinct and if it should say investigate then you tell an officer you trust or myself and let us deal with it. That way you will not be breaking her trust because we will be getting the information. We'll swap information, get this done then you'll be with Gabi and we'll see how thing run from there okay."

"Okay" Ricardo said with a smile fully understanding the trust he was being given, and feeling that familiar rush of an arrest about to be made, and listened to Jude's plan of action to trap the murderer.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

Having got Meg's attention Jenny waited by the gate and looked around the garden amazed at the amount of work done since she'd left them just after breakfast and reckoned Meg must be feeling at least a little achy and not seeing Ben anywhere asked "Everything okay?" as Meg joined her.

Noting her concern Meg answered quickly. "Yes thanks. Ben's asleep on the lawn where we put the rug and sleeping bags earlier." with half a smile she added. "As you can see we've been a little busy, luckily he did the hard stuff."

Jenny smiled at the understatement and with relief that there hadn't been a crisis asked. "Do you think he'll mind if we lay the pond lining and stones as its ready? … The workers will be very quiet."

Meg hesitated for a moment then stepped back to allow Jenny in and spoke her thoughts. "To be honest I don't know … I know we discussed it at breakfast but I'm not sure when he'll wake or what he'll remember." She pondered the idea and commented. "I suppose if we photograph the progress it should be all right."

Jenny nodded and waved the two men with the loaded trolley to follow and suggested. "If we take one or two including him asleep it will help him realise when it happened should he need to look at them in the future. Anyway, we or rather you will be around to explain it and he might wake while we are doing it and join in, which would good."

Getting a nod from Meg, Jenny asked. "If he was just tired why haven't you joined him after all you must be feeling it?" and stopped seeing Meg's expression and realised just how it sounded and added quickly trying to ignore the picture she'd conjured up in her mind. "Well not on the lawn beside him, in the chair by the table so you could still watch him..." and was pleased with the teasing chuckle and joined in as they walked over to the chairs leaving the men to sort the pond out.

Reaching the chairs they quietened down and Meg sighed; she'd hope the activity would have woken Ben so they could sort things out together. But it didn't so she'd have to talk him through it all later. She got the camera and took the necessary photos then chuffed she actually managed to get a reasonable one with him and the others in put them on the table for later as he had the album in his bag.

Sitting in the chair close to Jenny, Meg decided it wouldn't be a bad thing if their quiet chatter woke him or drifted into his sleep or whatever it was and answered the earlier question honestly. "I couldn't, he might have woken and walked out as I slept … like he did this morning. … It scared me when I saw the bed made and empty … then I saw him at the top of the garden and I felt I could breath… live again." She looked round the garden as she carried on. "This is nearly finished so what's to stop him moving on without being..."

Knowing there was a lot to do in garden Jenny could see where Meg's thoughts were leading and gently interrupted. "You mean apart from the fact **you** are here and **you** are the person he asked to be with. … **Well**. There's the men on the gate, the plain clothed officer wandering round the centre and possibly one or two in an unmarked car further along the road, me, my husband and not to mention the staff."

She took a breath and kept her eyes on Meg and carried on with a hint of a tease. "As well as the whole police force back at the Station if he should slip through the net and they all have an easy to follow description sent out in seconds of any call you would make."

Meg smiled, nodded feeling some of the stress go and a muscle twinge and agreed. "True, and I wouldn't mind a shower to ease the aches if you'll watch him for me?"

Jenny gave a broad grin then looking at the man in question and said softly "Oh, I'd watch him all day if I could" then turning her head slightly so she could look at Meg as well as Ben added almost cheekily. "Maybe someone should write a story about the sleeping prince rather than sleeping beauty and give him the lead part … with you as the leading lady of course. … At least he's comfortable on those sleeping bags." then noticing a flicker in Meg's expression asked gently. "Hey you're not jealous of the bag he's clutching are you?"

Meg gave a short gentle laugh; she'd been found out and nodded then faced her new friend and said. "Daft isn't it?"

Jenny turned serious and said gently. "No not at all, you love him and want to be **that** close to him again. … You said it scared you this morning when you saw he was willing to protect the bag and thought you were the enemy. Don't forget, he changed in heartbeat saw you as a friend and later remembered what you meant to him even if the memories of you two together were not there. You've got the advantage now you can stop that from happening again.

Meg, it's been his helper … given him food or the money to get some, protects his clothing and now with the photos you and Antonio have been taking access into memories of the past few days …and a way into his missing history and an address to come back to should he get lost.

You though give him more than that, you give him personal contact, love, warmth and security as well a voice that can bring it all together and help him move into the future. He needs you and the bag to become whole Meg he can't do it with just one."

To give Meg time to mull over her words she looked round the garden and then said casually to change the subject. "You know I'm amazed at what you've done didn't think it would be done till lunchtime. Have you decided what's going in the pond and flowerbeds?"

Meg felt better but she still envied the bag tucked into his chest with his arm draped over it and realised Jenny was right she needed to think of other things and got the pad from the third chair and put it on the table adding. "Yes and I'll take some more photos of the work. Ben took one of me earlier and I think that what's started him closing down."

Jenny watched silently and smiled at the antics of her two workers as the photos were taken and hoped Meg wouldn't forget to tell her everything when she'd came back to the table.

oxoxo

When she'd got enough photos Meg added them to the pile and made a note on the spare piece of paper so they'd be in order when they added to the album, and as she sat down she carried on where her thoughts had taken her. "It was lovely working together, better than at The Deep or Liberty Corp. even if it was mainly in silence … perhaps it was because it was just the two of us lost in something we both enjoyed.

He broke it with odd questions that just needed confirmation or denial … his tone told me he didn't want rambling explanations and in the end I could sense when he was going to ask them … sort of got some of our closeness back again. He was really chuffed about Sara and Casey … He wondered if he dreamt it."

She paused, thinking about it all then carried on. "It was strange how he would jump in and out of thoughts … no order but they covered the time I knew him and when he was with Antonio but didn't touch on his kidnappings … sort of skirted around them. ... Perhaps he didn't want to hurt me with those memories or he'd already dealt with and put them away. … …They weren't worth bringing up again. … Nothing about his recent months but then I suppose he consciously or unconsciously knew I couldn't help him … I doubt anyone can with some of them.

Giving a gentle sigh and thinking again about it added. "It was almost as though he was ticking boxes then putting memories away again. There wasn't any raw emotion … more like understood and healed emotion … knowing it was in the past and could not be changed.

Anyway, we nearly finished laying out the flowerbeds when he suddenly said he needed soup and a break, which was fine by me. He finished up and I did the soup, we had it here and got round to talking about what plants we wanted. I hunted around found the pad and pen. He asked me for my ideas about the flowerbeds and any shrubs."

Smiling she admitted. "That was a laugh I mean where do you start … especially as it was his layout and idea … but he wanted it to be ours not just his … so we threw ideas together. … **Hell**, he knows an awful lot about plants … he knew their names from my descriptions and I wrote them down. Of course then we came to the pond and as that was definitely his province I suggested he write them down and pushed the pen and pad over to him."

Pausing she looked across at Ben then back at Jenny and carried on very seriously. "He shook his head and shivered said he needed the bathroom and for a moment I thought he was not going to go inside. …I was going to suggest he used the hedge at the top of the garden … but he steeled himself and went in. … When he came out we were back to working partners certainly not as close as before. Reminded me of when I first worked for him at The Deep … boss and waitress only … and he still insisted I write the plant names."

Not wanting to get lost in those memories Meg brought her attention back to the pad and Jenny and carried on. "**So** he ended up spelling the damn things out as I didn't have a clue how to spell them or what they looked like … but that didn't matter he said I would see them in their proper places with labels. … I could have managed ones like lily and bamboo but he used their proper names so stumped me. Though I expect it will make them easier to find in the centre."

Without realising it Meg ran her fingers through her hair as she talked giving Jenny the warning signs that Meg was getting to the deep down worry that she'd hidden at their greeting so she stayed silent and listened. "As soon as he came to the last one it was as though he switched off. … I don't mean he just sat there blank eyed and silent. … No … he picked up his bag as he got up and went over to the sleeping bags … laid down curling round his **damn** bag closed his eyes and hasn't moved since. … He was already wearing his jumper so he shoulders wouldn't stiffen otherwise I suspect he would have put it on.

It could not have been more than five minutes before you came … it scared me but then I reasoned it was reaction to tiredness and checking off memories. **But** now I'm not sure and I don't know what he'll remember or what to tell him." She stopped suddenly unable to catch her breath feeling very tearful and frightened.

Jenny stayed quiet just gave a nod and handed over a clean hanky then glanced at the list of plants knowing Meg needed time to let go and then compose herself, rather than be smothered by hugs and half truths.

When Meg was calmer Jenny looked at her and said gently. "Meg sweetheart you coped last night and this morning **and **you are not alone, although it might seem so at times. Everyone here wants to help you and we are just a phone call away.

So far Ben's moved forward each time he's woken up, just needs reminding about things and I can't see why that shouldn't happen when he wakes. He's dealing with speaking and mixed up memories as well as the new places he's found himself in so probably doesn't want to think about writing at the moment. It will come later when he can concentrate better … everything must be at his own pace not ours. He's just told us he's not ready yet and you've accepted it and that helps him."

Jenny gave a smile and a sigh of appreciation as she carried on. "You know that list of plants is good it will make a lovely show now and in the future. He's certainly not lost his touch … come to think of it he got Dad to draw the book of plans for gardens in the easy care section here at the centre. **So** it might just be a case of habit coming through rather than anything else. Perhaps he used to tell his parents his ideas and they wrote them down, whatever, Dad loved doing both sides of the job and they made a great pair."

She gave a gentle chuckle at Meg's questioning look and knew curiosity about Ben was overcoming her renewed fears, knowing in some ways she was breaking a trust given to her family, but also it would go no further than Meg she carried on. "Ben came to Dad with his order for the garden at Ocean Drive explaining it was too difficult and expensive for him to buy them from specialists in the ones and twos he needed.

He wanted our backing … contacts I suppose … but we were small and like the suppliers didn't want losses … everything was more difficult back then. Of course large numbers would mean profit if everything was sold on but losses if they didn't, he came with a back up plan extra plants we would have to get to cover transporting costs etc. It was that we with his help put in for the low maintenance scheme for the new public park and if that failed promote it here for small private gardens with planting idea provided. Hence the book of ideas you see in the section here.

Dad would have turned anyone else away, but we'd seen him around the garden centre had the odd word when he'd eaten at the café so Mum and Dad knew he understood plants and there was of course his growing business reputation in the town. They also had something in common Mum and Dad had been to Britain for several months ages ago and had brought the love for the roasts and other foods back and used them in the café. Dad listened and from then on they were thick as thieves working at the house rather than the café so it didn't take them long to put it all on paper."

She added with a twinkle in her eyes. "You know it's just as well I was happily married otherwise Maria and Annie would have had competition and I would have won."

Meg couldn't help smiling knowing Jenny was a fighter and said. "Go on."

Jenny sighed, "Not a lot else to tell really … it all worked out well, we got the project and as you know the garden scheme here runs beautifully. He stopped coming … married Maria and The Deep was a success … … well became an occasional customer with just a nod of acknowledgement and no more meals … even after the drowning he stayed away … Dad rang him to see if he could help and was politely thanked and turned down. Dad thought he was too hurt to connect with old memories possibly embarrassed because of the distance in the friendship … anyway Dad knew Casey and Bette would keep an eye on him."

Surprised Meg could feel her loss and said gently. "He never talked about his past regarding plants and landscaping."

Jenny's eyes clouded with regret and said. "No and his talk about Britain was general … the odd word of agreement etc … so we never pressed him we didn't want to lose him. …You knew without actually asking that the past was not up for grabs. … Even so Dad knew Ben lived gardening rather than just learnt it at clubs … sort of in his blood and we kept his wish to keep his knowledge and friendship between ourselves.

Feeling safe in her new found friendship with Meg Jenny bounced out of her regret with an almost schoolgirl admission. "You know I used to wonder just how big we would have become if Ben worked with Dad instead of The Deep. And if he suppressed his gardening expertise and love along with our friendship so it wouldn't threaten the artist in Maria. I think he knew instinctively she needed bringing out and he could do it using The Deep and encouraging her to paint. … But to be honest Ben could make anything work if he put his mind to it … he's proved that over the years.

Mum's roast is on the menu today so you can either have them here or come over … we've a private staff area which you can use … mind you it is fairly quiet anyway."

"You losing many customers?" Meg asked taking in just how close this family had been to Ben.

Jenny gave a gentle gleeful laugh and explained, "As you know non members were being turned away but some people have asked to join on the spot to catch any bargains. Not wanting to turn money away and taking advice we decided on the spot checks, you know work and home details with referees being talked to on the phone and then we've accepted their money. So I guess you'll have to keep our scheme up for at least another year. As for our delightful members well they've shown their cards with gleams in their eyes and those who have forgotten them have promised to return no doubt with other members in tow.

Everyone is being good especially when they see the second man on the gate is an officer who is known as a keen gardener and is helping us on his day 'off'. They've already turned away a reporter and cameraman who tried to become members and couldn't proved local referees. Mind you should be interesting to see them check through the coaches after all they won't have local ties or faces … just hope they have 'reporter' written across their foreheads if they've sneaked on somehow. They are coming for a distance and the first lot is due in about now another later this afternoon and the third had to cancel as the coach wanted a holiday in the garage.

Jude's rung to say several reporters and tv crews are now camped out at the Shock Wave and Sunset Sisters, one lot visited your house but got turned away by a neighbour. An officer is outside to make sure no one breaks in. You should ring the station with any messages for family as some bright spark might be listening into calls … he's hoping everyone will get bored with no action on this story and go away or tag onto the murder investigation.

The other family are on the move and will be escorted in once they get off the freeway; the last thing anyone wants is them accidentally asking a reporter for directions to the police station. You know that damn article has a lot to answer for … just hope it doesn't become Christmas all over again."

She looked across at the men checking on their progress and continued. "They shouldn't be too long as you've done such a good job so grab that quick hot shower and get rid of those aches but don't change the top till he wakes otherwise it might confuse him. He might think another day had gone by. Come to think of there are some nice casual ones in the shop here you could look at them later."

Meg smiled looked over at Ben then back at Jenny and said softly. "Okay. At least he seems to know you are the boss so I doubt you'll have to come and grab me."

Jenny chuckled at that thought and made herself comfortable - she would take a couple of photos in a moment but for now she'd just watch Ben sleep.

oxoxo

Feeling very refreshed after her shower Meg joined Jenny not by the chairs but by the empty pond and commented "It's looking good."

Satisfied with the men's work Jenny smiled adding. "Yes and Ben can move the stones if he wishes, but I reckon we've got the larger ones in the right places and the lining is secure so the water can be added. We've left the bags of compost within easy reach of the flowerbeds along with coded markers and string he asked for this morning. Would you like me to stay till he wakes?" Jenny asked remembering Meg's fears.

The quick shower had washed away most of Meg's fears so she answered with confidence. "No thanks we'll be fine … you're right I can show him the photos and he's moved forward each wakening and I know I can ring you."

Jenny nodded and asked wanting to bring Meg back to the bit she'd missed out in case there was a hidden problem. "You said you thought a photo started him to close down."

Meg thought back for a moment then said. "I'd been doing a few as we progressed trying to be casual about the whole thing and he accepted it. We'd nearly finished and he said he needed one of me so he would know I was with him here. Which I thought was nice; he told me where to stand and to think of something nice and took it. … Of course I thought of him and smiled but that's by the way. … He watched the photo come good and then we sorted the album out moved the other photos to the back, which was easy as the pages can be moved around rather than each photo.

It was as he watched the photo come good that he seemed to become slightly more distant. I don't know it could be me imagining it … he couldn't have been tired because we went back to finish the flowerbed layout but then just a latter he said he needed to stop …. He's so complex at the moment … not that he was that easy to read anyway and it's all new to me and I'm not sure which Ben I should base it on."

Jenny understood and reassured her gently "Don't worry about it … trust how you feel about things and don't push him. He obviously wanted the photo and that was good … a bit of positive thinking on his part. Ring to let me know what you decide about food and I'll take the list and sort the plants and put them to one side. … Ben might want to come and have a look before we wheel them over and discuss replacements for those out of stock.

Don't worry about people recognising you or him; they'll keep their distance I've heard the odd comment about this being a good place for him to stay after last night's fireworks etc. It will be good if you can look at the tops together … if you like get them get one and change … he'll see it and know it's the same day. Of course you might have to buy several which will add to my profits, but you can write everything down and we'll sort out payment later rather than pay cash if you haven't got a card or cheques with you."

Meg smiled and nodded and as they went over to check on Ben who'd not woken or moved said "Your Dad accepted our offer because of Ben."

Jenny smiled "Yes Dad reckoned Ben would have more plans than the note to Charles had and he knows the centre will be in good hands whatever Ben does." Then she added seriously. "Tell him about Dad so if they meet it will not be a shock to Ben, he might not have heard about the stroke before he left Sunset Beach."

Meg nodded and they walked in silence till they reached the gate where the men were waiting. Then Meg said "Thanks I think we'll come down to the centre for lunch he's used to walking around and I don't want him to feel trapped here shall I ring the shop before we come?"

"Yes I'm on pager so they will get me wherever I am." Jenny looked at the workmen and added with a smile. "Come on lads, plants to find and stack."

To mock groans Meg watched them leave and took one last photo of them closing the gate. She went back to the pond and walked round it again imagining what it might look like with water and plants … the ones she knew anyway. Smiling she went back to the chair knowing it would be a good idea to rest and sat down and looked at Ben and thought through everything Jenny had told her and wondered if the idea she'd had earlier about both of them working here might well come true. … Whatever happened she would make sure it was both their wishes and not him closing down for hers.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29 **

In the quiet of the chalet garden feeling more relaxed about things Meg watched fascinated as Ben suddenly woke up and sat up making sure he didn't get tangled with the sleeping bags he'd been lying on or his own bag he'd clutched to he chest, which he now opened and started to rummage through. But then she got worried realising he hadn't bothered to actually look around to see where he was or if anyone was nearby, and hoped that was because he knew where he was, felt safe and knew she was there, which meant he would talk to her in a moment when he found what he was looking for.

She wasn't to keen on just talking to him out of the blue as she wasn't in his line of sight so perhaps he didn't know she was there and wondered if this was an automatic reaction. …Wake up got to bag … to do what … see if everything was there … what to do next … see food and eat … see clothes and change … if wet get coat … or perhaps find whatever it was that was on his mind at the moment and deal with it. Suddenly she felt a rush of anger as her mind hit out at what she was seeing… **He** guarded **it**, clutched **it**, slept with **it** and went straight to **it** on waking …Didn't care about anything else … **Dam it!** He could be attacked while he was so absorbed by **it**. **Hell!** **It** was more precious than her or his friends or his life.

Horrified by her reaction she quickly tried to counteract them … **He** did care for them … **he**'d gone from Sunset Beach to help them and himself get over the shock and grief that surrounded them that Christmas. It wasn't his fault Fate raised her ugly head again. … And Jenny was right … the bag held everything he needed to keep him safe so he could come back to them … **and** **he** had come back to them ... had trusted her to drive him and take care of him. … It was her not him so** she** had to put aside her … what … fear, pride jealousy of the bag and concentrate on helping him.

Coming to terms with her emotional thoughts she saw he was getting out and opening his food box and quietly got up to walk over and stop him. Knowing he needed to keep the food in his box just in case he left them …not that she wanted him to or was going to allow him to … but if he slipped their net somehow the food would stay edible for weeks. And hoped he was just checking his box and would remember he'd eaten earlier. She also hoped he would recognise her voice and her as at least a friend or workmate and said gently but firmly. "Ben … you don't need those we'll be going over to the centre soon to look at the plants and have lunch with Jenny. But if you want something I can get it from the chalet."

Ben froze at the sound of her voice then silently looked up to see who'd spoken and realised as she was close and looking at him … he was being addressed and he was Ben.

Meg's heart raced as she noticed the slight tilt of his head and puzzled expression and knew he could be silent and not know her … could possibly start thinking she was a threat as she standing over him. So she decided to sit beside him on the sleeping bag, but as she sat down she realised she might be just that little bit too close … be intruding in his personal space. Not that she was touching him but all the same he might feel threatened by her just doing it and realised moving away now could also cause a problem as would a long silence as she pondered what to do for the best and what if he didn't even know her and said gently pointing to herself. "I'm Meg … your friend. Do you remember me?"

Ben nodded, remembering briefly that she'd worked silently beside him in this garden and turned his attention to closing the box ready to put it back in his bag now he knew he would be eating soon. Whenever that was, but that didn't matter she would tell him she'd obviously been close by while he slept.

Seeing Ben starting to put the box in his bag, and trying to sound calm in spite of her racing heart and nerves as this was trickier than earlier Meg continued. "Ben … you've got a photo album in your bag if you get it out we can go through the photos and I can remind you of what we've done this morning. After that we can put the photo of the pond being lined in, I hope you don't mind it was done while you slept. Jenny and I thought it would save time."

Whispers of something drifted through Ben's mind and though still confused nodded and found a book. Seeing and touching it he knew it was the photo album she mentioned though nothing came to mind about what was in it so he handed it to her and waited. He didn't truly remember her or the pond she talked about but something deep down within him told him he trusted her and knew her voice had heard it here before he slept.

Still wary about getting too close to Ben Meg moved a bit and put the album between them rather than have him leaning over to see it if it was on her lap. She opened it knowing they started with the ones she'd taken earlier and the on he'd taken of her was right at the back so there was no danger of him closing down before he opened up again and with luck she might even be able to stop before then anyway. Guessing he wouldn't need full details she told him briefly about them realising that when she got to her own family and the Mission she'd have to be ready to give more detail if he asked for them. At first she found his silent and still acceptance of what she was doing disconcerting, there were no nods or shakes of his head nor did he stop her from turning the pages. Then just as she was starting to wonder if she was doing it wrong he gave a definite nod of his head for her to go on and realised as it was to do with round here he might not need to ask anything and saw the next one was of her family in their garden and knew she'd have to think carefully what to say.

She nearly jumped as Ben quickly put his hand on the page with his finger on her mother; her mind flashed back to his earlier reaction to that photo and said gently "My mother Joan we ate some of her biscuits at the top of this garden this morning … she'd made them for you and you enjoyed them."

She smiled at his nod and his finger moved to her father "Hank my father." She saw a nod and expected more but Ben's finger pointed to something which was nearly off the picture. Remembering what happened in the other session explained and added. "The gazebo and there's a swinging chair in it … Sara couldn't make the photo though she and Gabi had the idea of doing them for you." Seeing a definite nod this time she turned over to one of Casey and saw another nod then his finger point down to Casey's left hand and she understood and said gently. "Yes he married Sara while you were away and they are both very happy."

Turning over the next page she relaxed and went through the other photos knowing what he wanted and repeated things as he signed for them and understood when he asked for the page to be turned back to another. With these actions and the more relaxed body language she hoped this meant pieces of the puzzle were clunking into place and he would soon be back to speaking … that was so much easier and nicer … though this was nice in its way.

She turned over the page and realised it was the last one the one he'd done of her and was surprised by the look of love coming from her in it. … All her worries about him and what was happening seemed to have disappeared completely …her eyes sparkled … her smile was deep and meaningful …and she suddenly felt that feeling of warmth, love and security rush through her, and knew he'd put his hand on hers instead of on the page to stop her from closing the book as they'd finished.

Not that she was going to close the album; she wanted to study the photo there was something it about that rang a cord. But his touch made her look at him and she saw the gentlest puzzled expression ever and it nearly took her breath away and yet at the same time make her want to ask the gentle concerned question "What is it?".

Somehow she managed to stay silent wondering what going on in his mind … and felt his touch leave her hand and so looked down to see why and what hand signal was coming if any. And watched his finger gently trace the outline of her face on the photo, then gently brush it against her cheeks on the photo and then he brought his hand upwards and she knew what was going to happen next and looked at him letting him do it.

Staying still, barely breathing she resisted the temptation to lean into his gentlest touch as his fingers brushed against her hair as he traced the outline of her face, then she felt them against her cheeks … the lightest of touches almost as though he was brushing her away tears if she were crying. Then his touch left her and he silently turned away from her to find his bag.

Meg felt totally bereft of his touch … of his love … of his attention but still and silent believing something had just clunked into place in his mind. She was sure she'd seen the merest flicker of something … recognition or realisation … flash across his face just before his fingers left her cheeks and now he was turning out his bag. She didn't dare move or ask what it was in case he lost that flicker of thought and was amazed at the pile that was growing beside him and saw a lot of money envelopes Antonio had mentioned. And wondered if he remembered it all or did he forget them till he saw them and seeing them now they would become more pieces in his jigsaw puzzle mind….

Her thoughts stopped as he brought out a clear plastic bag with what looked like a crumpled piece of paper in it. She knew immediately this was precious as he carefully smoothed it out without opening the bag and then gently it on his lap and signed he would like to put the album on his lap. She nodded and handed it over and watched almost mesmerized by the gentleness that came from his body language and his hands as he laid crumpled piece of paper besides the photo of her in the album.

Seeing them side by side she realised it could have been a photo and could make out some light and dark bits … comparing them with the other photo she reckoned it could be a face of someone with long dark hair. Her stomach tightened and a shiver run down her spine and she tried to keep any distress out of her face realising it had been her face, her hair …and had been screwed up beyond recognition. With mind numbing certainly she understood why the other struck a cord with her with her. Somehow consciously or unconsciously he'd managed to get her to reproduce the original right down loving smile...

Her thoughts stopped and her heart miss a beat as she felt the warmth of his fingers as they gently traced her face again, and then as they left her face she followed them down to the wreck of a photo and watched them gently trace the shape of the face again. And suddenly with a racing heart she understood why he kept his bag so close … he'd been protecting her and now possibly for the first time in a long time he knew the wreck of a photo and the person were one … and was now beside him. … That she was his soulmate … was his Meg.

Slowly she came to terms with such a mind blowing thought and let it and her heart settle and let whatever emotions Ben was feeling settle … till she noticed he was totally still. Still like a statue looking down at the photo with his fingers gently resting on where her cheeks would have been and she said gently hoping not to scare him. "Ben"

She knew the crumpled wreck of photo had kept him sane the months he'd been kidnapped in Seattle and couldn't imagine the flashes of memory that must be going through his mind now. She also knew he needed to be here in the present so she could reassure him everything was alright. … He'd survived what happened then and whatever happened since and could move on and most of all, that she was real and loved him and there was nothing to fear anymore.

Putting her hand out to touch his hand to give him any support he might need she hesitated and moved it to his sleeved arm just in case the warmth, love and security she felt when they touched might be too much for him at the moment and said gently. "Ben it's all right. Everyone is safe and we understand."

Through the mishmash of things racing through his mind Ben heard her voice and it brought things to ahead … he'd found his soulmate and he felt safe. He looked at her face saw that gently look of concern mixed with understanding and knew he had to find his voice to try and explain things even if he could not fully remember or comprehend them.

When he spoke his voice was soft and halting. "I never really lost you … just could not put it all together … somehow I knew by keeping my bag safe and as close as I could I would be all right … I would find what was most precious to me." He paused and looked down at the crumpled photo as he carried on. "In the basement in Seattle I would take it out … see and hear you so clearly … some when after that it got screwed up beyond recognition like my mind … I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Meg said gently, though she feared he might have been so angry at her at some point he screwed it up to destroy it and then calmed down and flattened it out and protected it. She had seen the photo and heard its history as they walked away from the basement in Southern Avenue Christmas Eve morning then it had hardly a crease on it. He had tucked it away and said he would always keep it with him. She knew now she should have stayed with him that day regardless … but at the time it had felt right to leave him so she could sort herself and…

Ben's reassuring voice broke into her thoughts and she looked at him. "Meg, I might not remember everything but I know I was never **that **angry with you… A little cross at times perhaps … but never enough to do that to your photo ... or you. I don't know how it came to be in the plastic bag either … **but** I do know I used to look at it and something stirred deep down inside me. … For some reason I could not see you or hear you properly. … I think I could see you in my sleep but daytime came and I could not find you or memories no matter how hard I tried. … Perhaps if I could have made people see the photo properly I could have found you earlier I don't know. …What I do know is I've found you now and I'm staying. … When I took the photo this morning I think something deep down knew you were that wreck of a photo and that you were real and you are my soulmate and that I'd truly come home. But I needed to see the two to understand it."

Meg felt tears threaten and was nearly too emotional to speak but knew he needed to understand her silence was not condemnation if anything the reverse, his love had never failed and never would and said gently. "Ben, don't push for reasons … or memories ... we are together now and nothing is going to come between us." And put her hand on his so they were touching the crumpled photo that had been so close to him and felt that familiar rush of warmth, love and security and hoped he would feel the same.

To her surprise he looked down at their hands and she wondered if her touch was too much for him then he looked at her again and this time she saw sadness in his eyes and his voice that brought her down to earth with bump as he hesitantly said. "What … if I've done something very wrong while I've been away? … I don't want to hurt you again; you've been through so much."

Meg smiled she couldn't help it he was so concerned for her yet he'd been the one out on the road without them and reassured him. "Ben if you've done something wrong then we will face that together and we will have our friends around us. But to be honest I think you would have been arrested long ago that jumper's a dead give away."

He looked down at the jump he was wearing and nodded and said quietly almost to himself. "She gave them out to keep us warm and so we wouldn't get lost." Then shook his head and looked at her slightly puzzled "I think it's gone."

Meg asked gently getting her emotions under control. "Was it the farm with Betsy?"

The mention of the name brought a flash picture in Ben's mind so he nodded and said. "We sat on the bench and watched the ducks … I need to find her and Bob then it will come back properly but I don't know where they are."

Meg smiled hearing the gentleness in his voice and knew they had to be good memories even if he didn't know them and reassured him as she gently let go of his hand knowing they needed to move away from memories and on to knowing what had been happening while he slept. "They are seeing Jude and Tyus and if it's okay they should be here this afternoon. Jenny's taken the list of plants and we can check them when we have lunch at the garden centre. … There will be people around but not too many or if you'd rather we can have it delivered here and she'll bring the plants over later."

The other memories gone Ben looked around taking in the pond, the stones around it and remembered exactly where they were and asked. "Her mother's roast on the menu?"

Meg nodded and laughed seeing a smile of anticipation cross his face and knew that part of his memory must have clicked into place during his sleep and as he started to put things back in his bag he carried on "So Jenny's been here and laid the lining."

She heard the tease in his voice and matched it as she corrected gently. "Her workers did we sat and chatted." and took the photo album and screwed up photo adding. "Shall I put the photo in the album and add the others … perhaps we should take one just before or as we fill it."

Ben paused and looked at her then nodded with a gentle "Okay. … Thank you." then carried on squeezing things back into his bag adding. "We could fill it before we eat then if it stays filled we can put the water plants in as they'll have soil blocks with them and then do the other planting."

Meg nodded carefully easing the screwed up photo into its new home knowing Ben was back to being a working partner as they had been earlier, which was fine by her. The rush of hugs and possibly kisses of lovers would have been wrong for them both no matter how much she wanted it. But at least he knew deep down she was his soulmate and would stay no matter what and she would prove her deep love for him overtime. And she could never be jealous of his bag again but she felt more than a little worried about the reason he'd screw the photo up if it was not at anger at her then what caused it and how could she get a message to Jude.


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

The campervan chugged along the freeway with the occupants in their own thoughts or concentrating on driving safely, conversation had run out a while ago. In spite of being reassured it would make to Sunset Beach they all consciously or subconsciously listened for the next big noise that would bring them to an undignified permanent halt and cause chaos around them.

With the latest rattle and new squeak proving to be harmless Helen relaxed a bit and knew she had to make sure her brother didn't wriggle out of the proposed hospital visit as he had the last time his knee gave him trouble. Trying not to distract Tim who was driving she eased round to face Bob who was propped up on the long seat down the side of the van and said firmly. "I know we decided to meet Sy at eleven but we ought to take you straight to the hospital. I'll use their public phone and tell her what's happening and she can tell the others."

Seeing Bob's mouth open she shook her head and carried on quickly ready to win the battle before it started. "Even with sleeping on the sofa and the stuff Tim put on that knee you could hardly walk or get in the van this morning. I seriously doubt lying there has worked a miracle **and **don't forget you've yet to get out of the van. Not only do we come to the hospital first the police officer and Sy can come to us, in doing so we will have the advantage should things get awkward for you."

Betsy, who'd been sitting in the single side seat directly behind Helen, surfaced from her daydreaming and piped up greatly concerned. "I'll still be able to go to the beach won't I? I hate hospitals and police stations."

Helen knew Betsy was churning from tensions, hopes and memories and tried to reassure her. "Yes, Tim can drive you there once we know what's happening. We'll arrange a call in time as he doesn't have a phone yet and I'll get a taxi if and when we need to reach you."

Ever hopeful that his sister would fall for it Bob put in brightly. "**I know**, as I hate hospitals and police stations I go with Betsy. Tim can hand in his list at the hospital and see the specialist it will be so much quicker as he knows what he wants and everything about it. You and Sy can pop in the police station as they only need you and the papers and then the three of you can find me and Betsy on the beach as need be."

Without breaking concentration as he drove Tim gave snort of derision, Betsy laughed breaking her fears while Helen smiled at her brother's try and mouthed 'no way buster'.

Bob shrugged his shoulders knowing he lost but also there could be a confrontation if they tried to do what she was planning and said casually with a touch of seriousness he knew the adults would pick up on. "I don't think we'll get very far doing it that anyway."

Helen looked at him noting the change and Tim asked "Why not?" while indicating and slowing down to take the Sunset Beach turn off and silently cursed as the driver in front suddenly woke up it was his turn off and indicated and moved over.

Still trying to sound casual and not seeing what had happened but knew Bob answered without hesitation. "Oh because we've had one unmarked police car with us since we left this morning it's directly behind us now. I expect another joined us not long ago, he passed us and been keeping pace either directly in front or one care in front and they've just taken the turn off. Just after you signalled making you think he got his instructions late so a newbie like us. If we digress we'll be pulled over one in front and the other at the back or side so we can't swerve or zoom off without damage. They've got those lights and siren bubbles for dashboard rather than anything outside the car."

Seeing Tim's nod Bob knew part of it had just happened, registered the others' worried looks and added gently to his niece. "Betsy it will be okay just sit quiet and do as you are told." And got a nod.

Helen said quietly. "Do you think we are in trouble?"

Bob knew they'd been round everything last night after Betsy had gone to sleep and came up not knowing each time and said honestly. "It really depends on who the traveller is and what he does or does not remember. It's got to be serious with this kind of treatment and FBI involvement. You two have good reputations … Betsy's just a kid."

He gave a sigh guessing his very good cover story had come back to bite him once again and carried on. "That leaves me and my reputation back home and as I'm off the books at the moment it could cause them some concern. All I need to do is make a phone call when we get there and that should clear things up. So its best to go straight there let the hospital wait my knee will be fine. We'll do as we said last night and you Betsy stay quietly close to Tim and you'll get to the beach quickly but if they ask you anything answer truthfully and no stories or second guesses understand."

Two 'okays' came from Helen and Betsy as they went back to watching out the windows and Helen noticed there were several cars behind them.

Tim stayed silent as he turned off the freeway and on to the slip road and then making his mind up he pulled sharply into the long lay-by ahead and stopped. The car in front dived into the lay by and stopped so the van would not be able to drive out and the other one flipped its siren and lights as it pulled in behind them boxing them in. The other cars in the queue passed slowly with any passengers watching them.

Inside Bob exclaimed crossly, "Tim! For crying out loud you didn't **have** to prove me right!"

Still staying silent Tim turned off the engine and put the notes on the dashboard so everyone could see them, then wound down the window and waited with his hands casually in sight on the steering wheel. As far as he could see this would solve their problems the police would escort them to the hospital then Bob would get the treatment while they talked … after all they'd done nothing wrong ... they helped people.

Bob checked the police officers over as they walked towards the van from their cars covering front and back. He knew from their attitude so far it was one of caution but ready for hostility, which was good … they'd not come out shouting with guns drawn. … So perhaps they were okay and there was a reasonable explanation for the shadowing. … A lift if the van didn't make it because Sy had warned them of its condition … the van would still have to come and it would easier to that than transferring things and people into another carrier.

He noticed the one he thought was the lead officer had started to talk into a phone rather than a police radio, was that good or bad. The radio would mean everyone would know what was going on, police and outsiders if hacks were listening. Phone would be private one to one … so could it be the traveller needed protection from outsiders or could they be in enemy territory all ready … the chief cop was on the other side and they…

His thoughts stopped as the Officer who'd been talking into the phone called out as he reached the driver's side of the van. "Helen and Tim Weatherfield?"

Tim kept his eyes on the Officer and decided to make his point and emphasized his first word then kept the rest casual but firm. "**Doctor** Tim Weatherfield and I need to get my brother in law to the hospital, he's wrenched his knee and it needs bracing and crutches possibly an operation if the specialist agrees."

The Officer nodded acceptance of the title but his reply was short and firm. "Sorry sir we need all of you down at the station."

'Oh great a stalemate' Bob thought knowing just how stubborn Tim could be where a patient or family was concerned and in this case he was both … never a good thing.

Tim pointed out calmly. "We can stay here all day Officer if you like. But all I need is to get a consultant to look and fit the brace and book him in for an operation if necessary. I'm sure they won't mind my wife and your officer discussing things in another room. We've also got a young child who needs the beach rather than the station or hospital."

The Officer spoke into the phone, listened and then answered Tim. "Sir, we've got a top emergency consultant at the station so if you can give us a list of equipment we can get it taken there. He can fit and arrange a proper consultation later. I'm sorry to be insistent but we need your help on this case immediately and at the station where all the information is."

Bob whispered loudly "For goodness sake accept it." Knowing Tim could get stuck in a rut and his knee was manageable he'd had worse in the field and survived.

Tim nodded and handed over the papers then waited while the officer looked at them and relayed the information over the phone then handed the phone over to Tim.

Tim listened to Doctor Tyus Robinson then checked over a few points, satisfied the doctor did know what he was talking about he signed off and handed the phone back to the officer.

Putting the phone a way the Officer ordered "Right follow the car in front, the other one will stay behind you." and went back to in front.

Tim nodded and did so.

oxoxo

Bob waited till they were moving and asked crossly. "**Why?**"

Tim kept his eyes on the road as he replied. "Guess I've been around you too long … **Look** you can't hide the pain you're in and you might need to walk then sit on hard chairs while you and Helen explain what happened if it's the traveller we think it might be. If it's not then Helen can take charge and deal with it and you'll have a consultant on the spot looking at you. Not only that your knee will be resting in a brace and you will not end up on the floor when it gives way again. They also said the word help and not you are under arrest so stop being paranoid."

"**Fine!** But from now on you look after Betsy and leave the talking to Helen and or myself. For your information help can also mean arrest as soon as we get to the station and it's more likely now thanks to you!" Bob said crossly.

"**Okay**" Tim said sharply finding it difficult to follow the unmarked police car through the traffic so wasn't worrying about his brother in law's tone; they'd been around each other too long to actually fall out. He'd also reckoned they would have been arrested at the campsite rather than risk a car chase down the freeway with a child on board if they were considered the baddies and it was anything really serious. … Not that the chase would have even started in spite of all the work they'd done last night it felt as though it was going to stop with a loud bang at any minute.

"Will I still be able to go on the beach Auntie Helen?" Betsy asked shakily.

Trying not to do herself a mischief Helen turned practically right round in her seat so she could see Betsy to reassure her knowing how scared she was. It had always been Auntie and Uncle when she was afraid or unhappy about something and Mum and Dad when she was happy or comfortable with things, and so confused everyone except family who never minded what they were called and said. "Yes of course you can and don't worry we will sort things out just don't go talking about the travellers to anyone till we say so."

Betsy nodded and Helen caught Bob's nod and reassuring smile as she turned round and untangled herself in the seatbelt and watched the town that might be their new home unfold.

oxoxo

As they turned into the police station car park and parked Bob whistled and said. "Press and tv boys are out and about so something big is going down. No wonder they wanted to escort us in."

Helen asked as she started to take her safety belt off. "Good or bad."

"Heaven knows might be nothing to do with us. Let's see who this traveller is first." Seeing the welcoming committee Bob added. "Well, Well things are looking interesting there's another FBI agent."

Starting to open her door Helen asked. "Known him?"

Bob answered quickly. "Yeah taught him at a conference, intelligent and honest but can't assume we are home and dry yet. We still don't know about the others or this Detective Ricardo Torres. If it's our traveller then its serious FBI and Police don't always mix well … a case of stepping on toes and territory that might not help. Lock the doors and keep the keys."

Helen nodded and got out and closed the door making sure it was locked.

Betsy called out "Uncle Tim wait!" as Tim got out his side locked the door then started to walk round the back. He looked back and signed he would open the back so she got up and waited by the door. As soon as he opened it she threw herself into his arms she wasn't going to be parted from him and said "Uncle Tim, Auntie Helen can help Bob out." and buried her head in his shoulder.

Tim took her out the way then gently told her he needed her to walk, so reluctantly she slipped down and stood beside him with her hand gripping his in a death grip.

There's a lot of shuffling as Bob manoeuvred himself out of the van and found strong arms ready to help him down along with two crutches as he needed them. He knew he'd been expertly checked over for weapons, closed down and separated as well as being watched very closely and said casually. "Thank you. Nice to see you again Jude, are you with Detective Ricardo Torres and this traveller business."

Jude smiled knowing his tactics had not been missed, he'd also made sure the adult and child had been separated from the group just in case the injury was an act and Bob decided to try and take out a couple of officers. If it wasn't act the other Doctor was close by to help him. Matching Bob's casualness but quietened his voice so any sharp eared reporters didn't catch on Jude answered. "Nice to see you too I'm his boss so you'll be dealing with me and I work with the police here." Then he added a quiet warning. "Also I'd rather you didn't alert the press they might not leave Betsy alone when she's out on the beach."

As he'd watched Bob's slow progress out of the van and now as they started to walk across the car park into the station he knew the injury was real and Bob wouldn't be a threat, so he gave a silent signal for the officers to drop back but be vigilant.

Bob nodded taking in the new information and what was happening around him and walked slowly into the station getting used to being back on crutches and although he didn't like to admit it eased his knee … just a bit.

Betsy silently took advantage of the officer next to her moving away and grabbed Helen's hand so she was in the middle of Aunt and Uncle and followed the group with memories of her parent's death and other hopes crowding in on her.

In spite of the tight grip on her hand Helen mulled over what Jude said as well as ticking off where they were going … they'd just passed reception area and were passing corridor to the jails and interview rooms and said. "I can't tell you anything till I know the traveller's name or seen a picture and my daughter has my files. We've had a few travellers stay at the farm over the years so I've only brought the recent ones, last one was February he stayed a couple of days after that we did not have any and the last one left early March."

Jude stopped at the top of the corridor where the office was he wanted them to be in and turned to Helen "We'll be in the office at the end of the corridor and your daughter will arrive at any moment she'll be escorted down. He might not have been a traveller when you knew him but was when he handed us a card that mentioned the farm along with other cards from other places. His name is Ben Evans."

To Jude's disappointment all four of them shook their heads so he carried on. "We've a photo of him in the office along with his doctor and a close friend who found him on the beach day before yesterday and was with him up until last night."

They all heard the door of the station open and the sound of more people coming in then the call "Mum!" made Helen turned and smile asking. "You've got the files?"

Sy two handed held up the heavy bag and carried on towards them, officers moving out the way and Patrick who was behind Sy said quickly. "Jude, need a word now!"

Patrick's tone made Jude step to one side, Helen felt Betsy's grip relax which she welcomed as she needed to take the bag from Sy as well as be ready for the hug she knew was coming. They hadn't seen each other for ages. Tim got ready to help his wife with that very heavy looking bag and felt Betsy hand relax and reckoned she would stay still. Betsy knew everyone's attention was off her and she really needed to find out who the traveller was and the photo was done the corridor.

She forgot what she was told earlier and was off running down the corridor towards the open door heedless of her name being called by Helen and Tim or the fact there was a very sharp "**No!**" afterwards.

Jude's sharp No stopped Helen and Tim from going after Betsy, so that part of the group stayed together. Jude knew Betsy would come back or they would follow her down what he didn't want was a mad rush into the office and the others were there anyway so she couldn't do any harm.

Betsy ran into the office and came to a sharp halt and looked around ignoring the two men sitting waiting patiently by one of the desks and scanned the desk. She spotted a large photo by a pile of papers and leant over the desk and pulled it towards her guessing she needed to be quick because of the shouts.

Looking at it and her fears disappeared and smiled and said to him as he looked at her from the photo as though he could hear and understand her. "Joe I knew you'd save the house for us." Betsy picked up the photo and yelled out "Mummy!" knowing she needed to see this and charged out the room again.

The two men had silently watched the transformation from pale and tense young girl to totally happy … her colour rushed back into her face, which suddenly had a smile that reached her eyes and happiness through out her body. As she left them there was a gentle half laughing and comment from Tyus to Antonio. "Guess that was Betsy."

Still taking it in Antonio replied. "She's talking and smiling which is good … trouble is she called Ben Joe."

"Yeah, definitely **not** what we wanted to hear." Tyus said sobering up.


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

Meanwhile back in the corridor Jude listened to Patrick's quick fired comments and watched as Sy gave her parents quick warm silent assured hugs and hand over the bag of files. He saw the smiles between her and Bob not only said love but they knew hugs would be difficult, and knew this family was too close and too many, he needed privacy and calm for his discussions. So he had to …

His thoughts stopped as everyone's attention was drawn to the end of the corridor by the muffled "Mummy" then a very short silence before Betsy came out of the room and was charging back towards them yelling. "Mummy! … Daddy! … It's Joe … he'll save the house … I know he will!"

With a sinking heart and fleetingly wondering why Aunt and Uncle became Mummy and Daddy Jude said firmly. "**Right** I need to know everything about Joe and the house and no messing about." He'd aimed that bit at Bob but had to move quickly aside so Bob and the others could shift a bit to avoid the happy tornado that was bearing down on them with no signs of stopping.

Except Tim who stood his ground ready to take the brunt of Betsy's lack of brakes and over flowing happiness. With practiced ease and knowing she was getting too big for this he gathered her up into his arms with a slight swing to take out her momentum enabling her to hand over the photo to either Helen or Bob. Feeling Betsy was about to explode verbally Tim found enough breath to say quietly but firmly to her "That's enough Betsy." knowing they didn't need her excited babbling at the moment.

Betsy stopped immediately and looked stricken at Helen and Bob before burying her head in Tim's shoulder hugging him tightly with her arms and legs as though she was terrified she would be taken away from him. Realising she'd taken it the wrong way Tim immediately said gently. "It's alright sweetie nothing's wrong. We just don't need your excitement at the moment."

Silently watching the scene unfold Jude now saw Besty's little nod and realised the child was not afraid to her family more what he could do to them. When she had yelled out none of the adults had cringed with guilt, so what were they hiding and what had been her part. He knew she wouldn't open up to him or anyone else unless she was totally relaxed and trusted them and Tim was with her. He needed both lots of information and all three adults were people experts and couldn't spare Tyus and Antonio but he needed someone who could watch and listen and gain her trust and said firmly. "Patrick you take Sy and …"

Knowing the state Betsy was in and the fact he couldn't hold her for long Tim butted in, in full no nonsense mode. "**You don't need us,** Betsy needs to get out. She's had enough of stations when her parents died. Finding the man she called Joe is tipping the balance. He's Helen's patient and she's got my brief medical report on him. You'll need Bob, he had first contact and he needs to see the doctor regarding his knee no matter what he says or what you think."

Jude knew he'd been right in his assessment and what was more this one was used to getting his own way. … Well he'd got some important information to work from that short statement ... granted he would have preferred partner rather than patient, but he had the main people and Tim would not go far without them. He was going to get Patrick and Sy to take them onto the beach anyway so nodded his acceptance hoping it would give him bonus points from Tim's point of view. **Now**, he only had two 'people experts' to deal with, but also needed to get information about the house which could be a sticking point or a help towards Ben's recover if Patrick's assessment was right and asked. "First thought this business about the house is there written proof that he could or would save it?"

Still looking at the photo and getting use to her patients name Helen felt ripples of anxiety for him as she broke the silence that had followed Jude's question. "Sort of. He's the only one who could have written it but it's not dated or signed or witnessed. We found it the day he left us. … As he didn't contact us I thought he failed to get the advice needed and could not face the failure."

She looked at Jude and carried on with sadness sounding in her voice. "We didn't know how to contact him and when it was clear he wasn't returning we made other plans. He'll be too late now and it will only be throwing money away if a lawyer challenges things." and stopped expecting him to jump in with questions, which she could work her way around if need be rather than blurting out the whole story.

Jude knew that tacit and even though it didn't sound too good for Ben he stayed silent knowing it would push her to carry on with her story.

Helen gave a mental shrug at that lost point and carried on. "To be worth while you'd need the original agreement from the other farm for the front fields or at least the width of the house out to the road. We used those fields for young plants and cultivated them using horse and plough or small tractor for easy turning. Of course The Corp would demand compensation for the crops they would have grown on that land so it would come at a very high price.

With just the driveway to the road you are looking at a very high rent for something that will be churned up several times a year because their vehicles have to go straight across it to plant harvest etc. Then there's danger when they do it as well as dust or mud or sprays when they work not to mention the hemmed in feeling you get because the crops grow really high.

She gave a gentle sigh remembering her loss and carried on. "The agreement for the fields died with my sister and her husband late November and Betsy's too young to carry on the farm also there were debts and the Bank called in its loan. The Corp had already acquired the farms either side of us during the pervious year and a bit so they offered basic value for the land. … They've always said they didn't want the house and outbuildings … gave us first offer of bricks once it's been demolished. Obviously no one has bought it so we have up to first harvest which means we have only a few days to get our things out. … If we don't … we get charged rent and maintenance to get the driveway back to a condition for vehicles to take our stuff and the rubble out.

My brother John is arranging for the movers to go in and Corp will demolish as soon as they leave … we're going to say no to the rubble as we can't afford to rebuild... We have to think of Betsy's immediate future." She stopped as she felt a lump in her throat, she knew she'd come to terms with it all but talking about it now seemed to be a different matter.

Jude took in all their reactions and nodded, reckoning if they were the good guys Ben would have wanted to help them and he deserved the chance supposing of course Patrick's crazy idea was viable. For that they needed time and he knew who could fight for it and who could pull the plug on the whole thing should the family prove to be the bad guys after all and said. "Right, let's see if we can get things put on hold till we find out the truth of the matter and or Ben's memory comes back then act accordingly."

Turning towards the back of the group he carried on. "Patrick, ring Charles get him over. The two of you and Doctor Tim Weatherfield can compare notes, include your idea and if necessary make battle plans." Then he turned to Tim "I take it you know as much as your wife does about this business."

Tim nodded feeling a surge of hope for them all, as well as Betsy's wriggling and gently started to release her so she could slide down then gripped her hand hoping she would stay silent and felt her turn into his side and hid her head.

"Good" Jude said and hid his smile at Betsy's reaction he knew she understood some of what was going on and carried on so they could be reassured. "Charles is a respected lawyer not one of these money grabbing types and has been Ben's friend and then next of kin for the past five years. He's in overall charge of Ben's finances along with several others who Ben nominated before he left us. Charles will contact them if necessary and will clear things with me before he makes a move. First though we need to see the piece of paper and test the writing to make sure it's Ben's and I'll need to know how and when he came to write it. Also I need you all to be very careful who you talk to there's a lot of tv and press around because of what is going on and Ben likes his privacy."

He paused and deliberately faced the person his statement could have alienated and added. "Sy, I see from your credentials you are conscientious and not one of the gossip reporters so I'm asking you to promise me anything you learn will go no further. If there is a story you'll be introduced to two reporter friends of Ben who can fill you in on the background and you can all write together. For now though I would like you to help look after Betsy."

Sy nodded a bit reluctantly, all her instincts told her the story was here but as she listened to Jude continuing she realised she was likely to pick up a lot more from the lawyer and Patrick as she looked after Betsy because she wouldn't go far from Tim.

Pleased with her reaction Jude knew he could move things on. "**Right**. Patrick, there will be a local officer with you as you don't know the area and both of you will act as minders and you can call in more if necessary. We'll meet up for lunch so keep your phone close, be aware all the time that the press will have seen this activity and will not be satisfied by the Chief's press conference about the murder case." He hadn't missed Patrick's smile as he'd been paired off with Sy and reckoned the trip back must have been an interesting one but also he knew Patrick would not let his feelings cloud his judgement.

oxoxo

After the bustle of the group splitting up and going Bob knew he had to get more information before he gave his story so standing his ground said firmly. "Jude, before we go any further I need to know if this man Ben is under arrest for anything. If he's not then I need to know how safe he is and how long he's been here and what he remembers."

Jude hesitated knowing he really needed their information first - unaltered by anything he'd given them. On the other hand having a standoff as to who gave information first was not good either … so some give and take might be the only option. Trouble was he knew Bob was an expert not only of hedging and standoffs but also faking the concern he could hear and see coming from him at the moment. But his instincts were telling him that Bob's feelings were real … just like Betsy's had been and that had lead him to reassure her just now as they split up that her Joe was going to be all right now he was home.

Though he might have to give ground now he had one strong advantage … he had the family here and under close supervision and could keep them that way for as long as need be ... until they got a lawyer that is. He could even use the lively child to his advantage though he knew that could also work against him. The unbidden flicker of a shadow thought that the blond was not the friend they thought was quickly shut down he could not be distracted by her and made his decision.

Silently signing for the officer to stay at the top of the corridor to make sure they weren't unnecessarily disturbed Jude keeping an eye on Helen and Bob started to walk slowly towards the office saying. "Bob. I need your trust. We've got to build on what we know about each other … no standoffs or games.

Ben is not in trouble from the law as far as we can find out and that's back as far as mid March. We are hoping you will fill in part of the blank which is from Christmas to mid March, though we have an idea where he was in February but not who he was with."

Jude had to stop as Bob wasn't following so there was a large gap between them, he also decided not the challenge the flicker of something he thought he saw in Helen's face when he gave the dates and carried on explaining hoping he would get something back. "At the moment Ben's tucked away out of the reach of the press and protected by a few very trusted police officers under my command. He is with …" and hesitated now knowing about Meg and Ben's on and off relationship and decided to use Ben's reported words "the woman he used to call his soulmate … he trusts her and so do I.

My difficulty is … you say you don't know his name and yet he's meant to have written something about saving a house which to my understanding would cost a fortune. While we've found out from the people who've looked after him since March he's not talked or shown any inclination to write. … There is also the fact your family needs money and a future something he could provide … willingly or unwillingly.

**So** I need to know **when** he shut down, **why** and **what** part you or your family played in it."

He saw Bob shake his head in a definite No and wondered if there had been a physical argument between the two and went earnestly hoping to reassure the man. "Okay, I need to have that writing authenticated and that part of the story and for that we need to be in the office not stuck in the corridor.

**Bob**, I know what you are trained for, what you are capable of and that you would have held back if you could. Although I don't know Ben himself I know from reports and other people and he can defend himself. **And** we know there are events in his recent past, which could cause him to react in a hostile possibly violent manner in certain circumstances. We want to help him and anyone who came in contact with him … **not **make our names by arresting everyone in sight or splitting up families."

Bob understood Jude's point and stayed silent but started to follow them.

Knowing Bob's worries and picking up the disturbing information Jude had dropped Helen said. "So he's only started talking since he's been here then."

Jude nodded not willing to give any more information, knowing the cat and mouse game they were playing and it was two against one till he got to the office and they were walking slowly because of Bob.

Helen had hoped for more than a nod for an answer so to give Bob some breathing space she decided to show they could give some information. "There are certain circumstances that could be read wrong especially if Ben does not remember them properly. We don't have the whole picture of what went on before ... he and Bob met. There were no witnesses when the met …it was a one to one situation. So it's his word against Bob's and ours.

Also as we don't know his history we don't know who here might want to harm him. I believe we can trust you **but **we don't know about the others. You fill us in and we'll tell you everything and then you can sort it all out and give him the protection if any he needs."

Jude definitely didn't like this at all and he could understand her problem about loyalties - her patient verses her brother. So he had to convince her that her patient should come first, her brother's future was safe with him and she could trust the others and said. "The only thing I can say is talk to me and the two gentlemen in the office one is his doctor the other his priest. I can guarantee they are his friends and do not want to harm him. Nothing will get out of here unless I say so. There will be no hasty arrests or accusations on my part or the Chief's."

He hesitated knowing he was giving more information away than he would have liked but it would be the only way to get Helen to open up and possibly influence Bob who he knew was listening and carried on. "Ben's memories of around here seem to be coming back very quickly and I suspect that's because he feels safe with the people he's with. His instincts have brought him back here and kept him safe on the road.

Although we were not sure about you and your family we've had to tell Ben you are coming and if his Doctor thinks it's all right you will be with him this afternoon. You see he thinks Betsy was killed in some kind of accident and he might be to blame … it's been troubling him as he woke each morning when he was on the road and it was one of the first things he managed to tell his Doctor.

He's only just starting to know about time and hold onto memories. Before that it seems that each day or wakening was a new beginning for him with instinct playing a major part in keeping him safe. He's been on the road and in shelters since Mid March, silent and afraid of buildings. We can go through that later. You know what I need now."

Helen gasped at the enormity of it all and said "That means he had no way back to us and to think we'd thought he could not face saying he'd failed us. … Yes, there was an accident regarding Betsy but he knew she was alive and we were bringing her back to the farm from the hospital. How could he have got that mixed up?"

With very mixed feelings Jude stayed silent knowing he was not expected to answer the question and walked on to lead them into the office.


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32**

As they hadn't heard any noisy eruptions from the corridor after Betsy's speedy exit Antonio and Tyus reluctantly came to the conclusion they had better sit and wait as originally planned. Because neither wanted to speculate on what had just happened the minutes dragged till they heard muffled sounds of people outside the office, then their expectations rose ... they would finally find out what had happened. Only to have them fall and turn to tension as Jude came in. He had a serious expression on his face and gave a small shrug of his shoulders and a covert hand signal telling them to stay silent and the mouthed word 'watch'.

So Antonio and Tyus schooled themselves for silent action … to suss out who ever came through the doorway … and then their curiosity rose again because Jude walked over to the covered board and then looked back towards the door as though he'd just realised he was missing someone, but was willing to wait there till whomever caught up. This completely different from what they'd planned earlier … it was meant to be them and us sat round the table … then the integration come cosy chat would start and after that they would go to the board and fill in the missing gap and take the next step in the investigation or even arrest who ever. Now, it looked as though the board would be uncovered first and chat after … so had what had they missed and was it going to be passed on now or later.

Jude could see through the doorway from where he stood and though he covered it well he was cross with himself and his mind was churning over what had just happened as he'd lost his shadow. Helen had dropped back a bit to Bob … pretext just to check her brother was walking okay, the couple didn't say anything to each other but as he'd turned to into the room he'd seen a nod from her and an answering slow blink from Bob then she'd started to turn back towards him to catch up and follow him. For that short moment he was out of her sight he gave his own message to Antonio and Tyus… so fair's fair he supposed. Trouble was he didn't know Bob and Helen's code … was it an 'its okay we are safe to tell all' or was Bob's answer confirmation they go to the next level of playing games. **Hell** he should not have let them do it he should have challenged them, kept them spilt up as they walked or even from the very beginning and been hard cop to both and not talked to them or come on in the hoping he'd finally gained their complete trust.

But he had talked and listened and his natural police instincts were not only in top gear but actually **screaming** at him to get the damned truth **now** and hang the consequences. The consequences were if he told all now they need not tell him the whole truth and he wouldn't know it … if he suddenly changed to that tack it might make them more suspicious of him make them clam up on him even more … if that was possible. And then what he'd end up with nothing but wasted time trying open them up again. So he'd have to wait it out till and hope that sign was a good one, and he could turn things his way by showing them part of the story and the bit they needed to fill.

Watching Helen come in he saw her quick glance round and knew she was weighing everything up and reading the two men sitting watching her as well as his own actions. He reckoned she could feel the tension even know his watchers curiosity was peaking and hoped she would not use that against him. He wasn't at all surprised she ignored the chairs facing the desk and came over to stand near him … sitting down would be giving ground to him … standing kept her on his level … keep them a equals. Granted she was not close enough to make him give ground physically but enough to expect a comment from him, especially as her silent look said 'you've got more to tell, so tell me!'

He knew he had to put the brakes on ever so gently but firmly, make them understand this room was the turning point from here on it was his game by his rules…. Trouble with that was he'd been given advice on how to do it by that ever so slow expert outside in the corridor **and** this was his sister who was looking at him. In some ways knowing they knew the game meant they both knew the information **had** to be exchanged at some point and they also knew that his say so was the key out of this building.

Not backing down from Helen's look he stayed silent and listened to the sound the crutches made as Bob slowly came into the office and felt a tingle go down his spine as their attitude and words as they'd come down the corridor linked together hit him. They were worried for Ben's safety … they'd thought Ben had sorted something out and was back in his normal life. Now they knew he wasn't they believed he was in danger and that's why they mistrusted him and everyone around Ben. So what the **hell** had happened! … and realised Helen was in a position not only to see their reactions but also help isolate them should Bob not like what he saw or heard.

And worked out how … Bob would stay near the door so he could stop anyone leaving or coming in to help them ... Great, he and Tyus had unwittingly given him weapons to do it. Helen could take out the phone and or trap Tyus and Antonio by using the desk or by just threatening him she was close enough and no doubt knew the moves. The officer at the end of the corridor was there to stop unnecessary interruptions or people over hearing them and wouldn't be surprised if there were raised voices from this end so might not come straight away. With heightened awareness he broke Helen's stare and looked towards Bob who'd come into the office.

oxoxo

From the moment Bob recognised Jude he knew he should have been able trust him … trust each other … been be able to sit down and discuss events … but he couldn't risk it. So that was why he'd let Jude believe his knee hurting and was unused to crutches … be a slow coach down the passage. Well the first was right his damn knee hurt … a lot, as for the second Nope he knew crutches really well … in fact too damn well and hated the things. Being the 'slow coach' down the corridor meant he could suss Jude and the situation out … follow one of his mottos - know thy enemy and live another day.

As for the course they'd been on …FBI covert survival said it all really … and he'd been one of the masters and Jude one of the students … a damned good student showed a quick intelligent mind and not afraid to use it or hold back as necessary … in spite of the ticking clock. Of course everyone knew deep down that no one actually died in the scenarios – got hurt by the stun bullets or falling awkwardly or red marks at the debriefing yes but not dead as in not coming back again.

Being intelligent Jude probably guessed he was being hoodwinked by the master and would not trust loyalty to the badge or the law and nor would he. After all this was a real live situation were loyalties could be broken, bought or swayed which meant either of them could be the bad guy or guys. Not only that people could get hurt or killed so truth or lies could be hidden and there was the fact he could lose his freedom just because of who he is and his story …and Jude had power here to do that.

So were Jude's words earlier a good sign or was it all a double bluff … he couldn't do much for Ben if it was. All he could do would be to insist on his phone call … make it to his boss and see the fur fly and hope it was enough. Their fur not his ... some of his later perhaps knowing his boss … As for his sister, well she would sit on her patient confidentiality rule till the cows came home ... she was strong enough for that and to ignore threats made. Then there was Tim and Sy, their safety net along with the press who'd seen them arrive, so he couldn't get lost in the system could he?

To get lost in the system Jude would need officers to do it and as far as he could see the officers acted on orders with respect not fear and that was right down to the one left behind on boring corridor duty. Back at the lay-by there'd been no heavy handedness with guns or second questions at the change of plans and Jude had taken all the new information on board and acted with safeguards for both sides. **So** the man was as he'd thought on the course and what his gut was telling him now … an honest intelligent caring police officer and that was good.

But why the change of jobs, could it be demotion? … No, he was running a department not just one investigation. So forced secondment or choice … well there was no sign of inter department rivalry or toes being trod on. So it had happened with good will and awhile ago and as Jude didn't suffer fools gladly the Police Chief must be on the same game board.

That brought him back to crucial matter of whether the Priest and Doctor he was about to meet were wolves in sheep's clothing or not … and by telling his story was he putting Ben in deadly danger if he wasn't already in it or perhaps it didn't exist he only believed from what he knew from when he found Ben and what he said to him.

Ideally he needed Ben's history to get a feel of what happened, but in the light of the new information he knew none of them wanted a long standoff and his sister's instincts were as good as his and from the nod he knew her feelings and from his look she knew what to do. This was the point of no return for all of them and he made up his mind put his senses on full alert and slowly made his way into the office.

oxoxo

Pushing the door closed with one of his crutches Bob carried on into the room so he could see everything and suppressed the hint of a smile knowing he'd just broken up a silent standoff between Jude and his sister. Neither seemed to like winning from their expressions though he thought he saw a hint of Jude twigging something as he looked at him and knew he'd have to get in quickly before the challenge came.

Wanting to suss the others out he quickly glance round and was going to dismiss the Priest as being way too young to be of use. Knowing Jude would not have picked him just for show he looked again and saw confidence as well a depth of understanding and commitment in the look and body language. He turned to the Doctor and met dark experienced understanding eyes weighing him up and felt that twinge of being a patient ... and knew that **damned** examination was going to happen unless he could dance without crutches … which he couldn't. Seeing them together he knew they could be just as Jude claimed - loyal friends of Ben.

To get his final answer though he would have to give a brief outline of what happened … he needed to see that flicker … the one that showed guilt or anxiety of being found out, or that stiffness that came from its suppression. If anyone showed those signs he and his sister would isolate them till outside help came.

Making sure he could see all three he turned and act if need be his attention back to Jude and got in a fraction of a second before the challenge saying in a gentle but commanding tone. "**Jude.** When I met Ben he could not give a name, needed to stay hidden for the safety of his wife and nephew, didn't trust hospitals and said he would explain when he woke.

Unfortunately he woke without memory, was silent, but understood what we were talking about and remembered day to day things. Didn't like being in the house or buildings, preferred to walk but would reluctantly travel in the back of an open truck.

We hoped he would talk and remember as he recovered but he didn't. Because of the note we assumed he had remembered everything and decided he needed to go home immediately to sort things out. I only had the area where we met to go on so I checked local internet paper and found nothing about a wife welcoming lost husband home or a body fitting his description being found.

We didn't need to use a name as he was always around and Betsy called him Joe once she started talking and after he left. Like Helen said earlier we assumed he'd safely sorted things out and picked up his old life but had not succeed with his idea about house and couldn't bare to face us. From what you've said in the corridor it sounds as though sometime after he left us something happened and it put him back into a similar state he was in when he recovered consciousness at the farm."

As Bob stopped talking he already had part of the answer … there'd been shock and disappointment from them all and no telltale flicker of guilt or suppression of it … so these were friends not foe and he had to trust them. The other part regarding his freedom was now in Jude's hands thanks to his brother in laws words and so waited silently for them to work things through.

Silence and tension hung round the office.

Even with heightened awareness Jude was shocked into wondering what the hell it was about Ben and trouble. He'd picked up about Ben's fear regarding wife and nephew and not wanting a hospital so understood why Bob was cautious. … Knowing some of Ben's history he knew that fear could have been caused by flashbacks of his past brought on by … what …depression, an accident or possibly an attack of some kind by the sounds of it. … He slammed down the dark shadows that started to form knowing he needed more information Bob hadn't given dates or place and he knew that was deliberate. The same as his lack of information about Christmas to Mid March on the board when he uncovers it. Hearing the outline he needed reassurance that Ben had been all right in February that he'd gone south and been attacked near the farm and they'd taken him in as both doctors could look after him and he hadn't needed the hospital just looked like it. He must have recovered and remembered and was then attacked again on the way home … but the first shelter contacted hadn't said anything about injuries so was there a gap but there couldn't have been time....

He closed down the questions that were starting knowing they would have to wait and he'd have to take it a step at a time. The next step would be Antonio and Tyus's, he knew they were shocked as he was but also like him would be working their way through it all and would give him their silent answer. While waiting he mulled through the other point … Helen and Bob hadn't reacted adversely so they must have given the right responses. He understood Bob's edginess … he could be locked up guilty or not … still could. One to one situations were difficult especially if there wasn't any hard evidence to support what went on … and that was why Bob needed to know what Ben remembered.

So what would happen if their two stories differ … the two doctors with good reputations could refute anything Ben says and Tyus had already warned them that Ben might not remember things in the correct order or properly. On the other hand there was Bob and his career and Tim's admission Bob was first contact, which means he might have hoodwinked sister and brother in law. There was always the possibility that they all know what happened and their coming here was not a coincidence it was all part of a plan to get their story in first so Ben's would always be on the back foot so as to speak. For that they needed prior knowledge that Ben was here.

In all the pros and cons there was a big point in their favour – Betsy and Ben's obvious unconscious concern for her. Her reaction coming up the corridor could not have been manufactured it was pure delight and Tyus and Antonio would have seen the change as soon as she saw the photo and they would work with that.

He knew Bob and all the pitfalls and twists and turns and was not looking for a quick fix … well not sending Bob straight to jail anyway … nope he'd have him out and about or under Tyus's care if need be. So he'd give Bob leeway rather than confront him and find out about the note and that might even give them the hard evidence they needed especially if Ben wrote it. As for Ben well he was protected and Benjy was being watched and Maria was close at hand as well ...so no one could be snatched… not without being noticed that is.

Coming out of his thoughts he saw Antonio and Tyus shift slightly in their seats and knew they'd come to their decisions just hoped it wasn't going to be one for and one against. He turned slightly and gave a briefest of nods to tell them he needed their answer now and knew Bob would understand the signal and felt Helen relax beside him which was strange. It was as if she'd read his thoughts knew his conclusion which was creepy ... unless of course because of his silence and lack of action she was still coming down from the high of possibly having to take him hostage ... and saw Tyus and Antonio nod and with the barest of head movements looked past him to focus on the covered timeline board behind him.

He knew they were all thinking the same, which meant it was time for the real give and take to start and they would work as a team hopefully. Though he wouldn't let Bob know just yet he wanted a couple of facts and for that he needed Bob to believe this would be interrogation rather than a chat and working together. Schooling his body language he turned towards the covered board and raised his hand and gripped the coversheet ready to take it down and glanced towards Bob saying. "When and in what state was Ben in when you found him **and **exactly how much do you know about him?" and knowing it would split to couple pulled the sheet down, Helen would read and Bob would answer his question.

While the others were thinking Bob moved quietly so he could rest against the arm of the sturdy chair relieved it didn't look as though Jude was going to arrest him … yet. From the tone of his voice though he still needed to gain Jude's trust and as the timeline came into view he gave it a quick glance and saw it was complicated and the gap between Christmas to mid March and knew his sister would read it through and pick up anything important. Knowing Jude needed his answer he turned his attention to the man and deliberately ignored the first part of the question by saying. "Not much more than I told you. His clothes were well made, casual and torn.

But, because of my job I know a bit about accents his was soft English therefore could be a visitor or new to the States rather than living here since early childhood or second generation. From our time together at the farm I know he's intelligent knew his way around a plants and possibly a farm as he helped sort out and dismantle a lot of bits and pieces.

Once on the farm and via the internet I that newspaper for the first time and found there was nothing about a wife missing a husband so I assumed he intended to disappear. Nor was there anything asking for witnesses regarding a possible robbery or attack where the victim had disappeared..."

Knowing Ben's dislike of hospitals ever since his brother's attack and wanting clarification Tyus butted in. "So you found him hurt in some way not just mentally or physically exhausted."

Still keeping the support of the chair and crutches Bob eased round to face Tyus again and answered. "He was hurt physically and in shock I needed to get him the medical help he was comfortable with, which I did. … There was **no** way I was going to go around asking questions and endangering lives on the few words he'd spoken to me. I know from my job how just a slight slip could lead to deaths of people not involved in the conflict ... crime."

As his words silenced any more questions he carried on hoping this could get them thinking as a team rather than one sided interrogation it was threatening to become. "There were several possibilities as far as we could see - that these were two unconnected incidences he needed to or had disappeared … and then he'd been mugged … so he was not from the area I found him in. With travel being global it could mean he came from anywhere and we needed his input before we started anything at all.

He could of course just be an innocent man who was unlucky enough to have been mugged or carjacked and it was the shock of knowing personal information had been taken from him as well as money that caused his words. So, once he was safe and well he would remember and explain as promised and we would act.

Lastly he was a criminal and it was crime related, he had crossed his boss or they had crossed him or he needed to stay dead to his family so he could carry on his life of crime or to keep them safe. Or he was betraying the boss and needed to start a fresh else without his family and he was worried for them. Touching any of those would be dangerous for him and for us before we knew anything.

I reckoned by keeping him at the farm we had the situation under control if he needed police help of any kind I could bring the Police Chief in without fuss or even use my contacts if another country or States were involved. If need be I could go in and contact the family without anyone knowing even bring them to him.

Also between the three of us could bring him to justice without harming anyone else. I must admit it helps having the Police Chief in the family circle, **but** we didn't get that far he only knew we had a traveller without a memory and were hoping he would remember as trust grew.

Unfortunately I was called back to duty once I was fit so Helen and Tim looked after him, from what little we know of him we felt we could trust him. **No** I didn't hurt him I had no reason too … unfortunately I can't prove it till he remembers everything in the right order." He stopped and looked at them in turn ending with Jude.


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

Knowing Antonio and Tyus were tucking away their emotions while working through what had been said and what had been left out, Jude met Bob's defensive glare realising they hadn't got his full trust or the whole sorry tale yet. Trouble was he didn't have time to pussy foot around, between the 'good' doctor and the media hounds snooping around, Ben's so call freedom would soon be at an end and said firmly. "**Bob **I believe you, and I'm the officer in charge of this matter. You know police procedures as well as I do. **So** you know I'm putting a lot of trust in you and your sister by doing this. That trust also comes from the Police Chief. Ben needs all the help he can get right now. **For that,** I need both dates and exactly what happened as soon as possible not sometime in the future at your leisure."

Not expecting any immediate reaction he broke Bob's glare naturally and as an equal as he moved away from the board saying. "Before you both read the timeline of Ben's recent history let me introduce you to Dr Tyus Robinson, a senior consultant at the hospital. He's Ben's doctor, known him for a few years and been treating him since he came back just over two days ago. Ben has a cough and chest infection, which is improving with treatment.

On his left is Father Antonio Torres who's known Ben for many years was his brother in law and **is** his friend. He often takes travellers to our shelter in town and found Ben on the beach watching the sunset, he didn't recognise him because of the way he was dressed etc. Ben only spoke a few of words and had no memory of his past or where he was. **But**, he was willing to trust Antonio and the use a porch at the Mission as he did not like the idea of staying at the homeless shelter. On the way there they were separated after some firecrackers going off scared him. Even though Antonio hadn't given him directions Ben found his way to the Mission and a known quiet place in the cemetery to wait. **So** subconsciously and in flight he knew where it was and it was a place where he felt safe.

When Antonio found Ben he didn't remember the meeting or the firecrackers but he still trusted him and has done ever since. The next morning when Antonio realised who his traveller was he took him to see Tyus in his garden and Ben managed to explain fragments about himself. From that and cards he gave them we traced him back to mid March and you are the only ones left on our list. From what you've told me and everything we've found out it appears he's been silent until he saw Antonio."

He paused and still looking at the couple he altered his tone to emphasise his next words rather than shouting at them knowing that wouldn't do any good but wanted to get his point across. "Since he's been with us his memories from around here are coming back. Granted, they and his speech go at times but he still trusts Antonio and Tyus and the person he is with now. If he can trust them enough to make this much progress I'm damn sure you can too."

Not bothering to wait for their or Bob's reaction in particular he immediately turned his attention to Tyus and Antonio and began to fill them in. "This is Dr Helen Weatherfield, apparently Ben was under her care and this is her brother Bob whose past we discussed earlier. Patrick is looking after Helen's husband Tim, Betsy and Sy and they are meeting Ben's lawyer Charles when he's available. We will all have a conference with food later."

As everyone stayed put but nodded greetings, Tyus turned his attention to Helen and knowing her qualifications asked. "Did you treat him as a patient rather than someone just needing help?"

Helen nodded catching the undertone of the sentence and explained. "I put a photo on his chart, then signed and dated it as I do for those who can't sign for themselves. You could say we've just misplaced each other because I've never signed him off. Why?"

Tyus smiled liking her attitude. "I might need your back up to keep him in my care and out of a padded cell that's been threatened. As a senior general consultant I should use Cedar Oaks and their consultant but Ben has issues with her regarding previous family treatment and what happened after … and in that particular case I agree with him not the Doctor.

Later this morning that 'good' doctor is going to a Judge to get 'close care' order for Ben's own and others safety. We were all right as I've been using a long distance consultant but unfortunately he will not be able to get here till tonight due to a crisis at home, which means we are running out of time. As soon as Jude's finished you can read Ben's file and we can come to an agreement on treatment and head her off."

Helen gave an understanding smile and nodded.

Seeing trust given by Tyus Bob relaxed a bit and said quietly "Oh great a Shrink war." His sister eyed him to which he shrugged and kept his innocent expression then carried on quickly. "Jude, is Detective Ricardo Torres an ex-brother in law as well?"

Jude couldn't help smiling at the humour and Bob's quick change and memory, and hoping it was a good sign answered without hesitation. "Yes, he's Maria's and Antonio's older brother, he's with his wife and baby at the moment. Technically not Detective but is with our CSI group so will help check and coordinate things later if needs be and I trust his judgement."

Bob nodded then wanting to get more information rather than give it stated the obvious "So Ben's not married now."

Jude hesitated not wanting to get into that kind of detail but he saw the need and hoping to keep it brief gave in. "No, he and Maria were divorced on Christmas morning last year at a special sitting it was by mutual consent, neither attended. They'd been separated for a few years due to a boating accident where she was thought to have drowned. It's marked briefly on the board but you can read the files later if need be. We need your help to fill the gap in." He would explain what other bits they knew when necessary.

Instead of offering information as Jude had hoped Helen and Bob turned as one back to the board and studied it.

Jude smothered a sigh as he understood the big silent hint and that to fight it would take time so carried on. "As you can see Ben's past up to Christmas Eve is complicated to say the least. Come to that rest is as well. He never spoke of his past when he came here so we only found out about Derek because of the first kidnapping and as with all timelines it's done with hindsight.

As for my history with Ben, I only knew Derek as Ben from September to Christmas Eve morning, though I was very briefly introduced to the real Ben at Liberty Corp on the day he left town. He was going as I was coming in for a meeting. I'd just arrived in Sunset Beach to join Liberty Corp as the third partner, which was true, but I was also working undercover after the …" He sighed out loud this time, knowing just how twisted it could become and didn't want to get side tracked again and carried on. "Let's just say after the senior partner died."

At Jude's sigh Bob turned round and saw Antonio and Tyus's half smiles and gave Jude a questioning look.

Jude said. "The man pretended to die and came back in disguise as cousin … dying and coming back seems to be a habit around here I'll explain later."

Bob gave half a smile and nodded then turned back to the board while Jude eyed Tyus and Antonio in disgust and got shrugs back as he continued to fill the others in. "The nephew, Benjy was thought to be Ben's son, DNA confirmed it … we had no reason to suspect the twin involvement or it was the mother who was different. Ben found out about that change on Christmas Eve morning as the escape etc was happening. Benjy has been adopted by his mother's sister and husband and is living away from Sunset Beach.

As Ben has shown concern about Benjy's safety I've had it checked and is on going. Unfortunately we don't know what or who we are guarding him against or if this is just part of Ben's mixed up memories. **But,** as long as I know where Benjy is I can reassure Ben and hopefully it will get him over that fear and on to the next stage.

Details are on file but the very short version is Tess, Benjy's mother is in jail for life with a possibility of parole in the distant future. Because of this and with Maria being unable to look after Benjy as planned, they both agreed to the adoption. Tess sees him once every two months so we know she's is not a threat to Benjy and Ben was there when she was arrested Christmas Eve morning.

Helen turned away from the board for a moment asking. "So you're saying Ben would not be concerned at all about his wife."

Antonio knew this was his field and answered straight away. "No. I believe once they got over what had happened they'd be close friends. He took a long time to accept her death and move on … so he'd answer a call for help or pass the time of day with her or even got out as a group. He cares for all his friends and workers, that's why he made the arrangements he did before leaving on Christmas morning and why he helped her when she came back with memory loss."

Helen nodded and turned back to the board as Antonio carried on. "**Bob,** you said Ben was hurt so add that to his recent history he might have been confused about her status but had picked up nephew rather than son because that must have hurt deeply."

Seeing Bob's nod and wanting to reassure them they cared as the blank gap after Christmas Eve might give them the wrong impression he added before Jude could jump in."Ben left us on his own free will, he knew what people's reactions would be … he'd been through it after the first kidnapping and they were supportive. This time he had to come to terms with killing his twin at close quarters rather than his supposed death from falling down a cliff the first time. Also like the first time his soulmate's life had been put at risk and she and her family would need time to recover, especially if he was thinking of marrying Meg now he would be getting a divorce.

To be honest I was not surprised he didn't turn up at his brother's funeral and that wasn't because he shot him or he didn't love him. Ben had been kept in a closed and open coffin at the private mortuary after he was taken from the hospital so seeing or just knowing his identical twin was in one might have been too much for him. We kept all our old phone numbers including his house one in case he wanted a quiet word and as we were getting worried Ricardo put a photo on a web site..." He stopped seeing Jude's warning look he was going too far.

Helen didn't look round as she'd gradually immersed herself in her patient's past hearing Antonio's concern, understood his reasoning and picked the information up while carrying on reading the timeline. She therefore didn't realise that as she nodded agreement she then muttered her thoughts on going. "… that's so unfair to be trapped by a mad woman instead of escaping … …Therefore in Seattle you knew he'd kill if cornered so that made the threat to family, friends and soulmate very real. …… So you behaved and hoped. … Did that make you feel guilty knowing what he was doing I bet he told you some of it. … Then you came here … … during the rescue your friends were in so much danger …could have died with you … and your son became your nephew. … And then you killed your twin... … Did you feel you'd become him because you had both killed? … … If so you'd have to find yourself again. … …For that you had to leave them … You poor man … … no wonder you shut down on us."

She swung round to the two sitting down in full doctor mode saying with an edge. "I trust you didn't think 'been there done that' so didn't need help on Christmas Eve. …. Did you?"

Bob turned and silently watched knowing no one would duck out of that question now his sister had the bit between her teeth.

Antonio sighed and looked at Tyus who looked at Jude who knew they were silently passing the buck and could not blame them and knew it was too long a story to go into now so said gently but firmly. "**Helen**, usually he would have had help from them and the police but Murphy's Law was in full force that day. It's in the file. But briefly due to circumstances beyond his control Antonio didn't know about Ben's kidnapping etc till very late Christmas Eve by which time he thought Ben would be asleep. Tyus had been out of town during the day escorting an ex-patient here for a wedding on Christmas Day, then he went straight onto a busy evening and night shift in ER so could not call round and knew a phone call wouldn't do. He had the early reports that Ben was all right and trusted them.

Individually they decided they would see him Christmas Day morning but he'd left before they could. Because of the Torres family complications Maria could not look after Benjy after they'd been released from Southern Avenue Christmas Eve so Ben did, which meant he was not alone. Meg was with him for part of the day and saw him briefly in the evening when they agreed to see each other Christmas Day at a friends wedding and would take things from there. You've got to understand Ben is a **very** private and **very** capable man and he was coping."

Not wanting a question and answer session till he had dates and the story from them he shook his head at Helen's attempt to butt in and carried on. "He was seen out and about with Benjy and he sorted out family matters. In the early hours of Christmas day he left messages on answer machines explaining he realised people close to him needed space to come to terms with what had happened and **he** needed to mourn his brother's death without their guilt or pity. He was thinking what he was doing - he took his car and money with him said he would be in touch. He was, granted the emails were infrequent and could not be replied to but we knew he needed privacy. Now because of Ben's arrival here we know the last email, which was different from the rest was a forgery…"

Jude stopped because Bob glanced towards his sister who was muttering. "He seems good at leaving messages." Helen realised she'd said it out loud and carried on turning her attention Jude and Tyus. "As his doctor I need to hear the answer phone messages as soon as possible and see any writing he did that night."

Jude nodded and was going to repeat his last bit realising she might not have heard it and hoped to find out if Bob's glance was just because of her mutterings or something he'd said, but was stopped by Tyus's comment. "I listened to them just before you came; I had no reason to do so earlier. He sounds as though he was coping though but a bit tired which was understandable and as Jude said he was thinking. He definitely was not at the end of his tether or going finding somewhere to end it all.

Meg and Charles were not too alarmed by his tone either when they first heard the messages otherwise they would have told the police or Antonio. It was the other circumstances that made them fear a bad outcome but their fears were proved wrong. They … like all his friends were sad he felt the need to leave but understood his thinking and reckoned he'd turn to new businesses as he'd done in earlier years before coming home."

Helen nodded remembering the very self contained shell of a man she knew and remained silent as she checked through the rest of what Jude had said and waited to see if Bob would take the lead and explain everything.


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34**

Bob had gone back to the timeline contemplating the twins from a professional view point and without turning round commented to Jude rather than the others. "Kidnapping is a power trip regardless of whether it's for money or revenge or even desperation because things have gone pear shaped. … Your victim's life is in your hands while you control others around you because of that fact.

I would have thought taking Meg or Maria would have given better leverage and Ben more pain. He could put his brother through loads of hoops before taking the money … if he remained free he could come back for more another time and his brother would know that. Let's not forget the protective father for one and a protective brother for the other to give Ben Hell while it was happening and after. So in fact it wouldn't matter which one Derek chose … though I suspect it would have been Meg.

But … on the other hand being an identical twin it would have given him a unique thrill or opportunity as well as a way to control a potential danger point. By being Ben he could live his life compare his version … possibly prove he can out think him … and as far as he was concerned improve it. Or possibly just use it close it down and move on eventually. … He'd also have that 'rush' of ultimate power when he proved to his twin that there was just one now and no one knew he was gone or in trouble so technical he no longer existed never existed… dead without dying.

Guess as he messed up first time round got wised up to the pros and cons and came back with the better version."

He turned and looked at Jude as he carried on. "Begs the question why keep the brother alive for so long if he was such a danger point … someone who could turn things people round knew his thinking. After all Seattle's a good distance away from Sunset Beach and there's a very good dumping ground out there. Nice and wet with tides to keep bodies from coming ashore. Of course if the body came ashore he could always be identified it as the wrong twin … Ben was known to live in Sunset Beach not Seattle … and there is always the fact fish don't take long to do damage so it most probably wouldn't be necessary.

I would have thought the hidden joke of being Ben would have worn off or even worked against him, Derek couldn't brag about it so his ego had to be kept down and he had to watch himself all the time. Though I guess being a twin it would not be hard he already knew his brother. There's also the fact that each person who knew was a potential threat and four months of being a jailer is a long time and there are risks and tensions no matter how well they had Ben wrapped up in storage.

Then there's his wife Tess, of course if she didn't know about the change over till the end then she would have just seen Ben and carried on as normal or as she and Derek planned. But if she knew what was going on then she was not only being two timed she was the 'slave' of the couple and saw her son favour them not her and that must have hurt. So her prize must have been big, though there might have been an implied threat regarding the son, which kept her in line. But on the other hand she could have worked that to her advantage I get the impression both twins like intelligent woman not doormats and for Derek that could be a danger so he most probably kept the change over a secret.

In any case Derek must have given himself a time limit and his ego wanted his brother to see how things were before he said the final goodbye … hence the trip home. Christmas provided not only a poignant time to do it but one when other people would be distracted … especially if he wanted Maria out the way so he and his real family could stay. That would mean Ben dying as Derek anything else would mean they'd have to move away immediately and that could be complicated with a child in tow. No doubt Derek could not resist the odd tease at Meg's expense even though she'd already left Ben that would have boosted his ego.

Jude nodded and added. "Ben got bad headaches when Derek was around and playing nasty, he put them down to stress the first time as he believed Derek wasn't a problem."

Bob nodded slotting it in and carried on. "That explains it all. As for Ben in Seattle, he would have been snatched after he'd been booked in and rang home if necessary … say first time out of the hotel. I've no doubt Derek would have hinted about the final out come even teased him with it. The jailer could not have been just anyone, he would have had to be strong, and I don't mean just body strength. They would have taken all sense of time and dignity away from Ben given him rules and punishment I suspect silence was one of the main ones.

So if there was no hope of escape in Seattle Ben would have banked on his brother and or jailer making a mistake when he was brought home. ... All scenarios would have been playing through his mind all the time. … Transferring to new ground is always tricky … you never know what might happen … as this case proved. It was a hellavalot for him to cope with and then you add the fall out."

Feeling a twinge in his knee and leg he sighed adjusted his weight and crutches then carried on. "I'm guessing as the press are out there that Ben's not only an influential member of the town he's very rich. So, you are thinking as we are in money trouble and got the knowledge we duped Ben possibly killed him and because everything went wrong we moved on. Ben unknown to us survived and now we can give a twisted story to cover our tracks, which Ben in his present state would find hard to refute.

We didn't … we wouldn't … Ben gave Betsy back to us." He said earnestly and then giving a half a smile and his tone changed as he added. "You know what Jude … I'm damn glad I didn't win the lottery recently and got rid of the receipt." then asked seriously. "How much could he have lost?" and eased himself into the chair resting the crutches on the floor not realising a flicker of relief that flashed across his face as his knee eased a bit was noted by Tyus.

Jude had to smile, the Master had come out but knew the fugitive mode would come back if he pushed wrongly and went over to his seat knowing the gap on the board gave nothing away and sat down saying. "It depends on where you are in his story. I'm hoping he has a flat or room and business of just over half a million dollars before you found him. I'm also hoping his car was in your outbuildings or a garage at the said room or flat as it's not been flagged up as stolen or crashed. He had two to three thousand dollars in cash. Mixed large notes, we had no reason to want numbers just the amount. Derek was talking about going off on holiday with Maria leaving Tess and Benjy behind hence the cash. We found false passports for all of them so I guess his mind might not have been made up of the final permutation though his son I would have through was a given. We handed the cash and a card over to Ben so he had something use while the rest was checked over."

While he was talking he noticed Bob's attention go to Helen who was settling into the chair next to him and thought he saw a flicker of a covert message between but could not be sure. They'd schooled their expressions all the way through so far it might have been the easing of tension now they'd got this far and his over active mind or hopes he'd get all the information he needed for this piece. His hopes silently rose as Helen started to quietly rummage through the large folder bag.

Then he got distracted by Bob's comment that had a hint of amazement in it as he'd figure something out. "So Jude you're saying his suggestion of moving the house could be he would actually **do it** for us … rather than him giving us advice on how it could be done if we managed to get the money together. Father Antonio said business was his lifeline before and you said he had two to three thousand in cash and there was no quibbling over half a million dollars being used by him … **so** he's what a multi millionaire rather than a single millionaire?"

As he turned his attention back to Bob Jude nearly swore out loud in pure frustration, knowing the man had neatly side stepped **that **question again and said sharply "Yes on the first point and he's very rich and the story made television news over Christmas and I don't want that mess again." then added very firmly hoping he would not duck out again. "**Bob**. We need the story **now **so we can put things in place to back track his movements and get things back to normal … **well**, as near normal as they've ever been."

Still meeting Bob's straight look he could almost see him working out the pros and cons only to have Helen finish rummaging and hand over a piece of paper to him saying. "**Jude**. This is the note about the house."

For a split second Jude nearly screamed at their tactics of giving one thing while stalling with the other, but smothered it in a short clipped "**Thank you**" taking and reading the note and quickly picked up the phone and dialled then stayed silent getting control of himself and answered as soon as the phone was picked up the other end. "Paul I need you here but don't let the others know. You'll be let through."

Hearing Paul's puzzled "Okay" he rang off and dialled again on pick up said. "Let Paul through immediately please."

After putting the phone down he reread the note just to make sure and wondered about coincidences and looked at Helen and Bob and said in a more relaxed tone than earlier. "Apparently Patrick and Sy came up with the same idea but not how to bring the brothers to heel." He ignored the quizzical looks he was getting from Antonio and Tyus he would tell them about when Paul came in.

Helen smiled understanding completely and commented. "We thought it was a good idea as well, but as Bob said a suggestion assuming we got the money together as a family, which we couldn't. **So** you think he might have considered a long loan for us … start paying back once we settled back in and used it to make cash or our prospects improved at the hospital?"

Jude stayed silent pondering the two questions and how to put something to Paul when he came and was interrupted by a knock and the door opening. He looked at Paul who was out of breath from running and said gently. "There's no fire and I didn't want attention drawn to this."

Paul shrugged his shoulders and came in closing the door then said. "Till you get to your corridor it's like dodgem cars only with people not cars and the Desk Sergeant is threatening to use the fire alarm as no one is paying any attention to him so be warned."

Jude smiled and checked through his folders till he found the page he was looking for then handed it to Paul saying. "I need you and the IT officer to check the writing in Ben's statement about Maria's drowning against the note in the evidence bag."

As he picked up the piece of paper Helen gave him and slipped it in the evidence bag, he decided to put it all out in the open so they would understand where they stood and explained to the others. "The statement I've given Paul is dated and witnessed so we know its Ben's writing not Derek's.

**Paul,** keep the two together as they might be needed in court later and I'd like another copy of Ben's police statement back here to go in my file. I also want to know if this was traced rather than written, if you're not sure we'll find an expert to check it. Come back as soon as you've got an answer don't ring it through and keep it between the two of you no one else."

Sealing the evidence bag he looked at Helen and asked knowing she would understand the implications of his actions. "When do you think he wrote the note?"

Knowing it would give him one of the dates he was looking for Helen answered without hesitation. "March 2nd the day he left us. He took his bag with him so we knew he could get transport and food." With a small shake of her head she added. "Don't know why he didn't wait for us to return, we'd passed on an early message from Bob that he needed picking from the station so we would wait for him. Betsy's accident happened the day before and the doctors insisted she stay till later on the next day although x-rays said she was fine and Tim and I are doctors..."

"Was Ben hurt in the accident?" Antonio interrupted forgetting the intrigue about a house and just beating Tyus to it. Jude just listened as he wrote the date down on the form pleased information was coming at last.

Helen answered as she'd been there. "He was shaken, bruised and had the wind knocked out of him but not actually hurt if you see what I mean. He'd grabbed her out the way of a passing car reckon the force of the air from the moving vehicle couple with his movement meant they inevitably hit the ground hard. She knocked her head and was unconscious; because of that he rested against another car's wheel and held her till the paramedics took her to the ambulance. We knew he wouldn't go near the hospital so Tim checked him over then went back to the hospital as he was on shift. John drove Ben back home in the open truck we used … he didn't want the lift but he'd never have walked it. I rang the farm as soon as I could and told John who told Ben that Betsy had come round in the ambulance. He knew Betsy was coming home the next day I made sure he understood it when I collected her overnight things. He saw us off when we went to collect her and from what the others say he seemed all right even helped out in his normal way.

The damn train was delayed just outside the station so it was evening by the time we got back and found him gone. The two workers didn't see him actually go; the last sighting of him was sitting by the pond just after lunch so any when after that. We found the note on the porch table and assumed the accident had triggered his memories and he realised he needed to leave." and stopped knowing it was Bob's turn to carry on.

Itching with curiosity Paul didn't think he ought to ask highlights so reluctantly kept quiet and took stock of what he'd heard. Tyus and Antonio looked at each other and silently mulled over this information.

Jude knew there was rethinking to do and the other date was really important, but also the three needed to know about the letter and by doing this Bob or Helen might even give him the information he really needed and glanced down at the note and said. "Ben's note reads as follows. 'Sort out things at home, see about moving the house. Suggest brothers' burnt out wreck and parking lot. Offer equal amounts. If all else fails Judge or Chief jail them together."

He looked up at the group and said softly "I guess he missed a turning or two on the way here." and added so his three would fully understand. "Moving house as in bricks and mortar or as one piece on the back of a large lorry, according to Patrick the burnt out wreck is also a large house with two liveable rooms one each end of the ground floor. As you can guess each brother has a room and they haven't talked for decades and blame each other for the fire."

He paused for a moment then looked at Antonio and said softly. "You know I really hate to think what would've happened if we'd put Ben and Derek in the same jail block let alone cell." He saw Antonio smile and turned to Helen and asked. "Did he show any sign of memory in the days before he wrote this note?"

Helen took a moment to answer, she'd been watching Paul the newcomer to the group, she'd wondered about challenging Jude about his presences … she'd seen his confusion as he listened but she'd also kinship of equals in trust with the others and knew she had to trust Jude's thinking. She also hoped her brother would accept it and not clam up and said. "No absolutely nothing during the day though during the morning of the day the accident happened I saw him glancing through a newspaper. But I didn't think he was actually reading the articles more like subconsciously looking for clues … hoping something would come out and hit him …. Not quite the right word to use but I suppose his memories might have been shifting but he wouldn't have found any as it was a local paper.

He rambled a bit when unconscious it was only a short time but I got a description of a man who seemed to haunt him then. No other words made sense and there weren't any names said. When he came round he was silent showed no reaction to Bob or the description or the picture I drew. Seeing this reaction I knew he'd totally shut down and was relying on instinct, which meant we had to tread very carefully if we were to bring him back to us or anybody in fact, one wrong move and he'd slip into unconsciousness or coma.

The only thing that really disturbed him was living indoors so he lived outside; he didn't appear to fret about his silence or loss of memory he seemed content to be with us. I often wondered if Betsy's silence and hurt made him stay, provided the thread we needed … they were two of kind and they trusted each other in a strange way. Though at first they were a bit like book ends each end of the seat that looked over the pond by the end Betsy would snuggle up to him as they read her favour book … they made up hand signs using things they could see. Then one day she giggled over something he signed then I heard her voice as she started reading the story to him. It was amazing to see and hear I was just going to call her in for lunch. He did what we couldn't do. Was he strong on family?"

Antonio could imagine the picture having been around when Benjy used to tuck up close to Ben for stories and knew Derek did the same and said. "Yes he was great with Benjy used read him stories take him on treats so they would get to know each other. Don't forget Ben's friends are his family once you got his trust he'd respect you and look after you but he'd also give you space if that is what you wanted.

Without consciously knowing it one of the first things Ben did at the Mission was to clear Derek's grave even now as his memory comes back he is drawn to it. Yesterday he was sitting beside it trying to work out why Derek turned on him. He was silent and used sign language he wasn't angry he was confused looking for understanding because he just wanted his brother's love.

He didn't desert Maria when she came back at Meg and his wedding reception without her memory. Granted he didn't want the threesome they had at Ocean Drive but he did it because the doctor treating Maria said it was best for her, Meg was agreeable to it and he was still legally married to Maria. She never knew Maria before but had befriended her when visiting Cedar Oaks so knew her as Dana. Ben wanted to find another way that would enable them to be friends together and not just a way of dropping her off on her birth family and walk away from her."

He paused, seeing Helen shrug and nod and wondered if she was agreeing with the other doctor and realised what had been ticking in the back of his mind and turned to her brother and said. "Bob, you mentioned Ben was worried about his wife and nephew it's possible he meant Meg. There are so many twists and turns in their story and Ben hid his strong love for Meg he didn't want to force himself on her. Meg admits she never realised how strong it was and her own feelings were confused by events, otherwise she would have stayed with him and helped him through it all rather than leaving and giving him space.

Derek managed to confuse us by playing on the fact that Ben loved Benjy and that Meg had walked out on Ben before he left for Seattle. So it was logical to us that he went to Maria for Benjy's sake. In the first kidnapping using a two way mirror Derek allowed Ben to see him seduce Meg in bed. Ben was tied up but not gagged Derek used the threat to Meg's life to silence him in the second he drugged Ben to get his memories and used them against us."

Bob sighed and nodded and said quietly. "No wonder he wouldn't give a name or accept one later."

Jude couldn't blame Paul for staying put and he wasn't going to let him go now, he'd been churning everything over in his mind and the dark shadows of earlier were cascading through the others. If he was right then no one was going to like the answer to his next question and this time he was not going to be deflected. He turned his attention on Bob and fixed him with a look that said he would throw away the key to the jail into the next galaxy if he didn't get what he wanted and his tone told the others he'd reached the end of the line. "**Bob give me the date you found him."**

Bob knew he could not delay anymore and hoped he got them to explosion of anger and not a lynch mob mentality but he didn't know Paul, though the others accepted him as equal. He also knew he needed to be defenceless but mobile and the crutches were a weapon in Jude's eyes and he would use the gun in his desk given cause. He needed to see everyone's' reactions especially Paul's, and met Jude's look and nodded then reached forward to get the black marker on the desk knowing that writing would be better than speaking. He got up a bit awkwardly feeling his knee complain especially without the extra support the crutches gave and hobbled over to the white board.

Tense silence followed him as he made sure no one could see where he was writing the line and information till he moved away. He wrote the time and date knowing Helen would act if need be then turned to watch the watchers as he awkwardly moved to one side.

Jude's exclamation of, "**Hell No! ... Where! **" broke into the others stunned silence as they started to realise that everything they thought of about Ben's trip away had to be revised.

The time **6 am**

And the date **26****th**** December 1999** glared back at them from the Timeline.


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35**

Bob stood still silently watching them with Jude's demand ringing in his ears, knowing he'd got them beyond the lynch mob stage as he was still standing and there'd been no flicker of guilt from Paul, **so** like the others he had no secret to hide about that date or happening. All he saw from them was deep deep shock and heard Jude's sharp but calmer **"Bob!**" and knew by his silence he was sailing very very close to the wind.

He shifted his weight and felt his knee complain worse than before and said calmly "I had to make sure I could trust all of you for Ben's sake as well as my own because I ..."

Though shocked by the date that still screamed at them from the board, Tyus could work on two levels. Level one he knew Ben was safe and recovering, level two knew this patient was not; he'd seen the flicker of pain earlier and heard the hint of it in the man's voice as he just spoke so cut across his last words in firm full doctor mode they would all understand. "**Bob,** sit down before that knee becomes an emergency case **and** we don't get any answers **or **you see Ben for 24 hours or so."

Jude glanced at Tyus saw he wasn't fooling, looked back at Bob and nodded his agreement and added reassurance regard the person Bob might still hesitant about. "Paul can be trusted as much as we can. He has worked closely with Ben on the computer side of his business **so **Ben trusts him."

Bob had recognised Tyus's tone from his brother-in-law and knew doctors had needles; he was also happy with Jude's reassurance so nodded and hobbled over and eased into his chair. As he made himself comfortable he hoped the group were ready for the next step because he was going to shatter any assumptions they might have had and looking at Jude said calmly. "I can show you on the map or take you to the exact spot I found Ben if needs be. It's on the coastal road about half an hour south of a place called Castletown. It's mainly shrub and grassland no houses or cafes or garages near and I hadn't seen any other traffic for awhile.

There was silence and wide eyed looks from the group and he knew assumptions had indeed crash landed and shattered into little pieces.

Jude was absolutely horrified he had expected Bob to say near their farm knowing Ben had all Christmas day to travel there but this was so close to home it started making him feel guilty … for what he wasn't sure. While part of his mind was picking up the shattered pieces the other part scooted to possibilities. That Ben travelled to Castletown then holed up there sleeping during the day to avoid people or just because he was tired … then after eating say a late evening meal was … what moving on and had been attacked. Or perhaps he was thinking of staying in the area so he could be close to home for quick contact but far enough away not to be noticed …shutting down that circle of thoughts he clutched at straws by turning to his file and found the improved photo of the blond and handed it over to Helen asking but deep down knowing the answer. "Have you ever seen this woman?"

Helen was glad Jude was thinking in spite of the shock and looked at the photo and said confidently without looking at Bob. "No." then passed it to Bob.

Bob looked at it "No not that I know of. Is she connected with Ben?"

Jude's mind clicked back into focus … he now knew there were two strands to go on and he didn't want to expand on this one just yet. So nodded and retrieved the photo and turned to Paul, who he could see was just surfacing from the shock and knew he couldn't stay so said gently but firmly. "**Paul**, I need you and the IT Officer to sort out the writing then put this photo through the system and find out as much as you can without asking people or throwing up flags in any way. Just because the trail is cold doesn't make it any less dangerous for Ben and then bookmark pages about Castletown in case we need them later … hotels etc he might have called at during Christmas Day you know him so think what he might have done. Also keep on about the fireworks the firecrackers I can understand the others are different and I don't coincidences."

He saw Bob's questioning look and said more sharply than he meant to. "I'll explain later."

Heading off her brother's curiosity and hearing the strain in Jude's voice Helen butted in gently as she went to her bag. "I've the sketch I've done from Ben's unconscious ramblings if that helps." She found it and handed it over to Jude as added. "He was outside and on his own at night so I don't know if he talked in his sleep but from the shrugs and blank looks I got he either didn't have or couldn't remember his nightmares or dreams. As I said he seemed content to just take things as they came … knowing what I do now he must have been in very very deep shock and to get out of it would take time, quiet and security, which we gave him."

Jude nodded as he looked at the sketch hoping some feature would jump out at him and tell him who but it didn't, seeing how good it was an idea struck him. He glanced up and showed it to Antonio and Tyus getting shakes of the head from both he handed it over to Paul saying. "Put this through Ricardo's programme you should be able to access it now … see if it will bring it to life and photo quality and don't assume nationally so do several. Then check them against the others from Seattle it might give us an idea whether it's the jailer or a different attacker. Then we might have a choice of sending up to Seattle or putting it through the system and see if we get a result. That will take time so if I'm not around give all you get to Ricardo and whoever is with him and they'll know what to do."

Bob was glad his plan was working even if Antonio was too silent and the doctor was itching to ask questions, needing to check what appeared to be Jude's line of thinking he looked back at the board and as the information wasn't there turned back and said. "So haven't arrested the jailer."

Jude sighed seeing where Bob was going and got up to get the map out so they could see the area they were talking about and explained. "No. It was something that was being put off till the next day and Ben had gone by then … again shock, Murphy's Law and inexperience officers played its part. I must admit I was surprised Ben didn't post or leave us a description at the house but he had a lot to get over and things to do, the brief statement he made at Southern Avenue isn't very good, you can see it in a moment.

In Seattle we know a man wore disguises and was intelligent enough to avoid regular routines and places with cameras, most likely did shopping when he went out of the area. The car traced to that address has never turned up. Regarding the disguises he could have found a quiet place to take them off and put them on so lived a second life, the police tried entertainment firms and found out they needed more information to track anyone down a lot of them are one man bands. Due to circumstances overnight Ricardo had time to put the police sketches through a computer programme which made them more lifelike plus a composite from common points, that's what we will check the sketch against.

From what little we know of the man I'm pretty sure he would have left the town as soon as he dumped Ben at Southern Avenue, especially if he knew it is likely Derek murdered the person who helped him kidnapped Ben before. Derek had escalated to a point where he killed when cornered or threatened rather than charming his way out of the situation so he would not be afraid to do it again. The jailer would also know Derek could easily either turn the tables on him make him the 'fall guy' for the whole lot especially if Derek killed Ben and the jailer would know he would have difficulty in talking himself out of a maximum sentence with Derek as Ben counteracting everything he said. He might not have known we could tell the difference between Derek and Ben."

Jude paused for a moment letting his mind click into what he knew and ignored the silent requests for information from Helen and Bob before carrying on. "Derek learnt by his mistakes and like Ben he was very intelligent, if twisted. We've never found out how the jailer was paid but I assume it would have been in instalments to keep him happy and so Derek had control. I suppose the man might have been watching Ben followed him out of town and attacked him and taken the money etc if he was missing the final payment or just wanted to silence him. But that would have taken a lot of nerve or desperation and two cars to get rid of. He wouldn't have known Ben hadn't given us his description … unless lack of reports about a description alerted him that fact. But that could have been a police tactic for all he knew.

Ben was out and about for a while with Benjy which might have made tracking him difficult and there were press out and about as they knew something was up. Come to think of it they would have made a good cover. I would have thought if the jailer wanted payment he would have held Ben to ransom if he got close enough. Though leaving his body at Ocean Drive or on the shore line might have given him a thrill." and closed down those thoughts and laid the map on the table so Bob could show them where he found Ben.

Seeing the area where Bob had pointed Antonio suppressed the feeling of guilt that he hadn't been there to support Ben and butted in slightly shakily with his own thoughts. "It could have been an opportunist crime by someone else. Ben used to walk along the beach or cliff tops at if he was troubled and that could be early in the morning so he might have been doing that and they saw him attacked him and left him on the beach found his keys and took the car out of State still got it."

Jude nodded and gave half a snort. "Yeah well whoever did it they certainly didn't reckon with his nine lives … not too sure how many he's got left to be honest. … … But thinking about the jailer could be they both independently chose to go south after all north goes to Seattle not good for either of them when you think of it. The jailer happened to spot Ben in Castletown and kept an eye on him and as Antonio said saw Ben on the beach and took the opportunity. We assumed the jailer was a one man band still could be … but we now know there's a woman involved somewhere along the line. That earlier photo is a cleaned up ATM picture of her when his card was used in February in a town north of here."

He paused and looked at both Helen and Bob knowing they understood about victims more than he did and voiced his thoughts. "If it was a stranger Ben could have been beaten to get the number etc out of him. Usually he would have been able to fight off an attack but just coming out of a kidnapping situation he might have been too stunted to and his mind slipped into delivery mode and gave them history as well."

Getting nods from them he gave them the other information they needed for the whole picture. "We've got emails from Ben that we now know are false. They stopped the red flag going up when the account was maxed out and time was passing. Whoever wrote them kept them short and focused that was typical Ben, so in that respect it would point to the jailer who would know complete silence would have raised alarms."

He hesitated and then thought out loud. "Surely the jailer had been with Derek when Ben was drugged so he would have had all the necessary information to use Ben's card without beating him up. Ben seeing the man again would have been stunned possibly giving the man ample opportunity to kill him without a struggle. But why leave the body on the beach not dump it in water … unless he thought the tide was coming in and would take it out. That means he might know about tides… I don't know well keep our minds open to two separate things till we get more proof."

Closing down those questions Jude took a deep breath knowing Bob wouldn't like this bit but it had to be done so concentrated on him as he said in as non-threatening tone as possible. "I need to rule you out officially and completely so if you have a computer and you've used it between December and today I need access to it … we've an IT Officer or Paul who's very good at retrieving information if you need security.

Bob gave half a smile understanding the situation and explained so the others would know. "There's one at work and two laptops, one that Sy brought with her hasn't go much on it so you can check that one. I've only been with the family for a very short time and you know what it's the longest and most expensive coffee break and one night stopover ever."

The lads and I had just completed a successful job and I rang Tim and found out they were the other side of the town we were passing through. I had a driver so I told him to go on back to base he could do his report and I'd hand mine in the next day we both had the information on our computers and debriefed on site earlier. The boss agreed so as I had an overnight bag with me I grabbed that the computer and taxi and left. The family campervan is huge and sleeps four easily so accommodation for that night wouldn't be a problem and it had a secure locker so I could leave the computer with it and we stopped to grab a cup of coffee to make plans. But that damned lorry squashed the campervan so that laptop is charred and foamed along with my phone which had slipped out of my pocket and the clothes in the overnight bag. You talk about having Murphy's Law here well jumped tracks that day with vengeance. Anyway your officers will not have high enough clearance for that laptop so I'll have to make a phone call and get them over rather than me going there, which is going to please my boss no end.

He paused for a moment then gave Jude a serious look as he continued. "And, of course you and I know that I could have cleared the hard-drive of any machine I use or hidden details so no one and I mean no one could ever find it. But give me dates of the emails and I might be able to prove whether or not I was in the country at the time etc … again clearance might be a problem. So I'll get them to do both when I ring them. All I can do is try and reassure that you we are **not** the bad guys in this and we'll keep close to you till you can prove it or Ben remembers."

Jude nodded knowing it was all true but the others had to hear it from Bob and made up his mind saying. "Okay you can ring later and tell them to explain it's just a formality which needs to be done and you are more of an advisor rather than suspect. We know the email writer knows about computers his tracks are hidden and in one case a child in a café activated the mail and then a bug in the machine meant a new hard-drive was needed. Before you ask neither child nor mother knows much about computers."

He turned his attention to Paul and carried on. "Paul, nothing gets out about this keep it a strictly need to know basis and if anyone pushes for information refer them straight to me. We'll play catch up at lunchtime but bring the information about the writing as soon as possible so we can move on it.

Paul nodded made sure he had the bits and pieces and left them.

As soon as the door closed Jude turned to Bob and said "Right from the beginning and don't leave anything out. I think we are all working from the same guilt trip we thought he'd moved on to mourn his twin and you and Helen thought he'd recovered and gone home and was safe."

Helen nodded said gently. "Just remember Ben was content with us if it's of help."

Antonio and Tyus nodded and like Jude were wondering how everyone else would react when the truth was known.

Bob could feel the shift of attitude … they were starting to become a team with one goal and emotions being locked down for now and said. "You need a bit of background history. I'd been recovering from a gunshot wound in the leg as well as the family tragedy. I expect you've found out John's firm has now collapsed well it was shaky then so he took any job he could, including an emergency delivery up north on Christmas day. As he has kids I said I'd go."

He pointed to the spot on the map and carried on. "The journey up was good got there late afternoon the truck needed a quick look at and there was a mechanic who lived near the farm I was delivering to … so I didn't go into the nearby town and he had music on while he worked and lived alone. After that I drove for awhile then decided it would be better if I rested in the cab and drove through the night. I slept a lot longer than I intended and after awhile my leg started to twinge … I knew I needed a quieter road … somewhere I could stop and walk then drive and stop again as necessary. I should say I always listen to music when I drive not the news so I didn't know anything was going on locally and home would have been too far for news anyway.

I guess I must have passed the Sunset Beach turnoff or just didn't notice it but I saw Castletown turn off and took it. Just off the freeway there's a lay-by so I pulled in and looked at the map found the coastal road it didn't look too bad and I would be able to stop when needed, it eventually joins another road which would then set me up for the road home. Obviously it was longer than the freeway; I got out hobbled up and down to see if I needed to do a stopover rather than going on. I reckoned I would be all right with stops and carried on. The town was very quiet and by the time I'd got onto the coastal road I'd left noticeable human habitation behind … it was a mixture of woodland, shrubs and grass till the cliff top and sea. It was beautiful even in that light and as I tend to remember places because of my training I can take you to where I picked him up.

As you can see from the map there's a path leading up from the beach I've no idea what it's like as I didn't go over and have look my main priority was the man I found further along. I was driving fairly slow … well a steady pace and looking around saw this shape on the side of the road ahead. Me being me I started to check out the area for ambush etc."

Seeing Jude's half smile he added. "Well, any vehicle is better than walking for a carjacker or thief, mind you the truck wasn't the best but it still could have been carrying something worth a penny or two. In fact it was empty and it wasn't mine to give away not to mention having to walk would have ruined my reputation at home and work.

Anyway I tapped the horn to see what would happen as it had no effect I slowed to a stop keeping my headlights on the figure. Still no movement and still very aware it could be male or female, a carjacker, a drunken, dead, ill or trouble waiting from the shrubs nearby. I go out. I kept a torch in my hand in case I needed self defence as my leg muscles could not be counted on and my ears and eyes well and truly open for movement.

Getting closer I could see it was a he and in real trouble – no jacket just shirt and jeans so he could be very cold, his head was tucked down and was hunched over his knees but his arms were round his chest as though hugging himself. Either to keep warm or to try and disappear as Helen would say … but as he was the only thing by the side of the road deep down he must have wanted to be noticed.

I was close enough to touch him now and saw his shirt not only had rip in it there was blood and sand on it so he must have come from the beach. I knew if he'd been attacked or drunk and fallen he might think I was an attacker so I touched him on the shoulder then moved back so he could see me and I was out of reach. The only movement was a huge violent shiver that went right through him so I told him who I was and was there to help him. He stirred and then slowly looked up at me."

He paused remembering the look very clearly and carried gently. "In my job I've seen fear from rescued victims and I saw deep fear in his eyes and yet as he realised I was not an attacker he reached out for help. Seeing his history I'm amazed he hadn't just curled up and gone totally under as soon as whatever it was happened.

With difficulty I crouched down and reassured him again I was there to help him and started to do a visual check. He had a head wound to the left back of his head and bruises on his face by the way he hugged himself and was breathless I wondered about bruised or broken ribs apart from the cold. I knew he wasn't going to move just yet so went back to the cab and got the flask of coffee, a blanket and bottle of water I keep for the radiator."

Bob paused for a moment letting them get used to the facts then looked over at Tyus with a slight smile as he continued. "I know about first aid but field emergences sometime contradict the book. So I wrapped him up and let him have the coffee. He was extremely cold on the edge of hypothermic and I hoped to get him to a hospital very quickly but knew I could not rush him I needed his trust. He still would not move so I quickly looked at his back washing the sand and blood away and realised he'd been hurt several hours ago as some of the blood was dry.

I looked round and saw the path and reckoned either drunk accident or attack and he'd managed to walk to where his car might have been found it gone and collapsed or just collapsed and no one passed by. The wound on his back and his head wound worried me so I told him I'd take him to the hospital and he got really really agitated and told me in a very shaky broken voice that it wasn't safe. Also his wife and nephew would not be safe he needed to leave, he muttered something about being dead but his voice was breaking and so was he and I needed him calm so I didn't push to understand what he actually said or meant.

He was drifting in and out of consciousness without actually blacking out more like when you keep drifting into daydreaming at a boring lecture. I knew that was from cold and shock of whatever had happened and in view of the wound on his back I was now thinking of gangland retribution. So I assured him I was going south and would keep him safe, I knew I had to get out of there in case they came back. He accepted my hand and we staggered to the truck I helped him in and once settled on the recliner seat in a way not to hurt his back he said he'd explain when he woke and closed his eyes.

I know enough about injuries that sleeping and head bangs could be dangerous but there was nothing I could do to keep him awake and when I couldn't wake him I phoned Tim. We guessed travelling times and decided to meet at the hospital as he could get us a quick in and out on the machines with no questions asked if we classed the man as a traveller. It's a small town and favours were called in … I stopped regularly and checked his breathing and pulse both were steady he didn't wake. In fact he woke up about two days later knowing absolutely nothing and very wary of us but trusted Betsy. Seeing his history I can understand that."

As Bob was talking Helen went back to her bag and as she handed a large envelope to Tyus Bob added so the others would know. "Tyus, those are Tim's notes etc. It was just as well Ben didn't wake till then otherwise we would have lost his trust completely. We found out he had a fine hairline skull fracture and no sign of pressure so he was likely to be concussed but otherwise okay. One cracked rib again hairline but others were bruised so there was no threat if strapped, slightly sprained ankle and other bruises of various ages over the rest of his body and some new ones came up before he woke. I guess some of those were from his kidnapping and he had scratches on his hands. We re-cleaned the wound on his back and were lucky it healed nicely if a bit jagged it wasn't too deep so the scar should go with age. Do you know when the other scar happened because it wasn't that old as in years?"

Tyus nodded and sighed not liking what he was hearing and explained. "Some when after August 1999 we think the jailer or Derek did it we didn't know about it till I saw him with Antonio. From the medics report for the Christmas Eve there were bruises and marks around wrists and ankles and he didn't complain of other injuries, no doubt the bruises and strains from his fight with Derek came up during the day."

Bob nodded and said thinking out loud seeing the situation very clearly. "Yes that makes sense the wrist and ankle bruising added weight to my criminal theory. As for the first scar across his back, Ben might have been drugged to be compliant rather than actually unconsciousness. Derek would need to prove his power over his twin as he'd escaped the first time. Ben would have been stripped to underclothes so he'd own nothing and Derek could wear them back to the hotel. Would have been made to knee and his jailer would have held his hands onto the floor, submission pose. Then Derek would have used the whip once just deep enough to hurt and restrict movement but not enough to require outside medical assistance. It would give the message that Derek ruled and there was more to come if Ben disobeyed. No doubt Ben was gagged … or was instructed to remain silent through out any noise would be punished at the time or later. Then the jailer would have treated the injury to prove his power over Ben with threat that he would hold treatment such as pain killers if necessary. Then under their instructions he would be dressed and chained."

Turning his attention to Jude and ignoring their shocked expressions he carried on. "So I think we can say Ben met the jailer again either Christmas day evening or very early on the 26th. Unfortunately they both chose to go south and stopped at the same town to rest over in before moving on and as you say Ben has used one of his nine lives.

It would have been far enough away for him not to be known he could have stayed in a big or small hotel in a small one he could buy peace and quiet if necessary. Being Christmas it might have been difficult so he might have stayed in his car. If in a hotel it's likely he only paid for the day if no one has come forward to say he didn't come back … although he might have warned them he was thinking things through and might move on and they assumed he moved on accepting the money as a bonus.

As Antonio said he liked to walk near the sea to think so the jailer might have spotted him as he moved out of town and attacked taking what he could. Quiet road so less likelihood of see a patrol car, the woman you mentioned might have been with him and that was why Ben wasn't taken up to the top of the cliff and tipped over … just left for dead so the night or early morning would finish him off and the tide would take him out. I didn't see any traffic till sometime after I'd picked Ben up and that was coming from the south and I only saw a couple after that.

You are right though not to discount a stranger doing it … his words about wife and nephew could have been scrambled thinking he was on the edge of hypothermia.

I should mention he had something screwed up in his hand, it was in a death grip and we had a devil of a job getting it out. We flattened it and it could be a photo, we took a copy which we kept to see if we could enhance but couldn't it was too badly damaged to get any sense out of it."

Helen had got it out the bag and handed it over and said. "As you can see it's very difficult to make out … the dark area could be hair and the light a face the other smaller areas could be background it could be anything really. I put the original in a sealed polythene bag and gave it to him when he came round. Though he show any recognition of it he wouldn't let it go and was reluctant to just leave it on the side table. So I gave him an old duffle bag and he linked the strap round his arm and it never left his side not even in sleep. When it was obvious he was not going to stay in the house I made sure he had clothing, food and money in it knowing it would always be with him." She gave a sigh and added. "I wrote out instructions on the food box and money envelopes now I wish I'd thought of putting our address on it but I honestly thought he'd stay around the farm till he remembered everything and it wouldn't take all that long."

Antonio said quietly trying to get over the shock that all made sense. "It might be of Meg. In our talks together since Christmas she mentioned he had a photo of her on him when he was kidnapped and kept it close afterwards … it might have been so engrained in his mind it stayed regardless of the state of it or of him. Perhaps he screwed it up to hide it from his attacker and he meant Meg when he said wife but his mind was confused due to cold or shock to explain."

Jude nodded while Tyus got up and said firmly "Coffee and I need to look at your knee Bob."

Jude agreed they needed a break and he had possibilities to ponder; he hated it when his mind shadows were proved right and things had been darker than they'd thought … but at least they knew now Ben had met a friend when he needed one and he was home now.


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36**

The sorting out of drinks gave everyone time to remember that Ben was safe and they could work from there so the tension in the room eased a bit. Tyus put his untouched cup of coffee to one side and got his bag and approached Bob knowing full well the man didn't really want this now but needed it and said casually. "Here or in private."

Knowing the reason for the comment Helen stirred her coffee and chimed in helpfully. "I've seen it all before so he can drop them here."

"**Sis!**" Bob exclaimed noting Antonio wasn't fazed by her comment or its meaning and knew Jude wouldn't want him in another room as he'd have to yell questions and answers or miss something. **And** of course, his darling sister knew **exactly** why he was hesitant, usually lack of privacy wouldn't worry him but things had conspired. He huffed and said looking at Jude as he awkwardly got up and then dropped his trousers. "No comment, thank you very much." But knew damn well the man would not be able to resist it especially as the Priest was trying very hard not to smile and had stopped the attempt to start drinking his coffee.

Jude didn't bother hiding his smile and commented regardless of the risk "Umm Red love hearts with arrows and cupids … now that really would give your mates something to talk about."

Bob eyed him dangerously and sat down to allow Tyus to remove the bandage Tim had put on and explained defensively. "**As** **I said** my change of clothes went up in smoke or got foamed as did the others when the van copped it. It was a small town, two boutiques for the ladies and a very small store for the men and there were only two pairs left in our size. Tim had the plain dark blue ones as he had Sis on his side and I had these. Now, Sy's brought the reserves from home, if I'd been given a moment I would have changed in private." Giving Jude a really sad hurt look he gently exclaimed. "Oh come on! I couldn't leave Betsy in tears, a shaky sister and brother-in-law to fly across state to get a change of underclothes now could I?"

Jude smiled, chuckled and shook his head and knew they were okay and pushed the file over to Helen saying "Ben's medical and other history for your written or verbal version of how he was on the farm."

Helen smiled liking the fact they could now talking freely and handed her file over and said. "The short version is - he total closed down on us but could function as a normal person … over the weeks he gradually started to open up to us, not verbally but in the things he did. Tim and Bob brought him home unconscious and we put him in a downstairs room and someone was either with him or very nearby with the baby monitor on all the time. Tim had him on a drip and he was bandaged to protect his ribs, back and ankle should he start thrashing about.

Betsy's silent request for water was the first I knew he was awake it was the usual case of turning away and the pot boils over. I'd just popped out to visit the bathroom and had left Betsy on guard. She'd taken to him as soon as he arrived and was happy to read her book or quietly played with her toys while listening to the music we had on in the room. I had noticed his breathing had changed earlier and thought it would be a while before he woke up hence the quick visit out.

Now knowing some of his past he might have been subconsciously hiding till he thought it was safe … trusts children rather than adults. But that could be a dangerous bit of hindsight.

He was guarded with her but trusted her more than us certainly. Once he realised that she trusted us he wasn't too bad and of course it grew over the hours and days. They had meals together … the first time she sneaked food off his plate and then he seemed to relax and eat his food after that I left them to choose their own plates once I or Tim took them into the room. You might think we were foolhardy to let them alone but he was too weak to do much and as he got stronger I knew he wouldn't hurt her. I must admit I hoped by being around him she would break her silence … she did in the end because she wanted to not because we forced her. First of all I wondered if he copied her silence but I know he didn't it, it suited him too well. Once he was awake long enough and could get off the bed he got agitated and refused to stay in the house.

Being winter it was cold and we weren't sure he could cope with it but we had no choice really so we showed him the old stable, which has gone now. … It had a fire place with a very crude hot water system and an earth toilet as well as a sleeping bench. That's when we found out it wasn't just our house he didn't like to be in … he stood outside the doorway and refused to go in. Tim pulled a bale of straw out into the doorway and fixed the doors back so they would give him some shelter and we got a nod of acceptance. The stable had an over hanging roof so that gave added protection and he had bedding and a large tarpaulin sheet plus an old riding coat and a woolly hat, which was just as well as some nights were below freezing and wet.

We made sure along with the fire in the stable that a couple of braziers were kept alight day and night. They were very safe and one was used as a cooker so he could cook his own food as well as accept meals with us. We put another one by the seat near pond as it became a favourite spot for all of us. It turned out a very useful way of getting rid of old wood, fuel etc. The bag you know about and we made sure the food that would keep in case he left us."

Suppressing other thoughts as he drunk his coffee Jude asked. "Did you have a way of keeping him from wandering?"

Helen gave a gentle laugh then explained. "One way in and out and the hedge helped and the geese … they lived next to the old stable he used."

At their puzzled looks she explained. "Apart from being very good watch dogs the Gander was very possessive and didn't want to lose the hand that fed them and we gave our stranger that job as it didn't take much effort. You could say he became one of the flock as he slept so close to them, they would stay close if not the flock then just a couple and if he got to close to the far gate the message would go out and would get our attention. It was quite amusing and if we wanted to find him we looked for the geese as I said he seemed content to stay. Possibly because he could remember anything else but being with us, one of the things he liked to do when he wasn't working was to sit looking across the pond … with or without Betsy and of course if he was alone it was a very good excuse for a quick cup of tea or coffee with or without cake and a quiet one sided chat. Though his body language and signing was very good once it was up and running and he was a good listener ... he never got up and walked away us if we sat with him. But he never sort us out for company.

Once he was moving freely and although we didn't know his other phobias we had him up on the shed roof and doing other dismantling work as well as looking after plants and animals etc. He's a very good worker, you only had to show him things once and he could remember jobs that needed to be done from one day to the next. He also knew how to dismantle an old fashioned hot bed, we thought it had to be done brick by brick but he showed us the joins … it was prefabricated … that was when we thought he had past experience in farming or growing plants even though his hands had shown no sign of outside work.

Bob thought he was an officer work or businessman … cooking the books came to mind…. anyway we put instructions and the bits on the back of one of John's lorries it went to another farm not far away. … We were trying to make sure everything got a good home knowing we wouldn't get much for them our deadline was March."

She paused for a moment letting things calm down in her mind and looked across at her brother and remembering about Ben's note and added. "Do you think that's when he got the idea about the house being moved but it didn't surface till later."

Bob shrugged but nodded 'yes' then went back to watching Tyus, who as far as he was concerned was the threat and let her carry on.

"We managed to get him in the back of our old truck by Betsy walking with him and when she got tired she insisted on him carrying her and of course after while he got tired so accepted the back of the truck. From then on if she was there he was okay with it and then after that he would accept it if reasoned with but he didn't go out much not town anyway. He needed to know exactly what was going on no hidden agenda's or surprises so it was other farms or friends on the edge town."

"So you never left him alone in the town and he never went out by himself then." Antonio asked remembering the cards.

"**Oh No!**" Helen exclaimed horrified at the thought.

Jude found the card and handed it over saying. "Ben gave Antonio this card; he'd showed it to the other shelters and got ones in return. Did he have many blackouts with you?"

Helen took the card as she gently exclaimed "No! He never blacked out and we didn't let him out of our sight when we visited the other farms. His world was us and the farm even though he knew it was being dismantled." Recognising the card she realised everything said. "That's Joe's card and that's why Betsy called him Joe after he left … possibly why she accepted him at the beginning and even his leaving. But that was just over two years ago and he was much older than Ben."

She was going to leave at that then realised they needed to understand so explained. "He was a traveller, very quiet wouldn't speak to strangers and suffered from fits as well as being a very good gardener, earned his keep from it and was well known in town. When he was around he lived in an outbuilding because he liked the open space, he had a set of gardens he always attended. He would also get the odd meal from them and they set up a look out system ringing us or the next garden as necessary.

His fits would come with little warning, he would not necessarily blackout usually he would be still and look into space for a few moments then recover but would not know where he was or what he was meant to be doing. Hence the jumper and card and phone system, he hated being chaperoned when out so went out on his own and after he'd done the gardens he would move on to other farms and would come back week or months later, he would tell us when he was leaving but then…." Not being able to finish she asked. "What was Ben wearing when you found him Antonio?"

Antonio realised Helen didn't want to end the story, by the tone of sadness guessed the man never came back probably died and the coincidences of Joe and Ben hit a nerve and said. "A part from lumberjack type shirt and Jeans, a large multi coloured jumper that was later recognised by Patrick and a baseball cap which shades more than his eyes. He never goes out without them but will take them off when he feels safe such as in the garden or in his area at the Mission though he used the jumper as a blanket one time. He did say using the cap helps with his headaches and he's blacked out on us once definitely … that was in a garden when he came round was silent and confused so I took him back to the Mission where he gradually with promoting recognised things. The first time was at the Mission when I found him sitting on the low wall, I can't say I woke him as I couldn't see his eyes just that I got his attention by touch and voice. That's why we thought the card referred to him and I think he did as well."

Helen said thoughtfully. "Well that might happen if his memory was … is coming back too quickly for him to accept … and going back to a base would be a good thing. He would definitely have headaches as well. … So, perhaps they'd started that day as well … that could be why he took Bob's cap, the peak would help shade his eyes and ease the headaches without the aid of drugs. He must have gone into the kitchen porch either to find us or to get the pen and paper saw the cap and found or realised it would help and got it knowing it was there. … I wonder if remembering things squashed his fear of buildings … could have realised it was from his kidnapping and knew that was over and it was all right now."

She paused for a moment then carried on thinking out loud knowing no one would mind. "So something suddenly brought it all back and perhaps subconsciously he wasn't sure how long his memory would stay so he wrote the note as a reminder to take with him but left it behind ... possibly already losing memory. … But why put the jumper on … could have seen it and did it automatically … it was still a bit chilly and if he'd been by the pond. … Well he knew they were warm and had worn them … knew we would recognise him in it … no … anyone in the town would recognise where it came from so he'd get back to the farm somehow. … Couldn't use the phone didn't know our number … but we had helpers there and he knew we were coming home so …."

Bob butted in with a slight edge as Tyus was starting to concentrate on the knee as well as easing the leg in different positions. "**If** he'd remembered all of it, it would have been a jolt in itself especially if we assume it was the jailer who mugged him. … **So** it's possible he forgot about the two helpers were especially if they were out of sight and he was coming to find us. … Perhaps he needed us to be in town to get things sorted he might have needed Bert's advice about the attack or help finding out what happened afterwards. He might have wanted to contact Charles or Meg that quiet first contact there was a broken promise to consider."

Helen nodded and took on that line of thought out loud. "The geese had been sold so they weren't there to stop him or warn anyone he was leaving. So you're saying since then his mind has been running through his memories as he slept and closed down on waking because nothing gave him the right triggers and he needed to be alert. **Therefore **he's been subconsciously looking for us and or Meg and the jumper's not a shield to hide behind but a big flag waving so that someone can say to 'its okay I can take you to Helen and Tim's farm blab blab'. Once back at the farm he would have the necessary triggers and we'd have the note to show him.

But it never happened so he carried until something triggered off the Sunset Beach recognition and sent him to that beach where Antonio found him, that added another trigger which woke new information sending our information to sleep. If Antonio hadn't found him Ben would have wandered around found other triggers possibly getting recognised or would have gone straight to the Mission because he knew that was a place to get help either way he was home."

Jude interrupted gently. "We believe he heard Antonio's voice on the radio at his last shelter … it was an appeal for a runaway lad."

She nodded and huffed away that 'if only' feeling knowing everything was hypothetical and in the past … but they could work from them and carried on taking her thoughts back to the farm and the next step. "So, something must have happened as he walked along the driveway or as he got to the road to go into town. If a local saw him they would have stopped even the bus would have and he could have mentioned the railway station or got a lift to the police station he'd seen Bert with us. Perhaps he remembered his promise to Bob to tell him when he woke… He might have felt as though he'd just woken up and was looking for Bob … I'm assuming of course he'd got his power of speech back as he remembered things.

Therefore he must have been unlucky the road was empty so started walking to the left into town and got distracted or got lost perhaps … turned onto the narrow side road which loops round the town. Or something made him turn right instead of left and he continued that way which would have lead him away from town. We are assuming he remembered the route in perhaps he lost his memory as he walked up the drive surely he would have stopped at the top."

Helen stopped and looked back at the board for inspiration … glancing through his history checking it against the time he had on the farm and exclaimed sharply "**Hell!**" making everyone flinch and Tyus stop his examination for a moment.

She turned back to her brother who was looking at her with concern and she forgot everyone else saying calmly. "What, if they started culling the birds the day he left rather than the next day as we thought. They would have done it late afternoon as the birds flew in, if he was at the top of the drive or even walking along the road it would have thrown him … possibly shut him down again. … Though it was at the back of the farm the sound would have carried and been to the left of it so it would be between him and the town.

The gunshot that killed his brother would have been all around him and he would have felt it and then the rush of guilt etc afterwards. **If **he'd just remembered it all he would have been fragile …. **if** it had been just one he might have collapsed and then realised he was not hurt or had that rush of guilt then crawled back to the farm or under a hedge and recovered. **But** it didn't stop **they** would have kept on coming for anything up to ten minutes and it would have frightened and confused him especially if the birds were flying around as well. Antonio said he ran from the firecrackers he could have blacked out from shock came round knowing nothing but hearing Antonio again would have woken a trigger even if he didn't realise it.

Back at the farm if he'd been along the road or driveway he'd have run away from the noise and kept on till it was quiet and he felt safe possibly even hiding in the bushes then blacked out either from shock or exhaustion. When he came round his mind would have needed triggers to help it wake up again or lock on to and stabilise … one of course would be location if it wasn't anywhere near our farm it would be totally new to him so no triggers.

So, as he had his bag with him and he would have found out about food, money, the notes told him how to get food when the box was empty and he had clothes but nothing else. … That could have become an automatic reaction … wake up look at bag eat or find and buy food … whatever. He might have remembered something about the photo but not exactly what it was just something he needed to keep near him another reason to protect his bag.

Regarding the card it must have been tucked into the pocket so he might not have found it right away. It was useful only locally and he knew us not my sister and her husband so the names were different. In any case we hardly used names as we talked to each other. He must have been able to read the card to have given it to the people at the shelters and there must be something significant about shelters for him to know he was safe around them as he didn't like buildigs. He obviously didn't feel safe enough to walk into a police station and ask for help."

Antonio knew the possible reason and said. "He funded a shelter here in memory of a close friend of his who had been homeless. And … he'd had trouble with the police in the past believing what he said."

Helen looked at Antonio knowing there was a deeper story there but that would be for later and nodded her acceptance and carried on. "If he was remembering things during sleep they were most probably very scrambled not having time to settle before the scare. So, they would have been scary in themselves especially if the sound and pictures didn't match, they would be like a very vivid dream or nightmare. I doubt he would be able to explain them to himself let alone anyone else and there's a possibility he would not remember the day before either.

He would have unconsciously fallen back on what had become second nature during his time in Seattle and that was silence and waiting with a good helping of mistrust. He is a quiet and patient person by nature and we didn't push him into speaking or memories because it could have closed him down into unconsciousness possibly never to wake up."

She felt a shiver run down her spine guessing she wasn't the only one she carried on. "He trusted his instincts, without realising what they were or what they were doing and they kept him safe and were taking him back to the place and the people or person he felt safe with. And I'm not forgetting that special tie identical twins have either but I'm also thinking of parent love and upbringing if he had a loving home. The jumper of course stayed as a flag taken down when his instincts knew no one was around to see or recognise it and help him." She paused and looked over at her brother for his thoughts.

"Yes it's possible. At least we** Ouch! Tyus!"** Bob exclaimed sharply trying to disappear further back into the chair as the pain brought him back to here and now and out of his sister's scenario.

Tyus had quietly gone back to his examination as the sister and brother talked and had listened knowing it sounded horribly right and scary. He also knew he had a very slippery customer on his hands **and** he'd just found the right spot at long last. Now he needed more information so asked. "How and when did you get your injury or is it classified and are you allergic to any drugs."

Helen's gentle laugh and tease. "Oh he soo wishes it was classified but it isn't." broke the tension that had been building up.

It stopped the shivers that had been running up and down Jude's spine as he'd listened and had been trying to work out whether Ben had been lucky or unlucky and couldn't stop the smile at the looks Bob was sending Tyus and now his sister and gave a gentle command. "Go on … he's very persistent and got large needles to threaten you with."

Bob huffed knowing he like the others had to get rid of the thought of Ben being out in open without friends or clue who or where he was. It brought back too many memories and said casually. "No allergies except for a certain sister. I didn't want to fall downstairs as I know from past experience you bounce and they hurt."

Helen's gentle laugh edged her serious tone. "You have to admit a) what you were avoiding and b) you were drunk at the time."

Bob eyed her and said in a hurt tone. "I wasn't drunk if I had been I would have been on the sofa or the bed downstairs fast asleep and not going up to my room,** which** would mean this knee would not be a problem." Then glanced at the others adding in a lighter tone. "Granted it was 2 am and I was a little merry just coming back from a successful mission. **But**, how was I to know **the** bear was waiting to get me."

Jude noticed that even Antonio managed a slight smile and asked "How big was it?" guessing whose it was.

Helen smiled showing with her hands it was a smallish cuddly type definitely not the big attacking type that might need shooting while explaining. "It's Betsy's favourite, silver grey and has a growler when pressed, luckily she had it with her when the van went south otherwise we would have been in **big** trouble. Today, though she wanted to show she was grown up so left it in van but I expect it's with them now."

Bob sighed at the grins and carried on his sorry tale. "If it had been bigger it would have been all right my foot would have knocked against it or I would have seen it. It was the ideal alarm against an intruder as it was in the shadows and right in the path to my door." He looked at his sister as he added accusingly. "**And **as its Betsy favourite** why** wasn't it tucked in her little arms in bed that night then."

For a moment there was a brother and sister moment as they eyed each other and the onlookers knew neither really felt threatened by the other, then it was over and he carried on getting the tone spot on being a good story teller. "**Why?** Because my loving sister had bought Betsy something new to play with and **hadn't **spotted the poor deserted little bear when she'd put Betsy to bed. **There was** **I** being quiet as a mouse so as not to disturb anyone's beauty sleep when **suddenly** there was something soft underfoot which growled menacingly as I put my weight went down.

**So! not being drunk **…SpecialOps reactions kicked in and I swiftly moved out the way only to realise I was just going to go down the stairs I'd just crept quietly **up **at double speed … I twisted round so I could land on the landing. … If you see what I mean. …. But the wall tangled with my leg and I ended up opening one of the bedroom doors a bit quicker and noisier than usual and ended in a heap of agony ... which I manfully smothered in one word.

**Needless** to say my sister thought it was very funny."

"I didn't!" Helen said indigently remembering the fright she'd had, and then added with half a smile. "But sometime afterwards … yes … especially as his mates gave him a 'get well' present."

Jude was laughing though he sympathized with Bob who was looking crestfallen and nudged the answer. "How big is it?"

Bob smiled letting everyone know he wasn't at all cross with his sister for letting that one out. "Just under six foot when standing, silver grey and growls really loudly, goodness knows where they got if from. What Helen missed out was they gave it me at the office when I went back and it had a note round its neck implying junior would have grown to that size if I hadn't stood on it. Of course I had to walk it out to the car, which was three floors down and then it had to sit on the back seat all the way to the farm, the flat's too small for both of us. Betsy loves it and it usually stays in her room." He huffed good naturedly. "I'm just pleased Sy didn't bring it with her as a sisterly gesture."

With the gentle laughter of new friends he carried on seriously to Tyus. "That was June last year and it's reoccurred twice since, they said it was a strain and would go away with cream and bandages, which it did. As I can't trust it I've gone from undercover to deskwork, advisor come training instructor. But that looks like that's changing as I just moved wrong in reaction to the lorry meeting the van … not too sure what I did actually… I just moved to protect Betsy nothing dramatic like rolling on the floor and it is not improving … hence Tim's orders. I could walk a bit and then it just went yuck with a burning feeling."

The others had started to read through the exchanged notes but kept half an ear on their conversation.

Tyus gave a slight smile at Bob's last description and nodded then quickly did another check getting a hiss from Bob before putting some cream on the knee. He understood why Tim needed Bob to listen to him rather than a brother in law who was a doctor. So as he sorted out the brace and then fitted it explained their plan of action and options. "Well we will have to wait for the swelling to die down and that could be as early as tomorrow or take another couple of days so it will have to be checked. After a couple of x-rays and a chat with Jim we will know if we have to operate. But in view of the history I'd say it's a probable yes … after recovery you'll be able use it normally and do supervised light training but nothing that will tax it, you'll have to check with your trainer at work but heavy field work is out. If you don't have it done, you'll be wearing the brace for a while and it will go at anytime once it's taken off …no warning … you certainly would not be able to go across fields or a rough track even stairs could be difficult and it could go by just you getting up from a chair. Then you'd be back to a long recovery with brace and it will go again even quicker next time.

As for now wear the brace and use the crutches where possible but especially on rough ground they will ease the strain and avoid stairs completely. I'll leave the cream with you and you've seen how the brace goes on don't take it off unless you have to and I don't mind you referring to your brother in law if you want to otherwise call me and if necessary I'll have you in under emergency rules. The cream is a strong one so the pain will go in a while and it will help the swelling go down. I had the messenger bring some spare trousers for you to wear as I guessed you won't be able to fit yours over the brace yours and I didn't think you'd like to them cut down the sides or above the knee."

Bob heard what he was saying and understood why Tim had insisted he see someone else but couldn't stop his glare dreading to think what he might end up wearing after all the brace felt big and hospitals were well known for gowns that gapped at the back but then again he had to wear something.

Tyus laughed seeing his expression and reached into his bag explaining. "They are forces rejects so I hope you don't mind."

Bob smiled and shook his head, he was used to them so it would feel like home and between the two of them he got dressed on then walked using the crutches across the room with Tyus watching closely. When they were satisfied everything was all right they both went back to their respective chairs. Tyus drunk his coffee and he read the medical notes Helen had given him and then went onto the other notes as Jude and Antonio finished them, his mind running through implications and treatments etc.

Bob started reading the notes Helen had finished with letting his own future plans run through his mind. Now he knew he had something to go back to other than just sitting at a desk he could still be an advisor possibly train students and give lecture which would make Helen pleased … he'd be out of the firing line, might even settle down. He knew his family had always thought he'd be the one they'd be mourning not their sister and husband so it made their death harder to deal with as well as the fact he'd been recovering from injury so had not gone with them. Trouble was he liked the adventure but that thought drifted as he read more about the stranger he'd found at the side of the road and his life.


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37**

A knock on the door broke their concentration and everyone looked up as Paul walked in. Giving nothing away he hoped things were better than when he'd left them and addressing Jude handed him two sheets of paper. "It's Ben's writing, right down the shakiness. From the date on the police statement it was written the day after the drowning, so I wondered if he might have been in a similar kind of shock when he wrote this other note. If I remember rightly he'd been up in the helicopter looking for Maria most of the day. He was very controlled and silent with anyone who tried to consul him, don't know if that's any help to you."

Jude nodded and looked at Helen and Bob seeing their slight smiles of relief matched them with a sigh as he voiced his thoughts and handed over the copy of Ben's statement to Helen. "**Right.** If he was in that type of shock from remembering everything it looks like he was still thinking. Hence that note and leaving to find you rather than waiting for you to return but then the shooting happened. **So**, we can assume the combination sent him over the top for a second time, the attack on the 26th was the first time."

Helen nodded and added quietly but firmly "I **need** those tapes and see him as soon as possible. He **needs** that last trigger of Bob and Betsy to bring him out or he'll get stuck in a loop and close down again. That loop will be harder to break as it's been reinforced by the other near misses he's had. Who's he with at the moment?"

Jude looked back to Paul who was looking very worried and reassured him. "The gunshots weren't aimed at Ben but some birds in a wood nearby … just case of unfortunate timing. Find Patrick and Charles tell them the note is authentic and see what they can do from there. I've no doubt AJ will allow the Corp's jet or helicopter to be used if need be, but keep the reason private, Charles will know how to put it to AJ. I'd rather keep Meg out of it for now, but if we need her consent I'll get it after lunch."

After getting a nod from Paul he understood Jude glanced at the second sheet of paper and smiled then continued. "Tell the other detective its okay he can have the IT officer etc for half an hour then we want both back. Remind the Desk Sergeant Annie gets the same story as everyone else and **if** she continues to ring he can have her up for harassment. But first he's to tell her I'll be in contact later this afternoon if possible but it's more likely I'll see her tea time as the murder case is keeping me very busy. Any news on the fireworks?"

Paul smiled nodded and got his mind on transmit and said. "I'm waiting for an expert to get back to me. He's based in the UK. I've given him the sequence of colours etc and scanned a couple of photos; he'll work out chemical combination and size and the suppliers. We may be lucky and find it's a small company and the signature is in the colour combination. I've told him they were set off in this State but nothing else. The report from Castletown was sketchy but they sound similar and it was quiet there last night."

Jude knowing it would be a long job and most probably a fruitless one but that would cross a couple boxes off his list decided plan of action saying. "That's fine. I think it's best if we all meet in the canteen for a working lunch so we can talk in peace, make sure that Betsy is comfortable with it." Jude looked over at Helen for confirmation and saw her nod of acceptance and added realising time was passing. "Say about half an hour."

"Okay something like choice of sandwiches for everyone then." Paul asked.

They all nodded and Paul left feeling uneasy about the new tip bit but knew everything would be explained later and could reassure himself his friend was safe now.

As the door closed behind Paul Bob asked with rising curiosity "What's the worry about the fireworks?"

Jude handed Helen the tapes, a machine and headset then turned to Bob to answer his question knowing full well he hadn't answered Helen's, he'd do that later. "You've read the bit about firework and firecrackers and Ben's reaction."

Bob nodded letting him go on. "Well, what I left out was the background didn't think it was significant, that we had a firework and firecrackers the night before. Last night we had fireworks and no firecrackers. Castletown had fireworks and a few firecrackers night before last and last night they were silent. We now know Ben doesn't like bangs and there seems to be a possible link between the towns and I don't like coincidences though I do know they exist and I could be paranoid."

He ignored the brief smiles as he carried on. "Yesterday afternoon onwards people who read a certain free paper know Ben is in town and has a bad reaction to loud bangs. So our attacker and or jailer might have seen it and thought it was a good way out of a sticky situation without getting close enough to get caught."

Helen had been half listening as she read Ben's statement of the drowning quickly glanced up at her brother before going back to it, knowing her look would be enough to transmit her thoughts.

Jude was getting used to the brother sister silent questions to each other and reading them so got in before Bob could clarify or ask. "It's the fireworks rather than the firecrackers. The firecrackers have been out on the streets before Ben arrived and we were clamping down on them gently. If we went in heavy handed they could have been hidden say under beds for later and that's the last thing we wanted. They are not stable and we concentrated harder when kids got hurt and we knew about Ben. We got more off the streets and looked forward to quiet night, and I had extra officers out and some with cameras just in case some stupid adult was egging kids on. We had a 'Simple Simon' challenge in a chat room."

At Bob's puzzled look he explained in more detail. "We didn't know that till we pulled some kids in and they answered questions, on checking "Simple Simon" covered his tracks expertly so he or she is still free. It started just after school closed as you can guess kids communication was computer and phones so word got round quick. He/she challenged the kids egos said little bangs didn't hurt anyone if lit right and it was against their free will etc, etc, suggested a cover story of homework sleepovers, and got them into groups giving them certain sites and times.

The parents accepted cover stories even delivered the kids to selected homes. Yes the kids did the homework and in some cases arranged to sleep on the ground floors so once the parents were asleep or it was safe some crept out others stayed in so numbers would not be noticed if checked. A firework went off and the firecrackers came after all across town so we were stretched but we got some so found out. The firework could have been the defiant finger to the authority or it could have been in case the kids didn't come through. It was not a small on it had multiple bangs in it, it was damn lucky Antonio was there to help Ben.

Last night I had officers out with cameras so we could really get the kids, but the kids weren't on the street nor were the firecrackers. But about 2 am we had four fireworks set off at short intervals between them and multiple bangs similar to the night before. As you can imagine it was startling for everyone and animals. This would have sent Ben right over the edge if he'd been at the Mission, luckily he wasn't in town last night and that is the one that set my paranoia off."

He ignored Helen's silent plea of where and why and carried on knowing this would not go outside the room. "Between these walls I must admit I had wondered about a jealous husband taking advantage of the situation. I mean firecrackers of the previous night not the lone firework or last night. Ricardo recognised the description of a car seen in the area of the Mission the first night and asked Rodney, Maria's husband about before making it official. Rodney apparently didn't know anything about the firecrackers or that the Mission was so close. But he did say he saw torch lights in a field nearby, all very possible. But it could also have been him and the police just saw his getaway and he's covering his tracks. Their main job was to stop the firecrackers and catching anyone was a bonus."

Though he guessed Bob asked "Why even suspect him?"

Jude smiled and gave a short laugh."Suspect is too strong a word really. It's me being a suspicious cop thinking of a second husband's need to bring bread home to his wife. Maria's history and settlement from Ben will influence their lives no matter what Rodney makes of his life. In Seattle I've no doubt they managed to put it in the background it is after all his territory and their new life but its still there.

There is the fact they came back to cash an investment Ben made for Maria and to have a quiet family reunion to mend bridges nice and quietly. But suddenly the press are around and the past is being raked over and the hurt back in their faces and he wants to hit back on Maria's behalf or just on his own behalf to prove he's her man.

He can't hurt Derek he's dead and died without showing remorse for his sins. So next best person would be an identical twin, they are meant to be closer than siblings no matter how they feel towards each other. Being venerable might not have come into his thoughts; it was a spur of the moment thing. … Saw kids … bought firecrackers and let them off behind the Mission and scooted. But was spotted and challenged in front of his wife, so thought up story.

What I do know is Rodney didn't have anything to do with last night's effort as he was with people all evening and night."

"Is their marriage secure?"

Jude looked from Bob who'd asked and over to Antonio who nodded and took over adding. "Yes as far as we know but we don't know much I've only seen them once on this visit. They met in the crisis of Christmas Day, he saw her in a distressed state listened to her and brought her back to Ocean Drive and stayed with her. I'm pretty sure without his support she would not have made it through those first days. I'm sorry to say she could not face us as a family for a while. … She found it easier with a stranger and later a different city."

He paused then carried on with a sigh. "To be honest I can't blame her there were too many people willing to point fingers and there was the humiliation of being deceived as well blank memories to deal with. We as a family were also in chaos at the time, though we did try and help her. The court approved the idea she move and have treatment in Seattle and gave her a caution and fine. We were surprised she went to Seattle, but it's not near Franklin Street and she was determined to go with Rodney who's sold up and was going to a new job in Seattle and he reassured us he loved her and was in for life.

Of course the move was too quick for some people's liking; Maria also insisted we accept her choices and Ricardo wouldn't pull his big brother act on checking Rodney ever. We all agreed knowing we didn't want to lose her completely she was hurting. She didn't change her mobile number so I kept trying wanted her to know her bridges weren't burnt. Usually they went to voice mail and I'd get called back eventually, she called Carmen, her mother once but she was never very good on the phone and she never rang Ricardo. My last call over a month ago hadn't been returned till she told me she was here and wanted to see me.

From those short calls I know it's not been easy for them and Rodney has been the settling influence for her. From what I've seen she appears happy and strong enough to think about starting a family and face her past here. So yes I think it's secure." Antonio hesitated wondering not wanting to break a confidence.

Jude knowing the brother and sister needed the wider picture carried on for him. "I know you will understand when I say again this is just between us, it's been told to me in confidence. It doesn't have anything to do with Maria's relationship with Ben **but** coming on top of what's going on at the moment could have put pressure on Rodney to want to hit out or prove to Maria he is the man. Maria's been told that her missing years will never be remembered and Tess is remaining silent about them. During a recent session in Seattle Maria remembered something she'd buried … hadn't told her family. It was a relationship with another man in another town the relationship was terminated and she came and met Ben and married him so he doesn't know and doesn't need to. Her doctors advised her to tell her family and put that ghost to rest and it would help her make her new life and possibly start a family. She has done that and her family have given her their full support and understanding and the man concern died a while so it can all be put behind her."

Adding things Helen butted in gently. "It was not a one nightstand so Rodney had two past relationships to contend with and Ben's would always be there, via the divorce commitment and would stronger at the moment because they are here and she's concerned about him. Yes it could push him to hit out and now he's done it move on … even feel guilty and if Maria's guessed or he's told her she could see as a sign of his love for her. She's cop's sister so knows the implications and will most likely support him in doing the right thing if necessary as in talking to her brother first before anything official. They support each other rather than break apart … I think for their sakes wait and see how Ben is… after all he came through that experience."

That had been his line of thinking so Jude nodded and carried on. "At present the couple seem to have avoided the press but I don't think that will last someone will have recognised her and see the opportunity of an article. She's not going to shut herself up in the house, she knows we can offer protection but that can be counted against her so she might leave earlier than they planned. Obviously Ben and Maria will not get together again but Maria has said she will see Ben if he requests it. To be honest I think its best if they don't meet now, if needs be she can be flown in later. I also respect Maria's request for privacy regarding Rodney's past and their life in Seattle **but** if I feel there is a very strong reason I will investigate him."

Jude saw from the slight nod from Antonio and knew he accepted his reasons for telling the others and carried on. "Back to coincidences or patterns, as you've read Derek burnt down the warehouse he kept Ben for the first kidnapping. Franklin Street, Seattle the second place Ben was kept was burnt down by a professional, very high heat from basement upwards most likely on a timer as we reckon Ben must have been on his way back here when it started. As far as we know Ben slept the whole journey as you know Maria woke him so it was a straight forward one man drive and dump job.

What is not in that report is by a fluke the Seattle police got a partial print from the scene it's not been identified and it's not enough to go to court. But it's a pointer to someone being there and will be checked frequently against any similar crimes etc, and hopefully one day it will give us a lead. We've all agreed the jailer is intelligent and resourceful, he's dealt with medicating Ben and destroying evidence so he'd know the risks and threats then and he knows there could be one now hence last night's fireworks."

Bob nodded and added thoughtfully. "I agree with sis Rodney could have done the firecrackers and we should leave that for now. There is of course the slimmest of chances that Ben met someone say late Christmas day and sat on the beach and talked like he's never talked before and they were also intelligent and took advantage of the whole situation beat him up, took money etc etc… If it had been a stranger they would have faced a very very angry man who by the looks of things knew how to handle himself and would have hit out and hard so they in turn must have known how to handle themselves and driven off with car. And the fireworks are just a coincidence.

**But I** still go for the unfortunate coincidences that they both went south and met late 25th or very early 26th. Whichever it was he knew with the shock of him just saying "Hi Ben, guess who?" would give him that split second edge, perhaps that's why he had the whip with him and they fought he won and he assumed the tide would come in and do the rest. Maybe the shock of actually killing his victim might have made him run without considering the pros and cons of leaving him there on the beach. He might have just confronted Ben thinking words and being there would make him hand over money and instead they fought. Thinking about cars perhaps he got rid of his Seattle car in Castletown and then took Ben's guessing no one would look for it or him that would mean a cool head.

The e-mails show knowledge of Ben's character and the last one is really neat it gives a reasonable excuse for not phoning as well as expectation of coming home. A twist of the knife as the crunch date would come and go. I think that would have been the last one letting everything take its natural course he reckoned the trail would be cold and dead so make it impossible to get anywhere in finding Ben especially as no body had been found.

He would need to let go sometime and I expect he would have either started up a planned new life or gone back to whoever he was before the kidnapping took place. He and his partner if he has one would have worked the money he gained into his life slowly and quietly. He's most probably been keeping an eye on the papers through the internet so he would have warning if the emails hit the wrong note or the body had been found and traced.

Now as its out in the press he'll know Ben is back, so he'll be making plans for a quiet getaway if necessary but will stay put with his ears and eyes open till then you don't want to move unless you have too. It's easier to move one person quickly and quietly than two or more, he could of course have a getaway planned from the very beginning, which means they most probably live isolated lives something they can drop out of easily."

He paused for a moment then with a slight smile added. "I'd be surprised if he's doing the fireworks there would be a risk of being caught and you've got to get hold of them, if there were several a timing device perhaps. But I wouldn't take that as gospel he could have been passing through and taken advantage of the situation might even stop and watch while the partner packs up for him and they'll meet up and move on. So I'd guard Ben against an invisible enemy but don't crowd him because he'll run to protect everyone."

Jude nodded knowing that was virtually impossibly but he could put a couple more officers in if Ben was out and about the garden centre he'd check that later.

Bob glanced down at the paper he was going to study before the interruption and saw a line of figures and looked back at Jude and Antonio in disbelief exclaiming. "**You're kidding me!" **he gave his sister a quick glance surprised she hadn't said anything and got nothing from her and muttered. "**Hell**, he should have had an army around him, lived in a huge house in the hills and been safe!" he'd been thinking a few million but there was a five an awful lot of noughts after it and the word approximate at the end and knew death was the only thing that would have stopped Derek.

Antonio gave half a smile at the exclamation and explained the one thing that never changed about Ben. "No. A big house with walls and guards would have been the last place you would have found him. He built a nice house on an ordinary plot amongst other houses that faces onto the public beach. It was his wedding present for Maria; there are photos on the next page. Otherwise he would have carried on living in the old mansion which had been converted into small flats. He didn't own it; he paid rent like everyone else, only a few people knew he had a fortune. His was on the ground floor with the garden and the landlord had gardeners to do the work. I always had the suspicion if it came up for development when he was there he would have bought it to preserve it. He enjoys being around people as an ordinary person, blending in with them and is definitely not one of the hug and backslapping brigade, though he tolerates them if need be.

While his money was working quietly and rolling over into other projects and building up, he decided he needed something to keep himself occupied so he started the nightclub, added a café which turned into the internet café and latterly a working partnership in Liberty Corp."

Bob couldn't help smiling at the causal way Antonio said it and added quietly. "And had time for friends, Maria then Meg as well … when did the lad sleep. … **No** second thoughts don't answer that."

Because of the half smile it got Bob looked at Antonio knowing the man was taking everything that had happened to the man to heart and said quietly. "Ben may be quiet but he has a strong character core, he's managed to protect it all the way through this and found his way** home**. You've not failed him now or in the past. You have not failed him he's come out to you because he trusts you and feels safe with you **and we** will not fail him either. Through Betsy we've a unique way to help him but it might take time with a few bumps along the way **but** we will get there."

Antonio nodded feeling the mixture of guilt and 'what ifs' that had been stirred by Bob and Helen's statements settle. He knew Bob wouldn't lie about this and he could trust his words, they'd come from experience through his work with kidnapped victims. And deep down he knew he couldn't do anything else other than what he was at the moment so he settled back to finish reading the notes.

Any comments needed now were passed quietly as no one wanted to disturb Helen who'd closed her eyes as she listened to the tapes, hearing her stranger's voice for the first time.


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter 38**

When Helen finished both tapes she took off the headset then handed everything over to Bob and looked at Jude for approval while explaining. "I need Bob to listen to Ben's message to Charles just to confirm the tone, he knows about people's voices and tension."

That sent the tension in the room sky high as they all knew the hidden meaning of the word 'tension' and Jude nodded approval.

Bob listened to the tape carefully ignoring but feeling of their eyes on him, when he finished he handed everything to Jude settling his thoughts as he did so. He let his posture and voice ease their fears as he spoke to his sister "He's certainly not on the verge of packing things in … I don't think he would … there's still that depth there of willing to wait things out ... looking for the light at the end of the tunnel. It's as though he's changed his mind about something he **really** wanted to do, but could cope with it and he's tired. Mind you at that time in the morning I'm not surprised. He seems to have put the time and date in as an after thought … he suddenly remembered other people's need for it. Bearing in mind he might not have got to bed early or slept well he most probably slept when he got to Castletown either in the car or at a hotel and the shock of the attack closed him down rather than the deciding to move away to mourn his twin's death."

Helen nodded; it confirmed her thoughts of the man and she had to admit though the voice sounded strained she liked it … thought it suited him and wanted to hear it again in happier circumstances. Listening to the calls she'd found herself back at the farm sitting on the seat looking over the pond with Ben beside her making those calls, rather than picturing him in the lounge of the house she'd only seen in the photos. In his call to Meg she'd heard the love and understanding in his voice, in the one to Charles she'd heard the rational in what he was going to do as well as the respect and trust he had for the man. Hearing the tiredness in his voice she knew some potential suicides were good at covering their tracks so wanted her brother's confirmation or otherwise. Help her gauge whether Ben's flashbacks or memories could send him down that suicidal road rather than on the road to recover so she could act accordingly.

Having heard both tapes she reckoned she knew the hopes Ben had put on hold and not wanting to dwell on the darker thoughts she'd hinted at said gently. "I believe Ben has a gentle sense of mischief or giving surprises to people he really cared for … nice ones nothing to hurt them or cause embarrassment to them. It's possible Meg would have had a wonderful surprise at Michael and Vanessa's wedding, that it would have been a double wedding and I'm sure you Antonio would not have objected to the idea."

Antonio had to admit the idea he flashed through his mind until he'd found Ben gone not wanting to interrupt Helen he smiled and gave a slight shake of the head to say he would not have objected.

Helen smiled knowing she was on the right track and continued seriously. "Ben saw Meg Christmas Eve at Surf Central and most probably realised she needed space but got good vibes from their meeting so worked out something out and started to put it into action. We know his plans for the divorce to be dealt with Christmas morning actually worked and I think everything else would have all fallen into place. … He would have then rung Michael and Antonio to make sure they wouldn't mind possibly offer to pay for the reception as his contribution. Meg and Ben were to meet after the wedding instead he would 'accidentally' meet her before possibly in one of the private rooms so she could say no to the proposal without losing face and no one outside the group would be any the wiser. Or if for some reason he couldn't in private and he knew she would say yes and it would not scare her … he would have done it in front of everyone in the Chapel just before the other wedding took place.

Assuming she said yes she would have found her bridal gown from her second attempt waiting for her. Ben knew the boutique as he'd chosen it; I don't know he might well have asked them to keep her choice to one side after things were put on hold. He certainly would have had the clout to get a new sent over at short notice if need be … and that might well have proved to Meg he never lost his love for her.

Unfortunately I think that night all his fears about what happened came back to haunt him possibly as a nightmare or just as thoughts. They would have involved Meg's fight with Derek in the basement, showing Ben he couldn't protect her as he wished; also there would be people's expressions … attitudes as they found out about the kidnapping. You said he was out about so they must have been fresh in his mind and don't forget Benjy's reaction and Ben's love for the child. Possibly memories from the first kidnapping as well who knows? It all would have made him vulnerable and turn his idea for a wedding on Christmas Day upside down especially as he and Hank had not met… talked those unresolved issues through. Perhaps he thought if Meg said yes she'd end up having to choose between her father and himself and that would eventually split them up forever.

From those thought he might have decided to just attend Vanessa and Michael's wedding and see how things went where Meg and her family were concerned. Thinking that through he might have believed just by being to the Mission he would bring a cloud to the couple's special day ... attention would diverted from them on to him and his kidnapping etc …all very painful for everyone including him. Or he might have felt people would give him the cold shoulder because he is identical to his twin and remind them of the hurt he'd caused.

In that state of mind he would not have thought about the smiles of relief for him and respect or friendship that would be shown from the people at the Mission. And in the quiet of the night he would also be realising **he **needed time and space so **he** could mourn his identical twin's death and **his** part in it. No doubt there was also a shadow of a thought that he'd proved to some people right he had become his evil twin because he'd killed him.

She looked directly at Antonio and carried on gently. "I don't honestly see how you or Meg being with him Christmas Eve night would have changed things. That nightmare would have come in one form or another and so would the realisation he needed space and time so he would have left and left alone. That leaving in fact might have been more painful for all of you because you and Meg were needed back here and he needed to let people have their special Christmas Day.

Antonio didn't like it but he understood it and he would have been split in two so nodded letting Helen carry on, which she did.

"As for afterwards had things gone correctly I believe he would have made a phone call perhaps to either you, Charles or Meg possibly sometime during the 26th. He would have needed reassurance that things went well and his reasons for leaving were understood. He didn't pack up his fortune and move off into the night he left the links back and asked Meg to find their future home. He trusted her much more than he trusted himself ... and he would come back quietly."

Knowing she'd brought things full circle and having a clearer idea of the man in her head she looked at Jude and said firmly. "**If** he's with Meg now I hope she **fully** understands that one wrong move from her could send him …

The phone ringing made Jude swear before picking it up. He listened then said "Okay" waited for the connection knowing time had run out and waited for the man to introduce himself. After hearing what the Judge had to say Jude said "Yes Sir right away." putting his hand over the phone and gave a heartfelt sigh then said quietly. "It's the Judge our 'good' doctor's with him and he wants to hear our side before enforcing the 'close care' order on Ben. We're not leaving here so I hope he'll accept this phone consultation." Looking at the two Doctors he added. "Who wants to take it?"

Tyus looked over at Helen who nodded that she would and told Jude the Judge would need a computer to hand while they talked.

Jude nodded and then explained to the Judge they wanted a phone consultation so the press would not get wind of the situation and an internet linked computer on hand. After getting the okay he then asked that Dr Estrada be excluded from the discussion for police security and patient confidentiality reasons.

Hearing a heated debate on the other end of the phone between the Judge and the Doctor there was a moment before Jude was reassured by the Judge they had one to one consultation. Jude then brought the Judge up to date on some of the situation including his fears about the 'good' doctor though he was very careful how he phrased it as there was no definite proof as yet and he didn't want to sound as though he was bad mouthing her. After getting the affirmative the Judge had taken it all on board he handed the phone over to Helen.

Then like the others in the room he sat silent knowing everything rode on the outcome of this conversation… and if they failed he would be the one escorting the doctor to Ben and then the trip to Cedar Oaks.

oxoxo

Helen took the phone and calmly introduced herself, giving the Judge a web page address explaining it showed her qualifications and the fact she knew what she was talking about. Once she knew he had that information she then gave him several names of people he could phone if he wanted person to person references and she would wait for him to contact them.

The Judge realised he knew one of the names and explained he would email them now so confirmation could come through as they talked and he needed a moment to read the web page.

Giving him a moment and hearing his quiet words as he finished reading her qualifications and history she then cut to the chase by saying with respect but firmness. "**Sir** I need you to restrict the movements of the doctor who brought this case. If she goes near my patient or has any kind of verbal contact with him he **will** withdraw into silence, possibly collapse into unconsciousness and either die or be on life support of some kind for the rest of his life. If that happens because you don't take the right action on hearing what I'm about to say l then I will strongly consider bringing charges of neglect of duty or even manslaughter should the worst happen it is after all your job to keep Ben Evans safe."

Helen heard not only the Judge's hiss shock but also the others around her and carried on calmly. "Sir I don't dispute she knows her job **but** she and Ben have issues about past treatment of a family member and he's been honest enough to say to her and his own doctor that he does not trust her, and that is why Dr Robinson went to another doctor for help and had now enlisted my help. I have been informed that the doctor published a paper about Maria when she was still very vulnerable and without her or Ben's knowledge. The paper should never have been considered till months after the end of her treatment and consent should have been asked for from both parties. By not following these rules it shows a lack of trust and a want for publicity regardless of the patient's or the carer's needs. I understand that Tess managed to trace Maria through this article I therefore believe other people could they could have done so and taken advantage of her even used her as pawn to get at Mr Evans it would have not only set her back but endangered her life.

I know I only have notes from the people around at the time but I can assure you they are full and frank and it seems that the doctor didn't show any respect about Meg and Ben's living situation or its possible effect on Maria. It seems Ben had reservations about it but the doctor didn't listen in fact she pushed that her way was the only one and used Meg's friendship with Maria as leverage. From what I've been told she never once counselled the three together or had any sessions with Ben and Meg in fact she left them alone and only saw Maria. I believe Ben went to her when he was worried about Maria's reaction on remembering certain things about the accident but she didn't appear to take the opportunity in counselling him then. If she had she might have understood things better and the pressure that led Maria lie about remembering everything would not have happened.

To be honest with you Maria should never have left Cedar Oaks after they knew who she was, there she had a private room that she was used too, she also had trained nurses who could listen to her fears. Her family and Ben and Meg could visit and join in sessions and with an escort take her out to help her memories come back. I believe she managed to get out of Cedar Oaks unescorted on several occasions which could not have been a good idea for her welfare.

From reading notes about the time after boating accident it appears that when Ben's friends could see he was not coping with the situation Dr Estrada refused to see him said time would work things out. **Now** regardless of the trust issues she knows about, **she** is demanding to have him taken away from a situation he is comfortable with and the people he trusts into one he will be uncomfortable in. I'm assuming Cedar Oaks is the usually hospital set up with secure rooms and secure boundaries Mr Evans can hardly enter a building let alone be shut up in a room and with a doctor he has issues with. There is also the fact she has to get him there I understand he doesn't travel in an enclosed vehicle so the usual wagon is out. So she's going to parade him through the town to get him there or possibly wait till dark in the hope he'd have some privacy I doubt that will happen as word will get around and people will come out and watch. However she does it he will be totally stressed out, he's not had a breakdown he's closedown so will understand what is going on.

**Sir**, she is asking for 'close care' because she thinks he could be a danger to himself and others around him. From what Dr Robinson's has told me her method is to take over total control of her patient giving them control back as rewards for a step forward. It works with quite a lot of patients but it would not work here. Apart from having no control over personal care there will be a 24hour watch either by a tv monitor or nurses looking in a small window or they might be in the same room if it's not a padded cell. They would do it in shifts and the staff will not talk unless he talks to them. This of course will be difficult as he will have slipped into silence to protect himself, that barrier is only just coming down, seeing her will send it up again and it will not come down. As she believes he's had a breakdown and is a danger to himself and others he's likely to be in a straight jacket which means his arms will be strapped down. So how could he sign to anyone … that and body language is the way he talks when silent. For his protection and to calm his mind she could put him in a padded or half padded cell. There may be a window where the staff will watch him otherwise nothing at all wouldn't even know where the door is, there maybe a padded bench to lie on or just the padded floor it works for people who need that total calming silence. Then because he is silent and unresponsive she will introduce drugs to help him talk.

Considering it's believed he was drugged and then chained in a basement with total lack of control over what happened to him none of this is conducive to his situation. **In fact** it will be a hundred times worse because I have no doubt she will insist that a known police officer or close friend is with her as she takes him into custody and to Cedar Oaks. Consciously or unconsciously he knows he isn't a danger to himself or others … it's his memory that is lost not his intelligence. He will also know that the law has sanctioned this and it is being done against his wishes **so** there will be no rescue by friends or freedom because of a slip up that he clung onto in the basement for all those months. He **will **slip into permanent silence that I would not be able bring him out of because the betrayal would be too great. It's not a try her course and if it doesn't try mine it will be too late **he** knows I'm here and **he** trusts me.

Lastly but by no means least she will have sessions with him every day possibly more frequently if he is silent so as to encourage him to speak. She will go over his history each time she sees him and no doubt focus on the kidnappings and the death of his twin as being the pivotal points of his so called breakdown. I believe her main interest is in the uniqueness of the situation and the paper it would produce in the end. It won't matter what his state is at the end, if he somehow comes out of it she will claim it was all her hard work and if he is silent and catatonic even dies she will claim it was the other twin calling him home or reeking revenge and it was done safely in her care not out on the street endangering lives.

The truth of the matter is the threat comes from her pushing her need, and who ever wrote the article in the free paper and informed the other reporters someone must have because the paper is local they are not. I consider that article is slanted so it looks as though he **is** turning into his twin and **will** kill, by doing so people will be on edge and fear him, might even pester him just to see his reaction rather than let him alone.

As I see it given peace, space and control over what he does day to day he will carry on and get his memories sorted out and come back to us. If he wants to go out on the road he should be accompanied by someone he trusts. True he may be startled by loud noises and need watching but he is not a danger to anyone certainly not himself.

You and I **need** to give him that peace and security so he will progress not regress and we can find hopefully find out who attacked him made him closedown. He's already moved from silent and confused memories to talking and some actual memories coming back with recall of new memories when prompted and this is good progress. It will fluctuate and then steady down if he is kept in surroundings he is happy with and I can't say how long it will take either. When I first knew him and he became my patient he was silent with no conscious memory at all so was working on instinctive memory even so he helped my family especially a child who was silent as she mourned her parents' death. We therefore have his trust and I've never signed him off and I'm happy that my family can help treat him now with your permission and protection.

I would also like to reassure you that should I or Dr Robinson feel at any time he needs secure supervision of any kind we will make sure he has the best treatment brought to him rather than moving him from a place he feel safe. I'm sure the Fathers at the Mission would agree to this if not then we will find him somewhere else and I will keep you informed on his progress. I hope you won't mind me reminding you that everything I've said should not be talked about to anyone else not even another doctor or trusted friend."

As she listened to the Judge's comments and then his question she knew she'd giving everyone a shock but knew they all had to understand the full truth of the matter and answered calmly "No sir I can't guarantee a hundred percent recovery no one can. Even with your protection and my supervision and care he could still collapse as he remembers. But we will be giving him the control possible freedom he needs by meeting him halfway with no pressure just guidance and time … his not ours. I will have a better idea after I've seen him early this afternoon; my husband is a medical doctor so when we are around him he will have total care. As I said I've never signed him off so as far as I'm concerned he's under my care and Dr Robinson is his primary doctor so I will be guided by him."

As she waited for the Judge's decision she could hardly breathe was sure her heart was beating way too loudly even to her ears due to the tension. She hoped she'd won her point and had not backed him into a corner by her words and then hearing his final decision and comments said thankfully because she'd won. "Yes Sir I'm sure Jude can arrange for an escort for her. I would like it all the time for a couple of days at least that will give me time to asses the situation and hopefully it will make her to realise the seriousness of your words and back off. I **do** believe she will try to make contact if given half a chance."

With the tension lessening in the room Helen listened again to the Judge's comments and then handed the phone over to Jude who acknowledge the change over and listened and smiled then said. "Yes Sir immediately."

Jude disconnected the call then dialled and got the Duty Sergeant and ordered on the need to know basis two officers to go the law courts and meet with the Judge for immediately for escort duty and two other officers who would change for the evening and night shift and everything would be explained later.

As Helen got her breath back and started to relax a bit Tyus smiled and said. "I'm guessing we've got our breathing space and shrink war."

She nodded and shrugged her shoulders, hoping she wouldn't have a fight, they could be messy and no winners and looked at Antonio who she noticed was looking very worried and said gently but firmly. "I'm sorry but what I said is true and there is another possibility that he will live each day losing it as it finishes which might be all right for him but difficult for everyone who knows him. **But** those are the extreme, from what I've read so far I think we have a good chance of winning a complete recovery because he wants to come back." She then turned her attention to Jude and said softly. "Tell me he's playing garden gnome in Meg's back garden and not locked in the garden shed."

Jude smiled at the way she broke the tension and still made her point she didn't know where her patient was and said "I believe you were coming to see a garden centre that was up for sale."

"Oh no." Helen sighed then smiled remembering the message on the tape to Charles about notes regarding a garden centre and understood what Jude meant.

Jude nodded and asked "What would you have done with it."

Feeling her future plans spin away from her she answered truthfully. "Don't know the background we just assumed it was failing and was outside of town with space around it. We would have used it as we did the farm on a smaller scale of course, let patients have the open space and those that needed rooms and couch use the house. From my studies, which were reinforced by Ben and Betsy sometimes people just need to be allowed to know they can go back to basics and then move on. Any plant or craft expertise would be brought in and anything produced would be sold for income of patients or us. Tim would work in the hospital to make sure we had a stable income." She paused then added with half a smile knowing just how bad it sounded but knew they had to be practical and couldn't live in the trailer forever… one more night in fact. "I guess we'll have to look elsewhere but I assume we can get payment possibly accommodation for working with Ben."

Jude smiled knowing his group were smiling with him and said. "I really can't see Meg turning you and family away; she bought it on Ben's behalf … it was on the evening he returned here actually. I suspect Ben will want to keep it as a garden centre that's why the people sold it to him … to Meg. The paper work is going through and Ben and Meg are in a chalet and garden at the rear of the centre so hopefully they will stay there. I have police officers on the gate and inside so far a couple of press people have been sent packing and the owner has restricted entrance to members and a couple of coaches are due, but they are from outside the area and signed for passengers so that's okay. I think I'm going to increase the police presence in view of our earlier thoughts."

Helen pondered while trying to stop her thoughts diverting onto finding work in town and then said. "It has to stay low key; he needs to feel he can leave at anytime. Of course if he does start walking around the centre people no doubt watch him and will talk so I think it might be wise to close it after today if the owner doesn't mind … it will give Ben space to roam in peace."

Jude nodded he was expecting his officers to check in lunch time and realising the time said. "Tyus, Antonio you both staying for the food and update."

Antonio hesitated because he really wanted too and said. "I should get back see if we can still keep up the pretence of Ben being around as well as help out with the fall out."

"We'll check with the Duty Officer on the way out he's got the direct line in." Jude suggested.

Tyus looked towards Bob as he answered. "A quick bite then I'm holding a patient's hand … she's ducked out of having this surgery twice all ready and I'm not letting her do it again."

He saw Bob's smile and slight nod and knew his gentle threat was recognised so turned his attention to Helen. "I'm putting Ben in yours and Tim's care but contact me at the hospital if needs be it's a quickie op and the family will take over love and care as soon as it's done. I've got other appointments but they can all be interrupted just say your name and you need to speak to me and you'll be put through."

Seeing there was more Helen smiled and nodded, Tyus turned serious as he added. "To put this all on a proper footing I should explain that once we found out your surnames Jude and I looked up you and your husband's qualifications. I was very impressed and I like the way you've reacted to all this so I'm now officially asking you both to join the hospital. Tim can start as a locum and we can thrash everything out over the next couple of days."

Helen felt flattered and happy, knew Betsy would be a right pain in the ass to try and move away now and as the town was bigger than home and richer there would be better prospects and answered. "I can't find fault with that but we will need living accommodation and rooms to work from."

Tyus smiled and nodded. "Dr Estrada will not be happy at my actions but she'll not kick any of my patients out of Cedar Oaks just yet or bar them in the future because she'd be out of a job. I have a room at the hospital you both can work from, but for now Ben will be our top priority so you'll get a fee from him. I believe there might be accommodation at the garden centre, if not something can be arranged in town and if no one is using it there's Liberty Corp.'s private suite at the main hotel."

Jude cut in knowing what it could be like when two doctors got going and there was a bit they'd left out. "Before we split up you should read the account of what happened last night and why Ben is with Meg at the garden centre. You can read it later Bob, briefly Ben wanted to meet Meg at the café her parents own, which is on the seafront, we believe, mixed up flashbacks or memories caused him to flee with Meg just as the meeting started. Though he doesn't remember what happened he's talked to Antonio on the phone this morning." and handed her statement which included the morning's telephone update.

Helen did a quick scan then looked up smiling, which she knew would surprise Ben's friends and said softly first to Jude. "Glad I didn't know this when I was talking to the Judge." She then included her brother in her gaze as she carried on. "He's amazing … talking **and** being driven in a car!"

Ignoring her brother's raised eyebrows she carried on her assessment. "It looks like he's coming back too quickly for him to understand it all. Yeah flashbacks or memories could be from the kidnapping but he knows Meg is safe as she with him. Benjy's not around so Ben's not sure he's okay; he was worried about Maria being able to cope with him so that could still be praying on his mind. We have to make sure he **knows** Benjy is safe and happy and as he's in see and remember mode bring the child to him might be the only option. Telling him might not be enough."

Jude answered. "Benjy's never spoken about Christmas Eve and Christmas Day … a bit like his uncle in that respect, bearing in mind what happened we don't how he'd react to Ben now. But he's happy with his guardians and new life so I can sound them out and see how they feel …

They were interrupted by a knock on the door and Patrick walking in and announcing. "Lunch is ready and getting warm or eaten by Betsy."

Helen and Bob laughed as Patrick added. "We've got a game plan, Sy's writing an article that will make the company comply or look really bad so they might even pay for reinstatement of the driveway after harvest. Charles would like Ben's confirmation about the house move if not possible then Meg's permission to go ahead will do … verbal with written confirmation as back up. We've found a firm who are interested in doing the move but of course can't do it right away so packing up the house will go ahead. As soon as he gets the authorisation Sy and Charles will fly down and meet John and then the bad guys."

Jude got up "Sounds good so let's eat and talk." and looking over at Tyus who had moved swiftly over to Bob asked. "You two okay?"

"Yup. Just need a bit of oil." Bob answered as he was starting to walk with the crutches. He'd started to get up and found he'd stiffened up hence Tyus' quick action and support in getting him up properly now he knew how to do it, it wouldn't happen again.

Seeing her brother was okay with Tyus beside him Helen walked with Antonio and said quietly. "I don't want to breach any confidentiality rules but I'd like some off the record insight into Maria, Ricardo, Casey and Meg."

Antonio smiled knowing she wouldn't push if he said no and he could trust her so started to check what she wanted to know as they walked.

As Jude locked the office door Patrick said quietly. "Come on give, is he ours to keep?"

Jude laughed realising word of the Judge's call had got around and said. "Firstly on a need to know basis yes he's ours ... your story first I know mine." and heard Patrick's huff.


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter 39 **

Watching the three men chatting over the group of plants nearby Meg sat on the planter shelf feeling amazingly happy and content knowing so much had changed for her since the morning and zoned out mulling things over.

The shelf moving as Jenny sat down besides her and her gentle greeting of "A penny for them even if they are not repeatable." brought Meg back to the present.

She gave a quiet laugh not wanting to disturb the men's discussion and said. "Thinking over the amazing lunch and knowing it will be as good tomorrow. I'm soo glad your mum taught the chef everything otherwise I'd have a long list for her to teach him quickly, **oh** those desserts as well!"

Jenny smiled nodded and gave a sigh keeping an eye on the men while looking at her friend and admitted. "You know for a while over lunch I think I knew how Ben's been feeling because when that baby cried nearby I looked round thinking my youngest needed feeding and she's at school now. It was as if all the years between never happened and we were just having one of our Sunday lunches together talking about plans for the future. I know you weren't there then but he was … and as for you two … well it was as if … I don't want to rude or make assumptions … but it was as if you two were a long standing couple. You both knew each other's moods clicked into each others ideas … you know a bit how mum and dad were acting.

Meg knew what she meant and had been surprised how close her rapport with Ben was and loved it and knew what she'd seen with the other couple and said mulling over things. "You and Rocky are the same … it just feels natural I suppose, a bit like dad when he used to bounce ideas off mum at the meal table at the farm ... no need to go over history because you knew it so you looked forward all the time.

I was amazed how much he knows and dug up … I mean his memories are certainly not complete by any stretch of the imagination and I think he's only been able recall thoughts like that since this morning. It's as though all his thoughts for the garden centre have come to the forefront which means he's had them all these years while he's concentrated on his other projects. I must admit I held my breath when you let slip about your daughter being at school he just seemed to accept it and moved on with his idea."

She gave a gentle sigh of warmth and happiness as she carried on. "I love the suggestion of having another Sunset Sister here, I must admit I daydreamed earlier about the idea certainly didn't mention it and he hardly knows the original one yet he thought of it. I agree we'd cater for a wide range of interests possibly some clothes but wouldn't compete with the boutique here assuming they want to stay. By the way the blouse and jeans are really comfortable thanks for thinking of them."

Jenny gave a chuckle knowing Meg really suited Ben and said. "Glad you liked them I sent the other blouses up to the chalet along with the shirts for Ben. It goes without saying you can chuck them back if he doesn't like them. Seeing his reaction as he came to the café area it's just as well the staff tables are well outside the building otherwise we would have been stuck. Can you imagine half the group inside and you two outside?"

She continued over Meg's chuckle. "It's nice to know it will be revamped and not pulled down and something without character put up. You know I think I'm going to have a hard time getting Dad to move now Ben's here." and couldn't help her sigh but smiled as she remembered the greeting her parents gave Ben added softly. "Did you notice how the staff relaxed once mum smothered Ben in that motherly hug? Didn't think she was going to let him go either …one squashed Ben..."

Meg smiled nodding remembering how Ben nearly disappearing in the hug and let Jenny carry on knowing it wasn't only her father who would find it hard leaving the centre. "Guess they realised the sale was between friends and their jobs will be safe." Knowing her emotions were near the surface Jenny got on to a different subject commenting. "Glad those photos came out all right and are in the book, you'll need a new one soon. Perhaps get a bigger one that can be kept in the chalet so he's got a choice of two." Then she teased happily knowing the one she'd sneaked in and was yet to be developed as it was in her own camera. "Mind you your expression when you saw just how many plants need to go in the garden was a classic."

Meg laughed with feeling, her muscles were just recovering from that morning and sighed hoping what she said would be true. "Yeah but at least the clearing work can wait till tomorrow or the next day. All those long names on that list turned into so many pretty plants." she gave a slight shrug of the shoulders and admitted. "Okay so the bulbs are a bit boring now but when they come up they will look lovely. You know it's just as well the workers are going to put in the bushes because don't think Ben and I could do them."

Jenny smiled with sympathy. "Yes they are doing them now and the colour coding for the plants should mean everything will be near the right area for planting so less carrying things around, which means it will be done in no time. I see you've come to terms with the bag then." She added with a slight nod in the direction of the men noting Ben's bag was again on his shoulder and had never left his side through out the meal.

Meg nodded and said softly with real feeling. "Oh yes don't mind it at all, apart from clothes, money and food he has a screwed up photo of me in a clear plastic bag in it." At Jenny's expression Meg smiled and carried on. "You can hardly tell it's a person let alone me but I know it's the one he had from the kidnapping in Seattle. And before you ask … no he didn't always know it was there or that I was that photo, just knew he had something precious to protect and it would see him all right … and he felt better when he touched it. It all came together for him late morning and it was amazing to see him grasp that connection, funny thing is since he's put that bit together he's been … I don't know … grounded, stable as he flits in and out of memory.

He doesn't know is why it's so screwed up or when it happened but he does know he was not angry at me or my family. Thinking about he must have done it so someone wouldn't find it and that troubles me … because he must have been scared that I **would** be in danger and he must **have **been in danger to do it. The only consolation I have is that he's safe now and has lived through whatever it was and is with me … I suppose you could say it brought him back here."

Jenny said quietly. "So, his love for you brought him home."

Meg gave a gentle sigh knowing her friend was not laughing at her because it was said with real understanding and feeling. "Yes and I still feel totally amazed and frightened by it, because it means I must be part of his instincts … like getting up when it's light and going to sleep when its dark, getting food when hungry and whether to turn left or right. I was thinking about it just now and in some ways it has set me free from all my reservations about loving him and yet in another way it's given me a hellava lot to live up to. I know he will not leave me, you could say he can't ... because he came back here for me. Though I'm not forgetting the pull Derek must have on him even though he's dead, he was after all in the womb with him and that must mean something.

When he left I realised I loved him deeply now … now I know I can't be without him and knowing that I will be with him regardless of the difficulties and it's because of our love and nothing else. No guilt or pity and the prospect of having to relive the memories of today sometime tonight or in the morning no longer frightens me because I'll have the photos and my own memories to give him and I know his are there just hidden and not gone for good."

She gave a delightful chuckle "You're right the album might get a bit heavy so we might have to get another one, leave the special triggers in the one in his bag." then she gave a heartfelt sigh knowing her fear and added. "But at least he's not blacked out like he did in our garden when he picked the roses and that long blink he gives is a good warning that he's not quite all there … if you know what I mean."

Jenny smiled and nodded thinking back over lunch and agreed. "Yes, I know what you mean … sort of between now and then whenever then was or one door closing on something and another one opening up a crack. You and dad managed to bring him back into the conversations which seemed to help him either get back to us or keep his mind open to us even if he couldn't remember what had just happened. I wondered if dad having his stroke gave him an insight what was going on and how to do it … his memories were a bit loopy at the beginning but he's fine now. So I guess Ben's not going any where fast then."

Meg laughed. "I don't think he'll get too far … if he wanders Jude's shadows will stop him."

Jenny smiled and knew she could bring the conversation round to her news and said. "Yes they will and they were good at gently helping people keep a distance when they spotted you two … not that they could really miss Ben. Talking about that, Jude and the family are on their way and they are the good guys apparently one's a doctor who knows Ben's problem so they will be staying and you'll be able to sleep tonight knowing someone can cover for you. Also we will be closing up the centre once the coach trip has come and gone if you see what I mean and that will give Ben a more interesting place to roam if he wants to."

"Thank you we'll make it up to you and your staff."

"Don't be daft having Ben back here has been the best medicine anyone could have given Dad he's been happy today and as we'll be having lunch with you two tomorrow he'll be even happier. He knows we have to go to my sister's, better accommodation and easier challenges and once things have calmed down we can visit each other so he won't be losing that friendship again. And as Ben said they will be sending each other plant orders so its great all round. Everything all right at the chalet?" she added knowing they'd not had private time together since the morning visit to lay the pond.

"Sort of" Meg couldn't help her smile as she tried to think of how to put it.

Jenny waited wondering then as the silent carried on nudged. "Go on he can't hear."

Meg eyed her and said. "Okay how about the quickest shower ever."

Jenny's eyes sparkled as she chuckled then said softly "Well there isn't room for two of you in it and that one would not be quick so I'm guessing he came out naked and a bit on the quick side."

Meg gave a gentle laugh at Jenny's thoughts and said. "Well he had a towel in his hand but that was all." She took a breath remembering the scene and then explained to Jenny's obvious delight. "We'd just finished up and were outside the dining area of the chalet when he said he needed a shower. Well I knew he'd been having difficulty going in there as the morning had worn on so wondered what would happen. He silently dropped the bag and cap at my feet and as he walked into the lounge area started to strip off leaving a trail of clothes. I guessed by his actions he didn't want me to follow him so I waited and heard the flush and then the water from the shower and knew he'd got there okay. I was just wondering if I could walk over to the chairs when he rushed out … I swear it was only a couple of minutes later."

She smiled took a breath remembering it and starting to feel the effects sighed and said. "At least he managed to get wet before he came out" and eyed her friend adding softly. "Just as well we're not over looked! … Anyway he got his clean things from the bag and got dressed so it was all right in the end. And then I cleaned up … but he can't use the trees can he?"

Totally understanding and trying to control her giggles Jenny said "It's all ready solved though you might use a hose pipe if he needs a shower." She smiled at Meg's expression and tried to explain without giggling because it was serious but the picture just wouldn't go away. "Jude passed the message on he might have trouble so the lads are putting a clear cover over the top of bedroom doors so the bed can come out further if needs be, and there will be a portable earth closet on the far side of the shed. It's out of view so will give some him privacy you'll have to remember when he's there and give him a huge umbrella in case it rains." As she finished she creased up laughing half expecting a swipe from Meg.

But Meg joined her, the picture in her mind was really too much.

oxoxo

At the sound of the hysterical giggles that showed no signs of calming the three men turned round towards them and Rocky smiled and exclaimed to Ben. "Do you think it's a good deal or would you prefer the other one **or** shall we just leave them on the shelf?"

Ben sighed thoughtfully understanding his friend but like the others no idea of what had set the women off and said seriously and loud enough for them to catch the idea they were being talked about. "Well I guess the last one is out of the question because they'll fall off in a minute, just hope they don't break. The first one would mean one of us would have two and the other none so that's unfair. And the one it leaves … well … we'd have to put a price on them and I don't think it would stick so I think we are stuck. If you see what I mean." and glanced towards Rocky for his thoughts and then back to the women.

Hearing their voices and trying to make sense as to what they were saying Meg and Jenny sobered up a bit and looked at the men just as Clive chipped in also very seriously. "I would have thought half of priceless was a bit difficult to decide anyway."

Still looking very serious Rocky and Ben started to walk towards the women, while Ben said. "True. So what? You'll watch our backs while we pick them up and hope the owners of the centre won't miss them."

Clive was now watching what was happening with a huge smile as he knew Jenny and Meg didn't have a clue as they couldn't see what he and the others could and nodded towards the back of them as a hint.

Catching on Meg and Jenny shifted round to see why they'd made such comments and saw the now redundant staggered signs they hadn't noticed before. One read in bright red letters "Two for the price of one" And other in bright blue "Half Price" that from where they were it looked as though they were for the shelves they were sat on. Jenny and Meg looked at each other and laughed and waited for the two men to approach; after all it would be easier to get down with their kind of help.

As Jenny was gently picked up and helped down by Rocky she said understanding the double meaning of a word used. "You know I don't think I'll ask dad which priceless he meant, he's way too wicked." and eyed her father with a smile, who shrugged innocently knowing he was not going to get into **that **one.

Meg watched Ben loving that fact his eyes sparkling with mischief and he too gently picked her up and helped her down and heard his soft. "He's right you know it would be difficult." Once she was standing beside him Ben adjusted his cap a little higher and shifted his bag back on his shoulder and added. "I need to garden to get my head sorted out."

She smiled at his words and had known the last bit was coming sometime soon and decided to pass on her news and said. "That's okay, Jude and the others will be here soon and you've got an outside loo round the far side of shed."

At his hesitation she knew he'd probably forgotten the incident and his awkwardness with buildings and added gently. "Don't worry about it we'll talk in the garden and you'll remember there."

Ben nodded knowing he trusted her and she was most probably right and started to walk towards the chalets.

As Jenny and the others followed them she reminded her father. "Your therapist will be waiting so I'll take you straight over and then collect some things from the chalet later." And spotting what was coming down the driveway added. "Rocky the coach has just arrived so they will need your expertise, well the driver will; otherwise everyone will try and take trees home with them like the other lot did. I'll see you two later with the promised tea; mum's already cooking the scones."

Meg and Ben nodded knowing that last bit was for them and as the group parted heard Clive huff. "Don't know who's the bossiest her, Peggy or this damn therapist. You do know I can push this thing myself don't you?"

Jenny smiled understanding her father completely and said. "Yes Dad but you'd wheel yourself in the wrong direction and she's not that bad."

"Okay then, you have the session as you like her so much and I'll collect whatever…." drifted into the distance as Ben and Meg walked away.

oxoxo

As the couple walked towards the chalets Ben put his arm round Meg shoulders knowing it felt right and said. "I know things have been a bit weird today."

Meg gave a gentle quiet laugh at his understatement sure he wouldn't mind and would carry on, which he did. "I keep feeling as though I'm in two places at once but knowing you're here with me keeps me steady and I want to thank you for waiting and staying with me."

"You know I love you even if I didn't understand it fully before." Meg said gently knowing they were talking about their whole relationship not just the two together now in their time bubble.

Ben gave a gentle chuckle as he carried on. "I know you needed time and I loved you even if I didn't know it or who, which sounds strange in itself. I don't ever want to leave you again but I can't promise you I will always remember you, can you stand that."

She knew he needed reassurance rather than covering it over with sweet words and said gently. "Yes and each time you forget I will be there with photos and memories to bring you home, and it's because I love you and no other reason you know that don't you?"

He stopped and looked at her and said gently, lovingly. "Deep down yes I do. And that's what I want to thank you for now, while I know, while I can."

She turned to him looking up at him and into his eyes as he looked at her, and knowing exactly what he was going to do … swept away the brief thought of 'was it wise' and didn't resist him. - She needed it, craved for it and felt the warmth of his hand against her skin.

The warmth of her skin as his hand brushed her cheek and the feeling it gave him didn't startled him any more. He knew it right down in his soul and although there were unclear worries in his tumbling mind he knew it would be all right and was the right thing to do. His mind, body and soul called out for it ... needed it.

It was a butterfly kiss, lips touching gently for a moment but tender all the same.

Meg felt the surge of happiness, of old familiar feelings cascade through her mind and body giving her strength and confirmation it was all all right. As they broke apart silently knowing that was enough she could see it had had the same affect on him and there was that special glint in his eyes and smile that made her feel he knew her completely, this was not a stranger seeking reassurance … this was her Ben kissing her.

Seeing her warm loving smile and with memories and feelings cascading all around him Ben smiled and said gently. "Thank you for finding the most perfect place for us when I needed it." Then with slightest of shivers running through him he sighed took her hand and started to walk toward the chalets then said. "I really must garden and sort things out."

Walking beside him Meg laughed feeling on top of the world, he hadn't collapsed nor did he look as though he would, though seeing the shiver meant she guessed memories of their kiss was going through him. And knew she too needed the garden so she too could sort herself out. Because at the moment serious Meg was trying to tell her not to assume things too quickly and other one who was feeling on top of the world just wanted to saviour the moment and that one was winning.

They had just settled into their stride and their comfortable silence when a child's cry of "**Wait for me!**" came from some way behind them.

Ben stopped and looked at Meg who also stopped and could feel that good mood was disappearing by what she saw and heard the child's cry came again this time though it was longer and more definite.

"**Ben! **… **Wait!** … **Stop!**" came in gasps and was nearer as the child was running harder than ever before.

Meg knew by the look on Ben's face she'd lost him and followed his movements round hoping she could react to anything that might happen. As she turned she saw a young girl running towards them as though her life depended upon it and knew she had to be Betsy.

When Jenny had said they were coming she'd hoped for a quiet greeting in the garden and knew they weren't going to get it and saw a group of adults trying to catch the child up and knew they weren't going to do that either.


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter 40 **

As Ben heard the first cry, he stopped and looked at Meg in his mind there was the whisper of recognition along with the familiar cracking of the dark curtain that would bring a cascade of new confusing memories. Instantly and instinctively knew he wouldn't black out or shut down because Meg would ground him and their kiss had confirmed their love for each other and there was a way forward for him now. And felt the whisper start to draw him away from what was around him.

Betsy's longer second call made Ben turn towards it knowing it was for him and he knew the voice and the new fragmented memories swept the other ones away. He was back in time at the farm where two people in so much silent pain came together and silently helped each other and the rest of the family to cope.

Standing there Ben could see Betsy running towards him one moment she was the silent pained child running towards him because she needed his silent reassuring hug. The next he saw the happy vibrant child of today hurtling towards him and deep down he knew she'd accepted her future with love and without guilt.

With the cold of the past around and in him he shivered as other fragmented memories tumbled and exploded in his mind. He felt a gentle warm hand touch his and knew Meg was beside him in the present day and would ground him so accepted what was going on around him. Along with the tumbling fragmented memories came the knowledge that Betsy's family would be close and there was something he needed to tell them though not what it was.

As instinct was gently pushing through the muddle to tell Ben he needed to garden to let things settle Betsy's breathless excited final cry of "**Ben!**" broke through and alerted his mind and body that the happy tornado was very close and needed catching and a cuddle.

Ben automatically pushed the confusion aside got ready to catch her as he had done before.

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As Ben hadn't responded to her touch Meg stepped away knowing things would have to take their own course and whatever that was distance might be a good thing for all concerned. Unconsciously she ran her fingers through her hair brushing it away from her face while hoping everything would really be all right and readied herself in case they weren't. And heard that inner voice remind her that their good luck as a couple never lasted and it wasn't about to change.

Watching the running child and Ben she saw the change in him and his bag slide down his arm landing just behind him out of the way and hoped he knew that Betsy was bigger and faster than Benjy had been. With that thought her mind flashed back to the time on beach when Ben had scooped a running laughing Benjy up in his arms for a hug. And felt her heart contract wondering if he would ever accept Ben again. Then she was back in the present and held her breath hoping this meeting wouldn't end in a tangled heap of arms, legs with tears and his shocked silence.

oxoxo

The happy tornado had accepted her Joe's quiet leaving and had tucked the memory away as she started her new life. It was after all what 'silent Joe's' did, the other one came and went each year till he left them for good. Her 'Joe' was newer, had spent special time with her and had only been once so would come again and he'd left a note for them. She'd seen them put the note away and when nothing happened carried on with other plans as that was what adults did. They'd left because her and she knew they would return home sometime and when they did she knew they would find Joe waiting with the rescue in hand. Finding the photo of Joe she'd felt their hope their excitement as they talked before and over lunch and she could feel her happiness rising and knew it could still be done.

Now as she ran she knew she had promised to be good as they'd got out their new trailer, and the detective named Jude got out of his car. She'd tried really hard to wait for them to sort themselves out, but her Uncle Bob had got stuck and Jude had gone to help and they had to wait to all go together … his orders and it sucked … orders always did. But then they'd spotted the familiar jumper and figure and the adults had stopped to look or talk she didn't know because she fidgety with excitement. With her mind screaming that she had to be with her Joe and not with this lot of slowcoaches all her pent-up emotions bubbled to the surface and exploded, promises disappeared and she slipped the hand that was holding hers and ran toward Joe.

As she got away from the group she called out "**Wait for me**" needing the couple to stop and blocked out the calls from her aunt and uncle to stop or walk. She knew without a shadow of a doubt everything would be all right. 'This was her Joe, who'd helped her realise she was not betraying her parents love by loving her aunt and uncle and had held her as she cried for the lost love and life.

She realised they might not know she wanted them to stop and called out in gasps as she was running "**Ben! **… **Wait!** … **Stop!**" and saw him turn towards her and knew he wouldn't leave her again … he was Ben not Joe … and everything would be all right.

Getting closer she called out with pure breathless joy. "**Ben**"

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As soon as they'd realised Betsy had gone off Tim and Helen called hoping she would stop but knew she wouldn't and also they'd better move try and catch her or get there just that little bit too late to actually stop things and started after her.

Helen, her thoughts racing on all the scenarios verbally grabbed Jenny with a firm but gentle "Jenny, follow me." as she passed her.

Jenny had been talking to her father and therapist nearby as the group arrived and got out the vehicles so nodded at Helen's call with a quick "Be good" to her father and joined the group. Her mind was already mapping out a plan of campaign reckoning she might have to take care of Betsy if 'things' happened. She'd had a quick word with Helen before she'd talked to Meg. Bob and Jude brought up the rear at their own pace knowing it was better to arrive ready to help than end in a tangled heap that had nearly happened as Bob had got out the trailer.

Unfortunately the rumpus Betsy started undid all the quiet policing which had enabled the couple to have lunch and check the plants nearly unnoticed earlier. Now the adults were moving and Betsy called again and was running people looked in the right direction. The locals already not in the know the couple were there, were alerted by Ben's name and recognising Meg quickly put two and two together and were certainly not going to miss this… whoever the child might be. The outsiders … well they just knew something interesting was going on so followed their lead and stopped to watch.

The plain clothed police officers moved in to stop anyone thinking of getting too close and quietly scanned the area just in case there was a suspicious blonde headed female with or without partner. As they mingled they quietly gently tried to persuade the people that a) silence was needed now and when they left … didn't the couple deserve some peace and b) nothing was going to happen so why not look at the plants they had come to look at and buy.

They got huffs and nods but no one moved - this was way too interesting – so they stopped and watched too.

oxoxo

As her goal got closer the happy tornado unconsciously eased her pace slightly and got ready to be caught. Knowing he would he always had and would not fail her now.

That was true because Ben expertly scooped the lightly built eight year old into a swinging embrace which stopped the momentum of her run and stayed upright … and stood solid.

As their bodies came together Betsy tucked her legs round Ben's waist; her arms went round his shoulders and neck, and held on feeling his arms around her to anchor her. Knowing she was safe she automatically leaned her head to one side and snuggled into his shoulder, letting out sobbing noises while her body shook as she took in gasps of air. With rushing emotions she knew she was in one of her favourite places and he was back and everything would be okay.

oxoxo

In the garden centre the onlookers relaxed, closer too hand Meg relaxed a bit, still feeling anxious knowing what shock could do to Ben … and this was a shock … but saw he looked solid so far. She had a flicker of a thought about picking up his bag up for him knowing he wouldn't be able to carry Betsy and bag ... but remembering how protective he could be about it left it and waited and watched the others catch up.

Watching them she couldn't help a slight smile realising she would not be on her own anymore and knew why Ben had taken to the child. She looked a vibrant happy child as she ran with her long wavy brown hair showing off its many natural shades of colour in the sunlight. If she'd been sad and silent then Ben would have gone straight into protective mode whether he realised it or not and that was why he'd stayed with them and why he'd been silent if she'd been hurt and came out her thoughts and gave a nod of acknowledgement as they joined them.

oxoxo

Not sure whether the trembling child in his arms was crying or just puffed out Ben reassured her gently. "Its okay Betsy, its okay." and stood still gradually realising he was in the garden centre and not on the farm and time had passed and a group of adults were joining them.

Hearing his gentle voice for the first time broke through Betsy happiness and concentrated her thoughts. Knowing he would not drop her she wriggled a bit as she lifted her head from his shoulder and relaxed her hold around his neck and shoulders. Still keeping her legs locked round his waist she eased back a bit and felt his supporting arms give with her but still hold her and knew he understood she didn't want to be put down just yet. She then pushed the top part of her body away from his so she could see his face properly and then raised her hand and gently tipped his cap back a bit and saw the differences between her silent Ben and the one who held her now.

She saw the brightness of his eyes and a smile and knew he was not cross with her and he was okay … whole. And back smiled as the warmth and knowledge swept through her and then said with the brightness and seriousness of the child she was. "Your voice is nice, and you can save our home..."

Hearing Betsy's words Helen gasped out quickly "Betsy no sweetheart." knowing that the memory of it had to come from Ben and without their pushing if things were to happen.

Hearing her voice Betsy looked at Helen feeling that rush she'd done it again and then realised she wasn't looking too cross and whispered to her "Sorry" and collapsed into that comfortable shoulder again feeling Ben's arms tighten around her and his body move as she heard his soft reassuring "Its okay Betsy … its okay."


	41. Chapter 41

**Chapter 41**

Ben turned towards Helen's voice recognising her and Tim and more memories tumbled into place and he was suddenly back at the farm hoping he would find them. He had remembered things and needed them to contact Charles and Meg … but he had not found them ... till now. A shiver ran through him and he knew time had past and Meg was safely beside him in the garden centre and he was holding Betsy and it was all right.

He saw and recognised Bob catching up and said remembering two more fragments. "You were injured that's why they were late. Thank you for saving me."

Bob smiled and said "Glad I was there." And not wanting to push too hard but felt he had to give the man the opening asked. "Do you want to talk about it now?"

"No." Ben said as smaller shiver ran through him and the memory disappeared and was replaced by knowledge seeing Jude join them. … He knew the man was a policeman as well as a business partner and was helping them and suddenly needed to know so asked. "Benjy … Antonio safe?"

Not stopping to think why Ben should ask that now or he should question the man Jude answered. "I've checked Benjy he is safe with his new family Tess's sister and husband. Antonio has been with me and is now back at the Mission, everyone is safe Ben."

Helen like Meg was watching Ben but more in anticipation than trepidation and knew something big had just clicked in.

Ben didn't know why he should be worried but he was satisfied with Jude's answer and nodded feeling thing shift again and other memories slip into place and he looked back to Helen. He was back on the farm but he knew he was holding Betsy so things were different time had passed and yet it felt as though it had just happened and he needed to tell her now so he did.

When Ben spoke his voice had that flat slightly dazed quality about it that told Helen and everyone else except Jude, who was taking his lead from the others, that he wasn't with them and they needed to let him talk and not ask questions. By his first words Helen and her family knew he was back on the farm on the day he left them.

"As I worked I went over the things that had happened with Betsy the day before and other strange memories suddenly started to mingle with them but none of them made sense. After lunch I found I could not work anymore, things were churning around too much and my head ached badly so I sat by the pond the watched the birds. I don't know how long for but some of the fragments in my mind made sense and I gradually realised that although the farm was past saving I had money that could save the home. Give you and your family a future away from the crops that would surround the house in the future. I knew I needed to find you or Bert in town so they could contact Charles and Meg get them to come here to the farm without anyone knowing. I don't know why that was important only knew it wasn't safe for me to return home or let people to know I was around ... alive.

I knew my memory was iffy, had dirty great big holes in it and I couldn't see anyone around to tell nor could I remember where they were only that you were in town. I went to the kitchen porch even though everything in my body told me to keep away from the building and found a pen and paper on the table. I didn't like writing … again don't know why."

Ben paused and sighed as things suddenly shifted and when he carried on his voice was normal and casual. "Possibly a childhood thing with Derek, though he wasn't that bad and I did pay him back with wrong answers to the questions so things always evened out…" and shivered slightly and gave a long blink before carrying on again.

Hearing the change in Ben's tone Helen silently remembered Antonio's remark about there being two Bens and thought one had just come out and tried to answer the other's question, and tried not to break her concentration as she took stock of the situation especially as Ben was talking in the flat tone that told them he was back at the farm again.

"I eventually managed to write a few words hoping you would understand or it would jog my memory if I forgot them by the time I found you. Seeing the jumpers hanging up I knew if I got lost when I went find you I would be found and brought back to the farm so I put one on. I borrowed Bob's cap as the light hurt my eyes and the headache had not gone … I wasn't going to go in and hunt for pills in the kitchen because I had to get out of the building before it crashed in on me. As I rushed out I knew I had my bag with me so I had food and extra clothing and money if things went wrong.

I started off down the drive hoping you'd be there but you weren't … I got to the top and was looking up and down the road when there was a gunshot behind me then another and then they seemed to be never ending and all around me along with birds calling and flying it scared and confused me. …I … I had no where to run too. I..." He was gasping with fear which had also been in his voice and he'd tightened his hold on Betsy and was about to run in pure terror as he had then but stopped at her voice.

"**Ben!** Its okay you're safe. **Ben**, its Helen I'm here! You are just telling us what happened nothing else." Helen said firmly and fairly loudly seeing his distress and hoping her voice would bring him out of it before he collapsed or dropped Betsy who luckily had not moved in his arms.

Ben shivered violently and took a deep breath as Helen's voice brought him out of that vivid memory and as his fear settled he relaxed his hold on the child in his arms so he held her safely but comfortably.

Betsy feeling the change moved her head away from his shoulder and said gently quietly. "Its okay." and then rested her head back on his shoulder again knowing she was safe … always had been he'd never harm her.

Her words grounded him and he nodded and took another breath knowing exactly where he was and who was with him and slipped back into telling the memory not living it saying. "I woke curled up under a bush not knowing where or who I was or what had happened. It was grey going to dark and I was cold. I was clutching a bag to my chest as I lay there so I sat up and opened it and found a coat which I wrapped around me then hoping things would be all right I curled up around the bag and slept. The only thing I did know was I couldn't lose the bag it was precious to me and would guide me and tell me things.

I woke as darkness left the sky and I still couldn't remember anything I was hungry and thirsty so I turned to the bag knowing it would help me and found a box with writing on it and food inside as well as some small envelopes with messages on them, a water bottle and clothes which I left alone. I understood the words but not how they got there and nothing came to mind to tell me. So I ate some of the food and got up and looked around as I …"

He paused while hunting for the polite words and then said embarrassed "made myself comfortable nearby. I didn't recognise anything it was just a road with hedges each side and fields all around so I went back to my bush and sat down and went through my bag knowing it would tell me something or help me and it did. … I found a polythene bag with flattened a screwed up piece of paper sealed in it. … I didn't know it but when I touched it … held it … looked at it … I felt better … stronger … safer and knew I would find the answer. But nothing actually came to me only the feeling I had to move on to find out what it was … I had to do it now.

I packed the bag knowing I didn't need the coat till night time and put the cap on to shield my eyes and started walking along the road. After awhile I felt uneasy so I stopped sat down and opened the bag took out the polythene bag and smoothed it out and held it. I don't what I thought but after awhile I looked around again and knew I'd been walking in the wrong direction to find my answer. So I put it back in my bag and retraced my steps passing the bush I'd slept under. When I came to a junction with other roads and I wasn't sure which way to go the signposts made no sense to me, I found out I didn't have to unpack my bag I just had to think of how safe the other one made me feel and then I knew which way to go. The occasional car passed me but I paid no attention to them but then a truck passed and pulled up and a man got out and asked me if I was okay. I found could not speak to tell him I didn't know so I hunted in my jumper for something to write with and found a card in the pocket and gave it to him hoping it would explain things as it had writing on it. He read it and handed it back and told me to hop in the back and took me to a farm and I found out I didn't like buildings."

Ben shook his head as memories disappeared completely and looked at Helen and said in his normal voice slightly puzzled. "It's gone I guess it will come back whatever it was." Then he remembered and said. "Betsy said I could save the house is that possible? I know the farm was lost before I arrived and I know time has passed so it might be too late."

Helen smiled realising one section in his mind had closed down and another one opened and nodded knowing she needed to keep silent and if she was honest this was far better than she could have hoped for..… She'd expected a silent traveller with the odd word or sentence and a need for prompting but he was jumping in and out of fragmented memories giving them what they wanted …well some of it … and he was steady in spite of the shivers and relived fear. One thing she was sure she was going to have to do was to make sure he didn't over do it, but trouble was by just being here they might make him do just that. At least Meg seemed to be coping with it and that was a good thing.

Coming to terms with what was happening Jude spoke up knowing he had to take things from here and hoped Ben was ready for this. "Ben it might be possible but I need you to talk to Charles on the phone he's read the note you wrote and has got a plan but he needs to know that it's what you want to happen as it's your money that's going to finance it."

Ben smiled remembering the note again and stayed with them in the present this time and said. "Yes, that's okay it's a gift not a loan. I guess I forgot to take the note with me perhaps that was just a well I might have lost it. Strange I knew the house could be moved either brick by brick or shored up and trucked out possibly to the brother's wreck so it stayed in the area. I also knew I could afford to allow the brothers to have enough to do what they wanted and how to make them agree. But why then and why not everything else … could have been like today things coming and going but not joined up or staying. Haven't a clue.

Jude smiled and nodded, not surprised at Ben's confusion he was feeling confused and amazed at the turn of events and dialled then spoke into the phone and talked to Charles.

Ben knew he needed a free hand and ear and said quietly. "Betsy you've eaten way too many cream buns since I left for you to stay up here any longer."

She laughed and gently released her hold then slid down his body till she stood beside him but didn't let go of his hand, she was not going to lose him again and smiled at Meg who'd come closer and hoped she would not tell her off.

Meg smiled at Ben's words and seeing Betsy fears moved to the other side of Ben, she wasn't going to shoo her off she'd just come closer in case she was needed with Charles' call. As she'd listened to Ben's story, her mind buzzed with questions and fears … she had no idea how long they'd known and it all sounded frightening and the only reassurance she could give herself was that he was here safe and had been hopping back and forth with memories all day he should be all right. And best of all he seemed as happy to see these people as they were to see him.

Jude handed the phone over and then like the others watched silently.

Ben looked at the phone and took a breath remembering his friend on the other end and said quietly into it "Hi Charles." As he listened to the short friendly greeting and a brief outline of the plan he felt the strength of their friendship and managed to find his voice and say at the end. "That sounds fine. Go ahead as soon as possible and Meg will sign the paper Jude's waving at her. Meg will be my main support and next of kin but I hope you'll still look after things for me and thanks for everything." After Charles confirmed he would and wished him well Ben closed the call and gave the phone back to Jude with a nod of thanks.

Meg quickly read the paper through and signed it amazed at what was on it and Ben's words. Jude then tucked it in an envelope and gave it to another officer knowing it would be taken back to the office and Charles would be on his way.

They all watched as Ben shivered violently then turned slightly and picked up his bag and hitched it over his shoulder then he held out his free hand to Meg and said "Garden." as though she and Betsy who was still attached to the other hand were the only ones around and nothing else had happened.

Meg took his hand and nodded knowing that tone of voice; she glanced at the others and explained as they started walk with Betsy starting to skip beside Ben. "We've got some plants to be put in around a pond and borders it will help settle his memories I doubt he'll talk for a while or remembers what's happened."

Helen nodded, realising Ben had been in and out of memories for longer than she thought and as they followed she said with a smile. "Oh boy. He's good."

Bob could not resist chipping in with a very quiet tease knowing how certain things could have turned out. "Just as well you know about the bag and the screw up photo or he'd be in the loony bin in five seconds flat."

Helen chuckled knowing Ben and Meg were too far ahead to hear and said. "True she would have but we know better and it looks as though he realised you took him south so he needed to go north to find his answers. Of course if he hadn't he might have walked past our farm and we would have found him. Now he's recreating things at the farm ... so he must have felt safe there and needs that environment to keep his promise to you Bob. Which means he feels really safe with Meg as she's the one grounding … and now we've just got to make sure things don't boil over … get the memories to come back gently… evenly so they stay."

Wondering if that was a bit much to expect considering what he'd just witnessed Jude said. "He's still worried about the others though ... I mean their names came out the blue and as soon as he saw me … and he was talking to me as a police officer he trusts not a new partner in business, which is strange … I mean we don't know each other."

Helen nodded understanding his confusion. "I assume Meg's told him you are a police officer which means unconsciously he's able to pull recent memories together so he knows you are the one to ask… to trust. Thinking about Antonio and Benjy that could be a throw back … a fleeting thought caught as he popped in and out memory … he doesn't necessarily know things around them yet … just certain things feel important so out they pop out. Don't forget those two aren't here and Meg is so he knows she's okay. Hopefully reassuring him will be enough and you did it well you gave him enough to satisfy him and an opening for him to comeback with a question if he wanted to.

It looks as though he's going to do some gardening, which hopefully will settle his mind, then he might be ready to explain things to you Bob and you need to be around Jude so I think you two can get your job done first. We can ring you if needs be." she then turned to Jenny and knowing their earlier words added. "At some point I'll need you to look after Betsy, she knows Ben was attacked but I don't want her around if he relives it, he could collapse and she doesn't need to see that also he'd feel guilty about afterwards."

Jenny nodded and explained her plan. "That's fine, there's about an hour and half to two hours planting if some of you muck in with them otherwise they can do it all as therapy. I was coming back about mid afternoon with scones and bits and pieces as a way to make them rest so I can take her then. She can meet Sandra my daughter she's eight and a half and a bundle of energy so we can do a tea and sleepover and if you'll let her she can go on a school trip tomorrow."

Seeing Helen's smile and nod she carried on explaining. "Sandra's mate isn't back yet so there's a place going vacant they are a chummy crowd. The school started a week earlier than usual because it was closed for a while last term, the kids are having catch up classes and treats they missed."

Walking into the chalet garden Jenny said quietly as the others looked around sizing things up. "You wouldn't believe this was an overgrown mess yesterday. There's still more to do but he started at the crack of dawn and Meg pitched in, they used a dip in the ground to help out with pond which my lads lined and it was filed over lunch time while they put the bushes in for the couple. The plants are coloured and near to where they've got to go all so it's fairly easy. It's all Ben's and Meg's ideas … he's a very good landscape gardener given his head."

The group nodded as they walked on slowly taking it all in as well as watching what the three were going to do before they finally decided what they would do.

oxoxo

The three split with Ben walking towards the pond as Betsy ran round the garden looking at everything as she passed till she stopped by one of the clusters of plants and grabbed a trowel and looked across at Ben and called out. "Show me where and which colour." it all looked like fun especially with him around.

Ben looked over at her call and nodded then pointed next to him and she came running and they started to sort out the cluster of plants that would go round part of the pond everything and everyone else forgotten.

Helen went over to Meg who'd been watching and noted she'd been left guarding the bag and jumper, which she felt was a huge step forward for Ben and said gently, "We need to talk. Did you know why the bag was so important to him before just now?"

Meg smiled and picked up the bag and jumper knowing she could as he'd asked her in simple sign language to guard it and led Helen over to the chairs nearby. She put the jumper and bag down beside the chair so he could see them and get to them easily should he want to and stood watching Ben and Betsy as she answered Helen's question. "Yes my photo's polythene bag, though he doesn't know why he screwed it up … just that he wasn't angry with me. He's got a similar one to the original in his album in his bag, he got me to pose for it this morning and that's how he put the two together." The she looked at Helen and asked. "How long have you known Ben?"

Helen kept her gaze and moved her chair a little so she'd be able to talk and watch all three and said gently knowing Meg needed to know her plan before she shocked her with the truth. "Sit down Meg and I'll tell you all I know. Then I'd like you to tell everything that's happened last night and today and I mean everything … including your feelings about this and Ben. As I got out the trailer I spotted both of you and saw the kiss."

Meg smiled remembering that kiss and sat downing thinking things couldn't be too bad Helen didn't seemed shocked.

Knowing he wasn't needed here Tim left his medical bag on the table and went to join Ben and Betsy with the planting it would be quieter there and he'd be on hand should something happen.

Jenny heard Meg's shocked gasp of disbelief as Helen started to explain and felt shock ripple through her as well and went to make some tea hoping she would be asked to stay for awhile so hear the full story about her friend.

Back on the path Bob watched his niece and Ben work silently but happily together and said quietly. "He looks good, Tim's close so I think we can go and visit the place I found him. You okay?" he added looking at Jude.

Jude gave a slight smile and admitted. "It's finally hitting me how terrifying it must have been for him, and I'm finding it all rather creepy as he slips between past and present. Not to mention confusing. I'm seeing a Ben I don't know and trying not to see Derek who played Ben…. So I guess it would be better if we left … I might come to terms with it all ... okay some of it then."

Bob smiled and nodded. "Don't worry it will get better as he gets steadier. Just remember he is safe here and Derek is not around to impersonate him." Then looking at Helen and raising his voice loud enough for her to hear added. "Sis we're going."

She nodded and answered. "Okay, we'll ring if we need you then Jude can 'blue light' all the way back."

Jude smiled and nodded leading the way said. "Well I guess we'll take my car if you can manage the seats after all we can't 'blue light' the trailer even if it is the new model."

Bob gave a gentle laugh remembering the tangle he'd got in getting out of the trailer and followed him.


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter 42

As I'm touching on laws and police work so I'll say the obvious this is fiction. Hope you enjoy.

oxoxo

**Chapter 42**

Preparing for the bustle of the Police Station and the fact he'd have to own up to Jude about what he'd done Ricardo pushed the doors open walked in and stopped. The contrast from the morning was startling it was empty and quiet; he'd expected at least a few people to be milling around considering what had been happening.

The Desk Sergeant looked up from his book at the disturbance and asked with a smile. "Anything left at the supermarket?"

Ricardo returned the banter with feeling. "Just a tin of beans on the top shelf out of reach. Hell! Cathy's only little and Gabi says we have to go again next week!" he turned serious as he started to walk towards the corridor to the offices which dealt with Ben's case asking "So where is everyone?"

The Desk Sergeant chuckled knowing the shock of shopping having two kids of his own and decided to leave Ricardo in suspense by starting with the less interesting news. "The press got bored after the statement from the Chief so moved on. The DA, murder suspect with lawyer and half the force are over at the courthouse finding out about bail etc, the other half is…"

The short sharp barked "**Ah! No more!**" stopped them both in their tracks, verbally and physically.

Patrick came into view and carried on walking to the counter then put the papers he'd been holding on the counter and looked at Ricardo and said sharply. "Ricardo, you've got to sign these or go home now and don't come back."

The Desk Sergeant winced at the tone and wondered who'd stepped on his toes as he bent down and brought a package from under the counter. Silently he slit the top open then put it on the counter and waited knowing Ricardo would sign the papers he'd be a fool not too and he was not a fool... stubborn yes…

Ricardo looked at Patrick's steady gaze totally confused and half worried that Maria might have complained hence the threat and asked defensively. "Where's Jude?" remembering the man's promise.

Still very serious Patrick answered. "Not till you've signed **and** not here."

Really worried Ricardo looked at the form, read it and starting to smile as he signed and commented just to be sure. "It says I started this morning I thought this was for the future."

Patrick took the black sleeveless CSI jacket out of the cover and gave it to Ricardo in exchange for the form saying. "We needed it formalized so that anything you've done or do today is covered. Try it on and remember you wear it all the time out in the field. The gold letters on the back shows everyone who you are, there's a box of tricks in the office along with your official ID cards. You've a course for the things you might not know, coming up after this case … we can go through that later.

As he helped Ricardo with the jacket he continued in a lighter tone. "Everyone's okay I'll bring you up to date in a moment. I'm your guardian angel till one of the officers come back from the courthouse. Till then, if called out I can arrest people and you can close an area down and work it if needs be" and added with a slight smile. "So the perfect team … especially as you can direct me as I don't know the area."

Ricardo smiled starting to relax and shrugged the CSI jacket into a comfortable position over his ordinary jacket and caught the Desk Sergeant's friendly mock salute which came down smartly as Patrick looked at the man saying sternly. "Detective Jude Cavendish told you **not **to say anything about what is going on and that means** both **cases and to **everyone**. No matter what rank or who they are **understood**."

Suitably chastised the Desk Sergeant nodded and went back to manning a very quiet desk and guarding the passageway.

Sensing the change of mood Ricardo followed Patrick knowing better than to ask though his curiosity was high to say the least.

As they turned down the corridor Patrick took a deep breath and slowed to walk beside Ricardo and carried on as though the reprimand hadn't happened. "You can't carry firearms till you've been on a renewal course that's got to be arranged. Now and after you've got your certificate you will let an officer go into a scene first especially if it's not been cleared already, you are a secondary officer. I know it will be difficult for you as you are trained to go in and protect but you've got to get used to it."

Ricardo nodded accepting his new status and it would be hard to keep to.

Patrick couldn't help a slight smile knowing this would stir things up. "Oh Yeah two more things, one you've got to be cleared by the official shrink before you go on another job. And two I'm your official confessor till Jude comes back. He's explained everything and told me to follow your instincts if he's not available but also to tell you to watch your step if needs be."

Ricardo nodded, knowing Jude knew and trusted Patrick but groaned saying "Not that damn doctor again!" remembering his long tedious sessions that led absolutely nowhere as far as he was concerned.

Patrick managed not to chuckle as he opened the door to their office and blocked the view of the white board and said. "No. The shrink is Dr. Helen Weatherfield associated with Dr. Tyus Robinson's practice as you have a few issues with the other one."

Ricardo stopped and looked at him doing a double take, brain working overtime and exclaimed. "**Hell! **things changed fast …. **So** they are the good guys and we know a lot more about Ben but why the tense mood and clamp down then."

Patrick sighed moved aside and closed the door and let him read the revised white board hoping he would understand.

Ricardo swore in Spanish, which showed how shocked he was as he read it then turned to Patrick and asked softly hoping he was wrong in his assumptions. "He's been like this all the time because the Jailer followed him and left him for dead. So all the emails were crap and the blonde's his partner and we are looking for a working cell not a single person."

Patrick nodded and added slowly. "Not sure about followed more like came across him as they both went south and he or they took advantage of the situation." He was realising why Jude wanted and trusted Ricardo despite his history. The only new information added on the board was Bob's date, time, place and the words 'attacked and no memory' the rest had been left off.

Ricardo didn't like any of the implications racing round his mind and asked. "Paul around?" knowing it would lead to more information as to what was happening now.

Feeling easier about having Ricardo help run things while Jude was out Patrick nodded and carried on the briefing. "He's chasing up the fireworks and running the ATM photo through the system, which will take time as the computer has been used by the other officers for awhile. After that's been done a sketch will be put through your programme to make it into a photo so it can be compared with the other ids and then possibly put through the system. Hopefully it's the jailer, Helen got it from Ben's ramblings at night, to understand it all you've got to read that lot and then we'll exchange ideas."

Ricardo nodded seeing the pile and let Patrick finish. "We're keeping a couple of people round the Mission as a cover and added more in the Garden Centre to stop anyone getting too close to Ben and Meg. The Centre will be closed after tonight. Jude's staying with the family as they meet Ben and Meg that should be happening now. Depending on the result of that he will ring in any news and also go with Bob to where he found Ben."

At Ricardo's look Patrick smiled. "Yeah. We know there won't be evidence along the beach as to what happened that will come from Ben eventually … hopefully. But it will help size things up … get a feel of it after all we now know a crime was committed on the 26th so things have changed." He added in a gentler tone as he sat down leaving Ricardo the chair behind the desk. "Now, you tell me as your father confessor what's eating you."

Ricardo snorted and sat down and looked at Patrick then sighed and asked. "Off the record?"

Patrick smiled and nodded and offered a line. "It's okay your not obvious, don't forget I'm a trained people watcher. I'm guessing it's about your sister and her husband."

Ricardo shook his head amazed he should be read so easily, Patrick knowing he meant 'yes' and not 'no' waited.

After getting his thoughts together Ricardo asked casually. "When did Jude employ a crystal ball gazer?"

Patrick smiled and knew he had to tell the truth as Ricardo all ready suspected how he knew. "Jude explained your sister's orders and your reservations about Rodney, also Gabi rang to check you were okay said you might have seen Maria about something you saw this morning and it could have got ugly."

Ricardo snorted understanding her fears and said. "Okay so no details given?"

Patrick smiled then turned serious and said. "Nope no details, just what I told you and I didn't push her for details I sensed that would not be fair."

Ricardo nodded and said. "Okay, well I guess you know my history so bearing that in mind what would you do if you saw your sister's husband in the car park in a more than friendly embrace. Okay it wasn't down a 'your throat kiss' but then again it wasn't a peck you'd give your sister either. And it wasn't Maria that's for sure. The woman was good looking, dark haired, possible age group say 25 to 35 to be safe.

Patrick could see the dilemma and asked gently ready or any reaction. "What made you so angry … your brother doing 'it' with your fiancé while trapped in a collapsed building or not being told and finding it out sometime later from a video tape that others had seen?"

The questions surprised Ricardo but he didn't hesitate with the answer. "The way everyone hid it, didn't trust me to understand. Hell … even my mother watched it and twisted it to her own use behind my back.

Yes I would have been very very angry and hurt probably wanted to tan his or their hides. But after I'd calmed down I would have understood that the circumstances were more than half the problem. … I always knew Gabi and Antonio were close, sort of brother and sister friendship. The last time we went through a life threatening ordeal we were together so had each other's strengths to draw on and got off the upside down sinking ship alive. … This time they didn't know if I or anyone else was alive to help them and crossed 'that line' in fear and desperation and want of comfort. That video contributed to my stroke and Gabi married me because she wanted too not out of guilt and deep down I know and trust Antonio."

He took a deep breath and shook off the memories and got to the point he knew Patrick wanted. "In the car park today I knew the worse thing I could do was to walk away and do nothing. Rumours could have started as it was in plain sight, people who might recognise him could have been around and no matter what people say rumours can hurt and they never really go away even if they are proved wrong. Given her recent past Maria needed the truth so she could face the situation in private and the two of them together not one hiding from the other. That was why I went to see them not just her or him but them."

Patrick said in awe looking Ricardo over for hidden injuries. "So they didn't shot or beat up the messenger then."

Ricardo laughed and thought back to the encounter and said. "No in fact she knew about it … well the meeting … but all the same I thought I saw something flash across Rodney's face when we were talking so I believe something's going on with him just no idea what."

Patrick was really curious and knew retelling might help clear the air said. "Okay start at the beginning so I can get the feel of it."

Ricardo nodded. "Gabi, Cathy and I were just loading up the car having emptied the supermarket. It's on the edge of a mixed group of buildings and the car park is an L shape going in front of the block of buildings and down the side next to the supermarket.

We were on the corner of the L so could look down and across. It was busy I just checked out the other vehicles moving around as Gabi put Cathy in and glance across along the front of the other buildings and saw Rodney leaning against his car looking towards the buildings. I waited expecting Maria to come out the bank or where ever and thought of going over to greet them. Instead this other woman came out of the bank and they both smiled at each other then went into this very close hug and kiss then they talked fairly excitedly before getting in the car and he drove off.

I suppose it took a couple of minutes if that. In all honestly all you needed was the shriek of delight from her as they met and the whole car park would have stopped to watch. Instead the people gave a quick glance before going on possibly thinking that they might have won something or whatever. They were about the same height so she's a little taller than Maria as I said dark hair … long with a fringe and she wore dark rimmed glasses, oh yes the clothes made you look at them then her and react accordingly.

Gabi told me to leave it but I couldn't and if I had a camera I would have taken a photo and not involved anyone else. But I didn't and I knew where the CTV screens were and who might be manning them. I don't want him to get in to trouble and I told him I would be handing the photo over to Jude and explained I thought the couple were engaged in fraud and needed his silence as well. He also told me the man drove the woman but stayed at the car when she went into the bank."

Ricardo paused then realising Patrick wouldn't know where it was and added. "It's a small branch, the main one is in the centre of town. I wondered if they chose that one so he would not be recognised by Carmen if she just happened to be in the area or the manager he would have seen Maria when she sorted Ben's business out and I don't know if Rodney went with her or not. I needed the photo as I knew Maria would need hard facts not just my say so if it came to a confrontation."

He got the picture of the couple out and put it on the table then carried on noticing Patrick's raised eyebrows knowing he'd thought the same thing as he had when he saw the woman and said. "Yeah I know all it needed was a street corner or a red light in a window. Perhaps she's just 'a loud dresser' anyway they don't know I have it … I didn't need to mention it, and yes I was going to talk to Jude regardless, but that's ahead of myself.

Gabi and I went home unpacked everything and had lunch; Cathy was hungry and needed the new diapers we bought her. I then left to come here but went round and knocked on the door … Rodney answered and I explained calmly and politely I didn't want trouble but had seen him in the car park this morning could we talk.

He nodded and asked me in and as I moved into the passageway into the lounge I saw that Maria had been just out of my view. As you can guess I was waiting for the explosion of why, where and what instead she smiled and asked me what I thought of Lindy, Rodney's cousin."

Ricardo smiled at Patrick's surprised look. "Yes, it took the wind out my sails a bit and I made sure I kept the photo in my pocket. Maria carried on explaining that Lindy had recently lost her husband and she and Maria were going into business. The windfall from Ben's investment meant they could do it now instead of later as they had thought. But it meant they had to move quickly so Lindy flew down this morning for opening the account and the signing of papers here rather than in Seattle so they would have to do the yoyo act back and forth.

Apparently Lindy would handle that side of the business along with the other paper work so she had to dot the I's and cross the t's back in Seattle before the deadline which is tomorrow morning. As this is her first big adventure since her husband's death Rodney was being her moral support and taxi driver to and from the airport while Maria had other things to do and was not feeling too good."

Patrick asked. "So your sister was okay with everything, there was nothing forced in the situation and your vibes are just from that flicker from Rodney, which says what to you."

Ricardo paused and thought then carried on. "Yeah that's right and Rodney explained about the kiss and Maria laughed and said it was typical Lindy way over the top. But it was also understandable after there was a lot at stake a no from the bank manager regarding the account etc and the whole lot would have gone down the drain and Lindy's confidence would have been shattered. She showed me her design sketches for the studio and the type of things they want to exhibit. Lindy would be based there while Maria did her arty thing and find things and be in and out. I'm sure Maria didn't know anything about Rodney's unease otherwise she would not have come out with it like that in the first place. Once she started he ran with the flow."

He sighed, talking about it in the office made him think about it a bit calmer and admitted. "Don't know I might be reading more into it but Ben flickered when we … when I harassed him about Maria. Over the years it was there for just a second … never truly went away and I thought he was hiding that he'd killed her but of course we know differently now. He was in fact protecting her name and my family and himself as he couldn't prove it. Anyway that's why I recognised that slight flicker and there is something about Rodney that just gets me."

Patrick smiled liking the man for his honesty and said sincerely. "Go on it's not going beyond me or Jude unless it really has to."

Ricardo nodded. "I don't know whether it's just that gut feeling a cop gets about certain people or whether it is that flicker or it's just that he's not like Ben." He paused realising Patrick didn't know Ben and said. "Okay as you can see he's good looking so she's not gone for the opposite if you see what I mean … and yes I don't like men with beards but that little goatee is not hiding anything. He's not loud and abrasive he's quiet and you can sense he's educated … understands things when you are around him.

Ben is quiet but there's depth and command there, if he wanted to he could silence a crowd as he walked in but he rarely did, people would walk by him quite happily just knowing he was there. But Rodney couldn't do that he's just a man being quiet … but then again … not hiding away in the corner as though he's trying to hide or hiding from something … Oh I don't know you'd have to be with him to understand it. Perhaps it's because I don't know anything about him and that's making me think he's hiding something like Ben was."

He sighed and paused knowing he could never really put his finger on that feeling and then carried. "Whatever it was I'm sure Lindy's name was the trigger and I don't know her surname or if she's the cousin or the dead guy's the cousin it wasn't really clarified I mean you don't do you. I don't like not knowing … and I know I've got to trust Maria's feelings after all she knows the guy."

Patrick nodded and looked down at the photo and said. "He could have flickered because he doesn't know you; just your record and perhaps he's protecting Lindy's past or her dead husband's past could be now her husband's dead she's starting a proper job not one on the 'street' assuming she ever was on the 'street' or the game. It just the style of her clothes that shout that at us because of our job she might just like that type of clothes. Or she or he might have had a bad time with the police we know it happens and that was why he was 'quiet' around you. I expect he would take his lead from Maria after all she is your sister so would know her fears about you."

Ricardo nodded it made sense knowing his job did tend to shut people up or at least made them think before they talked so perhaps it was nothing just him.

A tap on the door stopped their discussion and Paul walked in without waiting for an answer knowing they were there and looking at Ricardo commenting with a grin. "Nice dress."

Ricardo huffed at his tease realising he'd not taken the jacket off.

Paul carried on immediately so avoiding any comeback from him. "Don't worry I got one too Jude's handing them out like candy. Just met the Chief on the stairs says he's feeling more like an old fashioned sheriff swearing in the whole town for a posse instead of running a modern station of Officers."

Patrick laughed and Paul could not resist it so added. "He's even sworn in Sy …" Ignoring Patrick's dark look he explained realising Ricardo might not know the significance. "Patrick's new girl friend, Doctors Tim and Helen's daughter he gave her a lift up and got to know her. In case you wondering just saw her with Bette and Vanessa so they are gone for the afternoon." The photo on the desk caught his attention and he exclaimed. "**Hey** she's s bit of al…."

Patrick put his hand over the photo saying sharply. "Enough, what have you got."

Paul sighed knew he trod on toes and said. "Okay didn't see it. The clearer photo of the ATM lady has turned up two possibilities Lynette Cortes from a fishing town down south with a minor driving offence quite a while ago as in years not months or days and then there's Carol Lawson from Seattle minor driving offence literally just in, if they hadn't pinched the computer I would have been too early for it and missed it.

Regarding the fireworks Jude's in a huff about, the company has outlets all over the place and they deal with displays or parties etc rather than selling to individuals from shops. Unfortunately they have quite a few outlets down the coast so where do we start."

Hearing this line action Ricardo suddenly realised Jude's thinking and exclaimed. "You mean he thinks last nights effort was aimed to get at Ben!" Patrick nodded letting him finish. "Any around here would help confirm it further away would mean prior knowledge and premeditation which would be impossible unless he carried the fireworks in a vehicle, which would point to a company rep."

Paul smiled and not having to look at his list said "Yeah and dear old Castletown hits the jackpot and there's Seattle of course along with the other big cities like LA etc. I was wondering if Patrick could rustle up the list of employees of Castletown and Seattle I could but a defence lawyer might get it thrown it out at sometime."

Patrick nodded "Yeah can do that, I must admit that town is getting on my nerves too. You come and play computers with me, we'll log it and talk to people and take it from there. Ricardo Jude said go with your gut so write it up as a private note so he can read it later that will satisfy your need. Then read about everything we've learnt this morning so you are up to date with it."

oxoxo

Ten minutes later Paul and Patrick's odd words as they worked increased to Paul's whistle and not so quiet exclamation. "Well we knew he needed a job of some kind and he knew how to use fire **but** **that's** ridiculous!"

"The timing's right though. You know Jude's going to be so insufferable." Patrick said with excitement in his voice that made Ricardo stop reading and hiss "**Well!**" at them.

Patrick looked at him and said calmly. "We've a rep who left the firework company in Seattle awhile ago his name is Derek Marin … Way too much of a coincidence don't you think?"

Ricardo exclaimed "**Hell!**" And as the printer started to print out the names he added as a thought struck him. "So they swapped surnames lets see if we've really found the nest, check to see if a Carol Lawson is there or if she's married see if the maiden surname comes up with a male. We can check this Derek Marin's address see if that comes good or if different from Franklin Street and see if any fall in a comfort zone. Try using Franklin Street and or the company as the headquarters and see which or both fall into the zone."

Patrick chuckled at Ricardo's reaction and nodded agreement then explained to Paul who looked perplexed. "Some criminals like names to be connected or familiar to them then they don't look blank when called by them. They also work in areas and we call them zones. Sometimes they live in one and work in another but usually they are joined by freeways or parks even shopping malls depending on the crime. They act as good escape routes as well normal day to day use.

It will become clearer as we get more information, we'll have to tread carefully not only to stop lawyers throwing things out but to stop any domino effect which could disrupt other evidence. Also the Jailer's no fool and knows computers so we'll have to be aware of traps.

We'll use the paper trail and we've got the ATM picture proof that Ben's money has been stolen or collected by someone else so that should be okay. We can use loss of memory as a way in if we should need to talk to anyone when we know it's safe. Of course we'll have to make sure the block is not a poor innocent so we'll start as Ricardo says names and addresses and note phones numbers for later."

The reading forgotten for the moment they worked together and then stepped back from the map because it didn't work with Franklin Street as the centre but with the firework company as the centre then Franklin Street and Derek's new found address fell within it though Carol Lawson's address was outside.

Ricardo looked hard at the map realising something he didn't like and said quietly. "They could have used them both one for work and one for living. Maria's house is on the edge of the comfort zone if the firework place is the base. That means the damn jailer could have been watching her all this time and she could've be his insurance if we got close early on become a target … good a hostage."

Patrick nodded realising his fears and said calmly. "Ricardo she was not a target, she can't identify the jailer and being divorced from Ben would not have been a good hostage. But we will bear her safety in mind and warn the police and her if needs be but at the moment they don't know we are looking for them. We need to get started on background information to see if it pans out regarding associates etc and you need to finish playing catch up it's all going to take time we both know that."

Ricardo nodded and went back to files and trying to stop his mind from spinning out of control he hadn't liked what he'd been reading in the first place now the thought Maria could be in danger should she go home was unbearable.


	43. Chapter 43

**Chapter 43**

Bob and Jude travelled in silent thinking about what they'd heard and seen, deciding he needed answers before they got to their destination and pulled over into a lay-by on the quiet coastal road. Switching the engine off he turned so he could talk to Bob who had his seat back as far as it could go to help rest his knee and asked one of the other questions that had been going round his mind. "**So** what was it you and Helen didn't want to say in front of the others over lunch?"

"Forgot how good you were once you were tuned into people." Bob admitted with a smile then nodded to himself as he collected his main thoughts together and avoiding the issue asked. "You know about Ben getting Tyus to do checks on him as a safety measure."

Jude nodded with a slight smile knowing he was being side tracked and hoped it was for a good reason.

Bob smiled and admitted. "I'll get there, this first though. Ben travelled by car in and around Sunset and the car is still missing yes?"

Jude sighed they'd both read the report then twigged Bob's idea said softly. "You think he put a tracking device on it, so if he disappeared we would look for him that way. But surely that would have come up in Ben's memories when Derek took them. Ben's car is an oldish they only do new expensive ones as standard."

Bob nodded and explained his thinking. "Derek would have had to ask the right questions, knew Ben thought he'd died falling down the cliff so the threat had gone. And as no one else had ever tried to kidnap him so he assumed Ben would think he was safe go back to normal life. Ben has the money to get a private deal for the car, done by someone he trusts completely but would be outside his circle of friends… so it would drop out of his mind perhaps. Someone who'd have access to the tracking company if Ben and the car was declared missing, possibly without going to the police. If Meg had a special car Ben might have had that one done just to ease his mind and from what I've read Derek had a thing for Meg and Ben knew it. He would not have said anything to Meg because he wanted her to feel secure that Derek was dead, and I believe he thought Derek was dead this was mainly because he knew other people could read the papers and get ideas."

Jude pondered on that line of thought. "Good point. We didn't think Ben was missing so that person wouldn't have been alerted and wouldn't have come forward with the information. The car has never turned up via usual requests Ricardo put out so it was most likely hidden. Though hiding a car for a long period is difficult unless it's in someone's garage but then that could cause problems … though it could be well away from here, being left in the undergrowth it could still be tripped over … so it's most probably been cut up the identifiable parts buried… hidden but that would take resources and the tracking device would have been found disabled… chucked. Its going to be like looking for a needle in a haystack in a country wide field not to mention the water it could be under. But its point and I'll ask Ricardo to think who it might be."

Bob said quickly. "If there was just one attacker then the haystack might be close by he might have been worried about being seen in a known car and he would have to get back and pick his own up, before someone rang it in ... pinched it even. If there were two attackers then it would be further a field. No pun intended and don't call Ricardo just yet though.

Jude looked at him and waited knowing they were getting to the true reason of whatever he and his sister were avoiding or hiding over lunch.

Bob didn't turn away from Jude's look instead he sighed and then said seriously though there was a slight plea in his voice. "Promise not to chuck me out the car and make me walk back."

Jude had not expected that and snorted exclaiming his true fear if he did. "**What!** Face your sister, brother in law, Betsy **and** Tyus when I go back without you or you limp back or to the hospital. Not likely!

Bob laughed and said. "Yeah good point there." Then turning serious knowing he was safe he started. "So how about the Jailer being the scapegoat in all this and not knowing a thing about it ... took his money from Derek and ran or just ran and is living a normal life in another State or Country."

Jude looked at him aghast, but thinking it through very quickly said quietly. "Go on I might shout but I won't kick you out. I can see a few holes but I can also see your point of not to get too channelled on one idea."

He paused to give Bob the chance to jump in and as he didn't, he knew Bob was waiting for him to voice his thoughts so they could bounce the ideas around. So he started. "Your thinking the person must have been close to Ben and be in the loop as to what's been happening since Christmas and has to be very clever with computers or close to someone who understands them. There's a hole … it would mean a couple close to Ben and his group. … They or just the one would have had to watch Ocean Drive till whenever Ben left then followed him to Castletown ... waited till what were we saying early evening or even late evening when the opportunity rose to attack him and then get back to Sunset and still not be missed by group of friends or draw attention to themselves by suddenly coming back. Granted one could cover for other I suppose or one could have called the other to help get rid of the car. Either way it's a tall order and if money was the motive they couldn't spend it openly it would be too much and I can't say anyone in that group has started splashing money around."

Bob nodded and explained his sister's and his thoughts. "Okay, I can cover that Ben might have rung the person late afternoon and asked them to come to him ... he wanted to discuss something … regretted leaving needed to talk so he could come back quickly and quietly, he might have felt he'd burnt a few boats in his phone calls. The person came and they talked and then came a flash of anger from either one of them and it turned nasty and needed a longer cover up hence the email when that worked they carried on till now. I'll give you who with motive and you can cross them off the list. Remember this is an outsider's point of view on what we've read today, you've got the deep knowledge of the people involved … we haven't."

Jude nodded and queried. "Them? But not as a group working together … just a single person with someone else outside the group or just the one person by themselves and this is what you and your sister needed to be said in private?"

Bob nodded and started. "Speculation can hurt, open wounds that have healed and people would start mistrusting us and we can't have that if we are to help Ben become stable in his memories. We **need **everyone's trust including yours which why this needs to be done in private."

"Okay." Jude said starting to figure out who and why but would let Bob give the list.

Knowing that tone Bob got down to business. "Firstly Ricardo. He has a thing against Ben and we know he has a vindictive streak if crossed. Motive easy his sister had been deceived by Derek for four months. Ricardo most probably thought of her being raped in mind and body, especially as her dreams of a family life were smashed. He didn't get the satisfaction of either arresting Derek or killing him Ben did it for him. Then come Christmas Day and Ben left Maria with Benjy with no support and she broke down.

Its possible Ben might have tried to contact Maria to see how things were; he wouldn't necessarily try the house phone thinking she would be out and about and failed. So he tried Ricardo knowing Antonio would be otherwise engaged with services and the wedding coming up. Hence the late meeting, hence the anger and the beating, Ricardo has the knowledge of how to cover up and contacts both sides of the law … also Meg and the trustees keep him in the loop knowing he was a safe pair of hands. So he's been helping them believing Ben was dead and therefore not a threat, now he's in a position to twist this enquiry having inside information from you and his brother. And the fireworks are a useful coincidence and can be used to confuse things."

Jude sighed and said immediately. "Well motive yes I could see Ricardo getting angry but time to do it no. He was in and out of Cedar Oaks and would have most likely killed the good Doctor first. He was also with Gabi and Antonio getting things sorted out between them and that continued through to the next day etc as you know things have gone very well there. To brutally be honest Ricardo would have put a bullet in Ben's brain to make sure he was dead not just beat him up and left him for dead on the beach. Next."

Bob nodded and smiled knowing this one was closer to home and might well get him chucked out the car regardless of promises and said. "Annie."

"**What!!**" Jude spat out.

Bob carried on calmly know playing devil advocate was dangerous but necessary. "Though she let Maria and Ben marry we believe that crush or obsession was still there. When Ben became single again she tried to get him and failed we know she hated the idea of Meg having him especially when Maria came back. The obsession is still there for her it was either herself or Maria for Ben no one else, and he walked out on Maria leaving her high and dry and a divorcee. Annie could have rung him to talk to him and went to see him and he reinforced that a) he wasn't having Maria and b) he didn't her he wanted Meg and that would have set her off big time."

Jude got over his shock and nodded but smiled as he admitted. "Nope, no good … Christmas Eve night and Christmas day morning I was dealing with Gregory Richards's reappearance as well as a bad headache, she wasn't there when I dealt with Maria but she was in and around the rest of the time. She left with Bette to get ready for the wedding and was with me all the afternoon and that night."

He gave a huff fully understanding why they didn't want to raise this in front of the others and was glad and continued. "Though I can see where you are coming from and she is devious knows a bit about computers but I can't see her beating him up and leaving him … more like getting him drunk and bedding him to be honest. … Anyway she reformed and hopefully will stay with me any more?"

Bob nodded understanding what he'd just stirred up and said. "The obvious one."

Jude smiled and chuckled "Yeah we thought of the rich widow as you know. But Charles knew about the divorce being wanted by **both** parties so that scrubbed that one. I have no doubt that if Ben's body had turned up before the papers had gone to the Judge, Charles would have made sure the Will Ben handed into his office earlier Christmas Eve would have been carried out to the letter. The email to Charles let her off the hook, of course we know now they were all lies … makes you wonder what you can trust these days. In any case she was with Rodney, the police and the good doctor for most of 25th and 26th."

Bob nodded and explained. "Yeah I know from the files but Helen was really wondering about her motive for adopting Benjy Christmas Eve it seemed a bit rushed and I expect you know children make good leverages."

Jude nodded understanding where this was going and said. "She thought Benjy needed someone he loved to love him back while his world was torn apart … they knew each other. Thought she could over come her own hurt through him … but because of his behaviour and then realised just how much he would remind her of Derek as he grew up … possibly saw a bit of Derek already in him due to his temper … broke down and ran. Go on."

Bob nodded and sighed. "I know, but we think there was possibly a deeper harder reason and when it failed she cast him off using his father's deceit as the reason. Because she was hurting she was going to use Benjy as a tool to get at Ben … be that thorn in his side as well a way of getting more money."

Jude nodded, "Oh I see. Vengeance especially as Derek died … so easily and had caused her so much pain, add the lost years in Seattle. Possible and she would not have known about the restrictions till Ben told her that night at Ocean Drive and she'd already adopted Benjy. She's gentler than Ricardo and Ben gave her a very good deal with the divorce, I'm sure she just broke and ran when faced with an angry grieving child; don't forget she ended up in front of the family court. Anymore?"

Bob smiled and said softly "Yes two **but** I think we can discount one from what we've seen just now although I need to know what she might have got if he died."

Jude laughed and said. "Well Hank was with family, at the wedding and then at Shock Wave and of course they had Benjy with them so I think his disappearance would have caused a stir. I agree he and Ben had an up and down understanding mainly on Hank's side and he did knock Ben for six one time. I got a funny feeling Ben would not have held back this time and would have injured him. More to the point I can't see Ben ringing him for a talk … mind you they had some bridges to build so perhaps he would have … no if it was Christmas evening he'd more likely ring Casey they were close and he would have brought him home or talked him round rather than beat him up and try to kill him. Meg … well she's the same as Hank regarding Christmas day and evening and she's been doing as Ben asked making a home for their future and taking care of things and she's the one who's fretted asked for Ricardo's help and support. … I think she would have broken through guilt even if her father had helped with a cover up."

Bob nodded remembering what they'd seen and said. "Missing might have been an option she clung onto after all he left her in charge of his fortune while he was gone."

Jude reminded him. "Along with a committee of trusted people, she couldn't run off with any or siphon any off and the house is his not hers, she lives on the money she gets from Sunset Sisters not Ben's and that's her doing not his. I didn't say this earlier but I had a very quiet word with Charles about Ben's Will Christmas Day, a natural step in view of the circumstances. What he told stays between us no one else not even Helen."

He saw Bob's nod and carried on. "Briefly on his death all his fortune is cashed in over a period of six months and put into a holding account then it's taken out and distributed to the residents of Sunset Beach. So Meg would come under that part of the Will. There is another clause that dealt with the future saying that if she's his wife and they have family then they would get a living allowance and the rest of the fortune is cashed in and dealt with as before it was to stop fortune hunters and spoilt brats Charles's words not Ben's. Granted alive and missing might be interesting for her but you saw how they react to each other … **need** each other and he's been coming back to her even when he didn't know her."

Jude then gave a small huff of acceptance and not liking any options on this matter added."**So **we're back the Jailer and we can assume the second scar on Ben's back is from a whip slash. Was payback or just done to prove he was still the master over him and most likely done after he'd beaten Ben up on the beach."

Bob gave a slight smiled having done his job and got out alive and fully understanding Jude's attitude answered. "Yes I agree but it was best to get the others out the picture in private."

Jude nodded and added "Yeah and accusing Antonio's brother and sister in front of him would have started him mistrusting the pair of you and you certainly don't want that. So, can I ring Ricardo and then drive on.

Bob chuckled at the tone of Jude's last sentence and asked with a slight plea in his voice. "Yeah, can I listen?"

"Sure we'll share the earphones but you stay silent unless I ask you to speak okay."

Getting Bob's nod he then sorted things out.

oxoxo

Having driven on Jude pulled up to **the spot** Bob told him to and killed the engine still not quite believing that his hate of coincidences had uncovered where Derek worked and might even lead to the jailer and partner. They had not looked after Derek's death because all leads had died in the fire at Franklin Street and lack of id proof when Ben left as he did. So it became a cold case waiting for Ben to comeback and tell-all, even without that bit it looked as though it was waking up with all its implications possibly be solved before Ben remembered. Their main job was not to rush it and to keep Ben in one safe spot as he remembered … came back to them.

And he couldn't blame Ricardo doing what he did regarding his sister and at least he talked about it to Patrick and himself briefly and that seemed to have put things into perspective, which as far as he was concerned meant Ricardo had learnt his lesson and was a safe officer again. Now he would be busy with background work and finding if there was a tracking device and then he and Patrick would try and get a warrant and open one which would cover a lot of permutations rather than a specific one. They'd all agreed that Castletown had turned up too many times not to mean something so they would start there … if there wasn't a tracking device they'd have to wait till the car turned up if ever.

Quickly tucking those thoughts away Jude checked. "**So,** Ben was just in front of us." And then got his pocket camera out of the compartment in the dashboard, he wanted a record to show the others even though it was months ago and no evidence would be around. There was also a chance seeing the photos might help Ben remember as well.

Bob pushed the door and made sure it was securely opened then answered as he started to get the crutches ready so he could get out of the car. "Yes sitting on the side of the road and facing away from the cliff top. As you can see no street lights and no buildings around so there was nothing for him to aim for. On this side of the road there's just a few bushes, I had my headlights on and it was getting light … it had been a bright moon that night." He gave a slight huff adding. "You go on I can manage."

Jude resisted any comment remembering him getting into the car and got out knowing Bob would ask if he **really** got into trouble. Closing the door he looked around and pondered … it was a typical coastal road shrub land, cliff top and drops to the sea with some woodland on the other side of the road and fields beyond that no doubt. Castletown itself was too far away to be seen as there were small hills in between anyway. He took in the parking area down near the path to the beach, which Ben must have came up and noted that even on a nice day like today it was empty … there were no dog walkers as there were no houses within easy reach or ramblers with rucksacks either. He also remembered that nothing had followed them since they'd passed the turning off to Castletown nor had anything come in the other direction and looking ahead he realised the road was still empty … in fact it was really very quiet … desolate and this was daylight.

He sighed and walked round to the front of the car, then sat down on the side of the road putting himself in Ben's shoes. As he did so he lost the light and warmth of the day and felt the empty space around him, felt the tiredness and hurt he'd read in the medical reports and hunched over clutching his chest. In the back of his mind he knew it was an unknown truck not a known car that loamed over Ben and shivered.

oxoxo

Bob clambered awkwardly out and shut the door then silently looked around remembering that morning and compared it to seeing it in daylight now. Watching Jude take Ben's place he knew a couple of things that had not struck him then and walked over to him, seeing the shiver he knew Jude was role playing and nudged him with one of the crutches saying. "You know looking around now and seeing the distance to here and the slope in daylight I really don't think Ben would have made it here from the beach."

Jude came out of his darkness and looked up at Bob, then glanced over and saw what he meant even from down there he could see the slope down and let the man carry on with his thoughts and started off on his own… see if they were the same.

Knowing this was what the drive was all about Bob sighed and voiced his thoughts. "But he must have because he had sand in his wounds, on his clothes and its all grass up here. So why didn't he stop at the parking area … what was so important up here. Surely he would have parked his car down there … unless he didn't he parked it here and walked along the cliff edge then down to the path onto the beach. Which means he was hoping his car was here … had been missed … then collapsed on the spot when he found it was gone. **Or** did someone else find him down there tried to help him but had to leave him here? Why do that? …Did he fight them thought they were the attacker. Could he have been attacked elsewhere and dumped here being out of the way." he sighed "You know seeing it brings more damn questions than answers?" Looking around again he added softly. "Do you know anything about these cliffs?"

Jude hadn't moved and instead of answering Bob's question voiced his own feelings to get rid of them and become himself again. "I can't get over how empty it feels even in daylight. There are no houses so no lights, just empty road and cliffs, … if you couldn't remember because of shock there's no way of knowing which way to go left or right to get help. … To come back from being attacked and find no car must have been a soul destroying blow."

He shifted slightly to get up and found it a bit more awkward than getting down had two goes at it while commenting. "Mind you it would have been a bigger one if the attacker stayed around and found him gone then traced him up here. … Perhaps that's why he walked up this way to avoid them … could have sprained his ankle and curled up for warmth or couldn't find the strength to move again or even get up… got ready to accept what Fate threw at him and got you."

Finally up he got his balance and turned to face the sea stamping the life back into his legs and remembered the information he gathered earlier and answered Bob's question. "As for the cliffs they are best left alone, hence the barriers further up along the road and the boulders here to deter parking too close on this strip. Get people to use the car park and walk along the beach rather than the cliff top. From coastguard notes the beach is a small cove rocky, pebbles with sand pockets and people do swim from it but you can't get round any further due to cliff falls etc. The furthest cove to our left is called Dead Mans Cove for a good reason the cliffs are straight down to the water … no beach just rocks and no paths down so if you survive a fall you can't get up. That's why they put a high fence and loads of warning boards.

The one in front of us was a bit like the beach but with steep paths down and very tidal, that is till the earthquake I told you about. That apparently caused the outer cliffs and outcrops to crumble and its believed the tide is taking water out rather than in. All it needs is another shift of a rock and the sea would come in and in any case the paths are blocked hence the signs and boulders to stop people staying to climb down. You've got to ask the question why Ben should park up here … he would have come to the car park first and from what I gather Ben is no fool seeing the signs he would have gone back to the car park."

Jude stopped there and silently took photos of the area and then sighed knowing what Bob was thinking and answered the unasked question that hung between. "I agree with you. If I was the jailer I would have chucked him over the top and not left him on the beach. The fence round the other one would make this one a good choice and the fact Ben ended up here not down there … well makes it too much of a coincidence." He huffed. "**And** I hate those." Then looking at Bob added. "**So **you're thinking Christmas day evening Ben got chucked over the cliff and had a night climbing up the damn thing."

Bob nodded and said gently. "Something kept him warm overnight he was getting hypothermic rather than well and truly in it. If you see what I mean."

Jude nodded and the started to walk along an animal track he'd spotted as he'd sat by the road, it had lead from where he sat to the other track close to the cliff edge. He'd been surprised at what went through mind as he sat there and commented. "He would have seen and followed this if he was on all fours assuming he'd sprained his ankle climbing or just on the top, you said once it was strapped it took his weight so he could have use it without strapping if need be."

Bob nodded remembering his brother in laws words and it would have been one amongst other pain add his survival rush and he could have made it to the road where he was found. He started to move towards Jude wanting to see and knowing he had to be cautious.

Jude walked on following the narrow path he seen; when he got close to the edge he decided to turn towards the left to see if that was another path he'd spotted going behind some bushes or was just a dead end and wished he hadn't thought that... in fact he wished he'd never come… A clank of metal and the thump of something falling over, made him turn round quickly, expecting to see Bob in difficulty knowing bumpy ground, he had hoped the man would have stayed back at the car … **but** knowing the pull of the questions they were throwing up it was way too much except.

Bob had been making slow progress and had stopped as one of his crutches had found the edge of an old sign and slipped a bit. Seeing it was a sign that should have been standing as it was warned of dangerous cliffs Bob's curiosity and old habits which were never far from the surface made him flip it over to see what crawled out from underneath it. As he had to do it with the crutches rather than quietly bending down and picking it up there was the clank and thump that Jude heard and made him turn.

Realising Bob wasn't flat on his face or a twisted heap but was in fact looking intent at some thing on the ground Jude asked sharper than intended. "**Well!**"

Bob looked up and at him giving nothing away and said slowly. "Being a detective you carry plastic bags and gloves as well as that camera don't you?"

Jude sighed and nodded then walking over wondered what path Bob was leading him up this time. Coming to stand by him he looked down and saw there nestled in amongst dead and mouldy whatever that once grew or lived there sat a pair of mucky handcuffs. The men looked at each other neither wanting to mention '**that'** word again and both quickly went over what they knew till Bob said. "Ben's wrists were bruised"

"There was a mention of bruises from his time in Seattle." Jude countered not liking where this was going they'd thought of a mugging this looked too much like k…

Bob nodded and carrying on quickly knowing Jude's likely thoughts. "There was narrow band of bruising that came up when he was with us which helped my thoughts of gangland possibilities."

Jude huffed "**Hell!**" then took photos and then carefully picked the handcuffs up and put them in a bag sealing and writing on it before putting them safe then added. "They aren't toy or the kinky sex kind either, anyway its too damn cold and exposed for that up here." Then looked at Bob and added with feeling. "You know no one and I mean **no one** is going to let that man out of their sights ever again!"

Bob gave a short laugh knowing that was true and it included his sister if she had a chance and looked around putting himself in Ben's shoes and said. "Car could have been parked where I found him … he might have disregarded the signs and Antonio did say he liked cliff walking ... or it could have been the beach …either way a walk in the wrong place, wrong time.

The jailer and partner came across or followed and over powered him and took his jacket and wallet keys etc whipped and handcuffed him then walked or dragged him to this point. Not knowing the history of the cove they assumed it's as bad as Dead Man's Cove because of the notices and chucked him over. Somehow he not only survives the fall he climbs up and either collapses because the car is not there or he's just too exhausted to think which way to go and just sits and hopes. Remember he's concussed so he might not be thinking straight as for the photo he probably screwed it up thinking he's protecting her in some way so he's right it wasn't done in anger.

He looked at Jude as he added. "If I remember rightly Antonio said Ben called out a plea that as they had him they were to leave his wife and nephew alone, perhaps he was hoping they would leave Sunset Beach now they had his card and money. He was in shock got muddled as he pleaded with them then or as he recalled it during the fireworks and called her wife … he must have been going through hell both times. He might always have thought of her as wife after the service so it was Meg and not Maria he was worried about."

Not liking it one bit and could see Bob didn't either Jude added quietly. "So they got in the cars and drove off say back to Seattle or anywhere in fact hid one and lived normally. He checked up with what was going on here via papers etc and if we are right and the firework company is the nest then he was or is close enough to Maria to take her hostage should we ever get that connection and move in. So what … he's here now waiting and watching or there waiting and watching.

Bob added softly. "Well if he is it's a very hot case and not a cold one … we have the advantage of Ben being safer than at the Mission. But it wouldn't be in the jailer's interest to be too close and he would need to be able to implement his escape plan so he would have to be near his nest and his partner. He might not know Maria's here so he could go there but the police don't know who to look for yet so that's no good."

Jude shuddered and looked around there was still no one in sight and it felt as though no one ever came either. He walked up to the large solitary bush and then glancing back calling out. "There's a possible path round the back here so I'm going down keep your phone on in case I need help."

"Okay." Bob knew Jude needed to do it to find out if by some weird chance there was a clue to say yes or no to their theory. Preferably no and they were all theories till Ben told them which one was fact and with that thought he carefully flipped the board back into place. Then he slowly walked around keeping his eyes on the ground so he would not jar his knee which was feeling much better and also for a clue or answer that would hopefully jump out at him ... well he could hope couldn't he.

oxoxo

Jude was having fun, with a capital F as he steadied himself along the path, it was steep, narrow and boulders blocked bits but he carried on knowing full well that when he was down there he'd have to get back up... or call the coastguard out. That would really go down well but if he was right and his gut was telling him he was … Ben did this when beaten up and in the dark so he could do it fully fit and in the light… couldn't he.

He sighed with relief as he'd made it to the bottom and looked a long the curve of the small cove, the water was a fair way a way and with no recent tide line up close so it looked as though it had been dropping rather than rising and hoped the change wouldn't happen today. Standing there he realised he felt warm not only from the scrambling but from the sun and lack of breeze, and ticked if off as a possible good point if Ben been down here at night.

As he walked along by the cliff face in the direction he knew Bob was standing at the top he noted there was a mixture of pebbles of different sizes with the odd rock scattered around and some large pockets of sand. That was another tick in a box one and he didn't like at all especially as he was eyeing a particular patch of sand and rang Bob so he could find out exactly where he was standing.

oxoxo

Bob, who'd been miles away in thought jumped at the ring from his pocket and in his haste to answer dropped one of the crutches, swore and found the phone and answer with a quick. "You stuck."

Jude heard the concern in his voice and answered. "No I'm at the bottom and I need to know where you are."

Bob was tempted to say at the top but resisted it manfully and said. "I'll stick a crutch out so you can see the end but you'll have to wait I dropped the other one when you rang."

Jude laughed then added "**And **you thought **I** needed help." then said seriously. "Hate to say this but there are pockets of sand down here some near the bottom of the cliff. Its damn hard work getting down and going up in the dark must have been … I would have said impossible …but very hard. There is a plus he couldn't see the damn drop but then he couldn't see the way ahead either. If you've dropped one of your crutches don't bother, just call out. I don't want you landing on my head thank you very much."

Bob couldn't resist it. "Oh I don't know I'd get a soft landing." At the huff clearly heard over the phone he added. "Don't worry I can manage with one, it's the picking up I can't do so you can do that after your exercise. Keep on the line though."

He walked carefully back to the edge of the cliff where he'd found the sign and cuffs then tied a hanky to the end of the crutch and held it out and then yelled. "See it!"

He got a yell back from the bottom. "Yeah fine thanks!"

Bob set things right and moved back a bit then said into the phone again. "So what's it like down there."

Jude answered looking around a bit closer now he knew he was in the right area. "Not bad, there are several new tidal lines all going out. Nothing to actually say Ben was down here. I wondered if they might have chucked something else over like the whip or his jacket in which case I would have got the rescue lads to get it but there's nothing not even a coin or phone in the sand. I'll be up in a while so stay put."

"Okay I'll move back to where I was when you rang M'lord." Hearing Jude's laugh Bob disconnected and walked back taking his time knowing it would be harder for Jude coming up than going down and he'd take photos as well. He pondered their thoughts knowing nothing was set in stone till Ben remembered; it could still be an attack on the top of the cliff though the sand certainly pointed to the other theory. Whatever happened here he did know what it was like to be on the run from an enemy with and without back up and Ben … well it looked as though he'd come through that kind of thing without training and without back up and definitely had more than one life. And meeting the 'whole' man … well that was going to be interesting when it happened … as was their talk he'd promised … well whatever form it took it was going to be helpful. Give them the answer or more clues and then there was Helen he knew she liked the man … she would be amazed … already was …

oxoxo

Over a quarter of an hour later and Bob was thinking about ringing just to check Jude was okay but knew that might cause a fall or a sharp retort and he hadn't heard a yell or tumble and then spotted the man coming up from further along the path and when he got closer Bob could not resist the tease. "You cheated."

Jude laughed and came over looking hot "Yeah well there was an easier one further along and I had the choice so I took it. Unfortunately I don't think Ben would have found it in the dark both were cut off at the bottom and he would have been nearer the first one. But he might have seen it was clear further up and decided that was his only way up… that's assuming he could see that far didn't just stumble across it and went up regardless. You said the moon was out so it might have been okay, it's sheltered and warm down there the rocks might have given off some heat … but that might have been wishful thinking on my part. I imagine he bumped a few things on the way down though so they could have caused some his injuries." and huffed "Could say he knew what to expect … done it before and got the damn T- shirt for it."

Bob gave a sympathetic chuckle as Jude added. "Come on let's go back I'll get one of the lads at the gate to go get the film printed from an hour shop and give you copies as well."

Jude then bent down to pick up Bob's other crutch by the top of it and then crouched down further and started to gently smooth the grass away just beside it. With a long sigh and hoping it was not connected he got his camera and took a photo, then another making sure the crutch was in it as a reference point. Still staying silent he took another showing where they were as regards to the cliff top.

Bob stayed silent watching Jude's moves getting more and more concerned but knew better than to ask if he wanted to keep his head. As Jude put away his camera and take out a new evidence bag from his pocket and carefully put the offending articles in it Bob realised what the man had spotted and said quietly. "Doesn't mean it happened to Ben someone could have been out here in the months in between even yesterday and tried out a new gun, no one to call 911 as only one car has been by while you were down there and even less people to harm if you face out to sea."

Jude huffed eyeing Bob and quipped back. "Yeah … Too much of a damn coincidence and as you know **I hate** them. At least we can trace a couple of these and find out. They look like they've been specially made possibly a gun club or special type of gun the others look mass produced. I'll either take them back or get someone to take the lot back when get to the garden centre."

He shifted back and looked for more as he continued. "It tells us why he hates gunshots rather than just one that killed his brother. **And** if I'm allowed to jump to conclusions regarding the fireworks, its why there were a group and not just one damn big bang. **But** I also know and accept that we could be looking at coincidences and I want it that way I certainly don't want the jailer anywhere near here thank you very much."

Not finding anymore he sealed and wrote on the bag then put it away and got up using the crutch to help him and voiced his thoughts wanting them out in the air rather than spinning around with rest. "As I see it, one un-cuffed him to push him over the edge and he fought back the other fired over their heads so as not to hit the partner … most likely the female doing the shooting either way Ben went over. Thank goodness he wasn't hit; he would never have made it up then. Not knowing the area too well they ran knowing noise carries. We need to go back and tell the others of our thoughts before Ben actually remembers … your sister might want to do things differently now."

Bob nodded taking the crutch and shifting ready to walk back to the car as Jude sighed adding. "Don't think there are any more … five is enough anyway … I'll mark the area using these red metal markers rather than tape from the car I don't want anything obvious to any outsiders not that people seem to come here often. The lads can use the machine to find them later if needs be."

He pushed the small red metal markers into the ground then followed Bob back, neither talked even as they got in the car and got settled. Jude started the engine and turned the car noting the lack of traffic then exclaimed "**Really!**" as Bob leant forward and flicked the switch that turned on the flashing blue light on his dashboard.

Bob shrugged settled back saying innocently. "For the queue that's just a round the corner."

"Yeah" Jude laughed knowing that was only half the story and kept it on and put his foot down on the accelerator.


	44. Chapter 44

**Chapter 44**

Jude parked the car near the chalet and got out greeting Jenny who was carrying two containers of the promised scones and sandwiches with a nod and smile knowing he was hungry after his climb. Because he was the only one with free hands Jude opened the gate and let Jenny and Bob through, instead of talking as they walked they looked around noticing how good the garden looked now the plants were in. Seeing Ben with Betsy sitting close beside him on one of the benches looking across the pond Bob said quietly. "They used to do that at the farm. Guess one of them got tired."

Jude smiled thinking that both **had** to be tired and saw the others were quietly putting out chairs and tables outside the lounge area ready for the food break. Seeing everything looking so normal helped squash the thoughts of what might have happened on the cliff top before Bob found Ben and remind him they were just thoughts and Ben was safe now. He'd passed the film and evidence over to an officer at the gate and knew Bob's copies would be back in about an hour so he might have some information about the bits by then… something to rule them out of the equation… or in. He'd reinforced the phone not radio rule knowing the press or others could listen to the police frequency… get positive proof Ben was not at the Mission at the moment it could be just a rumour. Deciding he wanted time here to swap information and get to know… come to terms with this Ben he'd promised to ring in later and they were not to ring him unless it was really urgent… he didn't want the phone going off at the wrong time.

He put his thoughts away as they reached the table and both groups greeted each other with nods and smiles as Meg finished putting the plates on the table. Jenny put her containers in the middle knowing the rest would want to swap information and looked at Helen and said quietly. "I'll grab the drinks from inside if you like."

"Thanks it shouldn't take a moment and then join us." Helen replied knowing they wanted her to be involved because of her connection with Ben as well as needing her to look after Betsy.

Jenny smiled and nodded and left them.

Looking at his sister Bob asked casually. "How's things, it looks like you've been a bit busy since we left." As they'd walked up he'd notice the relaxed friendship between her, Tim and Meg and as there hadn't been any guarded eye contact between them at the greeting he guessed nothing untoward happened.

Helen smiled and gave a gentle laugh at her brother's tone and words and answered. "Fine and **yes** we have been working hard. Mind you he's got a good system going and as they did the hard bit earlier I know Meg's going to feel it more than I will." Knowing Bob needed some answers before Ben joined them she turned serious saying. "Meg and I chatted while doing the side border so I know a lot more about things and friends and can understand why his instincts pulled him back here to her and he trusts her completely."

Bob gave a slight smile seeing Meg blush and suddenly found the plates on the table interesting and knew they'd had a heart to heart and let his sister who'd given Meg a little nod of support carry on. "I think they will be fine, especially with the album to help jog his memory, if the opportunity occurs we should get him to tell us what the photos mean etc. It will take the pressure off Meg as well as seeing how much he can recall. We've taken some more and he can put them in later and there's a great one of Betsy … she's been very good, though she's chatted to him she given him silent space as well. He's preferred her company to ours though he let Tim help where necessary so he could be adjusting to us being here by being close to her rather all of us at once. I noticed he's been signing more now they sat on the bench so things might start happening, especially as you've come back and we'll meet up for food. I expect Betsy will tell him you've come back she knows food is around. Of course it could take awhile you can never predict these things. **So** how did you get on?"

Bob thought it all sounded good and looked at Jude to see if he wanted to take over but got a nod of 'you go on' so said. "Good and bad news. We think we found where the sand in his wounds came from."

Helen eyed her brother knowing that tone and noticing Meg was starting to look anxious at them so said. "Go on good new first."

Bob gave a slight smile and knowing his sister's thoughts over lunch said gently. "Jude and I agree the jailer is our main suspect and Ben is here with us, in reasonable health and we can help him. The police have a possible id for the female and are starting to gather more information about Derek's group in Seattle."

Meg stayed silent but showed surprise at the mention of Derek wondering where that would lead them while Helen quickly weighing things up, nodded and said "Good. We decided the jailer was the most likely candidate as well. So the bad news is the sand didn't come from the beach?"

Bob knew from his sister's words she'd trusted Meg enough to check out their earlier thoughts as well as catching on about the sand and knowing there was no easy way for this said gently. "Not from that beach, we reckon he was chucked over the cliff edge Christmas day evening and he climbed back up and along the flat path to where I found him during the night…" He stopped not only because of Meg's gasp but because their attention was draw to Betsy.

She'd got up from beside Ben and first of all walked towards them then ran …she wasn't looking scared which they all took as a plus point and waited to see what would happen.

Betsy ignored the others and stopped in front of Bob and said quickly though slightly breathless. "I told Ben you and Jude had just come and he said he needed you. But I don't think he's here or on the farm." She saw their confused expressions and said. "He won't look away from the pond and earlier he mumbled something about hurting Meg and I can't get his attention anymore."

That clarified things for Helen and she knew what was needed and said quickly and gently, glancing at Jenny who'd just come back in time to hear Betsy words. "**Bob** you need to go to him and we need to be close by. Let him talk and reassure him everyone is safe, prompt gently if he accepts your voice but don't take over completely ... it could be flashbacks."

Bob knew those and nodded and started to walk over knowing it would take time and let his sister turn her attention to the others. "**Betsy** sweetheart I need you to go with Jenny now and stay overnight and tomorrow, she has a daughter similar age, you'll have fun."

As Betsy started to huff, "No …

Helen got her tape machine ready knowing that would signal Betsy that she meant business … as in grown ups helping Ben and continued gently. "Sweetheart you know Ben was kidnapped and attacked before he came to us."

She got a huffy nod from the child so carried on. "If he's remembering or is going to re-live any of those he wouldn't want you to hear about them. You're too young and he loves you and cares about you too much for that.

In any case he might not do it now so there will be a lot of hanging around and waiting, you'll get bored because we'll have to stay close to him and be quiet. We'll ring you and let you know how he is and when you come back tomorrow night you can tell him what you've done and who you have met and he'll love that. Take photos and you can show him and us." She knew she'd won because Betsy had stayed silent, so she gave her a hug and a kiss then started to walk away taking Meg with her knowing Tim would be along in a moment.

Betsy knew she should go … but she was in a strange place … strange people and the food on the table looked nice and she really, really wanted to stay with Ben now she found him … they had a good time together...

Tim gave Jenny the key to the trailer and crouched down to Betsy and said gently "You can show Jenny where things are and the new camera is in the pocket on the driver's door. We'll chat later."

Betsy gave a little nod … knowing she would go … in a while she could wait here guard the covered food for them … and see what happens rather than hear what happened…

After Tim had hugged and kissed Betsy Jenny went over and crouched down in front of her and said gently, "We can go and get some cream scones or cake or whatever you want from the restaurant before we collect Sandra from school. She's eight and half and fun to be with. Her class are going on a school trip to a science fair tomorrow and as her special friend can't be there you'll be able to go as well and meet the others. They'll be in your year or class as you'll be staying here and it will be a fun way to say hi to them. Then there's Tinker the dog and my parents who also know Ben."

Betsy was getting intrigued so her curiosity was beating her fear and worry … and after all she knew Ben **had** the best help and she wasn't **really** being passed over to just anyone … these people had a dog and garden centre and were Ben's friends so they were special … **and** Sandra had the same name as her auntie and she was fun.

Jenny saw the signs of being won over and got up and held out her hand which Betsy grasped and together with quick glances back at the group by the pond they walked towards the gate and then out of the garden.

oxoxo

While he'd been gardening with Betsy, Ben had that being in two places feeling again as his mind drifted in and out of what must be his past and present. Small fragments of memory had been joining together to make bigger ones, … some made sense even with gaps of darkness in and around them … others didn't make sense at all … and some of those seemed to hover in the background as if waiting for something else so they could fall into place some when. Though he only signed if necessary he found Betsy's laughter and chatter even though some of it didn't make sense to him it ground him and reminded that Meg and the others were around and safe. With it all churning around as he planted he had the feeling he had to tell Bob something important only whatever it was, it was keeping its distance which was annoying.

After he and Betsy finished putting the plants in around the pond they sat on the bench to admire their work and after a moment it felt like back on farm so he started to sign their version her favourite story. She joined in only this time she spoke her part and at the end when the ugly duckling became a beautiful swan she snuggled into him and they enjoyed just sitting there quietly together.

In the quietness his mind started turning things over again and he found himself back in the past with fragments of memories joining together and he knew what he had to tell Bob was nudging closer but wouldn't come. Instead there was a strong conviction that if he started to explain one of these fragments the rest would follow or become clearer. Then he suddenly found himself in the dark basement in Southern Avenue feeling the fear and pain as he fought for his … their lives for their freedom … tables were turned and Meg was in trouble … then he was in trouble … could feel his brother's weight on him and the rope round his neck being pulled tighter …

A quiet child's voice cut through it. "Ben Bob and Jude have come back and Jenny's got food."

He recognised Betsy and the words and managed to say "Need Bob." Then was spiralling back into the basement still feeling the rope cutting the air he needed to fight his brother knowing that to lose would mean his and Meg's death…

As he felt her go and all he could do was to cling on to the sliver of thought that had come with her voice '**they were by the pond and Meg was alive**' but then he lost it as the nightmare continued and when it finished it started with him in the basement fighting for their lives again.

oxoxo

Bob came up to the bench slowly, watching Ben gauging how things were and awkwardly sat down with enough distance between them for safety and yet be close enough to grab him should he collapse. Making sure the crutches were out the way but still close to hand he said calmly and clearly. "**Ben**, I'm here … you wanted to tell me something." and waited ready to repeat it if need be or get out the way if the man swung round ready to attack him.

The others had grabbed a ground blanket and were silently settling down on it out the way but near enough for Helen to tape it and help if necessary. The only thing that Helen had said while out of range of Ben's hearing was that unless she said different or Ben actually talked to them Meg and Jude were to stay silent and put no matter what happened.

Bob's voice cut into the end of the nightmare loop and Ben managed to whisper with full feeling of the pain he felt "He's killed Meg."

Because Ben hadn't shown any other sign of knowing he was there Bob didn't know whether that heartfelt whisper had just escaped or was a response to his voice. He guessed it had something to do with Derek and Meg and the basement and gently reassured Ben. "No. Meg's here and safe, Ben." Then waited to see what would happen.

Ben heard the words but knew it wasn't true, how could it be … he could feel the gut-wrenching heartbreak … see Meg dead at his brother's feet and Derek was there laughing at him. And knowing why his twin did it whispered to the other voice. "I should not have fought him. I pushed him past the point where his love for Meg stopped him from killing her."

Bob said gently and firmly, "Ben its **Bob** … tell me where you are and what you see. **Trust me,** Derek is dead and everyone else is safe and Meg is alive." Bob knew Ben was caught up in a mixed up flashback or nightmare that was in a loop brought on by his fears as it didn't end that way. He knew the fact Ben was answering him meant the part that asked for him was still there … awake trying to get out of whatever he was in, which was good because that bit would be able to give him the information to lead Ben out of this loop … wake him and kill it forever ... bring him another step forward.

Ben heard the voice clearly this time and realised he was stuck in a nightmare … was not actually there … was somewhere else … and that made him calm down emotionally and step back from it but could not get out of it … it was still happening in front of him rather than too him and he said hoping Bob's voice would come again and guide him. "Derek, I and Meg are in the basement in Southern Avenue … Derek and I fought and Meg managed to pull him off me. He'd got a rope round my neck started to choke me … as soon as I found his weight gone I lunged for the gun and turned getting up ready to face and shoot him if necessary.

But he had Meg round the throat and body, threatened to break her neck if I didn't put the gun down on the floor in front of me and then step back... surrender to him completely. I knew I had to do it and hope that somehow something would be our salvation. In real life it was Meg who saved us … but here just after I put the gun down and am moving back he smiles and breaks her neck and laughs letting her body fall to the ground so it lands at his feet. … Each time it happens I feel the shock and gut wrenching heartbreak that I'm unable to save her and hope he'll kill me next … get my pain over now she's gone."

Hearing it Meg gripped Jude's arm as her anchor finding it difficult to keep quiet feeling her own memories of that night come back mix in with her own nightmare that Ben had been shot not Derek and knew the pain he was feeling and tried to concentrate on Bob's words to bring herself back to the present.

Jude stayed perfectly feeling Meg's grip and was shocked by what he was hearing and was glad the heartfelt hurt was out of the voice now it was just a level tone and expected to see Ben turn towards Bob for reassurance and would see them But he didn't move he just sat looking at the water so Jude concentrated on what was happening.

Tim and Helen though shocked were silently working through strategies both knowing that one part of Ben wanted this and Bob could cope with this.

Bob knew he had to break the cycle before it started again or at least put positive thoughts in there that would grow and break it for them. He also had to find out if it was a twisted flashback and put it right or if it a nightmare that Ben had had before and had now latched onto for some reason. He decided which to opt for hoping Ben could correct him if wrong and said gently but firmly. "The nightmare is over Ben, Meg is alive and your twin died … and you woke up where."

Ben stayed perfectly still looking straight ahead at the pond with the sun sparkling on the water but only saw what was in his mind. He understood Bob words and the cycle stopped just as Derek with Meg in his grasp was going to force him to put the gun on the floor and changed into where he'd had that nightmare and he said seeing and knowing what was happening. "At home … Ocean Drive ... Christmas Eve night. I found I couldn't sleep on the sofa downstairs … I kept falling off it, didn't want to try the floor, …too much like Seattle … so I reluctantly went up to the main bedroom … where he'd slept and could feel my brother's presence smothering me even more than it had downstairs … there was nothing of mine he hadn't touched ... tainted.

I showered and changed and eventually fell asleep on top of the covers and had the nightmare though it seemed so real at the time. I woke up suddenly in a state of shock thinking Meg was dead at his feet … his laughter in my ears and gradually realised it was a nightmare because I was alive … and I had killed him, Meg had save us and Benjy was my nephew.

I knew then I needed to get out of the house and Sunset Beach for all our sakes. I'd let Meg down … could not protect her as I should … she'd been in that position with Derek at the cabin and after that I'd vowed it wouldn't happen again … but it had.

If I was gone, there would be no future threats or reminders of him and she would be safe. I also knew now the truth was out … everyone no matter how hard they tried saw Derek not me at first glance or wondered how much of him was in me we were identical twins after all or pitied me for being kidnapped again.

Even Bette who is a close friend gave me 'that look' when I explained briefly what had happened and I needed her to look after Benjy while I spoke to Meg. When I came back Bette was uneasy and in a hurry to leave, whereas in the past she would have stayed and talked. If she couldn't how could I expect the others to accept me as they got used to the idea of what had happened and I came to terms with what I'd done?

I saw then that my plans to marry Meg at Michael and Vanessa's wedding were folly … pure selfishness and she would eventually hate me for pushing her into it. I would have been pushing her … she was vulnerable because of what had happened. Not only that, there were her parents' feelings to consider not disregard as I was going to by pulling the surprise on Christmas Day at the Mission.

True, it hinged on a lot of things being put in place so it might not have happened; the divorce which Charles assured me would be available … actually had to be decreed in time. The dress being there on time … I knew which one it would be, she chose it for our second attempt and I'd asked it to be kept on one side when it was cancelled … and her saying yes when I would see her at the Mission as she hadn't wanted to see me sooner. Of course I was going to ask Vanessa and Michael and Antonio as soon as Charles had got the divorce signed by the Judge, but in my thoughts that evening I could not see them saying no to my request.

It was all so one sided … all my wanting the yes … needing the yes from them … taking their day away from them and asking Meg in front of everyone, which would leave her little opportunity of saying no if that was her real wish.

I should have heeded her need for that night alone … understood what she was really saying … we needed time to sort things out … instead I planned things as if nothing had happened and ignored the fact that Bette felt uneasy in my presence and Maria could hardly face or talk to me either.

I did not blame Meg for wanting that time alone I had failed her … put her life in danger once again, what was more I had proved I was like my brother … I had taken a life ... my identical twin's life.

As I tossed clothes around the bedroom trying to find something that **he** had not worn … touched … tainted I knew I had to leave as soon as possible, **he** was too close. I had to find that child … that twin brother I'd loved before whatever turned him happened and tell him I was sorry and mourn his loss properly. Then perhaps I could return and start a new life with my soulmate if she wanted me ... if not then I would move on… somehow ... somewhere.

I had all ready agreed with Maria I would be out of the house before Benjy woke for both their sakes, which meant I wouldn't need to disturb her but I would leave her a note with the divorce papers waiting for the courier. She knew all about those and wanted it as much as I did so would deal with it from me. I'd originally thought of an early run along the shore possibly in Surf Central direction then come back and collect things after a phone call to make sure it was clear to do so if not then I'd wait on the beach till it was. But now I knew that would not work I would have to find a room and get new clothes and never return to the house again.

He paused suddenly finding himself in a dark void till he was filled with a needed to tell the voice what had happened earlier … found he knew it … could see it and could talk about it and carried on. "I had agreed to leave early … Benjy had hysterics after finding out I'd actually killed his father. …During the day I'd told him what had happened knowing people or kids would talk about … just not in graphic details and he'd accepted it and me in the way young children do. … But now he totally hated me and was angry with Maria and all he wanted were his real mummy and daddy and called for them ... cried from them. … In desperation to somehow calm him I went back to the lounge and looked under the Christmas tree at the presents and found one with Derek's writing on it. It was marked to Benjy love Mummy and Daddy with kisses I crept into Benjy's bedroom and gave it to Maria to give to him, she seemed to be managing to calm him just a little … just enough to take the next step anyway.

Knowing I would only do more harm if I stayed in the room I went back onto the landing so I could still see through the doorway and watched unwrap the present and saw it was a soft blue toy elephant. It brought a lump to my throat as it was one of those quirky impulse buys that I would have done in Derek's place, you know … you see rows of soft toys in a store and one stands out for no good reason but you get it and love it.

Benjy tearfully hugged it while listening to Maria … I could not hear what she was saying and I knew if I stayed any longer even half hidden they would … he would feel me there and that would start things up again. … Unable to face sleep I went downstairs and listened to some music..."

Seeing Ben shiver and stop Bob guessed the next bit would start the cycle with the nightmare in so said gently, surprised his voice didn't catch with emotion. "After the nightmare you got dressed and went downstairs were Maria and Benjy asleep then."

Ben sighed seeing it again knowing he'd moved passed the nightmare and was now walking across the landing to go downstairs and explained. "Benjy was in his room asleep tossing and turning but calling out for his mummy and daddy then yelling at me not to kill them. I knew I couldn't help him and reluctantly went to get Maria … though he needed her I was the last person she needed to see as well but he needed help and I needed to know he would get... not just walk on by without knowing.

Maria was in the studio room I had cleared her things from the main bedroom earlier in the day knowing she would find that difficult. Like Benjy's door it was open and as I passed the room before I got to Benjy's I noticed she was sleeping uneasily. She was getting up as I walked into the doorway, she'd no doubt heard Benjy's yell she put a hand to her mouth to stifle her own scream as she realised it was me and not Derek standing there and trying not to look at me ran to help Benjy saying she would deal with it.

Somehow I managed the stairs to the lounge and knew that before I left I needed **that** clean sheet if I was ever to face Meg again. I had to face writing about those months in the basement and the description of my Jailer. I hadn't during the day or evening to many shadows and other things to do now I had to face it.

He shivered violently feeling things go very hazy as a black hole in his memories came and went and then as thing became clear continued. "I knew Charles and Meg would be asleep so would not be able to dissuade me from doing what was right, they would hear the messages in the morning and I'd be gone by then. When I spoke to the answer machine at Surf Central I could feel Meg beside me and knew I could never truly leave her. I told my plans and I would return hopefully clean and whole and that I loved her … she was my anchor … my soulmate and if she still loved me I needed her to find our home for us as everything I touched seemed tainted. But if she needed her freedom she was to tell Charles and I would understand."

He shivered again violently as everything in his mind was cascading into darkness and heard Bob's concerned voice and reassuring words cut through it. "Ben its all right Meg's here and she loves you and found your new home. You've done work in the garden and liked it there."

Only one question loomed in Ben's mind now and he asked softly. "Benjy safe?"

Bob said gently. "Yes he's safe and so are you Ben."

Ben heard the words and everything in his mind tumbled into darkness and he became aware there was a pond in front of him and a voice had come from someone beside him so he turned that way to look at him.

When Ben turned his head Bob saw his vacant look and knew he'd closed down and asked gently with concern as to how far it had gone. "Do you know me Ben?"

Ben shook his head and looked round the garden and at the strange people who sat in a group on a blanket then back to the stranger beside him. There was nothing … he didn't know them or this place only that his name was Ben and he couldn't speak and he would wait.

oxoxo

Though shocked by it all Jude's mind had been turning over the fact that Ben should not have been left alone or even back in Ocean Drive that day his thought stopped and he shivered violently as Ben's blank gaze swept past him. In his work Jude had seen men stoned out of their minds by drink or drugs this was something different there was nothing there in the gaze is it went by and felt Meg shift beside him and knew it had to be worse for her she knew Ben… loved him. Feeling her grip on his arm lessen he guessed she was getting ready to go to Ben regardless of Helen's warning and couldn't blame her, he saw Helen's shake of head and serious look and put his hand on Meg's to stop her and give her some reassurance. But wasn't too sure who needed that reassurance the most out of the pair of them and kicked the calmer police officer side of his mind back into action to let the other side adjust to everything that was going on here.

Helen knew this was painful for Meg and was glad she'd warned her about nightmares when they'd talked and gardened, she also knew that Meg had to stay there and silent. Her touch or voice could shock Ben more than anything at the moment, because in his mind he was leaving her to mourn his brother's death the rest had happened. But they had to find out exactly where Ben was and that meant a gentle push that could be rejected … giving him another voice to follow … not Meg's not yet she would be her last resort.

She had no doubt he was a stranger to them and himself … but was he the one Bob had picked up on the cliff top or had he jumped to the silent traveller on the road on the road who was looking for something but didn't know what or even the one Antonio had seen on the beach the one or heaven forbid … he wasn't there at all … gone catatonic on them. She asked gently knowing Bob would take up the question if it was ignored. "Ben, are you hungry?"

Hearing a voice Ben looked in its direction and the woman who looked at him … she'd spoken his name so knew him … he shrugged then stilled thinking about her words that rang in his mind and understood them. Still keeping eye contact with her he realised yes he was a little hungry, though he couldn't remember when or what he'd eaten. Knowing he couldn't speak he raised one hand in front of him with his finger and thumb slightly apart as his answer to her question.

Helen gave a slight nod and smile; he'd accepted her voice, knew his name and understood her words and knew he was slightly hungry, was obviously silent but was back to basic sign language so was all good. His body language showed he didn't fear them but that was all and that was good, feeling her husband starting to get up she still concentrated on Ben and said very quietly so only Tim could hear. "Tea as well." Then added so Ben could hear. "I'm Helen, do you recognise me or my name."

Tim nodded and moved away quickly so as not to distract anyone.

Ben shrugged … the name meant nothing then because he knew somehow the man was going to get the food he turned his head and looked across the pond and garden. The others could see there was no interest or recognition in the look … they were just people and this was just a place to wait till food came and was not one he'd designed or help plant earlier.

Jude sighed almost silently and felt Meg's other hand on his and saw when he looked at her face there was a slight reassuring look not one of fear, which was strange but then he realised that she'd seen this before. … Well some of it not the nightmare talking bit ... the seeing someone you knew turn into a stranger not only to you but to themselves bit and **that** was meant to be a step forward! His mind churned the fact he found the whole thing creepy and technically he didn't know Ben he knew Derek being Ben and **hell** the whole thing was crazy … and all he could do was to sit and wait and hope … for what … that Ben would come back to them and would have to face the attack on the cliff top as well...

As she put her hand on Jude's hand hearing his sigh she hoped she could reassure him her mind was churning over everything… her own nightmare had vanished as soon as she'd told her parents about it so perhaps Ben's would now … she hoped so. Was sure must feel safe because he talked about it to Bob and let Helen's chat as they gardened earlier mix in with her many emotions now. She knew she had to accept all she'd done that night all those months ago … that it was gone and could never be undone and Ben was right she'd been in shock. The thing that amazed her was Helen's reading of Ben hearing it from her had excited her hearing it from Ben sent warm ripples down her spine. **Hell** she would have jumped with joy in the Mission and not regretted it ever and her friends would have said yes with big smiles. As for her father, he would have come round eventually he had after all been her main support all these months and would be in the future.

She silently cursed at how naïve she'd been to have thought Ben could get over killing his brother just like that … accept it because it had been the only way … and Derek's choice to reject Ben's help at the end. She should have known it would have hurt him … known it would have clouded the good things … that they were safe now … and felt a cold shiver go through her as her mind jumped.

It jumped to the snippet from Bob … that Ben got chucked over the cliff and he climbed up it … the horrors of the other cliff fall at the cabin flashed through her mind and she smashed them reassuring herself that Ben was here safe with them and now Bob and Helen were around she could wait it out... and he was coming back to them. Not only that by the way they were acting this was a step forward and it was **all** in the past … so if they can be calm about it so could she … he needed her to be calm … be his anchor … his soulmate and friend ... and she would be.

oxoxo

Knowing Ben would only eat a little Tim came back with a tray of two sandwiches and the drink of tea and handed them over to Ben.

Ben accepted it without a nod or any recognition and started eating when he'd finished he looked at the tea then shifted round and looking at Helen shivered and shook his head.

Knowing how important it was for him to drink Helen decided to try a gentle order and said. "You've not had a drink for a while Ben you need it."

Understanding her words Ben knew he wasn't going to drink it … couldn't drink it and handed her the tray and shook his head again.

In spite of the fact Ben's face was expressionless that shake of the head was a definite 'no' in anyone's language.

Helen accepted it and got up and took the tray knowing she couldn't push it again but wondered why he'd refused it ... he liked tea. He should have been thirsty, she was and watched him look round the group again hoping something had been triggered and waited.

Ben didn't feel frightened by the blank feeling that surrounded him nor did he feel curious about it but he did feel tired. He knew these people whoever they were … knew they were friends … no angry faces or fists ... knew they meant food and quiet. Most of all he knew he needed sleep and the lady who asked about food was not the lady who provided sleep. Glancing round the group again he found her and looked at her... didn't know her but nodded as he knew she was the one to ask.

Meg looked straight back at Ben trying hard to keep her feelings from showing saw him gave a slight nod and waited hoping he would speak. Instead she was him point to himself then cup his hands as if in pray and then put them beside his cheek, lean his head slightly as though they were a pillow and closed his eyes briefly then opened them still looking directly at her. Then he straightened up and though his blank gaze never left her he found his bag which was on the ground touching his leg and hitched it up to his shoulder and started to get ready to move.

Though she found his blank expression disturbing Meg couldn't help smiling the message was clear and innocent and said. "Yes Ben I can show you where your bed is." She got and then pointed talking clearly and slightly slow so he would have time to signal anything to stop her. "You've a mattress on the lawn … if you want a quick nap … or the bed in the chalet where you slept last night." Then as a thought crossed her mind added. "The bathroom is in the chalet or there is an outside loo by the far side of the shed."

Ben got up and nodded and waited for her as she walked round the others as they met he pointed first up the garden and then towards the chalet and started to walk.

She knew where he wanted to go and went with him careful not to get too close fearing to touch him and yet wanting to so much.

oxoxo

The others stayed silent and watched and when the couple were just outside the chalet bedroom they moved to the chairs and table ready to be close if need be. From there they watched the silent ritual as Ben slipped off his shoes and put them in his bag and wrapped the strap round his wrist before tucking himself up on the bed round the bag and allowing Meg to put the blanket over him and as soon as his head touched the pillow his eyes were closed and he was asleep.

Quietly and quickly Tim was at Meg's side and very carefully checked Bens' pulse then gently took hold of Meg's hand and lead her away saying softly. "He's okay pulse is steady and the baby alarm with tell us if he wakes and we will see him anyway as we will be at the table. Remember each time he wakes it's a step forward and we need to discuss this and what Jude and Bob found out."

Meg nodded and followed him but kept looking back at Ben when she reached the table and the others she voice her one of her thoughts. "Would he have done this today regardless?"

Helen put a cup of tea and a sandwich in front of Meg then took a small bite of her own, the action made Meg sit down and take her tea, Helen knew the others would do the same eating and talking would be good and said. "No he would have protected you as he would have done if you'd slept together Christmas Eve night. Meg, he would have talked about your nightmares not his because you are important to him. As for now he would have stayed as he did earlier today or when he's been with Antonio with the photos to help him remember the cycle. Now as he sleeps everything that's happened will be sorted out and when wakes he will react as he did this morning and we will hear the next part when he's ready.

For now though we'll eat, discuss and sleep while he's out of it though someone will be close to him at all times you Meg need to keep your distance. Touch him only at his request and you need to rest not fret."

Meg nodded and Bob butted in quickly. "I'll sleep in the chair it will be easiest for my knee and he seems to be programmed to my voice. I'm used to sleeping light so will wake when he moves."

Helen smiled nodded then carried on. "I've put a pillow and blanket there for you I also attached a radio mike to his bed the machine in the other room will pick up and record. We'll sleep downstairs in the lounge area rather than upstairs."

Bob smiled at his sister while Jude who'd been going over what Ben had been telling remembered something and said. "He's not right in what he said."

They all looked at him so he explained. "He said if he was to face Meg he had to write down what happened in Seattle and describe the jailer. Meg didn't find anything at Ocean Drive and nothing turned up in the post afterwards."

Thinking back Helen nodded then said. "He went hazy … so it could be a gap … didn't want to face that bit yet … perhaps he tried that night as well and couldn't … and can't face that added failure of it now. But there's a possibility he in fact drove to Castletown had another think wrote it and it was in the car when he was attacked so it's still with car or he posted it and it got lost in the post. Those four months would not have been easy for him so I could understand why he hid from them; he needed a counsellor to help him through it."

Bob butted in. "It would have been more difficult for him if the jailer had a home and job to go to when he was in Seattle."

Helen looked from her brother then to Jude and said. "Tell us, your thoughts and what you found on the cliff top so we can cover all bases and don't jump the way. Eat as well I'm guessing this is becoming a job on the run rather than a slow case to fill in time."

Jude smiled feeling her words were true and knew Ben was in good hands and knowing Bob would butt in where necessary started to tell them what happened.


	45. Chapter 45

**Chapter 45 **

In their office at the police station Patrick and Ricardo this case was growing in importance and pace **and** they were going cross eyed and drowning in numbers and information. All the bits and pieces they'd asked for earlier was coming in thick and fast … piling up … trouble was some was on paper and others on the computer so they couldn't just key in what they wanted each time and let the machine take all the strain. **Oh no** … it was the old fashioned slog of checking numbers and information looking for that connection that would rule people in or out of the Seattle kidnapping, as well as making up the profiles which would be put on the computer for future use ... make it easier for the next round. **True** … they were finding a few interesting little nuggets or pointers that might be something … but they couldn't tell yet as they still had that other pile to go through … and then there were the rushes of finding something only to have that low of disappointment when it turned out to be just an everyday utility or common shop or legal payment and not a link to the Jailer who ever he might be. They also knew if it became a case it would the Seattle guys who would make that final arrest if it came to it.

It didn't help their concentration either when Paul stormed in ranting and raving turning the air blue … the computer that was turning Helen's sketch into a human photo and was nearing the end of its job had frozen and crashed. At their looks he'd admitted he'd been good … not thrown the damn thing out window a) it wouldn't fit through it b) it was on the ground floor anyway and the saving grace …well it had all the other information on it. **So** he'd walked out to rant and rave at them as no one else was meant to know what was going on. Yeah some hope … police stations could keep secrets from the outside world but not within … no matter what Jude thought … As Paul started to calm down by pacing the floor and talking technical babble at them rather than to them he realised that he might just possibly not have to actually go back to very beginning of the programme so he went back to cuddle it.

Watching him go Patrick and Ricardo knew that once it was cuddled and started again Paul would be on the hunt for their computers as there was bound to be more information for them to check through. So when the phone rang and they found out that the manager of the garage where Ben had his car from was back there they 'legged it' out of the office very quickly.

Feeling a bit like two school kids being let out of school they got as far as Desk Sergeant to hand in the key and check out when the police officer from the garden centre came in bringing interesting goodies and information. Patrick and Ricardo weren't fools so they quickly checked through Jude's short report with rising interest and troubling thoughts, knew the photos would take an hour so they could go out and come back then look through and file them… would be able to discuss them if Jude rang once he got the other copies. The cartridge cases and handcuffs would be checked for finger prints, though it would be a very long shot due to time and exposure but then again the officer and his gizmo could do wonders … sometimes. As for the handcuffs they could see in spite of the dirt they were not the fun kind they were the official kind.

So as they handed the stuff back so it could be taken to the science lads then walked out the station to Ricardo's car they'd lost that 'school boys being let free' feeling. Instead they felt that pull of curiosity and knew without a shadow of a doubt **that **pile back in their office was going to be bigger when they returned. After all, some of the cartridge cases were special ones so clubs and manufacturers would have to be quietly checked out for common names or a new one that would start them on another paper trail. As for the handcuffs well as they could be official ones… they might have a number or mark, which would have to be checked out … as they were on the cliff top it meant someone had lost them … accidental or by force if the latter then they could be looking into another case as well as this so called back ground case.

oxoxo

Having discussed what they'd just found out and got no where but speculation Ricardo parked the car on the garage forecourt. They got and were wondering whether to try the office or the garage part when the owner got up from behind a car he'd been working on and walked over to them wiping his hands on a cloth.

Remembering Patrick from his earlier visit with the family Angus said warmly. "Ricardo and the FBI man … I trust the trailer is all right."

Patrick smiled at the use of his title and said. "Fine thanks, have you been in touch yet?"

Angus laughed which brought out his soft Scottish American accent as he spoke. "Oh yes. And once I mentioned the FBI accompanied the family here they moved … the manager concerned is being investigated and the main firm will pick up the campervan tomorrow morning. The other one is on the house so as to speak rather than a loan till things were sorted, so no worries for family." Then looking the men up and down added. "**So**, who's the boss between you two then?"

As Ricardo smiled but stayed silent Patrick realised this might be a serious question rather than friendly banter over Ricardo's new status as he was wearing his official jacket and the box of tricks was in the car, he was getting the man trained never to leave them behind and said. "We are partners he's my local police CSI officer and guide and I'm the arresting part, anything we do then goes through Jude who is my boss at the moment though I can pull full FBI status if needs be, why."

Angus made up his mind and looking at Patrick saying. "Okay then this is for you and you can decide what should be done, though Ricardo might want to step back from it completely."

Patrick and Ricardo nodded they understood the terms and waited wondering what they'd innocently stepped into now.

Knowing Ricardo as a friend Angus knew he was treading on dangerous ground he kept an eye on the man and eased into the subject saying. "Maria and Rodney Peters brought in a car …well … sorta … it conked out just outside the entrance and to be honest it looked and sounded well past its best. They looked around and saw something they liked … which was just as well otherwise it would have been a taxi or walk home possibly a flight back to Seattle. As they discussed the car it was clear to me it was his choice rather than hers though she was happy with it and paid for it. The price included the usual bits and pieces and they didn't quibble over it at all which made a nice change. I've been cautious about payment since someone drove off giving me a cheque that bounced later, so even though I know her and her history I rang the bank and got a guarantee of clearance straight away. Rodney told me I could have the old car for scrap, it wasn't the first time this weird fault stopped it. He didn't want a dime for it just reassurance it would not go out on the road again so I said fine I would scrap it … I didn't say when or that I might take to pieces for parts rather than having it squashed locally."

As Angus talked he lead them round to a covered area at the back of the premises where a couple of other cars and towing lorry were kept. Ricardo recognised the car in question and saw it had been partially cleaned and had its bonnet up, as he'd listened to Angus his thoughts had been racing in two direction neither of them good ones and didn't know which one he preferred.

Stopping beside the car Angus explained with a sigh. "Well, me being me I decided to have a look at this fault … Hell, all electrics but the radio cutting out while going along was dangerous. I couldn't remember any warnings from the makers but then this was **not** a new car … even so they needed to be told if it happened."

At the others' looks he added. "I know better than go crying to the makers with half stories … some people **do** make honest mistakes when relating what happens in a car when things go wrong … and I do know dirt in the wrong place can do odd things to a car as well. As he'd not mentioned an insurance claim or wanted a dime for it and I knew Maria's reputation… family **and** she knows I'm no mug where cars are concerned I ruled out a con-job... you take those to the one the other side town. So, as I had a few minutes last night and this morning before I had a call out I looked and tinkered with it … **and** this is a **very** nice car in ukky clothing as opposed to a **dirty** **old** banger."

He looked at his listeners and saw they understood what he meant and pointed to the clean area as he spoke. "See how well the wing has come up it's the same with the engine; I had to clean some of it so I could work on it to find the so called fault. Curious I cleaned the wing then checked the usual rust areas and there was no rust … under the grime she's been cared for. As for the noisy engine I heard … after a couple of turns on bits and pieces she is quiet and really smooth though I've not driven her and to be honest I'd love to have this old girl if she was legal."

Ricardo and Patrick looked at him knowing this was the crunch the bit Angus was leading up and let him carry on both hearing a genuine sigh of regret in his tone. "The engine number has been altered by someone who knows what they are doing and this fault is … well … I don't think it's possible … not in the form I saw it yesterday anyway."

Patrick and Ricardo looked at each other and then with a brief nod of acceptance Patrick went off with Angus to have a quick look.

Ricardo knew he had to step back on this so watched them and his policeman's gut was screaming at him he'd been right in not trusting Rodney. As for his brotherly instincts … they were going into overdrive swearing if this was true and Rodney was rotten … he Ricardo would have every man Maria ever looked at again checked out or better still make her stay with his brother at the Mission … as a nun preferably forever.

oxoxo

It didn't take them long and Patrick knew he needed clarification and wanted to let Ricardo know what was on his mind and said quietly to Angus. "So you think a garage in Seattle was playing fast and lose with them or he is."

Angus looked at Ricardo but kept silent weighing up his words carefully knowing the implications.

Ricardo understood his caution and having had other thoughts said to Patrick knowing Angus would not say anything to anyone outside this group. "Do you suppose that's why he was twitchy this morning when I saw them? He thought I had found out about the car being 'hot'. He was planning to get rid of it down here anyway; Maria buying a new one for him would be a good cover when he got back home. He came out with the story that the fault had already happened in the past as he was going to give that one to Maria anyway."

Patrick knew Ricardo was putting a lot in the open and realised he trusted the man and asked Angus. "Would a garage do that type of fault though?" knowing it would open the discussion up.

Relieved he would not to have actually to accuse anyone laughed and said "Yes it could be a rogue garage needing the repeat custom only this time they did it too far. The other times it might have flicked off and come back on again without the car actually dying on them or being a danger. But to be honest driving knowing that fault was likely if what Ricardo saying is right is really risky as you wouldn't know when it would happen. If he said it happened before well he should have touched the repairing garage with a barge pool again. Hell I wouldn't touch the car till I had proof it wouldn't do it again."

He looked at Ricardo and added. "To be honest I can't see how this fault just occurred … someone had to know how to do it … be shown how to fix and unfix it …if you see what I mean. From what was said between them he was the only one who'd seen the fault up until it conked out here and it didn't start again for me so I pushed it into the back area out the way. Though I had not looked at the fault then I did reassure Maria that kind of thing could not happen with their new car, the wiring is different. Now don't take this the wrong way but sometimes if a couple are trying to pull 'a fast one' you can sense it … get a feeling of the jitters between them or double checking between them as you all go round the car. I didn't get anything like that them, he didn't hide the fact he knew about cars said he only knew them from a driving point of view rather than a mechanic. So he might have been shown how to do it… but then again there is always the first time for everything so it could be genuine.

There is something else and it's in the trunk didn't see it till this morning and that made it me stop tinkering or cleaning the car any further. I was going to call Jude but I got busy and called out then when I got back I had this cagey message about police officers wanting to see me face to face I decided to wait till I saw whoever came over and you two appeared so I'll show you."

They quickly went to the rear of the car and Angus opened the trunk carefully and they looked in as he said. "There's grey/white powder in the corner by the right rear lights." He left the rest unsaid not wanting to tread on Ricardo's toes even more.

Ricardo saw it and his mind whirled - he knew Angus was honest and cared about people and cars, not only that the police had their cars here and used his knowledge on cases, though that was kept quiet. Looking at the small amount of powder he knew what that usually meant but also this time there was another possibility and guessed Rodney missed it when he took anything that was in there out and wondered why he'd chosen an honest dealer to get rid of the car.

As he stepped away from the car he realised Rodney might not have had a choice, he'd used the fault as part of the cover for being seem at the rear of the Mission, knew Jude might call the car in to be checked over. Seemed a bit of an overkill to have a new one and this one crushed, but then Maria hearing about the fault wouldn't want to travel far in it so he would have to replace before driving back to Seattle. She had money due to Ben's investments and they didn't know what money he's got and they might have more time here than back home and she would know this was a trusted garage. Of course once the car was off his hands anything found could be dropped on the garage's head by the simple quote 'it was clean when it left me Sir they must have put it there'. And to give credence to his story he had it conk out at the garage … it would be interesting to know if Maria chose the garage or if he put a pin in the map and assumed they would get rid of the car without question.

From their brief chat he knew Maria had a small run about at home so this was Rodney's car more than hers. … So … the fault and grime could be a cover …at certain times it became a smooth clean get-a-way car or a smart drug dealer's car then once the drop etc had taken place it would revert back to dirty noisy old banger with a problem. … **Hell** Talk about jumping out of the frying pan into the damn fire.

Patrick looked Ricardo and could see his mind working and knew they didn't need this they had their own ever expanding investigation. Not only that this one drugs or not was way too close to home for Ricardo and sighed, saying. "Okay, as Ricardo's out of this one I'll process the bits we might lose in travelling and then seal it to go. We'll cover it and have it round the back of the station and store it. We'll check the car and engine numbers see if anything comes up and analyse the powder though I doubt anything will come of it other than information. Then if there's anything we'll tell Jude when he calls in, Angus, we need it done very quietly no one is being accused of anything. I'll let you know what the substance is, there's a good possibility its from firecrackers rather than drugs but that's another story I'm not at liberty to tell you."

Angus nodded glad they weren't angry and were taking him seriously and said. "When you finished take the bonnet down and press the green button on the side of the pillar that will raise the car and it can then be pulled on to the lorry and covered with a tarpaulin, I'll drive it round for you."

Patrick nodded and started to go back to their car to raid Ricardo's box of tricks and working out exactly how much he would do here.

As Ricardo showed no sign of moving Angus asked. "So what needs face to face discussion nothing to do with Ben I hope?"

Ricardo smiled and admitted. "Actual it is."

Now Angus was concerned and said. "Is he okay? There are so many stories going around."

Ricardo knew he could not say too much. "He's in good hands; but we need to know if he had a tracking device fitted to his car."

Angus smiled trusting Ricardo's word and answered. "Yes he did but I'll need his say so or a warrant to use it as he's not missing. He wanted it kept between the pair of us and told me that if ever he or Meg went missing I was to go to you or the chief of the police and tell them which company has the gizmo and **I** was then to drive whoever uses it. That bit written down by the way not just made up. Meg's car has one as well but he told me not to tell her." He sighed and said. "He was never declared missing. Is it true he's no memory and been on the road all this time broke down just after he left us."

Ricardo looked at him and said "Sorry I can't say anything about him other than he's in good hands now."

As they walked across the yard to the office Angus nodded and gave a little huff reckoning if they were hunting for the car the rumours were likely to be true and asked. "So you think the car might be nearby?"

Ricardo smiled at the hope of more information from him and said. "No idea, we just wanted to know if there was one and now we've got something we can use if Ben gives us an idea of where to start looking if not the exact address. Will Milly saying anything?"

Angus smiled and knew Milly would not take offence if she ever heard his comment. "No she's deaf and dumb when needs to be. Lets get things rolling as it will take time to contact the company and you've got to get a tame Judge to get the warrant."

Ricardo nodded and said "We've already got one of those so that bit should be easy."

Angus gave him a look then opened the door into the offices and as Milly looked up said to her. "I'm not here if anyone calls I'm dealing with an important buyer and I'm taking the car to be scraped later. In real life I'm in my office thumbing through records."

She smiled and nodded and went back to her work.


	46. Chapter 46

**Chapter 46**

At the garden centre the group had finished exchanging views and eating when Bob knew he needed to walk … he'd been sat at the table too long. It wasn't because of his knee it was just him and mental thing ... couldn't keep still as a child hardly better as an adult. Unless he was mugging up on a subject, in a debriefing with his boss or 'the need' required it then he could be totally still and quiet for hours … as long as it took. But now the chatting had finished and there wasn't any danger he needed to move around … fidget or just check the boundaries and well relax by walking, in spite of his knee. Seeing the stillness in the man beside him he asked quietly "Okay Jude?"

Hearing his name Jude looked at him and realised he'd zoned out and had been caught so admitted honestly, realising you couldn't fool any of this group let alone Bob. "Sorta, I don't know … seeing him turn like that is disconcerting to say the least … **and** it keeps going round my mind that I don't know him I know Derek being him." He gave a sigh not wanting to go down that track again and added. "Never seen a nightmare being talked through like either … then there's the Seattle business and what might have happened on the cliff top … the whole thing seems to be throwing up more questions than answers … It's all so confusing… twisted and yet extremely fascinating … the list of feelings about it is endless."

Helen gave a slight smile and said quietly. "And just like any other case we will get the answers eventually. You don't need to rush things because you know Ben is here, well looked after so take a step at a time."

Jude nodded knowing it was sound advice … one he would give someone else in a case and like everything else with this group it was given with friendship and trust.

Knowing he couldn't add anything else Bob said quietly looking at his sister. "Need to walk." and sorted his crutches then got up and as he moved away from the chair he glanced over to what he could see of the sleeping figure then back to Meg and smiled. Having talked to her, seen how she was coping with everything he understood how and why Ben loved her and used her as anchor in Seattle and subconsciously on the road, and left the group. Walking slowly along the flat area he knew his sister would explain 'he was a cat on hot bricks' if anyone asked. And also understood Jude's feelings … this was a weird and interesting case, and painful because it concerned someone's life being threatened … nearly taken if they'd read the situation right. And wondered which Ben would come out of it … because no matter what anyone said this had to be having an affect on him and hoped it would be the sound confident one he had read about... and seen as shadow of at the farm…

oxoxo

Meg smiled back at Bob she couldn't help it, it was a warm genuine smile and then sighed as he left and her thoughts churned onwards … she hadn't liked any of their thoughts about the attack and the climb up the cliff in the dark Christmas night or very early on the 26 … but knew they must have happened in one form or other. Once he'd got to the top what did he find …an empty road with no idea which way to go and too hurt or tired to carry on … and scared the person would come back and kill him or harries her or Benjy.

It brought back the memories of the other cliff fight and fall at the cabin and how she'd been terrified he'd died or was badly hurt couldn't get back up … could not be rescued … then she'd heard the noise of someone trying to climb back up. Then she had that horrible uncertainty not knowing which one it was … and the thoughts what to do if it wasn't Ben knowing full well she wouldn't know till she actually touched his hand … and that could be too late if it was Derek not Ben. She'd felt that rush of relief as she found out it was Ben but then she'd been scared she hadn't enough strength to help him make that final effort …would lose him again … hear him fall again … but he'd made it and then they'd hugged each other knowing they were safe and yet fearing Derek might come because Ben had made it.

Had he remembered that one … did they intertwine as he climbed that night … and had he hoped she was there waiting for him … and she wasn't …no one was. So he would have been all alone…

Seeing a shiver run through Meg and knowing some of her fears Helen said gently to reassure her and get her back to here and now. "He'll wake when ready don't worry."

Meg's mind jumped to that thought, and unconsciously running her fingers through her long black hair moving it away from her face showing everyone just how anxious she really was as she asked. "This time maybe, but next time when he remembers more … then what?" still feeling the guilt that she'd not been there for him and believing things were going to get worse as they got closer to the attack wherever it took place.

Helen knew she had to be honest; they'd been with him through the afternoon and a nightmare session … and there would be more … so no cover ups were allowed now and said. "If the worst comes to the worst and he doesn't wake up and gets into difficulty we'll bring the hospital here. Tyus has told me we can have the emergency wagon, that has monitors and oxygen etc and we can bring in experienced private nurses. Tim and I can cope till they come and we oversee them. Then we wait it out for as long as it takes Meg.

I've the number on fast dial and they've got our number for instant recognition though they think we are at the Mission, we'll tell them where we are and police will clear the roads for them if needs be.

I doubt that will be necessary his pattern all the way through this has been to wake up and face the next day even if he didn't consciously know it or remember the day before. We will be with him when he wakes and give him the pointers so he can remember and adjust to things … his pace not ours."

She put a hand on Meg's and added. "I can't say he'll remember everything or it will be easy but he'll have the best treatment he can get, in the surroundings he is comfortable in and he's got a strong 'will' conscious or subconscious. Remember he started when he met Antonio and asked for Bob before this session so he wants it … he wants to come back and you being here is a good thing because he knows you are safe and he trusted you to …"

The noise of rustling bedclothes from the monitor on the table silenced Helen and stilled the others.

oxoxo

Bob had walked towards the bedroom as it was nice and flat so was close enough to watch Ben move on the bed and heard the muffled words. "I don't deserve her love… … put her in again danger by going there ... … should have stayed hidden … … no … he'll be at risk."

He went over and sat on the chair they'd put near the bed going over the words making sure he'd heard them and not to put his own thoughts on them and watched several violent shivers go through Ben after which he lay still again.

Just as Bob was going to look away to see if the others were coming over Ben stirred again disturbing the covering blanket even more and saying. "I need air … … I'll be back in a moment … yes tea might be a good idea, settle us both." He had his eyes closed and did not make any move to get up just lay there.

From the tired but calm tone of Ben's voice Bob knew he must be talking to someone in his dream or nightmare or possibly flashback, this was not the muffled uncertain tone of the first mutterings so it could be something different. Then he caught Ben's edgy whisper. "Can't go through the nightmare again." and wondered if Ben was split even in his nightmares and one part of him wanted out of this one. If so he might be able to talk Ben through it or out it because he reacted to his voice earlier.

He knew everything was being picked by the tape machine in the other room and the monitor on the table. They'd put a special mike on the headboard earlier so they would be able to work through all this later if need be. Hoping his voice would help Ben concentrate on one side of whatever was going on said softly but firmly. "Ben, its Bob let me help you. Tell me where you are and what's happening."

To Bob's surprise Ben opened his eyes and looking straight at him, sat up swinging his legs down from under the blanket and clutched his bag on his lap. The blanket though slightly tangled pooled around him and Bob could tell Ben wasn't with him or seeing him so repeated his words again and waited to see what would happen. He also relaxed a bit seeing Tim slip quietly into the bedroom via the other door and put his medical bag on the bed and reckoned the others were outside nearby silently watching. His safety net should things go wrong.

oxoxo

Within his troubled mind Ben had heard the voice and knew it wasn't part of what was going on around him. He had this feeling he'd promised to tell and could talk to that voice, but at the moment all he could see and feel was the familiar lounge at Ocean Drive and Maria was nearby tired and anxious. And he knew he really didn't want this again whatever it was and said to the voice "Don't want this nightmare again." hoping he could be pulled out of it.

Bob heard the plea and wondered if Ben was back in the nightmare about Derek and Meg and hoped it could be stopped. He knew it could do more harm than good if he woke Ben sharply and said gently hoping it would give Ben a gentler way out. "Ben you are safe, the people you love are safe. We can break the cycle if you listen to my voice and tell me what is happening around you and I can talk back to you."

Hearing the voice again Ben sighed and found himself mentally stepping back a bit from what was around him but he could not get out of it. But he did now knew he could talk to that voice and it answered back, it wasn't another nightmare crowding in on this one and said. "Lounge, Ocean Drive with Maria… I'd finished my phone calls and dealt with things I didn't want to face earlier. … Maria's come down the stairs having settled Benjy, we managed a few words and I know I have to leave now not later and not come back again. I need air and she suggested a cup of tea, I know in spite of the tension between us we need to leave on an even note. They both deserve that even if Benjy can't stand me at the moment.

I am ready to leave though, I have put the money Derek left in a small travelling bag along with a couple of books I know and love and will help me through this time. The money is in mixed bills that are used everyday but there are too many to carry in my pocket without asking for trouble. The bag will stay in the car or hotel and then if I need more I will use my card but I doubt if I will be gone that long this time."

The things around him started to move again and he carried on watching and talking to the voice as they happened. "I put my jacket on and go over towards the glass doors I'm going out onto the beach or just the decking not sure which. I need to get out of this room for a moment and clear my head but I don't want to meet people if they should be on the beach. The past months and his ghost are all around me again in spite of the music I had put on as background to keep them at bay... I expect he'd played that music too.

I assumed Maria had gone to get the tea but she's near me, she's going to make sure the glass doors stay slightly ajar as they can be awkward sometimes and having been away and anxious to get out might not get them right. She has a point and my banging to get back in would cause a disturbance and wake Benjy … neither of us wants that, he's been through enough … we've been through enough. … I pull one of the doors back and step into the doorway to go onto the decking but I'm met by a dark figure…"

Ben shivered violently - he was back in the nightmare seeing the man in front of him, the hands raised in a threat towards him and feeling the shock of it all freezing him.

Seeing the violent reaction and not knowing if this was memory or nightmare but guessing Ben needed reassurance or a nudge Bob said quickly and calmly. "**Ben** it's all right … everyone is okay, you are okay. You are dreaming and telling me what you see you are **not** there."

Hearing the voice and the words Ben nodded though the pictures still continued and he could feel the hard shove that sent him flying back into the lounge area and the air being knocked out of his lungs as he landed awkwardly on the floor and managed to whisper breathlessly. "He pushes me … back into the lounge area … so I land hard on the lower floor … have difficulty getting back up. … While trying to get up and my head round who I've seen … I hear Maria's muffled gasps and struggling movements along with a quiet male sharp command "Silence!"

Hoping to stop Ben's continual little shivers and distress Bob asked gently. "You are not there Ben but do you know the man's name?"

Ben fought through the nightmare and into something that kept closing down on him and whispered the name "Pedro" as it came and went. Then he was back with the nightmare hearing the man's voice, knowing he should have prevented this happening by facing this demon earlier and said quickly hoping the voice can end this for him. "The **Jailer** has Maria in front of him, holding one arm round her waist so it traps her arms; in the other he has a gun and the barrel is pointing to the side of her head his finger on the trigger. She is petrified and so am I, for **all** our lives."

Bob was shocked at the implications of this nightmare but he managed to say gently firmly and slowly. "Ben it's alright, everyone is safe."

Ben shivered violently feeling trapped in the sequence of events knowing he has to tell the voice what he sees and hopes he can keep them safe and says. "He tells me … us to be quiet and do what he says or he will kill Maria, injury me so I will see Benjy die before dying myself.

He wants the final payment that Derek didn't give him and then he will leave and never be seen or heard of again. If I tell the police or anyone comes after him in any way in the future he will return and kill Maria then Benjy and let me live with the guilt of their deaths. It will be his timing not mine. My mind is freezing up at his words. He is as he was in the basement disguised so I don't know him but I know he hates me and will kill without remorse so no one is safe.

I tell him how much is in the bag and he can take that and leave, the police don't know about him yet. He laughs says he'd been promised more by Derek and wasn't afraid of the police he'd been in town all day tells me where I've been with Benjy. Then he asks where I'd like him to shot Maria so I understand he is serious.

I tell him not to as my mind is slow in taking it in. I know if I give him the card number and he clears it the police or bank would be alerted. But while I'm thinking he says the card would be useless he'll take a back dated cheque … the stub made out to a charity or something that people would not be surprised by a large amount. I'm to write the amount in and sign the cheque then he will fill the name in later and get it cashed. If it bounces for any reason he will come back and carry out his threat. I'm not to try to trace it afterwards and if anyone asks about the amount not being paid to the charity then I'm to say it got lost in the post and pay the amount … make the noise go away. He says I will know he's kept his end of the deal by the fact we are all alive.

I tell him that it will be for twenty five thousand dollars any more will bring questions. He's okay with that. I know the cheque book is in the desk and not in the study so I have no choice I have to write it there and then. I don't know if I can trust him and pray I will find a way of keeping Maria and Benjy alive if not myself.

The jailer has edged Maria so they are hidden from outside but he can still use doorway as an escape route without my getting too close to him. I put the signed cheque in the bag with the cash and my books and push it nearer the open doorway. As there's no chance for action without harming Maria … I make sure he can see I'm no threat … he tells me to walk back to the lower level and kneel down with my hands on my head and look down at the floor not at him. … I have no choice but to do it … and wait for the end for one or two of us. … … The next thing I know Maria's body falling on top of me and we collapse in a heap on the floor. … … By the time … we untangle … and get up … he's gone … he didn't kill us … he is really gone … Maria is hysterical … I'm extremely shaky …. I can't… I'm ... sorry …" His voice petered as out everything around him dissolved into darkness.

Ben's voice had been shaking as badly as his body was as he related the last part so Bob moved as fast as he could to get to Ben, realising he was shutting down … it was too much for him and he was now trying to do the reverse movement back up onto the bed so he would be curled up round his bag and a sleep … as if this had not happened.

Bob gently guided the man back down easing the blanket and bag out of the way or in position as well as gently reassuring him. "Ben it's alright, they are safe … you saved them by doing what you were told… it's all right."

He could only hope Ben heard him and understood him because as soon as Ben's head touched the pillow his eyes were close and his shivering and breathing eased. He also hoped Ben had gone peacefully into his sleep and had not begun that particular nightmare again and straightened the blanket covering the man.

Hearing the distress the man was in Tim moved quickly to joined Bob and checked Ben's breathing and pulse ready to move away should there be an adverse reaction to his touch. Finding it all good Tim gave a nod and a slight smile to his brother in law and gave him silent shooing motions with his hands. … This was his patient now he could go and talk with the others.

With relief washing through him Bob nodded his acceptance of the dismissal knowing his brother in law would look after Ben and grabbed his crutches and made his way to the other knowing things needed to be talked through. As he walked coming to grips with things he hoped this was a nightmare brought on by fear of what could happen and not what did happen … that would be too awful and would knock their present thoughts on the head… out the window and down the hill….

oxoxo

With an arm round Meg's shoulders Helen slowly guided her back to the table they'd been a few moments ago … it hadn't taken long even though it seemed a lifetime. They'd moved close enough to hear and see but not enough for Meg to get to Ben as she'd threatened to do as soon as the jailer had been mentioned. Helen had quickly put her arms around her shoulders and her tucked in close to her as Meg shivered hearing Ben's words. Now she needed to reassure Meg as she could hear the guilt ridden mumblings - that it was all her fault … she should not have let him go back to Ocean Drive that night … she didn't know why she needed time alone that night.

Following them Jude though horrified had the burning question running round his mind so asked it quietly. "Could the Jailer have really done that or was it just a proper nightmare brought on by his earlier one."

Bob joined them and looked at Helen for advice, she stayed silent so he gave a nod so she would know things were okay and said. "I heard the whispered words 'Can't go through the nightmare again' and I'm wondering if he was caught in a nightmare loop been through it once already and this time we witnessed it because it was stronger and because of the earlier session he was hunting for my voice to help him get out of it. He was definitely there **in** his nightmare, though he did seem to manage to step back when he heard my voice. But it was powerful enough to draw him back in again at times. It doesn't fit what we've been told … **Hell** he can't have met damn jailer twice!" and shivered now he'd said it.

Helen nodded suppressing her own shudder and said to Meg who'd stopped her mumbling and was starting to take notice. "Meg, what you did that night was right at the time … you needed the space to come to Ben clear of what had happened. Don't fret over that it's over and done with. Ben's going to need you to be the positive young woman you've been so far when he wakes. Think about how you felt when you worked on the garden together and that this could just be his mind working things through."

Meg gulped in air and nodded hoping Helen's words would sink in her stunned … frightened mind. Seeing her nod Helen gently pushed her into the seat then sat down besides her and seeing Jude take the other one she asked her brother. "What did he say at the beginning it was very muffled through the monitor?"

Bob sighed getting his thoughts back together again and sat down leaning the crutches against his chair then said. "They were mumbled as well, he seemed to be arguing with himself or someone else … don't know which. But he was talking to Maria at the beginning of his nightmare or whatever it was we just heard. Ben shivered violently between the two so they are most probably two different things. We know he's done that when awake so it's not surprising if he does it in his sleep.

The mumbled words sounded like. 'I don't deserve her love'… then a gap as though he was listening to some one else then continued … 'put her in again danger by going there' …then another gap ... 'should have stayed hidden' … then a gap … 'no' … a very short gap then … 'he'll be at risk'. After that he shivered violently twice.

I can only speculate that the 'her' in this case could be Meg or Maria or even Betsy she was hurt though it was not his fault … we'll have to wait and see if anything comes of it… of course it might all be forgotten. As for the 'he'll be at risk' … well he's been worried about Benjy on and off all the way through and he's got no solid proof that Benjy is safe. Meg's here so he knows she's safe." He gave a sigh and added. "But we shouldn't second guess this it could be just him checking things out with himself. I don't see why we can't go through this nightmare thing after all we might need to discuss it with him when he wakes but we must not forget we are only hearing one side of it."

Helen and Jude nodded, Meg who was just about managing to get things in order in her mind and had got hold of the one thing she was sure of, and though her voice trembled said. "He wouldn't have left Maria and Benjy by themselves if it had happened."

Helen nodded then asked gently. "Meg you know him better than we do, did he ever force you to do something you didn't want to or force his ideas on you?"

She looked at them and thought then said quietly. "No, if he had Maria would not have stayed at Ocean Drive and I expect he and Dad would have argued more. He went with what I wanted or he thought was best for me rather than what was best for him. But he did like to give me surprises and those were all his ideas. I'm sure he would not have left them alone he would have called Antonio at least. But surely Maria wouldn't have felt safe afterwards nor hidden such an experience ... she wasn't strong enough to.

In any case she said she never spoke to Ben after she settled Benjy, she said she heard music from downstairs and left Ben to it and took a mild sleeping pill Dr Estrada had given her months ago. She wasn't expecting Ben to go till early morning after the documents had been collected."

Helen nodded looked round the group thinking things through and said. "It does seem likely that it is his mind picking up things and grouping them together, knocking them around till the right one comes along. They become nightmares when they disturb him because they are wrong and they are forgotten on waking, right ones are most probably pushed to the back of his mind ready for the next stage. When they are eventually remembered they are then put in the right order with others.

I suspect it's been happening all the time only the fragments were too small to mean anything now they are bigger they mean something. Also the barrier of not being able to speak is going down so he's speaking even in his sleep, which means we hear what's going on, so it disturbs us. He is feeling safe and secure … he's with the people he's been looking for and trusts. Antonio started the sequence off when he found him, you above all Meg because he loves you and Bob because of his voice which he somehow realises is not part of his nightmares or that troubled time.

We'll have to see what happens when he remembers his time at the farm and Bob is part of them though they should only come forward as dreams not nightmares as they were a quiet time for him. I suspect when he wakes he will be silent and might need to garden as that seems to help him sort things out and will possibly bring them forward."

Helen paused for a moment bringing the other idea in and carried on. "If you consider what happened earlier he's remembered Meg being threatened by Derek in the basement at Southern Avenue. In real life he had to back down then and hope she got the chance to break free from Derek's grasp or he might get another chance to save them. She broke free and he in the struggle for the gun shot Derek. That threat died and is gone forever."

She looked from Meg to Jude and checked. "Ben never gave a detailed description of the jailer did he?"

Jude shook his head and Meg thought back to Ben's words in the nightmare and said. "No but just now he said he'd dealt with everything he could not face earlier, so surely it should have been there if it happened and this was a memory."

Helen hearing the slight panic in Meg's voice said. "Not necessarily it could be it is part memory and part nightmare, could be his mind is picking up things he failed to do and is twisting them a bit till he gets it right. He mentioned about a cheque perhaps sometime during Christmas Eve he had an idea about how the jailer was paid but it got pushed into the back of his mind. He was looking after Benjy, and he might not have been able to face the police either. The fact he never got round to telling anyone is another negative point in his mind. It might also just be a thought running through his mind and there is no such link." She sighed and carried on. "I don't know if it's worth looking through the cheque stubs to see if something is out of place or there's one to a charity and follow it up Jude."

Jude said thinking back. "We didn't find anything unusual when we checked regarding payments, I don't think it will do any harm to go through them again Ricardo's got the information back at the station."

Helen nodded and carried on. "It's along shot I know but his mind threw out hints about Betsy when he spoke to Tyus and Antonio so you never know. As for the rest well he's placed himself in his home where he's always felt safe, he built for Maria and it's where he's learned to love Benjy. He knows Tess is in jail, Derek's dead, so there is only one threat left and that's the jailer. So he the jailer breaks in to Ben's sanctuary and takes over.

In these nightmares he will always take over and win as Ben's not given anyone the vital information that will stop this threat forever. He might no be able to he said the jailer was disguised so perhaps he's never seen the jailer's face. The gun was used by Derek to over power Ben in real life so it could be used by the jailer in Ben's mind now. Deep down he knows Meg is safe so she's out the picture, he cares for Maria and Benjy no matter what happens in his life so they are vulnerable and could be used against him and there wrapped up with house. If he definitely knew they were safe then someone else close to him would be put in their place or it would be a head to head with the jailer and the jailer would always win."

She paused for a brief moment to give them time to get to grips with what she was getting at and also they would understand she was coming to something different and then commented. "Those mumbled words at the beginning, perhaps he's still fighting with himself; you know the little boy Antonio saw at the beginning popping out to see if it was safe. One side wants to do it the other side is not sure enough yet so they argued and one side is willing to trust Bob's voice even possibly called out for it. Tested the water and when he heard it told him what he saw and hopefully things are getting sorted peacefully and when it surfaces it will come out in a better or proper version. But I can't say when that will be."

Helen paused to let them think about it and then after a moment concentrating on Jude and Meg knowing they wouldn't like it nor did she come to that and said. "We have to consider if it did happen **and **if it did, then Ben did a deal with the devil and the devil let him live. That in it's self would be a layer guilt Ben would have to live with … cope with then and now that memories are wakening and will have to decided whether or not to break that deal."

Jude and Meg looked at her not liking the idea at all … a nightmare was bad enough to have happened surely not … but if had then what …, Bob stayed still and silent letting her words compare with his own thoughts.

Helen started up again. "If it did happen it would have been ahellava shock we all agree on that." She got two nods and knew the two were with her and her brother would butt in if needed and carried on. "Ben said his mind started to freeze as he faced the jailer and to be honest with you … it would have been a crack in the last straw. Ben need not have shattered or gone to pieces though we know he's got a strong backbone and got as far as Castletown.

He might have stayed in the car not gone to a hotel. The car might have felt the safest place now his home had been invaded, that could explain his distrust of buildings but I'm not going to assume anything because we know he didn't like cars either of course both could be from his time in Seattle and nothing to do with this. Either way he found food and catered for his needs then he might have walked along the cliffs we know it's isolated there and started to pick up the pieces sort things out ... sort out what he should do. He would have been reluctant to contact the local police they would not know him or what happened so he would have had to explain everything. Unfortunately he might have thought twice about disturbing Sunset police as well. I'm sorry Jude the police action that day has a lot to answer for and I know you've made sure it will never happen again if someone is kidnapped or traumatised by something happening."

Jude nodded accepting the responsibility even though he was not dealing with it that day and let her carry on.

"Now we add the second meeting with the jailer. An accidental meeting or sighting and being followed however it occurred it was violent his injuries and the scar on his back says so. To me that smacks of revenge or the need to show he still had power over Ben his victim. Ben would have been shattered beyond belief. He had made a deal with the devil and now the devil was attacking and he was left for dead. The jailer might have told him that Maria and Benjy were dead or would be because it appeared gone back on his deal or perhaps nothing was said and Ben was just worried they might be if he was around. He would have been vulnerable he'd been betrayed by family, his identical twin and he'd been betrayed by a stranger the person who'd kept him in Seattle so who could he trust.

We know he was injured and possibly confused due to head injure and yet he still managed to climb the cliff in the dark even with the help of the path when he got to it, it would have been difficult. Somehow all the way through this he kept his love for Meg and even more surprisingly trusted a stranger … a stranger's voice as he became stranger to himself. Possibly he heard something in Bob's voice and actions that reassured him; Bob is trained to act and to read people very quickly. He knew Ben needed help and acted without too many questions or fuss. We thought the questions would come later but when Ben woke he found there was nothing there and found a child with a shattered soul like his own and unconsciously, possibly because it was child and children have not betrayed him, he stayed and they helped each other. If he'd just seen us he might have trusted us or he might ran as soon as he could get out of the house and then he would have been a closed down stranger in a very strange place. Though I suspect he would have made his way north he sensed he and Bob went south. Betsy mended quicker and unfortunately he heard the bird cull and closed down again because the gun would have been associated with the jailer's attack at Ocean Drive as well as Derek's death.

Helen looked at Meg and Jude saw that although they didn't like they could understand it could have happened and said gently. "Now we have a hundred dollar question to answer - **if **it happened do you think Maria could have blocked it out completely.

She would have been in a state there's no doubt about that. Might have ordered Ben out of the house regardless thinking with him gone the future threat was gone as well. Add in Benjy's rejection of him and Ben would have gone. Guilt is a powerful destroyer. In the morning Maria was faced Benjy's attitude, also realised she could never tell anyone what happened with or without Ben's consent. Ricardo is a police officer by nature and he or Jude would have stopped or traced the cheque and hunted the jailer possibly put out a public call for Ben. Or perhaps she realised she needed Ben's support and went to find him couldn't and shutdown or just shutdown because she'd left the house then Rodney met her and talked with her … a bit like Ben trusting a stranger … and the rest we know."

Meg tried to get hold of it and thought about Maria and the person she knew with no memory. Jude sighed wondering if he was going to have to break a confidence and said. "She's never remembered her months in Seattle the doctors don't think she never will now and there's the memory loss episode from the accident."

Helen nodded and commented. "From the reports you gave me Seattle was drugs and the accident was a knock on the head and shock. This would be different it would be a conscious blocking out to start off with, followed quickly by locking away that memory or memory hole. There is also the fact the Ben suggested that Benjy went to Tess's sister because of the stress it might cause her. Maria must have known about that and in the morning his proved right in her depressed state she would have wanted to hide it away or hide from it convince herself it never happened fill it up with everyday things. It does happen … people have walked away from firm or family break downs and some return days, months or years later others just carry on walking never fully remembering or never face what they left behind it becomes to big for them to do so."

Hearing that Jude knew he didn't have a choice in the matter and said. "I want you to know that I agree with Meg I don't think Ben would have left Maria or Benjy in such a vulnerable position and I'm not too sure he would have felt safe either. From what I read of him I'm sure he would have found a way around the situation with or without Maria's consent.

He hesitated looked at all three of them and then went on concentrating on Helen. "But you need to know this so I'm going to have to break a confidence, which means it does not go any further or down on paper."

Helen, Bob and Meg nodded all of them hearing the seriousness of it in his voice.

Jude sighed and said. "Okay, Maria has only recently remembered something she at first consciously hid from family and friends. It then got buried deeper as the years went by and then the accident etc happened and has just come back through therapy and because she's away from her family and this town. The doctors believe as she's got Seattle memories missing she shouldn't have any secrets from her family as she moves on to starts her own family. So she has told her family and they've given her their support and understanding as does her husband."

Helen could see Jude was having trouble and said gently. "You need to go on it is the same idea and if she's done it once she could do it again if the reason was strong enough. One secret has broken through so could this one and it could do it at the wrong time… hurt her recovery."

Jude nodded and said. "Maria was married and divorced not long before she met Ben. It was a secret marriage neither family knew about it and it only lasted a few months. Her mother sent her to help look after an aunt who lived away from Sunset Beach she didn't want to go but had little choice. The man was working for a cousin and his own family worked in a town not far away. Maria didn't go into detail with Ricardo for obvious reasons and he wonders if the marriage was an act of rebellion and loneliness rather than real love.

The divorce was caused by a tragedy in the husband's family and the death of the aunt which meant Maria had to return home. If the tragedy in the husband's family hadn't happened she might have brought him home and faced the music. We'll never know, instead he flew over the boarder and got the quick divorce. I don't know the time period on his side but he married again as soon as the mourning period was over and saved the two families livelihoods. Maria never told her family and friends and she knew she could never tell a boyfriend for fear of being rejected. That boyfriend turned out to be Ben."

Meg looked at Jude aghast not really believing what she'd heard.

Helen though shocked asked gently. "Did she love Ben?"

Jude nodded. "Yes, she told Ricardo it was not on the rebound it was real and doesn't want Ben to know unless it is really necessary she knows it would hurt him and the memories he has of that time. Ricardo believes her; he saw Ben and Maria together and saw their love grow. Apparently the man died the day of the storm when Maria was thought to have drowned. He died in a car accident and left a wife and children they were a happy family and the firm was and is a success and supports many families in their home town. I believe the woman is remarrying soon so it's best for her sake that this is kept quiet. Carmen is the only one who knows the family's name and town. Maria has forbidden Ricardo to look into the matter in any form and she also warned him off Rodney, she did the same regarding Ben it's an understandable reaction … Ricardo had taken the place of their dead father and Maria wanted to make her own choice.

The reason I know all this is Ricardo was feeling that detective 'itch' to do it and needed someone to talk to. He could not talk to Antonio and certainly not Carmen I'd just become his boss and we've got to know each other fairly well since the beginning of the year. I told him if there was any looking into Maria's past or present men I would do it because if he broke his word he'd lose her and his family doesn't need another rift. I know he needs to know I've told you and I will tell him as soon as I can."

Helen looked at Jude understanding the dilemma and knew she was going to make things more difficult and sighed saying. "I'm sorry but you've got to check with Maria whether or not this actually happened. It could be she's blocked it, you've just proved she's capable of it and we know Ben's blocked a lot through shock. More than likely it will be as I said his mind is comparing his so called failure in protecting Meg from Derek and put Maria and the jailer in her place."

Jude silently swore and nodded then asked. "What about the name Pedro."

Bob sighed and thought back and said. "Ben seemed to come out of whatever he was in to answer it but then slipped back in so I don't know, does he know a Pedro?"

Meg nodded. "We know several but none who would have done this. Their age ranges from ten to sixties."

Bob thought and said. "Okay, let's treat it with caution kidnappers don't usually give out their names or identity so it could be false ... something that just floated by at the time. He said the jailer was disguised as he was in the basement so I doubt he could be comparing it with someone he knew … you get that sometimes when you are trying to remember a description. Hopefully we will get a better picture next time."

Jude understood and asked. "Will he be all right?"

Bob smiled and said. "As he shutdown he stopped shivering and Tim's checked his breathing and pulse and gave me the okay. So yes I think he will be all right, we'll gently help his mind back to a stable point when he wakes and let you know." As they knew each other better he added with a touch of sympathy. "Sorry, you'll have to do it and you'll need Ricardo with you as Antonio is still at the Mission keeping up your cover story."

Jude smiled and sighed and got out his phone then put in the numbers muttering quietly. "Ricardo's **soo** going to love this." Knowing what had happened between brother and sister earlier.

For a moment he thought he was going to get lucky and get the answer service instead then as the wrong voice answered asked. "Patrick where's Ricardo?"

As he listened he didn't quite know whether to laugh or cry but managed to sigh. "Okaay" then got his thoughts together and ordered. "Good call. You go with the car and deal with it then write a report and let me have it. Don't let him near any of it in case we have to carry on with an investigation. The other work takes precedence. Ricardo can deal with the tracking device and the firm if they are okay with everything. I'm considering a sweep of Sunset and Castletown just to make sure it's not around, get Ricardo to check it's feasible and will not take forever and that you can spare him.

See if the Chief and Judge agree if so get the search warrant for him; make sure it covers the vehicle and buildings with and without owner and unknown owner. You'd better add something regarding recovering the vehicle as well. Check where we might keep the vehicle if we should strike lucky it will need to be secure and clean. Then get the warrant delivered to the garage by his police officer guardian make sure it's Spencer or one who knows what they are doing remember Ricardo is on probation so he needs someone he can refer to… respect. I need you back in the office checking things and reinforce that phones and not radios are to be used and nothing leaks out about both things.

I'll send Ricardo back to the garage when we've finished with what I need to do. I want him to met outside Maria's, I'm going there once I checked they are in so if you don't hear from me carry on. I'll tell him in when we meet outside and I'll do a big meeting once I've finished there."

He listened to the acknowledgement and the check back okayed it then disconnected. He then found his book and checked the number keyed it in then said on pick up. "Maria its Jude Cavendish is it all right if I come and see you. …I'd rather explain when I see you say about ten minutes I'm meeting Ricardo outside first. …. Thanks."

As he disconnected Bob's gentle interested "Well" made him smile, they were all looking at him with curious eyes and he couldn't blame them.

He looked at Bob and started to explain. "First of all Tyus was not the only safety net Ben put up. He had tracking devices on his and Meg's cars, if it's feasible we'll sweep for the car." He looked at Meg and added gently. "He knew it would worry you Meg so he kept it quiet and had the idea the fewer people who knew the better."

Meg nodded understanding it and let him carry on, which he did with a sigh. "Patrick's just taken Rodney's old car into custody to get things checked out as it could be a dodgy car. He's Maria's new husband it was at the garage they went to regarding the tracking device and the owner was suspicious about it and then found grey/white powder in the trunk which could be drugs or firecracker residue. I think it's possible he set some firecrackers off behind the Mission to get back at Ben.

**So** if the car is doggy the case load has just got bigger, if that was not enough Ricardo just accused Rodney of having an affair after seeing him with an unknown lady in a more than close hug this morning. He saw Rodney and Maria about and it turned out she is a cousin or cousin in law he's not clear which as they didn't say. **And** **now** I'm going to ask Maria if she has a buried memory about an attack at Ocean Drive."

There was a twinkle in Bob's eye but he did have a sympathetic smile and his voice was soft with understanding as he said. "And you thought this was going to be a slow case."

Jude smiled and sighed "I just hoped it was going to be **one **case of getting someone's memories back with a possible lead to the jailer. Should have known better when a certain twin was involved." He saw Meg smile and shake her head so he knew she was not offended on Ben's behalf and turned to Helen adding. "Oh yes the computer failed on that sketch but hopefully it will come good later and the good news is the trailer is all yours free of charge with an added free service when it comes up."

"Oh Lovely." Helen said happily then added seriously hoping it would help him. "You know you don't have to accuse Maria of anything just tell her what Ben said and see her reaction, which will be of shock as it probably didn't happen. If it did she might be relieved its out in open though guarded because of the threat he gave. I wouldn't tell Ricardo first he'll be protective towards her and don't mention anything about the car."

Jude took on board the advice as she gave it and couldn't stop his short laugh knowing he was going to steer well clear of that one till they had absolute proof and a case that would not fall apart when the defence lawyers touched it. Knowing he had to go he added. "Okay I'd better get it done, ring the station if anything else comes up and I'll fill you in later if I'm still alive."

Smiling at the tone of his last comment Bob said. "You might want to check with the Mission before you see Maria in case she's rung there and talked to Antonio."

Jude continued getting up realising it was a good idea and stopped going for his own phone as Bob had got his new one out and had punched in numbers then handing over to him saying quietly. "Regarding him, look out for the signs I taught you on that course and be aware of a shut down like Ben's for her should it bring it all back suddenly."

Grasping why Bob was doing it Jude took the phone and when Antonio answered said. "It's Jude can you talk … … Oh good I'll hand the phone over to Helen in a minute and she can fill you and Tyus in. Have you spoken to Maria recently? ………….. Fine did anyone mention how Ben was …………. No I need to check something with her now and needed to know how to deal with it without putting my foot in it. ………………………. Good point I need it to look as though I've been so I'll drive past the Mission before I go to see her. ……………Ummm I might be able to do something about that. ………… No still keep to our story though Tyus can say he's still resting otherwise no comment and pass them on to the station. I'll pass you over now, oh yes I might need Dr Estrada's number has Tyus got it. ………….. Right got that and thanks."

He handed the phone over to Helen and said to Bob. "Thanks good call. I'll leave you to it and Meg, you take care."

Meg gave a brief smile and nodded trying to stop her mind wandering over the 'what if's' that were threatening to take over.

Knowing Jude would stop for a moment at the house Bob asked. "Could you let them know we'll put the phone on silent here so we might miss any calls and someone will be over or ring Betsy later? I'll see if I can put that new monster on silent as well so you can ring me just give it one or two rings then ring off and I'll call you back. I ring the station and find out where you are if anything urgent comes up."

Jude nodded and still trying to work out his strategy for facing both Maria and Ricardo and left them.


	47. Chapter 47

Hope you enjoy this one, am out and about so the next one might be a while in coming but it will come, reviews welcomed.

oxoxo

**Chapter 47**

The two cars pulled up outside the house Maria was staying at simultaneously from opposite directions and stopped bumper to bumper without actually touching.

Jude was glad Ricardo wasn't wearing his official jacket, it would help make this look like a casual call and as he met him at the gate said very quickly so it looked like a normal greeting and not a covert message. "I'll explain everything as I talk to Maria, you know nothing."

Ricardo nodded not really understanding the last bit but as he'd learnt to trust Jude didn't argue and would let him take the lead in all things. And shut down his worry that this could bring up bad memories for his sister and thought of pleasanter things with a touch of caution to make his attitude natural, knowing his sister could read him if he wasn't careful.

The door to the house had already been opened and Maria was standing on the doorstep watching them then smiled and said as they reached her. "That was very impressive parking. Come in."

Jude smiled nodded and took advantage of the opening saying. "I'm sorry if my phone call made you anxious Maria."

She led them in and admitted. "Just a bit but I was passing the window as you turned up so came out, you've not been working with Ricardo then." Showing she'd noticed the significance of two cars and the in different directions.

Jude answered easily and without hesitation. "No he's been catching up on the statements regarding the firecrackers and the murder case although we've got someone the case is not complete by any means. I've been on other work and just come from Ben having decided I needed a break from the office."

They were walking through to the lounge now and as they entered Maria said. "Jude this is my husband Rodney. I take it he can stay?" and immediately added showing her true concern. "Is Ben all right?"

"Rodney nice to meet you and yes you can stay if Maria is okay with it." Jude said as he shook the man's hand doing the automatic run through of the man in his mind and letting those thoughts slip to the back and released the handshake then gave quick casual look round the room and found what looking for. He wanted this to be a casual chat so knew they needed to be sat down, but not in those comfy chairs they were the type you couldn't get out easily so chose an upright chair near the table and sat down.

Rodney and Ricardo just nodded to each other and then took Jude's lead. Rodney sat back down on the sofa while Ricardo chose a chair like Jude's but further away so they wouldn't feel they were ganging up on them. **Hell** he'd already blotted his copy book with them he didn't want to do it again and shut that thought away.

Maria stayed standing watching the men and waited for Jude's answer, calmer that she had been … she'd just crossed of Ben's death off the list … their manner was all wrong and she would have recognised that flicker of sadness in Ricardo … it was always there when he dealt with death regardless of who it was. … But all the same something important must have happened for both of them to come.

As soon as the others had settled Jude looked at Maria and said calmly. "Ben's in an unconscious sleep rather than sleep brought on by tiredness and we don't know if he will remember what happened when he wakes. We do know we can help his recent memories by prompting, showing him photos of his work and he remembers it. In this case we can't do it with photos so we need the right verbal prompts and that is why I'm here."

He paused so she could relax … get rid of her fears and at her slight nod carried on to explain. "He's had a nightmare and as you can imagine we only heard one side of it so we don't exactly know what was going on and we couldn't ask him question because he never actually woke up when it ended. We believe it concerns Christmas Eve night and he was talking to you Maria and that's why I would like you to run through what happened so we can find out what is real and what isn't. To save the confusion of both of us comparing things as you go through it I think it would be easier if you do it first. I know you made a brief statement but I think by talking to you I can clear a few things up … make it easier for him … that is if you don't mind of course. If you do then we will just wait it out and take each nightmare as it comes."

Maria looked at him as she thought about it, she didn't want to revisit that night, she'd put it behind her was starting a new life … even though some people she'd met today obviously hadn't. Those encounters had rubbed her up the wrong way and made her wonder just how wise this visit was regardless of its importance to her, and was deciding she couldn't come back again. And now this … she knew she couldn't really refuse ... her own nightmares when her memories of the boating accident returned had been scary … confusing … and he'd helped her. It worried her that Ricardo was here as well and knew she needed to know why they were both here before she started so asked. "Why's Ricardo here?"

Jude smiled reassuringly seeing she was slightly troubled and said. "He needs to know what's going on and I've not had time to debrief him. I thought I could do it one session, I also thought you might like some family support if Rodney was out or you needed privacy. Antonio's tied up at the Mission and I believe your mother is out of town till this evening. He's also Meg and Charles's linkman in all this so needs to know what is going on. It's not a police matter it's just that I'm able to travel and there's a need to find out whether Ben's mind is fooling him and if so I can relay back to the others and they can help him when he wakes.

It was pure chance I was around when this happened otherwise Tyus would most probably be visiting you. If having Ricardo here is a problem he can leave and I'll brief him later on the necessary bits. Your privacy will be respected it's the guidelines I need."

Maria looked Ricardo then back at Jude she couldn't see any nervousness in her brother or anything in Jude that said he knew about what happened earlier and made up her mind about things and said. "No it's just we had a slight family thing earlier but it's been cleared up now so it doesn't matter."

Jude nodded but stayed silent hoping she would tell her side of the story without any more prompting, he didn't want to come over too anxious or pinpoint a special time but he did want it done now not later.

Maria looked over to Rodney who nodded and gave a slight reassuring smile; she knew she needed to do this … it would niggle her if she didn't … and took a deep breath in and let it out as she took her mind back to that night and asked. "Where do you want me to start and how much detail ... you said guidelines what do you mean. It's not an easy time for me you know that don't you?"

Jude nodded and said reassuringly. "Yes I know that and you can stop if it becomes too difficult for you. I think it's your views on the night … how he was taking it as well as what happened. It's so we can give him the right backup … so he can get his thoughts in order … get the right picture of what happened and not get stuck in a nightmare of something that didn't happen."

She was anxious now and didn't hide it as she asked. "He is really all right isn't he? Last night could not have been good for him … I've tried to talk to Antonio but he seems to be tied up all the time and the Sisters aren't willing to talk." She sighed as carried on. "I suppose I'm not family anymore so should not be worried but I do care for him as a friend rather than anything else."

Jude remembered what Antonio had told him and said gently. "The Sisters have been told not to give out any information to anyone and to filter all calls to Antonio. It's difficult for Antonio to get to the phone and they've had a lot of trick calls from reporters and pranksters so they are being extra careful. It could have been that Antonio was with Tyus and then myself, even Meg and Ricardo have been asked to wait for calls from Antonio rather than the other way round.

Ben's at a delicate stage at the moment he could come out of it remembering things or he could go back into his silent stranger without a memory stage. Tyus gave him a light sedative so he slept last night and has been resting and doing a little garden work away from anyone watching and was silent until the nightmare. Because it's come as a complete surprise we need more information so we can help him. I can assure you; you will be informed how he is when they really know. Just take their silence as a good sign and enjoy your stay here."

Maria nodded understanding the gentle request for her to stop ringing, which made sense really she was after all one step away from him now. It was not the same when she was in trouble he was her husband so had responsibility for her and needed to be close to the action.

Jude gave her a moment then added gently. "If you could start from when you returned to Ocean Drive from the police station after seeing your family and Tess regarding Benjy's adoption."

Maria nodded and took her mind back seeing the room at Ocean Drive and started slightly hesitantly. "He was in the lounge area sitting on the sofa when I came in from the police station and watched me walk over. I had my key and let myself in an officer had given me a lift.

I'd been so sure that adopting Benjy was the right thing to do and I could cope with everything. I realise now I was in shock but then I needed to cling onto something I thought I loved and was loved back … something … someone from the past that could be taken into the future." and stopped realising it was a mixture of past and present and her feelings rather than his.

Taking Jude's silence as an okay for her assessment … the way she was doing it she carried more confidently. "Walking into that room and seeing him there shocked me … I … it's hard to explain … seeing him I thought it was Derek's ghost, then Derek being Ben … and then I realised it was the real Ben who'd been kidnapped for months and who didn't want me but cared for me as a friend … and that he loved Meg very deeply indeed.

That and the emotions that went with it ran through my mind as I walked from the front door to where the sofa starts and I've no doubt now he could read my thoughts through my expressions no matter how fleeting they were. Thinking about it he must have seen them before after his first kidnapping and from Meg not me … so he wasn't a stranger to them but they must have hurt him.

To be honest with you I expected at least Meg possibly her parents to be with him, they always seemed to turn up when there was trouble and as Benjy got on well with them they were ideally placed to help him. But no, he seemed to be on his own and I assumed Benjy was upstairs asleep as it was late.

He greeted me politely and immediately asked after the family so I explained what had been happening. He'd had no idea; the officers had managed to keep it quiet till late evening and I don't suppose he'd watched the news knowing he'd be on it. … He was his usual gentle concerned self in spite of the tension between us. I asked after Benjy and he told me he was asleep upstairs and that he'd explained everything to him except the fact he'd actually killed Derek.

That must have been very difficult. … Apparently Benjy had accepted it as adults playing games and didn't see the real horror of it except of course that he'd lost his father and his mother was in jail. Ben had already reassured him he would see Tess and I don't think Benjy would have actually understood his father was not coming back till he didn't ... a few days time. Probably thought he'd wake up and find everything back as it was, only he would have a father and uncle who talked and looked the same.

Ben went on to apologize for his brother's behaviour, didn't mention anything about his own kidnapping and then explained he'd moved my clothes into the studio and that the divorce papers needed my signature. Neither of us had any doubt it was the right thing to do and it was the original agreement financially but he'd written out a separate allowance agreement concerning Benjy for whoever was going to look after him. These documents would be picked early morning and Charles had agreed to deal with them immediately so it might be all done by lunch time. I checked them and signed the divorce papers.

She paused and walked a bit making sure it stayed as a distance memory and didn't creep up on her, and then she stopped near the window and carried on. "As you can imagine we were both on edge all the way through this, so it was not as easy as it sounds but we also managed to deal with Benjy's and my immediate future. Amazingly he had found the sack of Santa's toys for Benjy that Derek, Tess and I had made up and suggested they should stay by the tree rather than putting them in his room. He thought that after everything that had happened finding a sack of toys in his room that had been left by a strange while he slept might scare him."

She paused and looked back at Jude as well as taking in her brother's expression and started to understand what Jude wanted and carried on gently. "So, he was thinking about things … not morbid or depressed about what he'd done or been through … but he wasn't happy either he had after all killed his twin ... no matte how you try to put it. I think he expected me to be sleeping at Mama's but I wanted to be with Benjy as he was going to be my son.

Ben asked if I wanted a cup of tea I said yes but I'd make it, I needed the distraction of doing something. He came and watched from the doorway in a way that gave us space rather than it feeling as though he was trapping me in the room. And gently brought up the subject about Benjy's adoption wondering if it was wise, as he Benjy would be a constant reminder of what Derek had done to me and suggested that Tess's sister might be an easier choice especially as Benjy would want to visit Tess and I would find painful as well."

She paused for a moment looked out the window and shrugged her shoulders to get rid of **that** feeling and then looked at her brother then back at Jude and commented. "I can see now he meant it in a nice way but I blew up at him and stormed past him to the other side of the lounge and left him with the tea to finish. I'd don't know if I would have gone out onto the decking but the door bell rang and Ben went to answer it so I stopped to see who it was.

I think he was hoping it was Meg to say she'd changed her mind, he'd briefly told me he'd seen her and she needed space but they were going to meet after Vanessa's and Michael's wedding on Christmas Day. Having gone through my reactions on seeing Ben and how I still had flashes of doubt as to which twin I was talking to as we discussed things I wasn't surprised she needed space and time. I think in all honesty with both of us feeling hurt, angry, guilty whatever we needed another person to be around to take the sting out of the situation as the blow proved … but we didn't have one and I don't mean Meg either … someone neutral I suppose.

Anyway he opened the door and was immediately confronted by people with loud voices possibly a flashgun from a camera I'm not sure. I was going back across the room to them when one called my name and then suddenly the words 'What's it like living with man who killed you father Benjy' were yelled out towards the top of the stairs. That was behind me as I was facing the door and had just past the bottom of the stairs. I hadn't noticed Benjy … hadn't thought to look up."

Maria stopped and gulped for air - suddenly the whole thing had become real again and she didn't want that it had been so shattering at the time.

She saw Ricardo start to get up and then her husband's hand raise to stop him and she looked at Rodney's face saw his slight smile of reassurance and knew it was just a memory and relaxed slightly and then took a couple of breaths coming back to this room not Ocean Drive. Feeling steadier she carried on. "Ben blew up and got his full weight behind the door and slammed it hard. Goodness knows what happened to them; no one screamed or reported broken limbs so I assumed they survived and went away.

I totally shocked by the whole thing and him. Oh I knew he had a temper but nothing like that. He looked at me and shook his head and gave a small smile as an apology. There was not time for anything else because Benjy was on the landing at the top of the stairs. I reckoned he must have needed the bathroom or possibly had a nightmare and came to find someone as no one was up there. Might have even forgotten what had happened that day then was suddenly confronted by the reporter's words and then Ben's reactions.

As you can imagine Benjy was hysterical, yelling and crying kept asking why Ben had killed his daddy, worried that he was next, wanting his mummy and goodness knows what else. I was closest to him so talked to him, Ben stayed back but he also explained it was in a fight and either could have been killed and he loved Derek hadn't wanted it to happen etc. Eventually we got Benjy back to his room and he was a little calmer, but he still wanted his parents then it became wanting Tess, perhaps he was realising again his father wasn't coming back. I explained I would be looking after him and he could see Tess eventually but not to live with … it was soo hard … he's soo young.

I still don't how, but Ben gave me a parcel so I guess he must have gone back down to the tree and found it … could have seen it earlier … because although it seemed like an age it was not long. I gave it to Benjy telling him it was from Derek and Tess and how much his parents loved him wanted him to have it and he opened it." She gave a sigh as she added. "It was a soft blue elephant toy with a look that caught you immediately. It was as if he felt their love through it he stroked it and cuddled saying a quiet thank you to his mummy and daddy into it and then went to sleep clutching tight to his chest. I knew as long as he had that he would be all right and I could leave him."

I was emotionally drained and shaking when I left Benjy, Ben was on the landing, he was shocked but controlled and understanding, said he'd go for a run in the morning to give us space and would take his phone to check about returning. I knew that would be early as the courier was coming to collect the papers. Then without another word he went downstairs and I heard music playing very softly. He'd scared me earlier so I wasn't going to follow and I knew we both needed space and time to get over what had happened."

She stopped and looked at the men then whispered as she just realised the truth. "He was all alone and had no where else to go. Meg had barred him and the bedroom was the last place he'd want to step foot in, though he'd managed to take my clothes out of there earlier in the day. And I couldn't help it … he **knew **he'd scared me … possibly scared himself at the same time."

She sighed and shook her head and let her gaze wander for a moment then brought it back to Jude as she went back to that night trying to keep it at a safe distance. "That was the last time I saw Ben. I went to the studio room tried to sleep but couldn't so took one of the pills Dr Estrada had given me when I went to Ocean Drive over a year before. It was not a true sleeping pill more a relaxant so I could get to sleep. I would wake if someone called my name or knocked on the door that type of thing rather than a knock out pill. I knew Ben would be around till morning and I was sure Benjy would come over to me if he wanted anything so eventually slept… to worn out to keep awake any long I expect.

I woke to the door bell ringing and it was morning. I assumed Ben would answer it when it went again I thought he might have been in bathroom so I quickly found a robe and ran down stairs. As I passed Benjy's door I realised he was stirring, the lounge was empty so I answered the door and the man identified himself as the courier and I gave him the envelope for Charles. I knew Benjy needed me when he fully woke so I ran back upstairs and quickly checked the main bedroom and found it empty and tidy. I had already guessed Ben had left as there was an envelope addressed to me by the one I had to give to the courier.

I decide I would open that later as Benjy was now awake and need my attention. When I went into his room he asked if Ben was around and I told him he'd gone rather than out for a run and he was relieved … said he didn't want to see him again … and then I told him that Santa had called. As Ben had predicted he was a little scared, but the excitement came when I explained he'd left something downstairs for him. We went down together and while he started to open the presents I read Ben's letter and the rest you know." She stopped she wasn't going into that unless he insisted.

Jude nodded and asked gently. "So no one else came that night and Benjy didn't wake again before morning and need your attention."

Maria looked at him and shook her head and said slightly puzzled. "No to both. What about Ben's nightmare?"

Jude thought for a moment, he'd not seen any of the pointers Bob had taught him so she wasn't consciously hiding the memory and her feelings for that night were real. As he quickly compared her story with Ben's he realised it ran the whole range of things. Some things were the same, some missed out, put in, other opposites and the interesting one – Maria had been by the glass doors and Ben had opened the front door to reporters. So had reporters became the jailer in Ben's mind he wondered? Easily done both were intruders and a pain in the butt and he put himself and Maria by the glass doors rather than the front door. In which case Helen was right his mind was twisting it as it sorted things and hopefully next time it might come up right and easier … he squashed that thought nothing about that night had been easy for any of them.

He brought himself out of conjecture and knew she needed to know the gist of the nightmare to understand why he'd put her through that and said. "By the looks of things Ben's mind is picking things out and twisting them. It obviously wasn't an easy night either of you but in his nightmare the jailer came in via the glass doors and took you hostage then took the money Derek left, plus a cheque of some kind and left with the threat that if you and Ben said anything at any time he would be back to kill you and Benjy leaving Ben alive to live with the guilt. He made his demands holding a gun to your head threatening to kill you, injuring Ben so he could watch Benjy being killed while dying."

The three listeners paled, Maria gasped and swayed then took a step back to steady herself, and Rodney who was the closest got up went to her and put his arm around her. Feeling his support she took a breath, steadied her tumbling thoughts before pushing herself away from him, she needed space so she could run through Jude's words and slowly started to pace round the room.

Rodney knowing he couldn't help her silently watched and then sat down.

Ricardo sat silent his mind running through everything realising why Jude had not warned him and waited even though it was hard to stop his protective feelings towards his sister or his worry about Ben take over.

Maria stopped and looked at her brother seeing his reaction and said quietly. "You knew nothing about this."

"Nothing." He said softly and honestly.

"So the Jailer didn't call." Jude prompted gently feeling the tension in the room.

She looked at him her mind churning over the horror and the implications and said forcefully. "**No he didn't.** If he had Ben would not have left us alone. **Hell** I would not have let him go. We would have called the police chief once the jailer had gone, **but** I'd doubt we would have been alive to tell the tale **do you!**"

She slammed her hands on the table while looking Jude in the face and exclaimed forcefully. "**For goodness sake** if Ben's having that kind of nightmare then he should not be at the Mission. **He** should be at Cedar Oaks where Dr Estrada can look after him. He had enough to face that night without it coming back so twisted!

Jude didn't break from her gaze but said calmly. "He has a Doctor with him."

Maria took a breath and relaxed a bit but said firmly. "Tyus is no good for him. He needs a specialist and she is good."

Jude said to reassure her. "Ben had issues with her and the Doctor with him is fully qualified and he's in good hands and in the right place. I don't think Cedars Oaks is right for him there are too many walls."

She looked at him silently for a moment understanding other things and said quietly but it showed her anger at him. "**You** really **think** that I could hide something like **that**."

Jude wasn't going to give more away and said gently getting up. "Maria, I had to find out what bits in the nightmare were real and what aren't … now I've got the two to compare we can understand where he's coming from. I didn't realise the reporters caused so much trouble I believe you just said he closed the door on them and then you both saw to Benjy because he had been disturbed by what he'd found out. I can understand how the Jailer and reporters might have got mixed up and it's likely Ben feels guilty about not coming forward regarding the jailer's description..."

Maria looked at him in astonishment and interrupted him. "Does that mean you've never caught the jailer, but surely Ben gave the officers his description later on Christmas Eve?"

Jude said reluctantly. "No he didn't. Because of the state he was in it was being left till the morning and by then he'd gone. They assumed they'd get one in the post it never came. Seattle never got anything clear and what little Ben said made us think he didn't know the true identity either. I'm sorry it's disturbed you so much but thank you for your help."

Maria nodded but didn't move, so he started to walk out and Rodney followed him.

Ricardo started to leave and Maria said softly. "A word."

He stayed and waited then Maria said quietly. "I'm not coming back here again too many bad memories, I'll keep the good ones, to be honest I'd forgotten how petty some people can be a round here. I hope I've helped Ben. I'd like you and the rest of the family to come and visit I'll be seeing Mama in the morning and tell her the same."

Seeing his worried expression she added gently. "It's not your fault and I understand why you want to protect me but I love Rodney and know he's good for me. If you feel the need to talk to Jude about my earlier marriage do so but I want to reassure you I have not hidden anything about that night though I'd like to forget it now."

"I'm sorry Sis and I do trust you." Ricardo said and they hugged knowing they would not see each other for a while … it would be phone calls till the dust settled again.

Then as they walked to the door Maria carried on. "I've been lucky so far missed the press people, if I had my way I'd go now but I need to see Mama tomorrow and we want to visit a couple of places on the way back. I like the freedom Seattle gives me I know I've got years I don't know about there but I rarely go into the city itself. We're on the outskirts you could say it's a town in itself and it suits us. You'll take care of the family and visit us with Gabi and Cathy won't you?"

Ricardo gave her another quick hug then as he started to walk out knowing she was behind him said. " Of course and there's always the phone both ways remember."

oxoxo

Jude had been walking with Rodney and looked at the new car and couldn't help the comment. "Its nice but won't it be along drive down to get a service"

Rodney laughed and said. "It would but the owner gave us the name of the garage to take it to and I'll take his advice. He gave us a good price and we chucked in the old one for free to make sure it would be taken to the breakers yard. I honestly don't think Maria will want to come back again. I know she's not married to Ben but you will make sure she hears what's going on … it will help her get over this last bit now it's been raised again."

Jude nodded and said. "As I said Antonio will ring her as soon as we know things he's got your phone number in Seattle and mobile I take it."

"Yes I think so I'll check with Maria, if not we'll ring the station and give to someone there to be passed on. I suspect we'll got tomorrow and visit a few places on the way back." Rodney said as he stopped to go back to Maria and let Ricardo go by with a nod rather than words.

oxoxo

Ricardo stopped at Jude's car expecting to have his debriefing there knowing he had to go back to the garage so as Jude got his keys out and started to unlock the door he said quietly. "Maria's told me to tell you about her early marriage. Did you tell the others and that's why you asked me here."

Jude opened the door and nodded for him to get in saying quietly and quickly. "Yes I told them and I needed her true reaction without other people involved. And Maria needed to know you didn't know as well."

He then walked round to his side to let himself in. He was pleased Ricardo had not shown any anger then or now and hoped it would be a quiet catch up though he could do without Rodney and Maria watching from the doorstep so perhaps he'd do it later.

As he got in Ricardo's phone went so he let the man answer it after a moment Ricardo said. "They've got the warrant."

Jude nodded and Ricardo listened some more then signed off and explained. "It's being delivered to the garage Angus is on the phone so I'll ask him about the sweep when I get back. Where do you want me to start or do we keep this on hold till later."

Jude pondered and said. "If we can do a wide sweep then do it. But I don't want you to have to drive down every road just in case it's down there somewhere. If that's the case then we wait till Ben can give us an idea where or we get an idea for what we pick up. As we believe the jailer had a partner it could be anywhere between here and Seattle. Any hints yet."

Ricardo added quietly as a thought came to mind. "Perhaps they had a second car already hidden here in case of trouble and did a swap. We've got a got a few little nuggets back in office."

Jude looked at him and smiled. "Now that's an idea I like, you look and report back I can play catch up with Patrick, don't forget use the phone not the radio and listen to your police guide. Okay."

Ricardo nodded not taking any offence and added. "I'll be good. I know we don't want to mess this one up, even if it's not a case yet."

Jude sighed and smiled, "Oh I think it's a case all right, choice of theft or assault and we might even get lucky and make it kidnapping in Seattle you never know. Thanks for not blowing up in there, the reason I told Helen was she outlined the exact way Maria would have hidden the memory and it was the same way she must have done it for the marriage done once could do it again. You go and I'll see you later, ring in if you need anything or get lucky."

Ricardo nodded and got out gave a brief wave to Maria and then got in and turned the car round to get back to the garage. As the couple went back indoors Jude turned round to make it look he was going back to the Mission to tell Antonio what had happened.

oxoxo

As Jude drove he came to a decision and started to pull into the small yard near the Shock Wave and saw Hank putting some waste out in the large bins. As Hank looked up Jude signalled he wanted a coffee and his phone went so he answered it. He smiled at the voice on the other end and said. "You're getting too good at guessing things Bob."

Bob laughed and said "Well."

Jude gave him a run down ending up. "Don't think she's not hiding anything unless it's so deeply buried she doesn't know it's there, if it is then Rodney will deal with it. She took the hint about waiting for Antonio's call so that's stopped a trip up from that direction. How's things."

"He's still sleeping without twitching so we're resting. I can understand your thinking regarding the reporters I'll check with Helen see what she thinks. What's your impression of Rodney?"

Jude gave a slight chuckle and said. "Oh I can understand Ricardo's feelings especially now we know about the car. He's a very quiet individual, certainly wouldn't stand out in the crowd… perhaps that's why he has a goatee, he's genuine in his support for Maria and not nervy around Ricardo or me. I'm wondering if Maria hadn't actually bumped into him that morning whether she would have given him a second look. Though he's reasonably good looking Ben could knock him for six just by standing next to him if you know what I mean."

Bob laughed understanding his thoughts and asked. "What about the handcuffs etc."

"Going for an update now, you ring me in about half an hour and I should know everything by then…. Some hope but you know what I mean. I've got to go I need to see Hank and he's got my coffee."

Bob laughed and they disconnected.

Hank knocked on the window and Jude carefully opened the door to take it and said. "Pop in a moment I need a favour."

Hank got in and said quickly. "It's on the tab and should be drinkable now."

Jude smiled and took a sip of the coffee and found it was okay so took a longer drink then said quietly. "Can you disappear for a while … say for the rest of today possibly coming back tomorrow sometime but no clear deadline."

"Who don't you want to know?" Hank asked very puzzled.

"Reporters and people in general, I suddenly realised that Benjy needs to know from someone he **really** trusts that Ben is back and safe."

Hank said gently wanting his reasoning. "Go on."

Jude took another gulp of coffee enjoying the buzz and carried on. "He's never talked about Christmas Eve and I've just started to realise that Benjy really really wanted Ben out of his life that night and in the morning Ben was just that … out of his and everyone's life. So I wondered if Benjy thinks he made Ben disappear and regrets it and that's why he will not talk about that night. Or possibly he's been thinking if he talks about it Ben will come back and he'll be in big trouble for making him disappear. He needs to know none of this is his fault he trusts you and you know kids... know him."

Hank looked at him weighing things up and then said softly. "He's been told Ben went on his own free will and we all know he did … but I can understand your point. Benjy shut down on it and no one's pushed it … just let it go to ease his pain … he's comfortable with his new parents so might open up. I can go easily, we come off shift in half an hour but I can go earlier as in now. I'll have to explain to Joan and she can rope in one of the others for tomorrow, the reporters keep coming in for coffee and a hint or two which they don't get but we can cope with that. Casey and Sara will not say a word you know that so Joan will keep them in the loop. Of course I'll have to get a flight and a room, the travelling will not take long, but to get him to open up well that might take longer. What's happened?"

Jude explained everything about Ben's nightmares, their thoughts and his discussion with Maria and ended up with a smile. "You'll go first class in whatever AJ can rustle up the quickest …I would say ordinary plane if it's earlier but someone might spot you. You'll be met at the airport and accommodation will be arranged most probably with Benjy's guardians if not I expect a police officer can put you up."

Realising just how bad it had been that night and was now Hank nodded and sighed "Ben's not having an easy time of it is he."

"No but he'll be okay especially with Meg around" then realising it had not actually be discussed added. "That's not a problem is it?"

Hank laughed "No I understand Ben a bit better in spite of his absence or perhaps because of his absence … I know he'll not harm Meg and they need to be together. **Hell** he found his way back to her without a memory so who am I to buck that. I'll go and tell Joan and get my overnight stuff will you get AJ to ring me he knows my number."

Jude nodded and Hank got out as Jude dialled and then got AJ after the first tone. He explained what he needed and knew it would be all right. He then checked a number on his phone menu and dialled it and made the finial arrangements knowing his connection would explain everything to Benjy's guardians and would get back to him if there was a problem.

He then finished his coffee and drove on to the station looking forward to his catch up session with Patrick.


	48. Chapter 48

To say the obvious ... I'm back ... hope you enjoy this one.

oxoxo

**Chapter 48**

When he arrived back at the police station Jude walked over to the Desk Sergeant and having no idea where his so called 'gang' were asked. "Are they all in the office?"

"Not quite Sir, Paul's still hugging the computers," which caused Jude to smile as the Sergeant carried on without having to check any list or hesitation. "The Chief and the DA are upstairs conferring and would like to be in on any update, Patrick gave them one earlier and the Judge came by five minutes ago so might still be around. Otherwise, Ricardo is out goodness knows where, which leaves Patrick and Sy who **are** in the office. Then last but not least there's a message from Annie for you."

Jude sighed and looked expecting the worst, and got a fatherly smile from the Sergeant who then added softly. "Its okay, she just wanted you to know she's taken the car and will be out late so get your own tea and don't wait up." At Jude's questioning look that there **had** to be more, the Sergeant swallowed his smile and enlightened the detective. "She's gone out with Maria and Rodney for a film and meal, a spur of the moment thing apparently Maria rang her and said she needed cheering up and seeing her would do her good." And then knowing where Jude had been he asked with real concern. "How's Ben?"

Jude quickly took in the information knew he could eat at the station or at the hotel so no problem there, he also knew why Maria needed cheering up … just hoped she would keep that one quiet or he'd never hear the end of it from Annie and came to a decision. "That gives me two choices for tea I suppose sandwiches or a cooked meal." Seeing a twitch of a smile from the Sergeant he added. "Ben's okay as far as we know. As you've been here most the time today take a break and come down I might need your input. Make sure the desk is covered by someone competent though, and ask the Chief etc to come to the office for an update it will save me saying things twice. Umm tell Paul to come when he's ready or ring in with news if he can't be spared."

The Desk Sergeant smiled and nodded already working out his replacement then started to arrange things pleased to be let in on what looked like to be an important update.

oxoxo

Jude was pondering Ben's words before his nightmare as he walked into the office and smiled and nodded a greeting to the couple. If he didn't know better he would have suspected Patrick and Sy were **not **working as they sat close together in the corner with smiles on their faces. **But**, he knew Patrick and they were sharing the duel phone so left them to it hoping the smiles meant good news and realised Sy must have returned with the helicopter after introducing Charles to her Uncle. Possibly thinking the story up here might be the more interesting one… and she might be right at that after all lawyers and company people were always full of words… and there was Patrick, he couldn't deny his friend brightened when Sy was around.

Stopping in front of the white board Jude glanced at the alterations and noticed the timeline had been scrubbed… that was okay. The first seemed to cover Seattle … he would go back to that, the second had some of his photos of the cliff top and path, … he had to admit they were good but they couldn't show what he'd felt up there or going down the path and suppressing the small shiver that ran through him at that memory he saw the gap just below them for writing. And gave a slight smile guessing that was Patrick's big hint for a report rather than a couple of words… well he'd a mini one with his brief verbal report in a moment ... and a longer one on paper later. Not stopping to read the rest below the gap he glanced at the last section wondering what it could be and was surprised by it … it was nothing to do with Ben and went back to the first section so he would not be distracted by it.

Starting back at the beginning he started to study the small map of Seattle which had marks all over it showing the addresses they'd gathered, possible connections and different zones then spotted two names that had been circled in red – _**Juan Cortes and Carol Lawson**_ and reading the corresponding notes below he started deducing facts and ideas. The two lived in the same apartment block and worked for the firework company in Seattle … so could be the jailer and mate … nice if it was **that** easy and could explain why he didn't shop near Franklin Street … he had a job and mate elsewhere … it could have meant Ben was drugged a lot of the time. And that would explain his reactions Christmas Eve and after … he was getting his head around not being drugged and having a night and day... but that was all conjecture he needed facts.

Looking for the money trail he noticed neither of them had any big deposits in fact both of them were just making ends meet … no large incomings or out goings so if either of them were connected to the jailer they had to have an account or deposit box else where. Pity it would have rounded things off nicely especially with the ATM photo … Still they could get that type of evidence later first they needed know … do they actually know each other or is it just a coincidence they are in the same building … it was possible not to know your neighbours on the next floor … and work at the same place … depends if they were in different fields had different shifts … from the titles one could be admin the other technical but you could never tell theses days. For actually knowing each other … well that would need the co-operation from the Seattle Detectives … get them to watch the two for a few days. Asking for that on a whim of what they had so far would be difficult … unless he talked to the detective who dealt with the arson at Franklin Street. He'd been itching to get a result once he knew someone had been held there so he might be worth talking to off the record. Well tomorrow will be fine for that as it was getting on and he only had the office number it wasn't as if it was going any where fast it was just gathering details.

Checking through the précis of the phone information he knew that had been a long tedious job, which was not completed but some links were starting including one to Derek. He knew the links would show another picture but that would be for later, he hoped they would not be palmed off as wrong numbers or business calls could be shown as working calls assuming they gathered the right information as to who was in the group. He notices a new address by Derek's name with the word 'bolthole' beside it ... that made sense and they wouldn't know who was in it now so if they wanted to check it out they would have to be careful. Like everything else so far they needed that large solid proof to shout out it was linked with Ben and then they could roll but time had passed so it would be difficult to come by…

His attention was drawn to the orange circle round a number which had turned up a lot and quietly sighed seeing that it was a 'pay as you go' phone which meant no contract and id for the user … unless of course the person had used a card for payment of the phone … some hope of that. … Of course, they had dates and times perhaps with more information they might get a warrant or something see if there was a signal record of some kind ... if so that would give a place they came from … assuming it was one place. … Could even ring the number see if it was current … tempting but that was risky if it was answered … salesman pitch might work, might put the person's guard up … especially as the number seemed to be out of use since last year. **So**, did that point to Derek being the user in which case it could be in the 'bolthole' no one found a spare phone in the main rooms at Ocean Drive? He'd on think that and knew there was a lot more to do but a picture of sorts was starting to grow.

Moving on to the second part he couldn't help smiling at the information in a square just under the bit he was going to fill in and knew the handcuffs had been identified and had come home. He also knew Spencer wouldn't like being reminded of being knocked out and having his uniform stolen … having read that bit and the earlier reports it confirmed his thoughts that Derek did it and used the uniform to trap Tim and kill him … whether it was jealousy because of Tess or because Tim had found something out and wanted cash for it no one would know as both men were dead. **So** he could assume that Derek must have kept the handcuffs at Southern Avenue … Ocean Drive would be too dangerous – why keep them though … just in case the ones used on Ben failed and the jailer picked them up when he left Ben and kept them.

Again why … liked a trophy but it wasn't really his trophy more like Derek's or did the jailer think Derek might use them on him … as he didn't want to risk being killed or prisoner took them. Then because he had them with him and he met Ben … he used them to subdue Ben on the cliff top or wherever he was attacked when they met. Then what … a short fight on the cliff top as the Jailer retrieved the handcuffs … why not leave them on Ben and roll him over the top … if the body was found or part of the body found days or months later then what … DNA would have been taken. It would be assumed that Ben fell while walking … with everything that happened to him it would be easy to assume he might have missed his footing …the handcuffs with or near the body would certainly rule that one out. The missing car might rule that out as well. **So** Ben revived enough to know what was happening and fought back … but still went over and the handcuffs got dropped … and the Jailer didn't realise they were missing till to late and didn't want to go back … or just assumed they went over with Ben and hoped they go lost in the under growth. But they didn't they fell on the grass and the sign fell on top of them possibly during the fight or sometime after it was a quiet place after all.

Jude felt a faint shiver run through him knowing that cliff face … knowing if it had been a sheer drop it would have been a different story … could have been anyway … no … it wasn't a nice thought either way. But the cuffs were a connection though he wasn't sure if they could actually use it in court … no finger prints or DNA but it could give them the edge in a conversation with the guy … if they got that far. Going on he noted the special bullet casings now had a gun type and a list of gun clubs that used them two were in Seattle with others scattered along the coast. Not one in Castletown … he was a bit surprised at that those two towns seemed to crop up together a lot in this case. The other casings would have to wait the gun a common one so once they had a name or names they could check licenses and the special gun clubs and firms for private orders then work out from there ... they'd started with the easy bit first.

That thought brought a smile to his face which quickly went because he knew they could not go fishing on a list of addresses they needed to do it properly … **everything properly** … there would be no muck ups or second chances. From the information he was getting about the jailer he knew this man was not just a thug waiting things out or relying on the leader who was dead. He was intelligent and worked things out … especially if he was behind the emails … if so Jude reckoned the man could have some sort of alarm system … machine or unsuspecting people who would alert him if someone contacted them.** So** a word in the wrong place and the man would know that they were quietly tracing him from the past and that might cause him to run and hide and he didn't want that. Ben certainly didn't deserve that hanging over him and that reminded him of Bob's thoughts and hoped the man wasn't here … had set the fireworks off to send Ben over the top and therefore cover his tracks forever… or just give him time to go to ground after all it was common knowledge Ben was here.

He didn't like that idea at all and hoped he was being effected by Ricardo's hate of coincidences …after all they did happen … but then again there seemed to be a devil of a lot in what he'd been reading and thinking. Mentally shrugging he knew he would let the firework thing run in the background and double checked through the names … nope… no Pedro, which was a blow. It meant he didn't have a clue if the name meant anything … was something important or just something that came to Ben's mind during the nightmare. But as it was a name given to Bob by Ben he decided to write under the list of gun clubs with dotted lines beside to show it was an open subject. As he wrote it he heard the others arrive and knew he had to get his ideas right this group were no mugs and would ask awkward questions if need be but would also accept 'I don't know yet' as an answer.

Glancing at the third section he wondered why Patrick had put it up there, it was not anything to do with Ben in fact it was meant to be a quiet sideline… and felt the 'devil' stand beside him so asked him softly. "Why put it up here it's not part of this case, it's just checking things out on paper nothing else?"

Patrick heard the question but was puzzled and intrigued by the new name of Pedro and guessed it was news from Ben and said. "Paper gets a bit lost in this office at the moment." waving his hands at the piles on the desks to make his point. "**Yes,** it's just like you ordered as always **boss.**"Then because they knew each other so well he huffed. "**And** **as** **you** **know** it takes time to process a car. Anyway** I** collected a few fingerprints and they await your orders as to whether or not they go through the system. Angus gave me his for elimination purposes so done those and there are small ones likely to be a woman's so they could be Maria's. **I** assume the others' are Rodney's as he drove and owned the car. Funnily enough there is not a print other than Angus's under the hood **so** whoever touched the engine wore gloves or it was wiped clean recently in spite of the grime. I can't decide which I like or when the grime was put on. **So boss**, who gave you the name Pedro?"

Jude nodded as he took in the information and sidestepped the question saying. "So the car is clean."

Patrick chuckled. "In every sense of the word except the grime of course and I've taken samples so we can analysis later if need be. The dirt has to be a cover … heavens knows why … possibly to stop Ricardo from getting curious … but it does seem to be a little over the top. As Angus says that car is a beauty and her engine is really smooth and well looked after.

I've got basic history, in that she's a put together car, bodywork was a company car sold to the garage for a new model, the engine was taken from a car legally scrapped after an accident. The registration dates back to about three months after Maria's disappearance for easy reference. The car was booked out at the garage in Seattle near where Rodney lives now actually so I guess he got it from there. We don't know the finer details of who owned her as Rodney didn't have the log book apparently Maria might have tossed it out in a cleaning job before they came so it could be in pile at home. He promised Angus to send it on if he finds it or confirm it's gone to the trash bin on high. There's nothing on police records for the registration or description of the car or driver but that is only the published notes. They might be keeping something back or it's in the pipeline so we'll do another check later."

Jude nodded and eyed his friend and said softly "In that case **you** can't put the prints through the system and you're getting a bad as Ricardo about the man." then sighed remembering his earlier meeting and added. "Though I understand why he is uneasy about him, the man was too quiet … but on the other hand being faced with an ex-cop brother-in-law and a detective/FBI Agent discussing his wife's ex-husband I can't really blame him. How's Ricardo taking this car business I've not had a chance to really talk to him?"

Patrick laughed and said quietly, "Muttered something about if Rodney turns up dirty then he's going to make sure Maria will stay with Antonio for a very long time."

Understanding what that implied Jude sighed, "Oh dear" and wanting to turn the subject away from **that** meeting added. "The powder is not drugs I see."

Patrick sighed turned his attention back to the third section knowing full well what it was like trying to get information out of his friend and sometime partner, and knew he'd have to wait like the rest and answered. "Paul's waiting for the final analysis; so far we know its firework powder rather than the firecrackers … too many chemical bits in it apparently. Of course there could be a reasonable explanation … the firm in Seattle do indoor fireworks displays and sells the packages for parties. They could have bought a package to celebrate something or could be part of his job whatever that might be.

Anyway Paul was sending the information off to his email pal, those two have got quite chatty and he's waiting for the photo to finally finish which should be soon as in five minutes. Shall I give you Sy's good news or are you going to let us in on Pedro, who I hate to say doesn't show up in our notes."

Jude had noticed that and ignore Patrick's plea and turned away from the board saw the others had sat down and nodded at them then turned to Sy. She smiled as she had been close enough to hear the banter and Jude asked her. "You staying in town tonight?"

Sy laughed at his tone and said. "Yes and in the same hotel as Patrick but different rooms. I hope you don't mind me waiting for him though."

Jude guessed she'd agreed with Vanessa and Bette to gather news, which was fair enough and it would not go any further than the group till he gave the go ahead. He guessed she would be wondering round town alone otherwise and said. "No not at all, just as long as I don't have to face cross parents or Uncle Bob?"

Sy shook her head and chuckled then said. "No they will be fine, but I would like to phone them sometime. The phone call just now was about the house back home, the bad boys are on the run, though the brothers may take longer to deal with. I came back after a council of war things looked more interesting here. Apparently Charles said his piece about buying the house for a basic price and the bad guys started to twitch so he pointed out they had in fact promised to relocate our home and outbuildings. There was no mention any where of a pile of rubble as talked about on the phone to Mum and Dad so they could face the whole charge of relocating home and outbuildings. He then said he was willing to come to an agreement with them regarding costs and the company used. They twitched again and he pointed out that the moving company he'd chosen has tv rights and they give the background of the move blah de blah. As a finishing point he made sure they saw my damning article and that it was ready for printing in two prominent papers so they huffed but are rolling over and Charles confirm full details later." She smiled knowingly at him adding softly. "It's nice having influential friends on your side."

Jude nodded and smiled then pleased that the family would keep their home and get their own back on the firm asked. "When will it be done?"

"Not till after the harvest, there's the Town Hall to be sorted out and the brothers. I can't see the Town Hall complaining after all if it goes on that site it will tidy up the area and possibly bring business if it becomes a hotel. But it might stay as a family home as Uncle Bert could move in as well and then they'd let his house out instead. Whatever happens, it's a good start and it stays in the family. After harvest the land in front of the house will be flattened so that will have to settle, the moving company have suggested a month, that's from clearing the properties to having them on the new site. We've got to find a firm to do that and of course the house will then need redecorating and out buildings sorting out but that will be for the future at least we know they are safe now."

Jude nodded guessing that would be quite a job and said. "Bob will be ringing fairly soon so you can tell him then, they are trying to keep things as quiet as possible." He looked round the group and started. "Right, briefly Ben has been improving, his memory is patchy drops in and out of past and present which can be disconcerting. One thing is certain he trusts the people he is with at the moment and we should keep him there no matter what happens. Tyus has made medical back up arrangements to this end as well.

Ben knows the present owners of the garden centre and recognised Sy's family when they arrived, it was a very friendly meeting especially with Betsy and unfortunately the people visiting the centre saw it. Whether they will talk to others in town I don't know they've been asked to keep silent about it. He remembers meeting Bob on the side of the road and promising to talk to him also on the day he left the farm he had remembered a bit about Sunset Beach and was trying to find the family when gunshots to cull nearby birds made him shutdown again and run and become a silent traveller with no memory.

He then dropped back into silence with signing and gardening while Bob and I went to the cliff top. I'll give you a full account about that bit later. When Bob and I got back Ben had a memory flashback about the nightmare that caused him to leave us with the messages Christmas Day morning. It concerned the fight in Southern Avenue but with Derek killing Meg rather than her living and gaining freedom, he said that made him realise everyone needed space and he needed to come to terms with his brother death.

It was after this flash back that he turned into the silent stranger to us all and that was disconcerting, but he still trusted Meg enough to lead him to a place to sleep. Bob and I then brought the others up-to-date regarding the cliff top."

He turned back to the board and started to write a few brief notes under the photos as he carried on. "Bob and I decided that Ben was unlikely to have walked from beach if the attack happened there so we took a harder look at the cliff top. It's isolated and we only saw a couple of cars in the time we were there, given darkness and being Christmas Day evening I doubt anyone went by so anything could have happened and no one would know. We know Ben was whipped we now know the handcuffs belong here so I reckon that is what was used to subdue him and the cliff top was a nice place to get rid of the body. Because the cliffs further long were fenced and had warning signs its reasonable to assume they or he chose this one as it was easier and was the same kind of drop as there were a couple of warning signs up. I doubt it he bothered to check the drop before he pushed Ben over. We were lucky Bob knocked the flattened sign and found the handcuffs."

He paused for a moment and mentally too a step back to make sure he stayed objective and didn't relive the clamber down the cliff and admitted. "That path was no picnic but passable once on it, I went down it and came up an easier path further along. I don't think Ben would have used that path and then walk down to Bob's pick up place, he would have been found further up. Perhaps being night might have been better … you can't see the drop and you've got the cliff face to guide you, of course he was injured as well so its possible he only one thought on his mind and that was getting to the top.

The sea didn't come up to the cliff face so he would not have got wet, it was sheltered and the rocks might have given off some warmth. The cliff face didn't have any big trees growing out for him to crash into … they were mainly small bushes which might have helped break his fall or slow him down. Luckily there was a sandy bit at the bottom rather than large rocks further along. Once at the top of the cliff and he was crawling he could have followed an animal path which came out where Bob picked found him, it's not surprising he collapsed either from pure exhaustion or because it was dark and empty he couldn't think which way to go.

The gun casings look interesting and I know they might not have anything to do with this case but I think we check the clubs when we've got names, you never know."

He put a line under his notes then wrote the words Ben had muttered then said. "Back to Ben and his sleep, after a while he suddenly started muttering these words. Helen believes that he's in two minds … part of him wants to explain and the other is not sure it's safe yet or possibly got things straight enough. He knows Meg is safe but he doesn't know Benjy is and that worries him so he keeps checking about him. Helen also believes that Ben's mind is still sorting things out so we are now hearing and seeing the work in progress.

Now to Ben's other nightmare and the reason I've put the name Pedro on the board." Jude went of to give an account of the nightmare and his visit to Maria and her version of events while putting brief details on the board and was not surprised at the gasps as he did so. When he finished both jobs he turned away from the board saying. "On the way back I realised that Benjy might need extra reassurance regarding Ben so I've asked Hank to go and see him and explain things as the boy knows and trusts him. Hopefully when Ben wakes up he will he have sorted out the right version and be able to discuss it with them..."

He stopped because his phone went; he got it out his pocket and answered it and listened then grinned not really believing what he was hearing.

oxoxo.

Ricardo glanced back Spencer as Angus pulled the car to a halt, the tracking machine they'd been using was going bananas and the nose was high pitched and deafening.

They could not believe it, the place had everything needed for a hide away. It was easy to get to but not obvious, hidden from view and no neighbours to worry about. Should anyone come across it, they would see just a boarded up rundown building … a junkyard gone out of business with two vehicles under dirty tarpaulin covers. Nothing been moved for ages … years possibly.

Ricardo switched the machine off letting his ears … senses get used to the silence knowing it was the very mucky left hand car shape thingy he needed to go and uncover but was curious about the other slightly less mucky one next to it. He liked the theory he'd had - that the jailer might have planned to switch cars so had a place to leave it should things go wrong and he thought his Seattle car was 'hot' and he'd get caught driving home …... in which case they might find a 'bag gold' under that right hand one. And started to get out of the car wondering how to get the muck off even should he get the muck off … should he just roll the cover back carefully.

Spencer had already got out the car keeping an eye on the building just in case someone came out. He didn't expect them it had that well deserted look – roof coming off, windows board up or broken and a plank of wood across the door add to that the driveway though easy to drive up had been over grown. No one came out from behind the building either … **so** it was as empty as it looked.

Angus hadn't moved knew he had to stay out the way till he was needed. They had all gloved up partly for protection and the need not to contaminate the scene any more than they had too. They all knew as soon as they touched anything something would be destroyed but that was a given fact. Spencer was happy it was a safe scene as far as people were concerned so started his other job of videoing the site and events.

Ricardo finished taking a couple of still photos of the tarpaulin shapes to show their state and put the camera safe. Then feeling the thrill of anticipation he pushed the undergrowth away from the front of the car and then brushed some of the muck from the tarpaulin covering the bonnet and pulled it up rolling it back as he did so. Looking at the part he'd uncovered he felt a flutter of disappointment it was grubby and marked and there weren't any registration plates but it was dark like Ben's car so that was a plus. With his heart thumping in anticipation he motioned Angus over … the garage owner knew Ben's car having serviced it and had the engine number and spare keys. Ricardo got his camera ready to take any photos of the engine number if it was possible, knowing Spencer was filming the general over view of whole the operation.

Angus looked the car over feeling the twinge of recognition and a sinking heart … he loved cars … knew Ben respected his car … and flipped the bonnet open. Making sure it would not crash down on him he then switched the torch on and leant inside and winced at the state of engine and after cleaning the area he checked the number. He came out carefully and moved to one side to let Ricardo take a photo and nodded to Spencer and verbally confirmed it was Ben's car. After Ricardo came out he closed the bonnet then they moved round to the side again Ricardo carefully uncovered that part of the car and Angus put the key in the door and opened it.

Ricardo felt elated … … they'd found it on the first try.

Angus sighed feeling very sad … … The door had been locked … but he hadn't really needed the key …there was no glass in the window and from the glance he got of the inside there wasn't much in the others either … the car was wreck … and not wanting to see any more he turned and walked away.

Ricardo closed the door and carefully recovered that part of the car still feeling that rush but had subconsciously noted the state of the car went over to the front of the right hand shape knowing it was a car and wondering if his luck would hold and lifted the cover and whistled. There she was … with registration plates stating she came from Seattle ... his bag of gold at the end of the rainbow … their definite lead to the Jailer.

Moving out the way so it could be filmed clearly Ricardo went for his phone to ring Jude, though he was excited with the find thoughts started to work through his mind – why take Ben's plates and not Seattle's was that just to avoid recognition or was that a trophy, something to remember Ben by now he was dead. Wrecking the car was that hate or was it a cover for any nosy parker in the future in case if so why leave this one alone …

Jude picking up interrupted his thoughts and he said. "We've hit pay dirt, Ben's and one from Seattle just outside town and easy to get to."

oxoxo

Jude managed stopped himself from cheering out loud and listened and wrote down the details then calmly said. "Okay Ricardo I've got that. I'll get another team to come down to help process them, ask Angus if there's a secure area at his garage if so can we house them there for the foreseeable future."

He waited for the answer and then said. "Okay ask him to do that, we'll need it kept quiet of course. Give me the reg. number so I can run trace. Start processing Ben's car though I doubt if you will find anything. If it looks unlikely then take a quick look at the other one … try and get finger prints possibly from an unusual place but don't make it too difficult. Come back here as soon as possible as I need you to unlock Ben's files for me and check something."

He disconnected and looked at the expectant faces and focused on the Desk Sergeant and said while dialling a number. "I need Ricardo's boss and his team geared up and ready in five … but casual clothes and unmarked car for the journey. They have two cars to process possibly the site as well they can discuss that with Ricardo. I also want two officers, plain clothes and car to escort and then watch the cars 24/7 till they've been processed and put in secure custody. The address is on the paper here." He then spoke into his own phone so the Desk Sergeant got up and got the address and set to work on another phone.

Jude identified himself and gave the Seattle registration asking for name and address of owner. This made the others in the room smile as they realised exactly what had been found.

The Desk Sergeant made the arrangements and waited then as Jude came off the phone he nodded and added. "It's being done and Paul's on his way up like a tornado."

Jude hid his smile nodded and wrote the name on the board **Stephen Murray Rhodes** and **Franklin Street Seattle** then stepped to one side so the others could look adding with a sigh. "Pity I'd hoped for Pedro something. … Anyway this man left two cars and only took the reg. plates from Ben's car that could mean a trophy or that he knew they could be recognised possibly thought the other car was safe as he'd killed Ben. He might have known that Ben hadn't or couldn't tell the police anything or that people's memories are short wouldn't connect the two cars especially if one hadn't any plates. After a while they would be just two old cars next to an abandoned house and junkyard owners got into debit and left. Ricardo said the Seattle car looked clean but Ben's car is wrecked could be a cover or as Ben said in his nightmare the jailer hated him. Hopefully we will get something more from them … though this is a good start … it also means he must have had a third car to drive off in. So he's intelligent and had money."

Feeling this case had just stepped up a gear had given Jude that extra buzz so while explaining about cars he'd been looking at the three names and his mind subconsciously remembering this group liked word games and started to play. As he stopped speaking he looked at the words Ben had said before his second nightmare and suddenly two things became one and he exclaimed sharply. "**Damn it!** Ben was trying to warn us about the Jailer **now **not **then!**"

He spun round to face his silent puzzled audience with shock rippling through his mind knowing they were facing a deadly enemy who now had two potential hostages instead of one and this was a very hot case indeed. But before he could say anything to Patrick who was also looking shocked the office door was thrust open and Paul rushed in.


	49. Chapter 49

**Chapter 49 **

Clutching his photos almost like a shield Paul burst into the room hoping he'd not missed too much and skidded to an abrupt stop realising he'd just rushed into **something. **The tension in the room was sky high and it seemed to be between Jude and Patrick while the others looked puzzled. He gulped registering who the others were and saw the Desk Sergeant give him a nod to carry on coming in … almost as if reassuring him he wasn't really the main course, so he closed the door without turning his back on the group.

As the door closed Jude growled out "**Photos!**" hoping he was totally wrong, that he'd just got an overdose of Ricardo's bad vibes for the man and his mind had gone off on that tangent because it didn't have anything else. In which case he'd kill Ricardo later for scaring him.

Catching his breath and nerve Paul laid the photos out on top of the pile of papers on the nearest table and feeling the tension though broken hadn't gone down any and said. "We've done the original one with fuzzy hair, one with clown's makeup as the police reports said he was an entertainer and the last one's got flat hair rather than none."

Patrick walked over to look over at the photos worried about his partner, he'd seen panic flicker through Jude's features as he made his exclamation so something had really unsettled him. Guessed he would have explained that weird exclamation if Paul hadn't come in and sensed it would wait now as would his own view. He reckoned if his own conclusions were the same as Jude's then there was trouble with a capital T brewing, and was glad no one had challenged Jude to explain, that they were just coming up with him to look at the photos. Seeing the photos he suppressed a shiver but let out a heartfelt sigh saying "**Well** at least he's clean shaven." Knowing that knocked that idea on the head he looked at Jude as another thought came and asked. "Did Rodney have his goatee Christmas Day or is it new?"

Everyone looked up at Jude and Patrick, totally shocked wondering what on earth made him ask that.

Jude's mind latched on to that question as he ignored everyone's reaction and not looking up said curtly. "Yes he did, only saw him the once but you can't grow them overnight and it wasn't stubble it was established." Though his friend had just pointed out a flaw in his thinking it didn't help the man had been thinking the same as he had. Because of that voiced flaw he found he could stop being the panicked boyfriend and become more a cop with 'concerns' and started to compare the photos with the man he'd seen earlier. As he did so another though struck him so he looked at Patrick and asked softly. "How do you know Rodney has a goatee you've not seen him and there are no photos of him."

Patrick sighed realising he'd tripped up and knowing that soft tone had to explain, and that was going to get Ricardo into trouble … especially as the Judge, DA and The Chief were in the audience. **But** on the other hand, Ricardo had just found the cars and if the man was the jailer then Maria's life could be in danger and explained. "We do, Rodney and Maria don't know about it it's from that private matter earlier. You know they don't look alike so we could be wrong." But knew as they'd **both** thought of the connection it wasn't likely, it was more likely this was another helper.

Jude gave him a look that said he should have been told and growled "**Get it**" and pointed at the short haired version knowing though the man looked different … the names said it and his gut was screaming 'yes' regardless.

Patrick got the photo and put it with the others and explained to the rest. "Ricardo saw the couple, didn't know the woman and was worried on his sister's behalf. He didn't have a camera or he would have taken one himself, instead he saw the ctv and found out he knew the person monitoring so asked for a still photo. Said he thought a fraud might have or was taking place regarding couple and his sister and promised to pass it all on to Jude. Thinking it over he decided to have a word with Maria and Rodney before saying anything to us, it turned out Maria knew about the whole thing and the photo wasn't mentioned. When he came in he explained it all to me and as Jude wasn't here I decided to put it in the safe so Jude could destroy it safely later."

The Chief, the Judge and the DA nodded understanding the implications and Jude went to the white board hoping Ricardo hadn't lost his job before he started it and wrote up _Stephen Murray Rhodes_ and explained his thinking to them. "We believe there is a group in Seattle and they play name games when forming new identities. Look at the three names and you will Rodney Peters in it and Pedro in both sets, **so **it could be an original name. When Ben was in his second nightmare Bob asked him if he could name the jailer and Ben pulled out the name Pedro."

Paul felt his stomach churn that so much could ride on these photos and back tracked slightly. "We don't know the body height or proper skin or hair colour though dark hair seemed to fit it better than blonde and the face is fatter and the eyes are deeper set."

Jude nodded and flipped the clown one over finding it too distracting and brought the others closer to the one of the man and woman and silently compared them. Paul's photos showed male lifelike faces both cut off at the neck which made him think of decapitation rather than just being someone's headshot … they usually had the shoulders and lived in skin these two had smooth skin and fair completion. He slammed the unnerving thoughts away and concentrated on the rest of the face noting the fat cheeks, deep set eyes and curly hair. To him that suggested a rounder body and in the circumstances due to muscles rather than flab had Paul given him a body and checked the flatter shorter haired version. He found that whiff of Rodney was gone most likely because now it looked odd with that style … wrong … the curly hair suited the face, and felt a shiver run down his spine. Whoever it was even he would have avoided crossing swords or meeting alone on a dark night certainly wouldn't want to be forced to spend four months with.

Dragging his eyes away from those two he checked the other one and saw a happy couple … the male, medium build with a tanned weathered complexion, the hair was a medium brown straight and short but not too closely cropped. He then looked at the finer details … the differences … his cheeks were thinner and creased in a smile. The eyes were behind clear thin metal rimmed glasses and it was difficult to see if they were deep set or menacing. From his memory came the message they certainly hadn't seemed either when they met earlier. In fact nothing about him had seemed menacing he'd just been a quiet man and then there was that goatee that ruled him out ... it had suited him it certainly didn't look plonked on as an after thought ... as something to hide behind as Ricardo suggested beards were for.

Could be and if he was right about the jailer being intelligent … the man's disguise and life would be lived in, it would be more than one layer deep and the man didn't look like a Pedro. Well not to him anyway, to him Pedro meant more Spanish or Mexican blood and Rodney looked full American and realised that even looking at photo his eyes tended to drift towards the woman and wondered if was what he wanted and if the woman or Maria weren't around then glasses and goatee would distract your attention from concentrating on one feature … the man's eyes.

Agitation rising again Jude carried on pondering knowing the others knew cheeks could be made fatter by actor's pads or gum shields, eyes could be made to look fierce and beards could be taken off or put on but those had a habit of falling off. **And** this was after all just an artist's impression of an unconscious man's nightmare **so** he could be reading way too much into it. Could be several people rolled into one or one person … someone who'd made a deep impression … Yeah the last face you saw before you went over a cliff to your 'death' would do it and the man looked as though he was clean shaven so not Rodney.

With that thought his mind did a jump picked out a detail from a lecture he'd attended when he first met Bob making him look at Patrick and say quietly. "In those covert lectures we were shown a life like mask. Virtually undetectable flexible skin easy to put on and take off and could cover a thin beard so help make the face a different shape. So it could cover a goatee and be stained with colour rather than having to put make up on all the time. That would mean a clown's face could be put on or taken off at will and no one would see his true face."

Patrick nodded knowing like everyone else if these assumptions were right then Maria had come out of one betrayal and had been taken by a dangerous pro into another one and would be used as a shield or hostage if and when they got close. Bearing that in mind he wondered if that was the only thing that had brought that flash of panic but knew better than to ask at the moment.

Though shocked Paul knew he needed to pass on the other information gathered and said tentatively. "Jude."

Jude turned his attention to the man and asked. "What else is there?"

Paul noted the change of tone and said "Results from the powder Patrick found in the car that was brought in." not wanting to say whose car it was.

Jude nodded and addressed the others. "That's on the third section and its Rodney's old car bought a new one yesterday, Angus the owner of the garage approached Patrick, who was at the garage about the tracking device, because it looked as though it might be a 'hot' car of some kind and there was some powder found in it. Rodney had asked Angus to scrap it when he brought a new one and doesn't know the car is in our custody. I believe the powder will be from firecrackers that were let off behind the Mission … sort of second husband getting his own back on the first. He's admitted being in the area just didn't know about the firecrackers or where the Mission was. It's only up on the board with this lot because Patrick was afraid the paper work would get mixed up with everything else the car's history is okay so far."

He ignored Patrick's half smile at his reason and saw the others nod so carried on. "Now it will depend on Paul and the IT Officers' findings as to whether we bring this car into the investigation."

The DA nodded and butted in. "Let it run alongside this one till you get a definite cross over. Make sure any fingerprints are put through the system in the right order and don't go fishing it could cause a domino effect in any cases made."

Jude nodded and turned to Paul "Carry on."

Paul nodded and said. "It wasn't drugs or firecrackers so I sent the details off to a connection I have in the UK and he confirmed it was firework powder and gave me other information I was looking for. Though it's a small amount there are traces of multiple colours, explosive and a signature compound which ties it with the firework company in Seattle or one of those outlets down the State which includes Castletown.

As you know a strange metal object was found round the back of the shed in the park, this has been identified as a firing stand for fireworks. It's not weathered so it could have been put out there yesterday. Reckon it could be carried around in a largish bag because the fireworks wouldn't be too long or large. I doubt it would take long to slip behind the shed before the park was closed place it and light a very slow fuse so it would go off during the night. We have a fingerprint and set it to one side, there are traces of chemicals and burnt residue which are being run through machines. The company uses timers and computers for complicated display as well as various types of fuses so their employees would be trained for both."

Jude nodded letting his mind skip back through everything with growing unease.

Patrick voiced his thoughts. "Two things none of those names appear in the Seattle group and how could Ben's nightmare be a warning?"

Jude ignored him for a moment knew he had to come clean, if he didn't the Desk Sergeant would tell them and that would be a point against him, especially after Ricardo's actions. He gave a quick glance at the Desk Sergeant got his confirmation the man was waiting for him so nodded and then looked at both his Chief and the DA and said forcefully. "I and Ricardo **will not** be taken off this case we'll work with Patrick under the FBI Badge if needs be."

The Chief ploughing through the implications of the information was puzzled … it was stacking up to be a horrible case if assumptions were right. He knew Ricardo was a maverick but a good officer and would technically be too close to the case but he knew the history and could help with Maria if the worst came to the worst. But could not understand why on earth Jude would think he would be taken off the case and asked. "Ricardo I can understand but not why should you be taken off it?"

Jude looked at them, knowing the emotion 'to run and grab Annie out of danger' was running through him **and** that was the last thing they needed to sense or hear just now but they needed to know and said quietly. "Annie rang to say she's gone out with Maria and Rodney for a film and meal so will not be back till late it was not prearranged date."

The Chief nodded knowing that explained a lot and the others would understand and let the man carry on.

"I don't know whether it is just a coincidence, just as all this could be a coincidence … my jumping the gun. Maria was down when we visited her and in all honesty our visit would have unsettled her and Annie is an old close friend so being taken out to a popular film and a meal after because two friends are going their separate ways would not be unusual. **Or **it could our visit about Ben's nightmare coupled with the firecracker thing has made Rodney aka the jailer jumpy and he thinks two hostages will give him an advantage. Delay any investigation because of possible threat to Annie and Maria. New officers put in place that takes time and would allow him to put an escape plan in place. I also think he will kill if he believes it will give him a way out."

Jude paused knowing he still had to keep calm and said. "I also accept he might not be the jailer so will look at other leads and other ideas as they come up but I feel he is. If we work quietly now and get the right breaks we should be able to make a safe arrest in the morning. Maria is seeing Carmen then and I don't think he can make her cancel that her trip without a very good reason she came here to see her family. Nor do I think he will see Carmen she's got a good reputation as a seer and he might worry she will pick up on his nerves. If he has a quiet night he might decide that Maria is no good as a shield anymore and to do a runner by himself … hope the visit to Carmen will take an hour or two. He could leave a message for her at the place they are staying saying he's been called to Seattle by his cousin, we are pretty sure it's group not just one man so they might clear things up for him. He in fact would just disappear and it would take awhile for Maria to realise she's been duped and raise the alarm.

Having said that I think we should make sure we can move quickly tonight if needs be and be able to move in while he sleeps. Its possible once confronted he'll realise that having a hostage at that close quarters will not help matters whereas a quiet surrender might. But I don't want it to come to that he's already got a kick out of marrying Maria he might go for the ultimate kick of having her die as he dies knowing the devastation it will leave behind. The guilt factor for Ricardo and Ben would be higher than for anyone else and it could possibly kick Ben over the top."

He paused for a moment then seeing Patrick's supportive nod carried on. "We can have a small and very experienced SWAT team and a gathering place down their road. We've a new officer who lives a few houses away and its on the corner of another road so we can get people close without Rodney knowing. If we are right about him we can't touch the house while they are out … he's computer and gadget wise might have set up a warning system of some kind. We might be able to get in across the road and use long range equipment and find out when they settle to sleep and check any phone calls made from the main phone.

We will need plans of house in case we need to go in and we will have to decide whether we going noisily or silent and red light him with the warning of instant death if he moves. Patrick and I have taken part in that type of arrest without deaths happening."

The Chief pondered realising the seriousness and stresses; he knew Jude and Patrick had worked together so there wouldn't be any rivalry there. With the DA and Judge on board they could work things out and looked at them and got nods so said. "Okay we will work with you, if you know exactly where the group are see if you can get someone to watch from a distance. I agree we need to be very careful.

Patrick you can work alongside Jude and takeover if needs be. I will allow Ricardo in as well, its better we have him in the loop than out it. We will be around so you can check things with us before you or Patrick move and you aught to contact Seattle Police Department as there seems to be a lot of information in that area. I suspect they will be changing shifts soon so do it then. For the moment I want you to tell what else you are thinking."

Jude nodded now he knew he would not be taken off the case he took a step back and sorted out his other thoughts. The others quickly found chairs and Patrick grabbed a pen and found a pad and settled down knowing he could give his friend the necessary back up. Jude stayed on his feet and looked at his Chief and said. "Thank you, I'll contact the officer who was dealing with Franklin Street, he'll understand things better than the others. We can check the photos against the ones from Seattle but we will not rely on them. I suspect well come to a dead end as we look into the group's past because of the change of names.

As for answering Patrick's earlier comment ... Maria's right the jailer would not have let them live to tell the tale if he had visited Ocean Drive as in Ben's nightmare . I also think Ben was right he should have stayed hidden or dead like Derek, but I believe he is trying to help us now he feels safe again."

He wasn't surprised they all looked at him puzzled and sighed then turned to the board hoping they would not send for the men with white coats just yet ... although they might need a certain lady Doctor later and turned to face them and explain. "Although the second nightmare seems takes place in Ocean Drive I believe it was about the visit to the Shock Wave. The reason it was set in Ocean Drive because one Ben forced his way through the other Ben's nightmare."

He saw raised eyebrows from his audience and couldn't blame them it hadn't come out too clearly and sighed. "No, not gone mad yet. Umm … how can I put it …Ben's earlier words could have been him sorting things out even chastising himself for getting into this situation." He huffed and added. "Think about what I'm doing at the moment … I'm bouncing ideas off you if I was alone I would write them down and cross them out."

Seeing slight nods he knew they were on board and ploughed on. "Right back at the beginning Antonio said it was as if there was the little boy peaking out to see if it was safe and ducking back into silence when unsure. When Ben was with Tyus and Antonio he shot through the barriers and told them about the child etc and then ducked back let things take their course and I think that's what happened here.

Helen believes there is part Ben that reacts to the circumstances and needs around him and from what I understand of the Ben and Meg history Ben's love for her is very strong. So it understandable that once he sees her he wants to see her in a familiar place to both of them so chooses the beach at the Shock Wave. I don't think Antonio actually said he saw Maria just a group of people and being evening you've got murky light with some street lights on so peopled would be silhouettes rather than clear people."

The Chief butted in knowing Jude would not mind. "Why would that be important?"

Jude knew he had to step back a bit and explain. "Right Bob as you know has dealt with kidnappings from both sides of the fence and we discussed what it might have been like for Ben in Seattle. For lots of reasons Ben would have been kept in poor light and with the jailer disguised as we believe Ben might have subconsciously or consciously concentrated on the body language and that picture would have gone deep into his mind."

Go back to the Shock Wave; he could have caught sight of the group and with his shifting memories alarm bells rung with or without the full picture and he instinctively knew he had to get out there. So took Meg who he trusted and by staying away from the Mission knowingly or unknowingly shown the jailer that Antonio is not threat. Unfortunately Ben closes down without explaining and wakes up in the garden centre and those memories start coming to the front smothering the others but he also knows that Bob is coming and the two parts start to join together when he meets the group.

His memories are fragmented and the first step is the nightmare that drove Ben away from Ocean Drive while he was having it Bob found he could talk to Ben and get some answers. Perhaps as he slept memories about the Shock Wave came through and one side wanted to be cautious didn't think it was safe so started with the next part of Ocean Drive but fears were mixing in with it and the other Ben pushed on through wanting Bob to know that he'd seen the Jailer was close to Maria and could hold her hostage even kill her and Ben was helpless because he couldn't give a clear description of the man. Only knows his body language and one part of the man's name which was Pedro. It seemed as though he stepped outside the nightmare and found that name then got swallowed up by the nightmare again. It's very difficult to explain you have to be around Ben to understand it, he's memories and actions seem to be triggered by what he sees rather than one memory bringing up another one. He remembers his time at the garden centre before he met Maria and he's happy with Meg the time in between does not exist for him.

Whatever you make of it I also believe **that** Ben remembered something about a cheque and a cheque stub being or could mismatched so I need Ricardo back here to check that out. Hopefully it will start another paper trail that can help us confirm or rule out this idea. There is also the possibility that Ben will wake up soon and give us another idea but we can't bank on it." He stopped and walked over to the water tower and grabbed a glass of water.

For a moment there was a buzz from the group then the Chief asked. "Assuming you are right how could the jailer be here with Maria and at Castletown attacking Ben or do you need time."

Jude smiled that was a weak spot in his thoughts and put his idea together saying. "Time would be good but thinking out loud about it. I believe Derek and Rodney were partners long term or short term don't know yet. When Derek took Ben's place Rodney brought in Carol Lawson and possibly Juan Cortes for back up. That was why he needed a disguise so either both or just Juan could slip in and take his place as jailer and Ben wouldn't be any the wiser.

When he brought Ben back here they could have been his shadow against a double cross from Derek or as quick get away if things got too hot or went wrong here. Maybe because of Derek's death he thought he would go after Ben and bumped into Maria and taking advantage of the situation decided to take Ben out using the couple to find him. He could have been watching Ocean Drive and got them to follow him or because he knew Ben reckoned he would have gone south and they came across him. When they found him they used the whip and handcuffs to subdue him, possibly took the cards as their payment, the jailer would have known the pin numbers if he was in the sessions with Derek. I need to think this thing through before we tell Ricardo."

The Chief nodded and asked for calcification. "You are saying that Maria would not know anything about this even though they are married."

Jude thought back to his meeting with the couple and said. "Yes, he's hidden it deep it's well planned and from what I've seen he's damn good at that kind of thing. She needed to come here because Ben had set up a financial settlement for her that matured now and she's hoping to start a family they show each other love and support not guarded nerves. There was no reason for him not to come as far as he knew Ben was dead and therefore no danger and I gather she's not kept in close contact with her family but even so she could have been one source of information about what's been happening here and that enabled him to write the emails at the right time."

Patrick thinking about things said "So you're thinking he panicked and set the fireworks off. But he didn't know Ben was here and he couldn't have brought the fireworks with him Maria would have seen them and asked about them."

Jude didn't want to go into everything knew they could come back to it later and said. "He did after we told Maria and he was meant to have had a boys night out. There could be a connection between him and Castletown and he got the fireworks then, stopped to set them off but was interrupted by the police car. He couldn't have foreseen Ricardo talking to him in front of Maria and came up with his excuse for being there etc. Maria demands he gets rid of the car so he did. Put the other fireworks in the park during the day we need to find out where Rodney works or worked to see if it ties him in or eliminates."

He took a breath and as he did so Sy said checking back over the photo on the table. "Patrick I think the woman's wearing a wig and very high heels which could make her look taller."

Patrick looked hard and still could not see but knew Sy's work in fashion would make her see things they wouldn't and put forward the idea. "Could it be Carol Lawson and that's the connection they are cousins. If we get a better picture and check it against the ATM photo we can get a search warrant work outwards from there."

The DA said. "That photo could cause a problem; I'm assuming Ricardo was not actually part of the police force when he asked about the photo."

Jude sighed. "He's been my consultant on the murder case and been a CSI probationary officer since this morning though he signed the papers lunch time, I don't think he would have said he was a police officer but I can check. More likely to be friend to friend with official over tones and he did make a statement and put it in Patrick's care."

The DA nodded and said quietly. "Okay you know the way things work and what you don't want to happen. It would be reasonable for you to check things out only on the surface asking the bank manager if she made the transaction and work it back from there. Don't rely on anything Ben says he's not stable enough but don't ignore it either. Remember no rushing you need everything to fall into place especially fingerprints."

Jude nodded and started to plan out loud. "Okay, Well need Ricardo and Antonio back here and contact Seattle as well as checking out the photos etc." He realised he was working without Patrick's input and they were meant to be partners and looked over at him.

Patrick smiled and nodded knowing Jude needed the diversion from the other darker thoughts and he would pick up things … thoughts when needed … its how they worked together.

Jude gave a quick nod of acknowledgement and then turned his attention to the Desk Sergeant and carried on. "I need an officer to swap places with Antonio so everyone thinks he is still at the Mission it could be watched. Antonio knows a bit about Rodney and he's got their phone numbers so we can check them against the group see if there is a connection. He will also help keep Ricardo in check and I want Gabi and Cathy here both for safety and Ricardo's peace of mind. Carmen is out town when she comes back I would like someone not known to her to keep a discreet watch I don't want to suddenly find she's at the house Maria's staying at rather than at home and an unmarked car to bring Ricardo in."

The Desk Sergeant nodded and knew he could start thinking about it as the others talked.

Patrick sighed and asked "How would Annie react in a hostage situation."

Jude shivered and sighed. "Shocked, spit, scratch, kick and fight back, quite a handful given the chance and that could get her into deeper trouble. Where as Maria would be quiet, shocked and confused."

He paused finally accepting one person who might have to join their team and looked at the Judge and sighed saying. "I know we've got an order on the woman but we might have to get Dr Estrada in, Maria was her patient and she's going to be in quite a state if we are right. If we do I want her to stay here for the duration, I certainly don't want her phoning to the papers just to get her name in first. But I'm also wondering if Rodney somehow managed to persuade Maria to contact Dr Estrada … played on her concern about Ben's safety and health. It would explain about the piece in the paper appearing so early."

The Judge nodded trying to work out what kind of order he could make out to protect them all and let Jude carry on.

"Bob will be phoning soon so we'll get their input. What about warrants we've got the ATM photo so that could be fraud but I need something regarding computers the emails I was hoping if something from her computer linked in with Juan and Rodney could we search their addresses … their computers and can."

The DA considered and said. "It's going to be a long distance joint operation so talk with Seattle detective see if a team needs to be flown up there with all the papers. Think it would be better to give specific emails or addresses rather than just general ones; can mention the ones to Meg and Charles as well. You could try the link from one computer to another, the ATM photo and money links are good.

Thinking back to Ben's nightmare you said he mentioned about taking books, see if you can check if there are any missing they could have been kept as trophies. Do Maria and Rodney know you are actually looking into Ben's story?"

Jude thought for a moment. "No I said I was a messenger boy for Antonio and Tyus they needed the information for when Ben woke. Told them the murder enquiry was still going on I need to talk to Ricardo now."

The Chief smiled and said softly "I'd rather Ricardo hit the roof in here than out there."

Jude chuckled knowing Ricardo would go ballistic and while getting the phone ready he said. "I think we might be able to bring Rodney in under his own steam. He knows he's in frame for firecrackers at the Mission so we can say Angus reported the substance and we know its firework explosive and as the kids have been cautioned etc we need his statement. Warn him as he's an adult and it's an offence to let fireworks off without licence he can expect a quick hi to the judge and a fine. He'll think there is nothing else behind it, the car doesn't have a link with Ben so there is no reason to run, in fact running would raise a flag so will call in possibly when dropping Maria off and think about using the suddenly flush of jealousy plea it's a feasible excuse.

That is assuming of course the chain works and that chain is … we deal with the fingerprints found on the metal strip in the park. If nothing comes up on the main systems we use our unsolved crime one and that one has got Seattle one in it, if nothing comes from that it's automatically left in it for a future match. If the residue on that metal strip shows it's the same kind of firework residue as in car we would natural put those fingerprints in the all systems and see what comes up and they two would be left in the standby system if nothing is found. That would muck things up for us but we've also got anything from the two cars coming and when we put them through all system you never know what might happen. Patrick and I will of course check any other leads out as well."

Patrick was trying hard not to bounce up and down liking the way Jude was thinking and saw the DA smile and nod and guessed it could work.

Jude sighed and said. "We are in for a long night so we should move thank you for your support. Sy stay close to your phone."

The group broke up to do their jobs etc leaving Jude to dial, it was answered on the second ring and he went straight to the point with full command in his voice. "Ricardo I need you back here quietly as soon as your boss arrives there, he's on his way." He cut off Ricardo's natural slightly heated question of why with. "I'll explain everything when you arrive and I'm ringing Gabi to tell you will be here longer than you thought." He held the phone away from his ear at the man's rather short terse answer then cut in again. "No Ricardo I will explain when you are here and bring Spence with you, Angus can deal with getting the cars put away."

He disconnected before Ricardo could saying anything else, which was just as well because it rang immediately. Seeing the caller's id Jude smiled and answered it with a short "You're late." which was true by about five minutes and laughed at Bob's short huffed reply and then went on to ask seriously. "How's sleeping beauty." At the reply 'he was still sleeping and the princess was resting' Jude carried on. "Can you get Helen to ring Sy? She's got news about the house being moved." Once he got Bob's attention again he added. "We've found two cars one is Ben's and I believe Ben's second nightmare was a warning he'd seen the jailer close to Maria. Though he doesn't realise how close, we are thinking the jailer is Maria's husband." He was interrupted by Bob's very unprintable exclamation and Sy's phone ringing, he waited for Sy to answer and Bob to come back knowing they would have a very interesting call.


	50. Chapter 50

**Chapter 50**

After Bob's conversation with Jude, the group at the garden centre had a concerned and disturbing powwow. With Helen's expertise a shaken Meg retold what she came across at the Shock Wave and she realised Ben might have seen the group as he approached the eating area with Antonio, and the way his mind had been shifting ever since could have recognised something. In spite of her rush she'd been aware of a group but not who, she'd had that need to see Ben.

Realising it was possible the second nightmare could have been one Ben trying to get information to them they had a quandary how to reassure **that** Ben knowing Ben might not remember anything about it when he woke. Should it be done while he slept in the hope they got the right one. Not only that who should do it Bob who could talk to the man in his nightmares or Meg who had given him the information about Betsy the night before and could give him the love and reassurance he needed. **Or** should they wait it out let Ben wake and tell them about it, after all, it could be just a mixed up nightmare truth sorted on waking or nothing at all and their reassurances might in fact cause a lot of confusion and grieve to the man.

They tossed it up in the air and chewed the cud and decided on one thing Ben needed reassuring and sooner the better … they also decided to take the middle road … tell him that Jude was working things out and everyone including Maria was safe … and Meg would do it rather than Bob. Let it be the voice of love and reassurance rather than the voice spoken through the nightmare.

Even with Helen beside her Meg felt slightly apprehensive as she walked over to her sleeping soulmate, her mind was buzzing with all the implications of the information from Jude and the photos of the cliff top rather than the reassurance he was with her … had lived through that hell … was safe now. She stopped beside him noting how peaceful he looked, was breathing easily and hadn't moved since her last check, and then gently started to ease the blanket back wanting to hold his hand … let her touch and her voice be her way into him.

There wasn't a twitch from Ben as she found his hand and gently put hers on his … feeling his warmth and with it came all her love for him and confidence and she forgot Helen beside her and gently told her sleeping soulmate that Jude was sorting things out with Maria's safety in mind, that her father was with Benjy so he was safe and happy. In fact they all were safe and he was not to worry about things just get better and come back to her, to them all. She was sorely tempted to kiss him lightly on the cheek just to prove it but she didn't … instead as she gently stroked his hand then took her hand away she told him she loved him always would. Then she replaced the blanket and watched him holding back the tears that threatened.

She stood studying his face noticing there hadn't been any reaction to her voice … not even a hick in his breathing as she touched and then stroked his hand. Feeling Helen's reassuring hand on her shoulder Meg wasn't ready to leave the room just yet, not wanting to speak she signed to Helen she would go over to the bed. Once there she sat on it tucking the pillows around her back and sides and hugged her knees as she watched over her unconscious/sleeping soulmate. Seeing only his shape as he faced away from she knew that was all right and her mind relived what she'd just done … she could feel his warmth and her hope that there would have been some flicker or a twitch. But as there wasn't she could hope it would be like last night and he would wake silent or not with her words rattling around in there somewhere. That they would work to the surface … eventually … when they were gardening perhaps ... well, there was more to do … that rough patch at the top they hadn't looked at today … and felt some twinges from her muscles.

Helen moved away from the bed glad there hadn't been a sudden awakening and shouting or a sudden silent collapse just hopefully a silent acceptance of Meg's voice and words. She glanced at Meg and smiled knowing that as she watched Ben she would settled down as well, what they had been talking about had been disturbing especially for her. The rest of them had an advantage they had seen other people through traumatic situations before and they knew it would carry on being disturbing until Ben regained stability, his true memories and come to terms with the emotional aftermath. A long way to go yet and they had to ride out the false ones and true ones while Ben would forget them … be a fresh person on waking. **So** they needed food and rest and as he hadn't twitched she could go next door sort things out, they would hear the couple the mike alarm was on and quietly walked passed Meg.

xoxo

After awhile Meg felt fidgety but she didn't want to move from watching her soulmate so her mind wandered back through the earlier discussions regarding Ben's nightmares. She hadn't liked any theories wanted it to be all a nightmare find out he'd been living it up while mourning she could accept that thought now. But she knew that wasn't an option and preferred the mixed up nightmare with the real confrontation later … she shivered thinking about the whip marks on his back … one from Seattle the other from the attack … had he been caught accidental or by design … either way he'd been chucked over the cliff … fought not to go over. The rational side could see the sense of getting rid of the victim come witness away from Sunset Beach, no body to be found locally add in the misleading information and you've got a perfect disappearance.

A broken head, back or neck at the bottom of the cliff … He landed on sand, survived, then found that path and climbed that cliff which had caused him to close down.** Hell** … the whole kidnapping thing before would have caused anyone to close down or start to close down. … To want to have company the first hours and night they … **he** was home … free … be with someone they **he** cared for … rather than with an estranged and hurting wife and family the whole time … **Hell **… She was a **damn** idiot not to have seen that … not to have helped him … let her parents help too.

She quietly huffed her anger at herself … at the past she couldn't change and turned her thoughts to the other choice …idea … that he was in the wrong place at the wrong time and it was total strangers who mugged and whipped him to get the information about the pin number and because of his past he gave and they tossed him over the cliff. …But as she rethought that one she knew it fitted the group connected with the Jailer rather than total strangers they wouldn't know enough to send the emails and they had Ben in them.

Shivering again she knew it didn't matter he still got hurt by people … still somehow managed to climb that damn cliff and then strangest of all trusted a stranger. Knowing Bob now she could understand why … he had a calming presence around him … the whole family had a strength which she knew was wrapping around them … wrapped around him while at the farm. Then somehow he'd made his way home without getting killed and again with little memory or instinct he'd trusted Antonio and Tyus and even Casey.

What about last night and here at the garden centre … he felt safe here lived part of his past without knowing his history that seemed weird especially as his mind was flitting between past and present … and he'd trusted her. **But** … would he actually trust anyone once his memory returned? … Could he … he'd remember her rejections … that she walked out on him. Would they make him reject her … them all … send him back on road … his choice this time. They had had a lovely day here …would surely remember that … be uppermost in his mind perhaps. The total truth up until the nightmares today had been the best she'd known in long time. She'd felt the warmth and peace and quiet of their working together and ignoring everything else in the world. Would that … could that continue when he knew the truth...

She quietly huffed again as her mind jumped back to mulling through details of 'that' nightmare in the new light of it being a warning rather than jumbled of ideas and started another darker line of thinking. … That when Bob found Ben and when Antonio heard Ben talking he'd meant Maria not her … he was trying to protect her still had feelings for her in spite of the divorce. True she'd rather liked the idea he'd thought of her as his wife rather than Maria … they had been married … sort of … a walk down the aisle to the throwing of the flowers. Without other memories he'd remembered roses were special to her …cut her some … and then collapsed on her … and don't forget it had been a nightmare about her that had driven him away.

But why shouldn't he be concerned about Maria he'd love her … been married to her for over three years … lost her in tragic circumstances … found her again and thought he had a son and knew before he was going to die, knew she would be back here alone with his nephew and could be facing goodness knows what. **And** now to cap it all it looked as though Maria was married to the damn jailer and could become a hostage or worse…and another layer of guilt to add to the rest.

With those distressing thoughts she shivered violently and felt bed move as someone sat down beside her and Tim's gentle voice. "Go, you need a break and food."

Meg sighed coming out of her thoughts knew she had to move, she was learning that when one of her three companions said 'go' you went. They were nice and gentle but firm and had experience of this kind of thing. So she got up and looked over at Ben's still form one last time. Hearing his quiet steady breathing she felt reassured. … There was after all nothing else to do but to wait, he was safe and Jude was on the job, would find out the truth. And if it was the jailer who'd married Maria how would she cope. True she'd been irritating at Christmas but she'd just had her dream shattered and been violated now she'd been duped all over again. In a small way Meg knew she understood that feeling because of what Derek had done it to her when Ben had been held in the warehouse … to have it done twice she would be more vulnerable and she'd left home to be with him …

Helen's gentle but firm "**Meg**, food and stop thinking, they will sort it out and we'll sort Ben out" brought her back to now and with a smile because she'd unknowingly walked into the lounge area as ordered by Tim… Yeah they were good. Hearing Bob's gentle knowing chuckle she looked at him and shrugged knowing he was under orders as well ... there would be no escaping tomorrow for him. They knew the routine for tonight Tim and Helen would spell them for a while … food and rest away from Ben talk or read even watch tv quietly. Then Bob would catnap in the chair through the night as he'd been trained to do 'in the field' while she … well she would sleep in her bed, some hope she'd sit and watch them both because she was too wound up for sleep ... too many ideas for nightmares and what ifs and if onlys.

Her stomach grumbling loudly made her realise in spite of the delicious nibbles during the afternoon she was hungry and idyll hoped the nice smell of food would get Ben thinking about waking. He'd missed his snack and was likely to miss his evening meal, and knowing their luck it would be sunrise or just before sunrise start … if his body clock was anything like this morning's.

Guessing it would be a long day tomorrow Meg made her way through the now cluttered room towards Bob who was eating at the table that had been pushed near the glass doors to the garden. And admitted to herself it had been amusing to see the usually confident Helen and Tim suddenly turn sheepish and admit that sleeping upstairs seemed a little too far away from their friend. She had had a quick picture of them haring up and down stairs each time there was a noise from the mike they'd set up and knew that having them around gave her the strength she needed at the moment. So while she and Bob had watched Ben they'd gone on a hunt and found two put up beds and put them out and left pillows and blankets draped over the comfy chairs then set about finding and cooking food.

oxoxo

An agitated Ricardo walked briskly into the Police station knowing there something was up regarding him and the case. His new boss had been thorough but very quick about the change over and then made sure he and Spence had been whisked back here quickly and quietly. There wasn't a peak from the driver of the unmarked police car and **that** said a lot. … Not only that, he had been ordered to let Spence take the fingerprints and photos to the lab to be processed. **Hell** that was his job now **and** had taken their three minds to get the sneaky prints before the boss had turned up.

Just by looking at the Seattle car after easing the cover part way back they knew it had been 'cleaned' … sanitized …and he'd been looking forward to processing most of it ... if not all of it … **now **it was someone else's job. He'd known Ben's car needed **the** expert with all that glass and stuff around so they'd been lucky there as well. Had found a print on the door seal and instead of processing it himself before his boss came he'd shown it to him and let him do the job that was when it had been handed over to Spence and he'd had to hand the other one over and he'd been told to report to Jude immediately not to go to the lab. … **Hell** that part had been reinforced **twice **and stormed passed the Desk Sergeant without a word.

The Desk Sergeant picked the phone up and dialled to warn Jude that there was a very unhappy Ricardo coming down and got an engaged tone and knew they'd be lucky if the roof stayed on in a moment or two.

By the time Ricardo got to the office door his mood had darkened even more seeing only feeding that damned computer or ticking boxes or being told to see The Chief and after a lecture being sent home because he'd been a fool over Maria. So he flung the door open and demanded sharply. "Why the **Hell **have I been taken off the CSI work."

Jude turned so Ricardo could see he was on the phone and continued his conversation, knowing this was not the way he wanted Ricardo to learn things but he needed to finish this call. When he finished getting the information he confirmed the highlights back to the caller. "That means we've transport when we want it and it will take three quarters of an hour travelling time. … … Thanks AJ I'll keep you informed."

He put the phone down ready to face the unhappy man but before he could do anything the phone rang again so he answered and listened and then said. "Its on immediate standby so we have it when we need it, should take three quarters of an hour, I've got the number to call so they can be warming up while you get there. Ricardo's just walked in do you want to come up. …. … Okay can you make sure some food comes up some when rather than wait for it we've got the coffee machine working."

oxoxo

Ricardo had stayed silent seeing Jude was on the phone and had that weird feeling of anger sinking into to shock with working curiosity as his mind quickly picked up who was in the room. His brother starting to change out of a police uniform with casual clothes beside him and Gabi with Cathy in the corner in for a long visit by the pile of goodies close by. He quickly reasoned as they were not too distressed someone in the family hadn't died. There was concerned seriousness that could mean something had yet to happen ... so that was why he'd been called back … it wasn't a reprimand after all. Recognising the large locked box from home was sitting on the table he knew it had to be something personal to Ben … Jude needed something checked through. Gabi brought it in and decided to stay as she'd heard he was working late and of course Cathy came with her. That was good and as it was to do with Ben his brother was there as well … undercover because of the reporters outside the Mission. **So **add that and the two cars he'd found was this case becoming a more urgent one than they thought. … He'd find out soon.

Satisfied with those thoughts he quickly checked on the other two men who were not in uniform and recognised them as very experienced SWAT officers and they were browsing large maps … street or house plans he couldn't see from there. Reckoned they could be somewhere in Seattle as Jude was asking about transport … he knew not to interrupt them or Jude as he answered the next call so turned his attention to the next and most important thing now, the white board.

He instantly realised it had changed from the last time he'd seen it … got fuller … more complicated …and saw there was a lot of red and black writing some in blocks. As he checked it over he realised that red was positive and black was ideas to be checked or just thoughts and what was there made things click into place, fill his stomach with dread and drew an exclamation in shock and disbelief rather than anger from him. "**No**. **You've got to be kidding!**"

oxoxo

This time after Jude disconnected the call the phone remained silent so he went over to Ricardo saying. "Sorry but it's the most likely case so we've got to explore it to confirm or dismiss it. If it's confirmed and we think it's feasible we hope to move tomorrow morning might be able to get him to come in about the firecrackers but we are also making sure we can move tonight as they sleep hence the SWAT officers. We will be gathering as much information as we can tonight but we will be hitting closing down for the night syndrome soon, which will mean we'll contact those people first thing in the morning. At the moment Annie's with Rodney and Maria for a film and a meal this was not a pre-arranged meet and Maria doesn't know who he is or what is going on …

Ricardo interrupted even though he still taking it in. "You think he's added Annie because of our visits and she'll make a good hostage, possibly get other information from?"

Jude understood his fear and growing guilt over both visits and tried to reassure him so he would think clearer … be steadier. "Possibly yes but don't cut yourself up about it … they could just be on a friends' night out after all they are going back tomorrow and we could be reading too much into it because of what we are finding out."

Ricardo interrupted again his anger and disbelief showing in his voice. "I prefer that scenario and the jailer threatened them Christmas day morning and is now miles away and Maria can't remember because it's too awful."

Jude nodded and gently confirmed his written notes. "I know, but I can't get away from the fact Meg and co. would have walked in on a murder scene of three bodies made up to look like a suicide and two murders. The Jailer would not have left witnesses no matter what deal was done. I'm sorry Ricardo, but it's looking like Ben was trying to warn us that the Jailer was still around and was close to Maria when he spotted him. At least he doesn't know she's married to him that could send him over the top with guilt about not giving us a better description in the beginning … we are thinking he couldn't that anyway."

Having changed into jumper and jeans Antonio and was walking over to them when Ricardo still not happy nodded is agreement and looked at him and huffed forcefully. "You know she's staying with you forever after this, don't you!"

Antonio gave a slight smile knowing Ricardo was accepting the unsettling thoughts without blowing up and reckoned that would come later when Gabi and Cathy were out the room or earshot and answered. "Fine, and you can tell her when she's safe, Mama is going to be watched when she comes home tonight as well."

Ricardo did a double take then looked at Jude and said. "You think he'll come after us." He could feel the real anger now bubbling up and knew he could not let rip … yet.

Jude could see he needed to defuse Ricardo's anger and could only do it by giving him more information so said calmly. "Not really but I don't want her to walk into something and as she's on her own she might be an easier target ... an innocent phone call from Maria and she'd be over there and into possible trouble. He has a lot to lose so we cover every possibility. Gabi agreed that you would feel better if she was around so she's going to help with the research if she can as well as looking after Cathy then you can take them home.

Antonio's knows Rodney better than anyone here and has several phone numbers. We are waiting on those records but we've already tied one number in with Carol and Juan. We now know he uses aliases a lot … and can see a pattern in them … so even if some are dead ends we are getting better picture of the group.

Because of the situation with the woman Patrick and I are sharing lead he'll take over if we need to go and make an arrest later this evening. He'll be heading the team of Paul for his IT knowledge, and Sy for female fashion fraud to go to Seattle and work with the detective who was dealing with the arson case. It's the easiest way of doing it and he's checking to see whether Carol and Juan are at work or home because I thought they might be here watching the Mission hence your brother's change of uniform. As for us we'll be doing work back here with Spence as our officer in charge and the Chief will the final say in the matter."

The matter fact way Jude was treating it help Ricardo to get his mind into working mode and a thought surfaced so he asked. "Do you think we might have more fireworks tonight?"

Jude shook his head and walked over to the board and added the extra information he'd got as he answered. "No don't think so, the risk of Maria accidentally coming across them would be too great and being caught with them would kill his story of firecrackers and a jealous moment.

Because we've turned up once together today I'm thinking to do it again might make him jumpy and he could use Maria as a hostage before he finds out what is going on. So I'm thinking we might use a phone call asking him to come in and then let him have our other evidence once he's in the station. That is assuming it all adds up to him being guilty we might have a totally new suspect by the end of the evening you never know. Did you manage to get fingerprints from both cars?"

Ricardo felt better knowing Jude wasn't exactly jumping up down with nerves and turned his mind onto the other information and said. "Yes one from each, don't know how good they are though. The one from Ben's was on the inside of the door didn't dare go in any further. The one from the Seattle car was also in an obscure place but I think it's a better one." He paused for a moment spotting the other information on the board and added. "So, Rodney works over the garage in the zone."

Jude smiled then sighed and started to explain some of the detail behind the brief headlines on the board. "Yeah that makes a nice link don't you think. He runs a computer company, which makes programmes and does artwork, so that ties in with the Jailer knowing about computers and being able to hide his tracks. He will cry coincidence of course. Looks like a one man band and he has a web page. There's no specific mention about the firework programmes in the list of jobs done, but there is a firework display in the background along with other graphics which seem to refer to work done. Obviously Paul was reluctant to click on any of the graphics or go any deeper in case it set off any alarms or tracking devices, he made sure it could not be traced back to here when he went in.

It started there at the right time so it gives credence to his story of going to Seattle to start a business. But he could have started it while at Franklin Street under a different name and transferred all clients onwards we'll have no way of knowing till we see the business plan or Paul gets into the computer. He might have it with him for all we know just uses that as an address now. Antonio's confirmed Rodney was staying in a flat just outside town over Christmas said it was a friend we've now got name and address so we can do a trace from a distance. Check he's still there and see how long he's been there we'll not bring him in for questioning till we have Rodney inside and away from Maria. We can't risk a missed phone call from a friend setting him off.

As for now … well it was too late for the first afternoon showings so it will be the later ones and they are usually … two and a half hours to three then get a meal after that. Wherever they go I shouldn't think they would finish till say half nine to ten and then drive back. Could as late as eleven then … hopefully that will give us time confirm or dismiss his involvement. If confirmed then time enough to get the team to Seattle and back. Enough concrete evidence for a solid arrest so he'll be kept in jail till trial, the last thing we need is for him to be bailed out on a technicality or a hole we've not seen. He'll scream brother in law come police vendetta or a set up … then get Maria back on his side cut her off from her family and move out town or possibly just disappear with her money if she's not safeguarded it. **But **that is not going happen.

Ricardo nodded smothering his worried brother mode with police curiosity and knew there was something he needed to get clear before he reported his findings about the cars. "So you think the jailer hung around Christmas Morning to get more money."

The SWAT Officers had quietly come over to listen and Gabi joined Ricardo knowing Cathy was sleeping and put her hand on his arm knowing it would not disturb him too much; Ricardo acknowledged the support she was silently giving him with a smile and relaxed a bit.

Jude hitched himself up on the edge of the table so he rested against it rather than on it ready for a group chat, knowing that everyone could join in if they wanted and said. "Yes extra or the final payment we don't what the deal was, he might not have realised he'd lost out till later or he realised it early and knew it would be safe to wait around. **Knew** Ben could not finger him. Obviously he didn't want to kidnap Ben again as he would be the one getting the money this time. If we are right about Carol and Juan being part of his group rather than Derek's group then they could have been here anyway as back-up for him … a quick getaway in a different car or extra help against Derek playing dirty tricks especially if he knew Derek's reputation.

He might not have been able to get close to the main players Christmas Eve, possibly discounted Meg as a kidnap victim she'd left Ben early on and stayed with her parents visited Sara at the hospital. Possibly saw Ben leave her at Surf Central took that as sign they weren't together and the neighbours are close so Meg screams would have been heard, that's assuming she opened the door to him. We know Ben was out and about but snatching Benjy from him would have been too noisy and there would be an immediate police alert not only that kids can be difficult anyway. Maria was at the police station till late and got dropped off at the door of Ocean Drive which meant there would be two against one … not good odds for a quick in and out. So he might have watched Ocean Drive overnight be ready to try and kidnap Maria if she was alone in the morning … decided to go for early walk down to the shore. He saw her come out in distress made sure he could bump into her, get her confidence so she would walk quietly away with him till he could subdue her put her in the car or whatever then contact Ben for payment. He bumped into her and hearing her story he changed his plans and decided to get an extra kick out of having the divorcee as his wife and kill Ben.

We know he's a thinker and planner so I'm assuming he had backup say Carol and Juan … they would have followed Ben when he left Ocean Drive. a) To tell Rodney where he is and to warn him if Ben looked like coming back, if Rodney saw the overnight bag he might have guessed he was leaving town… don't know. b) They would watch Ben once the kidnapping had taken place and deal with the demands etc … leaving Maria in Rodney's care after all he had kept Ben secure ... they would warn him if Ben went to the police give him to dump and run. Whatever their relationship is when Rodney changed the plans they were willing to chuck Ben over the cliff. Their payment was the all or part of the ATM money he had Maria and access to her money.

As for the cover up … well he knew Ben's history and though the link with Maria's family and friends weren't good they might have been enough for him to sense when to put the emails out. He knew by the time we started looking the trail would be been cold … non existent actually. The ATM machine would have been in bits, film and card destroyed rather than traced back. Granted we might have got lucky with the tracker and the car who knows.

The backups … well … took a gun cuffs and the whip to subdue Ben perhaps it was Rodney's idea to use the whip as a shock tactic ... final retribution especially if Derek was killed before payment . I doubt if they needed the ATM number as Rodney would have had it … unless of course Derek manage to kept that a secret from him. Bob says the shock element of strangers of whipping Ben in an attack would have been enough to have tip into the state he was in ... in fact any attack would have left him very shocked indeed." He came to a halt not wanting to go further feeling that desolate cliff top again.

This was all shock to Gabi but she caught onto one idea and asked a little shakily. "Why not prove Maria was a widow and get the whole of Ben's fortune after all the divorce wasn't final."

Ricardo giving her arm a gentle rub to give her silent support and answered her question. "Charles would have made sure Ben's wishes were carried regardless, the phone call would have reinforced it. Someone would have had to find body quickly and it was in a condition to say accident not foul play. As you know we … that is Jude would have looked into everyone who benefited … especially Maria and that would include any new friends that suddenly turned up or wanted to marry her as soon as possible. … It wasn't public knowledge that Maria was getting divorced that morning so he must have got that information from her when they talked and decided divorcee was the easiest and quietest option." He let out some of his anger/guilt with a little heated exclamation. "Should have gone with my gut feeling and ignored her damn wishes!"

Jude shook his head and said. "No, you would have got her cross and he would have used that against you … all of you making her leave for good with no contact. We couldn't have proved anything but a gut feeling, at least this way we can get him and you can help her. You and I saw him today and we both know he is very good and I'm guessing you were starting to feel he was okay after you saw him with Maria before the other visit?"

Ricardo gave a slight smile and nodded it was true he had been beginning to accept the man till he saw him outside the bank and let Jude carry on.

Jude looked at Gabi and said quietly. "You accepted him … took more notice of Maria than him in fact."

Gabi had quietly tucked her arm into Ricardo's and said. "Yes he was pleasant and truly interested in Cathy so I did most of the talking at that time didn't feel any bad vibes."

Jude knew he'd made his point and carried on. "His alias is good, he's showing a quiet personality to everyone doesn't control by fear, is able to show real feelings rather than ones pasted on. I suspect he emphasised the good points in moving away from here and of course the courts made sure Benjy went to Tess's sister, if that hadn't happened I expect he would have reinforced the idea somehow. He certainly would not have wanted a kid along he just wanted Maria." and knowing how that sounded added gently. "I'm sorry."

Ricardo sighed and said resigned. "So we wait till Annie is gone and we have a solid case and then we move in or wait till morning whichever is the safest for her."

Jude smiled knowing the cop part of Ricardo was with him, now he needed to get him thinking onwards and confirmed. "Yes, meanwhile I need your report and I would like you to check through Ben's cheques, I know we looked through them for anomalies and found nothing. But in his nightmare Ben said he had to make out the cheque stub to a charity, sign and write out the amount on the cheque and the jailer would fill in the rest later. He mentioned twenty five thousand … I know we can't rely on it totally … I mean Ben thought Betsy was dead **but** it could be a pointer to something he spotted and we didn't.

He said he was told not to trace it or stop it so we will hunt very carefully and that's why I asked Gabi to bring in your box. We also need to find two books of his that he took with him to help him through the loss of his brother … favourites then. I'm hoping Rodney is a trophy taker and has them, what do you think?"

Ricardo thought for a moment about Ben's past then said. "It's possible and I think I might know the books he means and have details of the set in the box, they are fairly valuable if I'm right."

"Good. **So** how were the cars?"

Ricardo said with a sigh. "Spence has the photos and Angus is heartbroken. … Ben's car is a wreck all the windows have been smashed in, upholstery marked or cut, the paintwork marked and tires slashed and the reg. plates gone ..."

Jude interrupted him. "Ben said in his nightmare the jailer hated him do you think it was a hate thing or just away of labelling it a wreck so it would be scrapped with no questions asked."

Ricardo thought back to the scene then said. "Either, the obvious way to get rid of evidence is to burn it … though a fire might have got attention and just dumping it over the cliff is risky and dangerous. It was in a good hiding place and damaged from the inside out so the glass was lying on top of the wrecked seats. Couldn't see any scraps of paper so could have been cleaned out before being trashed. Tires slashed and scoured paint work are signs of hate or wanting payback so perhaps he missed out on something while he was looking after Ben for Derek. It was in the wetter area than the other one so plants were growing around it and of course rot could take place eventually from below upwards. The covering had moss and some small plants growing on it so that would stop anyone removing it to take a quick look. If the site was cleared for any reason I don't think they would have thought twice about picking the whole thing up uncovered and taking it to be crushed."

Jude felt a shiver run through him and asked. "What about the other one?"

"Well the opposite it was way too clean and loved on the inside with a layer of grime outside and in engine." He sighed as he carried on. "You know, that should have warned me it could have been Rodney's, it was so like his other car **but** that's hindsight for you. We didn't touch where Ben might have been kept thought the boss could do that. Ben did say he slept through the journey but I can't see him being curled up on the back seat, after all the jailer could not risk some nosey parker knocking on the window trying to stir the occupant while he parked up for a meal or the loos.

He paused for a moment and met Jude's eyes and carried on. "Perhaps Rodney could not bring himself to trash his own car or he's really twisted just likes the thought of one rotting away like Ben's body did while his car just … stayed in good condition and slept for years."

They both shivered at that one and the SWAT officers fidgeted till Ricardo shrugged his shoulders and continued where the dark thought was leading him. "Perhaps he was going to come back for it sometime but hadn't had the chance and can't with Maria around. I'm surprised he didn't take the plates after all they can be traced back … though two cars side by side without plates might have thrown up a red flag to anyone looking at them … perhaps it was done so they thought the cars just shared one plate old and new … a hobby left when the family moved out… very small junkyard gone bust. Mind you the site didn't look as though it would be cleared in the near future so they were safe from detection."

Jude got up and paced … the idea unnerved him and it meant Rodney was certainly not a nice character at all … turning his thoughts back to what Ricardo had commented. "True but the reg. plates would have only got us back to Franklin Street and possibly the garage. The man's name starts and ends at Franklin Street … photo and information on the licence are duff … well the photo is different to the man we know. Could try putting it through the programme find common points I suppose…" and stopped.

The door opened and Patrick came in exclaiming. "We've got a match from Seattle car the one on Ben's is too smudged but it was a good idea Ricardo and there's a chance we'll find another one as you found that one. Even better it links back the firework plate in the park **and** to Rodney's car. **But **we can't act on it yet I'm sure he'll find a good lawyer to say he's visited the garage sometime in the past blaa blaa … and plead fit of jealousy regarding fireworks. Mind you looking at those photos of the cars I'm thinking hate and hoped fireworks would finish the job regarding Ben, of course if he'd stayed quiet we wouldn't be any the wiser."

Seeing nods from both Jude and Ricardo he carried on. "The Seattle detective has just called the twosome are up there so no one is watching the Mission but we'll keep a couple of officers there just in case Rodney slips out and tries something believing Ben's there. We've just spotted another phone link so I reckon we've got enough to go to Seattle and interview those two see where that leads us. The DA is still tossing the idea of searching Rodney's house without him … we need something definite to look for other than computer connection between Carol and Juan I want the whole house."

He paused for a moment to let everyone register it all then added knowing it had been a long shot. "We didn't get anything from the photo of the woman with Rodney we need a full facial to get rid of the glasses and match skeleton details with the other one."

At Ricardo's puzzled look Jude took up the story. "We thought it might be Carol and decided to run it through one of your programmes. Sy realised she was wearing a wig and had false high heels to give her height."

Patrick butted in. "Unfortunately that lets Carol out anyway she's the same height as Rodney so heels would put her above him. Sy reckons if we get a full facial we might be able to get her natural colour from her eyebrows if the glasses don't cover them completely that is. What it means is we have another player in the game and need to find out who Lindy is, get a proper photo to run through the data basis and find out why she is so shy. Of course to get the extra photos and use them we need criminal intent … hugging on the paved area is not one nor is visiting the bank. And it would be nice to get information from said bank manager again criminal intent is needed. Nice little circle that needs breaking … I'm wondering if you two can think of an angle to break it I'm not sure thinking she was sent in by Rodney would be good enough and we can't rely on photo strip down either. Anything else I should know about?"

Ricardo put forward an idea that had crossed his mind, while taking in the rest. "Going back to the missing money I know it might not be enough on its own but what about Rodney owning a vintage car and keeping it at the garage possibly under a different name? He might also have hidden Ben's reg. plates there or in his office above the garage and the books could be there as well. If they were kept at home Maria might have come across them and recognised them."

Patrick thought and nodded. "I like it and the reg. plate could be our way in, what books?"

While going over to his box Ricardo explained. "The ones Ben mentioned in his nightmare warning hopefully Rodney might have kept them as trophies. I think I know them and I should have the original list here it was done for insurance purposes ages ago. Meg had a new list made of all the things in Ocean Drive and what happened to them and I think those books went to the new house. Should take long to compare the list."

Patrick commented to Jude quietly once Ricardo started looking through the files. "He hasn't blown up yet then."

Jude smiled "We've either damped the fuse or he's waiting till Cathy's out the room. What do you think about the garage being part of the deal?"

Patrick pondered "Don't know that would mean he had money to start off with and been in Seattle a longish time. Most likely under different aliases could explain that wide zone we were looking at and he's a long time pro. But why would he take on a jailer job if he had money and a good business. We could check to see if the has garage changed hands recently, you might try in records … but on the other hand we will be there with local knowledge at hand … so do it if you have time … as a second string you know another idea to bounce around.

Its nearly closing time and not everything is on the internet or computer files yet so you'll hit a brick wall soon and we both know waiting is no fun especially as loved ones are involved. So feel free to play with ideas, before I got called away you were talking about letters and cheques not being correct."

Jude got that flutter of nerves thinking about the rest of the evening but squashed it and nodded and explained. "Yes the jailer might have answered our questions when we were checking Ben's accounts for the time Derek took over."

Ricardo gave Patrick the written information about the books and stayed while Jude carried on. "He's clever enough to have known we would check payments so would need to cover his tracks. I'm thinking we should make sure all our enquiries went to the right people and were answered by the right people and if we've got a different address whether that is because they have actually moved or it's the jailer's backup plan."

Ricardo sighed, "Oh joy."

Jude smiled and added. "Well we need something to occupy us." Ricardo rolled his eyes as Jude carried on. "Antonio, you and I and these SWAT officers need to chat." then went back to Patrick as he remembered. "I thought you were bringing food for your slaves?"

Patrick smiled at that little dig about being boss and took the phone number from Jude so his other troops would fly and said. "It's on its way and it's the better quality stakeout finger food … good for the brain so you can work and munch. All I'm going to say is try not to get greasy finger marks on the office copies. Paul's gone to collect a couple of gizmos that hopefully will stop any computer zapping itself as we enter it as well as an extra computer to do a piggyback if needs be … whatever that is."

Getting Jude's slight smile and nod he stepped back knowing he had Ricardo's attention and in a tone that wouldn't actually get him knocked out but would remind them the state of things. "Now remember don't move without telling the Chief and Spence will be around. I'll check with DA about the trophies aspect before I go, it could give us a way into the whole house and office. Hopefully it will be covered by the pile of warrants rather than getting a new the Judges have been talking so that's okay. Right, lots of questions to ask the twosome and hopefully an empty house to search, so ring if you need to but don't necessarily be surprised if it goes to messages, if it's too desperate to go to messages then ring Seattle station and they will get us. Hopefully I if not the others will be back before 10."

Jude nodded and said gently and very seriously. "Yes Boss." Ricardo just nodded.

Patrick took Ricardo's nod at face value but eyed Jude knowing him too well and went on straight faced. "Of course if you get bored you can try and work out the variations for Rodney's real name. R and P seem likely as Ben mentioned Pedro and he has used Peters and used R twice as well."

Jude gave a very long sigh, which made the others laugh as they all knew that was impossible they couldn't know if they had all the letters.

Then there was a brief look between Patrick and Jude, one they both knew as they'd worked together … watched out for each other in dangerous situations … one that gave each other true support and reassurance. They both knew what the real position was … a potential hostage case involving loved ones. One that could go either way if for some reason push came to shove … and it need not be them that pushed that button … **but **also there was a good team on the job.

Then it was over and they gave a nod to each other and Patrick smiled and left.

Jude turned to Ricardo giving and receiving that look of reassurance and support… they were in the same boat and knew the score then he turned his attention to Antonio and to getting on with the job in hand.

Ricardo took the silent support offered knowing tensions would run high as the evening went on and would only end with a safe arrest, and went with Gabi over to the table with the box and they started to look through it though while keeping a eye on their sleeping daughter as well.


	51. Chapter 51

**Chapter 51**

Jude felt he was going to climb the wall for the fifth or sixth time; his emotions had been running from frustration to worry in ever decreasing circles **and** time was passing slowly … not that he really wanted ten o'clock to come … in case his fears were justified … the worse happened. He had to admit there wasn't an exact time or line to be crossed … Patrick had just made that a reasonable time to be back by … that they would have had evidence by then **and** if Annie stayed with Rodney and Maria past that time it didn't mean she would be there all night … that she was or would become a second hostage … he'd guessed the police were on his tail. **It** was just an estimated time nothing more **and** it was getting closer.

He looked over at the clock on the wall yet again and realised it was ten to ten and there was still no news from Seattle, and that was the most frustrating part. They'd had nothing since the check in call … the group had arrived in Seattle and were dealing with things only ring if there was an emergency. And wondered yet again if a phone call asking 'why no phone call to tell them what was going on' could come under the remit of an emergency … after all the waiting was driving them mad.

It wasn't only the not knowing it was the frustration of hitting that black hole … the 'I've gone home for the night please leave a message' or the long unanswered phone that left you wondering if the person had just got there as you rung off and as there wasn't a return number for them to ring you didn't know they were there cursing. Not to mention the internet page down or it went up to the date before the one you were after so the information stopped short and you knew if it just carried it would give you the information you need to start the ball rolling. Then there was the one that had 'web page going up tomorrow' in bright bold letters but no date to say when tomorrow is or was. …

And sighed … he hated evening investigations and the flat times ... especially ones with a personal involvement or someone at risk.

Hearing Jude's sigh Ricardo looked up from the papers he was packing away knowing exactly what he was going through. All evening in spite of the work he'd been seeing different scenarios with Maria ending up dead either because Rodney had taken her hostage and it had gone to the wire and a shoot out **or** she'd not believed the truth and had died trying to protect him. Not to mention the one where Rodney had been arrested as planned in the morning and his sister collapsed devastated by the truth so they'd lost her in a living hell. Having Gabi and Cathy round had helped a bit **but** there were still those moments … slow time that every investigation has and time was ticking away and still no news … which in his book usually meant good news ... but tonight there was that niggle the phone would ring with bad news.

When the computer bleeped to say they had mail they both jumped to it tipping chairs over and hoping it was a quick report from Patrick.

Getting there first Jude sighed it wasn't and it was for Ricardo so he walked away to ponder things or just go up that wall … again.

The trouble was no matter how they tried they could not find out for certain where Rodney came from … Mr Rodney Peters appeared in Seattle when he took Maria there just as the jailer appeared for those months needed … and Pedro was way too common to even contemplate playing with and it was only a given name after all. They did know the house in Seattle had been bought in a private deal and had been on the market at Christmas so gave credence to Rodney's story, and Maria explanation to Antonio that she'd seen it with Rodney liked it so helped buy it and moved in nearly immediately.

Jude could not help thinking that knowing what they did about the man he could have sold the damn thing to himself just to change the name and give the credence to the story he needed. The only trouble with that was the name of the previous owner didn't start with a P or R, because it was a private deal they had no forwarding address to check out. The P or R anyway was really just their fanciful thinking his initials and age could be anything. And to find more history … well that needed feet on the ground in Seattle or people and open offices to be checked in the morning when someone was under lock and key … and those feet on ground weren't ringing in.

He and Ricardo had carried on playing with the information from Seattle as Patrick said they could and the surface history of the garage was interesting … it had been for sale just after Maria's disappearance and then gone off the market but had prospered with the same name and owner or boss. He reckoned someone had bought into a partnership rather than buying out … sleeping partner but couldn't find another name … again one for the morning or those feet on the ground … he knew Patrick had bound to have asked someone.

As for Carol and Juan they had bought their apartments about that time too. Not that they had anything to do with Maria's disappearance it was just a way he could keep tabs on the time line of this confusing story … just something familiar to group things round. Like Rodney those two didn't seem to exist before they bought their apartments and although they were separate on paper he knew in his bones they were a partnership … a couple. This meant they used one apartment probably sublet the other one … possibly to Rodney as they were linked to him. That would enable him to keep off the paper trail so he could con other women … possibly, he was smooth enough and as he progressed he'd not been caught would have got money and possibly what bought into …

"**Jude.**"

He came out of his muse and walked over to Ricardo with a hopeful. "**Well?**"

Ricardo kept his emotions under control knowing his anger would give the wrong impression and explained. "You were right, that damn man wrote to us confirming that the charity **had** received twenty five thousand dollars and in accordance with Ben's past wishes had made no fuss. Because the appeal notice was with the cheque stub the letter went to the address mentioned on it. Hence the correct letter back and stopped any red flags."

He huffed rather than exploded. "**Hell!** It was beautifully done and would have stayed unknown if Ben hadn't told us in that nightmare. We now know the jailer received that money as payment or part payment because it doesn't seem enough for four months kidnapping duties. The other payments were done in the usual way so its not them."

Jude had to agree it was good and organised typical of the jailer's profile and smiled because something was going right and possibly that low time in the investigation was coming … his thoughts stopped as there was a knock on the door which immediately opened.

Antonio popped his head round the door using the rest of it as a shield and asked. "All right to come in now?"

Jude and Ricardo smiled, and Ricardo said for both of them. "Yeah we've both calmed down. How's Gabi and Cathy."

Antonio smiled and then came in saying. "Good I got bored walking the corridor. Cathy's sleeping and Gabi was dozing, she reckons Cathy could feel the tension and that nice SWAT Officer did a good job."

Ricardo snorted then said softly. "Think I'll call him out every night till she sleeps through." … Yeah things had got a bit tense, he and Jude had got a bit short and snappy and Cathy had cried and would not be settled. Who'd have thought the big bruiser SWAT officer turned out to be a gentle giant … perhaps that was why Cathy went to sleep she **knew** she had no option.

Antonio smiled and was glad of their reaction, his brother's especially he knew how he was feeling and carried on to deliver his message. "Jude, the Desk Sergeant said there's a bank manager out front who'd like to see you in answer to your phone message. Said he was passing and decided to do it now rather than in the morning. Does that make sense?"

Feeling that edge Jude said quietly, "Oh another break" and got up adding. "Ricardo will fill you in on the other one."

Instead of talking his brother Ricardo kept his attention on Jude and said. "You can't ask him." seeing him pick up the photo of Rodney and the lady they could not identify with his pen and pad. Lindy had remained a mystery, which wasn't surprising but it all added to the frustration, helplessness and tension that ran through the evening.

Jude looked at Ricardo and relented. "Come with me and we will see. I don't suppose there's anything new about the threesome Antonio."

Antonio shook his head and clarified. "No last report was they were gradually finishing their meal. So I guess they will be back home half an hour after they actually finish. Our guys managed to set up the listening device and officer in the house opposite and there's a small the crew in the corner house."

Jude voiced his thoughts. "Good, let's hope Annie doesn't ask or get asked for a sleepover trouble is if she suspects anything she'll cause trouble… for the right reasons no doubt. You can read Ricardo's notes by the computer if you want to I doubt if we will be long."

Ricardo got up glad to be sitting in on the interview; it would stop his mind going back to the jailer being intelligent and vicious enough to take Maria with him in a shoot out just to leave that added kick of guilt behind. He knew Ben would feel it as well because he reckoned the man couldn't make a true identification of the jailer… he'd only seen a clown's face of some type … and body language didn't stand up in court.

As they walked along the corridor Jude broke into Ricardo's thoughts by asking. "What was that thing about the Charity?"

Ricardo got his mind out of the spiral and into gear and explained. "I did as you suggested checked back on the history of all his pay outs for Charities over the kidnapped period and especially round Christmas Eve 1999 and then I went back to when he first took them out and checked them. I ended up with three different addresses on this one so decided to check the headquarters and web sites. They had a history page of appeals and that one wasn't shown so I checked that the headquarters address was real and then emailed them the details… hence the delay. They just come back with that information and that they've sent all the details to the subsection treasurer and anything from them will come back to us in the morning. It's a big charity right across the States so I don't which part of the morning it will be we might be dealing with a different time zone."

They were close to the reception area so stopped talking and as the SWAT officers still in casual clothes passed them Jude said "Stay in the office and relax, Antonio's down there. Should have word from big brother soon … interrupt us if needs be."

The officers nodded and went on their way.

oxoxo

As they arrived at the reception desk Jude casually checked the gentleman there and decided he didn't look like a typical bank manger even though he wore a dark suit.

Before the Desk Sergeant could say anything the man turned towards them and with a smile said. "Just come from a banking dinner and I checked the bank's messages and got yours. As I have a full day tomorrow and was passing I thought I'd drop in and see if I could fix something and the Sergeant here suggested now, which is fine by me.

Jude nodded and introduced himself and Ricardo then led the way to the interview room.

Once in there they sat round the table and the bank manager said immediately. "I should explain I've only been at this branch this week because the manager and the deputy are away so I don't know how much I can help. And there's not forgetting the usual thing about clients' privacy of course."

"That's fine." Jude said then started to explain. "We are trying to find out if a fraud has taken place today. It is possible it is just a miss understanding in which case it will go no further and the people concerned will not know either. **If** we think a fraud has taken place then we will of course start taking action so you being here now is an advantage. The information we have is that sometime today a cheque was used to start up a business which is to be based out of town and possibly a male and female or just one of them did the presentation. I would assume you as acting manager would deal with that type of transaction rather than one of the clerks on the front desk."

The bank manager gave a slight smile at the vagueness and said. "I did several in fact; do you know the name signed on the cheque?"

Jude sighed knowing this was going to get complicated and said. "Possibly Mrs M Peters or Maria Peters, she wrote the cheque willingly and in good faith, as far as we know it is to be a joint partnership with another lady. This other lady is the one dealing with the paperwork and I assume Mrs Peters had already signed her part of that paperwork. I don't know if she was fully financing or part financing the new business. We believe there is a deadline back in the city of tomorrow morning and Mrs Peters is on holiday here till tomorrow afternoon. So it was decided the other lady should travel down and deal with the paperwork here and then go back to hand it over as confirmation before the deadline.

Due to an unrelated investigation we now believe the whole thing is a con to get money from her and it is possible that the husband maybe involved. Because of this we have to tread very carefully."

Ricardo tried hard to hide the smile at the way Jude had managed to get to it without mentioning or using the photo and waited with bated breath hoping the bank manager would take up the story and tell it without there prompting.

The bank manager thought back and worked out what exact he could say knowing the rules about privacy etc. He knew that where fraud was thought to have taken place he could give certain facts …his job was not only to protect clients but money as well … the fact they thought the woman might be being taken for a ride by her husband meant it could get extremely messy. He came to his decision and said. "You understand that Peters is a common surname." Jude nodded as the man carried on. "No one started up a business using a cheque signed by Maria Peters or Mrs Peters today but I did see a cheque made out to a charity account signed by a Mrs Maria Peters."

Jude hadn't expected that one and felt a rush of possibilities and asked. "Was it a large one?"

The bank manager smiled and then said softly "That's a matter of opinion … it was for ten thousand dollars, the only reason it crossed my desk was because she wanted the other account moved over into the larger account as well. So it was the two transactions done at the same time."

Jude knew the amount was big enough start up a small business with or without the help of another person and briefly wondered if Lindy had passed it off as a Charity business to Maria. She'd never given a name to Ricardo just said they were starting it off and what if it was the same charity as the other one and asked hopefully. "You said **she** … could you describe her and were you happy with the transaction."

The bank manger thought for a moment then said slowly. "To be honest, yes but I was also slightly uneasy ... everything about the deal was right. She had the right documents regarding the account knew what was going to happen. She was putting in the donation and moving an account to another one, it was from a paper account to electronic banking account hence my supervision and the phone check to make sure it was all correct. ... I don't know if you remember but there was a big fraud case last year, not with this bank another one when some money disappeared shortly after being put into an electronic account and that account disappeared so the money was lost to the client."

Jude nodded knowing it had been a big case and wanting clarification said. "So it was doing it that way rather than her that made you uneasy."

The man smiled and said. "Yes I think so. But also looking at me you might not expect me to head a bank … more like a swimmer in a suit perhaps."

Jude smiled as he nodded and the man smiled and explained further. "I do swim actually, but because of an illness which was causing my hair to fall out in chunks I shaved my head for charity. I thought it was a good way of getting it done at once, avoiding endless well meaning questions and getting money for a good cause. I'm working part time hence travelling bank manager, less long term stress so they say. Also in my line of work I've learnt not to judge people by looks alone … more voice and body language etc. If I walked past the lady concerned in the street I would have said she was a lady of the night … if you understand me, and that was due to her dress and she wore a wig."

Ricardo and Jude just about managed a nod and let the man carry on. "No doubt if my wife had been with me on the street she would have hurried me on with a few well chosen words. The lady's manner however was that of a confident educated business lady and she explained her appearance without being asked as being a confidence booster after an illness hence the wig. I didn't feel the needed to ask for more details and commented that she and her charity work were obviously doing well.

When I came here it was just to arrange an appointment for the morning now though your information has got me worried, this lady was dealing with a charity and that means public donations so I'll give you any general details I can. Thinking about it if you need to take it further we could supply an 'in bank' photo but she was wearing a wig I don't suppose it will do any good."

"Keep the tape it will give time and date if it's needed." Jude then pondered out loud, knowing Ricardo would be feeling as cautiously excited as he was. "She obviously knew her wig extra was a good cover and she didn't mind you checking the things because she knew they would come out right. Are your phone calls recorded for monitoring purposes?"

"I think it's usually ones coming in that are monitored but it could be different so I'll check first thing."

Jude nodded and carried on, "If there's a recording keep it and any other record of the call being made. I expect the number you rang was to her partner on a throw away phone but it's worth a try. Can you remember the name of the charity and was it based in Sunset Beach."

The bank manger made some notes in a small note book he always kept with him and then answered. "Yes, according to the documents the account was opened on 27th December 1999 in Castletown and its called Countryside Charity and I believe the total to be transferred was around seventy thousand dollars. The main charity has branches all over the States."

Ricardo swore which made Jude look at him sharply and he explained. "That's the charity." and knew not to go further at the moment, they didn't want to get sidetracked.

Jude nodded feeling elated they had the break but they needed to be careful and asked. "How much was the original amount do you know."

The bank manager looked at the pair and said slowly wondering what he'd got himself into. "According to the book there were two donations. The opening amount was twenty five thousand dollars the other one was sometime in January and for around ten thousand dollars."

Jude's heart nearly stopped and he hardly dared ask the next question but did. "Regarding the twenty five thousand dollars I don't suppose you know the date and who signed that cheque."

Sensing something was definitely up the man looked at Jude and asked. "Why?"

Jude sighed and knew he had to go further even if it made things complicated and said. "It's possible that the person who signed that cheque did so under threat and that account was therefore opened by someone impersonating the real person and that cheque was in fact payment for another crime that had been carried out against the threatened person earlier."

The bank manager silently went back over that statement and realised things had definitely got complicated and could get ugly then said. "Sorry, but I don't know how it was made up it was just a statement in the book she did explained it was a result of a Christmas appeal that went very well. Perhaps the Castletown branch of the bank could help. I can say that the account or saving plan was an unusual one so I reckon a professional must have given them some very good advice. I do know it was date specific that means an early withdrawal meant loss of all the interest, it was due and because she'd got the donation from this area wanted to do it all in the nearest branch and that was this one. Otherwise I assumed she would have done it at her usual bank at Castletown."

Trying to keep his excitement out of his voice Jude said. "Okay, could you give me the woman's details so we can check it out and of course I'd rather you didn't tell anyone about this?"

"You think this woman is part of a con job then."

Jude had to be careful now and said. "If we find out there is no branch of the charity in Castletown then it's possible. We believe Mrs Peters was under the impression she was opening a business in Seattle, you say you received a cheque for a charity from a Maria Peters that was a donation and then paid into another account. Can you remember which bank her cheque was made on?"

"The same as mine but based in Seattle and the name of the charity was stamped on rather than written."

Ricardo nodded knowing that Ben and Maria had banked with the main one in town so it was reasonable to assume she'd transferred everything to the one in Seattle and printed name meant it could have been done afterwards or Maria hadn't thought it important that they working for a charity.

Jude registered it and carried on. "That's the bank we know Mrs Peters has used in the past though it was a different branch of course. I think we need the extra information to carry out an investigation into the two things and it's looking likely the electronic account is part of the fraud and could be their main account."

The bank manager took a moment to get it right in his mind then said. "Fair enough, her name is Mrs Lynette Cortes, The Sea House, Castletown and the address of the charity was 48 Main Street, Castletown. She took all the documents away with her but I've got our forms in the office you can have those."

Jude wrote the addresses and looked at the time it was ten o'clock and said. "She wasn't worried by you taking notes so I expect they will lead to a dead end."

"All the documents looked right, the phone call went through and the electronic account looked established, there was no reason for me doubt it at all."

Jude nodded; he would not expect anything else from the guy and he reckoned he would need Paul if their IT officer for part of this and said. "I know and if we are right I reckon everything has been moved on by now. It's possibly that by looking for it could destroy evidence so I'd like a member of our staff to check your computer in the morning. I'd don't know if you want to do this now or before any members of staff turn up tomorrow … either way I would like you to leave your computer off and isolate it from the others and make sure no one has access to it. If you can leave me your personal number I'll contact you if we should need to get into the bank before opening hours. In the meantime don't mention it to anyone."

The bank manger wrote the details down and handed them over and asked. "Not even my present boss? You'll need a warrant for the forms and to get into the computer."

Jude took the details knowing the man needed to cover his actions and reassured him. "We will have the paperwork with us; I take it your present boss is the one who runs the main branch in town.

"Yes."

"That's okay we know each and he trusts my judgement and I'll contact him tonight. I also come under FBI fraud jurisdiction so it's all covered. Thank you very much for coming in."

The man nodded and said. "That's okay then. I'll see you or an officer in the morning."

They got up and shook hands and then escorted the bank manager out.

oxoxo

As they walked down the corridor Ricardo said quietly, though he felt excited by what they'd learnt. "That charity does not exist in Castletown, the nearest one is LA and that's the one Ben supported."

Jude nodded letting everything run through his mind and as they entered the office the SWAT officers and Antonio looked up expectantly.

Jude asked. "Any news?"

"No, nothing boss."

Jude sighed. "Right," and turned to Ricardo "What date was that cheque."

"22 December and it was the last one on the sheet. He's paid extra cheques to that charity in the past, but they were way before the kidnapping so they must be all right. Do you think Ben thought that was how Derek paid the jailer and that's how it became part of the warning nightmare?"

Jude sighed "Yeah could be. We need to check that Castletown address see if it will give us a hint of something. I'm also wondering if Rodney is getting ready to pull out."

Antonio and Ricardo looked at him so he voiced his thoughts. "Maria paid for a new car, no doubt put money into his business and now we find twenty five thousand in December 1999 plus another for ten thousand and very good interest, then you add her ten thousand today and it's all gone into an electronic account. Could be the one that's hidden the other money and as this Lynette has appeared might be his next or previous partner; we also got a Juan Cortes so I wondering if it could be a family name. The only thing against it is if he actually owns that garage..." His phone ringing interrupted him and he muttered. "Let's hope this is Patrick."

He sighed as he answered the voice at the other end. "Hank how are things." He listened then said. "Bring the whole family over if he wants come and AJ will provide the flight if needs be, not sure where they would stay thought." …. …. … "That would be a good idea and thank you, I'll check with Helen in the morning I've not heard anything other than Ben's sleeping." … ... … "No don't push him if he stays silent, might be a case of you coming back alone and he comes later we'll stay fluid on it." ………….. "Okay we'll talk then, thanks and goodnight."

He rang off and the door opened and Jude suddenly felt as though everything was happening at once as the Desk Sergeant said. "They've left the restaurant no one is going to tail them as the roads are very quiet and they don't want him sensing anything."

"Okay thanks. I don't suppose any word from Patrick?"

"No sorry." The Desk Sergeant answered and went out.

oxoxo

While Jude had been on the phone Ricardo had gone across to the computer weighing things up and checked the addresses and called out. "Different name at those addresses … person and business. If he's moving on she'll be devastated ... **Hell **she'll be that anyway. Surely he's better off with her the divorcee and the house was over a million, we're talking about thousands … peanuts and they looked good together. You saw how he reacted to her distress and what about the car it's not exactly small and it could be traced within hour of her being left and calling us in." he was going into full concerned brother mode now.

Jude nodded knowing those concerns were better out than in went to the white board and added the information saying. "Yeah I know and it's just a thought as though things are being collected up, perhaps he just wanted pocket money. Perhaps he thought he could swap it for the original Seattle one and would drive that one away. But that one is not there now that would be a shock for him. Maria mentioned cousins so perhaps it is a family name but would you shorten Lynette to Lyndy though."

The others had come round the board to read the information Jude had put up and the SWAT officer said. "No it would be Lyn unless it's a nickname by running two parts of two names together and the other one is Di or Dy."

Jude pondered and nodded and said. "Trouble is we don't know where this third player is. Mac you two sort everything out for moving in tonight and or a stop further down the road due to pick up or drive off."

The SWAT officer nodded and went in a huddle with his partner.

Ricardo looked at Jude who shrugged and added quietly. "If he did want to move on quietly he could do while she sleeps, she's had a good night with a friend looking forward to seeing Carmen in the morning so relaxed, tired and secure sleeps heavily and he creeps out and drives away. There's also the possibility that this woman has been watching us or the Mission or hanging round the town or the street they are staying in. She could know that Ben's at the Garden Centre though I don't think any of the club people there would breathe a word. Word is they are quite protective of the couple after seeing the reunion with Betsy and as they could have read the papers might not be too happy about answering anyone's questions.

He picked up the office phone and dialled when answered he said. "I need all officers out of view the car and everything looks natural Rodney etc should be coming through soon, tell me when they pass though." He listened to the reply and looked over at Ricardo and said. "I got a rather short sharp 'Why do you think I'm still under the flowerpot'" and smiled as he added. "So I guess they are being good. Sort of begs the question as to where they put the damn car."

Ricardo smiled and nodded looking at the clock realised it was gone ten and he felt less edgy and knew that was because something had started to move. He looked over as door opened and Gabi walking in he smiled and walked over to her and asked gently. "Too quiet for you."

Gabi smiled and nodded pleased at his greeting and said. "Cathy sleeping like log and has another babysitter and I needed a break, so how's things."

Ricardo hugged her and then when they broke said. "Suddenly moving we've found the cheque payment and another name though it might not go anywhere and something's nagging at the back of my mind so I'm going to check over the records and hope it bounces out at me. Hanks rung in I'll check about that in a moment, I expect he'll ring Patrick in a minute regardless of rules." They were moving back to the table with flies and boxes on it when Jude's mobile rang.

Jude looked at it and sighed. "It's Bob."

Everyone stopped and looked over at him while he answered it and listened to the short message. As everyone was looking at him expectantly he said. "I'm taking this next door. No one moves till I get back." Because of their expressions and knowing they could not have missed his initial reaction he added. "Ben's collapsed and it doesn't look good." and walked out dreading what he was going to be told.


	52. Chapter 52

(In this chapter italics indicate things only Ben can see and hear. Bold indicates Ben speaking and the others can hear him.)

**Chapter 52**

Meg quietly plodded back from the bathroom and climbed on her bed to go to sleep. Glancing at the clock that showed it was a quarter to ten she fretted silently to herself. - She should be feeling tired. … Well she was. It had been a long day even without the emotional surges that Ben's progress or lack of, had produced. … So, she should give in and go to sleep. … After all he was sort of sleeping and knowing her luck would be up with the sunrise. ... But she didn't want to … she wanted to watch over him in case he woke and needed her. … His movement would wake her … it hadn't this morning ... then the others will and they will wake you … so you can go to sleep now.

Instead doing what she just reasoned she should do she looked over at her soulmate … who'd not stirred all evening in spite of the fact they hadn't been exactly quiet around him when changing over watches, and wondered if the silence as they sleep would make him curious and start the waking process. And when he woke, would he talk or be silent … would he remember he was safe here or feel … be a total stranger to them … and would he remember when gently prodded … and would it be his past or just today … and would it be the good things or bad things … the nightmares in all their forms and glory.

Shivering slightly at that thought she looked towards the open doorway into the rest of the chalet, knowing Tim and Helen were already dozing in the lounge area and silently huffed 'And so should you.' but it didn't work. She still wasn't willing to give into herself and turned her attention back to the bedroom and to Bob, who was totally relaxed with his legs stretched out in front of him in comfy chair against the wall and his crutches within easy reach.

She knew he could move fairly easily even though his knee was braced and could them both because of the garden nightlight and wondered if that light was the reason she couldn't sleep. … If so she shouldn't have been able to sleep at her new home, Surf Central or Ocean Drive because they all had some form of street lighting outside. Or at the farm because the moonlight could be very bright indeed, which meant that wasn't reason. ... She just didn't want to sleep … but she should … needed to … he needed her to ... he needed her bright and cheerful tomorrow.

Trying to keep this positive thought she tucked her hair behind her ears and snuggled into the blanket and the pillows she'd piled around her side and back. She fidgeted everything into place so she could see the dark hair over the short headboard and decided she would watch her soulmate's shape for just a little while and glanced again at Bob who she was sure was fast asleep.

And heard a gentle quiet "Sleep Meg its okay" from him though he'd not stirred or opened his eyes.

She smiled guessing her fidgeting hadn't been as silent as she thought or perhaps he could feel her watching him or could read her mind and snuggled back into the pillows and gradually relaxed as the quietness seeped into her system. Her mind slowed and her eyes were closing for the second or third time when she was startled awake and alert … by movement and a thump of something falling to the floor in the room.

It was Ben's bag thumping on the floor out the way as he got out of bed and took a couple of steps into the gap and stopped. As he moved he waved one arm in the air when he stopped he was facing Meg and yelled accusingly in fury and shock. **"You Drugged Me!!"**

Bob already alert had seen Ben's eyes were open and knew he was deep in memory and they could be in trouble. From the yelled words he immediately considered it was something regarding the kidnapping in Seattle.

Meg sat stiffened in horror at Ben's accusation and was going to vehemently deny it when she saw Bob's violent shake of his head with his fingers to his lips for her silence. Somehow she stilled feeling little tremors of shock and fear run through her, knowing she'd never drugged him and started to realise he was in his own world and didn't see her at all... so it wasn't her he was yelling at.

_In the free area of lounge between the kitchen and the sofa at Ocean Drive, the cup Ben had thrown away bounced on the carpet spilling the rest of the tea, and Ben stood facing the stairs and his betrayer. He'd trusted her, been thirsty after the shock and tensions of earlier and had taken two quick gulps of the offered tea and sympathy. But as he swallowed the second gulp his mind and body went on alert recognising the tang of the drug and who'd given it in the past, shocked and puzzled asked. __**"Why Maria?"**_

Ice cold shock ran through Meg as she heard his question and then she felt the bed move and Helen's arm go round her shoulders and heard her whispered. "Not a sound Meg."

Helen felt Meg's acceptance and knew if Ben heard Meg or even their voices at the moment it could cause a complete and possibly fatal collapse.

Shocked by the revelation Bob's mind spun to the ugly truth … Maria was not a victim and they'd been wrong about so many things. He saw Tim come in through the doorway from the garden and silently put his bag safe and knew if Ben ran that way he would be stopped, and Helen would deal with Meg and help if necessary. He also knew he had to let this scene play out and hope for a quieter one … one where he could to talk Ben as he had earlier and prove he'd won the battle and then talk the man safely back to them.

_Realising he'd not drunk enough to be knocked out immediately, but knew it would slow him down and his mind would be clear for awhile Ben looked away from Maria as the front door to their home opened. Seeing the man come in, close the door and start to walk towards them he knew he had to bargain not for his life but for that of his nephew and possibly even Meg's if his suddenly clear thoughts were right. He looked back to his betrayer and came face to face with the barrel of a gun aimed at his forehead. _

_He stilled and looked straight at her face, knowing he might be drugged but he was not going to show fear, he hadn't in the basement and he would not now, and said quietly knowing the jailer was approaching. __**"**_**So that's why I had to kneel looking down at the floor earlier. Not so the jailer could escape with the money but so he could hand you the gun and drug and you hand him the front door key. I suppose you rang him just know now to say you were going to do it and it would be safe for him to come in. Why Maria, you'll have money and freedom … did Derek hurt you so much I must pay the price as well? … You must know the jailer will kill you regardless of any deal you've made with him … he won't leave any witnesses."**

Meg had stuffed her fist in her mouth to stop herself from screaming as she started to realise how and when her soulmate had been betrayed. And as tears and a silent sob ran through her shivering body she felt Helen's embrace tighten slightly.

From Ben's head movement Bob reasoned a second person had entered the room and guessed it had to be the jailer before the name had been mentioned. He also reasoned as Ben had not jumped Maria she must be holding the gun Ben mentioned and silently got up ready to help him should he try to flee from a room totally different from the one he believed he was in.

_The gun didn't move as Maria smiled and admitted softly. "He's my husband so he will not kill me."_

_Still looking at her the shock tore through Ben mixing with everything else and as certain things became strangely clear he knew what he had to do and said calmly.__** "**_**No wonder you could not remember your lost years in Seattle. Did you divorce me with my brother's help or just forget you were married to me at all**_**."**__ then looked to one side as the jailer was closer and commented knowing they wouldn't let him live. _**"See you are still hiding your identity.****Do I get to know your name before you kill me? Not that you will get a dime if my body is found here or they think I'm dead.**_**"**_

_The jailer looked at him and ignoring the question ordered sharply "Take it off!" and held out his hands expecting immediate compliance but stayed out of the man's reach, he knew what Ben could do if push came to shove._

_Ben watched the man and asked calmly.__** "**_**You want my jacket?**_**"**_

_The jailer nodded and added menacingly. "I WILL kill the boy. SHE will not stop me."_

_Ben looked back at Maria and into the gun barrel and saw her nod and heard her quiet and firm. "Do it Ben, then kneel and put your hands behind your back."_

_Ben knew he had no choice and slowly took his jacket off and with one hand held it out to the jailer. Then still not taking his gaze off the gun or Maria he took a step back as he knelt down and put his hands behind his back so his wrists touched, and felt the jailer's hands clip the handcuffs on then move away so he could see him again. Not once did he cower even though it brought back bad memories and stopped his slim chance of escape. _

Watching and understanding the movements Bob could see the handcuffs go round Ben's wrists and the barrel of the gun pointing at his forehead, and knew the fear and confusion that must have been running though the man's mind. He was amazed that Ben had managed to think clearly enough to in the end save everyone's lives. Glancing at Tim he saw him shake his head, then checking with Helen saw the same movement and knew he had to wait a little longer before trying to talk to Ben and hoping it wouldn't be too long before he could do it went back to watching and reasoning what was happening ... had happened Christmas Day morning.

_The jailer quickly searched Ben's jacket, found the wallet and cash card as he tucked them into his own pocket said quietly. "Pedro not that it will be of use to you." Finishing his search he dropped the jacket out the way on the floor and added. "So, why can't we have your fortune if we kill you?" and waited menacingly for his answer._

_Still looking at the gun barrel and Maria Ben ignored the jailer and asked her. __**"**_**Were we ever married?**_**"**_

_Maria gave a soft laugh and shook her head enjoying the power rush the gun and the situation gave her._

_With shattered feelings running through him Ben said softly.__** "**_**Well I glad Meg's my wife even if she never knows it." **_then carried on in a more normal tone feeling he needed to know._** "So you must have met and married Pedro before you met me. What was I a fling on the side to provide a nest egg for your future and what … my brother and the storm came along and disturbed things.**_**"**_

_Maria nodded and said softly. "Let's just say it made things more interesting than the original plan. Everyone knows booze and headache pills don't go together so the Mariah in the bay with no one aboard would tell your tragic story. I of course would have raised the alarm first thing saying you'd left home with a bad headache thinking the evening sail alone might clear it and do you good. No one knew I was aboard the Mariah I made sure of that and with a bit of cleaning work back at the house it would have still have worked. Pedro was waiting in the bay to help get rid of your body and give me the unseen trip back to shore."_

_Ben nodded still feeling strangely calm … knew it made sense and put the rest together saying. __**"**_**So he plucked you out of the stormy waters and you went to Seattle and at some point joined up with Tess and Derek after you found out you hadn't killed him. Was that bit a shock, a disappointment or an added bonus?"**

_Maria stayed silent and nodded. _

_He wasn't worried about not knowing he now had something he could use and asked in a tone with edge. __**"**_**If you love Pedro that much why wait for just over three years before trying to kill me Maria?"**

_Maria smiled and answered softly. "Your growing fortune and he had a commitment to his wife." _

"**Did he kill his so called wife?**_**"**__ He asked wondering if it was all part of their marriage vows._

_Maria laughed and said. "No, himself on the day I nearly drowned."_

_Ben couldn't help the sad smile as he said.__** "**_**So he's a dead man walking … a bit of habit in this area … but I guess he wasn't from Sunset Beach otherwise someone would have noticed you coming and going. Instead you both had other marriages to keep you warm give you satisfaction.**_**" **_

_Maria stayed silent and gave a brief shake of her head not willing to be drawn into a long explanation. _

_Ben sighed__and could not help the comment in that soft tone with an edge.__** "**_**Must have been an interesting threesome here since September ... you sleeping with Tess's husband while hubby was all alone guarding me in Seattle …**_**" **__He ducked his head to one side as the jailer started to hit out at him._

_The blow never landed as it was stopped by Maria's quiet but sharp "Stop it!" _

_When Ben looked up again after getting his balance back he found he still looked down the barrel of the never wavering gun and the jailer now stood beside Maria. From the threat in both their eyes and body language he knew Benjy's life was in danger and he had to answer Pedro's question, and said calmly to his betrayer._**"I'm guessing you wouldn't do the tearful … please the jailer attacked us and killed Ben story as that could lead to a big investigation and them getting on his tail by accident. … The scientist can do so much these days so the description of a clown running won't hack it and you'll need DNA as a clean scene will also tell its own story. **

**So, when my body is found in the waves in the morning are you hoping to play the distressed widow and brave woman who is willing to look after the distraught nephew? Or where you going to be the only one left standing … wake up and discover Benjy had been smothered by his wicked uncle who'd then drowned or shot himself in remorse or was I going to be shot in self defence as I attacked you thereby allowing you to play the traumatised victim once again. After my death then what … you find comfort in a stranger who would take you away from all the unhappy memories here and you both just happen to end up in Seattle? **

_He noted the flicker of reaction to his scenarios and carried on. __**"**_**No doubt Pedro would have carried my sleeping body out into the waves so the seawater in my lungs would tell the right story. I expect he'd even give you the necessary bruises if you fancied the attack version. He knows how to bruise without breaking anything, but would he stop at just that once Maria. You did ask him to do it so you couldn't complain if he did it again could you and he will do it again he enjoys that power." **

**Of course, to shoot me you'd have to explain the gun and where it came from, which would be interesting of they traced it back to Seattle. I've not had one in the house for quite awhile and Ricardo knows it, also I've been with Benjy so had no chance to buy one, and you've been at the police station so could not get one either. You can't say Derek had one either I believe the police had a quick look around when they dealt with Tess's room before I got back with Benjy. **

**You would also have to get over the fact I have no reason till kill myself or Benjy. Yes I may mourn my twin's loss but I would not voluntarily join him or kill his son and everyone knows I love Meg. You can't claim the divorce is not going to happen Charles knows the papers are here to be collected first thing and you can't destroy my phone message to him either. There is also the fact that the police, your brother and Meg would be very suspicious at my death no matter what the circumstances, and you would be an automatic serious suspect not the unhappy victim you wish to be. **

_He paused for a brief moment to steadying his racing thoughts knowing this was a side affect of the drug and then said._ "**I was surprised you even thought about adopting Benjy no matter how strong your so called love was, I thought it might be some kind of guilt and that's why I suggested to you and to Charles on the phone that you might want to quietly undo the adoption and suggested Tess's sister instead. **

**I'm guessing you need a life long hold over Tess so she'll not tell the truth about those years in Seattle. You don't need him to live with you to keep her silence as long as you two are free and he is alive she will stay silent, she'll know you can swoop in and snatch him is she talks. He is just a child whose memories will die if he is away from you and Sunset Beach. If he is around you and Pedro you will never be able to talk about your past in case he suddenly pops up with a memory at an inappropriate moment. In any case do you think your husband really wants a constant reminder of the man you slept with for four months especially when it could have been over in days? I've no doubt your memory returned early as you had so much to hide."**

_The looks he got from Pedro caused him to pause till Maria said softly. "Go on and we'll think about." _

_Ben felt cold inside not only at what he was doing but what his body was going through. Although he'd not had the full dose of the drug his body and mind was reacting automatically knowing what was coming next. From the quick clear mind he had now to the leaden limbs to the wozzy feeling into unconsciousness and then the bad trip coming out of it on waking. Though he reckoned he'd miss the last bit even if he managed to keep these two separate and said. __**"**_**Quietly change your mind about the adoption and let Meg and Benjy live, my life will be enough. Just move away and the threat they present will go away as life goes on. Take the divorce settlement and the money from the sale of this house and meet Pedro as a stranger and then go back to Seattle and live your life there. If you stay here you will have to be on your guard the whole time, after all your mother and brothers are no fools any of them might sense or catch on about your past love and life and start asking questions. And you know Ricardo is like a dog with a favourite bone when he gets a whiff on an idea. He will guard it, possibly bury it for awhile but will go back and chew on it … a little at a time … till he gets answers no matter how long it takes; I know that from your supposed drowning. **

**Suicide or murder and suicide either way you'd have the doctors round your neck for months possibly years because of your past and the trauma you should have witnessed. Could you hold your story for that long and at that depth? Remember silence or not knowing would make them give you more treatment not less. Oh I know you will kill me but if I die here you will gain nothing but trouble."**

_He saw the flicker of interest in her eyes and paused to let the wave of slight giddiness from the drug pass and then said casually._** "I wrote my Will yesterday and Charles saw me sign it so it can not be challenged and it will be carried out, Maria. My copy is in the desk if you want to read it but the short story is … if I die before the divorce settlement goes through, then everything but Benjy's settlement is classed as my fortune … my estate and you don't get a dime. **

**Because I know money corrupts my fortune is to be turned slowly into cash, then after two charities have been given a sum the rest is divided amongst the families of everyone in Sunset Beach at a certain date. By my dying now you would not be in it but I expect your mother might give you a dim or two. But could you be seen to take it from her. Meg is covered in the same way as the others are and don't even think of Benjy's settlement that stays ring-fenced so tight you will have to account for every dime you spend on him. **

_Ben stopped because he felt hot and cold shivery and his limbs ached and as Pedro shifted to talk to Maria his fading consciousness caught something that made awareness and knowledge rush through him. He needed them separate and Pedro's immediate attention so he said.__** "**_**I know my life is forfeit but not here, the messages I'm going away can stay. I've no doubt you Pedro will be able through emails to prove I'm alive and on a supposed business deal might be able to max out the card you've tucked away. You'll have to be careful not to raise flags though.**

**Oh I would be missed eventually and Ricardo will sniff and dig around. But being away from Sunset Beach you will be free from suspicion. Stay here and you will be looked at no matter how long in the future it was. Its difficult to dig a hole deep and big enough so the body doesn't get dug up by dogs and the sea tides around here would cause it to be washed up in a day or so and the DNA would spoil you story. You'll have to drive me possibly to the cliffs near Castletown that way if it surfaces it will be further down the coast and also it will enable you to get back here quickly and be close by your wife just in case she decides she wants something different, after all you've been apart for quite awhile.**_**"**_

_He stopped knowing his final dig had hit home because Pedro glared at him and quickly stepped forward while pulling a cloth from his pocket. Ben didn't cower as Pedro quickly gagged him he needed the man to know he wasn't afraid of him and whatever had worried him was gone. He knew they would need to talk again and perhaps now he could rest gain some strength make another plan. Slowly he eased his weight back so he was resting on his heels rather than his aching knees and Pedro backed away to stand by Maria. For a brief moment they stood together watching him then they started talking quietly together. _

_Feeling the tingling effects of the drug through his limbs and as it started to eat at his consciousness again Ben concentrated on the gun that was still pointing at him. It brought him back to churning thoughts and he hoped he'd made the right decisions for Benjy's and Meg's sake. And felt searing pangs of guilt for the pain they would feel because of his deceit … he tried to calm them by the reasoning that Benjy and Meg would at least they'd be alive … might be alive. He knew he was unlikely to survive … Derek had made sure Pedro knew his strengths and weakness … and once Pedro had killed him there was really no stopping them…… _

Bob saw Ben's calm acceptance of something being put in or around his mouth … and reasoned it was a gag; he'd expected the man to go flying from a blow after his final dig at Maria's character … faithfulness. And knew Ben's ploy to take some control back of the situation had worked … the Jailer couldn't risk injuring him yet and new plans to sort out. He saw the sag of the shoulders and him leaning back onto his heels and guessed the man was trying to rest. Trying to work out the next step if there was one, fight the drug and fear that must have been going through his system and hope he would in someway win. He was truly amazed at the man and itched to tell him that he'd won through and everyone was safe.

He looked briefly over at Meg saw tears streaming down her face as well as the fist in her mouth and couldn't blame her Ben was facing her and it was a horrible truth. As he looked at her he saw Helen giving her quiet reassurances she looked at him over Meg's head and gave a nod. He quickly glanced at Tim and got another look and nod and with racing heart understood the silent messages.

It was time to move. – Ben was no longer verbally fighting for his life so might accept another voice in his head and one he would recognise as being one from after these horrific events … proof that he had lived through them.


	53. Chapter 53

(Italics indicate things only Ben can see, hear, think or feel.

Words in Bold indicate Ben is speaking and the others in the room can hear him.)

**Chapter 53**

Bob breathed slowly to steady himself and moved silently towards Ben knowing that kneeling, cuffed and gagged, waiting for your nephew's fate to be decided while understanding your own fate was not a good time to be knocked into a coma. Or, into that circular state of fragmented nightmares that disappeared on waking leaving you silent and unable to put things back together again. But, he knew he had to do this … had to get inside Ben's head … he could not let this man travel this route alone, again. He had to somehow let him know that this time and any other time he might go through it … it was a memory and not the real thing happening again … and hopefully by doing this he would bring him home whole and sane.

Tim also moved silently closer to them knowing his help would be needed in getting Ben up from the kneeling position and over to the bed because Bob couldn't do it by himself without harming his knee. And he knew he might be needed if Ben collapsed or hit out blindly on hearing another voice coming into what he was living through.

Knowing all the pitfalls and the other person who might act unpredictably Helen hugged Meg that little bit closer, but she too would be ready to act if the worse came to the worse.

With fear and shock continuing to rush through her, Meg accepted Helen's restraining/reassuring hug knowing if it wasn't there she would be beside her soulmate trying to wake him … console him ... and ask for forgiveness. Sensing the rise in tension as Bob and Tim moved towards Ben the fleeting question … 'could this get any worse' … rushed through her already troubled mind, and fearing the answer was 'yes' felt another tear run down her cheek to join the others.

oxoxo

Knowing Tim was nearby Bob stopped a little in front and to one side of Ben and said gently but firmly. "Ben"

_Ben was concentrating on not collapsing, controlling his pain and racing thoughts when a voice calling his name made him shiver violently as his mind fragment into fleeting impressions._

_As things settled immediately back to where they had been a small part of him recognised the voice as friendly but not whose it was. Another noticed Maria and Pedro hadn't reacted to the voice calling his name they'd just carried on talking as if nothing had happened. So perhaps he was the only one who heard it … if so was this a new twist to drug in his body. Boost his hopes for rescue so they could squash them, but nothing else felt different and his racing mind questioned why wasn't it Casey's voice he was a friend and a lifeguard why did he hear a stranger's voice._

_He couldn't answer that nor the voice because he was gagged and if he moved his head to see who'd spoken … find out if someone was really there or not Maria and Pedro would see him move. Rescuer or not she would shoot him and smoother Benjy then claim self defence … he couldn't risk it … he would stay still assume it was his racing mind and let it pass unnoticed._

_He swayed slightly feeling the drug taking hold again, knew it came in waves and his limbs would soon start to feel very sluggish so be no good for fighting as he'd hoped. And wondered if because he heard the voice he would now black out now and it would all end. All be over for him and prayed if he did then these two would chose the right path and Benjy would not grow up a pawn and Meg would forgi…._

"Ben do you recognise my voice?" Bob asked hoping that shiver and swaying were a reaction to his voice and not what happened Christmas morning.

_Ben shivered as he stopped swaying and wanted to tell that strange reassuring voice to shut up … but couldn't he was gagged. … Into the muddle in his mind there was a strange flicker of memory – he'd heard that voice while sitting by the roadside hurting and cold … and knew he could trust it. He lost that as something else flickered - a pond and a girl laughing. And it was gone but he vaguely realised there were from beyond this hell. But how he was in the lounge at Ocean Drive kneeling, cuffed, gagged and Benjy and Meg might not be safe if they just… _

Seeing the shiver Bob hoped he was in there and could prove to Ben he was not where the thought he was and said gently but firmly. "Ben you lived through what you are seeing and feeling around you. I found you on the roadside and helped you. You lost consciousness and woke at the farm without a memory and helped a young girl named Betsy overcome her grief and talk again.

I need you to trust me when I say Benjy and Meg and you are safe.

You are not gagged or handcuffed, but you are kneeling and I would like you to get up and sit on the bed so we can talk. You may not be able to get out of what you are seeing but don't worry I will be with you through this nightmare and be there when you wake."

_Ben could feel the gag in his mouth, feel the cuffs round his wrists, the drug in his veins and could see Maria and Pedro discussing his death … So how could he not be there._

_Slowly other disconnected pictures/thoughts flicked through his confused mind - showing a stable with a fire and snow on the ground; roadside sleeping places in the sun, cold and rain and then people smiling and laughing. _

_He shivered violently, swayed and shook his head … it was too much … too confusing… _

Seeing action was needed Bob and Tim were now either side of Ben and very gently but firmly steadied him as they took hold of his arms and then guided them round from the back to in front of him so he would understand that he was free and could move. Realising that saying Tim's name would confuse things even more Bob hoped Ben wouldn't realise there were two people helping him and said. "Now rest on my hands and stand up Ben. You are free and I will lead you over to the bed where you can sit and we can talk. You are not gagged."

_Ben felt really weird because he was being steadied by someone he could not see and his arms were being gently guided to the front of him. Another shiver ran through him as he realised he wasn't handcuffed but he could still feel the gag in his mouth, was still in Ocean Drive kneeling in front of Pedro and Maria… _

_But the voice had just proved he wasn't cuffed so could he trust it … trust it when it said he could move and talk … trust it as he had sometime before. And suddenly he knew he'd seen Meg and Betsy and had heard that voice in a familiar setting and knew he could trust it again … would trust it again. _

_Slowly ready to freeze in case he was wrong and it was just the drug misleading him he put pressure on the hands he knew were capable of supporting him and unsteadily stood up and accepted their support and guidance. And found it very strange because nothing changed he was still in Ocean Drive kneeling in front of Pedro and Maria. _

oxoxo

Between them Bob and Tim carefully guided Ben back so he sat safely on the edge of the bed and Bob sat beside him. Tim slightly reluctantly walked quietly back towards the gap between the bed and the garden, knowing this was really between Bob and Ben a third could cause problems. Being here he would be nearby with his medical kit and if Ben tried running for any reason.

Feeling it was safe Helen now relaxed her hug around Meg and eased further onto the bed next to her. She knew Meg would need her support and possibly restraint now Ben seemed to have accepted her brother's voice. They weren't out of the woods yet, in fact they were just entering them … none them knew what was ahead especially as none of them had thought of this shocking scenario. She was also worried because Ben was still looking intently in front of him, he'd not relaxed since hearing Bob's voice which might mean he didn't fully recognise it. Just trusted it because it was something different from being in that room facing Maria with a gun and the jailer, and hoped he would recognise the voice next time he heard it and would stop living the memory, and settled down to watch, analyse and wait.

Meg didn't leave Helen's protective hug as she moved over, she'd also eased her hand out of her mouth knowing she wouldn't make a noise … scream in horror. That moment had passed now and wiped away another tear and knowing her own guilt she instinctively knew the guilt Ben was feeling over his actions. Feeling the tingling in her hand now she'd released it she was surprised she'd actually breathed through the horror of it all and guessed there was more agony to come because nothing was as they'd thought … and knew whatever happened she would be there for him … if he'd let her.

Understanding why Ben hated being in buildings so much, Bob made sure he was sitting safely, the last thing he needed was to end in heap if Ben moved suddenly and checked everyone else was settled. He knew this was uncharted waters and a one sided story, he also needed a little background as they'd been barking up the wrong tree. And hoped by doing this he could reassure Ben he was not actually where he thought he was and said gently. "Ben, what you see around you will wait for a moment. I would like to know how you knew you'd been drugged by Maria."

_Ben heard the question and watched the scene in front of him stay as it was … Pedro and Maria talking … and felt that ripple of strangeness again … and knew he could talk to this voice and needed to because Meg had taken him to safety as he'd asked her to some when. And the voice had said Benjy was safe and so with something he couldn't get on the edge of his fragmented mind answered. _**"Every so often the jailer would push a plate with a drink of water or tea and a pill or a bottle of them within my reach. I had to drug myself or be punished his way of proving control over me. They were different types to do different things; if it was the one dissolved in the drink then the drink would have a slight tang to it. That is what I recognised when I drunk Maria's tea. The reaction to the drug would come in waves, my mind would race with very clear thoughts about anything and everything, then my limbs would feel like lead make movement slow and eventually I would sleep, on waking I'd have a kaleidoscope of emotions and thoughts and nothing would make sense for awhile."**

Knowing that cleared up Ben's attitude to drinks and pills and as talking to Ben like this was actually working Bob asked "Did the jailer call earlier and hold a gun to Maria's head and threaten Benjy's life."

_Ben shivered at the memory but as the scene in front of him stayed untouched by what was happening he answered clearly.__** "**_**Yes as I opened the glass doors to go for air, he demanded money I wrote him a cheque, he took the bag I'd planned to leave with. After he left Maria was hysterical so to calm her I promised not to ring the police and would stay down in the lounge till morning then leave before Benjy woke. She went up to check on him in case he'd heard something, she might have rung the jailer then or when she was in the kitchen … I don't know. **

**Though I was deeply shocked by the whole thing and don't usually break a promise I wrote a brief account and description and put it with the other papers for Charles. It wasn't much as I never seen the real person and the light was poor in the basement. Even so I'd noticed things then and now I'd seen him in the light of the lounge. I knew it would be slow to impossible job to track him down and would let Charles deal with it and I wouldn't tell Maria what I'd done. She came downstairs still shaken and suggested we had a cup of tea to steady our nerves and I accepted hoping I might talk her round to my point of view … we needed to tell someone what happened.**

_He gave a sigh as things were even stranger now -_ _he could see himself kneeling facing the couple who had just stopped talking and were facing him ready to give their verdict. _He spoke _to the voice as he heard Maria say her piece._ **"Maria spoke for the both of them and agreed that they would live in Seattle and let Benjy live with Tess's sister. She would visit Tess in jail and give her the stark warning her silence and life in jail for Benjy's freedom/life and the only thing they needed me to do now was to go quietly to my death if I didn't Pedro would kill Meg. **

**I knew I had no choice but to nod and hope that as the drug was only half strength I could somehow gain my freedom at the cliff top by sending him over the top, then get the police to get her before she realised what was wrong and retaliate. I believed she'd understood my warnings, would stay and look after Benjy. She could not risk the child waking and disturbing the neighbours or ringing someone because no one was in the house; he was bright enough to do it and knew who to call I'd made sure of that when he first came. And she would find out what happened later. **

**She said she needed to check on Benjy again and gave the gun to Pedro. He kept it trained in my direction but looked amongst the envelopes I'd put out on the side and found my account and description. He put it in his pocket and was angry that their ploy to soften me up hadn't worked, that I'd dared insinuate he couldn't trust Maria and trashed their plan to get rid of me had told them how to do it and hit me several times.**

**In the months in basement … I had never shown him fear and … and I wasn't going to do it now … not even while I trying to get my breath … from the attack … and realising I'd lost everything … I'd fought for."**

"Why did you think that?" Bob asked gently knowing Ben had dropped back into the living the nightmare because he was gasping as he spoke no doubt trying to get his breath back after the jailer's attack.

_Ben gasped and shivered because he could see Maria coming down the stairs and could hear her voice _as _she reached them and trusting that voice again he said_. **"She had been wearing a nightdress and robe … when she went to check on Benjy … now she was wearing a dark trouser suit … and her hair was tied back. She said she wanted to make sure I died would not come back and haunt them. After glancing at Pedro she looked at me and saw I believed she'd killed Benjy and was going to make things difficult for them. She gave a gentle laugh and took my face in her hands as she explained she'd drugged Benjy not killed him and if I promised to be good I could go and say a last silent farewell. **

**She released me as she carried on to say if I made things difficult she would make sure Benjy died a grieving child's death with the help of drugs and time. I knew by her tone she would do it and nodded my compliance hoping that I could at least see he was sleeping and then believe she would let him live and he would forgive me for leaving him. Deep down I knew once I was dead anything could happen. **

_Though part of him realised he wasn't there he could still see and feel his slow passage up the stairs … Maria in front the jailer behind _and said_.__** "**_**I managed to walk up the stairs, into his room and stood beside his bed. She hadn't killed him as I'd thought … he was sleeping with the toy from his mother and father cuddled close. I also saw the white teddy bear I'd tried to give Meg on the chair and hoped she would forgive me for leaving her and giving these two what they wanted.** _He watched the scene progress and shivered violently not wanting to go on._

Bob saw the shiver and sensed the hesitation and said gently. "Did they take you downstairs again?"

_Ben shook his head and saw the scene move on and said. __**"**_**Maria wanted to check out my bedroom, which I knew was a mess."**

Bob swore silently and out of the corner of his eye saw Helen nod and knew he'd have to talking him through it not jump on and hoped Meg would be able to stay silent and said reassuringly. "Its okay Ben this is only a memory it will be all right."

_Ben heard the voice as the scene moved on and felt himself step away from what was happening in front of him and said softly. _**"He made me kneel on the floor in the middle of the room and linked something soft through my cuffs so my wrist and my ankles were tied together so I couldn't move. Even so he ordered me to stay still or be hit and they tidied the room … working as a couple … a loving couple … till it all became too much for them…**

Bob guessed what happened and not wanting to use the word love where these two were concerned said gently. "They made out on the bed."

_Ben nodded shaking slightly feeling the sick gutted feeling he'd had as he watched them and added._** "I don't think it lasted long" **_He suddenly had a flash of the other thing he needed to say and carried on._ **"It was their reaction to each other I recognised and knew there was danger."**

Bob realised he'd jumped to another time and wanted it clarified and asked "That was when you were at the Shock Wave meeting Meg and her mother and Father Antonio was with you."

_Ben gave a slight laugh as he suddenly really realised he had in fact survived what was going on in front of him and said quietly._ **"Yes it was the silhouette of her and their greeting to each other … how he walked and acted towards her … it triggered a warning of danger … but I didn't have the whole picture so couldn't explain … knew Antonio was in danger if I stayed around and I needed to get Meg away and time to think, to understand."**

Bob realised that not all of Ben had moved on from the bedroom scene he held his wrists as though the handcuffs were still on and he wanted Ben to fully realise he was free before he took him back to Ocean Drive and gently put his hand on Ben's wrist saying. "You are not there Ben … you are sitting beside me and you're hands are free. They have finished the bedroom and led you downstairs."

_Ben nodded feeling the warm firm touch on his hand and was getting used to the weird feeling of dropping in and out of memory, watching what was happening to himself rather than being in it and said as the scene jumped._ **"We were back in the lounge I was allowed to stand, my movements were so sluggish I was no threat to them, and the gun and its threat was always close to hand anyway. Maria was to drive the car Pedro had picked up earlier in the day, it was parked nearby. He would take his wig off and drive mine; I would be on the back seat rather than the trunk. After it was over she would follow him to where mine would be hidden and then he would drop her off near the house it wouldn't take long and it was still very early so few people around. Later she would sort things out about Tess and Benjy and sale of the house. As everyone would be distracted by the wedding she and Pedro would 'accidentally' meet up then and their friendship/romance would grow to a stage she would leave as he was going to Seattle to work.**

**With limbs that hardly obeyed me they took me out to the car and I was covered with blanket so the drive to the cliff top was warm and stuffy, the cuffs wouldn't give in and it was a fight to stay conscious. I groggily I decided because I needed help walking they both would come to the cliff edge either then or when they took the cuffs off I would take them with me over the top. I knew Benjy would wake alone but the courier was calling early and if he didn't gain entry he would contact Charles and/or the police. Charles had insisted I do it that way rather than drop the papers in on him that morning. If Pedro talked during the journey I didn't understand what he was saying.**

**When the car stopped and I was dragged out so I stood unsteadily on to a grassy area the sudden cold air or breeze sort of woke me up and reminded me I wanted to take them with me or get help. Unfortunately it was totally deserted of cars, houses or people … apparently I'd chosen the ideal place for chucking someone over the cliff top." **_He stopped and shivered feeling the cold air cut through his shirt and heard the sea breaking against the cliffs below them….._

Feeling Ben shiver Bob quickly reassured him. "Its okay Ben you survived all this. You are safe trust me."

_Hearing the voice Ben nodded and stepped back from what was happening around him again and found he stopped shivering and knowing what happened explained to the voice._ **"Maria had the gun again and jammed it against my arm as she gave Pedro a whip that had been in his car. He'd decided I should be punished for marring and sleeping with his wife. She stepped any from me and he winded me to bring me to my knees and then took the cuffs and watch off as I tried to get my breath back. Maria then held my hands to the ground as I knelt and he whipped me ... just the once as my brother had done to bring me under control in the basement. **

**The blow shattered any clear thoughts I had about taking them with me. Now I wasn't sure where I was only I had to get free. I pulled away from Maria only to find it was Pedro's grip that held me and Maria had the gun and insisted I walk over the cliff. He hit me and pushed me in the right direction and I stumbled on while he insisted I should not be shot as bullets could be traced should my body be found.**

**Then there was confusion of gunshots and Maria's laughter while I fought with the jailer tried to take him with me but failed. I think I hoped if he went she would go over while trying to rescue her but it was fleeting thoughts as I tangled with arms and legs. Realising I failed I knew I didn't want to be thrown over by him or hit by stray bullets so tumbled or rolled over the cliff hoping I would have the same luck as before or Derek's luck of hitting water uninjured.**

_Feeling the fall and yet knowing he wasn't actually doing it and he could talk about it was very strange indeed and said quietly to the voice he knew was nearby._ **"I hit a lot of things before the final crash landing and blacking out. … I guess whatever I hit slowed me down rather than stopping me so they couldn't have been too solid. When I woke the sun was shining and I hurt all over but my chest was so bad I could hardly breath, my head was pounding and didn't have a clue what happened. When I moved the sudden pain in my back caused me to blackout again. I woke again and gradually my mind picked up the threads of what had happened and with the pain and the drug in my system playing its endgame I blacked out again. Each time I came round after that it was for a longer time and it was still sunny and warmer so I guess the day moving on. When I came round for good I realised I'd not got wet so the tide had not come in and as I slowly moved myself so I could lean against the cliff and look around I realised the stones around me had been dry for a long time and I was in a sheltered cove. I also heard water and looked towards it and saw it was coming from the cliff and going into the sea not the other way round.**

**It took me a long time to reach the water and I drank some it was fresh and tasted good I knew I had to be careful because I felt giddy and sick knew that wasn't good. As I rested and drank some more flashes of what I'd done and what had happened came and went and I looked at that cliff and knew I had to climb it and disappear till I was well enough to find out if they had left Sunset Beach or not. If they hadn't I had to get Meg or Charles out and explain things. Eventually I crawled back to the shelter of the cliff knowing there was a path going up but as it started further round and was blocked someway up I doubted if I could reach the path and then climb past the blockage. So I decided I would have to climb from where I was and join the path further up, which would be difficult but I knew I had no choice I wasn't going to die down there. **

**The drug had worn off long ago but the pain throughout my body and my head especially meant I kept blacking out if I moved too quickly so I knew I had to go slow and hope the aches would become manageable I also realised my memories and thoughts were getting fuzzy and mixed up again and …" **_and Ben sighed he could ignore the hunger he was used to that but couldn't ignore the guilt that the couple could still win if he couldn't climb the cliff and knew he needed help and where to get it._

Bob called Ben's name and got no reaction and knew he was back there on the beach possibly in a very fuzzy frame of mind and they would have to wait for this scene to play out. And hoped Ben would think clearly again before climbing the cliff. As Ben moved his hand Bob let go of it and watched fascinated, as Ben seemed to take something from where his shirt top pocket would have been and looked at for a moment and then put whatever it was on his knee and gently smoothed it flat. From the size and what he knew Bob guessed it was the photograph of Meg and hoped she would stay silent however painful this maybe.

oxoxo

_Ignoring the fuzziness and the aches Ben slowly took Meg's photo from his shirt pocket, he'd kept it close to his heart for all those months in the basement and had put it in his clean shirt because if felt so right. And by doing so she would be next to him as he mourned his brother but would not have to share his pain; she had her own to get over. He looked at her smiling face and wondered if she was alive and if she was would she ever forgive him for what he'd done. He sighed again knowing he had that damn cliff to climb and wasn't too sure he could do it. _

_He lay the photo on his knee brushed his hand across it and looked at it and then gently kissed his finger and then tenderly ran it round the outline of her face remembering everything about her… the softness of her skin, the scent she used and her laughter her smile. Then as his fingers gently brushed across her cheeks he spoke in a soft but wheezy voice … that unknown to him told the listeners of all the love he felt for her. _"**I'm sorry sweetheart … I hope that some day you will forgive me and you are safe. … I've got to leave you for a while maybe forever. I just want you to know I love you … always will. … I've two favours to ask of you, don't go asking questions … and help me climb this damn cliff because I can't do it alone. I need you to show me the way as you did in the basement. …The path's blocked so I need to take the direct route and if I fall I don't think I'll make it again. I promise you one thing … I'll not let go of you no matter what happens."**

_Knowing he had to protect his right side as it hurt him so much he gently took the photo in his right hand and screw it up and held it tight. He felt the strength of his love for her and the memories of her love for him flow through him and looked up at the cliff he had to climb and knew together they could do it… would try.. _

Bob didn't know how he got his words out now he understood why Ben clutched the screwed up photo, but they came out gently and firm. "Ben you never let go of your love and you made it to the top of that cliff. I found you on the roadside holding the photo of Meg and she is safe and so is Benjy and you are home now."

_Ben shivered violently hearing that voice he trusted and understanding the words took that step back again and he was outside the pain and fear and took a breath and said. _**"I nearly made the pathway but failed at the last clump, footing went and I fell back down, luckily I was only winded I landed on sand not the rocky bit but the pain through my ribs, back and head made me blackout. When I woke light was fading and I knew I had to move or I would not last the coming night … cold and hunger would take its toll … though the water would keep me going for awhile. I could also feel her calling to me to try again, that she was beside me and I knew doing it would keep me warm so I started again making sure I wouldn't make that mistake again.**

**Eventually I hauled myself up onto the narrow path and stayed awhile as I recovered my breath and the pain receded a bit. Then with the cliff edge at my side I slowly crawled, walked and climbed over the difficult bits, sitting when needed till I got to the top … everything was an effort and took time. I think I must have passed out as well because it got darker and the moon was up and it kept ducking behind clouds so a times I could only see the ground immediately ahead nothing to the side.**

**Perhaps that was a good thing I could not see the drop … but Meg always with me guiding me even though my mind was awash with confusing thoughts … images … feelings aching. With faltering steps I got onto the top of the cliff and sat down, I was confused not sure what had happened or what I expected to happen … didn't know which way to go. **

**There was a path to my right but a big bush was in the way, I hurt and had no energy to go round it. So eventually I chose the path to the left passed some smaller bushes some when in darkness I jarred my ankle and fell and blacked out or slept not sure which. When I woke it was a little lighter and I was cold, knew I'd been betrayed and hurt, needed to stay dead for my wife's and nephew's sake and also what I held in my hand was precious and would see me safe. Lying on the ground I could see a faint path to my right away from the cliffs, cliffs I could fall over so I crawled along it as my ankle would not take my weight."**

_He could see the deserted cliff top feel the cold wind around him and desperation run through him and sighed and knew he was there anymore he was safe and said gently. _**"With the pain and confusion all around me I crawled on till the grass stopped and there was something hard and black lying in front of me. It looked too wide to cross and there were trees on the other side. It also went from left to right for as far as I could see no lights either way to guide me. I didn't know what the hell to do and couldn't go any further so sat huddled protecting her from the cold I felt. Thoughts and memories came and disappeared but something told me if she was safe I was and I could find her soon. I also knew I had to protect my wife and nephew by staying dead till I got better and I didn't feel safe in certain places. **

**I didn't know time and could not keep my thoughts from disappearing into blackness and then I felt and heard a rumbling sound that got closer. I wanted to flee but cold and pain kept me still, a bright light covered me and then I heard a voice … the voice was unknown to me and felt safe … it asked me things I could not understand. It gave me a drink of something warm not drugged and gave me gentleness where I hurt. … When I said what flicked through my confused mind there was acceptance … reassurance not pain and rejection. … I thought I might answer any questions when I woke and I think I said that but not sure … I was feeling so so tired … so hurt. …" **_then he knew who the voice was and carried on saying_**. "I moved with … your help … and you took me somewhere safe … Bob. … Thank you."**

Bob felt a surge of relief and excitement Ben was through this ordeal and what was more he had recognised him … pulled those thoughts together and said gently. "Yes Ben I took you to the farm and when you woke ...

_Ben had a fleeting flash of memory and interrupted. _**"Woke knowing nothing and saw a young girl … I knew we could help each other and what I promised to never let go was beside me … protected in a clear bag …" **He gasped shivering violently _as fragmented images flashed through his mind drawing him back to the cliff top again - to the pain, to the betrayal and the sound of the gun fire and her laughter and Pedro looming over him and he cried out as he returned to them. _**"No… No… I have to separate them … can't get shot … must save Meg and Benjy … have to tumble over and hope.**

Seeing and hearing the collapse Bob said sharply across Ben's words. "No Ben. You are safe. Meg is safe. Benjy is safe. Listen to my voice. You met Betsy today and she is talking and laughing because of you." Hoping it would bring Ben back to him but he felt Ben collapse against him and knew he'd lost him. Still carrying on the mantra he made sure Ben would not fall off the bed and hoped his words would follow him into whatever darkness he was going into and would lead him out again.

Hearing Ben's words and seeing him collapse Tim moved quickly and sat on the opposite side of Ben and took his weight off Bob. As he did so he noted the ragged breathing and said quietly to reassure Bob. "It's okay, I've got him."

Bob nodded and stopped his mantra and eased himself up off the bed then between them they laid Ben down on his side so he would wake looking out into the garden. Tim then checked Ben's pulse and breathing again which was still ragged but steady and then got Ben's bag and tucked it beside him and covered him with the blanket so one hand was out of it so he could check the man's again later. Satisfied he drew Bob's chair up beside the bed and then gently introduced himself to Ben and started to talk about how he knew him.

Bob stood back watching and getting control of his own emotions and what Ben had been through. Thinking things through he knew Tim was the only one who could help Ben now, and he had a job to do … two in fact, and moved towards Meg.

oxoxo

The whole thing and hearing Ben talk to her photo like that had brought all Meg's guilt to the surface … she'd pushed him into this mess by wanting to be alone that night … so tears were streaming down her face again. Then seeing him collapse like that she was determined to be by his side … he needed her and she loved him so much, so she was silently fighting Helen but she could get out of that damned hug.

As Bob came close to them he quietly said to Helen. "He's at the bottom of the cliff and not breathing properly, Tim's talking him though that and his time on the farm, you two will have to decide whether or not to call the van in."

Helen nodded and said quietly, "We'll give it half an hour." then said sharply but quietly. "Meg, stop it! He can't hear your voice at the moment. We need to leave the room!"

Meg stopped struggling and looked to where her soulmate lay and gasped out. "No! I pushed him away that night I'm not leaving him now!" and then moved to get there.

Bob saw the move and blocked it and as Meg tried to look at her soulmate again he gently took hold of her face so she looked at him and said quietly but firmly. "If he'd stayed with you they would have killed him when he returned to Ocean Drive to get ready for the wedding or get his things to move away. He might not have made it that far they might have made it look like a street crime. They would not have known it was all for nothing Meg and I dread to think what the fall out would have been when they found out the truth or if you'd been with him.

This is not your fault Meg it is their fault. What happened gave him a fighting chance and it worked and it saved Benjy and kept the people he loves safe.

He will get through this and he will feel guilty about what he did but we can cope with that.

He has my voice with him now and Tim will help him back to the time on the farm. When he wakes we will all be there with him and guide him. He will need time to adjust and get things sorted out and we will give him that time. He loves you Meg and that's what brought him home. Build on that love and your love for him and leave the guilt behind in the past where it belongs. Talk to Helen and be that strong woman you've grown into."

Meg sniffed her sobs and stilled seeing the truth in him, and starting to understand his words she shifted slight knowing she would go with Helen and trust them as her soulmate had all those months ago.

Feeling the change Bob said with a gentle smile "Good girl." and released her into his sister's care and went back to get his crutches, knowing full well if Meg had pushed he would have had to let her go he could not have risked that sudden move. After collecting them he quietly made his way into the hallway to make his call but in the doorway he glanced back into the room and seeing Tim sitting easily while talking to Ben made him relax slightly. Feeling waves of tiredness sweep over him as he walked he checked the time expecting it to be very late and saw it was after ten and hoped no one had gone to rescue Maria yet.

He hitched himself up on the seat near the land-phone and dialled Jude on his mobile, he needed Jude to have his id and know this was an important call once answered he would change over to the land-phone so there would be less risk of being cut off half way through.

He wasn't surprised the pick up was almost immediate so he said without preamble. "Need to talk to you in private. We have lost Ben into unconsciousness after reliving his ordeal. That nightmare happened and you need to rethink the rescue plan."

oxoxox

If you are still with me after that one … comments are always welcome.


	54. Chapter 54

**Chapter 54**

With fears and speculation racing through his mind Jude walked quickly to within shouting distance of the Desk Sergeant and called out he would be in the spare office for a private call. As the Desk Sergeant was talking into the phone he expected to be told it was Patrick but seeing the officer's nod and wave that it wasn't for him he practically ran to the empty office. Pushing the door open he jumped and nearly dropped the phone, it had rung and it shouldn't have because Bob was on the end of it, he hadn't disconnected the call. Fear shooting through everything he looked at the id of the caller and saw it was the garden centre and pressed the button to take the call and said sharply. "What the **hell** do you think you're playing at!"

Bob heard and understood Jude's fear and anger so making a guess saying. "Patrick not called or turned up yet. I needed a better connection as we will be talking for a while."

Going into the office and kicking the door shut Jude spat back. "Not a dickey bird! Kill him when he does though."

Bob knew he had to get Jude thinking positively and a bit calmer and said. "He most probably wants to do it face to face in view of Maria's total involvement in all this."

Hearing it actually said Jude's heart and fears tumbled into his boots and worst-case scenario flashed through his mind as a positive happening making him exclaim in a sigh of despair. "Not going to get Annie back am I?" He'd known things had gone from bad to worse when Bob had said the nightmare had happened and cancel the rescue. Now he wasn't too sure he wanted to find out just how bad … just when Maria had swapped sides … and yet knew he had too if he was to do his job … get justice and bring everyone back safely.

Silently Bob very quickly ran through things then said honestly. "If Annie's not picked up any bad vibes from the couple this evening then she will be fine. **And**, as long as you, as in the police don't give them any reason to believe anything other than Ben is sleeping off that nightmare then they've no reason to hold her.

You know that hostage taking of that kind is a last resort and we are not there yet because they are not trapped. As far as they know they can go back to Seattle in the very early hours of morning or just early morning and claim to Carmen there's an emergency back there. Annie and Maria are good friends on a night out, he's intelligent, computer possibly gadget minded and knows she is a close link to you and therefore the police action. And they **need** her near you and innocent of what they want or are doing, use her natural concern and curiosity about Ben to get the answers they need."

Jude's mind did a jump to the possibilities and he started to relax just a tiny bit … they were professionals talking so there were no sugar coated words and said. "You mean a mini mike thing so they can hear what our next moves might be. Know if we are considering them at all. … It's not unusual for Annie to call in here if I'm working late; she might even have told them that in general conversation. … If she does we can isolate what she is carrying or can give false information through it."

Bob smiled he'd got the man thinking positively and confirmed. "Yes, a 'bug' of some kind audio rather than visual easier to deal with but there might not be anything there because they don't even suspect anything. To be safe though if she comes to see you make sure she leaves here things in her car or if she goes to her apartment she acts as though she is going to sleep and come in clean clothes and you can debrief her and find out their mood.

I hasten to add if she doesn't go to her apartment she should leave all the top clothes and combs her hair somewhere different to where you are. 'Bugs' can be very small and put on with a slap of the hand. Possibly get a female officer she trusts to pass a written note somehow after all you don't want an audio gasp as she reads it. Make it sound as though Maria is in danger from Rodney and tell her the truth when you meet."

Jude smiled as a thought crossed his mind, and then sighed, letting Bob's experienced words sink in, knew they agreed with his thoughts and after a moment said quietly. "Okay I'm thinking straight and got an idea how to do it though it will be a male officer rather than a female. So tell me how Ben really is, what happened and how deeply is Maria involved."

Bob gave a gentle chuckle, which he knew Jude would understand was the letting go of emotions rather than at the situation and then he said. "He's unconscious feeling the pain he felt at the bottom of the damn cliff having climbed it for us earlier, he's having some breathing problems but hopefully they will improve if not we will call in the van. …I managed to get into his head and talk to him hopefully my voice and the fact it's a memory will stay with him. To be honest, we are not sure whether he will come round or how he'll be when he does. If we are really lucky it could be in the morning and he'll just be silently confused, working everything into place during the day with our help. If we're not then it could be a long job days or weeks who knows."

He heard Jude's in take of breath and carried on quickly. "Regarding that cliff climb, he took the direct route from the bottom to meet the path part way up to avoid the stuff you had fun climbing over. He realised he could not get to the start of the path and climb over the blockage. Mind you, he did that climb twice in real life as something gave way just as he was reaching the damn path. But at least he made it in the end and found the road and as he didn't know which way to go waited.

As for Maria's part, well she was the one firing the gun at the top of the cliff as he deliberately tumbled over rather than being thrown over or get shot." Softening the blow he added. "Good point is he's really married to Meg and knows it and so does she." Then he paused knowing too much, too quickly wasn't a good idea and waited for Jude's reaction.

Although the highlights left Jude feeling as though he'd been hit by a bus and breathless, his cop mind took him back over everything they knew so far including Ben's nightmare the one they thought was a warning and taking a breath and steadying his thoughts came to a conclusion and said slowly. "All this didn't happen Christmas day evening did it."

Bob was glad Jude wasn't so shocked he couldn't think things through and had picked up the point he'd deliberately left out and said. "Climbing up the cliff took evening and night, the rest happened at Ocean Drive in the earlier hours of Christmas Day so he spent the day in the cove. Also Maria drugged Benjy so she could see Ben's death. Not surprising the kid had tantrums, most probably didn't understand what happened to him especially if it was anything like the one Ben had. It sounds as though a lot went that day so it's not surprising he shut it away and moved on. I don't suppose Maria was exactly sympathetic either she could have been suffering from reaction … realised she'd actually done it and needed to find the jailer hence the walk out.

I'll go through it but bear in mind it's one sided and second-hand. Remember that nightmare about the jailer attacking Maria."

"Yeah." Jude said softly guessing what was coming next.

"Well, we have a choice a softening up exercise or first try that didn't succeed for some reason. Either way, when Ben was on his knees looking down at the floor expecting the worse the jailer passed the drug and gun to Maria and she passed the front door key to him, which means the getting Ben out the way was premeditated. Ben said she might have rung the jailer telling him to come now I've drugged him which means it might be on her phone record if she didn't use a throwaway one, it would have been too risky to use the house one."

Suddenly unable to stand Jude sat on the table in the empty office and said quietly. "No wonder he couldn't stand buildings he'd been betrayed in the house he'd built with love by the one he loved. Go on."

Bob said gently in a tone that betrayed his own feelings. "Oh, she did more than that in the house. But let me start when Ben first tasted the drug in a cup of tea she gave him; luckily he only drank some of it, reckon he threw the cup away which meant she had a cleaning job to do … …

oxoxo

_The pain through out his body making it difficult to breath and unable to break through the darkness that held him, Ben knew he'd survived the fall from the cliff top. With Maria's laughter and gunshots mixing with confused tumbling memories he knew something was different. Continuing to fight for breath he realised he'd not been alone all the time… that a voice he'd trusted had been with him … talked to him and he'd talked back. The voice had promised to be there when he woke and he was safe, they were safe. But he'd lost that voice in all this pain and confusion and could hear a constant murmur of something in the distance. _

_He couldn't recognise or understand what was it was but somehow knew it was not part of this hell he was caught up in. That it could lead him to that other voice he trusted and then to his soulmate who still loved him and was nearby. Holding onto those whispers of knowledge he started to calm and try to ignore the pain through out his body and concentrate on that distant murmur … on that distant voice. The pain and confusion didn't go instead they swirled around him and he fleetingly remembered a garden with a pond that didn't seem to fit in with all this pain, but it was gone too quickly for him to understand anything it. It left him with a whisper of hope that 'that' voice or soulmate might be there and as he'd remembered it once it could come again and he might get closer to the murmur he could hear… … …_

Tim paused in his one sided talk because he noted a slight steadying of Ben's ragged breathing and concentrated on it for a moment ready to react if it was going the wrong way. Steadying to a stop rather than just steadying to a quieter rhythm. As it seemed to be the latter he reckoned it was a good start and perhaps Ben was moving away from the bottom of the cliff and the cycle would be broken. Knowing that a sudden touch might worry Ben he told him he was going to check his pulse and then did it ready to take his hand away should there be an adverse reaction. He found it fast but no worse than before and looking at the 'sleeping' man's face he saw or possibly felt there was something different in his patient. Knew it was 'that' doctor intuition thing and it made him hope that his talking about their history would carry on claiming him so the van wouldn't be needed and he would wake tomorrow … sometime.

Satisfied he let go of Ben's wrist to take a sip of water from the cup Helen had silently put beside the chair, he didn't want a coughing fit half way through this and talking was drying work. As he settled down to start his story again he decided this time he would rest his hand on Ben's in case that light touch helped him… let know that someone was there nearby rather than just a voice in his head. And with each telling of their story back at the farm he would add a bit …and give him reassurances where need but mainly concentrate on the good things and bring him through his journey back to Sunset Beach and then to garden centre to now. By doing this he hoped Ben would know his friends would be waiting for him and this would help break the circle of his betrayal in Ocean Drive and his trip down the cliff face that he could be going through.

Oxoxo

Jude held the phone in his hand utterly speechless as his mind ran though everything Bob had told him and realised they'd covered Ben in the car so he wouldn't see the jailer without fuzzy hair. No matter how early in morning if you saw a clown driving a car you'd remember it and talk about it and they didn't want that. Take the wig off and he had dark hair so a quick glance you'd assume it was Ben or just an ordinary driver going home or work. And wondered how the hell Ben had turned his luck and survived it all. Not only that how the hell was he going to explain it all to Ricardo and Antonio **and** what the hell was going to happen next… this wasn't the end of it by any means.

Gradually he heard Bob's voice calling his name and eventually answered. "Still here, I think." He took a breath then sighed and added with feeling. "Thought for one horrible moment you were going to have to talk him through rape in his bedroom … mind you what he saw was bad enough."

Bob smiled at his close call and admitted with feeling. "Yeah, I immediately thought that too, instantly realised though she might have had the ultimate kick out of it Pedro would not have stood for it, might even have killed her for suggesting it and she's not mug enough to risk it. And realised the significance of it for them, from the jailer's point of view it's the final put down for Ben before his death especially as it was in the master's bedroom … from her point of view it was the only time she'd be able to do 'it' with the jailer and the victim watching, after that it would be Pedro her husband or just him dressed as a clown not quite the same effect. Makes you wonder if Derek had survived and Pedro had … …"

"**Don't!**" Jude interrupted sharply not wanting to contemplate that one and needing to turn his thoughts to other things added. "So how do we arrest this **delightful** couple?"

Bob had already thought about that and said without hesitation. "With great caution, I've no doubt they will take officers down with them. We know he understands explosives and fire think of what he did to Franklin Street."

Jude hissed at that thought and knowing Bob's expertise said. "How would you take them out?"

Bob chuckled half wishing he could and said. "Killing them or suicide by police officers arresting them is too good for them and not an option. Total isolation from each other is a very good idea from their arrest onwards if possible. They came here so they could go back and start a family, which means they **need** each other."

Understanding it Jude said quietly. "Let's hope she's not started one already I dread to think what kind of child it would be and I can't see Ricardo looking after it for her. Was she always like this? … Everyone thought she was an angel."

Bob paused for a moment knowing he could get back on track later and said. "I know what you mean and I can't answer that don't know all her history. Anyone including doctors who deal with her will need to bear in mind she's very intelligent, can read people and is a convincing actress. Wouldn't be surprised if she comes up with dual personality excuse, could be their meeting sparked it off or the circumstances around their meeting or why they parted and then greed took over. Who knows whatever it was you've got to convince the family it was not their fault and they are not like that either ... same as Ben's not like Derek.

The couple could blame each other hope for reasonable doubt or obsession and get a lesser sentence. Don't know enough about him to say which, but I hate to say it she could play on being a damaged female and blame him completely … she's got the supposed drowning to fall back … part of that must have scared her and we've got prove he was waiting for her at her request. They've got nothing to lose so might play the total silent game and let it go through the courts drag it out as long as possible. To counteract that we'll need to have strong hard evidence hopefully Patrick will have found it or how to get by now.

That's for later, going back to taking them down … **sorry** arresting them. They may play the hostage game on each other, hoping for an escape or a quick death and spread misery around. Depending on how devious she or he is, it could be a way of getting the other one killed so the dead one can take all the blame and the other one walks away with a lighter sentence and money. Mind you with a bit of luck the money might be traced back to Ben or even the other false marriage so they would forfeit it all or most of it anyway.

To be honest I would go in as mice checking for traps and wake them up with red-lights and tranquilliser guns then shoot them if they blink **and** I do mean blink. Using tranquilliser guns means they can't do the suicide thing and you get some satisfaction in shooting them if they move. Let them wake up either handcuffed or handcuff them when they wake having separated them and then walk them out the house. Once they are cuffed police cars will be on the street and that will bring people out no matter how early you do it. They think they've been so damn clever, you can prove to everyone they aren't. Of course you've got a cunning female so you've got to guard against maltreatment suit or just tears.

His tone lightened slightly as he added. "Personally I like the fact Ben told them to stay away from Sunset Beach and they didn't and they've got caught and he helped catch them. Not only that he deprived the jailer of actually tossing him over the cliff, perhaps its just as well only Ben went over." then added seriously. "Hopefully they will have kept his things as trophies otherwise it will be a long-hall to recover the items."

Jude thought for a moment and said. "We've got details of the books, car reg. has to be somewhere and I think Ben's watch was engraved but yes it will difficult. We're starting a possible money trail regarding a charity account it might lead us to something else. Why not wait till she goes and visits her mother get them separately.

Bob came back immediately. "Way too dangerous, we don't know what he'll be doing trying to find out might spook him and if Maria is feeling jittery and her mother picks it up she could inadvertently put herself in danger. As far as I'm concerned they are both capable of taking innocents as hostages and that would bring more guilt on Ricardo or Ben. Go to the extreme they might try and get an exchange … Ben for hostages. Know you would not do it but the strain of knowing it happened would be bad for him it would be difficult to keep it under wraps now or later.

Much better to wake them up and take them before they realise what's happening, there's going to be enough guilt flying around as it is."

Jude closed his eyes for a moment trying to shut out the idea of Annie in a hostage situation and understood the guilt that would come from it for him, Ben and the brothers if it came to a sticky end then asked. "How's Meg taking this?"

"Deeply shocked but fairly well, guilt is there as you'd expect but Sis is talking to her and hopefully she'll see it was good thing she didn't sleep with Ben that night, don't think he would have stayed there was Benjy to look after. She's also got to understand his guilt, after all he told them how to lie to her … to everyone … but I think after a rest she'll come to terms with it and with our help will see it through… both will. Can you very quietly get Benjy to come over; Ben needs reassurance that he really is okay and I don't think our word will be enough anymore."

Jude nodded then remembered Bob could not see him and said. "I asked Hank to fly to him and explain things, he rang not long ago and said Benjy still won't talk about that night/day, which isn't surprising now we know he was drugged. He wanted to bring him over tomorrow so Benjy could see and talk to Ben hoping that might help him. Of course now that Ben's unconscious I don't know that should be even suggested till we know how he is. We've also got consider Tess."

Bob thought for a moment then said. "Yeah, especially if she kept silent to keep Benjy safe, there's a slim possibility Maria actually told her what happened as part of the threat …we killed Ben with no one knowing so we can get Benjy anytime … it's possible she might talk once they are arrested. But, then again they will be in jail as well so a threat is to her rather than Benjy. There's a chance she played a deeper part in all this in which case she'll keep quiet after all she's got a chance a parole sometime in the future say something and she could lose it.

Regarding Benjy we'll see how things are in the morning and let you know. We are giving Ben about half an hour and if his breathing does not improve or it gets worse we will call in the van. Trouble is he might get too tired to breathe properly as he works his way back to us so we might have to put him on the machine, which could cause all kinds of problems as he comes round."

Jude cut in sharply. "Why"

"His aversion to hospitals, he especially said he didn't want one hospital when he was with me and a tube down your throat shouts hospital even to a confuse mind. Could set him off into memories of his brother and the hospital, which is not a good idea. To avoid this Tim's talking to him at the moment, then Sis will and I'll take over the later shift, we are voices from his future, which proves he survived all he's going through. Once it looks as though he's back to the sleeping stage we will just keep an eye on him, after all he's done that stage before and hopefully he'll wake silent and we can go from there.

This time we'll be with him and with the right answers to any questions, also Meg will be there and there's the photo album to back us up with recent memories. We have the added advantage he wants to come back to us. Hate to say this but you need to go and tell the others what we found out."

Jude felt reassured by the way Bob was talking positively about Ben, but he didn't really want to do the other part and said slowly. "Yeah I know and find out what Pedro's full name is, you realise that Antonio might have had that information or know how to get all this time…. Hell this sucks."

Bob said gently. "Well go carefully there's the confessional thing to consider and no one came up with Maria being on the other side until now. You can always see things better in hindsight."

Jud sighed "Yeah I know. Hopefully Patrick will come and give solid confirmation of it all before the roof is blown off. How should we communicate from now on?"

Bob smiled at that and thought for a moment and trying overcome that old itch – he really wanted to be in on the raid – and said. "We'll ring you in the morning for an update each way … but if something **really** bad goes down we ring mobiles not matter what time so hand yours to someone you can trust. … As for time … if they don't make a run and you make the raid about 3 in the morning you might be available about 8 or 9 to talk, you'll need to sleep off the 'rush' if not the shock from today."

Jude chuckled realising Bob was working out how he would do it all and feel and asked. "Okay, say they don't run so why 3 am and not 2?"

"If he thinks you've got something on them he will expect something between say 12 and 1am thinking Judges don't like being disturbed and you need some sleep. The other is they get home say bye to Annie and talk about things wind down might even pack a bit now rather than in the morning in case they feel they need an early start. 1am comes and goes nothing happens they relax and go to bed by 3 they are in that deeper sleep which little noises don't disturb so you can creep up the stairs and wake them. It also means they should be muzzy and not have had that replenishing sleep so will be less trouble when facing men with guns. I'm assuming you've got 'ears' if not eyes on the house so can do it accordingly.

You might think about having something ready to disable their car should they decide to slip out while they think you are getting warrants for their arrests. Shouldn't touch the car once parked but broken glass or metal spikes out of sight of the house might be good you don't want a car chase but a foot chase might be good fun providing you look out for guns and have enough me chasing them."

Jude had to smile about the chase and said quietly. "Okay anything else."

Bob pondered and said. "Yeah, I've had a thought about the cars and him. Think he brought the present car down because he wanted it to give it a good send off get done by someone who respects cars, thought a small town crushing machine might be cleaner than a city one. It was just meant to be a grimy old car and he wanted a nice car to take home, actually for her to take home. He was going to bring his 'baby' home the drive home would wipe out the months it was down here and that's why he left the plates on. He'd also be able to gloat over Ben's car see how much it had rotted and know he'd succeeded because Ben died. They will not have had a chance to check the cars and I suspect it's fairly isolated so he'll need a lift there."

Jude understood what he was getting at and softly said liking. "Now that's a thought to ponder on if needs be." then sighed adding. "**Okay,** better get this over with. Oh yes, Antonio's given us the front door key to the house Maria's staying in. Apparently the owners asked him to look after the property last year when they went away and didn't take the key back."

"That's a bonus, check there's no way she would know he had it. And good luck."

Jude said as an afterthought. "I suppose we could go in via a window."

Bob automatically came back. "In the back if they are in the front and visa versa and using a holder and cut it all out with a cutter. Take care and hear from you in the morning."

Jude smiled at that bit of advice and said back "You too" then disconnected call.

oxoxo

Bob walked slowly into the lounge area and saw a cup of tea waiting for him on the table so went over and sat down. Without stopping their conversation Helen and Meg glanced at him, he nodded and started to drink the tea and listened so he could contribute if necessary and would explain what Jude had said in due course. He was glad Meg was past the tearful stage and guessed none them would go to sleep for awhile.

oxoxo

In the office, Jude sat and thought and then wrote out the note he wanted Annie to read. Then checking he got everything he got up, walked over and opened the door and was walking out into the passage trying to work out what to say to the brothers when he remembered the name of the woman they needed to look for who could be the wild card in the pack...

"**Jude!**" Cut into his thoughts.

He stopped in the corridor and watched the men striding towards him and concentrating on the one in front said angrily. "Why the **Hell** didn't you contact us!"

Patrick could tell by his friend's expression he knew the truth or part of it and was troubled couldn't blame him and said. "Been busy and needed to do this face to face for the brothers' sake. Paul and the others are still gathering information. Annie all right?"

"She's still with them." Jude answered harshly as a wave of concern washed over him again. Recognising Tony and taking in that both were in full protective FBI gear and were carrying special guns with large infer-red light he reckoned he was off the case and added. "Ben's remembered and is unconscious."

"Damn! How bad. Let's walk and talk." Patrick said shifting the bag on his shoulder to a more comfortable position.

Jude shook his head though he started to walk with Patrick and said. "Tell you with the others don't want to do it twice. We've got a Lynnette Cortes running around; she's the woman who was with Rodney at the bank, money was moved from a false charity account…"

They all stopped as the Desk Sergeant ran up and interpreted them. "Jude, Patrick they are back and Annie looks as though she's leaving them."

Jude sighed with relief and remembering Bob's words said. "Patrick I need Spence to give this note to Annie as soon as she is out of sight of the house, whether she is coming here or the hotel. She trusts him and will know it's not a joke; he'll keep his silence and make sure she doesn't say anything. She could be bugged so Rodney can get information about what we know or are thinking. I've said that Maria could be in danger from Rodney and to leave everything in the car and I'll explain everything once she's in the office here."

Patrick nodded his agreement and asked. "Bob?"

"Yes and a few other things including tranquiliser guns."

"Good." Patrick said impressed realising things had certainly been moving down here and asked the Desk Sergeant. "Can you do that?"

As the Desk sergeant nodded and took the note Jude added. "Her clothes as well need to be isolated."

The Desk Sergeant smiled and nodded and left them.

oxoxo

As they started to walk towards the office where the brothers were Patrick said knowing they'd slipped up earlier. "Sorry Boss."

Jude looked at him puzzled and said. "You're the one in charge."

"For now, but earlier today I made a mistake. Paul got two id's from the ATM photo and Ricardo and I concentrated on Carol Lawson because she was in Seattle and the ball of information rolled from there. We didn't follow up the other one because she was from south of here and the offence was old and on her maiden name."

Jude felt that tingling down his spine and said. "It's been a roller coaster day and information has been coming from all over the place. So go on."

Patrick shrugged and explained. "Yes but by looking into her past we could have cracked it earlier. Lynette Cortes is Carol Lawson. Her married name was Cortez with a 'z' not an 's' in her single name was. When Juan her husband moved to Seattle he used Cortez with a 's' and she used Carol Lawson. He's meant to have been lost at sea on the day of the storm he in fact sailed with Rodney to Sunset Beach bay to meet Maria, they are cousins. Lynette moved out as soon as she got insurance etc and changed her name using the LC swap to cover her tracks and they live in one apartment but on paper live in two. We arrested Carol and she's been in Seattle all the time."

Getting his mind round the information Jude exclaimed as they came to the office door. "Who the **Hell** is that woman then!"

Patrick stopped Jude from opening the door and said. "Maria."

Jude stopped dumbstruck so Patrick carried on. "She could not risk the Bank Manager recognising her and we found another wig in Seattle."

Jude said softly. "He wouldn't have it was a stand in. So we've got her … them."

Patrick smiled and nodded and said. "Money trail is being tracked. There's only one thing else I want." Jude looked at him so he added. "To meet or just see Ben when this is over. He got under their skin and I've got a funny feeling he knew he would especially Rodney. The man didn't break him in Seattle or here at his death, he's been living the life Ben told him and it's his money not Rodney's that is … was going to finance IVF treatment so they can have the family they want. He's already fathered children so he's okay she's not produced any and I guess it's not for want of trying. That small charity account was pure greed, the need to say goodbye to their families as well as to finally wash their hands of Ben's ghost brought them back here now.

To think if he'd stayed quiet not given in to his need to break Ben with fireworks we wouldn't have known about them. Ben might have come back too slowly to catch them they would have gone to Seattle and disappeared completely. You'll do the arresting and we'll back you up with the guns and lights, I'll take Maria, Tony can take Rodney."

Jude nodded, looked at his friend and sighed then added. "We don't when he'll wake, he recognised Rodney at the Shock Wave and his name is Pedro."

Patrick nodded and starting to open the door said softly. "He'll wake up; he's too strong not too. Pedro's not his real name it's his family's nickname and you need to release Ricardo from his job."

Jude nodded hoping Patrick was right and deciding he was strong enough to face the brothers he walked into the office in front of Patrick and Tony wanting to mask what they were carrying for the moment and heard the brothers were arguing.


	55. Chapter 55

**Chapter 55**

Walking into the room Jude could tell by echoes and the body language Ricardo had been the vocal one and Antonio the quieter one for the moment at least. Also the situation might have been getting worse because the SWAT Officers were walking in Ricardo's direction, with Gabi looking as if she was going to or had been trying placate him ... all in all it didn't look good ...

He knew it was a snap shot of the minute the door opened which would change as his group were making their presences known so he called out as if nothing had happened. "**Ricardo.** Found what you were looking for." He wanted the man to be thinking not shouting in anger or just letting off steam, though both were … would be understandable. Today had been a strange one, and was going to get worse as far as Ricardo and Antonio were concerned.

Still wound up Ricardo spun towards the voice and spat out angrily "No!" then stopped, his mind taking in who it was and switched gears to 'officer' mode, though his puzzlement showed and anger tinged his voice as he started his report. "As if we didn't have enough confusion already we've got some more. The charity bloke got worried by our enquires so pulled strings and got things done and sent an email saying **A** Ben Evans with **A** Sunset Beach address made two donations of the same amount and gave dates. If we use our time line the first one was two weeks after he got married to Maria the other is four months after that. No further records of donations on a regular basis or one offs can be found.

How can they say that! … There's a standing order for that amount each April **and** **I** **know** he would have made damn sure it was right and got reports back. If they've not had it then who has and how the **hell** was he duped we know he's no fool!"

Ricardo took a short breath in and out then swung back to the desk and got the photos he'd been going through and went back to his original concern exclaiming "Then there's this Lynnette Cortes woman! Her home town is next to my hometown. She's not the woman with Rodney, should have checked her out and seen the connection of Cortes. Not got blinded by the dates being wrong and being off the chart."

With his true anger and fears showing he slammed the photos down on the table and though looking at Jude pointed angrily at his brother as he carried on. "**He** says I should leave it; it's just me connecting all the wrong dots. **But** I hate coincidences and unknowns. … Maria married a man from that area and he's dead! **What if** his family or friends have been blackmailing her or something worse because of her secret! **Hell** I don't know … I just want to know what is going on!" and ground to a stop too agitated and frustrated to think but still glared at Jude.

Jude didn't waver from the onslaught knowing Ricardo had nearly got there in a different way and saw his sister as a victim. He hoped that once he stood the man down he would listen to Patrick, and knew this was not going to be easy given Ricardo's mood so said firmly while he had the man's attention. "Ricardo, I need you to clear your mind and settle down. I have to tell you, you are technically off this case **but** I will need your input before and after your mother arrives here tonight."

As Ricardo had vented his frustrations he'd subconsciously taken note of the group, hearing Jude's words he felt as though he'd been hit by a rush of ice cold water and his anger and frustration and realisation bubbled to the surface. He was suspended as he should have been earlier … Jude trusted him so he'd been allowed to stay … things were different now and his mother was coming here not going home… That Patrick and the stranger were in FBI protective uniforms and carried infer-red lit stun guns … not sniper guns. That meant two suspects and a close encounter not one clean shot from a sniper at a distance to free a victim being held against their will. And the three were a team … had trusted each other with their lives before and would do so again, knew how each other thought and acted. Now his gut feeling stirred that uncomfortable niggle so he said rather than asked. "You're not rescuing Maria are you?"

By the tone Jude knew Ricardo had subconsciously made the connection and came straight to the point to confirm it. "No we are not and she's not being blackmailed or worse because of her past either. We will arrest her and her husband for fraud, bigamy and other charges, which I or Patrick will explain as we go along, **but** I think they will be obvious to you."

Remembering Bob's words he glanced over to Antonio and added. "I don't want you to break any oaths or promises unless you are comfortable with it. That goes for you too Ricardo **but** I do need you both to listen to what we've got to say and we **will** need your input if we are to bring them in without bloodshed on either side."

Not surprisingly the room was silent and the brothers now looked at each other Antonio felt completely numb with disbelief, even the voice saying it can't be true wasn't there … yet. Ricardo was having a hard time not to explode in anger at her and himself and that little niggle that she might have been someway involved in something in a small way … had been miles out... how stupid can you get!

Gabi knew the shock she felt was not as gut wrenching as the brother's felt, she'd not known Maria well. But she did know just how devious females could be when trying to get something they really wanted, she had only to look at her own past for that. She wanted to comfort her husband but knew he was hurting too much he needed space and she dare not just go to Antonio, with their history and Ricardo's mood that innocent action could cause sparks and none them needed that. Instead she decided to find a seat and watch them … chose her time and if she sat they might sit to hear the rest and knew someone would come and get her if her daughter needed her.

The SWAT Officers grabbed some chairs silently weighing up the disturbing news while hoping they might be in at the end game even if the FBI team were taking over. Being wise they also made sure not to crowd or trap the brothers in, they shock could make them unpredictable and tempers could … no, would get more than a little frayed as things came out.

Watching everyone's reactions and hoping to help the brothers start thinking and understand things Patrick moved further into the room and said quietly but clearly. "In Seattle we found out she's not the 'innocent' wife threatened by an abusive or controlling husband either. She helped in the planning and was willing to let you **all** mourn her drowning while she happily lived there with her husband …

The words cut into Ricardo like a knife but he picked up the connection and in a loud angry whisper interrupted Patrick. "She said he **died** the day of the storm…" and broke off not wanting to carry onto the next thought … she was not capable of that ... no surely not.

Patrick didn't want to expand on that at moment feelings were to volatile so added another strand by saying. "She never lost her memory either; the car accident and recovery were staged **all **the way through to the end."

Ricardo looked daggers at Patrick but didn't move to hit out at him, his mind was too busy trying to assimilate the new information into what he knew of his sister and her life …

Antonio shivered violently at the implications and tried to take it all in, he was the youngest of the family and she had cared for him…

Taking note of their reactions Patrick didn't flinch and went onto make his point. "That was her way back into yours and Ben's lives without having to explain herself or missing years … if you can't remember you can't tell. Think of it. She had the doctor protecting her from questions about her past and she could manipulate the situation as she wanted to … and did. We will never know how much Derek knew while he was playing Ben because she never wrote much about her months with him here. According to her notes Tess never knew … not surprising really because Tess tried to kill Maria when they were in Seattle but we'll deal with that later. Let's get comfortable and sort all this out and I'm sorry for the pain this is going to cause both of you and Carmen."

While Patrick and Tony put their guns and vests on the nearest table and then leant against it, Jude, being too disturbed to sit stood knowing what he was going say wouldn't lighten the mood said it anyway. "Ricardo I don't know the whole story either but I do know that nightmare wasn't a warning it really happened and was Rodney's first visit to Ocean Drive.

Ricardo and Antonio, had both stayed standing and looked at him and nodded showing they were listening, even if they didn't like what they were hearing.

Jude took that as a good sign and as shock could muddle their thinking he made things clear as he spoke. "Earlier this evening Ben relived his ordeal which started in the early hours of Christmas morning unfortunately at the end of it instead of waking he slipped into troubled unconsciousness, Tyus will be called if necessary but they believe Ben will get through this but they don't know when he will wake or what state he'll be in. Antonio, Ricardo … Maria was with the jailer on the cliff top **and **she was the one who fired the gun into the air as Ben went over the top. She was **not** forced to go there; she drugged Benjy so she could be there to see Ben die."

Ricardo yelled in shock and disbelief. "No!" Antonio just went very pale.

Jude knew it was cruel but he needed Ricardo out of anger/shock and thinking like an officer and continued. "In the lounge of Ocean Drive Maria tried to drug Ben but he recognised the after taste in tea and chucked the rest away so was only half drugged. The jailer used the front door key to get back in possibly had the alarm code as well and Maria held a gun to Ben's head, made him kneel so the jailer could cuff his hands behind his back. They passed those things to each other during the first visit while Ben was on his knees looking at the floor, Maria **knew** the significance of being held hostage that way from the statements to the police and it was a good way to get close to the jailer without arousing suspicions."

At Ricardo's shake of the head in disbelief Patrick butted in. "They had two ideas for Benjy but only one for Ben and that was for someone to find his body in the waves that morning. Then she would be the very distress widow who would have to leave town almost immediately because of too many bad memories. She knew Ben's love hate relationship with sea, had heard he'd walked into when he thought Annie had been killed so it would not seem strange he would take that way out having killed his twin. The drug she tried to give him would enable them to get him into the water to drown without bruising and yes he would know what was happening. Maria was meant to meet the jailer during the day but she couldn't so the first visit was to put Ben into a state of shock and pass things over. In spite of the drug Ben managed to suggest an alternative death from himself and as we know he survived."

Jude quickly butted in. "On the drive to the cliff Ben actually planned to take them both over with him if possible, but when the cuffs were taken off and Rodney whipped him as punishment for marrying Maria he got confused. Even so he tried to take Rodney with him and then rolled over the cliff to make sure he wasn't thrown over. So took the actual moment of death away from Rodney's control and he told Bob Pedro was the jailer's name."

Patrick looked at Jude with a mixture of shock and surprise remembering what he'd read in Seattle and said. "Pedro is a family nickname so it would not help trace the man that's why he gave it and according to Rodney's notes Ben very nearly succeed getting him over the cliff. But he believed Ben was too far gone for thought it was a fluke and was pissed he didn't actually chuck him over. Cuffs weren't missed till later thought they went over in the struggle. Luckily he never went back. Rodney was really off pissed at Maria firing the gun over their heads worried about getting shot and the noise but she was on a high and wouldn't stop. She drove a cheap car he'd picked up Christmas Eve while he drove Ben's but let's leave that part of for now."

He wanted to get back to the other strand of the investigation hoping that would help the brothers take things in and accept all the facts and said. "Ricardo, you asked about the woman with Rodney outside the bank … that is Maria her height as well as the wig and glasses stopped you and anyone else fully recognising her. Hopefully we'll get a better ctv photos tomorrow and prove it, but I expect we will find the wig and shoes at the house when we search it and match them with things we found in Seattle and there are photos of what you might call her alter ego, which will prove the point. I'll show you copies later."

Getting a nod from Ricardo he knew he was on the right track the man accepting it and added. "She could have chosen the Castletown bank to move things on but she used this one to get back at Ben, he'd told them to take the money run. They decided to be greedy and invest it using Ben's scheme because it was such a good one. That deed ties her into the whole thing and we'll arrest her for fraud on the charity account as well once we've tied up all the lose ends.

You're right the Charity got the first two donations everything else was diverted into another account for her and her husband's future use. She needed the original information so she could set up her future forgeries, being an artist she could make things look right, made sure the banking order was to their account and other address and phone numbers were changed so she could get quires answered as necessary. Knowing these were long term projects and Ben was a private person the odd progress report would enough and she could slip in the odd one off appeal if necessary. I'm sorry but you have to accept she is a willing party to all this and from the moment she set eyes on Ben he became her victim."

Antonio sat down heavily trying to take it all in … this was his gentle older sister ... the one he looked up to, loved….

Ricardo couldn't sit so he started to pace round that part of the room. … He was seething not only at his sister but also at himself … he should have seen it …he knew she had a wilder side … thought she'd grown out of it as she'd got older.

Patrick asked him gently. "I take it you've not been back to your hometown recently."

Ricardo stopped for a moment, dug deep in his memory and gave a short hard laugh then not looking at them said. "No, Mama and Papa left when I was very young, family argument I believe. Papa did well in Sunset Beach and when he died the families didn't want to know Mama so Antonio's never been there. Maria went to help out the only Aunt who had kept in touch..."

Not wanting him to be sidetracked Patrick interrupted. "So in fact you might not have recognised the name of the town on Lynnette Cortes information sheet when you saw it earlier."

"Not till now no" Ricardo said a little less angrily understanding where Patrick was going and added "**Should** have thought about the photos, regardless the years in between them not just accepted the one." unwilling to relinquish blame just yet. ... He was guilty by blood … by family and carried on pacing.

Patrick gave a slight smile and admitted. "We are **both **to blame on that point. But things were happening fast then, and if we'd investigated Lynette first we would have come to a dead end, the town name just a coincidence then we would have investigated Carol afterwards and lost valuable time.

As you can see from Lynette's details Cortes is spelt with an 's' and she's American … I say that because she married Juan Cortez spelt with a 'z' who is American/Spanish."

Ricardo stopped pacing for a moment and looked at him.

Patrick smiled recognising 'that' look knew the police officer was winning over emotional brother and carried on. "Yes you are right. He thought doing Cortes with an 's' and changing date and place of birth and being single would be enough to cover his tracks. She came up later changing her name to Carol Lawson different birth date and place on the way to cover her tracks. They weren't worried about marriage vows been there done that and no one would look for him because he drowned down south … Yeah you get a lot of dead people walking in this story."

Ricardo glared at him knowing he was one as well but Patrick didn't know that so wouldn't understand and started pacing again.

Patrick gave a sigh; pleased that at least one of the 'walking dead' was the good guy and continued his story. "Originally Lynette and Juan ran a garage as well as a boat and was helped out by their cousin Terecro Petito Rodriguez as his name suggests he's a third child of a Spanish family. His father and older brother had a fishing boat and full crew so he worked as a mechanic on cars and boats but knew how to sail. Because they were both good at their jobs Juan also took people out for short boat trips, Lynette cooked and helped out at the pumps as well as dealing with the books for both families, so everything ticked over.

He paused for a moment pondering - he didn't want go hunting maps but needed them to know the lay of the land and said. "I think a little geography should be dropped in so you can understand things. You have a medium cove and a small fishing town, then about quarter of hour drive inland you have another town about the same size which farms the land around it and uses the cove as well. That's Ricardo's home town and there's about a half of an hour's drive to the main road the possibly an hour to the next town so they are an isolated community. The towns can't merge because of a deep ravine between them, but they are joined by a twisty road and a bridge.

As Ricardo said Maria looked after an Aunt so that her daughter could carry on working and help support the family. Maria had some evenings off and that was when she fell in love Terecro Petito Rodriguez. Yes mix and add letters and you get Rodney Peters you can also get Pedro and a lot of others. They kept the whole thing under wraps possibly because his older brother was going to get married soon or just because they wanted too. Bit more digging might tell us.

Maria used her full Spanish name Yolanda Maria Carmelita Torres and her Aunt's address so there was no Sunset Beach connection. Terecro used the garage address rather than his parents, though in fairness he was living at the garage at the time."

At Ricardo's stop, look and in take of breath to say something Patrick added firmly. "Both knew what they were doing and it was not a drunken spree."

Ricardo breathed out then said sharply. "Mama dropped Yolanda when Maria went to school she realised it would make her last on the class register and Maria was an easier name anyway. Told her not to send Maria to the Aunt she had no friends there and she needed friends and support but Mama wouldn't listen."

Patrick said in an even tone knowing it could sound trite. "None of this is yours or your mother's fault, Maria made all her choices."

Ricardo nodded and found a table's edge to sit on a little way away from everyone else; he'd been the father of the family at that time and felt responsible.

Patrick watched him settle and noticed Gabi was watching her husband and carried on "The couple were known to be friends and they hung out at the garage it was a natural gathering place as the bus stopped there. Lynette and Juan and Maria's cousin knew so they made sure the couple had private time together and it looked like a friendship on the surface unfortunately several weeks later the tragedy struck.

The Aunt died and a storm at sea took a young lad, Terecro's brother and father, the boat and his uncle survived. They'd gone to the aid of another boat in trouble, that was lost along with the owner and son, but they saved two other crewmen.

This meant that Terecro now had a mother and older sister to support, had a boat with only one crewman and a choice between his job as a mechanic or fisherman. The other family concerned was his brother's intended Fransica Pascal, they ran the firm that dealt with the fish and needed a boat and manager to carry on the firm. They could not afford a new one and employ experienced crewman to oversee the others and manage the firm. So it was decided with their consent that Fransica and Terecro would marry and pool resources thereby saving both families and town's business.

Terecro and Maria could have told everyone the truth and let the uncle and boat be hired by the other family and got income that way and although it was against tradition Fransica could have run the firm completely. But they didn't say anything and never go a divorce, they decided not to, because they were only going to be apart for awhile. Terecro would love Fransica and help run the firm till his sister and mother were secure. Maria … well she would go home and find a husband with money and when the time was right they would leave their partners and live together as husband and wife again somewhere else." He made sure he was looking at the brothers as he reinforced his words. "**As cold and as calculating as that.** We believe Maria told her cousin that they got a divorce, Sy and an officer are down there and will find out the truth."

Ricardo looked at Patrick and hissed his question. "Are you saying you've got proof that Maria married Ben just for money?"

Patrick didn't hesitate knowing it would hit home hard. "Yes, she tried to kill him on the day of the storm it was Terecro and Juan who picked her up and took her off to Seattle."

Shock running through him Antonio said without thinking. "But he'd died."

Ricardo got off the table stormed towards the door.

Gabi moved quickly and got to the door before he did and stood in front of him. As he stopped and glared at her breathing hard, she stood her ground looking at him knowing exactly what was going through his mind and said gently, hoping her voice would not shake. "You are not like her."

Ricardo took a breath and hissed out. "What I did to you and Antonio…."

She didn't blink or hesitate as she interrupted him with the truth. "Was done because we hurt you and no one trusted you with the truth. We did things behind your back because we didn't want to hurt you. You were hitting out in anger and you admitted to me that before you were found you were starting to think clearer. I have no doubt you would not have let it go all the way. Whatever Maria did she did in cold blood and you need to hear it and deal with it. I love and trust you as does your daughter and your brother." Still keeping her eyes on him Gabi put a hand on his arm ready to move out the way should he hit out. She understood that feeling because she was seething with anger at the hurt Maria had caused and was causing and would cause.

Ricardo stood breathing hard, feeling his heart pounding wanting to hit out at the world … yell to everyone it was not could not be true. Yet there was a little voice of reason pushing through saying Gabi's words 'he had to stay and hear it all', were the right thing to do and made him spin round to face Patrick and ask harshly. "You've hard proof?"

Patrick nodded and checking that Antonio was alright because he'd stayed silent said. "Documents, on and off the computer, though I've not looked through all of them just enough to know what happened and took copies and snap shots to get warrants this end. Paul and the other officers are still checking things through … no doubt we'll find more.

You can't say one was hiding all this from the other either, everything is in a small room and we found four sets of fingerprints so they've all been in there. It looks like part of a walk in wardrobe so a stranger wouldn't go in. In there are Ben's missing possessions, a whip and a clown's face mask that would hid a goatee and wig also photos taken of him in the basement at Seattle. From glancing through her written recollections and thoughts I know Ben was meant to drown the day of the storm, only the storm and Derek weren't planned."

He waited a moment letting the brothers take that bit in, noting that Antonio was still looking into the distance, he tossed up which name to use for the Jailer, Rodney or his real name. He decided on the real name for now hoping Antonio might be able to step back a bit, registering Ricardo's slight nod he knew the man had taken that bit in even if only on the surface and carried on. "It was not a spur of the moment thing, a lot had to come together to make it all work. First of all Terecro and Maria had to decide exactly when to do it and how to do it. Maria knew she would become a wealthy widow and the investments would grow, also they could live here or move up the coast if needs be.

Terecro had done well in his marriage to Fransica even loved her and their three children the youngest only six months old. The family firm was going from strength to strength, because of their combined drive and ideas. He had employed an under manager so she could also look after the children and there was a strong plan for the future so he knew the firm would not fold when he left. As for his side of the family, his mother had her own home and his sister had made a good local marriage six months earlier. They also included Juan and Lynette in their plans, because they wanted to move on and get extra cash.

We come to the day of the storm don't forget though they might have sensed slightly rough weather no one predicted such a storm. Terecro had set up a pattern that on certain days he would travel inland first thing and be back late morning or early afternoon. He did it that day and his car was later seen at the bottom of the ravine by a passing bus, there was so little traffic on the road it wasn't surprising no one witnessed it. It was deemed to be too dangerous for anyone to retrieve the wreck but they got close enough to see the driver was dead and by the clothes he was wearing it was Terecro. Needless to say a team of experts will go down there in the next day or two to retrieve any evidence and then we will know whether or not we have to add murder to charges.

When Juan was told of his cousin's death he went out in his boat alone to mourn, the cousins were close so no one expected him back till sunset. He never returned and the storm that caught everyone up here worked its way down the coast so everyone believed he was a casualty especially as flotsam was found the next day.

Terecro tipped the car over the edge of the ravine to set the scene then made his way to his cousin's boat and hid on board, hence Juan's need to mourn at sea. Once they were sure no one was around to see them they chucked stuff overboard knowing it would be picked out of the water or washed up some when. They weren't concerned when just as long as it was found, they'd made sure it was all good enough to fool the insurance company, so they'd been busy over the past months getting things just right.

On their way up the coast they changed the name of the boat and their appearances and put up tags on their sails. Then they hung around in the bay or anchored outside Sunset Beach to wait and meet the Mariah and help Maria deal with Ben that evening. They rode out the storm and rescued Maria when they saw what happened. There were several boats in the area but visibility was patchy so they used it to their advantage and once they realised Ben was being rescued and sailed up the coast to Seattle.

The original plans were to get Ben onto the Mariah for a spur of the moment romantic evening sail drugged and tipped overboard, and Maria would make sure she wasn't seen going aboard. If that didn't work he would have been drugged or killed at home and Terecro would take the Mariah out dump the body then get a lift back on Juan's boat. Either way Maria would have raised the alarm in morning saying Ben had gone out to be alone to clear his head and had not come home and she was worried. The Mariah would have been found adrift with evidence that Ben had been drinking and had taken headache pills staggered overboard. She would become a rich widow and Terecro would be a friend who she would eventually marry. Instead when she dried out after they rescued her, she knew there had been a twin around and she needed a new plan so went to Seattle."

Not realising it Jude nodded remembering Bob's words and at Patrick and the brothers' looks he said. "Something Bob told me I'll explain later."

Patrick nodded and knowing this was not going to get any better for them and carried on. "Lynette stayed behind played the distraught widow and collected the insurance money for the boat and man then sold the garage and told everyone she was thinking of moving back to her parents in another State. She didn't, she went to Seattle and became Carol Lawson and joined Juan.

A lot has to be checked out but the gist of it is the money Maria collected from Ben over the years bought and helped renovate the four apartments. Carol chipped in with the insurance money and bought two apartments and got the income from subletting one, Maria kept the other two subletting where necessary and the landlord's name is Terence Stamp with a box number address to cover tracks. The group used assumed names and alter egos and started their new lives. Maria did art work and learnt about computer art; Juan and Carol found work at the firework company and came across Derek. I've no doubt Juan and Terecro set the blaze that destroyed the house at Franklin Street whether with it was Derek's blessing or not, we will never know … it was his house.

Terecro followed his love for engines, worked and then bought into partnership of the garage and kept the owners name on everything, that's never changed though he owns it now and the cars are in the garage's name as well. So he doesn't get his hands dirty unless he tinkers with old cars, no one was surprised that he started a new computer company in the rooms above the garage under a different name. As for the history of their house we'll look into that later, possibly tomorrow.

We were lucky Carol and Juan told us their story once they found out they would be facing conspiracy, fraud, kidnapping, arson and attempted murder charges. Carol was round at Maria and Rodney's house checking it over when we called to deliver the search warrant so that was nice and easy … no broken doors to explain. Of course it helped they were under surveillance so we got them at the same time and had phones etc monitored in case Maria or Rodney called in.

I should explain that Terecro's mother was American with a hint of Spanish and his father was true Spanish. Terecro took after the American side of the family in looks that's why no one would have connected Pedro or Terecro away from home. His brother and sister took after the Spanish side, he was never keen on his name and his family wouldn't let him use the translation of his second name of Joseph so he called himself Pedro. He's had a lot names but I guess he decided Rodney Peters gave him what he wanted so he used that for his final set of names."

Patrick stopped he was getting dry and walked over to the coffee machine, things were calmer now and after taking a sip carried on. "We go back to the night of the storm for a moment, as Maria and Derek fought they exchanged information but she got the upper hand by injuring Derek with the scissors. Thinking she's killed him she runs to Ben hoping she can selvage her original plan and get her helpers to clear the other mess up later. Derek on the other hand finds out he's not dead and retires to back to Seattle to Tess and decided not get any closer, he couldn't risk Murphy's Law where his twin was concerned. Maria knew Ben had dealings with the bigger cities and she needed space to live she was also intrigued about this twin she'd killed so went to Seattle.

She finds out she didn't kill Derek and we didn't have time to get all the ins and outs but the gist of it is the two couples had their own agenda. Maria couldn't get pregnant and needed fertility treatment felt Ben should pay for it and Derek well just wanted Ben's money for his family. There had been talk about a partnership and halving the money. **But** I reckon if you think of scorpions dancing then you'll get the picture of the two. Though I do think there was a mutual something between those two. Tess certainly didn't like Maria and only tolerated her going round to Franklin Street because she knew Derek needed to know what Maria was thinking. On the last occasion Tess drugged Maria tied her to a bed and was going to kill her, Derek had made his move to get all of Ben's fortune. But Maria escaped and tried to head off or beat Derek to the fortune, faked an accident and supposed loss of memory. Derek on the other hand was on the island which leading up to Ben's kidnapping and the rest as they say is history."

Patrick paused while the others got their drinks and then carried on knowing he was coming to the end and wanted to hear Jude's story. "Whether Maria kept her partner informed I don't know we'll have to check phone records now we know the numbers. We know Tess rang Derek who got in contact with Rodney and they hatched the plan and kidnap Ben when he got to Seattle. Rodney used and a voice changer so that Juan could take over when necessary. We tried out the thing out and it's creepy to say the least, add clown outfit, drugs and poor light I'm surprised it didn't drive Ben round the bend. Of course Rodney didn't really need payment to keep Ben he was having payback on the man who married his wife. **So Jude** what did Ben say."

Before Jude could answer Ricardo, remembering the couple's courtship and marriage felt compelled to ask. "Did she love Ben at all do you think, because he loved and trusted her."

Patrick sighed. "I've not read everything but I did notice she's not written a lot about her time with Ben or Derek so I can't honestly say, she doesn't say if Derek knew she was playing or not either. She knew Rodney loved his wife and children, perhaps she just wanted to keep that part private but she did know Ben loved and trusted her."

Jude sighed and saw Ricardo give a shake of his head and shrug and the brothers exchanged a look and after moment got their attention and told them what Bob had told him and his ideas and surprised when Patrick chuckled and looked at him as did the others.

Patrick couldn't help it and sighed knowing he really had to get to meet this man and looking at Jude asked. "Do you think Ben **knew** what he was doing to the Jailer?"

"Oh yes ... especially once he knew the truth." Seeing everyone turn towards him Ricardo realised he'd spoken out loud and stayed silent as he ran through his thoughts. – His mind was settling, he was stepping back … yes he was still angry but he knew his sister had not been coerced, had not been just a little wild all those years ago as he'd thought … she'd been evil and hid it well. He also knew his mother was going to be hurt but also they would weather this storm together not fall apart.

Knowing that he and Antonio knew Ben better than anyone else here and he should explain his outburst said. "Ben might not have been able to much physically while in the basement to get back at the jailer but he could still get under his skin. He's got a look and quiet attitude that wraps around him when you tread on his toes and he can't do anything about it or he's guarding something.

Yeah he gave it me when I accused him of murdering Maria and I'd wait for him to make his mistake, arrest him and never forgive him. And all the times I came back at him over the years thinking I could rattle him as well. I can tell you it **really** pisses you off, makes you want to bang your head against the wall in frustration because you can't get round it in any direction. The jailer would have faced that look and attitude no matter how many times he told Ben the drug he was making him take might be the one that killed him or how scared Ben actually was."

Antonio cracked a smile and nodded, he'd face that look when he asked a question Ben hadn't wanted to answer … the emotions were still there… raw and hurting but adjustment to the truth was coming through. The others smiled as it had been said with real depth of feeling and were ready to let Ricardo carry on if he wanted knowing talking would do him good.

Ricardo sighed closing the memory of those years he'd niggled at Ben and was relieved by his brother's reactions andadded. "Ben would have known the jailer was a tool and guessed his brother would want to be in at his death so hoped if he buckled down and waited he would beat his brother then. He'd done it once and Ben has a huge amount of patients as well as a persuasive tongue, and I expect the jailer had a hard time not to tell Ben the truth to get back at him. But realised that would be counter productive; if things went wrong and Derek lost they wouldn't have the divorce money and they would both be in jail.

Come Christmas morning they told him the truth and gave him the fuel to undermine them make … them do it on his terms not theirs. That must have niggled afterwards and the others fell into place Maria would have been a suspect, mind you that faithfulness could cut both ways but she'd had Derek and Ben. They thought they would cut and run with money but by having to keep him alive the jailer had to think about Ben, check on things here and be Ben for those emails. So they couldn't settle to their new life, perhaps he would wonder how Maria felt about him at those times as well. Ben also protected Benjy and us by making sure the couple moved out of town and that must have hurt because she'd only just come back. Jude said Ben hoped to take them with him over the cliff … he would have done it if he could. He's right Benjy knew how to phone myself and Antonio, he'd done it several times and he knew about 911 and they wouldn't be cross if rang."

Of course the biggest niggle would be the divorce settlement, the jailer would never be able to match it overcome it, it was an investment so it would grow, Ben did it so Maria could be fully independent. Before with the charity money he'd been able to bring home the bread be alpha male to his mate … he couldn't be that now. Ben's shadow would be over him forever even his children would be partly Ben's because that money would pay for the treatment so they could be born and everything they did would be touched by it. His job would be a hobby nothing more and couldn't tell her to ditch it all … go back to what they had before, she would say it was hers by right … Ben had given it to her."

Coming to a conclusion Ricardo added with feeling. "As for their trip here now knowing what I do they came back to lay his ghost, to get their small elicit gains here in Sunset Beach … the other one Ben had given her freely. And then to collect the Seattle car and pretend the middle years with Ben never happened. She introduced Rodney to us getting our sympathy about the first marriage and welcome the last one and she said she didn't want to come back here we could visit her. They would both go to collect that other car and they would look at the wreck of Ben's and say they'd won because Ben was dead. They'd drive in convey and for him more than her Ben's shadow would disappear, the money would become just money and they would pack that room up put his things in storage and start their new life about nine months later than they'd originally planned … there were no emails to write any more."

As Ricardo paused Jude added softly. "Only to find the ghost is very much alive **and** because the jailer still needed to get one over Ben one way or another he and Maria are going down."

Ricardo and Patrick nodded the others felt the fine line of coincidences wash over them and Antonio who was coming to terms with it asked quietly. "What about Fransica Pascal."

Patrick broke away from his thoughts and gave a slight smile understanding this was his way of coping and said. "That is the other reason it had to be now. She is getting married late tomorrow afternoon and the gathering would enable Rodney to see his children, pass them over to their new family and then start his other family. Sy, a police officer and the local Priest will visit her and explain everything and hopefully she'll be able to marry in her proper name and the wedding will not be delayed. It will also be suggested that the children be officially adopted by their new father immediately after the wedding …"

Everyone one's attention went to the office door which had violently swung open crashing against the cabinet and Annie stormed in and yelled at Jude. "**What the Hell's going on!** Why am I wearing these things!" and had to slow to ward off the door because it came back at her on the rebound.

In spite of the situation Jude had to smother a grin and so did Ricardo, the others just shuffled a bit, possibly wondering where to hide … even a hurricane seemed like an understatement.

Spencer managed to slip into the room avoiding both Annie and the door and said quickly. "Sorry boss only things to hand."

Annie was fuming, she'd had a good evening out then got stopped by Spencer on the way home and things got weird with written notes and total silences … the total being emphasised but she went along understanding it was to protect Maria. **But **then she had to undress and then be dressed in her idea of **Hell **memories of the orange jumpsuit along with this police station were flooding through and mixing with her worry and temper. …Redhead and orange didn't mix well.

Jude fleeting wondered if so but nodded and asked Spence. "Find anything."

Picking at the orange sleeves trying to get rid of that itchy feeling the thing gave her Annie also started to feel that things were not well … everyone had gone serious since her entrance and she recognised some of the people in the room and started to calm down … a bit.

"She was given a brooch which is with the rest of her clothing, we have not checked her bag or shopping, there's a radio on in the room as well as a 'don't disturb' sign on the door so it should be okay."

"Okay good enough." Jude didn't want to explain just yet but needed answers so asked. "Annie, how did they seem to you?"

Annie had stopped now and huffed knowing by his tone he was in serious mode and that time might be of the essence so answered without fuss. "Fine, very much in love still and chatting about everything and nothing, enjoyed the film and meal etc. Said they might pop out to The Deep for a late drink but not sure and she's seeing her mother in the morning before they go down the coast for a night to try out the new car. What's he done?"

Jude looked round the group knowing they didn't need to hear it all again and knew the change of scene would do the brothers good and said. "Okay let's take five, Ricardo can you check at the desk warn them about the trip out to The Deep and see if there's any more news about your mother's arrival and things in general. Patrick and Tony check out with the other officers we'll need them. Antonio, Gabi if you'll go with Ricardo possibly check on your daughter and then come back, I would like to check a few things out with you all, Spence you can stay you need an update."

As Antonio and Gabi went out with Ricardo Jude turned back to Annie and said gently. "Sit down love and let me explain why we are going to arrest Maria and Rodney in the early hours of the morning …."


	56. Chapter 56

As you know dreams can be weird … well … the pieces written in Italics are Ben's experiences while unconscious.

Hope you enjoy.

**Chapter 56**

_Moving through the chaos of images and pain towards the distant voice Ben suddenly found himself back in the terrifying cycle of him kneeling before Maria in Ocean Drive and on through it till he was tumbling down the cliff hitting the last bush that helped slow his fall before crash landing on the sand patch on the beach engulfed in pain then darkness. _

_The darkness didn't come and lying at the bottom of the cliff gathering his shattered wits and breathing through the pain he realised the voice he'd been trying to get to was louder and had been there all the way through the cycle he'd just been through and had not been there originally. Which meant __**it**__ wasn't part of the chaos … __**it**__ was outside … and something he could hang onto … like his love for Meg had been. _

_After a moment he slowly and carefully sat up, then stood and turned towards the cliff face knowing he would have to climb it again if he was to get anywhere … and found confused images closing in on him. As they engulfed him he stood firm and concentrated on the voice he could hear and found though he became part of the images he managed to slip in and out of them easily. He also started to sense if he turned in one direction he would get to the voice and started to push through them rather than letting them come to him and getting trapped in them._

_It worked well for a while but then for some reason he hesitated and found himself back in Ocean Drive on his knees and facing Maria … again the voice now louder stayed with him and there was a difference this time … unclear images flickered through the sequence of events and the whole thing became less frightening but more confusing. As he felt himself tumble down the cliff again he realised whose voice it was and called out "Doctor Tim" hoping it would stop the chaos by waking up or whatever. Crashing onto the beach he knew Tim was a friend beyond this cycle and listening closely to the words being spoken the pain and difficulty in breath eased not only that the words started to strike a cord._

_Concentrating on them he started to get up ready to face climbing the cliff again knowing the flicker images were of his time with Tim … and found he was sitting on a seat looking out across a pond. Accepting the weirdness of it all he took a deep breath found all the pain had gone completely and he could feel the warmth from the waterproof riding coat he was wearing whereas he'd just had his torn shirt to keep him war. Looking around he recognised the woods, mountains in the distance and fields … and working around the farm but out of calling distance he could make out familiar figures. Then he heard the noise of the geese and the familiar reply from the gander and as they wandered into view wondered if he too was going to be rounded up. And knew he'd never quite understood just who was guarding whom when it came to the gander and himself then spotted a young girl standing silently watching him and knew he knew her and she was special. _

_The gander and girl disappeared as Tim's voice and words brought new images of other days on the farm and as he slipped from one to another he realised these were from beyond the cycle that had caught and frightened him. Answering the urge to talk to Tim he called his name and tried to break through the barrier that seemed to surround him and found he was falling into the darkness. … The darkness turned into the cliff face and he was crashing down onto the beach again and Tim's voice was drifting into the background. … Lying there getting his breath back he realised the landing had been less painful and he could breath all right but then images of Ocean Drive and Maria's voice threatened to surround him again so he screwed his eyes up concentrated on Tim's voice … _

_And found himself in a room, lying on a bed, having just woken up and was being watched by the young girl. He had no idea who she was or he was, where or how he came to be there just that he woke and was thirsty and hurt so didn't want to move too much. … When he tried to ask for water no words or sound came out but it didn't disturb the young girl with sad eyes, she pointed to him and then to herself and then cupping her hand mimed drinking. He understood that and tried to nod yes, but wasn't sure it happened so gave a long blink and watched her again. _

_She nodded and again pointed to herself and then using the fingers of one hand walked them across the open palm of the other then cupped them together and put them on the floor before bringing them back to her lap. He understood her message was over and she was going to get the drink and watched her leave the room. He felt sadness wash over him and wanted her back or something back but wasn't strong enough to do anything else but wait._

_Waiting for her return he sighed and remembered her name was Betsy and he'd trusted her and the geese more than the adults. Hearing Tim's voice get louder he knew he'd trusted them all over the months he been at the farm and knew he'd never managed to break that barrier of silence or darkness when trying to remember his past. Suddenly he felt as he had that day of wakening … he had to get out of that room … out of the house and eased himself off the bed to stumble to the doorway. _

_And found he was sitting on the bench looking across the pond feeling concerned that Betsy had been hurt and he was alone on the farm … not even the gander to stop or guard him. As he sat there images and then understanding flashed through his mind and remembered some important things from his past and knew he had to get to town and tell Helen and Tim. He needed their help if he was to keep Meg and the others safe and return home. As he started to get up off the bench he found himself in his childhood feeling the love of his family including his twin and realised that finding Betsy had helped him say goodbye to his brother and accept his part in his death … _

_Feeling a different touch on his wrist and a different voice made him fret and everything threatened to jumble up again. … Gradually recognising Tyu's voice and touch he knew the doctor was checking him over and tried again to break through the barrier. … Couldn't and slipped into darkness and found new images from his time in Sunset Beach all around him. _

_Moving through them he knew they were his memories … some were newer than others and these he wasn't too sure of because he could not understand how he got them or back there. They all stacked up against the others and hearing the two doctors' voices disappear and there was silence … he fretted. … He was alone with all these memories stacking up around him and he didn't know what to do with them. … How to cope with them ... There had been darkness or nothing or they'd just disappeared when he woke … but he could not wake to get away from them …and there were such a lot … and they were all stacked up … could fall around him then what would he do …. _

_He hunted the silence for Tim's voice or the other voice that had been eluding him … the one that had been there for him in the past sometime … and heard a female voice and lost everything in pure panic. It was **her … she … they'd **found him. And he was tumbling down that cliff again and with the gunshots ringing in his ears and the pain engulfing him he landed on the beach. _

_As he lay catching his breath and in pain he realised the female voice had stayed with him like Tim's had … **it** was calm gentle … not laughing or threatening … **it** was not **her's** …** they** were not there …. _

_The pain and panic disappeared as he recognised Helen's voice and he found himself sitting on the bench watching the ducks on the pond and he was wearing a stripy jumper instead of the coat and knew like the coat it meant warmth and security. As he listened to her words he knew he was safe and everything was all right, but he also felt the pressure from all his memories starting to build up again and to overwhelm him and he could not break through the barrier to explain to her. _

_Trying to ignore the pressure he listened to Helen words as he had Tim's and realised she was telling him how to cope with them all, make them smaller and put them in their proper places so they could come and go at his will not theirs. He slowly worked his way through them realising she was repeating what she said and if something failed he could try again. The cycle of tumbling down the cliff stopped, chaos and pressure eased … he was getting control and could recall and put away. His fear lessened but guilt started to grow... _

_Helen's words also brought other images around him and these triggered ones he never realised he had till now. They were confusing but gradually he understood he'd been a traveller on the road and remembered and lost memories every day and was silent and because of this no one could give him the clues he needed to find the people who could help him. He'd not run away he'd shut down because of the gunshots he'd heard as he'd left the farm that day to find them and he'd made it back to Sunset Beach even if he'd not understood how or why. _

_Everything that was around him was his story … his past … _

_And things changed._

_Screwing up his eyes slightly as he adjusted to the light and change he found he was looking across the bay at the beautiful sunset and realised he was sitting on the rocks, hearing the waves gently breaking against them. And felt there was something familiar … right about it and being there … but didn't know where here was or who he was. Hearing a voice behind him he turned to see a man standing on the beach, knew he'd just called to him and knew he could trust him completely even if he was a stranger to him._

_Now he knew the man was not a stranger he was Father Antonio … a friend … another person he'd managed to talk to and allowed the other images to follow on. When they confused him or he was unsure or they frightened him he turned to Helen's voice and found he could relax and put them in their right order and understood them and these were helping him get closer to his goal._

_Suddenly he heard Betsy's laughter and looked over at her and realised she was helping him put plants in round the pond at the chalet at the garden centre and knew his soulmate was close by and they trusted each other. Meg had taken him away from the danger when he asked her too … had helped him remember things. … He was nearly there … home … a home she'd found for him …for them … and had a feeling he'd missed something important somewhere in his memories and knew he needed to find 'that' voice again … and carried on listening to Helen's words … …_

oxoxo

Tucked up in the bed clothes but hugging her knees Meg knew she should be sleeping, she was tired it had been a long day by anyone's standards. But she couldn't there were too many maybes, what ifs and ghosts running round her mind in spite of her talk with Helen and Bob …Oh not forgetting Tyus and Tim either. She glanced at the clock it was gone 1 am and huffed wondering is she could **really** get away with going for another walk to the bathroom to settle herself, and heard a gentle. "If you don't go to sleep I'll get Tim to give you the biggest pill he can find or a big mallet."

She smiled and looked at Bob, it was surprising just how quiet he could be on his crutches and felt him lean against her bed as he carried on very quietly so as not to disturb Helen or Ben. "He's much better than he was and is breathing well, what's more Tyus and Tim are happy **so** should you be."

Meg sighed and Bob gave a very quiet and gentle chuckle. "He loves you and came back to you even if he doesn't know it first thing in the morning. Yes he'll be hurt by what he remembers but he dealt with it subconsciously while he was with us. You're rightly angry with everything but remember he is safe and you are his wife. That's what he wanted and from what you told us what you want. He knows you, understands you and never put you on a pedestal; you know him and all his layers now. He needs you to be **you** with love not pity or guilt. But don't be afraid to talk to him, though he might just want you to be with him at the moment, questions and answers later. We'll be around for both of you … neither of you will be on your own."

Meg nodded understanding what he was getting at and let him carry on. "So, close your eyes and picture the time you've had in the garden getting it ready and planting it up **not **the later bit. You know he's likely to be up with the dawn, so don't worry if we are not here when you wake. Just check with Helen or Tim before coming and find us. I'm going to take over from Sis so stay still and quiet if there's any reaction from Ben. Remember we can't have your voice disturbing him at the moment he needs to get some sleep not waking wanting more answers."

She nodded feeling her tiredness and a few aching muscles from the day but temptation to wait and watch the change over just in case he woke and then would snuggle down and sleep was huge. But at Bob's slight shake of his head she reckoned he must have been reading her thoughts … **again** … and gave a gentle huff then snuggled down in the blankets. Closing her eyes she tried to draw on the memories of gardening with Ben and found herself thinking about Betsy's smile and laughter as they planted the plants and gradually drifted to sleep.

oxoxo

Satisfied Meg was really asleep Bob carefully moved away from the bed and made his way to his sister. When he was close enough he made sure his voice didn't carry to Ben and said. "I'll take over and catnap till morning" adding in a hopeful tone, "then toasties and coffee or tea would be good." and put his crutches beside the chair out of the way but ready for use later.

Helen smiled and got up she'd been getting ready to check Ben over, just as Tim had knowing it would reassure Ben and he was far more settled than he had been. Whereas Tim had held Ben's wrist all the time she'd broken contact every so often till she only touched his wrist to check his pulse she'd also brought I silences and explained about sleep. So he would understand what would happen when he slept and that they needed to sleep but would be around if he woke and so he wouldn't be frightened by the silence or feel alone. She'd also moved the chair away giving him the feeling of distance now he was more settled.

Checking his pulse she knew it was near normal but not one of someone asleep so he was still working in there … still not resting even though he looked asleep and hadn't moved since his collapse. Knowing they were changing over she said gently as she held his wrist "Ben it's time to sleep now. Your memories will stay in place and come and go at your bidding. I'm going to rest now, Bob's here to watch over you. You'll feel his touch as he checks your pulse then you will hear his voice for a while then there will be silence as he'll catnap and will wake if you need him. Everyone is safe and you are nearly home so go to sleep." She hadn't wanted to say actually home in case it tripped him back into Ocean Drive being his home then and not knowing his new home, she'd already explained he was at the garden centre but she couldn't be sure he would accept it as home either.

Bob knew the routine so took Ben's hand gently as Helen left go, he needed to gauge Ben's pulse for future reference and it enabled Ben to understand the Passover and said gently. "Ben you need to sleep so you can wake in the morning and then we can..." And stopped feeling his hand gripped hard and looked at Ben's face to see what was happening.

Helen froze and watched as they both saw Ben's eyes open and he looked straight at her brother. Not sure whether Ben was really with them Bob said gently "Ben its okay." as much too reassure himself as well because this was so amazing and frightening… anything could happen.

_Feeling the whisperings of tiredness Ben knew Helen's words were right but there were still images he felt needed dealing and hearing Bob's name they shimmered … the name was important to him feeling the touch and hearing 'that' swept everything aside. Suddenly he was in murky light sitting next to the road in pain, cold and too exhausted to know what to do next. Then a light, a reassuring voice and caring touch stopped him from descending into nothingness and darkness. And instinctively he grabbed the hand knowing it would stop the cycle. He had been with 'that 'voice on the farm and they'd talked as he been through the frightening cycle in Ocean Drive … it was here and he was holding his hand. Smashing through the barriers that had held him opened his eyes and then voiced the fears that flashed through his mind knowing this was the voice he'd been searching for._ **"Benjy, Meg and Antonio safe?"**

Bob smiled at that insistent question and understood the added name and said gently but firmly. "Antonio is safe; Meg is here at the garden centre sleeping in the other bed. Benjy is with Hank, they will come sometime tomorrow when you are awake. Jude's dealing with everything else. All you need to do is sleep and we'll talk in the morning."

_Though he knew he'd broken through the barriers Ben couldn't see the person everything was a blur but hearing his answer knew it was outside what had been going on in his mind. Knowing he could trust those words he remembered his phone call to Antonio … knew he was safe at the Mission and Benjy was with Hank … there was also something drifting through his mind about stairs. But it was washed away by the relief that Meg was nearby and the memory of her with him in the garden. Then all his memories started drift into the darkness and rather than tumbling down the cliff he felt tiredness wash over him and the need for reassurance so asked._ **"Stay till morning?"**

Bob heard the tiredness in Ben's voice and said. "I'll be in the chair by the wall watching you Ben." and felt the man's grip slacken till he could gently take own his hand away, but he didn't he readjusted his grip so he could check Ben's pulse and then rested them both on the bed cover and waited.

As Ben's eyes closed Bob heard a very sleepy **"Thank you." **

He stood watching hardly breathing and then checked Ben's pulse and found it steady and knew the man was asleep. He released his hand then moved back to the chair and sat down hardly believing what had happened … that it had even happened. And felt a ripple of shock and amazement run through him. True he'd stopped victims going into deep shock after their experiences before that was part of his job but never anything like this.

Helen came over with the spare blanket and put it over Bob's knees then crouched down beside him knowing he would ponder life, the universe and all the 'what ifs' that ever existed once he come down from the adrenalin rush he was experiencing. And said gently but firmly so he would understand it was the truth. "No matter what happens tomorrow you've got a real job here."

Bob looked at her and could see happiness and concern so gave a slight nod to show he was listening not trusting his voice at the moment.

Accepting the nod she carried on. "If they operate on your knee you will need to recover, even if they can't do anything Ben will need you ... that's just been proved if you didn't believe it before. If you can't work in the Field as you've done recently then you can help people recover or teach others how to help. Not many people could do what you've done today or that morning you found him ... without knowing you he trusted you and you brought him though. Neither of the jobs will be token ones and you'll always have a home here or down at our brother's we love you and need you. See you later, sleep don't worry."

Without waiting for a reply she got up and put a hand on his shoulder giving it a squeeze and felt his hand on her arm as an acknowledgement. Glancing over at Ben knowing he was sleeping she started to walk into the other room pondering. - Today had been amazing; even with what had just happened and tomorrow … well should be really interesting to say the least then there would be tomorrow … they had so much to look forward to now. … As she passed Meg she noticed she hadn't woken and went back to settle her own mind down guessing Tim would have woken and he'd want to talk and then perhaps they would sleep … catnap or toss and turn till the real morning….

As Bob made himself comfortable in the chair he went into work mode putting part of his mind on alert as far as Ben was concerned and the other... well that would eventually drift into catnapping after pondering his sister's words. He knew in some ways it was time for him to settle down one way or the other. He had no option regarding tomorrow so that would be crunch day ... the crossroads of his life. He'd looked on the job he might be offered as a token job … they had to give him something so this was it … but now … now he felt that he could really make a difference. … He'd seen it and felt it today and could explain it to others … could give it or help others. And then there was that receptionist at headquarters who was nice, always greeted him and they'd talked once or twice at the canteen. He'd not done anything about it knowing he might not come back from a job or be badly injured neither was fair on a new relationship but now it might be different… … …

oxoxo

With the help from the security lights around the Mission Father Antonio made his way quickly through the graveyard till he came near the grave he wanted and then stopped. He stayed silent for a moment listening to the sound of the private words being spoken and then walked over and crouched down by his mother who'd been sitting there since they'd come back from the police station several hours ago.

He knew she was hurting there had been tears, disbelief, anger, guilt and loss … and were all mixed in together now and said gently. "Mama you must come in now, Papa wouldn't want you to catch cold." and paused hoping for a reaction.

It was the only way he could think of getting her attention or her to move having just caught her whispered Spanish words and automatically translated into English. Getting no reaction he added gently but firmly. "It wasn't your fault, it wasn't anyone's fault, it was just her Mama … and she was going to lie to you and leave you again today."

Heartbroken Carmen eased herself round feeling the cold for the first time and looked at her son and asked knowing what his faith meant to him. "Can you forgive her as you should?"

Antonio had been asking himself that question since he found out the truth about his sister and knew he should but also knew he couldn't and said honestly. "No Mama not yet … maybe never ... not sure I could believe her words if she asked me too, either. I remember her sitting with me when we were young … I felt safe when she was around and believed what she told me. Now, I don't know where or when her lies began. She could have been like it all the time or just when she got older. Might have been because of the man she met or even the shock of Papa's death."

He gave a gentle sigh as he carried on. "Truth is I doubt we shall ever know, she's obviously fooled the experts here and Seattle so who's going to believe what she says. What I do know is we all loved her with our hearts and that is all we could have done. Please come in and rest, it will be along day tomorrow." As he stood up he held out his hand so she could get up hoping that would get her to move.

After looking at it then back at him standing over her Carmen huffed and accepted the help and got up. As she stood she realised she was cold and stiff, she always came here when she was troubled but never felt this cold or this old or so much at a loss before. She understood her young son's words and knew it would not be over tomorrow either and wondered just when he'd grown to be so wise or calm and calming.

As her mind drifted back over her children and their differences … because they were so different … it threatened to churn again on her daughter so she only just caught her son gentle words. "Mama I want you to stay with Ricardo and Gabi tomorrow. Cathy is your granddaughter and it's a good time to get to know her."

She looked at him and started to protest in Spanish that it wasn't right, could never be right...

Antonio wasn't going to have it and looking at her with love and said firmly cutting her off before she really got started. "Mama the cards are just a tool you use. You've always listened to your friends and clients then gave advice and let them decide what to do for the best. For your family though you seem to think what's written in the cards is done in stone, and cannot be changed. It's not. Gabi is good for him and gives him the love and security he needs even without their daughter. He like you tried to do the right thing regarding Maria and needs to know he has your love and understanding … just as you have ours."

She said nothing for the rest of the way back into the Mission thinking things through as best she could and as they came to her room she turned to her son and said softly. "Papa would be proud of you and I will do as you ask if you do one thing for me."

Antonio looked at her guardedly then nodded.

Without taking her eyes off him, seeing the deep pain in his calmness Carmen said softly. "You must go to Ben first thing in the morning and tell him I'm sorry."

Antonio stayed silent feeling Ben wouldn't want to see anyone from this family yet … maybe never after all they'd betrayed him ….

Seeing and understanding his hesitation Carmen added. "You've been there for him when we weren't. He trusts you even when he doesn't remember anything about you or himself and you return that trust without prejudice."

Antonio sighed and nodded then kissed her on her cheek and let her go into her room and called out. "Sleep Mama." Hoping she would and wouldn't just sit and think. He glanced at his watch and realised it was nearly 2 am and wondered if he could take his own advice or just sit and think for a while about what could he say to Ben … …

"Father"

He turned and saw Sister Jane and smiled.

She was carrying a tray with two mugs on it and when she came level she stopped and said. "Father Brown said you needed one and he would like you to join him, Carmen all right?"

As they started to walk in the direction of Father Brown's study he answered. "As all right as can be expected, I'm hoping she'll stay with Ricardo tomorrow."

Sister Jane gave a gentle laugh and said. "They could all stay here if they wanted. It's away from the reporters and there's enough room to give each other space if need be and enough Sisters around to give protection as well."

Antonito smiled and sighed. "Perhaps you are right and it will take time, it was Ricardo who suggested it."

She nodded and said gently. "I think you need them around as well Father. It you could knock I've left my third hand behind again."

Antonio laughed and knocked then opened the door at the command from the inside and followed Sister Jane in.

Sister Jane said as she put the tray on the table. "I found the lost sheep Father." And then turned and left them.

Smiling Father Brown looked at Antonio and said. "Sit in the chairs over by the fire, I've no doubt she's added something special to the tea and she'll pop in and see your mother as well. I want you to forget you are a Priest for the moment and be your true self and if it will help think of me as a friend or uncle rather than a senior Priest."

Antonio nodded knowing he could shed his other self for the moment and went over to the chairs and sat down.

Oxoxo

The Deep closed at half one and the happy crowd came out some walking home, others deciding to walk along the beach before collecting their cars and others went straight to their cars and drove off. All unaware of the plain clothes police officer watching from the shadows making sure a certain couple walking along the beach didn't see him and he didn't lose them. After a while they turned back and went to their car and drove off and the watching officer found a quiet spot and rang an number and on immediate pick up said. "Just drove off after a short walk along the beach, both are relaxed, looking good to go. I'm coming in." closed the call and went to his car.

In the station the message was passed on, no one was following the couple just in case they could sense it and only a few officers knew exactly what was going on. The 'ears and eyes' would have to wait till the car turned up at the house before confirming anything, so they were checking equipment for the tenth time, their watches and just how long it would take the couple to get there and when to press the panic button if they didn't arrive.

Back at the station the radio operator checked round the patrols in the usual way to make sure they knew where each car was, and put in a code word which alerted the patrols on the outskirts they might be needed to close the road.

The young officer whose house had been taken over by the team knocked on the bedroom door and hearing a grunt said. "They've left The Deep Sir. Coffees and sandwiches are on the table and there's an update from Paul in Seattle on the computer." This was a new side of the work to go with a new station and town … goodness knows what his neighbours thought. After all it wasn't everyday you had a team of officers ... police and FBI creeping up stairs through out the night. The downside was everyone else had had to keep quiet as they did it, and block their ears to the words that were said as they found the creaking third and sixth stair that all houses on this side of the estate seemed to have. As for getting into the house silently, well his boss had been in and out of their front door several times … after they knew the couple had left for The Deep of course. Though this house was not on the route to the Deep everyone here knew Fate was fickle and didn't need to temp it.

"Okay thanks will be down in moment and I'll rouse the others." Jude called out as he stretched; he'd taken a nap on the bed as he'd been up all day. Patrick and Tony had catnapped on the plane down but were also resting downstairs along with the other officers. They'd got all the necessary warrants and had gone through everything and knew it would be the eyes and the ears on the house that would give them the final time to enter. He'd wanted to be in the other house but knew it was too close for comfort, this one had doors out of sight and they could come and go with ease. The 'ears and eyes' were being extra careful using long distant equipment to make sure nothing could give them away or set off any traps Rodney might have set. At least they knew the coupled used the front room if they'd used the other it would have been impossible to find out when they were actually asleep.

As he washed and then went downstairs Jude reckoned they'd still need an hour after the couple went to bed. He needed them to be in that deeper sleep so they would miss that unknown creek that was bound to be there or feel that instinctive twitch that tells you someone else is in the house ... well till it was too late to do anything that is. He wondered about Paul's update, he'd expected him to be on the doorstep knowing he wanted to be around when the action happened even if it was only in the background and hoped it wasn't bad news. He really didn't want to put it off till daytime too many things could go wrong.

Passing the lounge door he opened it and smiled at the sight and said fairly loudly. "Foods up you lazy lot and we'll do a dry run after." then shut it on the grumbling replies and made his way to the kitchen feeling that buzz start to go through him … the waiting was nearly over.


	57. Chapter 57

**Chapter 57**

With other officers out of sight and ready to make sure any traffic wouldn't hinder their operation Jude silently lead Patrick, Tony, Sandra and the two SWAT officers up the driveway to the front door. All carefully avoiding the parked car knowing it had a touch alarm on it and were alert for anything else that might be around.

The police 'eyes' in the house opposite had seen Rodney set it and the 'ears' in the house had heard some interesting snatches of chatter between the couple as they walked into the house just over two hours earlier. That snatched chatter helped Jude understand what had been bugging him and had left them all fuming but not distracted.

Reaching the front door Jude channelled all his thoughts to the next stage and slipped the key into the keyhole … turned it to unlock the door … then started to push the handle to open the door. **The moment of truth - **A quiet entrance as they'd planned or a nasty surprise that would lead to a noisy charge to frighten the life out of the couple to avoid anymore danger. Jude knew if he went down, Patrick and the others were far enough behind him to be able to take over **and** the 'eyes' and 'ears' opposite would get emergency aid to pick up the pieces. **Nothing** was going to stop the end game they all knew that.

Slowly the door opened and they were in like mice without a squeak or a bang. Even the door stayed quiet.

Huddled in their group everyone knew their places and jobs. The SWAT Officers would stay there with the door ajar while the rest went on. Jude and one SWAT Officer started the silent countdown by raising a clenched fist and then raised each finger in turn and in time till the fourth then the silent number would go on as they separated. Reaching the given number the SWAT Officer would slam the door shut and Jude would say his piece and the chase would be over.

While this was going on Patrick and Tony studied the way in front of them looking for the nasty surprise Paul's update had warned them about. He'd found drawing and bits and pieces but didn't know if the couple had any with them. They were little explosive units if linked together could set off a fire otherwise just be warning bangs and were triggered by breaking little coloured beams of lights.

Happy there weren't any nasty surprises they started their silent walk along the passageway then after checking the stairs they went on up. Patrick led knowing the pace though Jude behind him was doing the counting then Tony and last Sandra. She would handcuff and handle Maria to avoid accusations of wrong treatment by overzealous male officers, as well as being their back up should the others go down. None of them took anything for granted.

Night was giving way to dawn and there was a dimmed light on the landing and the bedroom door was open, so seeing and entry would not be a problem for anyone. That was a blessing and Patrick supposed the light was to stop the couple taking a header downstairs if they went in the wrong direction during a sleepy walk to the bathroom because they were in a strange house.

Silently they gathered on the landing at the top of the stairs having missed the known creaks and not found any new ones ... yet. Patrick and Tony silently put their guns into 'red light' mode while Jude went on ahead so he could see into the bedroom but didn't go in. Gun at the ready he stopped and listened - there was silence … well apart from a gentle snoring from one and steady breathing from the other. Watching the couple he knew he was still within his time and nodded and pointing to Patrick then signalled him to take the far side of the room as Maria was sleeping on that side of the bed.

Patrick nodded and silently took up his position letting the red light play on the carpet noting the floor was clear and the room tidy. Making sure Sandra could get to her position he slowly raised his gun and sighted the red light with his finger posed on the trigger breathed silently and waited. Sandra carefully slipped into her place in the shadows but a clear sight while Tony came to stand near Patrick and sighted his red light on Rodney. Both knew the couple would see the red lights and understand the shock from the guns would be felt through the bed clothes. Jude took his place at Rodney's side of the bed, his now gun securely holstered so if there was a fight it could not be grabbed and used against them, he nodded and took a breath.

The door downstairs slammed shut and Jude said clearly so it would cut through any sleepy panic. "**Armed Police.** **Lie still or be shot!**"

The couple in the bed jumped awake but lay still and sleepy eyes opened quickly.

Without missing a beat Jude carried on in the same tone but not so loud. "Detective Jude Cavendish and FB I Officers are arresting **you** Terecro Petito Rodriguez and **you** Yolanda Maria Carmelita Rodriguez for bigamy, kidnapping, attempted murder and numerous charges that will be explained once you've have been restrained. **Sit up** and put your wrists together in front of you. **Don't **make any other movements or you will be shot where the red light shines on you."

Lying still with shock rushing through his system Rodney reacted to his real name saying indignantly. "Name's Rodney Peters. **Wrong house get out!**" and started to sit up, hands in view.

Seeing Maria starting to move without bringing her arms from under the bedclothes Jude said sharply. "**Don't** risk it Maria. Patrick **will** shoot you and it **will **hurt."

Disbelief at the whole thing Maria carried on moving saying. "Jude you've made a terrible mistake…" then she froze and paled because there was a click and a buzzing noise coming from Patrick's gun and the red light didn't waver from her chest.

Jude repeated firmly knowing that buzz was the only warning she'd get. "**Maria **arms in the air and wrists together** now.** Make anymore fuss and he'll shoot you then cuff you. You are both considered dangerous and **will** be shot with **bullets **if you leave this room or building without us in control."

Bringing his arm up towards Jude Rodney shouted angrily "**How dare you **come into our bedroom spouting off rubbish and expect us to …." and stopped because Tony's shot caught him in shoulder making his body arch and fall back stunned but conscious.

As Maria screamed in shock Sandra moved expertly grabbing the woman's wrists and cuffing them and then with a quiet "Stop it" she stood away from the bed. Patrick meanwhile made sure he had a clear shot the whole time knowing Sandra was vulnerable till the cuffs were on.

Jude waited for the shock to pass through Rodney's body then quickly handcuffed him and disconnected the stun wire letting it go back into Tony's gun. He then stepped back from the bed and hearing SWAT team come up the stairs called out. "**All okay,** bring in the rest." Glancing at both Rodney and Maria he carried on firmly. "Your ankles will be shackled together to make sure you don't make a run for it, **do not resist**."

Then he and Sandra pulled back the blankets and he was relieved to see that both had reasonable night clothes on. The last thing he wanted to do was to sort out things for them to wear or allow them the change they were both danger points. He'd also been warned by the DA that the couple going down naked to the car was not an option no matter what he felt.

Feeling the cuffs round her wrists and mind spinning Maria blustered. "You can't … I've done nothing wrong … I don't know who this Terecro is … you know I met Rodney at Christmas he's my husband … **Jude** there's some mistake."

One SWAT officer came in with the shackles and handed a pair to Jude then went over to Sandra who would deal with Maria.

Feeling them clamped round her ankles took all Maria's thoughts away.

Rodney was getting his thoughts back and as the shackles were being put on he looked angry and shouted at Jude. "What the **Hell** do you think you're doing?"

Jude finished and moved back saying. "I caution you both that anything you say can be used against you in court and that you can have a lawyer present when you are at the police station where you will be formally charged etc for now though I suggest you just listen."

Maria started to bluster again believing it must be a nightmare it could not be true while Rodney spat out sharply. "Haven't done anything wrong! Certainly don't know any Terr whatever!"

Jude said quietly. "She does, she got his name right first time." then turned to Patrick adding. "Ring the boys in."

While Patrick made the call that would bring the other crew in Tony kept the red light on Rodney just in case he got violent and Sandra watched Maria knowing the quiet ones could be the most dangerous ... they made you relax.

Though ready for action if need be Jude looked at the couple and carried on in a casual tone. "As you are considered dangerous together **after** we leave this room you will not have any contact with each other that includes having the same lawyer **those** are the Judge's orders. So I hoped you enjoyed ..."

Needing to gain ground take come control Rodney butted in sharply. "Our lawyer will make mincemeat of you and have us out in an hour."

Jude came back immediately. "Terecro you've not got a lawyer or …

Rodney shouted. "**See** you've got the wrong bloke my name is **Rodney** **Peters **always has been. My lawyer is in Seattle."

Jude sighed and said evenly. "You don't have one and no lawyer will travel from Seattle because you've no money neither of you have so you'll take what you are given. Patrick here had an interesting talk with Carol Lawson or should that be Lynnette and her husband Juan Cortez spelt with a 'z'. I also talked to her and she's very cross that you used her maiden name Cortes with an 's' on a fraudulent a bank account so we'll add identity theft and fraud to the charges against you Maria.

Maria felt a cold shiver run through and was speechless, Rodney started to bluster again then stopped because Jude eyed him.

Glad of the effect Jude carried on softly with an edge. "The money trail is interesting as it links the four of you together. Lynnette and Juan's insurance fraud and the money Maria stole from the charity and Ben over the years is the basis of your life so you've got nothing. Everything will go into the melting pot and be divided up I expect the charity will get the most. It was a neat idea buying the house through bankruptcy sale then renting it out till you as Rodney bought it when you and Maria turned up as a couple. But the paper trail is still there once you know what to look for and we did.

Maria hissed. "Don't know what the **hell** you're talking about."

Jude ignored her and looked at Rodney and said softly. "When Patrick and the others searched the house they found a very interesting room. Ben **really** got under your skin didn't he?"

Rodney glowered and growled at him "Don't know who the **Hell** you're talking about."

While Maria shouted "Ben doesn't know what he's saying or doing. He's sick everyone knows he should be committed to Cedar Oaks!"

Jude smiled and not taking his eyes off the man said. "Good try Maria but that plan fallen flat Dr Estrada told us about your phone call once we explained the truth. But I'm getting away from my point aren't I and to make life easy I'll call you Rodney though you'll be charged in **all **your names but not Pedro … the one you gave Ben Christmas morning … and the one no one will call you again."

Rodney moved while hissing out angrily. "**I said** I never met this Ben fellow, haven't any..." then froze at Tony's short sharp. "**Don't!**" with a click and buzz sounded from his gun as a warning, though in truth Tony would not have minded another silent shot.

Jude said sharply. "**Strange that** your finger prints say you do. Right the way back to Franklin Street so do some photos they found in **that** room at **your **house in Seattle."

Rodney glowered at him and Jude carried on. "Lets get down to your trip here, Maria kept on telling everyone that this trip is about her settling the past so she could start her family and the doctors ordered her to come. They didn't and she could have done all this from Seattle date was the focal point not the branches of the Bank even she proved that. Oh don't get me wrong she had her own twisted agent regarding her family and their love and memories.

For you though it was about proving you are **The Man **and putting Ben's shadow or ghost to rest. But you failed on all counts. Ben's not dead and you've lost the life he gave you Christmas morning… yeah **he** **gave **you that life and told you how to live it. Maria's trapped because she was greedy and used Ben's unique formula and the amount ties you both to Christmas morning and Ocean Drive. Once you knew Ben was alive you tried to break him again, you should have known better and just crept away but you didn't. **So** you'll be charged with letting off fireworks in a public place without a licence as a bonus. Whoever supplied you will give you up and most probably lose their job."

"Don't know what the **hell** you're talking about!" Rodney grumbled.

But Jude ignored him and carried on. "That night and when Ricardo confronted you about being near the Mission you panicked and came out with a huge lie. But you didn't need to sell the car to cover your tracks all you needed to do was to get a mechanic to look and find nothing or a wire dangling to give some credence. But you did and you chose a car that Ricardo couldn't help but notice when you saw him and that bugged me for a long time.

He paused for a moment letting that bit sink in and looked at them in turn ending back at Rodney and went on. "It wasn't only Ben's ghost you wanted to get rid of was it you were going to take something else back with you. That car you drove down was not one of your best ones and you dirtied it so no one would pay attention to it… keep your love of cars hidden. Did you choose it in case Maria pranged as she drove back to Seattle and you couldn't bring yourself to drive hers down or let her drive you down? Being driven down wasn't on the cards you needed to be **the man** on this trip.

**But** you panicked told fibs and decided it had to go to the crusher … did you tell yourself a country one would be cleaner than a city one or sitting in a scrap yard. Unfortunately for you Angus worried about fault so checked it over found out the car was loved and some grey powder in the near the lights in the back.Thinking it was drugs he handed the car over to Patrick and Ricardo who'd come by on a totally different matter. Patrick being FBI checked the car over found it was firework powder and not firecracker powder so we started to look at you in earnest thinking Maria was in danger. We eventually ran the fingerprints through our system found they matched a partial that was found in the burnt out ruins of Franklin Street, Seattle and the firework stand found in the park."

Both Rodney and Maria gasped at that.

Still looking at Rodney Jude smiled and admitted. "Granted, we got the bit about Maria being in danger wrong but Ben helped put us right on that bit. Then you answered what had been bugging me when you came back from The Deep. That new car wasn't going to leave here but you two were … it was going to take the place of that special car … the one which would wash away the memory of Ben and make you **the man** again … if Ben been dead that is.

That's not going to happen, not even if you gave us the slip tonight or during the day. You see Patrick and Ricardo were there to find if Ben had a tracer on his car and he did. And yes we found it … them. You know leaving the reg. plates on help us a great deal and linked you to Franklin Street. It's been impounded and we found fingerprints to nail the pair of you to both cars. No alarm had been raised as Ben technically wasn't missing, as soon as we knew he'd been attacked on the cliff top we thought about it and then started to look. Even with the drugs and beatings Ben managed to…"

With full fury Rodney hissed "**Bastard!**"

Jude said forcefully. "**Never that.** So, you see you never won and never will, he beat you hands down." remembering Bob's comments he added. "Of course as Maria never married to Ben those vintage cars you bought with the so called divorce money will be his to deal with as he pleases."

Rodney's eyes went wide with horror and then he said with certainty. "He'll sell them and get the money back."

Jude sighed slightly satisfied and knew time was up, especially as the early morning quiet was broken by the noise of police sirens and vehicles pulling up outside... as though seconds counted.

Tony said with an edge. "Your taxies are outside **and** you'll have to excuse the audience as the CSI teams like to let people know they are around because they don't get too much publicity otherwise."

Maria looked horrified and said in a tone that dripped innocence. "I can't … not like this. I didn't **do** anything..."

Jude looked at her and interrupted tersely "You're covered enough." Seeing that 'horrified' look turn to innocence or 'she was the victim' look he went on with an edge. "You never lost your memory and if I find out that **you** pushed Ben into sex at anytime I **will** charge you with rape. There's child abuse for the drug you gave Benjy along with walking out on him, you'll need solitary for your own safety but I'd asked for that anyway. Ben said something about fidelity when you had him on his knees in Ocean Drive … **yes** he told us about that. Well perhaps you should think about Tereco's I've been told he always hankered after his brother's fiancée and that there were several suggestions other than marriage to her but he said no to them."

Maria just looked at him as Rodney hissed. "Not true and you know it."

Jude looked at Rodney not sure who he was talking too and carried on. "It looks like you were going to show Maria what you accomplished by taking her to see the wedding. Show her the children you already had, show her what you expected of her, the new family you want. That's not going to happen for either of you. They are not your children you lost that right when you died and they will change their surname today their choice not yours. If you'd told the truth you could have had your own family there or Sunset Beach but not the money perhaps. As for the car and body in the ravine well, they will retrieve them and extra charges will be added … murder will be life added onto the kidnapping and possibly conspiracy for Maria."

Rodney glared at him and then said to Maria. "Don't say anything to anyone; they have to prove it all."

Jude said quickly and forcefully. "Evidence will damn you both, plead guilty to the Judge today and you might get a way with life without parole, drag it through the courts and you could get worse certainly not less." Glancing at the SWAT Officer knowing the other one was nearby he ordered. "Go down first make sure the way is secure. Patrick and Sandra in the first group Tony and I in the second group."

He then turned back to the couple and continued. "At the stairs one step at a time sideways and hold on to the banister there is no rush. The chains round your ankles are longer than the ones Ben had so it can be done easily. Don't even think of trying to fall to get free or just because you can or assume it's an easy way out **it** won't work. Now move it."

The couple glared realising they had to move and slowly got up and slowly awkwardly made their way out of the bedroom as ordered. Aware of **that** ploy everyone made slow progress down the stairs and along the passageway towards the open front door.

As they met the other officers and gear coming in Sandra said knowing their importance. "In the main bedroom there is wig on the dressing table and shoes on the floor in the archway of the table both are easy to see so bag them and get them processed and identified first."

Realising the significance of the order Maria stopped and glared at her till Sandra said quietly. "Move on your audience waits"

That was true; there was a hive of activity around the car as Paul helped officers remove the device on it and then there were other officers with tape in their hands and keeping the neighbours at a respectable distance. There were also two cameramen one taking stills the other a video and Vanessa was jotting things down and smiled when Jude appeared. That smile grew bigger as she saw the cameramen move around till they had the two baddies with Jude in a shot. Once the baddies were in their cars she knew they would race to get the pictures to the station and the paper because the front page was waiting for them, photo and headlines would be enough for now the afternoon one would have the lot and the video was for the tv stations.

Maria and Rodney couldn't help but feel the humiliation and curiosity of the growing crowd. Their so called taxis were parked in front of the other police vans so the couple had a walk with SWAT Officers leading each and the rest of the team guarding guns in sight and at the ready. That meant everyone knew these two were thought to be dangerous done something awful so called out questions at anyone who looked official and usually got the 'No Comment' answer until Jude called out. "Read the papers or watch the local news but it will be attempted murder and bigamy for starters." which sent a buzz round everyone and more cameras and mobile phones appeared so word was getting around.

With the couple and guards safely in the caged police cars Jude got in the escort one knowing the teams at the house would go over it inch by inch and quietly hoped the couple who lived there hadn't stashed anything they shouldn't have. As they hadn't been able to find out where they'd gone till one of the other officers asked a neighbour they'd likely to see it on the news first.

As the cars moved off Jude felt 'the rush' leave him … the danger was over now it would be the booking in process and then the drive to the courthouse because they had separate cells. Then it would be back to the paperwork and he hoped that after several hours in solitary waiting for their lawyers and seeing they were not the jet-setting ones they would see sense. Plead guilty and accept the Judge's rules but from what he'd seen so far he seriously doubted it.


	58. Chapter 58

**Chapter 58**

Waking up from his deep sleep Ben's subconscious survival instincts kicked in keeping him still, his breathing steady and eyes closed till he knew it was safe to show he was awake. Find out where he was and whether it was safe to stay or he had to flee or guard his positions. He also had whispers in his mind of strange dreams and voices that had been outside them, but as his senses started gathering information those whispers disappeared and were replaced by reasoning.

He was dressed in his own clothes … but not wearing his waterproof coat or his shoes …so they must be elsewhere … safe or taken or lost … he wasn't sure yet. A flutter of panic went through him till he recognised the familiar weight against his chest and knew it was his bag. It was safe and close enough to be protected … so his things could be in there, which meant he could go on and find out more.

His coat wasn't covering him but something was and there was something dry and comfortable underneath him. As it wasn't hard, cold or damp he wasn't out in the open or under the hedgerow … so it could be blanket on top and a mattress with a pillow under his head it was softer and slightly raised there. He was probably undercover and people could be around … and if they cared for him they were friendly … a flutter of warning of 'maybe not' came and put him on his guard made him feel edgy… shivery.

When a light breeze touched his face he recognised the scent of morning and knew he was not shut up in a building … so he could get out if need be and the small shiver stopped. He fleetingly remembered a Porch at a Mission … but this didn't feel right … the thing beneath him was softer and the morning scent was different. Other fleeting impressions whispered in his mind making him wonder if he was dreaming and realised these were memories and this was real information not dreams. And reasoned he'd moved on from the Mission but couldn't grasp where or when everything was so fleeting and isolated, and knew he had to open his eyes to find out where he was and if it was safe to stay or he had to move on again.

The shock of realising he could question and there were things to remember made everything disappear but as he didn't tumble into darkness as well he stayed still and gradually understood if he found the right question he might be able to remember things and find out all the answers. … So where was he? … But all he got was lots of whispering possibilities that slipped by very quickly making he understand he really had to open his eyes to get things sorted. And again there was that warning flicker … that he needed to be on his guard even if people cared for him.

Keeping still and breathing steady he cautiously opened his eyes ready for the answers to his question as well as being on his guard and ready to flee in spite of the blanket. He blinked a few times as his eyes got used to the daylight and he knew it was past dawn, but still early morning by the sound of the birdsong. Also it was dry and sunny and he was …. A wave of apprehension swept everything away as he saw there was a man sitting in a chair watching him.

Bob's sixth sense had picked up Ben starting to wake and not wanting to startle him into awareness he kept still, watched and waited. When Ben's eyes opened he smiled knowing it would be taken as a sign of friendship, seeing the flicker of apprehension he kept the smile open and relaxed. As soon as the flicker settled and he knew Ben was focused on him he signed the greeting 'Hi it's good to see you' in the way they had back on the farm, hoping it would trigger memories or thoughts and waited for a response.

Ben studied the man rather than thinking of a way to protect himself or flee with his bag because he sensed the smile was genuine and not a gloating one of a predator. Then as the man's hand moved in a definite way he realised the stranger was signing a message and he could understand it. As he understood it some recognition started to sweep through his mind and he knew he was safe with this man around.

Feeling the familiar barrier of silence around him and knowing it wasn't easy to sign back lying down Ben slowly sat up untangling his bag and blanket. As he returned the greeting wondered why he wasn't in the stable block and realised he wasn't on the farm … he'd moved on from there and time had passed. Instantly fleeting impressions threatened to flood his mind but his stomach rumbling cleared them … he was hungry … possibly missed a meal and knew he needed the bathroom. That brought a clear memory and he knew he was in a chalet and were the bathrooms were and which one he wanted. Knowing he needed to tell Bob he started to sign hoping he would understand.

After Ben had returned the greeting Bob let his smile change to an expression of a patient listener knowing Ben needed to work things out and take the lead. He might be able sense things and act on them but he wasn't a mind reader no matter what Helen said and knew second guessing the man could be dangerous for both of them. He'd hoped for some speech or a smile of recognition but the signing was good and seemed more relaxed than a moment ago. He then concentrated as Ben pointed to himself and then walked his fingers across his other palm in the direction of the garden as they walked off his palm he made a fist and dropped it back onto the palm hard but silent. Bob smothered his smile understanding that message from the old days and nodded then pointing in the direction where Meg lay sleeping and signed the question. 'Should he wake her so she could come with them?'

Ben looked round and saw a hump in the bed with some long dark hair showing on the pillow and fleeting memories flashed through his mind with the others confusing him and knew three would be too many. So shaking his head he signed 'let her sleep for now' then realising there was something amongst the jumble in his mind he needed clearing up he brought his hands together in a silent clap remembering that was how they indicated they had something new to discuss or needed attention.

When he saw Bob's nod Ben pointed back to the lump in the bed and then to himself then he brought his hands together finger tips touching so they made a pointed roof shape then he pointed to his wedding finger on his left hand and drew a band round it, then clasping his right hand round his left one and brought them to his chest on his left hand side to show love and protection. To say he'd finished he rested his hands palm down on his knees and looked at Bob and waited for the answer.

Anxiety and possibilities buzzing through his mind he waited for Bob's reaction. He didn't have a sign for the lady in the bed but something deep down told him it was Meg ... his soulmate and knew a shrug of Bob's shoulders would mean he would have to start again. A shake of the head and the hands cutting away from each other would mean 'No you are not married to her' and that would mean the whispers he could sense were hopes … fancies … dreams of the night and not memories. A nod with hands clasped together would mean 'Yes you are' and those fleeting whispers were his past … their past …remembered … and that could give him a future ... their future.

Reading the message Bob realised they needed to take this outside and smiling he nodded and clasped his hands together as he still had Ben's attention he immediately pointed to both of them and the out into the garden. Without waiting for a reply he quietly folded up his blanket and picked up his crutches knowing the transition from sitting to standing could be difficult. And as it would all his concentration and a moment to get sorted he expected Ben to be out the door and down the path to the shed by the time he got upright and ready to walk. But as he took his first step he was surprised to find Ben hadn't moved.

Standing still and checking him over Bob guessed Ben was lost in his mind … zoned out … possibly confused by all the chatter we took for granted and he couldn't blame him he'd just got it back in one tangled fat dollop. Wanting the man's attention but not waking Meg and hoping he wouldn't drop his crutches by doing this he carefully brought his hands together in a silent clap hoping it would get Ben's attention. If not he'd have to touch him on the arm and that could cause an adverse reaction depending on where he'd zoned out too.

Doing the clap successfully and getting Ben's attention Bob pointed outside and then drew a circle in the air, then some seats and pointed to Ben and then himself and up to his mouth which he then opened and closed to indicate talking. Well he hoped it looked like talking and not a fish out of water and knew he'd be doing all the talking by the looks of thing. And that would be a darn sight easier than this but he also knew from the past Ben's form of signing could bring a lot of opportunities for misunderstanding and laughs. If that happened it could be a step towards talking and waited for a reaction of some kind.

Having got the answer he wanted and read the tag on message Ben felt the rush of happiness … he was married to Meg … the lady in the bed and whispers were memories and was immediately surround by rush of snippets about her and Bob but they were jumbled and confused him so he lost everything else. Getting the impression of someone moving Ben saw Bob's hands come together in a silent clap and tried to get his sluggish mind to read the message that would come after it. As he read it the confusing jumble completely disappeared and he knew he needed to find his shoes to go outside. Going to and opening his bag to get his shoes he found his food box and as his stomach rumbled it remembered it had happened before and he was hungry … he needed food which was in this box. Getting the box out he looked across at Bob and drew his finger across the box and pointed to him.

The message was clear … half each now, but Bob didn't want to stop and eat nor did he think Ben did from his earlier message. As he didn't want to wake Meg by talking to Ben he only had one choice and hoped Ben wouldn't take the message as a snub. So he nodded that he would share and pointed outside to say where they would eat.

Ben understood it and remembered he needed shoes for that so tucked the box back and spotted the book beside his shoes suddenly knew it had photos and they could help him. He brought it out so they could go through it now and might be able talk if they did and explain all this coming and going in his mind.

Bob silently sighed, hid his frustration and shook his head then pointed down to his own shoes as a huge hint and if that didn't work he would walk out first and hope Ben following.

Seeing Bob's actions reminded Ben needed his shoes to go the garden and the bathroom behind the shed so put he the album back got out and put on his shoes. He then secured his bag and got up put it over his shoulder and walked out knowing Bob would follow … he really needed to go.

oxoxo

As Bob slowly followed he couldn't help smiling guessing anything could happen because Ben seemed to be side tracked by sight and possibly flickering memories which might no be old ones could ones a minute ago. More like a child's reaction than an adults and had noticed a difference in his manner and a sparkle in his eyes which hadn't been there before. It reminded him of Betsy when they'd met up at the station and she'd finally climbed out of her black hole the death of her parents had left her in. It was true she'd been quiet when they realised their stranger had left them when they got back, and on and off through the recent months including when they'd lost the trailer. But that hadn't lasted long he couldn't see Ben being quite so chatty and bubbly as Betsy had been and would be thankful for that. But he did hope this was the final step forward for the silent shut down stranger. The silent times wouldn't be so long or painful.

Seeing Ben was really on his way to the outside bathroom Bob contemplated tapping on the glass doors to the other room just in case Tim or Helen had missed their movements over the speaker. They hadn't been all that noisy and though he was looking forward to a bit of cheese and a bit Jenny's cake his sister had put in Ben's box … it would be just a tiny bit. And he'd given his orders for toasties and those two sleepy heads inside would know he might need some fast moving back up … after all he wasn't quite up to speed at the moment so they really wouldn't mind the early wake up call would they.

After gently tapping on the glass door he started walking up the path in the same direction as Ben had gone and checked his watch and knew Ben's timing was off … it was half six not the crack of dawn. **Not** that he was complaining they all needed sleep, he'd even catnapped well and having walked off the stiffness his knee felt good … **so** the brace was working well … and if it carried on for the rest of the morning he'd be able to cancel that appointment…

oxoxo

Knowing exactly where he was going and why Ben glanced around the garden as he walked along the path and found some flowers just stayed as flowers but he knew their names. Others brought snippets and whispers of words and laughter though his mind so he knew how and who helped him change it from an unkempt mess to what it was now. But they were jumbled just came with flowers or part of garden he looked there was no order when or where. Also there was something else with them … feelings of happiness and sadness and he felt frustrated at the confusion and suddenly realised that was a now feeling not …

He'd come to the shed and everything but the reason he'd come therefore disappeared so he got on and did the business. After washing his hands and face as he usually did in the mornings he walked back into the garden and seeing the pond remembered Bob's message about sitting and talking. As Bob was coming along the path he turned towards him to join him wanting to get on with it.

As they met Bob said quietly. "You sit by the pond I'll be with you in a moment." He was going to use the outside bathroom as well that way he would lose contact with Ben now he was out and about.

Ben nodded and glanced toward the pond and decided to choose the nearest seat then walked over to it and sat down. Looking across the pond he tried to settle himself but found it difficult – everything seemed to trigger lots snippets of memories with hints of emotions and now he was fretting … hoping Bob would help him cope … get control before they swamped him or confused him even more. And he still didn't know where he was or what happened that seemed to flicker just out of reach.

A loud rumbling stomach reminded him he was hungry and there was food in his bag. Getting the food box out he saw the album and knew he needed it now to help him stop this confusion. Another loud rumble made his mind up … food now album later. He found it frightening that one set of memories could be washed away by other and some came to quickly for him to grasp or too many for him to chose so he got a blank instead. There was also fear in the chatter that he could lose it all … just find darkness and silence … become a stranger to himself and his friends whoever they were or Bob or his soulmate.

As he opened the box and saw the cake and cheese everything cleared from his mind expect he was going to give Bob half … doing though awkward without a knife felt right and he put it on the lid. Rather than dwell on how the food got into the box he turned his head and watched Bob walking towards him watching him he tried to remember why Bob was using crutches … again and knew there had been a time when he'd been without them and an impression flashed through his mind.

Knowing he was unable to talk Ben pointed to the crutches that Bob had just leant against the seat and then using both hands drew in the air the outline of two vehicles one smaller than the other then clapped his hands together, hoping it showed they came together violently. Then he pointed to Bob and then with his right hand bringing waist to height to indicate a small person clasped it with his left hand so to protect it and brought it to his chest to show protection. Putting his hands down on his lap to indicate he had finished he waited for an answer.

Bob smiled half wondering if Ben was going to be like Betsy after all; sort of silent chatty and to excited to keep still physically or mentally so signing thoughts would be all over the place and answered making sure he'd read the story right. "Yes the old trailer van got squashed by a lorry and I twisted my knee when I thought Betsy might get hurt. We've got a new trailer now and Betsy's fine didn't get hurt and was never in danger. She's going on a school trip with Jenny's daughter today had a sleep over last night so you'll see her early tea time I should think. If you let Tim and Helen stay here then the other kids will be her class or year mates." He deliberate left it like that so Ben would either ask or hunt in his mind for the rest of the information.

When Bob started answering Ben smiled and felt chuffed he'd got the right memory and as the answer went on he remembered bits of conversations between two family groups. As his stomach gave him another loud hint it was being left out of the picture, those thoughts went and he pushed Bob's portion over to him and followed it with the photo album. He wanted to get on, get Bob to go through it with him rather than the other way round as he wasn't too sure what questions he should be asking. The flashes and whispers told him he'd done it this way before and it helped him get things together and talk.

From the sounds of things Bob reckoned Ben could do with the whole lot and some but refusing could offend so he accepted it. When the album came over a few seconds later he realised Ben had already grasped what he needed to help him, and which way round to do after all signing with gaps in your memory could be **very** interesting. Even this way round there would be lots of pitfalls and he hoped Ben would maintain this sparkle of excitement because once they'd been through the album he'd no doubt they would touch on his twin's death and what happened last night and if that was half of what went on things were not going to be pretty.

Not wanting to dwell on those thoughts or to get sticky fingers on the pages Bob said gently but firmly. "Okay, we'll eat first then I'll go through the photos with you. Seeing them should help steady the strangeness of having the memories back and help you get used to selecting the right ones. You can sign any questions about them and other things but don't get impatient if we don't get it right first time. Talking will come so don't push it and it's a nice sunny morning so there is no rush."

Ben gave slow nod with a shrug of the shoulders which Bob recognised as a huff … he'd seen it back at the farm when Ben was frustrated at something and smiled.

Seeing the smile Ben knew he wasn't going to get his way of the album while they ate and as his stomach rumbled and he was feeling hungry he turned his attention to his food. While eating, he realised it didn't really matter when he started going though the album … it was a nice morning and he was with someone he could trust and felt that itch to get on with it ease.

oxoxo

Meg woke to sunlight, the smell of bacon and coffee and sat up quickly to check that Ben was in the room and saw that both the chair and bed were empty. Panicking thoughts rushed through her mind then stopped as she reasoned Helen would have woken her if it wasn't. Turning her head she saw the time and heard Tim's gentle. "Yeah he slept in a bit and we left you a bit longer, you needed it. Bob's with him and it looks as though they are talking though he started off silent."

Looking towards the doorway into hallway where the voice came from Meg smiled then grabbing her robe and getting out of bed said hopefully. "Smells good."

Still leaning against the doorframe Tim gave a gentle laugh at her tone then explained. "Bob ordered bacon toasties last night; they were Ben's favourites on the farm so you can take them out with a drink in awhile. He used to beat us even then so they were an extra for him and helped him get back his strength. At the moment though they need time together and Bob will give us the signal when to go out and if it's one or all of us."

Seeing Meg's slightly defiant look he quickly added gently. "They could be talking about the basement and other things he might not want you to know about just yet or at all. You, we can't just rush out there and hug him to make it better, we've got to give him time and we've got that now."

Still feeling that pang of wanting to know everything so she could comfort Ben, Meg suddenly realised she didn't really want him to know everything about her thoughts or actions while he was gone. She'd done nothing wrong or underhand but she'd cursed him a couple of times … more than a couple of times … and she'd been sort of reassured by the emails … but the emails had been false... Stamping on those churning thoughts she scooped up her clothes and nodded her acceptance to Tim and went to the bathroom wondering why the **hell** something couldn't be easy for once… come home with memories …no gap … no betrayal... no guilt …

Coming out the bathroom dressed and refreshed and walking to the lounge area Meg was just as jumbled as she went in … there where so many mixed feelings to be sorted out together or separately it was not going to be easy… and a shiver ran right through her as she realised there was a possibility they might not be together in the end. … Because of it all he didn't want them … or her … wanted to be on the road by himself instead **and** she had to face that possibility. Like **hell **she would. … She'd fight for him this time … tooth and nail … and realised as she passed Helen she was taking a phone call and then found a bacon toastie had been gently put in her hand and she looked at Tim who'd put it there as she entered the lounge area.

Tim couldn't help smiling as he saw Meg come back to their planet and realise where she was and said quietly. "You eat this one to make sure you get at least one." and as if to make the point he bit into the other one he had and then sat on the stool by the counter.

Helen finished her call and coming over and said to him "**Hey**, leave some for other people!" then glancing over at Meg, who she was glad to see looked rested and carried on. "I've warmed some soup for Ben and tea for everyone else I wasn't too sure he'd drink tea after what he'd remember last night." then softened her words adding "Though I think he'll trust the food you give Meg."

Meg felt a wave of shock run through her, she hadn't thought of that reaction to his memories, while Helen continued gently. "I know you are his wife and have responsibility over him but you should not push that fact in front of him, just be his friend for now."

Seeing Meg hadn't quite grasped her meaning she explained. "Maria betrayed that trust and his love by marrying him. He might not trust himself … his judgement at the moment. If he turns away from you … you need to gently remind him that he's trusted his love for you in the past and he needs to do that again but don't force it ... accept the space needed and work around it."

Meg was suddenly back to how she felt after Ben had rescued her from Derek and all that entailed and how over the next few days back at home he'd gently encouraged her to trust herself and not dwell on what had happened. Helped her to become stronger and that way she'd managed to get over Derek making love to her and enabled her to make love to Ben knowing it was right and….

"It's getting cold Meg." Brought her out of her flashback and she smiled at Tim who smiled and nodded back knowing he grounded her.

As Helen was also looking at her with understanding she took a bite of the toastie and found it enjoyable. Eating it she knew she could help Ben if need be, but she also knew he could be stubborn and hide behind that wall of his. And hoped she would recognise the signs and be able to nudge it down and heard Tim ask Helen. "News?"

Helen nodded and between bites of her own breakfast and checking the food on the cooker explained from the start for Meg's benefit. "I rang the officers at the gate to tell them Ben was up and around in case he decided to walk out on us. Told them they should be very wary of confronting him, more like guide or watch from a distance till we've worked out a strategy. They are going to ring Jude and will ring back to say when he will come over. As far as they know everything went well Maria and Rodney are at the courthouse jail to keep them separate and it's been on the news etc. So Meg if he asks you can tell him they been arrested but don't offer it first let him take the lead."

Meg nodded and then grabbed a drink and went to sit by the door to the garden so she could watch the two men by the pond and realised they were both talking easily together.

Tim joined her saying. "It's all good Meg, how did you sleep?"

Meg smiled and felt a little guilty as she admitted. "Like a log once I go off. Bob made sure I didn't watch the change over between him and Helen."

Tim laughed knowing he'd fill her in later and said "And now you feel guilty about it." She nodded as he carried on. "Don't be you needed it and I expect you'll be exhausted tonight as well."

Meg smiled and then they both stopped and watched the scene as Ben had suddenly got up and was flinging his bag over his shoulder and starting to storm away from Bob. Meg recognised the action as deep anger even though she'd only seen a couple of times before.

Their sudden silence got Helen's attention and seeing the gap widen between the men she said quickly. "That looks bad. Meg grab the tray with the soup and tea for you take it to him but be careful how you approach him be ready for rejection." and finished wrapping the toasties she'd put by for the men.

Meg immediately got up and as she picked the tray up Helen put the finished toasties on it. Walking out into the garden Meg found any hope she'd had was being swallowed up by fear for her soulmate … for them all as he was still walking away even though Bob had called after him.

oxoxo

Watching Meg Tim said gently to his wife who'd come over to watch the scene. "You're hoping that food will keep him here."

Helen smiled knowingly but said with a hint of anxiety "He's missed a meal and a half if he's had his snack more if he gave some to Bob." she was having a hard time stopping herself from running out and tackling him to stop him if he made for the gate. She knew she couldn't … they couldn't … and she really didn't want this ending badly for so many reasons.

Sensing her fears as well as his own Tim got up, went over to her and put his arm around her and watched with her. He knew if they stopped him forcibly now Ben would feel a prisoner and they were guards not friends or people who cared. All they could do was to hope he would slow down … calm down and reason things through … chose space rather than the gate. And sending Meg out was a gamble … he could take it as just a coincidence and he'd see the food and want it so stop. Thinking it was his own choice or he could see it as a bribe a con and if he did … he wouldn't trust her anymore and where would they be then. But they had to try it Bob's call didn't seem to work.


	59. Chapter 59

To those who have got this far thank you and hope you enjoy the rest of journey. Reviews are welcome.

**Chapter 59**

Bob stood watching his friend storming away from him and called out hoping it would have some effect but seriously doubted it. "Ben we can't lose you a second time. At least stay for breakfast!"

He'd been tempted to yell 'for Betsy's sake' but she wasn't going to be there till tonight and it wouldn't be fair on her either. Ben was a free man with nearly all his memories and to stop him would make a prisoner again and add to their problems and suddenly realised who could stop him and called out. "Stay for Benjy's sake he's coming and needs to see you … just as much as **you** need to see him."

He stood holding his breath knowing in some ways it was a cruel trick but an honest one, because Ben had been concerned and edgy about Benjy all the way through this and to go now was wrong … so he was doing it for both … all their sakes … wasn't he. Truth was he didn't want to lose him … he knew the whole man … well nearly and admired him, understood only that Ben would have to sort this bit out himself **but** he wanted his friend to do it here. In the safety of the garden, the way he was at the moment the outside world was a danger to him … Helen and Tim had found that out with Betsy it had only taken an unguarded second or two … and he wasn't going to have that happen to Ben. He also doubted Ben would be able to walk through gate back into this peaceful healing garden he'd built for himself because the gate would become a barrier and in his mind it would be another thing he'd walked away.

That sparkle and excitement he'd seen earlier had stayed and got bigger as they went through the album and they were talking easily by the end of it. It of course then lead to wider subjects and controlling some of the nightmare memories and the sparkle died as history and reality crashed in them and emotions and responsibilities raised their ugly heads till guilt added to it and it all swamped his friend leading to the stormy exit …with the good memories were forgotten or buried by the others.

Bob breathed and relaxed a bit seeing Ben come to a stop then almost immediately turn away from the path to the gate and walk towards the other seat with the blanket nearby and then sit down. Knowing he couldn't anything more Bob started to walk back to the chalet to explain and get his sister's advice. Seeing Meg carrying a tray and veering towards the far side of the pond he quickened his pace and angle so he'd meet her. As they passed he said softly. "Give him a moment, put the tray on the seat and sit on the blanket if it's dry. If its wet sit on the seat but not too close don't push him he's remembered nearly all of it and is feeling guilty about what he's done."

Though Meg calmly nodded accepting his advice, his words sent a shiver down her spine. She'd been feeling slightly hurt … Ben had stopped because of Benjy not because of her. … Walking slowly towards her soulmate hunched figure she was worried about Ben's guilt … was it guilt because he married her … had Bob mentioned it and that was why he'd walked … but he had the album with him so it might not be about her. Was it because of what he'd done Christmas morning then … but he'd done that to survive … so why feel guilty … did he feel he should have died … that was what he expected to do … so did he feel guilty because he was alive.

With a rush of certainty she pushed away those thoughts, she had the advantage over the others she **knew **Ben. And whatever it was that was bugging him **she** wouldn't let him leave here and she would stay with him as a friend till he accepted her as his wife however long it took. She would fight for him in her own way … …

oxoxo

Bob's call stopped Ben in his tracks; through his churning thoughts and **need** to get away the words hit a nerve … one that said he **needed** to see Benjy even if he didn't know why or what it was … that bit seemed to be on the edge and out of reach. Without fully realising it he glanced towards the pond and it drew him as a place of healing, peace and a place he **needed** to be. Seeing the seat he walked over to it, sat down and automatically let his bag slip down to rest by his leg, feeling the weight of his guilt and churning thoughts he hunched over putting his head in hands letting his elbows rest on his thighs and closed his eyes desperately hoping the silent darkness of an empty mind and no memories would come back.

It didn't happen and nor did the churning cease. But after a moment that other **need** got him and he gradually lifted his head up and looked at the pond though he wasn't really conscious of it … there was too much 'noise' in his mind and churning feelings … though after a while some semblance of what he'd felt like earlier started to come through, but not necessarily any answers.

The sparkling feeling of difference he'd felt that morning grew into pure pleasure as he'd gathered memories from the album and had found he could speak … chatted to Bob and remembered that strange friendship they had. It had been exciting and finding he could start to control his memories … it brought him back together again … sort of glued up the cracks …made him feel whole. But then as he remembered his past and what he'd done the excitement went and guilt and mistrust bubbled up till he knew he shouldn't be here … he should be out on the open road travelling all the time … it was the only place where he could be and not hurt anyone … ever again ...

So he'd stormed away … needing to get out …before there were too many people to explain it all to. Hating himself for who he was … is … ever thought he could be … he couldn't think how she could ever think of loving him… or stand by him ... especially now after all he'd done.

Before the Hell he'd been through that Christmas morning … he'd been the one walking out … not her … he was the one leaving his soulmate … he knew how precious she was and yet he was leaving her … with a phone call and in danger … and leaving Benjy … a child … and possibly their friends all in danger.

How could she … they … anybody ever think of trusting him ever again. …

How could he dare trust himself … he'd been fooled by Maria in the first place ... let his guard down and given her love … thought it was returned ... she'd loved him.

He who'd set so much by his knowledge of people had been fooled … loved a betrayer.

He could not stay … expect his soulmate to live with someone so foolish …

Not only that his mind had shut down … shut her out all those months ... shut them out all those months ...

He loved her but didn't deserve her …was not worthy … she wouldn't want him … he was untrustworthy … tainted …dirty … couldn't trust his own thoughts not to shut down again.

He'd deserted a child … his own nephew. How could he need to see him? … And yet he did.

And how could he ever bring up a child of his own … children and be there for them … for her … it was better she find someone more trustworthy than him… do it now not later ... he stay on the road and have no ties … no one to hurt … to betray…

He had after all given the betrayers a life of lies ... lies so they could flee and live their lives of happiness … while his lies meant he friends and soulmate would forever think he'd walked out on them … they wouldn't get closure ever … because there would be no trail… no way to have found his body … to find out the truth … and he'd shut them out when survived … it had all been his choice ... his actions.

He was untrustworthy … tainted… and should leave now before he hurt her … them again … tell her she was free to find someone better than he was … someone who could be there for her … always … would not betray her as he had ….not forget her as he had … or could … would do it again … his mind was churning and would churn possibly forever…

oxoxo

Walking quietly up to Ben, Meg was sure he wasn't seeing the pond he was looking at or across and could imagine his thoughts … well sort of … perhaps not. So how could she show him love without making it look like pity. … By telling him the truth of how she'd felt and how he'd helped her when she'd been betrayed. Was that the thing to do? … Or was that too much about her not about him. … Whatever it was she couldn't fail … not this time. … She couldn't watch him walk away not now … not now she'd learnt so much about him ... and how much she truly loved him ... and how much he loved her.

Watching him she put the tray on the seat beside him, far enough away so should he hit out nothing would get knocked but near enough that it was there would register with him. Yeah she knew what Helen was trying to do especially as the toasties were peaking out of their wrappers saying 'come eat me' and Ben **had** to be hungry … and then she would do the rest.

She then knelt down on the rug grateful it was dry and said gently but firmly hoping he would be willing to hear her. "Ben food's on the tray beside you. You should have the bacon toasties while they are hot and there's soup or tea if you want a drink." She'd wondered about the tea but mentioned it feeling it would be wrong to just mention the one and waited ready to repeat her words if need be, realising that Ben might have fallen into silent stranger mode or just forgotten what had happened.

Meg's voice cut through Ben's churning guilt ridden mind and soul ... and inside he cried out in pain … he wanted her but didn't deserve her … could not keep hurting her like this. Hearing her and knowing she was there was too much for him, but so was the strong pull that she was so close to him, and he slowly turned his head and looked at her. He saw her gentleness and love and was lost for words or thoughts for a second or two … but then sunk back into the depression of pain and guilt adding to the knowledge he couldn't be trusted to protect her as he should do … and turned his head away to look at the pond again.

Seeing the darkness in Ben's eyes Meg remembered it from the beginning of their relationship and knew this was much much deeper than then. She knew a bit of how he felt … she had been deceived and betrayed granted not for as long as he had, but it had hurt deeply each time it happened. And he'd been the one who'd helped her mend the first time by just being there as a new employer in a strange town. Then the second time he'd known all about it being forced to keep silent and watch as it happened and then knowing he looked like her betrayer he'd stayed and healed her. So perhaps just by being here she could help mend a little corner of that hurt and perhaps that little corner will grow and he would stay and finish healing with them.

Although she desperately wanted to put her hand on his knee or his hand and let her touch say so much more than she ever could, she realised it would be the wrong thing to do, so kept still and said gently with true conviction and love. "Ben. None of this of this is your fault she's the one who betrayed your love and her family and friends. I'm sorry it took your leaving to make me understand how deeply our love for each other is and I'm sorry you've been hurt so deeply that you feel you should leave.

When I felt tainted and betrayed by your brother's actions you took care of me and reassured me it had not changed me in your eyes or anyone else's. I love you and always will and I am glad I'm your wife, soulmate and friend and ask you to trust that love and stay."

The love in her words cut into his soul but Ben knew the real truth and unable to look at her said softly. "I was leaving you that morning anyway."

Meg shivered hearing his pain and guilt and reminded him gently but firmly. "So you could mourn your brother's death without taking on our pain because of what had happened. You told me that you loved me and if I still loved you I was to find our new home. I did and I hope you will love it. Not only that you trusted me with your fortune. You were coming home to me and your friends." pausing for a moment she then asked in a softer tone. "If you had left on your own free will how long do you think you would have been gone?"

Ben looked at her as her words cut through his thoughts and remembering clearer than before said softly. "Not long, days certainly not weeks but I had to know things were safe and I knew you could be trusted."

Relief washed through her as she looked at him and she put her hand on his knee and said gently but firmly. "So trust me now and let our friends help you mourn your brother if need be. You feel tainted and unsure of yourself, but she was the one who betrayed you, betrayed your love. You are still that loving trusting person you were and you always will be."

"But I can't keep hurting you like this."

Instinctively Meg knew he'd jumped thoughts and asked gently. "Do you still love me as you've always done?"

Feeling shivers running through his heart and soul - her gentle words pulling him in one direction while his guilt and fears were pulling in the other – Ben could only nod yes.

Meg could still see the darkness in him and sweeping her hand round the garden as she stated quietly "You remember all this as well as our love and your deep feelings for me" and looked at him as she finished "**and **you were leaving?"

Ben nodded and could hardly get his words out to explain. "You can't trust me … you don't deserve to be hurt each time … I forget you."

She couldn't believe it and her disbelief and anger came out as she exclaimed. "**You idiot!** It would hurt us both a thousand times more than before if you left now." Seeing his distress and shiver ran through him at her sharp retort she stopped and sighed, which released the rest of her anger and frustration but it still couldn't stop her firm but gentle. "I will not allow it and you wouldn't get far anyway."

Remembering Helen's warning and seeing the shutters come down in his expression Meg put her hand gently on his hoping her touch would reassure him and went on quickly with half a smile and lighter tone to explain her last words. "Well not alone ... Helen and Tim have a nice new trailer which I would commandeer and follow you, be near you. I expect they would come with me actually. Bob couldn't he's got a hospital appointment and Betsy could stay with Jenny. **So** it would be the three of us following you … stopping to talk when you stopped. Then there's the officers on the gate watching to keep us safe, they'd follow because Jude would want to make sure you were okay. Then once word got out you were on the road again all your friends would find cars and follow as well or pay visits to your roadside home… food and chat. No one wants to lose you again Ben."

Feeling the warmth and security in her touch … hearing that love in her words deep down his soul started to turn towards her. And cracks started to appear in the barriers that surrounded him. But his mistrust of himself was still too strong and knowing he would fail her again said softly. "I left you and forgot you. I can … will do it again and it will hurt you. You don't deserve that kind of love or life."

Meg knew it was so like him to think of her rather than how much it would hurt him and smiled and was tempted to sneak a kiss on his hand but resisted. Instead she made sure she had eye contact with him and said softly with all the love that she felt for him. "You never really forgot me because you kept your bag safe and I was in that bag. In the photo that you kept close to your heart in the basement, helped you climb that cliff and given the right connections you would have been back earlier. Your deep love for me which I understand now because I feel it for you is the reason you would not get far. Your soul, your instinct brought you back to us … my love, your twin's connection and his grave … and that will happen every time you leave and no matter how far you go. So stay here and each time you forget I or our friends will help you remember … we will be here with you."

Ben turned away from her finding it all too much, her words shattered the darkness bringing memories into the right sequence the good out weighing the bad and felt warm shivers run through him as the truth started to sink in again. He could not leave her … ever.

Meg felt the gentle shivers run through him and not knowing what they meant but hoping it was the right thing to do carried on gently. "Yesterday when you woke unable to talk or remember we sat together on the grass and looked through the album and it gradually came back to you. It may be frightening to you but it does not hurt me because I know you are safe and photos are special memories for us both now. When your memories stay I hope we will still sit together and go through the album add new memories and ideas for future.

She emphasized his name. "**Ben.**" And he turned his head towards her as she added. "Let us help you through this time and if you've not mourned your brother's death then we will do it together as a family this time. You didn't run away or desert us, you did what you to protect us and give yourself a chance to survive. You survived and you protected us and you needed time to heal and you helped Betsy and her family to heal and I love you for that.

Our friends and my family helped me and trusted you to return and you have." This time she sneaked a kiss on his hand then brushed it against her cheek as there was no resistance, then because Ben's stomach gave a very loud rumble that could not be ignored she added with a slight laugh "Food".

At his slight nod and half smile Meg let go of his hand and got up and reached over for the tray of food and then sat down beside him with the tray on her lap knowing her closeness would be accepted… was wanted by both of them.

Ben watched her, his mind churning with different thoughts now she'd broken through the barriers - he knew she had found that deeper love he had hoped she would … the type of deeper love that had driven him to her at the beginning and kept him going through the dark times. He still felt tainted and unsure … knew he would forget and remember again … but he **knew** he was home now and he would trust her love to help him heal. Accepting the bacon toastie and taking a bite brought back the feeling of security he'd felt on farm and when he finished his mouthful he asked. "So what was it like having 50 million dropped in your lap like that?"

Meg laughed, hearing a smattering of the old Ben in his tone and knew she had won for the moment and she had to tell him the truth but not all the nitty-gritty just yet so admitted in a light tone. "Frightening and then fun."

Accepting the toastie he'd pushed towards her and between mouthfuls so he would finish his one and possibly start the last one she carried on. "Don't forget I had the others to guide me and they did. It also told me how much you trusted and loved me. As I got more used to it I understood how you could consider such large sums as ordinary the ones I though as large small change in fact. I mean to say just bought the garden centre for you out of petty cash, which you forgot to add on just now."

Ben nodded and looking at her said. "I've got some change then."

She laughed and could see the warmth coming back in his eyes and how easy it was to talk to him and answered. "Well enough to buy some stock and pay the workers for a few weeks if needs be. There are still plans to make and we can stay here if you like. Jenny won't be using it as they've got the house to sort out for moving. Casey can take photos of our new home so you know what it's like inside before you move in and you can even think about a pond in the garden if you want."

"Sounds good." Ben said eyeing the mugs knowing he was thirsty but didn't want tea so chose the soup and with all the memories going through his mind shivered and added quietly. "At least we don't have to get married."

Meg exclaimed gently "Ben" wondering where this was going with that one.

He looked at her seeing and hearing her anxiety and realised he'd said his thought out loud and explained quietly. "I'd forget everything half way through and I doubt anyone or Antonio would do it after the last time."

Meg laughed with relief and knew if they'd had to get married she would have gone for a small one and understanding the silent plea from him for the truth about his leaving decided to explain some of it saying gently. "Dad and Antonio understood why you left and they helped me to really understand how you would have felt if you'd stayed …. … …

As she carried on telling him about her fears, feelings and about the past months listened to his questions and comments she felt the barriers and guilt were gone. They were two close friends catching up on the past and the main things were … he'd come home … was safe and they had a future.


	60. Chapter 60

**Chapter 60 **

As Jude walked towards the gate to the chalet in the garden centre he wondered just how wise it was to have everyone with him for this meeting … well not everyone granted … but it certainly felt like it. He'd managed to stall Tony and Paul with a pile of paper work and tidying up some loose ends about leads and detail that would be dealt with when offices got up and running.

He'd tried that on with Patrick and failed at the last fence … that was Sy's fault sort of ... She'd smiled and said would like to see her parents, now … not later … and she needed a taxi with a driver who would not spill the beans to the press. … Patrick of course innocently pointed out he had car and wouldn't spill beans … but as neither of them knew the way to the garden centre and couldn't read a map to save theirs they would follow his car. Jude knew full well that nothing would've keep Patrick away from this meeting and they could both read maps either way up. So they didn't really need to play him, but it was fun to watch and eased the tension in the office because they knew they were in for the long haul.

Jude knew he could have offered them the empty seats in his car but he needed to make detour to pick up a passenger, one he reckoned would want privacy rather than a car full people … and he'd been right on that account. He stopped at the gate to wait for his companion to catch up understanding completely Father Antonio's nervousness about being here. It was a clash of feelings – his own need to be here verses the guilt and heartache because of his sister's deceit. They had talked about it and hoping to reassure Antonio again he turned to him and said. "You know what Ben's been like he **needs** to see you are safe, words from me will not do."

Antonio nodded still feeling as though he should not be here, not yet or ever perhaps. But he'd promised his mother and she needed it done and if he was honest with himself he needed to face his friend and any rejection. Get it over and done with and know where he stood ... where they stood and then face the future no matter how hard it was. Deep down he knew that he and Ben trusted each other, it had started from their first meeting and grown over the years and it had not been one-sided. Ben had also talked to him after the first kidnapping and he'd given him the clues that had started this whole ugly ball rolling, trusted him when he didn't know himself or the truth.

He sighed following Jude through the gate, knowing it all and the trust they'd had in the past he still felt as though he'd failed his friend … his brother … through blood if not through friendship. And surely that would be enough to be rejected and not forgiven now Ben remembered all of it. But he couldn't back out now the other two were grouped behind him and they wouldn't let him he instinctively knew that.

Leading the group along the path Jude was amazed how this garden changed with each visit and the feeling of peace that now came with it. Spotting Ben and Meg sitting by the pond he smiled feeling a wave of relief run through him … they were together and talking so that had to be a good sign. He knew the officers on the gate had been warned about Ben's attitude but nothing more and he'd made sure they wouldn't slack either about people coming in or Ben coming out just because the 'boss' was here now.

Seeing the other three by the chalet he wondered just how to do this. In two groups or one … Bob would want to know all the details and Ben might be content with knowing the couple had been arrested without anyone getting hurt. But as the officer in charge of the case he needed Ben's decision on certain things so he needed to talk to him … them because they would be able to tell him if Ben could in fact make that or those decisions.

Helen, Tim and Bob had watched the group enter the garden and now started to come towards them and gave nods as silent greetings when they got closer.

Sy who was at the rear of Jude's group could not contain herself anymore and called out. "Hi Mum, Dad!"

The couple by the pond turned at the call and the groups coming together knew there wouldn't be any quiet catch or plan of action before the full meeting.

Jude wondered if considering the past for Ben straight meeting without a group meeting would be best… he might feel as though everyone was ganging up on him, and as the group met asked. "How is he?" and handed over a copy of the local paper so they could read about it all and would have tangible proof of the arrest if Ben needed it later.

Smiling at his sister's quiet but loving telling off as mother and daughter hugged Bob answered Jude's question. "Definite about what he will and will not talk about. Very rocky, doesn't trust himself and feels guilty as hell over his actions and walking out on Meg so nearly stormed out back onto the road again for good. But as you can see he's still here so Meg must be getting somewhere. Of course he's totally glossing over the fact he had no choice in the matter and is lucky to be alive." He gave a gentle sigh and carried on. "I trust Benjy's coming soon it's definitely sight and settle … no matter how much he trusts us. Seeing Antonio will help him as well." Without a pause he turned his attention to Antonio and added. "Glad you could come this can't be easy for you or your family."

Antonio nodded knowing it was really meant and not just a platitude and Jude sighed knowing things could still go bad, looked at his watch then answered Bob's question. "Should be under an hour, a private plane is flying them in, then there's a car on standby to pick them up and bring them here unless we tell them differently. Benjy's been silent since he heard Ben was back."

Helen shook her head in sadness as she quickly took stock and then said quietly. "Everything inside just like Ben, no doubt Derek was the same. Might get stormy if he resented Ben's disappearance and there's his grief at Ben's part in his father's death to consider. Of course the fact that Ben will look like Derek isn't going to help. Has to be done though for both their sakes by the sounds of it." then added in a normal but still quiet voice. "He was silent to begin with and Bob helped him control his memories. It's not surprisingly it's overwhelmed him and it's a strong possibility he'll go back to silence again soon. He won't need chapter and verse about the couple or an audience" and smiled as she added "Though he'll have to suffer the last bit."

Jude smiled as well and nodded understanding they were going to be around Ben come what may. Knowing Antonio didn't need to hear it all again and was wondering what to do when Sy who'd given her father a quick hug suggested. "Patrick, Antonio and I could walk round the garden while you talk to Ben if you like Jude."

Jude nodded and noted Helen's nod approval but there came a quick quiet and very firm "I'm staying" from Patrick. Which didn't surprise him at all, Patrick wanted to meet Ben and Sy being here was a bonus for him. He also knew Ben didn't really need an extra shrink watching him and had quietly pointed that out to Patrick earlier and got a very dirty look for it.

Antonio liked the idea; it would give him more time to adjust … everything felt strange, slightly off kilter and guessed time would deal with that one. He was pleased Ben looked as though he was coping but was worried he should mistrust himself so much as to think about returning to the road … be a traveller again. Pondering this he started to walk around the group towards Sy and stopped because Helen was in his way. He side stepped and found her there again and felt her hand on his arm and heard her gentle "A word" as she gently led him away from the group. As he liked her from their short talks earlier he didn't resist.

oxoxo

Jude saw the move and smiled reckoned it would be about Antonio's family and hoped it would help him as he was troubled on all sides at the moment. He also made a mental note to ask Helen about seeing Annie some time soon, she'd felt as though the ground had been knocked out from under her feet by Maria's actions and he knew an unstable Annie could lead to trouble… A hand on his arm broke into his thoughts and he turned to see who it belonged to and smiled.

Meg had walked quickly and quietly to join the group and put her hand on Jude's arm to get his attention, when she got it she saw he looked tired and guessed it had been a long night. But reasoned things had gone well because Antonio was with them and asked quickly just to make sure. "Everything okay?"

Jude nodded and let Meg carry on. "That's good; Ben asks if you could come over if you need to talk to him. To be honest I don't want him near the gate and he seems better near the pond anyway."

Jude could understand that and said. "We'll come over I need to talk to him."

Meg nodded but stepped away from them and over to Antonio to see him first.

Seeing her coming Helen gave a slight nod so she'd know she could break into whatever they were saying. So Meg put a hand on Antonio's arm rather than calling his name and as he turned towards her she said gently seeing how worn he looked. "Ben's glad to see you and would like private word later." then added "I'm sorry it happened." She didn't know what the right words were - "sorry for your loss" meant the woman was dead well she wasn't, she was arrested for being a bitch … and suppressed her thoughts and anger it was not his fault and he was nothing like her.

Antonio nodded knowing it was difficult for everyone and said unsteadily "It's good to see you are both okay, I'll be at the top of the garden with Sy when he's free." and left with Sy letting Helen's advice work through his mind. As they walked on, the beauty and the quiet of the garden seemed to help him, he also realised he felt better with strangers at the moment and wondered if his mother might find the same. She might talk to Helen or someone out of town, she certainly could not talk to Dr Estrada she'd been too close to everything and her friends couldn't really help…well not yet anyway.

Meg watched him go then turned to Helen knowing the others could hear and said. "Ben's okay and we are staying here till his mind settles. I thought I might get Casey to take photos of the inside of our new home so he can get used to it and some more of the garden so he can decide where to put a pond. "At Helen's smile and nod Meg smiled and turned away adding. "It might be best if I take the lead."

oxoxo

Ben felt a pang of fear at the emptiness besides him as he watched Meg walk towards the group. Though he felt more himself now they talked, he could not suppress the knowledge he could forget it all … be that stranger at any moment. He knew he'd wanted it earlier when things felt too much for him and it had not come … knew that didn't mean it wouldn't ... knowing his luck it would at the wrong time and that was any time if you really thought about. Seeing Antonio leave the group he reasoned things must have been all right otherwise he would not have come and hoped he would forgive him for breaking up his family again and it would not split up as much as it had before.

As the group now walked towards he shivered, even with his soulmate leading them and he knew them … most of them … they still looked intimidating. He watched Tim lead two men over to some smaller logs and reckoned they would use them as seats along with the rug near him. Make them into a group rather than everyone sitting in a line looking at the pond as they talked ... that would have been interesting but difficult ... a group it would be easier.

Concentrating on the two newcomers with Tim he recognised Jude from their quick introduction at Liberty Corp before his ill fated trip to Seattle. He shut off the rest of that memory and remembered what Bob and Meg had told him - Jude was a detective with Ricardo's old force. He'd been with the FBI undercover as well as a rich investor who was connected to AJ. Watching them he realised they worked easily together so could be a working partnership … an officer of some kind… was that good or bad...

His thoughts stopped as he heard Meg's gentle "It's okay to see Antonio later at the top of garden." Her few words said a lot to him – mainly they both wanted to talk, he knew he did and was grateful she sat next to him. Felt her closeness but not the crowding of a cuddle or touching … they both knew it was better like that at the moment and watched the group sort themselves out so they could easily see and hear each other. The stranger sat next to Jude then Bob sat on the end where he could stretch out his leg and that left Helen and Tim on the rug. The stranger intrigued him and recognising certain signs glanced round the group ending up with Helen as she sat down and couldn't resist saying. "Another shrink to add to the pile."

Helen laughed; Tim and Bob smiled hearing the gentle tease in the words so softening what could be considered harsh words.

Patrick knowing they were aimed at him gave Jude a quick glance and shifted uneasily as he sat pondering. - The man couldn't be that good and surely he hadn't been that obvious in looking at him nor did he have his trade was written on his face … did he?

Jude smothered a smile at his partner's unease and answered. "He's half a one, a profiler and detective with the FBI usually with fraud and undercover, part of my old group before I was seconded to Sunset Beach." Feeling the gentle scrutiny from Ben he carried on to explain. "I asked for his help in following up the leads you gave Antonio and Tyus and he did and wanted to meet you. If you like he'll go for a walk and come back later, but he was with me earlier this morning when we arrested Maria and Rodney Peters your jailer."

Ben relaxed feeling the trust from Jude's words, then said in a soft tone to both of them. "No he can stay and compare notes with the others if he likes." Then hardly moving turned his attention to Jude and changed his tone. "I trust the couple went quietly, Pedro obviously wasn't his right name and that's why he gave it me."

Jude couldn't help smiling at Helen's Tim's and Bob's expressions and the quickness of Ben reply and knew he was amongst good friends. He'd also spotted Patrick's silent promise he would compare notes later and from Ben's change of tone knew the man wanted this over and done with so said. "They came quietly once we woke them up and gave them no choice. Pedro was his family nickname, his real name is Terecro Petito Rodriguez and he used a lot of other aliases Rodney Peters is his final one.…

Not wanting too much information Ben interrupted admitting. "I doubt any statement I make will be any good I only picked up silhouette and body language when I was in Seattle and saw him at Ocean Drive … it was their greeting in that half light that gave my mind a nudge at the Shock Wave." He paused for a brief moment surprised that the memories didn't overwhelm him and carried on. "He used a voice changing thing, disguises and bad lighting … I think it was done to frighten me but it also gave me hope I might get out alive. It of course will be his word against mine as Derek's dead and no doubt a good lawyer will pick holes in mine. So, is there something more concrete you can nail him with?"

Jude gave a slight smile glad that Ben was taking the lead but couldn't help the sigh knowing what he'd said was true and explained the definite charges they had so far. "They both go down for bigamy as they never divorced each other. Luckily they had egos to support and once in Seattle seemed to have written everything down on their computer, we're still checking that out. Though the house in Franklyn Street was destroyed he took photos of you in the basement and still got other trophies so it will be a bit more than your word against his. Unfortunately they are staying silent and got lawyers so it will have to go to court to get them convicted."

Ben shivered, sighed and felt Meg's hand on his arm, then nodded to himself knowing there was still something that bothered him but was not too sure what it was. Certainly didn't want to push it in case he blacked out and lost what he'd gained overnight and so far this morning. He fleetingly wondered if it was just shadows, the final cobwebs now he was understanding and catching up with things, and knew he'd talk to Helen when things got quieter again. For now though he needed to know and asked. "Did he have a job other than me?"

Jude nodded and said easily. "He's got a small computer company doing web pages and computer programmes; Maria helps out on the art work for it … that could have been going on in the background while you were there. He also worked in and took over a garage and has a passion for vintage cars. Bought ten with some of the divorce money Maria got from you. Five are in really good condition now and the others were being done up some nearly finished." He paused for a moment and decided to go in at the deep end and said. "We've found out Maria diverted some charity donations you gave every year so she's down for fraud in a big way."

Ben looked out across the pond then sighed, feeling the loss and knowing he'd failed in so many things and said almost to himself. "The one I started for her just after we married no doubt. She suggested donating regularly after seeing and entering their art competition. I liked what they stood for so said yes, let her take the dominant role regarding it, read the updates and let it tick over." He turned and looked at Jude as he asked. "Can you trace any of it?"

Jude hadn't realised that was how it had started, when he got back he would see about digging deeper and said. "Yes, there's a paper trail, it's a joint one with another couple who live in Seattle." He knew he might go deeper than Helen wanted and put in quickly. "Stop me at any time you want to."

He saw a nod from Ben and a slight one from Helen knew she would jump in if need be and carried on. "The males are cousins ran a garage before they moved to Seattle, the other couple are in for fraud to do with life and business insurances. When your jailer was needed elsewhere the cousin stepped in to check on you and the woman used the cash card so we know they are connected. As they arrived in Seattle together it means their fraud and the charity money is woven into both life styles, which includes an apartment block that was started off through the charity money, then was bought out with the insurance money, and that leads to Rodney's and Maria's house in Seattle. The garage is mainly down to charity money, as there's also earnings, cash card money and the divorce settlement it's complicated so it will take time to unravel. We've got a bank account to look at later today which should help trace things."

Ben was surprised how calm he felt as he listened to Jude, knowing this was just headlines of their duplicity. He also understood the implications and knew the difficulties once the lawyers got involved and quickly decided what he wanted. Then without looking at Jude but gave a nod that he'd understood it all explained. "I personally don't want any of it back nor any jobs or homes lost because of what's happened. I suspect she's cashed some of the divorce settlement so that will be broken up, to avoid lawyers make sure the insurance company get the money back with interest then charity can have the rest. They might want to think about running the garage if its good one rather than just selling it off for cash." Having got that out his head he looked at Jude and clarified. "You're saying the couple are going to draw things out regardless of evidence and obvious guilt."

Jude nodded and suggested "If the divorce package is still intact or partially it might be better if you accept that back but we'll deal with that at a later date when we know the whole picture." And paused thinking on through the suggestions amazed how quickly Ben was grasping his meanings they were thoughts of man half asleep or in shock…

Ben's quiet but with an edge "Have you found my car?" broke into Jude's thoughts and surprisingly shook him to the core as he remembered the remains of the car and their new thinking about it. And couldn't help sighing knowing Ben needed to be told but he hadn't wanted to do it just yet, he'd wanted to give the man some time to come to term with things.

But before Jude could say anything Patrick butted in. "I'm afraid it's a total wreck. Bob thought you might have had a tracking device fitted, we found you did and Angus and Ricardo used it hoping it was hidden locally and hit pay dirt. It was hidden nearby and next to the car from Seattle both cars helped us identify the jailer."

Noting Jude's reaction and that Patrick was the one willing to talk Ben asked. "She did it with him?"

Patrick knew that was what had got Jude and was surprised that Ben had got there that quickly and from the man's dark expression answered him truthfully. "It's possible. They found her partial print on a grease spot on the cover that hid the wreckage. They could claim it was done earlier and had nothing to do with that car but we are going to analyse the grease spot see if we can trace it to the car. That will of course take time and might not be conclusive, we were looking for quick headline stuff hence fingerprinting but now we are going through the site and the cars very carefully as we've got them secured."

Ben nodded and turned his attention back to Jude and said. "So I own his vintage cars."

The calmness of that statement rather than a question sent a flutter through Jude and he knew without looking round the others had stilled, especially Bob and confirmed. "Yes you do."

Ben nodded and knowing what he wanted to do asked. "Are they seeing each other now they've been arrested?"

Thinking Ben needed to be reassured that the two could not gang up on him Jude said. "No, the Judge has ordered total isolation. They have their own lawyers and those lawyers can only discuss legal matters to them and lawyer to lawyer. Any personal request about the other has to be written and passed to the Judge as does the answer and that will carry on after they've been sentenced. At the moment they are hardly talking to their lawyers."

Ben nodded and not taking his eyes off Jude said quietly and firmly. "So there's nothing to bargain with to stop them staying silent and taking it to court, they will get life without parole with isolation to protect the other inmates or themselves."

Feeling as though he was watching a big cat getting ready to pouch on its prey and was relieved it wasn't him, Jude remembered Rodney's flash of horror when he'd mentioned Ben would own the cars and said quietly. "That's right."

To everyone's surprise Ben looked at Meg and said softly. "I'll understand if you say no to me after this."

Feeling the tension and anticipation from the others Meg didn't understand what Ben could do to produce this and his words threw completely. He was saying she might want to leave him after he said whatever he was going to say. She knew she couldn't do that and said truthfully. "I'm your wife and love you for who you are. So do whatever you have to do."

Ben looked at her seeing the truth in her and nodded then turned back to Jude and said softly. "I'll write it out if need be so he knows it's from me, I don't know if the Judge needs to be informed or not I'll leave that decision to you. He's to be told today and he has two days from the second he hears it, reads it, to reject it or get it done. It's his choice but his wife is of course included.

They are to sign full confessions of all their crimes and plead guilty to the Judge in closed court and accept his full judgement to the letter. If they do then five vintage cars that need work and any replacement bits for them in the garage will be crushed in the municipal crusher and any parts on order are to be cancelled. The other five will be held in storage till the end of their sentence or their deaths and then destroyed in the manner of the time not sold on as complete cars.

If they don't agree or stay silent and go to court then all the cars will be presented to the armed forces target range or the police range where they will be stored and then in turn shot at and blow up. As each car gets too small the bits will be gathered and either destroyed in another way or crushed and returned to him. This will also happen to the cars left in storage if they break any of the conditions laid down by Judge.

He's to choose the order they will be crushed or towed out to the range and the date for starting and updates will be their wedding anniversary. If he can't choose the order then I will I've no doubt she got a good price for the house and if you can trace it that will pay for their storage etc. I expect Charles will be able to deal with it if not then find someone who can."

There was a moment of stunned silence then Jude somehow found his voice and said. "She kept that money separate but it may be difficult for him to persuade her to fall in line."

Ben looked away and across the pond and then back to Jude and said. "His problem not mine they have two days, he's to know I've no contact with the project once its running and will go to court and face him if needs be, it's the others I don't want dragged through the mill. Thank you for taking the risk for me. I'll go and see Antonio now … he needs to know." Then he looked at Meg and said gently. "Thank you. Stay here for awhile."

Meg couldn't help her half a smile as she nodded, she was shocked at what he'd just done but she loved him and trusted him.

That done Ben got up and hitched his bag on his shoulder knowing the others would want to talk and he needed to get away. He could feel those dark edges closing in on his mind. As he passed Bob he stopped because a thought struck him making him look back at Jude and ask. "Can you give Bob a lift to hospital for his appointment with the specialist?"

With his mind still getting round things Jude said "Yes if that's okay with Bob I was staying till Benjy comes." and glanced at Bob.

Bob watched Ben nod and walk away without a backward look and said quietly. "Yeah … fine."

As Ben was out of earshot Helen gave a gentle laugh and said to her brother. "No excuses or whining."

Bob just gave his sister a look as Patrick exclaimed in a voice that showed his admiration of the man who'd just left them. "Are you kidding after that little lot? **Hell**, he thinks on his feet." then looking at Bob he asked as an after thought. "You didn't tell him about the cars earlier did you?"

Bob shook his head and said. "No, didn't know anything about them and Jude only discussed things that affected Ben. This morning Ben and I talked about the months in the basement which I'm not going into now."

Patrick heard the answer but was still pondering on about Ben and said quietly. "If you were running with him you'd jump off the cliff knowing damn well you'd be able to ask questions later." He stopped, sighed and chuckled. "Woops bad example … Oh I love him."

Bob grinned recognising '**that**' tone and reaction and saw Helen and Tim understood it as well.

Jude shook his head and smiled at Patrick's reaction and then admitted to the group. "I thought he might have the cars crushed, think Rodney did by his reaction when I emphasised that Ben would own them. But then he reasoned as Ben was a businessman so would sell them for profit and relaxed a bit. Can see why Ben wants them destroyed they would always be associated with this case rather than their own history. Hell, Rodney will go mad he hated leaving the other that's one of reasons he came back."

Bob could guess the others and said quietly. "Its nicely done you can see payback as Rodney has to do it and gets reminders. I must admit I thought sold for a dollar each but like you said they'd be around and that would satisfy Rodney's ego." He looked at Jude and carried on. "Be nice to see his reaction so film it if you can or even better get Maria and Rodney together with the Judge and get both reactions."

Seeing Jude's smile and nod Bob looked across at Meg and added gently. "He was giving you a chance to pull out of the marriage now you've seen his dark side."

Meg nodded, she guessed Ben had a dark side after all she'd seen his short sharp temper once or twice, was a successful businessman so needed 'that' instinct also though she didn't want to admit it there was Derek to consider, and said "I know and they deserve it … he went through hell … and he would not act like that to just anyone and especially not to me. It takes a lot to make him cross and he could have turned on Tim my ex fiancé but he didn't and he always treated my dad with respect. Can he do it … I mean is it legal or is it just a threat?"

Jude sighed and looked at Bob then back at Meg and said. "I think so, Ben owns the cars so can do what he likes with them, is going to get rid of them and it could be seen as just giving Rodney the choice of how. I'll tell the Judge see what he says and then I'll tell Rodney … or perhaps I'll just tell Rodney and hope he keels over in shock."

He shrugged his shoulders at their reactions to his hopes and carried on. "The Judge has already said the car that was driven from Seattle is to be crushed when any trial or sentence is passed so he's lost that one regardless. Visits are to be at the families request only not the other way round and cleared by a Judge, so I guess they won't be seeing anyone for a while. He's also restricted computer use for Rodney bearing in mind the emails he set up and might do the same for Maria if we can prove she's good at it."

He paused for a moment and looked at Patrick who gave a little nod and knew they were remembering the same thing and admitted. "Maria might be a bit off him and that's my fault.… I got slightly pissed off at their attitude during the arrest and told her what we'd found out about Rodney."

Helen guessing that 'slightly' was an understatement and interrupted softly. "Not surprised about that, after all they came back to rub everyone's noses in the fact Ben wasn't around and take the money they didn't need."

Jude smiled at her gentle support and carried on. "Sy and a police officer went down to the home town and found out he's always had a thing for his brother's fiancée, there's nothing to say he was involved with his brother's or his father's death or actually took steps to take her away from him before he met Maria. After that accident he told Maria he needed to marry the woman to save jobs and provide for both families there were other suggestions made. Don't know it they would have worked and there might be private comments on the computers or in other paper work it all needs going through. But from what Sy found out he was a good husband and father to his children and they've taken years to get over his death. He found out she was getting married again and wanted to see who their new father was, watch unnoticed from the wings … a sort of final farewell before they started their own family.

She … they as you said came to twist the knife in Ben's reputation and wipe out that marriage as far as her family were concerned. Get … got sympathy and acceptance of her first marriage and got Rodney welcomed into the family reminding them how good he was standing by through all this and onto starting a family that they would have to go and visit not the other way round. The email to Meg was a reminder to her that Ben wasn't there, was willing to give her money but not love, a future or family. Make everyone feel he was not worth remembering or thinking about.

As I said her … their attitude got to me and I inferred to her that Rodney was in fact showing off what good kids he already had … therefore he was the complete man and she … well she had to match them with her own or be considered a failure as she was having difficulty conceiving."

Helen nodded and looked at Patrick as well as she said. "Better than beating the couple up."

Jude sighed knowing that was true and Patrick nodded his agreement.

Meg shivered at the cruelty of it as everything fell into place and asked. "Is the wedding still going ahead?"

Jude smiled remembering Sy's conversation. "Yes luckily the husband to be didn't duck out and the children will know their father pretended to die and lived with another woman and their new father wants to adopt them as his own. If they say yes they will be adopted at the wedding ceremony and she will be using her maiden name. The whole town will know the truth as well so I'm guessing there will be a lot of supporters there. There are a few financial tie ups but they are small compared to the others and not seen as her fault and we've told her Ben is getting support here."

Helen asked. "Will they help his mother and sister?" knowing how people can turn on each other when hurt.

Jude looked at her and said with confidence. "Yes, they know they are victims and the towns have a good community but I think it will take a while for it all to sink in. What do you think Maria will do?"

Helen thought for a moment understanding his fears then asked. "Do you know who initiated the end game on the day of the storm?"

Remembering Patrick's notes Jude answered. "She said she was ready and he said yes okay, so I guess it was six of one and half a dozen of the other. Though we've not read all of it yet obviously that will take time. But we can say Ben really got under Rodney's skin especially about the money, Maria on the other hand believes she had a right to it. Now I've twisted the knife I'm not sure how she'll react. Heaven help the shrink who has do deal with them." and stopped realising what he'd just said.

Helen chuckled at that and said. "They should be warned she's an expert chameleon personality and I expect he's not far behind though he might have control tendencies as well. I'd love to know more about them, but don't worry about what you did. They both gave up good marriages to be with one another again. And you could say he had his fling with his family and then kept Ben in the basement as payback though I doubt that was quite as satisfying or easy as he thought it was going to be. He never broke Ben and never will … the fact that Ben is dictating the end game proves it and that will twist the knife when Rodney accepts or leaves the deal.

She on the other hand" and Helen used her fingers to show quotes round the words when needed so they would understand her real meaning …"'**had**' Ben twice. First when she married him and then" She paused and looked at Meg, knew she wouldn't mind the reference but not detail and explained. "At The Deep after she'd no doubt pushed Ben so far that he did '**it**' to survive and didn't really know what he was doing till after. In fact it was the only way she could '**get**' him … as far as I can see she'd failed the other ways because he stayed true to Meg even when she wasn't there all the time.

Maria also '**had'** Derek for the months he pretended to be Ben, I suspect she duped Tess as it looks as though they weren't friends and were working to different agendas. Of course we'll never know about Derek because he's dead and I wouldn't believe what the two women say about it. Maria and Rodney feed off each other and neither would want to hurt the other to that extent, after she'll know exact how deep he loves those cars so it will in fact hurt both of them. They might clue into the fact by going to trial it would hurt their creditability inside and they might even get a worse jail to live in. You might want to press that last point when you or the DA sees them."

Wanting to get away from that train of thought she sighed then said brightly. "**So** did you manage to get in like mice or did you have to do the 'charge of the life brigade' act and break down the doors and yell your heads off?"

At the mention of Tess's name Jude decided he would talk to the boss about getting in touch with her, and smiled at Helen's change of tone with her last sentence and glanced at Bob who he could see was all anticipation and said. "Like mice with stun guns and Bob would have loved it … … …


	61. Chapter 61

**Chapter 61**

Walking away from the group letting everything settle Ben felt a bit better … a little more settled … normal or as if a door had been closed … more like half closed. There was still something on the edge of his mind and pieces to be picked up, sorted out and he didn't need to see Rodney's or Maria's reaction to his ultimatum to do that. After all he knew what it was like to have everything taken away from you and given to someone else. Knew there was a difference between him and them … they were in a no win situation and no way out. True he'd faced imprisonment and death but there'd always been a glimmer of a way out – he knew his twin wanted to see his death, which meant the Jailer had to keep him alive till they met. So there always had been the possibility of a slip up near the end ... and because he'd beaten Derek once and knew him … he believed he could do so again. Had done so … and had ended that story forever.

Only it hadn't ended there he faced deceit and death again … and had tried to win by taking them with him … making all their deaths make things right. Granted he'd failed in taking them with him but had won by surviving and by becoming a traveller and by coming home. … And now … he was going to have a life … a future with his real wife … but at a cost to his other family and the deep feeling it could all be taken away from him … again. This all felt very strange to him knowing he could had thoughts … memories and lose them … have thought he could understand and work through … even come up with ideas as he'd just now … or mull things through as he walked...

Looking to where he was going his thoughts changed because he was watching his friend … his other 'brother' chatting with a lady as they looked at the top part of the garden. The bit they hadn't really done yet but it did give the best overall view as he'd found out when he chopped the old tree down and sat on the log with Meg. Concentrating on the lady he could see she was Helen's daughter and briefly remembered her family had talked about her. From the easy way she… Sy that was her name … chatted with Antonio he knew they were fast becoming friends and felt that warm feeling of friendship he'd missed run through him.

As it did he hoped Antonio would not freeze up on him when he realised what he was going to do to his sister and knew he would have to tell him now and accept the consequences. He knew having the law send them away for life was one thing but to have a friend because he couldn't call himself 'brother in law' or brother any more pronounce his kind of justice would probably bring them to breaking point. So do it now not later when ties have been renewed if they were going to be … and hoped that Antonio would understand it wasn't to get his own back he wanted to stop the hurt a fruitless trial would bring everyone.

Getting closer the two turned towards him and not trusting words just yet he nodded a greeting.

Knowing the men would need privacy Sy smiled and walked towards Ben on reaching him she put out her hand and shook his introducing herself. "I'm Helen's daughter Sy, it's nice to meet you Ben and thank you for saving our family home."

Remembering about the house Ben smiled and nodded guessing it had all been put in hand and he'd be told about at a quieter time and said. "It's okay hope it works out and it's the least I could do … your family took in a total stranger who couldn't tell them anything about himself or what happened."

Sy gave a gentle chuckle and said truthfully. "It's happened before but you did more you helped Betsy as well and I can't thank you enough for that."

He smiled and admitted. "I think we needed each other and helped each other."

Sy smiled at that and said. "Thank you all the same. I'll pop down to the chalet and see if I can raid the kitchen for drinks. Come down when you're ready." and walked away reckoning her family could really start a new chapter in their lives and be happy again.

oxoxo

Left alone the two men looked at each other, both grave and a little uncertain now the time had come to be together and talk … neither knew how to start without causing pain to the other or themselves ... life was so complicated.

Antonio feeling the tension glanced around the garden and broke the silence. "Its amazing what you've managed."

Ben gave a slight smile and admitted. "Especially as I didn't know what I was doing half the time. Don't forget I had help and I've also got a funny feeling I've left a job half done at the Mission."

Antonio glanced at him seeing and hearing the whole Ben and smiled but then turned back to the view saying quietly. "Thanks for what you've done the rest will keep though. … I wasn't sure you'd want us near you. … I'm sorry she did this to you and Mama asks your forgiveness for everything. Ricardo well he's really pissed off at … her …" He couldn't say his sister's name really didn't want to think about her … it hurt and it was too nice here to be tainted by her.

Ben looked at his friend seeing his pain and understanding it totally and interrupted gently. "Why are you apologizing for her it's not yours or your families fault?"

Antonio looked at him amazed remembering '**that'** gentleness of tone or insight from their very early meetings. When he'd come for advice or they'd just chatted or one listened and the other chatted and the silences in between were comfortable.

Not giving Antonio enough time answer and remembering when he'd gone to 'Father Antonio' for help Ben carried on. "After Derek murder Mark and the others, had deceived Meg at the warehouse and the cabin you and I talked at the Mission. There you told me though I was his identical twin freedom of choice made us all unique … our own masters. He'd made his and I'd made mine and that had set us off on our different paths and though those paths had crossed I would never take up his path unless I wanted it... made it my choice."

Antonio nodded remembering that talk and how unsure Ben had been at the start and how reassured he was after. And when he'd spoken that belief to Ben it had been said because he knew it was true and it wasn't just a Priest reassuring a worried friend … his brother of choice. Strange though hearing the words said to him with true honesty because he knew Ben would not lie to him … it didn't take **that** guilt away. The guilt that said he should have seen the signs … knew something was up … done something about it … stopped it **because** he was her brother… and being her brother was like her…

Ben saw the guilt, knew it and how it stayed around and carried on as they sat down on the nearby log and looked down the garden at the group by the pond and then said. "Granted Carmen asked her to stay with the Aunt but doing that doesn't make her guilty of what her daughter did nor does it make Ricardo responsible either. You were the youngest so didn't have a say in the matter. Maria made her own decisions … then and right the way through to now and will pay for them. So it was her choice to do it."

Out of the corner of his eye as he looked round the garden he saw Antonio's slight nod and sighed knowing what he was about to say could break this fragile friendship and added. "I will be giving the couple through Rodney an ultimatum to plead guilty to everything they done in Judge's chambers and they are to accept his judgement totally. I suspect it will include isolation for life with visits from you and your family on your request not hers. If they don't accept it then his cars that I technically own will be taken to the forces target range to be destroyed over the years, to start on their wedding anniversary and they will know about each one. If they do accept the deal then some will be crushed now and the others will be stored to be crushed at their deaths or end of sentence. If they break any of rules over years then a car will be taken out on to the range and slowly destroyed."

Listening and thinking it through Antonio knew he shouldn't like the idea but he did and could see the reason for it but remembering how stubborn his sister could be said. "Do you think that will stop them from putting everyone through hell again?"

Relieved there wasn't an eruption of anger Ben answered honestly. "Should do he apparently loves the cars. But if they say no or the Judge chucks the idea out and it does go to court then we will see it through as family and friends. Jude reckons there is enough evidence against them so they should get life anyway and I'll destroy the cars the way I said I don't want them tainted by the case or name."

Antonio nodded understanding what he meant and watching a butterfly land on a bush nearby said sadly. "I remember her laughter and the family fun together as well as the times she used to look after me because the others had to go out." He paused unable to suppress the shiver at the memories the words threatened to bring him, and when it was over he went on. "Then … then she let us think she drowned in a storm … scared and alone … instead she was living in Seattle without a thought to our pain … or our nightmares of that night. I wonder if she was always scheming … showing her best side to everyone and if she ever loved us as we loved her. And if she said yes to that question … could I believe her." He gave a gentle heartfelt sigh adding. "I don't know her and it hurts so much."

Ben understood and said quietly. "When I sat at my brother's grave you told me to remember him as he was before it all went wrong and what I knew then not what I know now. I remember Derek as a brother … a twin …who'd get into mischief with or without me and we'd laugh and cry together and had our family's love. I know he did awful things and I killed him but it does not stop me loving him or his memory …or missing him. I accept the past, our past and know I can move on to a future with friends around me. You should do the same letting time and acceptance of the good and bad come gradually rather than all at once."

Antonio smiled letting the words sink in feeling their friendship come back again as well as feeling slightly better … more reassured that he could accept what had happened, that it wasn't his fault and was startled by Ben's next words. "I didn't know you when you found me on the beach looking out at the sunset. In fact I didn't know anything … just that sunset totally got me, **so** it was just as well you saw and talked to me, didn't walk on by."

He smiled at Antonio expression as he turned to look at him and carried seriously. "I and my bag would have got soaked if you had and I reckon that was the first time I'd left my bag unguarded so you can see how bad that sunset had got me. Your voice brought me back from where ever I was and I knew from its tone and sincerity I could trust you completely. Some whispers of recognition might have seeped through later but at that time I was a stranger to you and myself. So, don't let what has happened stop you from following the path you've chosen, others need that tone and sincerity."

Antonio could hardly believe Ben's words, but knowing Ben he knew they were true and could only nod as Ben added. "Tell Carmen it's not her fault and if she wants to see me in the future that will be fine." and gave a smile as he carried on. "It's strange to think of Ricardo being a dad I'm glad he recovered from the stroke and I would like to see the family sometime and I'm sure Meg would like to see Gabi."

Knowing he still found it strange seeing his brother with the baby Antonio smiled then said. "He's good with Cathy, she is an early baby should have been born in a few of days time and is just starting to get out and about now she's stronger. So we should be able to work something out, she has his stubborn streak but looks like Gabi" at Ben's look he amended quickly. "Well dark haired and pretty if you know what I mean. As I said he doesn't know who he's more pissed off at himself or … Maria."

Ben nodded and said. "Tell him its okay we were both grieving at the time." then added in a lighter tone. "I understand Gregory Richards is around."

Antonio laughed at the change of subject especially to that one and commented. "Yeah came back as a cousin. You know I think we'll start looking at people's deaths a round here in a different light. Make sure there is a body to start off with. Are you and Meg going to be all right?"

Ben chuckled and then remembering earlier answered in a serious tone. "She's staying married to me and accepting my loopy memory, told me off when I thought I ought to go back on the road to stop hurting her or anyone else. I think she's grown bossy in my absence" seeing his friend's expression added "in a nice way of course. Mind you I did dump my fortune on her so I can't blame her." He huffed to himself then continued. "What I find difficult to accept is that I was walking out on her Christmas morning before it all blew up in my face."

Antonio smothered a smile at his shorthand expression at what happened and said seriously. "You accepted her walking away from you to get space through out the relationship, so why shouldn't you do the same when you needed space."

Ben huffed slightly as he explained. "Yes but I **knew** why she was like that, she's younger had family ties and a past to deal with. Whereas because of my past and that pull inside me I **knew** she was the only one for me and no one lives forever. So **why** was I walking out on her and **why** didn't I take her with me?"

Antonio smiled at the picture it produced and said gently. "Because you knew she needed space with her parents to get over what happened. And you, you needed space to mourn your brother's death and your part in it. Find and remember him as a child not adult." and from his experience now added. "For that you needed strangers around you and something that reminded you of home so you could think of your parents and twin and how much fun and love you all had. And then say goodbye to him … them and move on. There was nothing wrong in that. How long do you think you might have been gone for?"

Ben shrugged his shoulders and remembering admitted. "Don't know a day or two hadn't really thought about length so I doubt if it would have been weeks …

Not wanting his friend to go back down that path again Antonio interrupted gently. "Not long and you're home now and she loves you deeply and trusted you would return … we all did and we all worried a bit because it was taking so long. But we only had your grieving over my sister to go by and then you buried yourself in business for a long time that's why we though you were doing it again and of course the email they sent help fuel that belief."

He gave a sigh closing that door and added. "You said just now we need to stand together as family and friends so lets do that without guilt from either side. We know we are both hurting and will get over it in time."

Ben nodded and said gently. "You're good."

Antonio laughed and feeling better in himself said genuinely. "So are you and its good to know we can be brothers again sit and put the world to rights as we used to. But not any longer as it looks as though Sy has raided the kitchen and the others will finish it all if we don't go down there now."

"Okay" Ben agreed and got up putting his bag over his shoulder and as they started to walk towards the group Antonio asked. "How's your cough Sister Jane was worried you might need some more mixture so I left a bottle with Jude to give to Helen.

Ben smiled and said quietly. "Thanks, not bad actually, Jenny gave me some of her brew some when and that helped but a tickle still gets me every so often. Oh before I forget…" and looked across at Antonio's soft chuckle and huffed. "That's so unfair."

"But true, go on."

Ben gave him a look and exclaimed sarcastically, "Gee thanks." Earning him another chuckle from Antonio which he liked and it felt good. Then he finally got round to saying what had been growing in the back of his mind as they had talked. "I'm pretty sure that crowd down there will not let me out today but I'd like to visit my brother's grave so if Casey's free sometime tomorrow he could take me in his truck."

"He'll jump at the chance and I'll come with him, Meg could always ride in the back with you as well."

Ben nodded and added with a smile. "She'll keep me in line and if I've forgotten you'll be there to remind me all about it."

Antonio chuckled again at the gentleness of the tease and said. "There's that too." Then knowing that other possibility needed voicing and now seemed a good time he added. "If you had died that morning your body would have been found possibly within days or a couple weeks and questions would have been asked and the car traced. No one obviously came Christmas day but people do use the other paths further along and because of the unique rock fall the cove was being monitored once a month."

Ben nodded finding it settled him and closed that door by asking. "So what's Sy like I've only heard Helen's, Tim's and Bob's side?"

"Being sat on a bench and silent you hear a lot."

Ben chuckled at his friend's tone and said. "Yeah something like that Father, but of course I forgot it all now though it seems to come back in headline form and needs teasing out to get the whole picture. So perhaps I aught to sit on a bench and let them talk again … it's weird having this stuff in my mind and even weirder knowing I had silence and nothing for months." Then he admitted truthfully. "Even wanted it back earlier and now I'm starting to dread it might come back."

Antonio gave a sympathetic sigh and reassured his friend knowing that comment wasn't said lightly. "It will take time but it will steady down and now you know you won't truly lose it … it will come back.

As for Sy well she's bubbly, very intelligent easy to talk to and of course with Bob as an uncle she can defend herself. She likes Patrick a lot though they've only just met and she feels she needs a change from journalism possibly something with some safe action as she put it. Possibly FBI related and nearer to home since the death of her uncle and aunt, though I think that will mean same State rather than same town. And of course she'll have two home towns now not to mention Bob's flat or broom cupboard as she calls it."

Ben smiled at the amount of information his friend had gained in a short time and remembering more bits and pieces commented. "Yeah seem to remember they were worried about something she was doing abroad at the time. As you say considering her family she'll need some excitement. Heaven knows what Betsy going to turn out like."

Antonio smiled saying. "I heard about the meeting up … wished someone filmed it."

Ben chuckled, "Whirlwind has nothing on her when she gets going and that goes for talking as well as running." Then he coughed and couldn't stop, seeing Antonio's concerned look and when the fit finally stopped Ben wheezed out. "That's your fault for asking about it."

Antonio huffed good naturedly and they walked on in silence neither wanting to start off another fit of coughing.

When they got within talking distance of the group enjoying their drinks Ben asked. "Any left, we are gasping having put the world to rights."

At the collective shakes of the heads of 'No' and smiles which told them they were lying Ben added with a huff. "Typical!" then looked at Antonio and added firmly. "Right then town it is!"

There were expressions of horror and a loud chorus of "No!" from the group.

Ben said quietly "See told you" and Antonio chuckled remembering his friend's earlier comment.

When they got to the table Sy handed Antonio a mug of tea, which he took happily. Ben however eyed Helen who was handing him a small tumbler of Sister Jane's mixture and said to her. "It wasn't **that** bad and I can drink tea you know."

Helen wasn't put off smiled and said. "We'll make you a fresh cup in a while, and it's the second attack you had this morning so you need it."

Ben took the tumbler and looked at Bob and sighed. "Tale - tale" To which Bob just smiled and nodded enjoying seeing this side of Ben. Seeing the pad and pen on the table and understanding why Ben turned his attention to Jude saying. "You need it written down" then he gave in and drunk the mixture, which was very nice and did help stop the tickle that was threatening to erupt again.

Jude didn't want to break the good mood but knew it had to be done and said. "Yes please it's so everyone knows the exact nature of it all and it can be dealt with without coming back to you. We will make sure all costs come out of their money if the money for house is not enough. I'll let you know the outcome of the meeting and the rest of the investigation as it progresses of course."

Ben nodded relieved Jude hadn't actually said 'in case you forget about it all' and seeing Meg move the chairs around so they could sit together said "Thanks" then he turned his attention back to Jude and realising he didn't have a clue asked. "What's the date and how do I address it?"

Antonio seeing Jude's slight embarrassment that he was there while this was going on said. "Its okay I agree with it all and hope because if comes from Ben it will bring the whole mess to a quick and quiet end. The Father in me might say something different … something about forgiveness but he's not here at the moment." then turned to Helen and asked. "Can I have a word? I was thinking about what you suggested earlier."

She nodded and they moved their chairs so they could talk privately.

As they settled out of earshot Jude turned his attention to Ben and said. "No address is needed but I will sign it and date it at bottom as a witness but I can't give it to him today as we might have to add a murder charge to his list. If I just ask him to explain without any evidence he'll gloss over it and I want the truth about the death if there was one.

You see when he faked his own death he used a car crash. That car and body are at the bottom of a ravine. It was too dangerous for an ordinary team to retrieve car and body so it was agreed by the family that it could be left there as the site had already been designated a grave site. They had already identified the body and car from what they could see and as the husband never came it confirmed their fears. Now though the car and the body will be brought up by a team of experts and we will then know whether it was just a dummy dressed up or a real body. If the latter there will be an autopsy in the hope we can find out if the person was murdered or it was a case of miss-use of a dead body. All that will take time I'm sorry."

Ben shivered at the callousness of it all and commented. "I don't suppose he used his own car or anyone was reported missing at the time."

Jude thought about it and realised what Ben was getting at and said. "No the car belonged to the woman he'd married and she's remarrying today. I take your point it he didn't want to damage his car and she would feel the blame more because her car caused the death. I'll ask her if she wants to add any other charges against him regarding the car. No one or body seemed to be missing so …" he paused under Ben's gaze then understanding went on softly. "So it could be a traveller or stranger who would not have been missed or known by anyone. Whether we find out the cause of death or not we will try and identify and then trace any relatives. Whatever happens we will make sure the remains are buried properly."

Ben nodded and taking the paper and pen said. "Thank you." Holding the pen he found the barrier produced by writing and signing the cheque Christmas morning was gone and he wrote the ultimatum quickly and easily. When he'd finished he handed it all back to Jude and said causally as the thoughts came to him. "She always used to like looking at old cars, we went to a couple of shows and she would talk to the people around them, would sketch certain cars but I don't think I ever saw the finished articles. Perhaps she sent them to him … could have met him there even who knows." and got up looked at Meg who'd been sitting quietly and said gently. "I need space but I would like you to be close if you would …want to come."

Meg smiled though she'd heard the hurt in his voice and felt a tiny shiver at his words, knew he was giving her the choice and as she watched him put his bag on his shoulder said. "Yes please and we can sit by the far side of the pond if you like." guessing that would settle him.

Ben hadn't really thought of where and looked over where she suggested and felt that pull of peace and nodded then grabbed the cushion that was on the chair and said. "On the rug and use the log as a back rest. I think we should ask Jenny if we can get some proper seats with backs so we don't fall off them." Meg laughed at the picture that made and grabbed a couple of cushions as he added. "Bob, you can read the note and can you ask Helen for that cup of tea she promised."

Bob nodded and watched the couple go then went over and sat by Jude who was looking at the note. When Jude finished and signed and dated it he handed it over to Bob saying quietly. "It looks so casual but after what he just said it's got more bite than when he first expressed it."

Bob read it and chuckled and said. "As Patrick said you've got to love the man. Just make sure you video the interview."

"Well don't be shy then." Patrick said holding out his hand and looking at Jude for a nod of consent, which was duly given and Jude's phone rang.

Jude answered it on its second ring and listened then said. "Okay we'll be ready." and disconnected the call. With Patrick's contented sigh in the background Jude looked at Bob saying. "You'd better tell Helen Ben needs the cup of tea now because the plane's just landed so they will be here in about a quarter of an hour."


	62. Chapter 62

**Chapter 62**

As Meg walked close to Ben, she felt the happiness at seeing him and Antonio walk towards them chatting like old times turn to simmering anger at what Ben had just said and what Jude and Patrick had told them earlier. She couldn't believe the cruelty of the pair, of Maria in particular she knew her mother would never be able to travel to Seattle; it was well know she'd not spent a night from Sunset Beach since her husband died. How could she come back like that and stir it then leave pleading it was other people's fault she was not coming back again. Hell! The dratted woman had her sympathy at Christmas because of her own past with Derek when and all the damn time that damn woman knew Ben was at the bottom of a cliff dead or dying.

Her simmering mind flitted back to the earthquake where she'd had befriended Maria as Dana and she stormily wondered if she'd seen the real one that time or that was just another face … and did anyone know the real Maria … if there was one … would they want to. She slammed those angry thoughts down and knew she couldn't even start to think how Antonio and his family were feeling … coping… betrayed certainly didn't cover it. As for Ben … well she knew he didn't give the kind of trust or love he'd given the woman lightly … and she'd taken it and threw it back in his face … the bitch was even willing to kill him ….

Her mind still tossing angrily she realised they'd come to the log seats and had stopped. Not only that, Ben was already starting to sit down on the rug having placed the cushion against the log so his back would rest against it. She'd thought he would have sat on the cushion rather than on the hard ground and realised he was now watching her, silently waiting for her to join him down there. She saw his dark eyes were brooding and his expression showed concern so she huffed to cover her angry thoughts and admitted. **"**I was thinking of sitting on the cushions and lean against the log."

Ben gave a slight smile at her words, but it didn't reach his eyes showing Meg he was still unsettled and as his voice had that flat tone as he explained. . "The ground's okay with the rug on top, it was always my back that ached because there was either no support for it or it was hard and unforgiving like the log." And then turned away and looked at the pond confirmed to her he was on the edge of flipping back into silence.

Meg quickly silently weighed it up then put the cushions against the log and realised she only needed one so put it to one side and made sure she had a gap between herself and Ben so he wouldn't feel crowded. He'd had wanted her close and there was that invisible barrier around him at the moment which meant no talking. She would do that … get down there and sit and wait it out, and was glad she was wearing trousers not a skirt or dress. There was no way she could do this elegantly not that he would worry about it and knelt down, then swivelled round and wriggled back to get comfortable. It wasn't easy and the ground was hard no matter what he said and felt a shiver run through her.

And her mind chugged into that realisation he'd got down with ease sort of second nature and he would … he'd done it for months in chains in the damn basement at Seattle … and then as a traveller in the hedgerow to get shelter, out of whatever the weather threw at him no doubt. And her anger bubbled and churned again … she would never have known the truth **hell **he could have died on the road as a stranger to everyone around … and the other unknown car crash victim came to mind. He could have been someone else's cover story … killed for dime. She silently huffed those dark thoughts away knowing he was safe now had found new friends and decided to try to find that peace he seemed to get by looking across or at the pond … and looked at it. … Yeah some hope of that … all she wanted to do was to cuddle him … and kill Maria **slowly**… both out of bounds … and let her mind swirl on.

"I think something is missing" was the gentle but clear comment that nearly made Meg jump out of her skin a little later. Her thoughts had been drifting to peace of what was around her as she looked at the plants by and in the pond and had spotted some butterflies flying around them.

Now she immediately shifted round so she could see Ben comfortably as he looked out across the pond and after placing the other cushion so she was comfortable she could tell from his body language that he was still brooding. But as he was talking he had to feel slightly better hadn't he and wondered what he was on about and knowing he might not be exactly with her here in the garden asked. "What is and from where?"

Ben turned his head to look at her and said softly. "Ducks in the pond."

"Ben! It's not big enough for a family!" she exclaimed quickly guessing he'd been back on the farm where the pond had been a small lake and had many families of ducks whereas this one was a new garden pond. She doubted if it would even support one duck … possible two but certainly not a family. And if they had just one it would fly off looking for a mate having got lonely... bored so they'd be supplying the area with duck mates and if one did come back with a mate then they would have to feed a family of ducks themselves …

Seeing her thinking Ben shrugged his shoulders and said innocently. "I know … I was thinking the other variety actually."

His words stopped her thoughts and she looked at him closely for a moment, then her mind went walkabout for the 'other variety' of duck and when she came up with it she gave a gentle wail of utter disbelief. "Oh no! Not the bath ones."

Ben looked suitably hurt and said. "Well not the big yellow or brightly coloured ones, more like the duck looking ones." then using his hands to make the point by showing where in the pond added. "Have them amongst or just coming out of the flowers to entice any flying by to land and then having rested take off so we don't have to feed or protect them. Sort of quick duck stop."

Meg giggled at the picture that came to mind of all types on the pond intermingling happily and spotting a slight twinkle in Ben's eyes knew she was being teased and decided to have her own back saying gently. "How about a gander and a couple of geese instead."

With a look of mock horror Ben exclaimed "Oh no! Not even in fun." and then he added gently knowing how she'd been feeling. "It's alright to be angry just don't explode."

She looked at him and asked softly hoping he would talk. "Does that apply to you as well?"

Ben sighed then answered truthfully. "Well exploding is messy for either of us so yes. I'll get over it eventually it just hurts too much to see you angry and Antonio hurting at the moment. But on the other hand I don't want you to hide your anger from me." and then added softly. "You ground me you know that don't you."

Meg nodded and said gently. "I know and you being here helps me." then asked guessing the two men must have discussed things. "Will Antonio get over it?"

"Who can say but he'll take one day at a time remember her in childhood when they had fun ... just like I do with Derek." He gave a sigh feeling some release of his feelings and then added. "At least she's not broken our trust in each other and if we pull together then the family will not break apart as it did last time. I've asked him to bring Casey over so I can go to the Mission tomorrow."

With a flash of worry Meg asked. "To stay?"

Surprised at her assumption he couldn't help his sight smile as he reassured her. "No just to visit my brother's grave and to see what work I've left behind, I can't really remember what I did so I'd like to see it again. You can come too."

Meg smiled with relief she'd thought having spoken to Antonio he'd had second thoughts about staying here or had forgotten a few things and said. "That's okay and I'd love to come see what you've done even help if needs be. I told Helen about getting photos of the inside of our new home as well as the garden so you could think about a pond … possibly get it done before we move in."

Remembering it Ben smiled and teased. "More yellow ducks."

Meg laughed and exclaimed. "**No!**"

"Blue ones then."

She gently thumped him on the arm and then found his arm around her and she was drawn in closer to him. She snuggled against his chest and felt a gentle kiss on her head and felt his warmth so stayed still welcoming the familiarity of it all. And knew it was first time he'd shown this type of affection as the whole Ben and this was not just a fleeting glimpse of him as it had been before. He was home to stay and it was the 'silent stranger' who would flit in and out now.

"**Excuse me!" **

Meg heard Ben's very gentle reply to the call that had disturbed them. "That proves we're home. It used to be the door bell or the phone now it's someone calling." she laughed remembering how true that was and pulled out of his embrace to see why they were being disturbed.

Helen was carrying two cups of tea and hearing the remark said in a slight huff. "I'll tip them away then shall I?" though her bright eyes and slight smile said otherwise.

"No no! We'll cuddle later." Ben said and seeing Helen's expression change added quickly, "Meg and I will cuddle later."

Meg had shifted so she could reach up for her cup of tea but couldn't as she just curled up laughing … what with Ben's words and Helen's expression it was really too much for her.

Helen smiled and shook her head and then crouched down handing Ben his cup of tea and put Meg's on the ground safely out the way saying. "It's over there when you're ready Meg."

Meg took a couple of deep breaths, tucked her hair out the way of her face and controlled herself and saw Ben giving her a look. She shook her head determined not to start off again and concentrated on getting her cup of tea.

Instead of leaving Helen got up and sat on the other log so she could talk to Ben and said. "Benjy will be here in about ten minutes, I need to ask you a bit about your childhood as Benjy's gone from quiet to silent."

Ben sipped his tea and nodded; he could feel that flutter of something on the edge of his mind but could not catch it and knew it was not the tea and all it's shadows. He could trust Helen as much as he could trust Meg so it was something else.

Helen seeing the change in his expression said gently. "You're still worried about him even though you've been told he's safe."

Ben admitted. "There's something about him and Ocean Drive ... but I can't get a hold of it."

Helen sighed and said gently. "You couldn't have done anything else Ben. You helped him Christmas Eve as much as you could in the difficult circumstances."

"I know. … Perhaps it is just shadows and once I see him it will be gone." Knowing he really had to leave it he turned his attention to what she'd asked saying. "You think by knowing something about our childhood you can help him."

Helen nodded and added realising it might bring back sadder memories. "And how he was with you would as well. I believe he was very quiet and took a while to come out of his shell with his new guardians which is not surprising really but is now a fairly relaxed and talkative child. So, were you and your brother always silent and serious or were you both boisterous and bubbly children and growing up has made you silent and serious.

Our household was large so always noisy even through meal times and Bob surprisingly enough was the fidget of the family though as you know he can sit total still now when need be. Mind you just because we were noisy it didn't mean we couldn't be quiet or find a quiet corner if we wanted one."

Understanding her meaning Ben thought for a moment then said. "I suppose we were more serious than other kids. Though we did rough and tumble with them and between ourselves … we also chatted, joked and were quiet together. Teenage years we snapped at each other found our own space and I started getting headaches from him but we still talked and joked together. I suppose that's when we started breaking away from each other … knew we could and there was a big world out there." He gave a gentle sigh and admitted. "I don't know why he turned on me I would have shared given half the chance. Some of our silences were because we needed to sort things out before voicing our thoughts … they were natural not forced and our parents would wait us out not push us into speaking. They would tease about it being the silence before the storm of ideas.

There was always a lot going on when Benjy came, he was very quiet and attentive, when we went on the beach looking at rock pools together he talked and laughed. He was quieter around house so he might have been keeping his true character to himself or just over whelmed by the number of adults around. From what I remember of Tess she was quiet, cagey but then she was hiding a lot. Of course he might be silent now because he's worried about coming to see me … might think he has to change guardians just when he's settled in with them and I won't do that to him. But he wouldn't know that and might be afraid to ask just in case it was yes. If he wants a nephew uncle relationship we'll have it, if not then I'll accept that too I'm not going to force him into anything but I expect he needs to hear that from me rather than another adult."

Remembering the photo of the twins she'd seen and never asked about Meg said. "You've a photo of you and Derek as children and Derek was pouting."

Ben gave a gentle laugh remembering that one and then explained. "Yes and he was, but what you couldn't see was Mum and Dad laughing behind the cameraman as it was taken. We often went with our parents on working visits if they were at weekends; we'd been round this couple's garden … adults deciding what to do etc in the usual manner. Just before we were due to go they wanted a photo of the beautifully behaved identical twins, so we stood there in position but the sun went behind the cloud and would not come out for what like seemed ages. Of course immediately it did the man took it with no warning and Derek was pouting because of the long wait. The next one was with us being given large homemade ice creams by the man's wife as a reward. That's the one they kept and I held on to that one because I always remember the story as I looked at it … and they were good ice creams too." He sighed adding. "Don't know if they kept that, my wallet and watch."

Noting the change of tone Helen said quickly. "I can check with Jude for you. So we'll let things ride along naturally when they come." then added knowing a bit about their history. "Hank is bringing him over, is that all right with you?"

Ben looked at Meg and asked tentatively. "Is he okay with this?"

Understanding his uncertainty and knowing though she'd mentioned it before he might need the information teased out again said. "I don't know if he's been told we are married but he knew why you needed space, helped me to understand and he was happy to help you by doing his garden. Also as he's with Benjy yes he will be all right so don't worry about it."

Ben gave half a smile and trusting her words and the flickering memories they produced nodded.

Helen smiled at the way he'd accepted Meg's reassurance and carried on. "Okay, I think his adopted parents will be here as well so that should give him some reassurance he will be going back with them. Antonio said you wanted to go to the Mission tomorrow to visit your brother's grave. I need to ask a favour."

Ben gave a huff and eyed her guessing what rules she was about to give out disguised as a favour.

Helen smiled at his reaction and explained. "Tim and I want to come but we'll take the trailer and not sure about Betsy yet she could stay with Jenny. Tim wants to spy out the hospital and no doubt check on Bob if he's there. I want to see a couple of people one of them is Carmen Torres. Antonio thinks she needs to talk to someone … if she doesn't want me I can suggest someone from out of State so she won't feel prejudged or anything she says will get back to anyone here or Sunset Beach. I don't expect she be back at home but if she is I'll see her there. If she's at the Mission I'll make sure you don't meet unless you want to." She decided to leave Annie's name out of it for now but if things went well she'd see her for a quick chat and would be able to talk to Ben about her if he mentioned their friendship up.

Glad Helen would be able to help Carmen Ben nodded and said. "So it's not just to guard me then."

Helen kept a straight face as she said. "Well there's that **but** you'll be wearing your jumper so if you flit off we can put a police call out and get you back in minutes."

He huffed and added lightly. "So no chains or ear muffs then."

Meg looked horrified and Helen laughed then said. "No don't think so, hadn't thought of ear muffs for loud bangs but you will have an officer with you as we need to watch out for people wanting photos etc. The arrest scenes are in the papers so people will know about it and there will be a police statement with more details this afternoon so you never know it might be old news by tomorrow. But I wouldn't bank on it; if a reporter spots you out and about they might push for an interview." Knowing that was all for now she finished "I'll leave you two in peace." and then got up and left them glad he was taking everything so well.

Ben looked at Meg seeing traces of shock from the banter still there and said gently. "Its okay someone's got to say it so it might just as well be me. We've got a few minutes for tea and a short cuddle."

Meg smiled and felt the tension in her lesson and steadied her cup of tea and moved in closer to him.

oxoxo

The police people carrier stopped and everyone got out and the police driver started to lead the way past Meg's car to the chalet garden gate. Hank had hoped Benjy would have spoken by now but there'd been nothing just a small solemn boy looking through the tinted windows at the outside world. There hadn't even been a smile as they picked up Joan and it was decided everyone would stay with them tonight rather than a strange hotel or cramming everything into one day. He was sure the boy had grown since he'd seen him last he'd certainly not lost any weight and felt a little hand grasp his and looking down to see two very wide dark soulful eyes and a silent serious Benjy standing beside him.

He'd expected Benjy to stay with his new parents for this and he would walk with Joan find out what had happened overnight as he'd been out the loop and would then be ready to give his daughter any support she needed. But it looked as if this little fella had other ideas so he said to him casually. "Okay lets go and find Uncle Ben shall we." And felt his hand tugged away from where they were meant to be going so wondered if he'd said the wrong thing or the boy had changed his mind and that was why he'd come to him. Not wanting to intimidate the lad he crouched down and said gently keeping eye contact with those dark soulful eyes. "You said yesterday you wanted to see him and he definitely wants to see you to make sure you are okay so there is nothing to be afraid of. You've done nothing wrong."

He got a soulful nod and then a silent ask for a pick up. Well who could resist that and he'd picked up sacks of corn and other things so one lad shouldn't be any bother and he'd done it before with him so knew how he would react. He nodded stood up then reached down and smiled as he picked the boy up, not missing the fact Benjy was holding the soft blue toy he'd been given for Christmas. It was a little worn now and from what his adopted parents had told him it had become a guardian of the bedroom in recent months. Now though it looked like it was back to being a security toy for the boy… if it was safe so was he and who could blame him. He hitched the boy up a bit so the toy was not in his face and the main weight was on his hip and found it was not too bad. He could walk easily and followed the officer glad he didn't have to open the gate and noticed Joan was walking and talking with Claire and Josh so perhaps this split up was a good idea after all.

As soon as they were through the gate Hank did a quick scan of the way ahead, not only to know where he was going but to see where everyone was and he would be going in the right direction. Feeling Benjy tighten his grip around his body and the boy's head or shoulders were resting against his shoulder he reckoned the lad might by looking behind his head or back towards the rest of his group. Make sure they were following or who was around so said to reassure the child. "Its okay, no one is going to make you do anything you don't want to, if you want to just stay here and look that's okay there's no rush. There are some people coming towards us Ben's not with them he's with Meg by the pond over to our right." And felt a slight movement he hoped was an 'okay' or a peak to see and not the start of a squirm to get down and run off.

As Helen came up to Hank she took in the scene, heard the man's gentle reassurance and smiled then said. "Morning Hank glad you could make it, if you don't mind we'll keep to first names it will make things easy for everyone. I'm Helen and the others will introduce themselves a little later. If you don't mind I'd liked to say a quick Hi to Benjy so he can see me."

Getting Hank's agreement Helen stepped round him to look at Benjy and smiled then said gently. "Hi I'm Helen nice to see you. We will give you all the space you need. Though I think Hank might like to put you down in a minute and you can walk around if you want to or you can sit and draw at the table. Silence is fine so is asking questions." Seeing Benjy had taken in what she'd said and hearing Tim and Bob start to introduce themselves to Hank and knowing they would then walk on up the path she gave a little wave and pointed that she was moving onto the others behind them.

Knowing they'd heard her conversation and wanting a gap between the two groups Helen slowed then greeted them with a smile and. "Joan, nice to meet you I've seen your photo in Ben's album when we've looked through it with him. He's okay and is talking and is happy to meet everyone, you're welcome to stay as long as you like. My husband and I looked after him at the beginning then lost him till we came here yesterday and it's nice to see him again. I must say Benjy's certainly got the eyes, especially when being silent and thinking."

Joan smiled and nodded then turned to the people just behind her saying. "This is Tess's sister Claire and her husband Josh, Hank said you are a doctor."

As they walked together Helen smiled and shook hands with them then said. "Yes I deal with head injuries and trauma Tim my husband deals with the whole body. We've adopted my sister's daughter after a family tragedy last year so I understand the difficulties everyone's going through. I believe Benjy sees Tess is he okay after those visits."

Claire who looked like her sister but had short dark blonde hair and a less guarded smile answered. "Yes he likes seeing her though he is quieter just afterwards but that's understandable. They usually talk about what he's been doing and about his father if he brings those memories up. He calls us Aunt and Uncle or just Claire and Josh as we are not taking their place or changing his surname and he's made a couple of close friends rather than a big group."

Helen nodded and had a sudden thought so asked. "Do you know if Maria's been in touch with either of them?"

Claire thought for a moment then said. "Tess has never said anything about her, but Benjy had a card from Maria not long ago, he tore it up and went quiet so I rang the number we'd been given and left a message she was not to send him anything again and he returned to his normal self. He was quite happy up to yesterday but when Hank came he gradually went quiet and then refused to talk to anyone this morning. We've not had a tantrum to say he's unhappy at what we are doing. He can be very stubborn if he feels he's being pushed against his will, doesn't scream or shout, it's done very quietly but is very effective and as we've not seen that reaction I think we are doing the right thing. As he had a disturbed night he could just be over tired and that's what making him silent and soulful.

He was very quiet when he first came to us but once he realised he was staying with us he's become a happier chatty child, though there are some things he'll not talk about and we don't push him on those and he has quiet times as anyone does. I just hope he doesn't react badly to Ben he's not talked about him at all. Come to think of it, it must be daunting for both of them considering their connection and their past."

Helen nodded liking the way the Claire was happy to talk about Benjy with little prompting and then said. "I know what you mean and we must be ready for the best and worst reaction." Now she knew Hank and Benjy were out earshot she asked quickly. "Have you been told that Maria has been arrested for attempting to kill Ben Christmas morning?"

Claire paled making Josh come close beside her and answer for her "No. Hank said Ben had memory lapses and wanted to see Benjy to make sure he was safe. And Ben's jailer married to Maria but the police were dealing with it. Where did it happen?"

Was joined by Joan's exclamation "No! I only caught part of a bulletin saying they'd been arrested for fraud more details later then Hank turned up and we came here. You mean they were in it together?"

Helen explained as they walked. "Yes, he was taken from Ocean Drive to the cliff top near Castletown, he survived the fall and luckily Bob my brother picked him up the morning after and took him to our farm where we treated him. He was silent and had no memory of the ordeal from what Ben's told us overnight Maria drugged Benjy so she could help the jailer. Benjy of course wouldn't understand that he'd been drugged when he woke so could not explain what he was feeling. From what we've learnt about Ben his silence is a natural survival mechanism so Benjy might well have inherited it."

Joan sighed as Claire said softly. "No wonder he was so quiet … he did speak but only when spoken to as I said he seemed better once we got him home… away from here. This morning we just got silent compliance so perhaps he's remembering the after effects …" she stopped talking as they had caught up with the others and Hank was putting Benjy. So as not to crowd the boy they tagged onto the end of the group.

From his safe cuddle Benjy had listened to the woman and liked her so let her words join the tumbling fuzziness of not knowing what was real and what wasn't and that knotty feeling he had in his tummy ever since he knew he was coming to see his Uncle Ben. He knew he couldn't stay in this cuddle he needed space to run if need be. So wriggled a bit and then slid down his Uncle Hank's body till he reached the ground and then gripped his Uncle's hand that gentle rested on his shoulder. He then checked to make sure Aunties Joan and Claire and Uncle Josh were still there … they were he'd been checking as he was carried knew they'd been talking to the lady … Helen and didn't seem to be too happy all the time. And wondered if they had the same knotty feeling as he had, remembering why he was here he used his Uncle Hank's legs as a protective barrier and looked round them towards the pond. Saw Meg trying to keep up with the man storming towards them and found in spite of his fear, churning mind and knotty tummy he couldn't take his eyes off the man … it was his Uncle Ben.

Seeing Benjy's reaction Helen moved towards him and Hank while giving quick hand signals to her brother and husband about what she wanted them to do. She saw Bob immediately talk to Jude and her husband take notice and feel the tension in the air around her, this was not going to be the quiet meeting she'd hoped for. There was likely to be a boy running in fear or shock because the storming towards him was identically to his dead father. She also knew there was nothing she could do to stop Ben without causing him harm and felt an unsettling niggle about something she'd heard just now sweep across her mind. She stamped on it knowing it had to wait till whatever happened here happened.

oxoxo

During their moment Ben and Meg drank their tea, discussed a bit about her parents visits to see Benjy and decided to let the boy come to them by the pond rather than join the group by the chalet. Then they'd heard the phone in the chalet and by the group's reaction guessed the others had arrived. Meg had smiled at Ben's reaction a relaxed glance round the garden as if checking everything was in its place. A bit like her reaction with their new home when she knew he was coming to do the garden. Then her musing had turned to flutters in her tummy as car doors were banged but as Ben didn't react badly she relaxed a bit. They'd both turned towards the garden gate and watched the police open it and then Hank walk in with Benjy, she'd smiled at that how good they looked and watched the groups get closer. Then she'd felt Ben move start to get up expected him to help her or say something but he hadn't … he was off like a damned rocket towards the group. And she was left with the task of catching him up … some hope … she didn't want to run or call that would spook him and the others. She also noticed the way Benjy was playing peep Bo from behind her father's legs … rather than being funny it worried her so she quickened her pace.

Ben's mind had been churning a bit but he'd accepted that and was glad that the car doors banging hadn't spooked him. Watching Hank enter and seeing Benjy leaning against the man's shoulder he felt a rush of memories and feelings from the time he'd carried the lad and thought he was his son. Seeing Benjy came the confirmation they'd not lied to him the boy was safe … that question had been an on off thing he couldn't explain to anyone or himself. And suddenly that dark itch on the corner of his mind got bigger and he knew he had to be with his nephew **now** and got up and stormed towards him. With each stride that itch disappeared and truth became clearer till guilt swamped him making him realise no one was going to stop him getting to his nephew and Hank would have to step aside whether he liked it or not.

Feeling the tension in the air Hank guessed Benjy was looking round his leg at the couple walking towards them. The man charging towards them … seeing Ben's expression he reasoned it wasn't anger it was more like one of a trouble parent … relation. Well he knew that one from the inside with his experiences with Meg and Sara as children so decided it would be very prudent to step aside and expose the boy to this troubled Uncle. Prove to Ben he was not a barrier or hiding Benjy from him. But he wouldn't move far away … he would be within snatching distance so he could … snatch the boy out of trouble if need be. That would be far easier than trying to stop or tackle Ben … no he'd leave that up to the others in the group. And with a gentle reassuring "its okay Benjy" he stepped aside and watched Ben getting closer by the second.

Benjy heard Hanks words and trusted them and in spite of the knotty feeling in his tummy and churning mind and let go of his Uncle's hand. Now the shield was gone he knew the only person who could help him was the man who looked like his dead daddy and was storming towards him he need not be afraid. And suddenly the man was in front of him and he was swept off his feet by strong hands and arms and was engulfed in a real loving hug.

Feeling it all made everything clear... real and Benjy answered that loving hug nearly losing Bluey his precious soft toy when it met with resistance as he tried to wrap his arms round that familiar neck. Immediately and instinctively he shifted and tried again and this time Bluey ended up in the right place so by being held by his two hands he wouldn't strangle his uncle but the toy would act as an anchor. Tucking his legs round Ben's waist as he used to Benjy knew he was not going to fall nor was he going to lose this other daddy again.

As Benjy responded so Ben moved his head out the way as the soft blue toy came in his direction a second time. Making sure the boy was secure in his arms he turned his head so he could talk to the boy even if he couldn't see him properly as the boy's head was snuggled against him as he used to do. Then with all his love mixing in with his guilt for the unforeseen consequences of his actions Ben said. "I'm so so sorry she did it to you. You were such a brave boy to stay quiet and drink it. Your daddy would have been proud of you and I'm sorry he's dead and I miss him so much."

Meg had joined the group and like others was stunned into silence not only by the boy's reaction to the pickup but as they realised what Ben had said. As well as seeing the shudder ran through the little boy's body, heard a couple of heartfelt sobs which were quickly followed by a tiny tearful but clear voice say. "I hoped I would join you and daddy in heaven."

With that niggle added everything together Helen said quietly in disbelief. "He heard it and saw it …

Looking at her with gut wrenching knowledge Ben finished it for her. "And thought the milk was poisoned when he drank it. I should **never** have let that happened knowing what it felt like."

Helen wasn't the only one who shivered at the revelation or the tone of Ben's voice, but she could see his eyes and saw they were dark and stormy but still managed to say calmly to him. "You had no choice Ben anything else meant death to you both and you weren't to know she would drug him so she could see you die. You were trying to separate them to give yourself chance. It didn't work but they let Benjy live and left him alone **you made** them do that."

She walked over to them and softened her tone as she went on. "Benjy sweetheart, we need to hear your story. If you'd come and sit by the pond and talk into a tape machine then the nightmares and fear will go away. Maria can't harm you or your mother now."

They all saw the big shiver run through Benjy's body and heard the stubborn quiet "No. She can."

Turning his attention to his nephew and knowing he wouldn't drop him Ben freed one hand enough to rub the frightened boy's back in reassuring circles and said softly. "It's alright we'll sit beside the pond and we will tell them together. Because you were very brave then, we are alive today. Those two will be in prison for the rest of their lives. But not the one Tess is in and they won't harm her Jude will make sure of that. You can trust everyone here as I do. They've helped me come home and you can have orange and cake after."

There was a short silence then came a soft hesitant. "Choice of cakes?"

At the obvious bribe and the boy upping the prize Helen stopped the threatened chuckle as Ben looked over at her with a silent plea for help. Realising he would not know have not been near the fridge in the chalet she said. "Yes, three types of cream cakes – chocolate, coffee and plain with strawberry jam as well as a raspberry iced bun. Not all at once though. Jenny who baked them said something about Ben being a dustbin as far as cakes was concerned and that's why they are large cakes so there is enough for all."

She nearly ducked at the smouldering look Ben sent her way but she knew it wasn't meant for her it was him still feeling very disturbed by events. Then she smiled because Benjy with his soft toy gripped tightly in one hand twisted round and shifted so he could see Ben's face. Ben feeling the movement had turned his head so he could look at the boy and Helen saw that immediately darkness disappear and some kind of silent message went between the uncle and nephew. Then the boy wriggled in what she reckoned was a 'can I get down now' and saw him easily slide down his uncle's body and stood by his side then looked up at his uncle.

Ben looked at his nephew feeling that pang of loss not only of the hug but also seeing so much of his brother in the child and shrugged his shoulders to bring him back to now and said softly to him. "They are nice, I used to finish off all the small odd slices I could when I visited her and her parents at the café here. So, we'll let them get drinks and cakes and bag the best seats by the pond." Looking up and around he saw slight nods from Helen and the others then saw Antonio and wondered if he should hear this but saw him nod and accepted it, then getting ready to move towards the pond asked the boy gently. "Alright if Meg and Antonio come with the others."

With memories he'd kept hidden for so long tumbling though his mind Benjy looked around at the people, he knew Antonio and Meg liked them and then looked back at his uncle, saw reassurance he needed and gave a slight smile and nod … they could come. Knowing his uncle was starting to move he hugged Bluey close to his chest remembering the warmth from it when he felt scared and then grabbed his uncle's hand with his free one so he wouldn't go off without him. He might have grown but adults still walked fast.

Ben felt the grab of his hand and said softly. "Okay let's go over there." Pointing with his free hand and added. "You, Meg and I will sit on the rug everyone else will find logs or chairs whatever to sit on."

Seeing Benjy's nod and Meg coming to join them they started off at a slow pace knowing Benjy wouldn't walk very fast. After a few paces Benjy started to really look at the pond and then asked the first question about it … …

oxoxo

As soon as the threesome was out of hearing Helen turned to the others ignoring the swearing that Jude, Bob and Patrick now let rip and said. "That's what's been bugging Ben he could not believe he'd put Benjy through that. Benjy might be young but he's certainly got his uncles survival instincts. Gather rugs, seats whatever's around but don't crowd them we'll let them talk at their own pace. Tim grab the machine let the boy feel it if need be. Sy, Claire, Joan if you come with me we'll gather food and drinks we need to do this quickly." She stopped as it hit her making her say quietly. "They were coming back to kill Benjy."

Everyone stopped what they were doing or going to do and looked at her aghast, but Jude exclaimed. "Helen!"

She looked at him and said. "Don't you see? If the drug was a weaker version of the one Ben had been given Benjy might have thought it was all a nightmare made worse by the fact Ben was gone. He could have told Maria about the nightmare in all innocence and she sent him to his room and ran for help. If he'd shown them he was stubborn as he grew up then they wouldn't want to risk him carrying on till someone started thinking it wasn't a child's nightmare that perhaps something bad happened. If Meg and the others had not been there then those two might have made Benjy disappear and dumped his body away from Sunset Beach possibly with Ben's then pretended in the emails that he went off with Ben.

Benjy kept silent because the only person who could have told him if it was true or not wasn't there and we also know he'd lashed out a Ben in his grief and the guilt would have swamped him added to the nightmare. No wonder he kept silent and once away from here the nightmares got buried by his new life till last night when Hank mentioned Ben was back and those memories started to stir gave him the disturbed night and morning till now when he finally knew Ben was alive."

Jude spat out. "I'll get them the death penalty."

Helen said sharply. "No."

He looked at her and she said patiently. "Living apart knowing that Ben and Benjy brought them down will be hell for them and that's what they deserve. Let's get this over with so Benjy and Ben can get on with their lives."


	63. Chapter 63

Sorry for the delay this chapter would not settle ... so I've chopped it in two and hope the second half will behave better than this bit.

Hope you enjoy and reviews welcome.

oxoxo

**Chapter 63**

Activity by the pond was settling down as the adults finished quietly sorting themselves out so they wouldn't crowd the main participants and yet still be part of what was going on.

Sitting beside Ben, Benjy fiddled with the tape recorder and the odd looking mike then gave a tense giggle as he heard his own voice being played back. Ben distracted the boy by making a comment about the pond and Tim quickly set things up so he and the machine were off sightline but he would be close enough to move in should things go south with either of them. He reckoned that could easily happen … Benjy was so young to deal such an ordeal and Ben well wasn't a hundred per cent stable and that wasn't even taking into consideration any reaction from the greeting that had just taken place.

Making sure she was the last to arrive knowing her presence could bring new tensions in the group Helen silently sat beside her husband and put her tray of drinks and cakes on the ground. As there was no immediate adverse reaction she couldn't help smiling … nephew and uncle seemed relaxed as they looked across the pond and noted Meg was obviously trying hard to stop giggling about something and heard Ben's soft huff of disappointment"**So**, if we can't have the ducks bobbing on the pond what do we have?"

Before Helen could ask Tim what she'd missed Benjy, still looking across the pond, answered his uncle's question. "My boat for now, Uncle Hank said we could use it if we go to the beach today or tomorrow. We'll bring one back for you as there are too many people in town for you to do it."

Helen nearly chuckled out loud hearing that unique tone some children had when concerned about someone. One that made them sound like the concerned adult and you were the child they looked after. And realised the boy wasn't only verbally intelligent beyond his years he'd picked up their concern about Ben being amongst people at the moment. Also he was comfortable or confident enough to make a suggestion that would give him possibly Ben pleasure as well. Based of what had happened before perhaps if the two had played with a boat in past and wondered if this quickness of mind was genetic and not as she'd been thinking … the twins had it because they were brought up by bright and understanding parents…

She came out her assessment hearing Ben's serious and gentle reply "Great idea, different coloured sails or hull though so we can tell them apart when they are on the pond." Saw him glance towards Hank who was sat on a log on the far side of the strange horseshoe shape the group made and knew Ben had registered where everyone was and heard his innocent tone and could imagine a half smile as he asked. "Fully rigged Spinnaker Yacht?"

Knowing Ben was making a bridge between them Hank laughed and answered. "No not quite, but it will do nicely on this pond and he's right we…"

Was interrupted by Meg's gentle grouse of "And who's going in when it gets to the middle and stops there's no wind or waves."

Ben looked at her and keeping a sparkle of mischief in his eyes huffed gently. "It's not **that** large or deep a pond." At Meg's silent look and shake of her head that she wasn't going in he would, Ben glanced towards Helen and exclaimed "Oh! Cakes."

Seeing everyone was looking at the trays of cakes and drinks that had been put amongst the groups rather than in one place Helen huffed to no one in particular. "What is it about men and cakes?"

Glad his ploy had worked and he had an opening Ben still looking at Helen commented casually. "That's not fair, my wife Meg likes cakes. You do **and **if I remember rightly Betsy does so by right of birth Sy will."

With a huge smile Sy nodded at both of them, she adored cakes and those she'd carried up looked good … way too good to stay untouched for long if she had anything to do with it ...

Hearing the two gasps of shock during Ben's statement Helen held her breath realising why Ben had just dropped **that** particular 'brick' so innocently and so early. Meg's parents wouldn't know the married was real as Jude wouldn't have had time to tell them privately and guessed Ben wanted her protection for himself and or Meg should Hank and or Joan get up tight over the situation.

Knowing he'd guessed right Ben immediately looked over to Hank and Joan and said seriously. "Apparently Maria and Rodney were married to each other before she married me; they both fancied a change but never got divorced. **So** Meg and I've already done the walking down the aisle bit, I hope you don't mind."

Hank and Joan looked at each other silently weighing up the information and then looked at their daughter and Hank asked her. "Are you happy with that?" hoping she would answer honestly and allow them to help her if she felt threatened by everyone else here. Joan decided to stay silent knowing she'd chat to Meg privately and sort things out then if necessary.

Meg beamed and nodded and then decided she'd better say so in case her father got the wrong impression and said. "Yes Dad I am."

Seeing the truth in his daughter Hank immediately turned his attention to Ben said honestly. "You and Meg are man and wife and I can't see anything breaking you apart now, **especially** as I've not seen that bright smile from her in a long time." He glanced at his wife saw her smile and returned his attention to Ben and continued. "So, yes Joan and I are all right with that, but I want to hear the rest of your story and that will come later because I think Benjy needs to tell his first."

Ben nodded his thanks glad Hank understood what he'd been trying to do and reacted to his nephew's quiet actions by putting his hand on the boy's arm and saying quietly but firmly. "Not yet. Let's have those later when you can enjoy them better."

Like the others Benjy had eyed the cakes under the clear covers and as attention was elsewhere he decided the food shouldn't just sit there waiting. So he'd started to edge over to Helen's tray being the nearest and was just putting his hand out to take the lid off, when his uncle had stopped him. Hearing and feeling the gentle but firm reprimand he wondered if all adults had that second sense about what he was going to do. If so it really sucked … and then understood his uncle's words. He wasn't going to like doing what they had to do … so would have the treat later when it was over and done with … and suddenly remembered everything all too clearly he shuffled back to his uncle.

Needing that extra closeness he sat across his uncle's lap so he could lean against his chest and still look out across the pond that fascinated and calmed him. He could also twist a bit and look up and see his uncle's face if he wanted reassurance but he didn't want to look at it all the time. It reminded him of his daddy as did his voice and he felt a shiver of sadness run through him but with the shiver came the knowledge he could do this. … His daddy was dead but his uncle wasn't … he lived and was here and that was good… wasn't it?

Feeling Benjy's shiver, Ben rested his arm lightly against the boy's shoulder and arm hoping it would give the boy physical and moral support without him feeling trapped in a hug. He understood his nephew was having trouble accepting someone with his dead father's looks and voice especially if memories were clicking into place or resurfacing. For him as a very young child he'd expected everyone to have an identical twin … playmate and had found it very strange they didn't and he and his twin were the odd ones out. And hoped that somehow, sometime the boy would not only come to terms with what happened but would also understand in some ways he would never lose his father **because** they'd been identical twins.

Knowing it was time and he would have to set the scene even if he didn't really want to think about it Ben took a breath and then keeping an eye on the boy as well as across the pond rather than on the people gathered round said. "In the early hours of Christmas day morning, in the lounge at Ocean Drive I was on my knees, hands cuffed behind my back and looking down the barrel of the gun held by Maria. She was standing in front of the bottom stair and beside her was…"

Benjy suddenly finding himself back there on the landing but knew vaguely he wasn't there interrupted saying. "Pedro, Maria's husband …mummy didn't like him or her … But mummy said we all had to play a game so we could be a family with Daddy again at Christmas. So I did what I was told … but Daddy died and Mummy is in jail."

Feeling lost he shivered and a tear run down his cheek then he heard a gentle familiar voice say "Its okay it was not your fault and you're safe. Just talk when you want to." and felt the other arm came round so he was in a gentle reassuring loose hug and knew his father was with him and not matter how strange this was, he could do it.

And so with this reassurance running through him Benjy slipped back into what he remembered and talked. "I woke from a bad dream feeling scared and found I was hugging a strange blue soft toy. …Then I remembered mummy wasn't in the next room and Daddy was dead as I had dreamt. … I didn't call out then because when I found out … Uncle Ben had killed daddy I hated him called him bad names … wanted him gone so he left me with Maria. … She'd tried to comfort me but I only wanted my mummy … then he came back and handed her a parcel before I could shout at him again. He said it was from mummy and daddy and they loved me so I could open and have them with me. He went out and didn't come back …I knew it was from them from the message on the outside. Crying … wanting them to be inside and this horrible dream over … I tore it open and found a funny soft blue elephant toy. Knew daddy had found it for me and mummy didn't mind me having it so loved it. … As I stroked it Maria told me it would be all right she would look after me, love me and Ben would find a new home before I woke in the morning. I nodded yes I wanted it … I hated him… wanted him gone… gone like daddy was. Hugging and curling round Bluey I could feel mummy and daddy and in spite of my tears went to sleep till that bad dream that woke me."

He looked down at the toy on his lap and gently smoothed it knowing it wasn't as bright as it used to be but he still loved it with all his heart and then carried on. "Bluey wasn't enough I wanted a hug … and needed the bathroom. Not knowing how long I'd been asleep I decided I to go to the top of the stairs before calling out. From there I could see if they were upstairs or downstairs and who to go to … I knew Maria might be in the studio bedroom I'd watched Uncle Ben put her clothes in there earlier and that reminded me he had been nice before I hated him."

Because he didn't want to face this bit but knew he had to he hesitated as he spoke. "Wal … walking … quietly towards the stairs … I could hear voices rather than words … and I didn't like Maria's tone … it made me feel knotty inside and then I went hot and cold as I heard Pedro's voice. …It should not have been there … he was from my other home … life … not this one. I crept on ready to run away if need be … then I saw two people downstairs and facing away from me. … I knew Maria by her hair the other had Pedro's voice but not his hair … it … it was a funny colour and sticking out curly. Like a clown's but he wasn't a clown and this wasn't a circus and … I was scared … they spoke … I understood words … and I saw Da" he hiccupped a sob and another tear ran down his face, it was real, he was there but his toy was in his hands so he twisted a bit and looked up and saw the face he knew and seeing it he corrected himself as he pleaded to the man. "Uncle Ben … I didn't know what to do…

"It's okay …you did the right thing by staying still and silent … if you'd moved and they saw you, both of us would have been killed." Ben said softly then rubbing his nephew's arm gently hoping he was reassuring him added. "It's over now … they can't hurt you and I'm okay ... just a bit forgetful at times."

Benjy nodded and leaning against the warm chest letting out the odd sob he carried on. "I couldn't help you … Pedro started to turn and I knew he would see me if he carried on … I couldn't move … You talked to him so he stopped turning … you sounded slightly odd at times. … Told him you knew they were going to kill … you but they were not to hurt me or Meg. … They should go back to Seattle and I should live with mummy's sister. … I didn't want to listen … I wanted to run get mummy and daddy to help you. … But I couldn't move …and they weren't there. … I didn't want you gone even though you hurt daddy … I wanted you to stay …. I was coming to tell you that but I couldn't … you were on your knees and I knew I had to go back to my room before they saw me …I'm sorry I said those things." and buried his face in the warm chest of the man he'd thought was dead and cried.

Ben gently shh'd Benjy again not to keep him quiet but to give him the gentle reassurance he needed, while remembering the panic that had swamped him as he'd seen the tiny figure on the landing and said softly. "I had to keep … Pedro's attention so he would not see you. I hoped you wouldn't understand it all and just go quietly back to your room and go to sleep. Think it was just adults talking …You should not have heard it all I'm sorry you did. I hoped by pointing out Maria should stay at home I might have over powered Pedro on the cliff top and then get the police to arrest her as soon as possible … before you woke up, but it didn't happen. When I realised she'd drugged you and was coming with us I thought of taking both of them with me over the cliff … I knew you would ring Antonio or Ricardo when you woke and found no one around. That didn't happen either the drug she'd given me helped stop that but I survived the fall and took a day getting back up and when I did I found a new friend."

Pointing Bob out hoping it would bring Benjy back to the present Ben carried on. "Bob over there with the crutches was driving a large truck, he didn't need them then. He found me sitting by the road totally confused and nearly unconscious … that's a deep sleep. He took me back to Helen's and Tim's home which is many many miles down south. They looked after me, when I woke a day or so later I was still ill and could not remember anything and they didn't know anything about me otherwise I would have got back sooner. Lots of things happened in the months between then and now but we are all safe now and that's all that matters." Knowing it had to be done he then added gently. "So, you made it back to your bedroom all right."

Benjy looked away from Bob who'd given him a slight smile and a nod as his uncle talked, he liked that smile as well as Helen's and knew his uncle had been helped just as he'd been helped by his new uncle and auntie. And choosing to look across the pond he carried on with his story in spite of the mixed feelings he was having. "I crept back to my bedroom forgetting about the bathroom … I wanted my bed and Bluey to be safe. I thought about ringing Uncle Ricardo as he was a policeman but the phone upstairs made a funny noise on the downstairs one and I couldn't get to the room without crossing the landing and might be seen. So … So … I got into bed tucked the blankets around me and hugged Bluey wanting to wake up from this very bad dream I was in …"

He gave a gentle hiccupy sob as he carried on. "I didn't want you dead …you found and gave me Bluey … my last present from mummy and daddy. … I didn't want to be with Maria ... I wanted to be with mummy's sister. I cried quietly so no one could hear but I could not sleep …I dried my tears on Bluey, hugged him and closed my eyes and asked Daddy to be kind to you because you'd been kind to me, … let me talk about him and all we'd done together. … I was thinking about the things we had done when I heard the door open.

Feeling scared I rubbed my eyes as I do in the mornings because she'd called my name as she walked towards the bed. As I sat up she sat on the bed and handed me a small glass of milk saying if I drank it I would not have anymore nightmares about daddy dying and wouldn't cry in my sleep and you'd be gone before I woke in the morning as I'd wanted." He sniffed and shifted his position on Ben's lap and carried on shakily. "I knew they'd killed you and now it was my turn in spite of what you said … so I drank it and hoped I would join you and daddy in heaven." He shivered violently then said forcefully. "I hate milk like that."

Suppressing his own shiver at memories of the basement and drugs and knowing what he'd put the boy through, Ben asked softly. "So how do you drink it now?"

Benjy shifted away from Ben's chest and looked at his uncle and then at Joan and Hank and then at his new parents and gave a hint of a smile and then said honestly. "I didn't know why I didn't like being given milk in a glass or when it had been put out on the table so I told them I was learning to do it for myself and they let me pour it from the carton and straight from the fridge."

Ben smiled at the way his nephew had got round a worry point and remembering earlier times said softly. "You never really liked it a bit warm anyway."

With the other memories swamping the painful ones Benjy answered. "No, you and Daddy always made sure it was really cold and flavoured. It was only her and mummy who'd let it get warm and plain."

"Well your father and I always liked it really cold and flavoured so why shouldn't you." Ben admitted and then brought him back to the story that needed to be finished by saying. "So you slept on and then woke in the morning."

Benjy nodded he didn't like this bit it was scary but wanted to tell it all and rested back against his uncle, feeling a little better knowing they didn't die but sad they couldn't bring daddy back and took a breath then carried on. "I lay waiting to see you and daddy together not sure how though … didn't like the idea of big wings I'd seen in pictures or sitting on clouds they disappeared when the sun shone. I didn't see daddy or you … I saw everything I'd seen and heard very clearly and understood most things … got confused by other things I'd done before with mummy and daddy … it was horrible. … Some things jumped out at me … I knew I had to stay with mummy's sister not Maria. … Knew I needed to make everyone understand you were dead not just gone away but I didn't know where you were … and I had to do that away from Maria. … I knew I'd lost mummy and daddy though mummy was alive and felt huge sadness. … Then I felt really funny, swimmy and everything felt heavy … I couldn't move my arms or legs and thought this was dying and thought of you and daddy and everything went squashy then dark."

He paused getting his breath back but didn't come out from things he could see and feel around and then said. "I think I slept because I opened my eyes feeling funny … had funny things … voices … pictures in my head and I didn't know why I felt like it. The only thing I really knew was Bluey was a present from mummy and daddy everything else was fuzzy. I was going to call out that I didn't feel well but Maria came into the room before I could. She sounded happy told me Santa had filled the sack under the tree and it was all right to get them as Ben had left as promised. Said she would look after me while mummy was in jail and we would find a new home and new friends. I couldn't tell her I felt funny or I didn't want to leave the room because I didn't understand it … I just knew I felt funny … when I didn't move she grabbed my hand and helped me out of bed.

As I went with her I couldn't stop thinking about the strange man who'd left toys for me. It sounded scary and I was suddenly glad Uncle Ben had told me the empty sack could stay under the tree and not at the end of the bed as she'd told me when we got the special sack. Coming to the top of the stairs I felt knotty in my tummy and it got worse with each stair we went down and I didn't know why. She asked me what was wrong so I told her I had a strange dream I didn't understand or remember properly and felt funny in my tummy. She gave me a hug and told me not to worry it was just the upset of what had happened and it would be fine once I started opening Santa's presents. Then later we would open ones from friends and family and do lots of other things. I wanted those presents first not the ones from a man I didn't know … but I couldn't tell her … I knew she wouldn't let me do it my way."

Feeling that knotty feeling again he hesitated but not really wanting to stop knowing he needed to get it over with shivered as he carried on. "I felt unhappy, hot and cold as I stood at the bottom of the stairs by the tree so grabbed the sack of toys and ran back to my room and slammed the door shut then leant against it. After a moment I felt a bit better… not so knotty … it wasn't a huge sack but I had knocked it on the stairs and dragged it on the floor … but nothing broke … not then … some did a couple of days later.

She didn't come after me so I put the sack on the bed with Bluey … and then we went through the sack unwrapping things … found some sweets I really liked so had one … and played with some of the toys … looked through a book and realised this strange man knew what I liked … knew me. It felt creepy because I didn't know him only he was special and other kids had toys from him so that was all right. Sometimes I felt happy but then funny again and I heard her call breakfast was ready so I left Bluey on guard and crept down. Still didn't like the stairs … felt knotty again and they gave me funny whispers in my mind I didn't understand. … Breakfast was on the table … that's tucked in between the stairs and the kitchen … she was already there so I sat down. … I meant to eat it honest I did. I'd only had a couple of sweets so I was hungry. … But I couldn't …"

Suddenly it was all around him and he could feel that horribly feeling, hoping if he carried on now he understood it all … **it** would go away and he'd be safe again so stuttered on. "Th there w was a glass of m milk … looking at me …a and I felt sick and a rush of funny things came into my head and I felt angry. So angry I got up yelling that I wasn't going to live with her and Pedro, I wanted to live with mummy's sister … and ran to my room … and … and found everything big I could move and slammed it against the door. … then … then I found Bluey hugged him and cried." and turning into Ben's chest he cried his heart out.

He then felt his uncle's hand gently rub his back heard the gentle shhing noises and the words it was okay to cry and he was safe it was all over now. He tried to take gulps of air but couldn't he was too close to his uncle's chest but didn't want to move … it was safe and warm … but then found he was gently moved slight so he could breath and yet stay close … safe and heard the soft gentle. "So you told her to leave you alone and she did?"

A hiccuppy "No" was accompanied by sniffles as Benjy then said. "She screamed and banged on the door … tried to open it but I sat against it … yelled at her the police would get her if she killed or hurt me … said I'd stay quiet if I lived with mummy's sister and she left us alone … went back to Seattle. She yelled she would tell them it was all just a silly child's nightmare and they would believe her not me."

He hesitated, found Bluey and stroked him for comfort and strength then still looking at his soft toy admitted timidly. "I told her to go to hell and then there was silence. … I was scared … I thought she'd gone to hell. I'd screamed at you and you went away … but then I remembered she'd … they'd killed you so I hadn't sent you away … they had ... and I wanted you back."

After feeling a very gentle kiss on his head Benjy looked up to see half a smile and very familiar dark eyes with a twinkle in them and knew he was safe and his uncle was not cross because of the bad word he'd used or what he'd done.

In spite of it all Ben couldn't help smiling and gave a soft chuckle as he rubbed his nephew's arm, the boy totally amazed him he must have been so scared and things could have gone so very wrong and then he said. "She left to find Pedro because you scared her. What did you do?"

Benjy sniffed and said softly slightly ashamed. "I felt really funny, couldn't stop crying and didn't think I could move the stuff away from the door so I went back to bed and curled round Bluey. I started feeling slightly better and I knew I couldn't get out the door because of the mess and furniture against it but then got scared because I remembered Pedro. I knew the window was no good there's a long way down to the ground but hoped I might see someone so I looked out. Saw Aunt Bette and banged on it a lot and yelled I couldn't get out and no one was in. She told me to go back to bed she'd ring Meg … I started to go back to bed and remembered you didn't want Meg hurt so I went back to tell her to get Ricardo but couldn't see her and I felt knotty and funny again. Crying I made it to the bed and Bluey … I was seeing funny faces and voices and wanted mummy and daddy or you … I think I slept again."

Through the shock of hearing it all and realising Benjy might not remember this side of the story and Ben would not know it, Meg somehow found her voice and said gently. "Bette rang saying you were hysterical and seemed to be alone in the house and stuck in your room. I knew Ben wasn't there as I'd just listened to his message to me so immediately rang Dad then Antonio and he rang Ricardo, we all made our own way over to Ocean Drive not wanting to waste time collecting each other. Antonio and I had keys, Bette used to have one but Maria used it a few days before and not given it back otherwise she would have gone in immediately. She didn't want to break a pane of glass in the door knowing it was difficult and might scare you even more. Instead she went outside and stood where she could see the window and the door in case you appeared at either but you didn't. You were a very brave boy Benjy."

Benjy sniffed and snuggled against his uncle's chest and said. "When I woke everything was fuzzy in my head and I wasn't too sure of anything. Sort of knew daddy and Ben were dead so could not help me and that I wanted to live with mummy's sister and not Maria but didn't know if I should know that. Then I heard people moving around the house calling out Maria and Ben's name and a few 'okay's not here' from different voices and I realised I knew them. I felt scared I didn't know why they were there and then I heard my name called through the door and I told them I wasn't coming out. The voices told me it was okay I was safe and I realised it was Meg and Antonio and I remembered things and told them there was stuff blocking the door. Meg said that was okay Hank would climb the ladder and get through the window and help me but I needed to lift the handle and open the window a crack first. I said I could that and did and he did."

Pausing for a moment as things adjusted in his mind Benjy then admitted. "He looked funny coming in the window but it was a nice funny … even so I grabbed Bluey and sat on my bed amongst the toys from Santa's sack. I was scared he might be cross at the mess I made and I didn't know what to say things were jumbled so I stayed silent. He looked at the mess and smiled then made room on the bed and sat with me … told me it was okay he would move the things and we'd go downstairs … and if I wanted I could go with him and Joan while things were sorted out. I nodded yes and he wiped my tears … cleared things and put the new toys and a few others I handed him into the sack. Then still holding Bluey I held his hand … but had to let go when going down the stairs … felt knotty and things were cloudy. But when I got to the bottom I got really scared and I grabbed his hand … he put the sack down and hugged me and told me it was okay.

But it wasn't … she was there with Pedro … but she called him Rodney said she'd just met him. He'd lost his funny hair had his own short hair, glasses and funny hair on his chin so it was Pedro … and I remembered things. Everyone was sort of angry and concerned … Ricardo had said something and Maria was yelling back that I could not be controlled I'd suddenly yelled horrible things at her made the mess downstairs then blocked the bedroom door. Said I'd had nightmares that night that might have lead to the yelling but she couldn't love me as she thought as I reminded her too much of daddy and the hurt."

He looked round and pointed to Jude and carried on. "He came talked to her and when he asked me what happened I stayed silent and clung onto Uncle Hank. Then he said I could go with Uncle Hank and Meg, which was good because I didn't like the house anymore. Meg took the sack of toys and things while Uncle Hank carried me and Bluey to the car."

Glad it was all over and wanting Benjy to think of better things Ben asked softly. "In spite of the sadness and feeling funny some of the time did you have a good day with Hank and Joan?"

Benjy moved away from his uncle and wiped his face then looked at him knowing it **was really **all over and smiled then admitted. "Yes … they said it was all right for me to be unhappy even silent but not the throw things. … I didn't need to because I felt safe with them and Auntie Joan gave me some special cakes. When they asked if I wanted to live mummy's sister as Uncle Ben wanted me to I felt you were looking after me and nodded yes. Uncle Hank was making a phone call when Casey came in and whispered your body hadn't been found on the beach so it was okay and everyone seemed happier. I stayed silent I didn't want to be sent away for making up stories.

We watched Meg at Venny's wedding, they wore long pretty dresses and walked towards Antonio and Michael then we went because Auntie Joan said it would take a long time and I would get fidgety. We made my room ready and she read me a story then went to the party and had cake. Though I played with my new toys I kept Bluey with me, he was special and no one made me talk … the doctor lady said I would talk in my own time. Later I met Claire and Josh and liked them … she's like mummy but softer and they were staying with us till the Judge said yes I could go with them.

I decided I would tell them everything when they took me to their home and see what they said. But then everyone was even happier you'd sent emails … and I knew no one would believe me ... I didn't know where they'd put you. She told them I'd made a mess downstairs and they believed her but I didn't I just left the table and ran upstairs … I couldn't bring daddy back not matter how much love him so I couldn't bring you back and someone said she might be leaving so I knew I could help mummy by keeping silent."

Ben gentle brushed his hand against Benjy's head and said softly. "So you shut it away and got on with your life as I and your father would have wanted you to do … be safe and happy."

Benjy nodded and then put Bluey to one side so he would not get squashed and turned into a hug wanting that security … knowing this was real and it was okay now. … Sort of … his daddy wasn't coming back and he missed him.

Ben put his arms round his nephew feeling the warmth also needing that grounding. He'd unknowingly put his nephew through hell and yet had kept him safe. Now they were together the past could be put to rest … and felt other memories of other hugs he'd had … first with the boy over the months he'd knew him as his son … and then those he'd had with his twin when they were children … and finally those he'd had with his parents. When it felt right he said gently. "Orange and cakes before the girls grab them." He felt a giggle from the boy and then gently released him knowing they would be all right eventually.

"That's unfair." Meg said softly with a slightly teary eyed grin, seeing them hug helped her sadness and anger at the whole thing and she guessed it helped the others as well.

Ben looked round at her seeing traces of shock and love and insisted. "But true. You took the last piece when we were eating with Jenny."

Meg huffed silently thinking; trust him to bring that up!

But Benjy didn't want to wait while the others talked or whatever … he wanted cake and there was a lot to choose from. He felt sad, tired but better now he told his uncle his story … and part of that nightmare hadn't come true … his uncle was alive though he felt a bit knotty if he looked at him too much. He looked so much like daddy and felt like daddy … but he had killed his daddy … and yet he was part of daddy as identical twins were. He'd been told all about identical twins and it had been nice in a strange way to feel his daddy in his uncle. He also liked his new aunty and uncle and that mummy wouldn't worry so much about him now he'd told his story and those cakes really looked yummy if only he could decide which one to have first … perhaps if he took a bite from each… … …


	64. Chapter 64

Huge thanks Dakota.

Glad to say this chapter behaved ... I think.

Hope you all enjoy it and any comments are welcome.

**Chapter 64**

Helen couldn't help smiling as she uncovered the cakes seeing Benjy move in their direction. There was a quick glance from him which she answered with a nod to tell him it was okay this time and then she sat back to watch him. He fascinated her as a mother and professionally. She knew children could do that … hide things away … react way beyond their years and then just turn off when need be ... like now ... from a small boy reliving horrible memories to a curious one who's tummy needed filling with delicious cakes. And the switch was done in a moment … a blink of an eye or memory brought back by the sight the cakes. Just like his uncle by reports and by the way he'd gone to sleep … one moment awake the next a deep sleep.

She also knew it wasn't over yet for either of them … and the boy would need another gentle session at least … hopefully with her as he seemed happy with them if not then someone he could trust … she'd have to find out if he had any sessions with anyone. … In fact she needed to find out more about him and as Josh and Claire seemed okay that should not be too hard and there was Hank and Joan to help fill in as well. They would need to find out if that tape would be enough for Jude and the Judge but that could be done by a phone call later today or tomorrow. For now though it seemed as if just by being here in the group they all could … would get to know one another better … and Benjy might be able to be more comfortable seeing his uncle … get to understand the differences in the twins and settle those nightmares even possibly accept Ben's part in Derek's death if he hadn't already done so. He would also find out that his questions when they came would be answered honestly and more importantly perhaps that he can leave this garden and come back when **he** wanted … if **he** wanted to … rather than if **they** wanted him to.

Half watching a slice of a different cake join the nibbled ones on the plate she wondered if Benjy had sensed from a very early age it wasn't wise to show his parents or anyone else just how much he understood. She doubted it was through fear though … he'd just pick up their cunning and subconsciously acted on it ... and that's what helped him Christmas morning. She doubted him running out on to the beach instead of the bedroom would have worked; it would have added weight to the hysterical kid story Maria would have made up. Or perhaps he'd always had that unconscious need to have all the pieces in place before acting … that meant not speaking till he could make sounds and action meet his needs … his reading and writing would come out nearly correct rather than stutters and scrawls and possibly shyness when first being in strange places with strange people. All that would make everyone think he wasn't very bright and if he'd started remembering things about 'that' morning well he'd wait till he felt secure and had the whole picture as he did now.

She knew one thing, whichever way the lad was programmed Claire and Josh had their hands full … those silences everyone has could be just that or mean something extra was going on in that young head of his. And they would just have to build on the trust they have now and not start questioning him or second guessing him because of what they now know … be content to wait and see … let him open up to them. Or just the odd natural question because not only was he intelligent he's a savvy kid with his uncle's instincts for survival and ability to hit back but what of his father's…

"You just watching those cakes disappear for the fun it or to prove you're not dying for one Sis?"

Helen quickly came out of her thoughts hearing her brother's pointed tease and realised some more cakes had walked not only onto the boy's plate but Tim's and most likely Ben's as well. Seeing Bob's silent plea for cake before he got too old to eat she sighed knowing he had a point and was at a disadvantage with his knee brace. Then chuckled as she snagged a plate and enough for the two of them and moved over to him so they could talk without disturbing nephew and uncle and wasn't surprised when her husband joined them.

Bob smiled his thanks taking the offered cake, he'd hoped for both slices but seeing his sister take the other one said quietly so as not to draw attention to themselves. "You've got admit the kid's good … wish I could have been there … seen it." at his sister's expression he amended. "Her really. ... None of us thought Benjy actually drove her away … we all thought it was the after affects of Derek and a child's tantrum. … Pity the kid kept quiet ... not that I blame him … he's right no one would have believed him. Mind you if he carried on enough times to enough people perhaps one of them might have got a niggling thought it might be true." He gave a sigh and carried on with admiration. "Think of it though, he drops a clanger and manages to turn it round and survives." and took a mouthful of cake.

Helen smiled knowing how he felt and truthfully it would have been interesting to have been there that morning. Been the fly on the wall … even better if none of this had happened and the boy had a whole family … a mum and dad to be proud of with loving uncles and aunts on the side. But at least he had one of sorts and said softly to her brother. "You found Ben and the rest is history and now it's a better future for all of us."

Seeing Tim's nod of support but feeling the need to mull things over out loud to get them out his system Bob said softly. "True. But there's still that 'what if' regarding that morning … supposing the group hadn't turned up when they did or if Aunt Bette stayed inside. Would Benjy have disappeared over the cliff and his name added to emails they sent or would he have been a body in the lounge and the so called 'real' reason for Ben's disappearance … thereby stopping the need for emails and would misdirect the police. **Mind you **… the result of the hunt for the car might have proved interesting considering the tracking device and the Seattle car being next to it.

I can guess their cover story would've been a tearful wasn't gone for more than a couple minutes to get air and Ben must have slipped in … and the mess would prove either the boy struggled or Ben went berserk before running away. It's even possible that Bette waiting outside prevented the couple slipping in that way and doing it and so they had to rely on their joint silent pressure on the boy and of course getting her cover story with any dramatics in first."

Jude joined the group so he could get the tape from Tim and hearing Bob's comments said with feeling. "You know I didn't think this case could take another twist **but** guess I should have known better." At Helen's smile of agreement he took the tape from Tim and added. "Well, its back to the station to add to that paper mountain of theirs **and** that means a trip to the hospital for **you** young man." deliberately looking at Bob at the end to make his point.

The man in question had just taken another mouthful of cake and looked dolefully back at him as he slowly started to chew.

Jude smiled at the silent plea and felt some of the tension/anger slip away and sitting down with the group reached across to the tray and took a slice of cake saying in a huff to emphasize that this was really soo painful to do. "Okay cake and orange. **But** then we **go**. **I** don't want Tyus chasing me because you aren't there in time." Hoping Bob wouldn't point out there wasn't actually a time to be there he would be fitted in as soon as he came in.

Knowing he'd won one point Bob relaxed and enjoyed eating his cake, and Jude instead of taking a bite from his cake turned his attention to Helen saying. "I'm going to let the Chief and the DA hear the tape and hope they throw the book at them ... it was minus a few chapters but I don't think it will be after this though.At the press conference we'll explain the charges including the possible murder charge regarding the car crash so the whole story comes out in one go rather than dribs and drabs. There will also be certain restrictions regarding press and tv coverage for everyone involved.I was wondering though whether its rape within marriage or just bigamy for both couples."

Helen could understand his thinking and replied almost immediately. "I think bigamy for both of them. Rape always has the stigma of violence and that could be transferred to the children's birth and hurt them, they got enough to contend with. As far as we know no violence was attached to either marriage **but **if you get hard evidence then go for rape charge and back it up with full support for her and children. In this case I believe **all** the victims need to know the love they felt and gave was real … and it is Maria and Pedro who lived the lies. **And** if you were thinking the threat of rape charges would make Maria and Pedro roll over and give guilty pleas then forget it … it's possible it could feed their egos."

Jude nodded and took a bite of cake and glancing over at the group looking out across the pond as they silently tucked into their cakes decided they had the right idea so finished his piece and had a drink before commenting. "They did well, do you think it matters who he sees when he looks at Ben."

Helen thought for a moment then said. "I suspect he knows the difference but he's on a bit of a high the relief his uncle's alive and this hidden nightmare's has come out, with the odd swing of the deep sadness knowing his father is really dead and will not come back. Not to mention coming back to Sunset Beach, seeing Hank and Joan again and finding all these strangers around has added anything of course." She shrugged adding. "We'll just have to watch out when reality kicks back in and then we'll find out how he views us and Ben. To be honest I need time to really asses him but I think he's like his uncle and has many layers and locks things away. He needs to know he can have his own space so a break this afternoon will be good and may be the two of them visiting Derek's grave together might help them move on but that's for tomorrow or a date in the future. For now though he's kid stuffing himself with delicious cakes and looking across a pond."

She paused just long enough to get her thoughts onto another track and then continued with a valid point they had all tucked away. "Don't forget we don't know how stable Ben is … he could blackout at anytime or just sleep it off when it's quiet this afternoon or he'll garden and not do it till tonight … I really don't know nor does he I suspect. Whatever way it happens he will most probably wake up a silent stranger again ... Sy's taken some of quick photos but I think we'll need a copy of that tape in case we need to play it to him as proof it happened. I hope we don't have to do that … we can get away with a few gentle words and then talk through his feelings about it. If not … the guilt he's feeling now will get deeper each time he hears the tape and that won't be good. What he needs to do is to stays steady and they **both** build up some good memories now, and the photos of them would enable us to naturally jump the bad bit and so stop the cycle from happening."

Jude nodded realising he'd actually forgotten Ben was so fragile and that everything was happening so quickly. And as he signed the evidence bag with the tape in he knew he'd get it copied under supervision and was surprised by Helen's firm added comment. "Now about Tess."

Looking up he said with an edge. "What about her, she's made her deal."

Helen nodded and said gentle so as not to get his back up any further. "Part of the reason Benjy stayed silent was to protect her perhaps she was doing the same for him. We don't know how willingly Tess signed that orginal custody form and she might hold the key as to why Derek turned against Ben. She did wrong I've no doubt about that and she's paying for it, **but** we've got to find out the truth before Maria and Pedro start putting their version around. Tell her there will not be further charges against her or restrictions about seeing Benjy. Whispers can hurt him and he needs to know the truth. Whether he was born through love and was not part of Derek and Tess's schemes or he was born as part of their scheme. If it's the latter then we need to tell it to him in the right manner. We can't fob off his questions it's going to be out there in the media no matter what happens. He's bright and will suss out anyone telling him lies to hide the truth and that could cause things to fester and I'll be warning Claire and Josh about it as well."

Jude weighed it up sighed then said softly. "You think he could turn like Derek did."

Helen gave a little sigh. "We both know anyone can kill deliberately or accidentally if pushed hard enough and Benjy will have to live with that question mark … that assumption all his life just a Ben has to. That's why it's important that whenever he asks he's told the truth and if he sees Ben coping with it he should be able to as well. From what I gather Derek's killings were because he felt trapped by the situation or people and I would say from what little I know Benjy he's more like his uncle. The boy didn't hit out at Maria physically when he realised he was in a tight corner, he ran to where he felt safe and gave himself a way out even if he didn't understand it at the time. And I hate say this but he's not one half of a twin like Ben is … was … so he can hold on to that thought … that difference. What everyone has to do is to show him he is trusted … he is just another little lad growing up from broken home. I hope Josh and Claire will let me talk to him while he's here and I can keep in touch with him, if not then someone they trust back home sees him so he's got someone outside the family to go to and talk to."

Jude nodded and said. "Okay I'll have words with the Judge before I see Tess now I will gather my troops and go. What about Antonio, think he should stay or not … he came with me."

Helen glanced over at Antonio who was talking to her daughter and Patrick then said. "Let him stay if he want to and you tell Ricardo and Carmen what's happened. Also tell Carmen I would like to see her tomorrow morning, but do it gently. Antonio is worried about her and I would be after this lot. Ring me if she or Ricardo takes this very badly and I'll come over with Antonio, Tim can stay here and look after things.

Claire told me that Maria sent Benjy a card and he angrily tore it up, I'm guessing that was a gentle reminder she could get to him so he should still stay silent. I'm wondering if he'd closed down on it before he left here then that card might have started to open things up and Hank's arrival opened it a bit more till everything came back as he saw Ben coming towards him."

Jude thought for a moment and realising the lad might need closure of a different kind asked. "Do you think Benjy would go to court if it came to that and get complete closure that way?"

Tim, Bob and Helen smiled but it was Helen who said softly seeing the picture in her mind. "Be their lawyer's worst nightmare."

Picturing Benjy dressed up and looking doleful Jude chuckled and admitted. "Sort of."

Knowing Tim would stay silent and letting his sister think about it Bob suggested quietly. "Just let those two hear the tape it without actually saying he will take the stand. It should knock them for six. It's very powerful; the natural pain and fear of the time is there but so is the strength of the boy. I must admit he would be good on the stand no Judge is going to allow him to be pressured by a lawyer and if Ben gave his evidence before him they will know the jury will hang them out to dry. Even if Ben couldn't give evidence they would understand the picture you are painting."

Seeing Helen's nod of agreement Jude mulled over the idea of how to let them hear the tapes and knew he'd see the Judge first and said. "I'll put that idea and how to do it to the DA and Judge covering the case and I doubt anything will be done today. Tell Ben and the others what I'm going to do and ring me if they object I'll be contactable at all times and I reckon that news conference will be late morning to lunchtime if you want to watch or record it."

Getting up Jude turned his attention to the other group nearby and said. "Patrick, I'm going to need you." seeing his friend's expression he added. "You can come back later now you know the way and got a phone number. Antonio you stay as long as you want I'll explain things to Ricardo and Carmen, when you are ready to go to the Mission an officer from gate will drive you and that applies to you Sy if you want to come into town." turning his attention back to Helen he added. "The officers will stay to keep any unwanted people away from you and give you any help you might need. Bob are you coming?"

Helen put a hand on Jude's arm and said. "If you've got time, come back and talk to Ben. We're expecting Betsy back around four and she's likely to be a chattering whirlwind if everything went all right or a right sulky puss if it didn't. There might be a meet and greet between the children if Benjy comes back as well. Whatever happens, you can rescue us."

Jude reckoned that would be early evening rather than during the happenings, and understood she meant not only as a police officer but as a friend or the working partner he might have been … was technically. Knew he could do that … wanted to do that and smiled as he thought of Betsy tornado in the corridor of the police station and nodded. Then he looked over at Bob again.

Bob knew **that** look he was being given and gathering his crutches together with a sigh and said. "Guess I'd better come quietly then."

With his sister's gentle chuckle ringing in his ears he got up, got the creeks out of his system and the right gears to go so he would walk away and not stumble. With the others getting up around him he took a step away from them saying firmly. "I'm **not** missing the Betsy and Benjy meeting for anything."

Hearing it Tim chuckled saying softly. "You might not have a say in the matter. If they are wise they will keep you there."

"No No way." Bob said firmly as he followed Jude and started to think of the other things Helen wanted him to pass on to Jude … anything to take his mind off that dread appointment and all it's repercussions now he **knew **he was not getting out of it.

oxoxo

Sitting by the pond Ben was wondering if he was going to disappear under a heap of crumbs as Benjy finished his third slice and gently stopped the boy from having another one with a quiet. "Drink and walk the rest can wait."

Benjy looked at his uncle heard the gentle order and nodded, though he was sure that slice was just asking to be eaten by him and no one else … and it was the raspberry slice which was different from the others he'd tried … and accepted the glass of orange glad it wasn't milk...

Ben finished his cake realising that had been his fourth and wouldn't need too much lunch, which was a pity as Jenny's parents were providing it in the empty café. But on the other hand it was still early yet so he might be hungry by then. Those thoughts brought waves of anxiety into his mind … they didn't know numbers … who would stay who would go … he knew staff would need feeding and so would the officers knowing Jenny … but the others with them. Jude wouldn't … and he wouldn't blame Benjy if he left now. … The telling was all over … the secret nightmare out in the open … and he would leave permanently because it was **all **too much … go back to his new life and carry on from there. … Or would he go and come back later today or another day … once the dust had settled. Would it settle and felt his mind spiralling into a darker mood of guilt about it all and felt the dark edges that he'd managed to push away earlier come back with more force. … He mentally pushed back … telling himself **he** wouldn't black out now … **he** couldn't … painful as this was **he** didn't want to lose it … didn't want to frighten the boy … or the others … **he'd** have to hang on … get into the lighter mood for everyone's sake …

The gentle knocking against his hand of Benjy's empty glass brought Ben back to the present through the dark mood though it was on the edge. Concentrating on putting the glass on the tray and then starting to ease Benjy to one side he said gently. "It's time to move." hoping that would help his mood ... help the darkness stay away.

Benjy got up and stood beside his uncle and glancing around took stock of everything and where he was and let the tiny shivers run through him as it all dropped into place.

With the feeling coming back into his legs Ben got up then brushed the rest of the crumbs off and glancing round he noticed Meg was doing the same and everyone else milling around with Jude, Patrick and Bob near the gate.

Meg had noticed Ben's mood spiral down and wasn't surprised her mood was up and down and as she finished brushing the crumbs away she couldn't help her chuckle and said. "You never know the ducks might like them."

Ben looked at her hearing her gentle tease and support, felt it wash over him and feeling slightly better smiled then glanced at Benjy and saw his slight smile, knew it had helped him and glanced towards the other group where Clarie, Josh and her parents were and knew what he had to do so looked back at Meg and said quietly. "You coming?"

"For protection?" Meg said gently.

He smiled and admitted. "Sort of but I thought I should meet Benjy's folks first."

Hearing this, things clicked in Benjy's mind so he grabbed Ben's hand saying. "Uncle Josh and Auntie Claire are nice and he can get my boat then we can sail it on the pond."

Ben looked Benjy knowing this was a different child to the one he'd started to get to know …though in the few quiet 'getting to know you' trips they had he'd sensed they were alike … needed to keep things close till they knew all sides. So he had tucked that knowledge away and had made sure he gave the child space and love … And nodded his answer he would go with him. Glancing at Meg he held out his free hand and smiled as she took it … she grounded him and his thoughts and mood lifted even more.

oxoxo

As the group of visitors had eaten their cakes they started to come to terms with it all and knew there was more to come. They also realised a wrong word or action from them could shatter the tranquil scene going on before them. Seeing people were on the move they got up wondering what to do but knowing no matter however much that pull of love tugged on them they wouldn't go blindly in and reassure their respective loved ones with words and hugs till the time was right.

Starting to walk towards them Ben noticed just how much Claire looked like Tess and finding it unsettling told himself off. … He was not like Derek therefore she needn't be like Tess and Benjy was obviously well looked after … loved by them …

With one thing on his mind Benjy released his uncle's hand and ran over to the person he wanted and said in a rush "Uncle Josh can you get the boat please so we can sail it across the pond."

Josh smiled nodded then not wanting it to look like a snub he glanced at Ben saying. "It's nice to meet you, but I'd better get it otherwise there will be no peace." Then back to Benjy knowing it would make things easier for everyone asked. "Are you coming with me?"

Benjy looked at the group of adults looking at each other and nodded reckoning getting the boat would be much more fun than waiting here.

Reading Benjy's expression Ben said quickly to Josh. "Thank you for looking after Benjy I'm glad he's happy with you. I hope you'll stay for lunch Jenny and her parents will be doing it in the café and there's a play area as well."

Josh knew that was awhile yet but liked the idea so nodded and waved his acceptance as Benjy was already gently trying to pull him towards the gate.

Remembering how they came, Hank called out "The Officer's got the keys." and got a nod of acknowledgment as one went off at a run and the other a fast walk to keep up.

Knowing the two were out of hearing Ben carried on to the group. "I know it's unsettling for Benjy being around me but I hope he will accept me in time. Later this afternoon Helen's adopted niece will be coming back here and I was hoping they might meet up **but** only if he wants to and it's convenient for you of course."

Hank and Joan nodded but kept silent seeing Ben was really talking to Claire who stayed silent for the moment.

Though shocked by the revelations Claire had been watching Ben and Benjy together, seen the way they'd communicated and the love and support through the harrowing tale. Understood the boy's recent moods and wished they could have helped him earlier ... hoped his trust in them had and would help him and remembered the teacher's comment that his writing and reading weren't quick enough for his brain. They'd always discussed things with him and would do so but be careful not to take his intelligence for granted and let him be the little lad he was. As for the uncle … well she could see the charm and he was handsome and obviously loved Meg from the glances he gave her as they walked towards them and there was a lot of love and support coming from her. And if Derek being an identical twin had been like Ben then she understood why her sister loved him and wished Tess had stopped playing the games that had lead to their own separation and instead had allowed them to be a happy family.

Hearing Ben's greeting and words a whisper of worry crossed her mind that he would reclaim Benjy now but then she remembered he'd made the suggestion in the first place before all hell broke lose so why change it now and replied calming her fear. "He seems happy at the moment and lunch would be nice but I think after that we should go back with Hank and Joan to unpack and let him rest and then come back later. This is very strange for all of us and we don't want to put a strain on you either, so you must say if at any time you feel you need space and we will go."

Hearing the genuine concern in her voice and seeing it in her face Ben felt more at ease and said. "Thank you. I'm sorry all this must have come as a shock."

Claire smiled at his concern and took the opening to start telling him about their home and life. "Yes it is a bit and it explains a lot about his recent mood, the good thing is you and he are safe. I hadn't heard from Tess for ages but Benjy is a lovely lad and we weren't doing much Christmas day. We live in a three bedroom house so we had accommodation and Josh is a partner in a printing business and I help out… …

Feeling this needed to be one to one Meg slipped her hand out of Ben's and stepped away from his side. As he'd not quietly stop her she went over to her parents who'd also stepped away and quietly hugged them and gave them reassurances and got them back. Satisfied the meet and greet didn't need their company and everything would change once Benjy came back Helen lead her group round the garden.

oxoxo

As Benjy ran back to them both groups had joined up and were intermingling discussing everyday things and the garden and feeling relaxed. Ben had had a quick hug and update about Sara and Casey from Joan, braved Hank with a nod of understanding and got one back so both knew 'that' talk would come later for now they kept to business. Shock Wave and Sunset Sisters and Meg decided she might go back in a few days part time rather than full time staff and Sara permitting and Ben would keep things as he'd left them though with Hank acting as go between when necessary. When they talked Ben knew the only place he might want to go would be the Mission anything else brought those dark edges creeping back …

Getting to his goal Benjy tugged hard on Ben's hand and demanded rather than asked. "Can we do it now?"

Hearing his tone Ben nodded then looked at Josh as Benjy wasn't carrying anything.

Josh was within handing over distance now so he got the boat out from his protective hold saying. "He wants you to carry it and launch it. I was told to walk very carefully and not to trip up." Because of Josh's words and tone Ben's was not the only gentle chuckle to be heard.

Taking the boat from Josh Ben was suddenly awash with certain memories and as soon as they'd settled a bit he looked down at Benjy. Recognising the look the boy was giving him Ben carefully crouched down and asked softly. "Do you know who gave you this boat?"

The action and the gentleness in Ben's voice alerted the group that there was something special going on between the two, and the possible reason clicked with some of them making them slightly anxious as to the outcome.

Even with his intelligence Benjy couldn't remember definite dates but once he knew the truth he'd realised certain things about his daddy and now things had been stirred up again and memories woken up afresh he looked back at his uncle and answered his tone telling everyone the love he felt. "You gave it me when I thought you were daddy and we played with it on the beach and in the large rock pools. Daddy did the same and also put string on it so we wouldn't lose it and told me it was special and should not be lost, broken or left behind."

In spite of the emotions and knot in his throat Ben said gently. "So it is and those times will always be remembered with love by you and we'll enjoy the new ones now."

As Benjy nodded Ben got up carefully then carrying the boat took he Benjy's free hand then walking as they walked towards the pond added gently. "And they will be added to the ones you've had and will have with Josh and Claire … …

Full of emotion and thinking of all the 'if only's' the group stayed put and silent till Claire asked with a catch in her throat. "Should we follow?"

Helen smiled as she'd been wondering the same thing and they both were interrupted by a child's impatient call of "Are you coming!"

"Well, I think you have your answer." Helen exclaimed softly and as everyone else started to make their way back towards the pond she added. "I expect Meg will stay with them but we can leave them in peace in a while then Tim and I will explain everything that's been going on."


	65. Chapter 65

**Chapter 65**

In the quiet of the early evening sitting out side the chalet looking across the garden Tim and Bob were enjoying cups of tea and silent thoughts. That is till hearing Helen come to join them Tim could not resist commenting softly. "And the condemned man enjoys his last cup of tea."

Putting the cup down Bob sighed and then giving his brother in law a withering look exclaimed "You know … I was **really** enjoying that."

Totally unabashed by Bob's look and tone Tim smiled and then carried on in a slightly mystified tone. "I still don't know how you managed it. Knowing your history **they** should have knocked you out and done it there and then. But **noo** they not only let you go they even got you a special taxi."

Bob huffed in disgust at his brother in law's tone and came back at him immediately. "**They** **knew** how important this afternoon was to me." And adding a touch of cockiness in his tone added the bit he hadn't told them before. "In any case I promised **you** would take me in first thing as **you** were going to have a sneak look around. Tyus and the specialist agreed that was fine."

Shrugging off Tim's dark looks of disgust he carried on smoothly. "**So** as you rightly said I'm having my last cup of tea and no breakfast in the morning. I also told them you and Helen would look after me when I'm discharged, **which** will be as **sooon** as possible after the deed has been done."

Helen seeing her husband was getting ready for a new cutting remark and knowing this kind of banter could go on for hours and get messy verbally looked at him and butted in gently. "Sweetheart anymore and you will be out on the lawn tonight."

Knowing exactly how far he could go before either getting 'killed' or pushed out Tim looked suitably doleful and huffed good heartedly. "Only trying to get rid of his nerves **dear**." then added in a very much 'put-upon' tone. "And now I shall be shown round with the staff on their best behaviour instead of seeing how things really happen."

At Bob's smirk and nod he turned back to Helen who'd sat down with them and asked. "Any news?" guessing there had to be as she'd been what seemed like ages and she wouldn't have butted in to stop the fun if there hadn't.

She chuckled at their antics and said in the right tone. "Ahh poor hard done by husband, never mind you'll soon be amongst the workers finding out **exactly** how things are done if Tyus has his way."

Pausing as her husband shook his head with a smile …both knew a provisional start was in three days time, providing their last hospital gave good reports, they both knew it would so she carried on in a serious tone. "And yes the extended families are busy and fine sends love and hugs of good luck for tomorrow Bob and cards will come in due course. Then once their packing and unpacking and our packing has been done those two love birds will dump said kids on capable grandparents and schools so they can come up for a 'look see' and recovery few days. They will also bring a few more essentials so you never know it could be before Jenny and her family go but no promises and if necessary they can sleep in the new trailer … after all someone's got to try it out now we've got it." She knew she wasn't going to travel far for a while not only because of finding Ben but because she'd had enough of it.

Tim and Bob smothered any comments but did smiled at each other knowing 'a few essentials' could mean a large truck load it Tony had one or could borrow one. And wondering just how long it would be before Bert would revert to threat of jailing the kids now the family were living with him.

Helen refused to bite and ignored their smiles knowing she'd get her payback from at least one in a moment and realised with a jolt she … they wouldn't see their old home as it used to be again and they'd already started their new life. In fact gone from not having one to having one in two days and carried on her report from home in a surprisingly steady voice. "Earliest possible start date for work is November but that's assuming all the paper work is done, the identical underground pipe work is sorted out and the other site cleared and boys moved out. If you add in the weather and it might not be done till Spring. But at least our family home is safe and it's got somewhere to go now. They said they will be packing and bracing it, which sounds painful and we'll get a full report with photos in the post … I've given them the garden centre as the address." Then she glanced at her brother and with a touch of innocence added softly. "Oh yes Tony wants to know if Bruno should be crated and stored, sent special delivery or come up with them when they visit."

Bob looked horrified and exclaimed. "**No.** There's no room here!"

Helen chuckled and not letting her brother off the hook added. "We've got the other chalets, not to mention the house when Jenny's moved out **and** Betsy will want him here."

He knew his sister was really wicked and he was sunk before he started …Betsy loved that huge bear his so called workmates gave him the first time he did his knee in and she'd not had him for months and would need it now. Funnily enough he liked the bear for the same reason Betsy did … though he'd not admit it to anyone … it had a peaceful presence … wouldn't complain if you just wanted to sit beside him or gently lean against him. But not at the moment and hoped his so called mates wouldn't give him another one big 'get well' present. Wishes, cards, phone calls yes … present no … trouble was they **knew** about his operation so anything could turn up. He'd hoped to keep it quiet but he'd had to talk to his boss this afternoon about pending sick leave and cover as well as his computer. That of course had led on to a small reprimand about leaving the thing in the van and that it was going under the knife later and would be on sick leave till he came back to cuddle it and complete it's recover programme. Yeah he'd always wondered about his boss's sense of humour and whose bright idea the bear had been in the first place … And knowing his sister and brother they'd probably booked the bear's seat in the truck before the phone went down so conceded with a huff."They'd better drive the thing up here she'll hate the idea of it being nailed in a box and being stored or being chucked around by post **but** I'm not having it in my room now or in the future." then added softly, hopefully. "I will have a room won't I?"

Helen smiled at his expression and nodded; they would never turn him away and added. "I'll ask if someone can sneak a photo of it when it's in the car or truck.

Bob smiled remembering some of the looks he'd got as it sat beside him on the long drive down and added quickly so Tim could not sneak in the quick remark that he could see coming. "Was there a second call?"

Helen took the hint but said first in a gentle sisterly tone knowing he would understand. "It will be all right." Seeing his slight nod that the reassurance was accepted and knowing her husband understood her brother's fears so wouldn't take advantage carried on in a more normal tone. "Yes from Jude, it must have been on automatic ring back as I'd just disconnected from the other call. But I'm not sure whether it can be classed as good news though."

Both men became serious and looked at her expectantly as she carried on. "The specialised team managed to get down to the car in the ravine and there was a body in it. They are hoping to bring both up tonight or the remains of the body at least."

Tim and Bob sighed with disappointment, they'd all been hoping it was going to be a dresser's dummy and the undergrowth growing around it and the car had disguised the truth.

Helen nodded in agreement and carried on bringing them up to date. "They reckon the man must have been targeted to get the right body size and hair colour etc, if he didn't look right then someone would have gone down to make sure Rodney wasn't in the car as a willing or unwilling passenger dead or injured. Examining the wreckage they found a bag had been stuffed behind the front seats, it was waterproof and sealed and it contained the man's clothes and belongings including an id card."

Bob could not stop his short low whistle and exclamation. "He was **that **confident!"

Helen nodded and explained a reason why. "Yes well, itwas his past relatives who'd made the ravine a grave site in the first place. A son and child went over in a horse and trap accident further along and it was too dangerous to bring them up just to bury them. So you can see why he would expect them to leave the car and body down there.Even if they had gone down and found out about the swap it would not have got anyone very far unless of course they thought the fishing boat incident was a coincidence too far. Paul's found some cryptic notes on Rodney's computer that might refer to that day, but it will take a while to actually translate as it's not a plain … I killed him, changed clothes put him in the car and chucked him in the ravine. And Jude's not taking the id for granted either in case it was stolen by the man or it's another twist of Rodney's."

Bob butted in gently. "He was murdered then."

Helen sighed. "Yes. They are doing an autopsy on the remains tomorrow to confirm but as they've found evidence of a fatal gunshot wound in the heart area and a broken neck they are assuming murder."

Tim said a quiet "sorry" as the others looked at him; he couldn't help his soft snort and Bob smiled in sympathy knowing they'd no doubt all had the same picture in their minds. And it meant no disrespect to the victim … it was because they'd all come across horror in one form or another and it was their way of releasing tension and coming to immediate terms with things.

Helen nodded her understanding and said. "Yeah Jude said 'overkill' when he was told. They hope the autopsy will tell them which came first but won't hold their breaths waiting considering the state of the remains. They'll look for a bullet as well hoping it will be a definite link to Rodney so he can't claim he found the body on the side of the road and used it. As you can guess they've finger printed everything those will be checked through the system in the morning. Apparently their Mayor has asked if no family is found the man be buried in the local churchyard so they know he's safe and looked after. The request has the backing of both families concerned so Jude thinks it will be accepted. On a happier note the wedding went off well and the children have been adopted and names changed and there was large turn out with support for all families concerned. Franscia is sending some photos of the wedding up to Jude in case we want Ben to see them and I think we should send some down to her so she can see he's all right."

Tim's nod and quiet comment. "It might help him but I doubt there'd be a need for any other contact between them." didn't interrupt her carrying on.

"By checking the name on the id card, they've found out that person wasn't from that area and was reported missing and is assumed to be a traveller as he has wandered off a couple of times before. In view of the state of the body they will get DNA and dental details before making contact with any family. That will of course take time and if they don't match up then they will do a face reconstruction and check it out through all channels." She gave a sigh as she's come to what she was really in two minds about and admitted. "I'm wondering just how much to tell Ben and when."

Bob said without hesitation. "All of it and as it comes out, you know how it will sound to him if we do it all in one finished lump of facts and we agreed no white lies for his or our comfort. But I take your point about timing so if he doesn't ask tonight we'll tell him tomorrow or at least before he goes out and about or has visitors or watches tv or listens to the radio. No one can stop it coming out.

Anyway he already suspects a murder has taken place and it could have been a traveller. He's been on the road so knows how vulnerable someone is out there and that's why he said he would deal with the burial. He knows he was going to be part of his twin's and the other cover up and he could have been an accidental death at anytime in the past months and either way **no one** he loves or respects and that would include us would have been any wiser about what had happened."

Helen shivered at that reminder and spoke her fears. "I don't want it to become a crusade with him if they can't find the man's true identity or he suffers more guilt should they find there's been another murder or assault further down the line."

Feeling he understood Ben better now Bob answered with certainty. "It won't … he knows it's one step away from his side of the story but the fact Jude is willing to hunt for the id and the Mayor wants the body to be given a home there **will **be enough for him. In spite of everything, Ben's had a good day today. He knows the past is being cleared up safely and that Meg is staying with him, also the weight is off Benjy's mind and he's settled with new parents. **So**, what about the Rodney and Maria have they rolled over yet?"

Helen sighed hoping he was right and carried on. "No they are still staying silent. And all they've been told is to expect more charges about Rodney's disappearance tomorrow. The Judge is going with yours and Jude's idea so that's when they will know all the charges and hopefully that and the lawyers advice it's a lost cause will make them roll over. The Seattle police are or will be questioning and charging the other couple with accessory after the fact as they must have known about the body especially as she was in town afterwards and she must have had contact with her husband before joining them in Seattle."

Then turning her mind away from the dark places it was sliding into added. "Jude said Sy is staying in town tonight, same hotel but not room as Patrick. I told him that was fine she's old enough to know what she wants." At her husband's raised eyebrows she huffed. "You know **exactly** what I mean." and then chuckled at how that sounded and added with the softness of a mother's love. "They did look at ease in each other's company, hopefully he'll give her the confidence she needs right now.

Tim smiled and agreed. "Yeah it was good to see ..."

Bob quickly chipped in. "Mind you a certain whirlwind and a little tornado didn't do too badly when they met ... definitely worth coming back for."

Tim looked at him and noting the tone said defensively. "We were **not **going to get mushy, **but** you're right it's nice to see Betsy so relaxed around new people and place and those two kids sitting by the pond with the boats and putting the world to rights was great."

Remembering it all Helen said softly. "I think in a strange way I'm going to miss being called Mum by her."

Tim smiled knowing what she meant and added. "Oh I think that and dad will slip out occasionally it's too ingrained not too but Helen and Tim in 'that' tone will be fine … you know she's lost some of the baggage now. At home everyone knew her parents and the tragedy so she was always the new orphan … even travelling she was surrounded by her loss and troubles about the future … sort of hurt both ways … we felt it as well I know.

Now she can see past it, she's found new friends … schoolmates who accept her as just another newcomer who is being brought up by an Aunt and Uncle and the tragedy is done and dusted … memories accepted put in the right place. Not only that she's met Benjy who is younger and in a sort of similar position and is coping with it. We all know she won't forget her parents … they are part of her … just as we are part of them and us getting new jobs in a new place is also helping … proving to her we are all okay."

Remembering the children in the playing area and knowing Helen and Tim needed moving on a bit Bob added gently. "Do you think **all **their ideas will be incorporated in the play area by the cafe?"

Knowing Helen would need a moment to get out of the sadness he knew she would be feeling Tim chuckled and commented. "No but Betsy will make sure Ben puts some in. You know, I can see her trying to sneak lots of visits to Jenny's new home … one after she's nagged us to death to go and another other when Ben and Meg go. Well at least Jenny's father's friendship with Ben will not be broken again..."

Feeling more herself Helen interrupted. "True. And they'll have ideas going to and fro by email or phone in the meantime and it doesn't look as what happened here it will affect Antonio friendship with Ben or Benjy which is good and why I was glad he stayed on though I thought it might have been Antonio ringing when Jude..."

Tim nodded and interrupted her knowing she'd understand. "As for Benjy he seemed to be getting more used to Ben though he preferred to have others around them both and he did have the distraction of meeting Betsy this afternoon. **So** in all honesty I reckon we'll know more about how he's really accepted everything by his sleep tonight and his actions tomorrow when he finds out certain things have not changed. His mother's in jail and his father's dead."

He paused for a moment then looked at his wife and added. "I was wondering about Ben visiting Derek's grave I know Antonio says he was content sitting beside it but that was when he was … coming back … not remembering everything … now he does I wonder if things could be different. I mean we don't really know how he's dealt with the loss of his twin and today's been about more Meg and Benjy than anything else."

Helen understood his fears about the twin's grief and guilt suddenly erupting and said. "I'll make sure I'm around when he goes to visit the grave whether it's with Benjy or by himself. Don't forget he did say that finding Betsy helped him and his subconscious could have dealt with it then or on the road and it was in the bits he lost on waking. I'm sure if Benjy is with him it will be the love he has for his twin and the boy that will help them both through it and they will be able to say goodbye to Derek together. I doubt it will matter if Ben thinks Derek was a victim or a perpetrator at the end the grief will be same. "

Tim nodded and looked out across the garden and asked. "Do you think we should call them in its starting to get darker?"

Helen followed his gaze and understanding his fears said. "No they will come when they are ready. It was nice of Jude to find and bring their rings I've no doubt they will put them on, seal what they know. As Ben's not slept or blacked out today I reckon he's in more control now."

Bob, like the others looked at the couple and could not resist the gentle retort. "Well you two can carry him in or stay out there with him if he's not."

As Tim and Helen swung their gaze back to him he added. "You **know** that's not a given fact and he used to switch off at dusk and then come on at the crack of dawn … **still **comes on at the crack of dawn." Remembering Ben was late this morning added. "Well Sort of."

Helen smiled and said. "We'll keep a watching brief."

Bob nodded satisfied he'd warned them and announced quickly. "As for tonight I'll sleep in the chair again it was comfortable enough last night and that way Meg can relax as well. You two can sleep upstairs with the monitor on or I'll just call if I need help with him, it's up to you."

Tim became all 'doctor' and said. "You **need** your sleep. We've made the bed up in the next chalet; the door is through Meg's bedroom. The bathroom's downstairs so no stairs and you'll still be close to Ben if you want it that way. We'll use the monitor, up or down that will depend on Meg."

Bob looked at his brother in law and insisted. "I'll catnap on the chair. It worked last night." then chuckled adding. "I'll get enough sleep when they knock me out tomorrow." then sighed knowing it was true and admitted. "I wouldn't sleep anyway that's one of the reasons I'm here. Tyus read about pre op walkabouts and decided it was better here than there."

Tim nodded and said. "Well, just don't go walkabout with Ben okay."

Hearing Helen's heartfelt sigh Bob chuckled at the idea and finished his now lukewarm cup of tea.


	66. Chapter 66

As the day comes to an end so does this story.

Must admit thought writing about what happens in a few days would be a short story ... should have know better.

Special thanks to Dakota and the other reviewers it's nice to know you are there it's a bit mind blowing realising this goes round the world.

Though I write this for myself ... to get it out of my head ... I would love to hear from anyone else about what they think of it.

Most of all I hope you've enjoyed it.

**Chapter 66**

Having said goodbye to Jude and not wanting to be with the group at the moment Meg and Ben walked back to one of their favourite places in the garden and sat down letting their minds silently settle as their busy day was drawing to a quiet close. After a moment knowing the other personal things could not be given back to him yet Ben opened his hands, which he'd been resting on his lap to reveal the gift Jude had given him.

Looking at the three rings that had been cleaned and blessed by Father Brown he felt Meg stir beside him but carried on quietly thinking things through. He knew the love theses rings represented was still there nothing could remove that or hid it ... and that love was stronger now. Now they both knew what they could have lost … did lose for a while ... and could lose in the future at fate's wish. And fate had given a second chance of life and love, he had felt and seen those flames of friendship and love grow as he'd come back to his friends and soulmate and gently picked up her wedding ring and felt it in his fingers.

Really recognising it and feeling the glow of his deep love for her running through him he looked at his soulmate and seeing the sparkle in her eyes and soft loving smile he'd missed and had held onto, even when he hadn't know it … **knew** this was what they both wanted.

Quickly glancing down at her wedding ring to make sure he was holding it right he saw her left hand reach towards his as silent confirmation of his thoughts, so he gently eased the ring on her finger. Not wanting to break the moment he quickly added her engagement ring as well, and as his fingers covered both rings so was holding her hand he looked at her saying softly with deep love. "Love you always."

Revelling in his touch, smile, words and the moment, without hesitation and her love for him surging through her Meg slipped her hand out of his light grasp, glanced down and took his wedding ring from the palm of his hand. Then gently holding his left hand she slipped the ring on his finger saying with equal love and softness. "Love you always." and looked into the eyes and face of her soulmate.

They looked at each other with love then kissed … a brief light but loving kiss … both consciously or unconsciously knowing certain lines were not to be crossed just yet. … To push things too far or too fast would undo these precious moments. And so afterwards Meg sat close to Ben while he put his arm round her shoulders and not wanting to bring up past the same reason they talked about the future. Wispy light flexible ideas for them, friends and the universe … both knowing nothing was written in stone … then totally at ease in each other's company they slipped into a comfortable silence watching the last of the day's sun sparkle on the pond.

Slipping out of wispy thoughts Ben enjoyed that warmth and security Meg had always unknowingly given him. Knowing even when they'd been online together he'd felt something but had put it down to fancy ideas or loneliness, and it was true he'd not recognised it when she'd first came to town … just felt a tug of something as he walked out onto the beach at the end of another day. And when he'd met her at the café and the club he'd thought it was just the start of friendship with a beautiful young lady, who'd recently left home to find or follow a dream or an idea of her own and was not really any concern of his. After all, he was older and had a past to come to terms with but he did have a position in town and that meant he could help her find her feet safely. But it hadn't stopped there … it had grown into something he knew he didn't want to live without ... but would if he had to … if she told him to … as she had under South Pier … once not knowing he was there … and once to his face or rather as she'd walked away from him …..

As those old shadows and doubts threatened to rise up again he pushed them away knowing Meg was his wife and soulmate who loved him … And found he was thrown back into the bittersweet memories of earlier when he had launched the small boat following Benjy's directions. After which without fuss the group had drifted away leaving him and his nephew by the pond with the boat but Meg had stayed quietly by their sides for which he was grateful. Watching the boat sailing on the pond with Benjy so close by quietly pulling the string brought back those earlier memories when the two of them had sailed the boat off the beach or in the very large rock pools … and they intermingled with these new ones.

Then with the innocence of a child getting wrapped up in play Benjy talked about his memories with the boat only this time he named the uncle or daddy in the right place. And when he wasn't sure who he'd been with at the time he turned without embarrassment or unease to Ben and Meg for answers and once satisfied he went back to playing and making new memories. Though it hurt Ben to renew those memories and hear the new ones that had taken place during the months he'd been kidnapped, he also felt an unexplainable gentleness in him that stopped him spiralling into a darker mood so he could enjoy this special time.

Remembering it again Ben knew he and his nephew had been putting their memories in their right places. It was what he'd been doing over the last few days so he accepted the pain it caused and knew his twin had been right the boat was special and should never be lost. And wondered if that gentleness he'd felt and couldn't explain was his twin with them or whether that was just his wishful thinking. Because by being there and hearing those memories from his nephew while sailing the boat on the pond he'd become part of something that he would have wanted but could never have had in real life, even if his twin had lived. Quite simply put father, son and uncle sharing time watching the small boat on the water.

He smiled as the memories rolled on from those darker ones and onto how the call for lunch had seemed minutes from the group leaving the launching of the boat, but when they'd met up he'd felt the story of his past had been told and accepted. Hadn't been news said and digested in a rush, which meant it had been possibly hours rather than minutes had passed and his hunger in spite of the cakes he'd eaten early confirmed it. When they'd arrived at the café he wasn't at all surprised Jenny and her parents made things easy and both groups got to know each other talking about future moves or plans rather than what had happened in the past. He'd found it restful to enjoy the food and let the easy chatter go on without him and noticed Benjy was being allowed to do the same. And when those dark edges threatened again he turned them away by concentrating and joining in for the odd word or two.

By the time they'd finished the meal everyone was not only full but had come to the conclusion that the ground was too hard and too far down to sit on and the logs were too uncomfortable so they would raid the small garden furniture section on the way back to the chalet. With lots of discussions about which seats were best and with the aid of motorised trolleys as well as extra manpower it was all sorted out. So the logs were now part of the scenery and two long slightly curved comfortable benches were now by the pond and a straight two seater was at the top of the garden with clusters of chairs scattered around the garden as moveable extras.

Then it been time for Benjy and families to go and Ben's mood quickly spiralled down into those darker thoughts that had always been on the edges … that his nephew would turn away from him without looking back and would not return. The boy's tolerance of him was token … was just relief his nightmare hadn't all come true and all this … was the right thing to do with all the adults around. … And none of these were the child's true feelings and why should they be … he his uncle had killed his father and looking at him so the boy could never forget or forgive. … But he'd been wrong … there was no polite forced handshake from his nephew … there was a hug and promises to return with a boat for him and see Betsy … …

Ben shivered feeling the pull of sleep … and just like earlier in the day he didn't want it ... to have it now he would lose what he had … what he'd gained during the day and over the last few days … and he wasn't ready for that just yet.

With that push away from sleep his memories went on to Benjy and the group leaving and he remembered those dark edges rising again … the good memories mixing with the darker memories of his marriage … that never was … where he'd given love and felt happiness for the first time but now knew it was all based on lies and betrayal. … Lies and betrayal that left him feeling tainted … dirty and unworthy of love. And being unable to talk about it and needing to stay awake he'd shut the others out and had found a small corner plot of garden and cleared it … picked it clean of rubbish.

With each sod of grass, plant or stone he chucked out he argued with the darker memories and tried to slam them to the back of his mind … put them in a cupboard and slam the door shut on them … and stay awake so he wouldn't dream … wouldn't lose the others before he could get them back properly. But all the time hurt still screamed at him … threatening to pull him down…

Trying to pull away from those darker memories now he shivered and clung onto the memory that Benjy had returned for tea on his own free will. Though in his depressed state then he hadn't expected the boy to come back and had been waiting for the phone to ring and Helen's quiet explanation the boy needed more time and had gone home. Instead he'd heard a child's laughter and adults greeting each other as the garden gate was opened and the groups met. So when he looked and saw them his dark mood lightened.

Again he saw Benjy running towards him and he scooped him up swung the child round bringing him into a hug as he stopped. And as he stopped he saw smiles on his soulmate's and friends' faces and realised they had understood his need for silence and solitude … that he had not really shunned them and they were happy for him and knew he would join them again … …

But it wasn't working now … because remembering it all and knew in spite of that greeting his nephew hadn't fully accepted him … wasn't easy in his company … why else would he make sure that they were never alone … there was always someone else with them and something to do. He knew he didn't have the right of those father son moments he'd had with child but he'd hoped for nephew uncle moments … that was never going to happen now. And felt again the taint and hearing Maria's laughter as well as remembering his own betrayal of his soulmate ... knew those darker shadows were getting closer …getting stronger. … He didn't want this … didn't want the good memories to go … to disappear into the bad ones … but he couldn't stop it … …and felt the jailer's threatening presence and knew he was here to take it all away from him again … …

Meg's gentle but firm call of "**Ben**" cut into his spiralling downward mood.

oxoxo

After they'd exchanged rings, kissed and the wispy talk of the future Meg felt a bit like the cat that got the bowl of cream in front of her … her foes defeated and she had all the time in the world to enjoy her prize. What was more she felt secure with her husband's arm around her shoulders and knew that her 'Ben' was back for good so let her mind drift back over the successful day. The morning had been a roller coaster ride of the past and all its implications and adjustments. But the afternoon visit had been different she'd felt it … they'd all come back because they'd wanted to and not only that she and Benjy had found some common ground for a new beginning. So when she'd stayed around Benjy and Ben this time with the groups intermingling and when Betsy came it was because the boy accepted her. And in the morning she'd been there mainly for Ben's sake because someone had to watch out for him … make sure he didn't suddenly fall face down into the pond or Benjy suddenly turn on him.

On Christmas Day her parents had been Benjy's mainstay she'd only acted as maid … carrying toys and food when she had been around otherwise she'd been dealing with Vanessa's wedding and coming to terms that Ben had left her. When Claire and Josh came she'd talked to them but again it was her parents and Benjy who were the main players and she'd wanted it that way for both their sakes after all they'd been pawns in the other game and didn't know what they felt about each other and there was Derek's death hanging over them as well. By the pond she'd felt like a helper for uncle and nephew as memories had been passed between them the link was the boat not her. During the lunch she'd found her tentative friendship with Josh and Claire deepen but Benjy had been quiet … coming to terms with things and it wasn't the time to start a true friendship. Then after the meal she'd been around her parents giving and getting reassurances that they would be their link to the outside world till Ben was steady enough to face it … not only on the business side of things but as friends and in laws. And she'd given them a quickly scribbled list of things she wanted so she could make here a temporary home so again Benjy was on sidelines as far as she was concerned.

When they'd gone she'd accepted as she had during the meal that Ben's quietness and moodiness was him working things out… well they all had a lot of thinking to do when you came down it. True she'd expected him to sleep on the lawn as soon as the guests had left and then when he woke they would work things through. The fact he didn't sleep pleased her made her think it was a step forward, especially as he'd not blackout after all the shocks in the morning either. Having talked with Helen she'd decided she would follow Ben's example …in a milder way though … they'd all decided to let the weeds and ground take the brunt of his turmoil. Finding a smaller area within Ben's sight but out of range she started to do the same instead of sorting things out in her mind she concentrated on what she was doing and what might go in there later and realised if nothing else it had killed time.

Wondering why she thought that phrase of killing time considering things she pondered about Ben's progress. He was himself now more than the stranger but she couldn't see him taking that other step … the one of going into the chalet for any length of time like everyone else would. That might come in a few days time perhaps … in which case she'd have to make sure everyone was out of the area if or when he wanted to take a shower. She couldn't help smiling, his quick exit the last time had its interesting side but she knew it would embarrass him too much with other people around and didn't think he would want to do a hosepipe by the shed either. But then again would he come rushing out the chalet the next time … that time he hadn't known why he didn't like going into buildings … homes … now he did and the threat wasn't there any more so would that make it easier for him?

It wouldn't affect his sleeping arrangement … the bed was near the open door so he could feel as though he was outside and the bed could be put back into the room in easy stages as and when. … But how would he sleep now … switch off as soon as his head hit the pillow and switch on at dawn. … She hoped it would be like it used to be so he would drift off … not with her beside him yet but that would come when his memory was stable she knew that. She certainly didn't want him to lie and worry about it all … more like sleep at his command … Could she expect that if she couldn't sleep at her command ... she hadn't last night but then she knew more now and was his wife now …got the rings to prove it.

What else would help to prove to him he wasn't in limbo anymore … His things were in storage and had too many joint memories of him and Maria. A lot of her stuff had joint memories that way as well so would she have to ditch them or bring them back slowly check his reaction to them … wait till he'd been back longer. The things she'd asked her parents to bring were things she'd bought recently so more hers than his and the magazines were ones they'd both been interested in.

In any case all his clothes had gone out as requested in his phone call to her Christmas morning … he'd said he would buy new … that had not happened. Helen had fitted him out with clothes … unless this was his new style … no no … the jumper would go once he felt secure. He now had more space so could get more clothes … jeans would be for work so he'd need smart and casual or even underclothes come to that. If not now then soon and would need to be measured … so where from the old store or somewhere new. Wherever it was could he cope with the fuss … he wouldn't want to go in they'd have to come here or the Mission. Bigger question though should she say something or wait for him to bring it up … finds he's run out of whatever ... she gave a silent sigh as it was confirming the fact his coming back wasn't going to be straight forward … especially as he could suddenly go back to square one …

Feeling Ben shiver and subconsciously registering he'd done it before she came out of her thoughts and glancing at him and realised he wasn't 'there' even if he was sat beside her. So called his name to get his attention hoping her thoughts that he could go back to square one had not just come true.

As he turned his face towards her, though relieved he actually heard and reacted to her voice she saw 'that' haunted look and knew he'd been and was still in a dark place. Silently cursing herself for not being more vigilant or tuned into his needs rather than her own thoughts she called his name again. Only this time she made it sound like a question, hoping that would bring him out of his dark place. Then blowing caution to the wind she put her hand on his making sure he felt her ring and her connection **and** if he did the dirty on her and blacked out … well she'd put him safe then scream for the others … they were bound to be in or just outside the chalet.

oxoxo

Registering Meg was there Ben's mind tugged at the question in the second call of his name and held onto the fine line of thought. Feeling her touch/connection he instinctively recognised there were rings on their fingers and remembered they were married and had given them to each other earlier and came out of the dark downward spiralling mood saying quietly but firmly knowing it was true. "I've hurt you again."

Thankful he hadn't flipped on her Meg took a guess remembering their earlier talks and where his mind had jumped to and answered gently but truthfully. "No you haven't." and not willing to mention that woman's name emphasized the first word to get over who she was talking about. "**She** took your love and betrayed it and took advantage of you that night at The Deep, we both know that now." then with a softer tone and keeping her feeling neutral carried on. "I know you are hurting much more than I ever did when Tim betrayed my love and Derek pretended to be you but that was …

Meg's words and tone kicked started Ben's thoughts and he interrupted her softly. "Don't belittle your pain. You grew up with and loved Tim..."

Knowing he would want to protect her from her hurt just as much as she wanted to protect him Meg nodded and butted in quickly. "I know, and they **all** broke our trust, our love. What you told me after we came back from the cabin and what Derek did is true for you now as it was for me then. And I love you and know your love is true... **our** love is true. We both know the days ahead are not going to be easy for you but I will be here for you as you were for me then." Pausing briefly she then voiced gently a point she knew troubled him. "**And** I understand we can't sleep together as man and wife yet, but we both know it will come in its own time, **and** we have that time now because of your strength of character and love."

Glancing down at her hand she gently took his and brushed her fingers so the rings touched again and then looked back at him and knew he'd been watching her so carried on softly. "I'm glad Jude managed to bring these rings because the love they were bought with and exchanged with the first time and today has not been broken or tainted and it will always be there for both of us no matter what."

Hearing the warmth and love in her voice and the truth in her words broke into his darker mood, and bringing up a recent memory Ben nodded then said. "Glad it's working out for them. Jude's an interesting bloke and I can see how he'd fascinate Annie."

Taking a moment to take on board the sudden change of topic Meg gave a gentle laugh remembering the meeting; the easy conversation as gossip and wishes were passed on and could see a new friendship starting to grow between the two men and admitted honestly. "Yes he is and I'm glad he's managed to put her off coming here."

Ben looked at her with an innocent expression and understanding her fears completely asked gently. "Don't think I could cope with her twisted ways then?"

Meg smiled and said "No I don't think **I** could." then admitted gently. "But I do know and understand why you want to see her and that she needs to see you."

Ben nodded knowing the difference this time would be they all knew there was only friendship being offered and added. "In a couple of days then and I'll make sure Helen's around as back up."

Meg couldn't help laughing at that, she could hear her old Ben in that and decided she wasn't going to risk things she'd make sure Jude was there as well. And wanting to change the subject she glanced across the pond to where the two small boats were securely moored to stakes and asked. "Should we take them in?" and knew immediately she would stir up other memories as well as the thought it was time to leave the pond, which it was it had been a long day.

Ben looked at the two boats side by side Benjy's with white sails and the new one with white and blue sails and remembering his nephew's words and the fun they had with them answered easily. "Only if the others can find a home for them and it might rain if not they can stay out. I'm glad he chose our favourite colour. Perhaps we could find something for him from the centre in the morning assuming he's coming round of course." And felt that shadow edge closer again… couldn't stop it … because he knew Benjy could still reject him as an uncle and if so he would have to find a way of accepting it and not let it get him down …

Remembering the story Ben had told Benjy and Betsy as they sailed the boats on the pond Meg couldn't help the gentle tease. "Ports Lilly Pad and Iris."

He gave her a look and huffed at the tease "Well they both liked them, though the Irises will not be out till next year." and feeling the dark shadow lift again he gently tossed his own tease back at her. "None got stuck so you didn't have to wad in to the rescue."

Through her soft chuckle Meg said "True … The string worked well for around and across the pond and surprisingly enough the ones Betsy brought back from her school trip didn't either." and looked at the six brightly coloured little windup speed boats moored to sticks on the other side of the pond. There had been a couple of close calls but a nudge with a stick or one of the boats with the string coming up alongside did the trick. And remembering they all had their own little stories which the children made up she added softly. "Better than ducks don't you think?"

Ben looked at her feeling totally grounded again as he remembered it all and smiled accepting the tease. Then he looking on past the boats he answered her gently. "Yes, though I think the Heron would have preferred fishes to boats or ducks."

She looked at the beautiful stone bird that had been in the garden centre and was now standing sedately looking down into the pond and said as though considering the matter very seriously. "Stone fish jumping out of the water?"

Matching her tone Ben answered. "Umm a bit much I suppose … just have to hope he or she doesn't fly off in disgust."

Meg chuckled at the thought and saw a small shiver run through Ben and said gentle. "I know you're fighting it but you must sleep."

He nodded knowing she was right but not yet he didn't want those dark edges to come back and said. "I'm glad Benjy and Betsy get on so well."

She guessed he wasn't ready and didn't want to push for an explanation so accepted his tactics. "I suppose they've realised they are not one of kind anymore and it's okay to be brought up by an uncle and aunt."

Ben nodded adding. "Gave each other confidence to be themselves, don't think Claire and Josh realised what a chatterbox they've got."

Meg nodded and said thoughtfully. "Nor did anyone else come to that." Then smiled remembering the two children together and added. "Betsy's a bubble of energy and once she starts you can't help but go along with her and I think that drew Benjy out. She certainly surprised Helen when she announced she was going to school with Sandra tomorrow though I expect she'll pop in and see Bob afterwards." then added firmly but gently not wanting the day to end with a collapse. "I think we should move sweetheart."

Ben nodded as another shiver ran through him, those dark edges were still there but he knew he could cope with them now he had better thoughts in his mind. Also he didn't want her to see him collapse she'd seen it once and he remembered her heartfelt cry, so he would make a move. Getting up he stretched the kinks out of his back and put his bag on his shoulder, knowing he still need it close even if Meg was with him and held out his hand to help her up. After all if he was stiff she would be and her touch was good anyway.

Meg took his hand and got up and when they were close for a moment they looked at each other and Ben bent down slightly and kissed her, as they broke apart he smiled and said warmly. "Thank you."

She looked at him smiled and said softly "You're welcome." Knowing they grounded each other with their love and it would be okay and still holding hands they started to walk round the pond towards the chalet. After a moment she asked. "Shed or bathroom?"

Without any hesitation he answered. "The shed if you'll wait." At her nod he added. "You've got the list I made for tomorrow."

Meg said "Yes." and started to find out which pocket she'd put it in.

Ben stopped her saying. "No, read with the others when I'm asleep, they can tell you how much we can do and we'll go over it at breakfast."

Accepting his wish and wondering what he'd put on it she walked with him in silence till he left her at the shed.

While he washed up for the night she looked back over at the pond seeing the night lights come on now dusk was falling and checked over towards the chalet and saw Helen with the others start to move the table and chairs in for the night and knew she would talk to them later.

oxoxo

After Ben joined Meg again and they were nearer the chalet Helen came over noting the body language of the couple looked good and asked with a smile. "Everything all right?"

Meg smiled back and answered immediately. "Yes thank you. Ben's been shivering, but not from cold so he's turning in. He's made a list of things and wants me to go through it with you later and we were wondering what we should do about the boats."

"We've got a large box for them so Tim will bring them." As Helen spoke she mentally checked Ben over as he'd just given her a nod and stayed silent and could see he was looking tired, which wasn't surprising considering today and added. "Bob is going to sleep in the chair as he did last night but will not be there for a while, till then we'll have the monitor on if that's all right with you Ben?

Feeling the tugs of sleep getting strong and knowing Helen would want to know how he really was Ben answered. "Yes and thank you … for everything today ... I feel better than I did but I'm not sure about things in the morning."

Helen could see he didn't want to go into details and didn't blame him so reassured him. "Dark edges and doubts are understandable you've come back to memory in rush. But I don't think you will regress to being a total stranger again for long, you've got enough good nudges to start you thinking about the last couple of days or things in the future rather than getting stuck in the other past. You might feel uncertainty about a few things perhaps but they will come back or be put right once we talk about them and you've got the photos to look at which will help if you want to do it quietly by yourself at any time.

You have your wife with you now and you know everyone is safe. If you are concerned about Benjy's reaction tomorrow I think both of you will be able to work your way through it. Remember he came back because he wanted to, his boat is here and you've got Claire and Josh's support. Main thing is you don't hid or force things we are here for you for as long as you want us."

Ben nodded gaining the reassurance her words were giving him and seeing Bob leaning against the wall asked. "You sure you want the chair tonight."

Bob nodded adding "It will be better than tossing and turning in bed I can assure you of that." then added with a grin. "I'll be in the other room when I come back and you can be my slave."

Ben nodded and chuckled, remembering Bob hated being idle and gave a nod of goodnight to them and with Meg by his side walked towards the bedroom. As he got closer to the room he shivered violent feeling that apprehension sweep across him. Part of him knew Maria or the Jailer could not harm him but there was still a deep seated fear that in a room … a house he loved and felt safe in he'd violated …so he could be again.

Seeing the shiver Meg put her hand on his arm and said gently. "Its all right, we are here for you … it will go … it did with me."

Ben looked at her understanding her meaning … she'd been in his arms when he'd felt her fear and nodded then sighed … he trusted her completely as she had trusted him that first time after Derek's deceit. Looking at the bed just inside the doorway he knew he'd have to sleep there and not with her … he didn't want either of them to have the shock of him waking not knowing her it might only be a few seconds or minute but that would be enough to cause them both pain. And knew he needed to sleep as he was … as he had been doing on the road and needed to tell her without hurting or scaring her and started gently. "I can't …

Meg anticipated him and gently interrupted saying. "You can sleep as you are. I'll put the blanket over you." And quickly moved a head of him to remove the blanket and put it on the end of the bed out the way and stayed there.

He nodded thankful he didn't need to explain and suddenly feeling very tired and the shutters coming down walked over to the bed. Sitting on it he took his shoes off and put them in his bag and his mind zoomed into the old routine of winding the strap of his bag round his arm and then swinging his legs on the bed so he could lie on his side curling round his bag to protect it. Feeling the comfort of the mattress under him, the softness of the pillow under his head knowing he was going he whispered. "Meg."

Watching him Meg had seen the change come over him and hearing her name she quickly went to him and seeing the closing down look answered softly but clearly. "Ben"

Hearing her voice so close he focused his on love for her as they'd sat by the pond and exchanged rings and with the softness and love he'd said it then whispered. "Love you ..."

Knowing he was losing consciousness rapidly and the significance of phrase he'd started Meg quickly added the last word with all her love in it. "Always." And as his eyes closed she kissed him gently on his forehead … hoping he would it take with him as well.

Feeling the love for him as she had when they'd exchanged rings she gently brushed her hand against cheek for one last touch and then got the blanket and covered him. Not wanting to leave him just yet she stood back and watched him ... telling herself it was just to make sure he didn't suddenly wake up and find an empty room. Standing there she drank in his peaceful expression and as there wasn't a flicker from his eyelids and his breathing was even knew he'd gone from her for the night and remembering their 'goodnight' she smiled turned and walked out the room to find the others.

oxoxo

As soon as Meg came into the room Helen went over to her and put her arm around her shoulders to silently guide or give her support she might need and with her other hand she gently took Meg's left hand just to check for confirmation she'd been right and smiled at her.

Meg smiled back knowing words were not needed and as she could hear Ben's breathing over the monitor realised they'd heard their words and said. "We said them as we exchanged rings." Then she looked at the others to include them and added. "Thank you." Knowing without their help none of this would have happened.

Tim and Bob smiled and nodded while Helen gave a gentle chuckle, though deep down she was doing a happy dance and knew Meg needed to relax so said gently. "Now you must unwind. Tell us your plans; you said he gave you a list."

With her emotions tumbling and mixing with a slight feeling of lose now she was away from Ben, Meg sighed and with her strength going from her legs she sat on the chair Tim had pulled out for her so sat next to him. Helen sat by Bob trying to keep her expectations under control so Meg would really relax.

Trying to get a hold of what was important Meg's mind flew back to by the pond and what she wanted to say came out as a rush. "He needs some more clothes but don't know his size now or how he'll cope with a shower. He wouldn't let me read the list..."

Helen gently interrupted the rush. "We can check about the clothes during the day. As for the shower Tim can talk him through that if needs be. His idea of list is good especially as it came from him. It's a thing I would have suggested he do in a day or so he's certainly a quick thinker now his memory's back. We'll get him two books a small one for lists and scrappy things the other can be a more permanent one sort of scrap book come day book. He can put in things he wants to do and tick them off as he achieves them and we can stick this list on the first page so he can refer back to it when necessary as a mind jogger. Date on top to give him a time jogger as well."

Seeing the rush of fear in Meg's expression Helen added gently. "Hey … don't worry. He's doing extremely well and the ring on his finger is the best memory jogger I know. He will feel it and look at it and those memories of you exchanging rings by the pond will come back to him no matter where he is. He will not only remember your love and words but also the pond and that will link back to everyone who's been here today and the good times along with their names and who they are. He will know where he is or if he's away from the garden centre where it is. An anchor in place, time and people ... we are all his family now Meg and he's been making the good links to override the bad ones. I won't deny it he might be a stranger to himself for a while and several times over the next few days or even weeks these things are never clear cut but he will **never** be a stranger to you or to us again."

Meg smiled realising that was true … she knew so much about him now she would be able to talk him back to her and he had wanted all this … had wanted to be with her … had trusted her. Feeling stronger … happier she unfolded the piece of paper and started to look at it gave a soft sigh then exclaimed gently. "He's even put breakfast down at the top."

Bob rolled his eyes and exclaimed quietly. "Typical."

Helen chuckled quietly feeling for him while letting Meg carried on.

As Meg did she eyed them "It says subject to Mother Hens approval … I suppose that's us." Seeing three nods she smiled and continued. "There are several names bracketed with the note to ring or see Hank I think that's his jogging code back to this afternoon. Also Tess/Charles/Jude I suppose that's to make sure he gets an up date again." and looked up to check expecting to get nods and saw Tim's expression so waited.

Tim pondered for a moment than asked. "Is she anything like Claire and did Ben like?"

Meg thought back trying to compare the two and said. "They look alike but Tess has long hair and I suppose you could say Claire is the softer version you can see her feelings Tess was very guarded and only dropped it when Ben rescued Benjy from the supposed kidnapping that went wrong. It's only with hindsight I can see she loved Benjy would do anything for him. As for Tess and Ben well they tolerated each other for Benjy's and Maria's sake can't say he actually liked her."

Tim sighed and looking at his wife said. "She is the mother of his nephew and widow of his twin and ..."

Helen understood where he was going and didn't want to get too tangled up in that discussion with Meg tonight so said. "Good point we'll have to watch him on that. He can take a watching brief but not closer I've no doubt Jude will let us read her statement and we can take it from there. Claire's intelligent and told me Tess could be very cunning and that's what split her family up. Of course that could be why Ben's put it on the list he wants us to throw the idea round and have proper thoughts about it when he runs through the list. The fact it's there is a very pointer that he is really coming back to us and it's not just a surface comeback."

Meg had to admit to herself she really didn't like the idea of Ben getting tied up with Tess's case and wanting to get away from it said. "Then there's Casey's call here to take us to the Mission Ben wants to see what needs to be finished and visit Derek's grave. …It's not down here but we did wonder about asking Antonio to bless the marriage but are worried it might be…

Helen interrupted gently. "I'm sure he would like to, just the two of you and in the quiet of the Mission most likely in the yard Ben had made his home. Antonio's a sensible young man who has always supported the pair of you and he did mention about blessing your marriage but didn't want to say anything at the moment because you didn't have the rings. If he does feel uneasy or doesn't think it right I've no doubt he will get one of the other Fathers to do it for him."

Meg nodded knowing that would be acceptable and said. "Part of Ben wants Benjy to be with him when he visits Derek's grave but he's still unsure about the boy's feelings and whether it was too soon. And I was thinking if they did I could see Sara, she's bound to be at the Mission. She's the only one of the family not seen Ben yet and there are a couple of things we need to discuss they are too complicated to do it through mum or on the phone. She's not really meant to be at the shop, she only came in for stocktaking and by seeing her there it could be a sort of 'Hi Ben' in passing because I want him to rest more I think he's been pushing himself too much today."

Helen nodded and looked across at Tim who also nodded but let her do the talking. "I expect he'll potter at things though sleeping might be a good idea, especially as he's still getting over that cough. But we can't force him just guide him. We can ring your parents up in the morning and see how Benjy is and if he wants to visit the Mission with Ben if not he can come to lunch. He's not likely to spend hours here while he adjusts to everything again; it will be drop-in visits with people around him, most likely without your parents this time and we can stay out the way a bit more. I'm sure the one to one visits will come later and we'll have an idea whether they all go home or Benjy and Claire can stay a little longer whatever happens we'll be able to plan for future visits. As for our plans tomorrow Tim will take Bob in first thing and then he and I need to see the headmistress of Betsy's new school to get her formally in there. Usually the parents look at the school before the child starts but as Betsy's insisting on going in tomorrow we'll do it the other way round. …"

Meg smiled and interrupted. "It's a nice school and Sandra loves it."

Helen smiled and remembering Jenny's comments. "Yes and Betsy's already got a mentor in Sandra's friend Hailey so it should work out well. Of course if Tim and I go together that means you and Ben will be on your own so why don't you ask Sara and Casey round then say half three for tea and we can see how things go and slip out when necessary. I know you can cope with Ben so it will be a quiet personal time for the four of you, Jude said the police will be on the gate for several days as well and we will only be a phone call away."

Meg thought it through and liked it, though the bit about her being able to cope was a bit off but then again she had looked after Ben when he'd been worse off than today so perhaps she did and Casey would be there anyway. She could also show Sara her idea about having a Sunset Sisters here and said with some confidence. "I like that thank you. I'll ring her in a minute and you'll be able to visit Bob as well."

Helen chuckled. "Oh yes … sleepy head."

"Hey!" Bob said sharply but there was a twinkle in his eyes and brother and sister understood each other very well and as Helen looked at him he carried on. "Don't forget the chocolates and grapes!"

Tim chimed in as he got up. "Not good for you lad, you know that." then added. "Meg you want a drink?"

"Tea please."

"Not even going to ask you sunshine." He added at Bob's look and went over to the kitchen area.

Bob's very quiet "So not fair."

Helen chuckled and a reassured him quietly. "Betsy will sneak the chocolates in." looking at Meg who was looking at Ben's list she added. "So a new start tomorrow for all of us by the looks of things, everything okay?"

Meg looked up smiling and then said. "Yes at the bottom he's written. Love you always, Meg my wife and soulmate. Ben

Helen looked at her and said gently. "See he's not going to be a stranger to you again. He's home and knows it."

Meg said softly with conviction. "Yes your right."

**The End.**

Thanks for reading it ... hope you enjoyed it ... please review it.


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